Malady volume 1

'Hmm, loving arms are waiting for me somewhere up on the hill or at the corner of the alley who knows when, that was the thought of her that day before everything happened later on, to change her entire life. Sai was not only a young, energetic or even spontaneous woman who lived with her parents, but a good breath of fresh air among the freshers for a start in anything. She was a local journalist of an online newspaper. A bit of a last runner in her career but she was completely okay with it.

Very social and charming little girl whoever saw her once they couldn't believe their eyes that she was a journalist who they thought a school girl or just a girl from neighbourhood.

I have to talk to him, how was he? Missing his soft voice messages on my phone. I met him in a spring festival. He was wondering around a book stall, checking every dark suspicious books, bargaining the price then accepting his failure of loss and moving on with another book stall. I was right behind him when he accidentally saw me standing there the whole time and watching his embarrassment. He got angry at me and yelled to me as if I was harassing him but no one was there to listen him because of all the festival noises. I was like a new kid, born that day infront of him and with all the abundant devotional curiosity trying to understand his problems. But who could make me understand what was his problem with me. Just an obedient pet following around him in the whole festival like an abandoned cat. I have no idea what was wrong with me that day but I did it anyway. He didn't noticed anything. I was following around him, just watching him, what was he doing alone in the festival, I was a columnist in an online newspaper, so everything is legal. When he saw me again then I introduced myself to him. He was surprised at first then I took him for a snacks and drinks, with his permission of course. I was little optimistic about these things. Then I learned he was an artist but his talent had no intention to be likeable by the common people but he was not frustrated at all, moreover he was highly enthusiastic about his unique talent. Why his paintings were unique because he only use five colours black, blue, red, white and green, he named himself augustine, even the name had a reason of itself but he wasn't prepared to share the whole story with me. From then to now we are a best friend. Everyday, we took a good morning walk together then breakfast then got back to our everyday jobs. It was okay at the start but he was lately feeling some kinds of uneasiness around me. I had no idea why probably falling in love with me, giggling to myself, it was funny at first then he started to create distance with me, I understood it was my que to leave him alone. I was in deep within him but he loved to ignore it as usual though I think he knows it, later on he started to explore his nearby forest for inspirations. Now, I don't know, I still keep missing him everyday, especially his cute little voice messages every now and then to alarm me not to fall in love instantly with him or anyone. Lately, he kept forgetting to leave any messages or hangout with me. Don't know why. Never took me to his place that I could even give him surprise visit. Pathetically sad love story that I am experiencing right now. I really wonder, why he is like that but I have no answer to get any solution of his problems.

I was working like a dog, keep missing his presence, doing my everyday lifestyle to enjoy the life with utmost respect and comfort in my budget but seems everything turning into nothingness. I was a good student like the scholarship type but didn't have that thing to win me one. Not that much of a popular either, so when I met another kind of me, I was instantly loved that. It is half past nine, I have to send him a voice message but before that I need a good bath, whole day was a headache on my ass. I had to attend the conference from my newspaper agency, new articles I have to study and write about, how bad it can be. Water is too cold needing a steamy shower, sulking at my utterance limits of real life and it's time for voice message before my bed. What should I say, it seemed an half a year but actually a week or more, should I say I love you or miss you, no, no, it might hurt his innocent ignorance, hmm, well, can't decide. With her thoughtful endeavours about him, wanting to send him a sweet voice message so he could run into her quickly to love her unconditionally, but the time slept away in her heart while holding her mobile on her bosom, it was a sound sleep indeed. One hand holding her mobile close to her bosom and another was above her. At exact 8 o'clock in the morning, a call wake her up, just before that she felt a simple touch of a hand on her other empty hand, as if it is never going to let her go, always going to stay with her, in his loving arms with safety and soundly secured, with his sweet voice, he was whispering in her ears, I will always be with you, probably he was going to say more but then the mobile rang, so, she took the call when a stranger asked her, is it Sai? She said yes. Then added do you know Augustine, he is founded dead in his room this morning, he was ill with high fever, just before his death, he left a message for us, I meant whoever founded him, he left a message for us to call you, the whole house is sealed by the government, because he was a loner, there was no one around him or beside him to take care of him and no one even knows about his illness but we took the liberty to receive his messages and a painting that was left for you, are you going to accept it? She was shocked stone, couldn't understand what to say to him, then with broken hazy voice, she said yes, I would like to accept his gift but could I see him? Then the guy stopped talking for a while and said no, because he was taken to the hospital as an specimen of a rare disease, it took a week to kill him and it might be outrageous for sharing any type of physical contacts with anyone, it was for your own safety madam, we will deliver to you his last gift and messages that were only meant for you. Then she said, nothing, just crying silently over the phone. The man spoke to her again then said, please send me your location to deliver your things then cut off the call.

