Midnight Desire

ONE

Anabel

I curled my fingers around the pole, smiling as I looked at the patrons of the club inching forward as I shook my ass at them.

I lived for this. I loved this. My life might be a mess but this was where it all made sense. I loved how the men looked at me with their roaming, devouring eyes as if they couldn't wait to get their hands on me and get more of me.

We all knew that wasn't ever going to happen but I loved the attention all the same as they made me feel like I was a goddess they would like to worship.

I felt appreciated in here as if I mattered and was more than what I really was.

I loved the attention and how sexy they made me feel. I loved the way the men looked at me and groaned in ectasy and I did more moves because of that. I curled my finger tighter around the club as if I had my legs wrapped around the length of a man and leaned backwards, my brown hair tilting forward to show my pretty neck.

I began to slide up and down the pole, as if I was riding a dick. I imagined myself saying that. I moaned softly in tune to the background music playing softly in the club. I released one of my hands from the pole and let it wander down to my core, and stroked myself with it.

The men went crazy as they watched me finger myself as I danced. I did this, turning them on and smiling as I did. Hot Haven was an upscale bar for the richest people in town and only business owners, heirs and wealthy tycoons could afford it.

This were men who controlled moves and commanded respect in the outside world but in here, they were a bunch of horny teenagers thinking with their penises rather than the genius brains the rest of the world knew them for.

I loved that I made those high men act like beasts. I loved that I was part of those who knew this part of them that was hidden to the rest of the world. Of course, I wouldn't breathe a word about this to any soul. I had signed a non-disclosure form before I took this job. I was not even to think about the clients after leaving the club, much more talk of them.

I tuned back to the men and the dance. I shifted my panties through the low skirt I was wearing and pushed my finger in so deep I could swear I felt impaled by it. I fucked myself hard with my finger, moaning loudly as I enjoyed myself and entertained them.

Some of the men had lost it and were pushing themselves off the chair they were seated on and inching forward. I could see the frustration on their faces that they couldn't go beyond that. Some had their hands on their trousers and were teasing themselves through the clothes. It was no doubt that they had huge erections and I was glad that I had done that to them. I was filled with pride. I wasn't the best erotic dancer in hot haven without a reason.

I teased them further, shaking on the pole as if I was having an orgasm, teasing them further and increasing their torture knowing that they couldn't touch me. The club had a strict code for protecting her employees. I was a stripper and not a prostitute and would never be pimped out to any client regardless of how much he offered to the management.

I stopped and let go of the pole the moment the music stopped and bowed to them, my legs as stable as the roots of a tree and the look on my face as cool as anything else as if I hadn't been fingering myself crazy a moment ago. The crowd cheered, going crazy and my smile got wider, soaking up all the attention.

I knew what it was that turned them on more. It was the reality that I could turn the whole room and still remain impassive after my performance as if it was just that. They loved the twist, the challenge and I did more of that whenever I was on stage. I had no doubt that my bonus tonight would be fat as well.

I looked over the crowd and my breath caught in my throat. That was when I noticed him. That was where it all began. That was when my life changed and became the mess that it was, a mess that I would do all over again if I had the chance.

I was never affected by clients as I preferred to think of them as faceless beings whose shouts and groans encouraged me on stage to do better so I could earn more. This time, it was different. I looked at the man and for some reasons, I couldn't keep my eyes off him. He couldn't keep his eyes off me as well and it seemed like he was boring holes into my soul. The show was over and some of the patrons already had their minds on other things, talking to one another about a business deals and something else - after all, they were here for the connection as well - but this man still had his eyes on me.

He looked at me like he would love to suck me all over, lick me like I was a candy made especially for him and fuck me all hard and rough till I orgasmed truly.

I wouldn't have noticed him if I hadn't been looking around the club. He wasn't white and was seated in far corner of the club, twisting a glass of whisky in his black hands as he fixed a lusty state at me.

His eyes smiled at me when he realized I was looking at him. He had a naughty grin on his face and my heart started beating in my chest. He seemed like someone who could fuck me till I lost my composure and cool. He stared as if he would like me to come to that corner where he was so we could put that little theory to test. Oh boy, I groaned.

That really made me feel hot without a doubt. I wanted to jump his bones and it took me a lot of effort to not stare back at him as if I wouldn't mind fucking him in front of all these people if only he would have him.

He had this confident aura around him that must have come from being rich and knowing he could have anything that he wanted. It must be really good to be rich. I had no doubt that this man wanted me. He was hot and I was burning hot for him.

This was crazy. I had never done this before. I had never felt like this for a client before. I wondered if I had turned myself more than was needed on the pole and that was why I was reacting to him.

There was nothing special about this man. He wasn't the first man to look at me like they would like to eat me raw. They all did and I shouldn't be bothered about him. I was overreacting and yes, that was it.

I cleared my throat and looked away from him before I started blushing. I would hate to turn red here and have everyone see me look like a tomato. I would break my long-lasting record of being a professional and impassive record if I did that.

And for what? For a man I didn't know. He was just like the other clients, even though he had a gaze that threatened to pull me into the darkness with him.

I bowed one last time to the crowd and left the stage. Everything that had happened there after I was done dancing had been in a minute but with the way I was breathing hard, it felt like I had been climbing a mountain for the past seven hours.

I made my way to the dressing room and found Sean waiting for me at the door. I sighed, tired of this usual drama. Did we have to do this every night after my gig when he knew I would be tired?

"Sean, I'm not in the mood for this tonight. Please?" I begged, waving my hand at him as I tried to pass by him to the room.

The other girls were in different rooms dancing for the clients or serving drinks so I knew that no one would be coming or going into that room anytime soon. I didn't have an excuse to get out of Sean's way.

Unfortunately, he was also the manager of the club so I had to humor him even though I was bored with his nightly meetings.

"I also don't want to do this but you make me do this every night.

You give me no choice as well. Aren't you tired of doing this, Anabel?"

I hissed silently at him. Gosh, he was annoying with his leery smiles and looks. He was one of the reasons I hated that I was working at a strip club.

"No, Sean. Aren't you tired of doing this every night?"

"Are you sure you want to do this with me?"

I chuckled.

"Are we threatening each other now? You have seen that you can't cajole me and you think that I will be moved if you threaten me?"

He expelled a harsh breath. "Why would I threaten you?"

I nodded. "I'm glad that we have cleared that out of the way. I just wanted to remind you that you can't fire me if you have been thinking of doing that?"

He looked at me with a smirk on his face. "It seems someone is getting her ego growing."

I shrugged, not bothered by what he said. I wasn't going to be threatened into doing what I didn't want to do and made into being afraid when I didn't have to.

"She has the right to." I replied him."

He looked at me with his eyes wide in their sockets. "You do?"

I nodded. "Yes, I have the right to act like I'm a special employee in this club.

You can't act like we all don't know that I'm the dancer who takes in the most profits.

I'm an asset to the club and you can't sack me because of some personal differences.

I bet you would have a lot of explaining to the management and you don't want that."

He snorted.

"I'm tired of your pride, Anabel."

I laughed.

"What am I if not for my pride? A girl has got to take some pride in who and what she does."

I had heard a lot about Sean. He had slept with almost all the ladies in the club and that disgusted me. I was a dancer and not a prostitute.

I didn't know what made him think the ladies in the club were for his pleasure. He might have had the opportunity of being in bed with the other ladies because they were afraid of him but I wasn't going to be like that.

I wasn't going to stoop myself that low and I wasn't going to let anyone treat me as a slut.

He realized that I couldn't be swayed by threats and lowered his voice, his tone gentle as he spoke. I snorted. Maybe that was how he had gotten the email other girls. They could have been weak to resist him but I wasn't. I wasn't reluctant to fight for my respect even if others thought I didn't have one because of the work I did.

It was also possible that the other ladies wanted him but there was nothing that I wanted in Sean. He wasn't the kind of guy that I was attracted to. Not one bit.

"Anabel, come on." He began. "Just one date. That is all I ask for. I don't bite."

I snorted.

"But you would like to bite me afterwards."

His eyes sparkled as he understood what I meant and he grinned as he ran his eyes over my body. He was practically undressing me and I knew that. I acted like I didn't know to show that I wasn't bothered and interested in him one bit.

"Of course, baby. I would love to bite you in all the sweet places and make you moan all night."

I rolled my eyes.

I knew that was what he wanted and that was why I would never go out with him. He was going to move on to the next when he was done having what he wanted as if I was a trophy that he needed to have as an achievement.

"No, Sean. I'm never going out with you."

I heaved a sigh of relief as I saw the girls coming over and was glad that I would finally be able to escape.