He died a month or more before without saying a goodbye to her, she didn't touched anything that was send to her. Those things were left alone to her storeroom just like he left her without saying anything to her. She spoke to him a week before his death but he didn't say a word about his illness, nevertheless, not even shared his home address that she could take any kind of initiation to show her care for him. He was just a selfish arrogant man who was suffering from his psychological illness and later it cope up with physical one. She was completely awfully absurd by the thought of him, even feeling disturbed to herself for feeling bad and useless for him. It was all his fault to make her feel that way. Arrogant dog, always in a barking mood to anyone who accidentally even like him for a minute, jerk. It was good for the society that he died or a man like him who was such an unstable, unbalance, anti social, moody and poor guy was a dangerous disease as a man himself and moreover, he died on a rare high fever that everyone is unknown to it. Only he could harvest such a disease from the nature. She was soaked with frustration and sadness, unknowingly to herself, she went to her storeroom, unpacked his belongings that were left for her, a some sort of book or probably a diary that was larger than usual size, there he kept all those feelings that he could not say anything to her in small messages, his all failures in life, small sketches of her with him, his dreams with her that all he tried to draw there, ideas of various kinds of artwork that he couldn't stay long enough to finish and a painting of him with her, she was on her lap, both of them sharing intimacy, shyly giggling with each other that was never happened in real life. That was the first time when she saw his complete work of five colours. She couldn't resist it anymore the temptation of crying out loud in that gloomy storeroom that was witnessing her feelings which was completely unaware of her own ignorance of his deepest desires.

He seemed very cute this weekend. I wonder what is he doing right now. Feeling very naughty for him, he didn't give me any time. Just came to home, stayed all day long outside the house and slept away. No talking, no outing, nothing, just came to be seen as cute as hell and left me here to wait for him for the next weekend. I am his wife after all, he is allegedly liable to take my call in this busy hours. When I called him, he was not there, puffed up by his gentle unnoticeable behaviour, completely ignoring my presence, my bad, not in mood, probably.

Really missing him. Hmm, what can I do to compress my sudden unexpected love for him in the middle of the week, he doesn't like me to work for money, yeah, just a regular seminal jealous man of the society like others but not a suspicious minded, that's a relief. He is a divorce lawyer, working day and night for living the life he is dreaming of, on the contrary, I am the typical jealous woman who got married by his fanatical thoughts about me for some reason. Can't tell why he chose me to get married with, we didn't know each other from before our marriage. It just happened like that.

We met in one of our friend's wedding party. It was very controversial indeed to me, it makes me smile every now and then that a divorce lawyer fell in love on a wedding party though he is not going to admit his emotional defects as I may say because I still haven't found the reasons of his blindness of love about me. Me, on the other hand, just loved his straight forward thinking. I still remember it like a yesterday evening, he came to visit me in a stormy weather, soaking wet, shaking like a cat, said me if I had any time for him? I said, do you like to change your clothes to feel comfy, he said no I am okay, I just need your time. I was sitting on my indoor garden and enjoying the evening tea when he came to spend time with me, so I didn't hesitate to say yes. That day it was a very hot day of the summer, sudden storm from the weather depression made him suffer in vulnerable conditions because otherwise, he never going to came at that moment with his wet clothing.

He is a very shy guy, never saw to see anyone directly even if she is the most beautiful woman of the room. Awkwardly odd man, what makes him interested to anyone or anything, only he knows, I think, because of his profession, that can not makes him see anyone without suspicions, only me of course, I guess, out from his kindness. It still makes me giggle like a child in me that he is like that, just a simple sober guy with his mindful of him. I love that, I love that in him indeed. When I accepted his acquaintances with me, he was still shaking, I gave a large mug of cocoa coffee with marshmallows, pie, small little sandwiches and spicy biscuits and a towel to make him warmer and feel more comfortable. I saw appreciation in his eyes. But he was not accepted my suggestion of changing his clothing to bath robe, but only accepted the invitation to enjoy evening tea time with his coffee. I was hoping he was going to do that, it was in his nature, as shy as he ever could be. We talked about a lot of things, slowly, casually, not minding to spend our time with each other, no hurries, no one to answer to, just a sudden wild storm, windy weather and us in my garden. We were enjoying our togetherness, our tea and coffee at the end when suddenly he got calmer with his subtle voice he said, 'do you like my acquaintance every day like this', with smiling face I said 'yes, indeed why not, I have my tea every evening anyway, with you, it would be nice' then he said, 'I would like it very much as well', as if he was whispering to himself to make it believe that he could not feel lesser than being delightful. After that he gave me a simple little pale black box and said it was a gift for me, I must accept it with or without any reason because it was only for me then he left. When I opened the box, there was a very beautiful stones engraved ring, made of rosewood where agarwood and sandalwood made a beautifully engraved design with small colourful alexandrite stone embedded as the flowers and on the middle of the ring a diamond. I fell in love with that ring instantly. I never saw such a beautiful wooden ring that could be so gorgeous, it came with a small very bright white little envelope, a letter? I was guessing then, when I opened it, there was a tiny piece of card where it was shining brightly with scented glittery rose red ink, where laying a written secret, that made me more than feeling just a nice, it was a proposal, my marriage proposal with his own hand writing casually addressed to me, proposing me an idea or anyone could say thought of the day, asking me to be his companion, if I was okay with it. I was astonishingly surprised by the thought of getting married with him. I never thought of any marriage proposal could be so simple. It was my first that I ever came with my life long experiences as simpler and easier as ever it could be. Without knowing anything about me, he just proposed and I accepted it graciously as well without any hesitations. He was never mentioned me about it or gave me any kind of clue or sign of liking me even. I can still remember what was he written in that small card, 'let's get married '.

Yes, it had to happen in every single ladies life , once or more, whoever get lucky with more than once, I truly admire their personality. But in case of me, just like that, it happened. I never been with anyone like him probably that was the reason of my approval of him. Later on, we realized, we were actually in love for some unknown reasons, I am still nuisance to myself about this but yes, it is real. Nothing changed after our marriage, we are just a husband and wife with marriage license, that's all.

He has his own world to live with and I have my own comfort zone to tug in. Life is going smoothly till I am missing him these days very much. Why is he like that? Not feeling any kind of jealousy or uncertainty about me. Still blurry mind fill with absence of information about his mind settings. Sometimes, I really wish if he is an automotive synthetic humanoid or any kind of an artificial intelligence then it may be much more easier for me to understand him more precisely. Alas, if it happens but life is not that much easy to figure out like an algorithm. Sometimes cruelty of life really suspicious to me, why can't he live with me? Still working in the city, only on weekends he can give me his precious time, for what exactly? He has no time for me, not bagging to listen my nagging but still should care about losing me. I probably can in love with my neighbours or any long distant friends that still awaits. But I really wished to live with him not in my home, it can be our vocational or occasional house or place to hide from our clients. He has his own flats, more than one, of course, worked like a train dog whole of his life then get married with me, a house cat who have her own house and online career to play with. Not bad to spend our small life in this arrangement though but sometimes, it seemed he was running away from reality of some kind, still I have blurry eyes about him, like a blind dog sniffing around his smell of judgement then get confused and tired enough to get return, to my comfy bed, to sleep in, like a pet cat with a sigh that sounds 'meow', at the end of the lonely night.

It seems a month that I have not heard anything from him, both of my parents died at my young age since then I had to live alone in my house. Both of them died after settling my life or else it would be more harder for me to live as a career woman. After my graduation, my father helped me out with my online journalism. From then I am working for newspapers, magazines and advertisement companies whenever it comes as an opportunity I never hesitate to grab it. Later on, they died, I learnt to continue my life without depending on anyone, few friends are there and my beloved husband that I am not seeing for few weeks. Where is he anyway? I called him few times but only receiving his voice messages that he is busy with a case later he will talk about it. I am getting worried. Till I am not seeing him, I can not be still.

Where is she? I was too busy with my work that I couldn't take her calls for weeks. I have to be out of the city for a while. My recent clients were very rich, educated and good couple but at some point they needed a break from each other as they were thinking. 20 years of marriage and both of their wealth, children and their entire family, I had to go through all those little things about this divorce. At first I thought the divorce might not going to happen but I was wrong, both of them have their own lovers, might be bored with each others richness and good manners. Well, who am I to judge them, I have been compensated very generously for this divorce, in the meanwhile, I missed my darling wife a lot. I was really generously paid off by the nature, I have to admit or a wife like that who I only gave my time on the weekends, who still enjoying my company, it's really my ancestors blessings I must say. I have to explain her about my busy schedule of the last month or she will going to be upset. I was calling her from last night but she isn't taking my call or answering it. What happened to her? She is not like that. I have to take a break for a week and spend time with her or she will be frustrated about me. For some reason, I was experiencing for a months now, some kind of a pain in my chest, I hope it goes away by the time I reach to her or else I can't give her my fullest and she will be worried for me.