He saw the girls coming over and hissed. "I will finally get to taste you, Anabel."

Ew. "You wish." I snorted and walked into the room, relieved that I would be finally get to rest after the night's job.

TWO

Anabel

I sat in the room, cleaning my makeup as I stared into the long mirror I was sharing with three other ladies who were doing the same.

I didn't dare take my makeup home like that, looking the way I was. That would be unless I wanted my grandmother to die early of an heart attack and I didn't want that. She was the only one I had left on this earth as family as I had lost both of my parents when I was five. She had been the only one left for me and I couldn't break her heart that way.

I had already removed my sultry white dress. I always wore white for my strip dance as it meant purity and I'd realized that it turned the men on watching me dance as provocatively as that in what was meant to be pure. I could have worn red to be a temptress or black and be a bad vixen but I didn't want that as I felt those colors were too common.

I wanted something different, a trademark that I would be known for and was glad when the management agreed to sew my own dress with a white material.

I changed into my usual attire of shirt and a pair of jeans. That was what I wore whenever I left the house and got back in.

Of course, she was concerned that I was working only at night but I had been able to convince her that I was a sales attendant at a twenty-four-hour convenience shop.

I had told her that it was far from home and she would only stress herself when she had said she wanted to follow me to work to see how it was.

She had agreed to stay back, considering her age and I had been so relieved. I had found a picture of a convenience store online and showed her, telling her that was where I worked and prayed that she believed me and didn't ask for more proof.

She had believed me and that was how everything got resolved. I was baby girl and I was sure that she didn't think I could have done anything wrong.

She was a believer of all that was good and wouldn't ever have assumed that her darling granddaughter would be dancing almost naked to feed the two of them.

She would die immediately and continue blaming herself even in the grave. I didn't want her to feel that bad. I loved her too much that I didn't want her feeling bad that she had failed me or did anything wrong in raising me.

That was why I had made sure the club I was working in was far from home. I didn't want to accidentally run into her on days she decided to take a stroll in the street and have her see me come out of a club.

It wasn't like I wanted to work at a club, dancing as a stripper and keeping secrets from my grandmother but that was the fastest way for me to make cool cash. I had applied to various companies after I was done with community college but I didn't get any job. The jobs were quickly snatched up by the bigger sharks with advanced degrees.

I couldn't sit still and do nothing as the bills were getting higher and freaking me out. It was a relief when I had found the job in this upscale club and it had promised me a hell lot of salary and bonuses that I couldn't have ever dreamed of.

The club had wealthy clients who were ready to splash money all around for their pleasure and the owner of the club didn't hold back from paying his employees well as well. He believed that happy employees provided better services and better services equaled satisfied clients and more money.

After learning of how much I could save and earn, I had quickly thrown away my shame and reluctance, jumping into my newly found life with vigor. I had been working and saving all these while and in a few years time, I was going to be rich enough to start my business and do something that I could boldly tell my grandmother that I was doing. I would be able to stop lying to her and do what would make her proud.

Asides the fat salary and bonuses, I got tips from the clients sent to me through the bouncers as they were leaving the club. Even though I gave the bouncers a percentage cut of the tips, the money was always still okay for me. I always had enough to sort out my bills with the tips from the clients and bonuses from the club that I didn't need to touch my salary.

I smiled as I thought of the huge dump of money resting in my account and growing.

"Is something funny?" Adaline, a colleague, said as she sat beside me, breaking into my thoughts.

I blinked and turned to her. I had totally zoned out of this room. "What?" I asked her.

"You were smiling." She said as if I didn't know that I was smiling. I was asking why she was bothered that I was smiling.

"I know."

"Lucky girl." She smiled and winked at me.

I frowned. What was that for? Did she come to work this evening with the intention to tease me?

"You seem confused." She said, noting the expression on my face.

"Of course, I am." I nodded, looking at her. "Do you care to explain why you are teasing me? It's too late for that."

Tonight was when we were meant to get our salary and that was why we were all waiting and not home yet.

If not, I would have been out of this club once I was done dancing. I hated to leave granny alone at home and it was only when I was with her that I felt my heart beating in peace. I worked in the morning at a bakery to keep myself busy during the day and then at night here.

Tongues would wag if the only time that I left home was in the night. Neighbors who were gossips would tell my grandmother that I was a prostitute and ruin her mood. I knew that I wasn't a prostitute but that was as close to it to my grandmother and she would be broken all the same.