Next morning, today is a very lovely day to meet her, she will be surprised. I am visiting her not on the weekends but on the first day of the week. I bought lots of gifts for her and a surprise, I talked it out with her company and arranged her moving in with me to the city where I live. Weekends are not enough for us. I need her more than that. It seemed like a yesterday when I get married with her but it is more than three years, where was I on these three years. Too busy with both of our works and I didn't realised it till that last month without her. Too clumsy and bad as a lover, I already proved it to myself. I feel really shocked by my own poor sence of time, I should be more thoughtful about it. Giving her no time while I was working and she was not even said to me anything till now, never complained to me, never asked my extra time. How clumsy I am? I have to fill up those gaps somehow. I hope she loves the thought about moving in with me to my city.

It was a very beautiful day indeed for them to make each other more comfortable in love. They were missing each others companionship, thinking about each others every day. Furthermore, he was too excited for her moving in with him to the city but the only problem was the fate, it was not with him. She was not missing his calls intentionally, she was dead in sickness. She was suffering from an appendicitis that was neglected by her for years or more and it burst in her internally when she was on her sleep. Her servants took few days off from her but they took almost a week off for their personal problems, in those days her appendix burst on her sleep, for that she couldn't resist the death. Because no one was there to see her in her abnormality of sleeping disorders or sleeping for days, no one could have take care of her or noticed that she was not waking up from her sleep at all. So, when he called her it was already burst in her sleep as the doctors said to him that's why he founded her dead. Her husband just lost his mind when he founded her dead body on the bed where they spent hours on their weekends. They bought it for their marriage day and celebrated there. So many memories of her on his mind, so many could be created but their own negligence to each others health made the fate acted as the victim for them that ends their companionship of marriage there in that luxurious bed which was the very first gift that he gave it to her on her marriage day.

Why do you think, I am working so hard these days saying Meme to his secretary Kali. Kali is from Asia, an orphan, dark as the night itself. She began arguments about extra working hours that is given by Meme, her boss. She received the notice at first day of the week. New schedules for everyone. Small company of food delivery service. They only accept food delivery service in package order.

Three types of meals breakfast, lunch and dinner they provide to their customers of every class depending on their per day earrings, they can be a member of the company, after doing so, they will get their foods. It should be always on time the main motto of the company. Their foods are not that much exotic to get pleasure for lifetimes but it's for reducing daily burdens of any household life. Their boss doesn't like to make his own problem by wasting too much time on making expensive food items, he think it's the duty of restaurants or the customers personal choice to indulge themselves.

Furthermore, their company is a sole business. Everything of the company based on their boss's ability of willing to provide. Boss is a very adventurous person, he loves to do gardening, fishing in his own pond sometimes or nearby lakes of the park, likes to do mountain climbing by walks that's also in his neighbourhood, only one vehicle in his lifetime he ever bought that was his orange red two wheelers mountain bike though he could afford to buy a car but he loves mother nature too much and it even seems to him unnecessary. When his secretary learnt her boss is that much adventurous from then she was trying to find a job elsewhere because his utmost ambition is having his very own greenhouse garden that would be in an apartment building that he could not afford to do yet. It needs new land to build, his land is too small for a big greenhouse apartment building. He wants to plant all the herbs, nuts, fruits, vegetables, flowers and if he can, he would try tea and coffee plantation in an apartment, he is hoping to try even bonsai for large fruit trees. His dreams about plantation is very different from others. She doesn't mind about those things, she only thinking about rescuing herself from him. Only five of them running the business including the boss. Local food delivery service home or office doesn't matter, be the member, pay in advance or daily or on credit and eat. If any problems occurred then call the office and return the spoil food immediately, later it would not be accepted. Simple business, simple cooking and same old systematic work every day making Kali's life miserable and intolerable. Her boss, on the other hand living like an only swan in the lake swimming in every direction he wants but without leaving his area. Sometimes, she think of him as a man of a certain goal whenever she thinks like that then he goes in another directions.

Kali isn't came that day, her boss is worried about her, why doesn't she came? She didn't take any day off or send any messages on his phone about it. Then why? He is searching for her home address to send one of his employee to check her out, as he remembered that she is living in an orphanage where she is their rental guest, she ot that opportunity because she is an orphan too or else they don't like to serve as a local hotel.