That was why I had to work at a bakery in the day even though I didn't need the money and the stress and also lie to her that I worked in a convenience store till the late night shift to cover up for why I wasn't coming home by five in the evening like the children of the neighbors and getting home by twelve or latest by one.

"Didn't you see that guy who was looking at you while you were dancing on the pole?" Adaline asked, her black eyes twinkling with mischief.

I sighed. Not this, please. I had thought that I was done with thinking of that black sexy man when I had left the stage. I didn't want to be reminded of him and his allure.

Adaline thought she needed to jog my memory and supplied information that I didn't need. "The black man at the back of the club." She turned to the others who were already turning to her, eager to hear the story.

Nice. I sighed as I rolled my eyes. I was the topic for tonight and unfortunately, Adaline was a great storyteller. I wished Sean would come here quickly with our paychecks so I could leave here. It was getting uncomfortable with the way the other ladies were wagging their eyebrows at me as if I had won a jackpot.

I snorted. They knew that I was never going to sleep with a client so why were they acting like this?

Adaline continued. "He had his eyes all over her as she was dancing on the stage and didn't look at me at all as I was pouring his drink.

I could have walked away without pouring anything in his glass and he wouldn't have minded. I think he already undressed her on that stage. I know men go crazy when Anabel danced but this man is different.

I know desire when I see one. This man wants Anabel."

"Oh!" The others cheered, grinning at me.

Adaline turned to me. "Did you really not notice the man as you were dancing?" She asked. "It's hard to not notice that intense kind of look."

"I didn't." I shook my head and lied but my face gave me away.

Adaline snorted. "You saw him. Why are you lying that you didn't? You wouldn't be blushing if you didn't see him."

I sighed.

This face of mine that easily blushed would be the death of me. I couldn't even lie to save my life. I would be dead in an instant.

"I noticed him," I confessed at last. "but I don't think that he was looking at me with desire as you believe. He was only looking at me with lust as the other guys did in reaction to my provocative dance and his lust would pass. You don't have to make a big deal out of it."

She obviously didn't agree and was about to say something else when Sean walked in. I breathed in in relief and for the first time in days, I was happy to see Sean's face.

"Hello, ladies." He said in his usual way of greeting us when we were together. He glanced at me and I quickly glanced away before Adaline noticed his lusty look and started teasing me that I was lucky again to have the manager want me as well.

He handed over the paycheck to each of us and bid us a good night rest. The girls cheered as they stared at the fat envelope in their hands.

"Who wants to party tonight?" Mia asked. "I know a good club few blocks away."

"Yaay!" Some of the girls cheered.

"Are you going, Anabel?" Adeline asked.

What? And have them tease me all night if another man smiled at me in the club? No, I wasn't ready for that.

"Come on." Adaline whined. "It would be fun."

I nodded.

Of course I knew it would be but I still didn't want to go. I was thinking of an excuse to reject them when my phone rang and I hastily jumped at the rescue.

I picked the phone out of the bag and smiled as I glanced at the caller ID.

"I have to take this." I said to them, picked my bag and walked out of the room.

THREE

Anabel

I flagged down a taxi as soon as I was out of the club. I didn't need to check the address of where I was going as I had it in my head. I hadn't needed to pick the call either as there was only one thing that it could have meant: my presence was needed immediately.

I recited the address to the driver as I would say a memory verse and leaned back on the seat as he nodded and continued driving.

I didn't know how I felt as we got nearer to my destination. I was tired and would love to sleep and yet, I was eager to see the person who had called me out.

The way our relationship had started was weird but I no longer found it as such. didn't know how to explain it but it was beginning to be cool.

The taxi stopped and I paid the driver, breathing in hard as I stepped out of the car. I knew what was about to happen. It was almost the same thing that happened anytime that I was called over and yet, I was as nervous as the first day that I ran into him.

I breathed in and moved towards the house. I walked up the long staircase to the door. I didn't have to knock. It was unlocked already. I pressed my hand down on the knob and walked in.

He was there seated on an armchair facing the door and his eyes zoomed immediately on mine when he saw me.

"Welcome home, dear." He smiled at me.

I didn't respond and moved forward, walking towards him.

He might think that my place was home but it wasn't to me. Home was with my grandma where I would rather be at the moment but I was here against my wishes, called out by the agreement that I had signed.

"Won't you answer me, Anabel?" He asked.

I sighed. "I am tired and would rather have gone home."

"You should have told me that. This is why I want you to quit your job and stay here with me."

I snorted. As if I would stay at home and be his always available fuck maid.

He heard my snort and frowned.

"What is the problem? You know you can always tell me anything, Anabel."

I kept quiet.

As if that had worked the last time that I had tried it. The day I had told him I was tired, I had walked out of the club after my shift to see a car and a driver waiting for me to take me to his place.

I had learned that day that he was not to be argued with. He wanted what he wanted when he did and never made any compromise.

"Would you have listened?"

"I would." He stood, walked up to where I was and pulled me into his arms. "What do you think that I was?"

"My sugar daddy." I said without hesitation. I had met him at a party and he had asked me out. He had an allure that I liked and I had agreed to go out soon with him.

Even though he was older than I was and never promised me anything beyond pleasure in between the sheets, I didn't mind but I started to as time went on.

I craved more than what he had to offer me and I couldn't leave because of the contract I had signed, even though I loved the huge money I got from him.

I had made an agreement with him that I wasn't going to tell anyone of the relationship with me, I wasn't going to cheat on him and I wasn't going to break up with him without any tangible reason. If I wanted to leave the relationship, I had to draw up a contract to nullify our agreement or wait for two years.

I didn't think that I was ready to spend the money I was trying to save up on to start a business on a lawyer and have one know of the mess I had gotten myself into. I had just few months to two years and then I could tell him that I wanted to break up with him. I could wait for that even though I was tired of the form of relationship I had with him.

I didn't know exactly what type of relationship I wanted but I wanted more than I wanted at the moment. I had never had a relationship as I was busy studying and working to fend for me and my grandmother while I was growing up that I had never experienced what it felt to have a real relationship but deep down, I knew it was more than what I had at the moment.

I had lost my virginity to a boy on prom night just to not have my friends tease me and blend in with them but it wasn't about love.

"Ouch, Anabel." He winced and looked hurt.

"What else am I to call you?" I asked. "We are not exactly in a relationship."

"But we have something going on with us." He explained. "Saying that I'm your sugar daddy makes it sound as if I use you for your body and you want me for my money."

Wasn't that what it was? There was hardly a day that he called that we didn't have sex. I didn't think we had ever talked this long after my arrival. He was always waiting with his dick hard and aching for me that he took me the moment I stepped into the house.

We never walked out together, ate together or did anything couples do together except fuck our minds out when we saw each other and he thought that we were more than a sugar daddy and a sugar girl.

"It might not be like that but we aren't exactly a couple." I replied.

I sighed, knowing that what I was about to say wasn't going to be funny to him. I didn't know how else I was going to say it though.

"I want a break." I blurted out.

He looked at me for minutes like I was joking and he couldn't believe what I had just said to him. He blinked and it felt like the spell had been broken.

"Are you serious?" His voice was gruff as he spoke to me.

I nodded. "Yes. I don't want this to continue anymore."

"Sure?" He asked as if he was still finding it hard to believe what I had said.

"Yes, Quinn." I replied. I could tell that he was hurt.

His face flushed with his emotions and I was sad. I had thought that he would be angry and I could find ways to counter his anger but I hadn't been expecting his hurt.

"Anabel," he called softly, his voice broken. "Why are you breaking up with me?"

"I... I..." I couldn't even go on with what I wanted to say. How could I explain to him what I didn't understand myself?

He smiled, his green eyes twinkling at me. "I know. It's common for young people to get bored. Let's spice things up a bit."

"I..." I wanted to tell him that it wasn't about the bedroom but he interrupted me.

"I know how to chase that longing to leave me away. What if I told you that I like you, Anabel, and I'm not with you because I see you as someone to exercise my old groins? Would you still stay?"

Like? I wanted more than like. He continued. "Is it because I'm old?"

I snorted. "You talk as if you are old. You are only twenty years older than I was. I knew you were old before we started this."

"Then why are you changing your mind about us?" He grinned, flashing his teeth at me.

"Quinn, I'm not bored. I only want this to end. There is no future for us." There.

I breathed out in relief. I had finally said it. It felt good that I had finally summoned the courage to talk of what I wanted to him. I wanted to be a free woman, and not bound to a contract that I was no longer interested in.

He grinned. "What do you mean that there is no future for us?"

"Quinn, you know what I mean." I sighed.

"You don't know what you are talking about, baby. Tell me the future you want and I can make it come true."

"You can't. You stated it in the beginning that you can't give it."

He paused. "You want love?"

"Yes. Is it a crime to want that?" I sighed. I realized I was beginning to fall in love with Quinn or I wouldn't be talking of this. I didn't have any objections before and that was where the problem was.

He sighed. "We talked of this, Anabel."

"That doesn't mean that I can't change."

He sighed. "This is getting boring. Come here and I will put that fantasy out of your head." He said and pulled me closer.

I was about to argue but couldn't get the words out. I gasped as he pulled me closer, bent me over and yanked down my jeans all in a blink.

He palmed my ass in between his hands and pulled me to his crotch. My bare ass rubbed against the rough material of his trousers and I moaned, getting turned on. He did this for a while, fucking me through his clothes and I could feel the way his cock was getting bigger and straining through the fly of his jeans.

I moaned as he curved his hands around my mound and inserted his fingers into my core. He stroked me, his fingers hitting my clit and I began to shake in his arms, shuddering as I screamed out my pleasure.

He set me down on the couch and I turned on my back, watching as he unzipped his trousers and undressed till he had nothing on him anymore.

His groin was hard, thick and pulsing with life that I let out a groan as I licked my lips and forgot all that made me want to leave him.

He was good and had a way of turning me on that my brain turned to mush and my tired bones came to life.

"Oh! Quinn." I moaned as I watched him palm himself in his hand. He was stroking himself, knowing that I was watching and teasing me.

"What do you want?" He asked, his grin as naughty and devilish as it could be.

"You." I moaned.

"I thought you wanted to leave me." He reminded me.

I sighed. Come on, Quinn. Don't be a spoilsport. I should have known that I was going to suffer for this.

"I..."

"Tell me it was a mistake."

It wasn't but I was going to say anything about to get the release that I wanted. "Quinn, please!"

I practically begged him to fuck and stop teasing me.

He knelt down between my legs and pulled my hips up as he arched my back on the couch. I jolted off the couch as I felt the first dip of his tongue in me. He held me down with his hands; one on my hips curving them and clamping my hips to the couch and the other on my breasts, squeezing them and holding me firmly pressed to the ground as well.

This was fire. I moaned, arching and pushing my hips deeper into his mouth as he sucked and twirled his tongue around my clit. I wanted to explore. I was on fire.

"Don't you dare." He growled, his voice rumbling through my core.

"Oh!" I whimpered.

"I'm so close, Quinn." I wept.

"Endure it." He said even as he continued his sexual onslaught on my pussy.

"Oh! Fuck!" I groaned. "I can't." I screamed as I felt my toes curl and my spine tingling in pleasure.

He pulled me suddenly and slammed his penis into my core, burying himself all the way in. "Come for me, Anabel."

I screamed as I shattered all around him, knowing that he loved it when I came with him still pulsing inside of me. I breathed, my skin feeling tingly from the release I just had.

I was barely down from the clouds when he began to move inside me, pushing and thrusting in as hard and fast as he could. I moaned loudly, holding on to him as I moved my waist along with him.

I could sense his desperation and reluctance to let him go. I didn't want to let him go as well but I had to be honest with me. He couldn't give me what I wanted. I clung to him and rode the waves with him, wondering if he could sense that I was saying goodbye to him in a way.

I hoped I found a way to resolve this without hurting him and spending a dime on legal personalities as well.

I felt him stiffen and knew he was close. I was close as well and moaned as he thrust hard into me one final time and jetted his seeds into me. I screamed minutes later as I came, my core vibrating all around me and my legs shaking. I feared I would have fallen off the couch if he hadn't supported me with his hands.

He stood up seconds after I was a bit calm and walked off to the bathroom to wash himself off. I blinked back the tears in my eyes as I watched him walk away, wishing that he would stay here with me and hold me in his hands, cuddling me to his chest.

I snorted at my thoughts, wondering why I loved to fool myself. He never held me after fucking me and I didn't think that was about to change anytime soon.

I wondered how I could have fallen in love with a man like Quinn who didn't want me beyond my body though he argued that wasn't the case. I shrugged as I picked myself off the couch so I could clean myself up before going home.

It was what it was.