He still could remember that day when she came to him for a job, she saw the advertisement on local job messages of her mobile. He recruited her on her determination. He needed someone who works for him without any excuses. She needed a job for money and that is what he needed in his employee. If she could not work then he could recruit another, it was not a problem for him, still it is not. He did realise that she needs a lover to secure her lonely life with happiness. He is a loner himself but it is a choice, none of those woman made out a man from him who needs a woman like any one of them. He was a hardworking man from his early age, he studied on botany and learnt cooking from his family. His mother was not good on cooking, everyday she had to suffer a lot about making everyday food for them. He and his father spent their life on boiled eggs, vegetables and meats, sometimes they ate frys with different kinds of sauces or chillies or herbs. Making curry was not her cup of tea. It was not that bad but they were more comfortable with fried and boiled foods. And they all had their own life so, nothing to be worried about. Both of his parents died normally because of age, first father then mother, only took a year to die. He didn't understand that both of his parents were so much in love with each other that not going to live their life without each other. When they both died in a year then he understood the friendship, bonding between them, companionship and that sacred love which still he hasn't felt. His mother was a housewife and father was a teacher of the kindergarten school and Meme was their only child. His parents probably didn't take a child more than him because they couldn't afford it. After he earned his master degree on botany, he was jobless and enjoying his freedom from slavery of study life when both of his parents died one after another, they were in connubial blissful confinement for their lifetime that ended with conjugal bed such laid in death.

Afterwards, he tried this local food supply business, serving people his own cooked meals and letting them feel more comfortable in their life, was and is, only reason behind all these hardships. It is his own localities, everyone is his own friends and known people, once in a while he has to handle a foreign stranger, later on they were also became his known person. He buried all his dreams in his parents graveyard when he had to keep himself unbroken. He never mentioned to his father or mother what was his ambition or aim or dream about or what he wanted from his life but he never thought about losing both of them at the same year. Those unexpected melancholy incidents made him a man as today. This orphan girl, Kali is a girl with lots of ambitious plans and ideas of life that she has never even seen before. He knew all about those ideas from her loud voice during lunch break. She is the owner of a loud voice that he is hoping someday it might be lower to soothe his ears. He understood that she wants to pursue her ambition and work somewhere else, so he contacted his friend who lives abroad. He knows him from his student life, free air far from abroad can make her life more happier and she is growing up, needs a man of her dreams and he or his friend are not the best one who can even think about a girl like her to wet their trees with water. She didn't study that much but wanting to become an activist of some sort which he thinks unnecessary because society has more than enough people who are opening their eyes every day to the new world and wanting to become the rarest person of the world that ever been seen by anyone then later on compromised to their reality dramatic life. So, many people killing their dreams, burying them every second, every minute and everyday that she is not even in counts because others have more than her but still being compromised or going to be compromised. Atleast, what he can do is send her to his friend who lives outside his small rural town, so she could enjoy her youthful life with people who are living their energetically adventurous ambitions with spontaneous relationships. But on the contrary, where is she? He send his boy to the orphan they said she didn't come to orphanage the last night, the orphanage thought she might be with them. Meme then become worried about her, he talks to the police about her missing and send his boys to look around for her. Then from the local police they get information about her dead body. They found it on the street dead last midnight when they examines the dead body, she overdosed herself with her medications and probably accidentally killed herself with two months pregnant baby on board. The hospital declares it is an accidental incident nothing to be accused as a suicidal case or murder. Meme then requests the police to find out who prescribe those medications to Kali. It happened to see that it was prescribed by none then from where did she found out about that medications because the doctor said it was not from here, that medicine was from the city.

The death of Kali stayed unresolved. The doctor claimed that the medicine was trade at the cheap price in the lower street market as a birth control pill. It was newly released drugs that got highly popular within a week on to the street vendors as a best selling medicines that had no side effects because it was herbal. Later on, the side effects started to show, people who bought the medication not everyone died simultaneously but they had different types of situations to face. Some lost the abilities to take a child, some died within few days, some had to go through miscarriages later, all situations were dependents on the consumption rate of the clients of the medicine. She was taken it several times within two days that's why it killed her. Doctor said it could be more worsen but her body chose to die. Her death on the street made the local hospital and pharmacies alert subsequently it was the latest talk of the town, a great juicy news for the journalist as a new phenomenon to write about, later on the seriousness of the situation went through the government officials to make the police seized the medicine at once on the very sight of it, arrest those whoever was selling the medicine and do all the necessary work they needed to complete the investigation.

Meanwhile, Meme was too upset by the thought that she had a boyfriend at that early age, only 14 years old, too early for a young flower to withered, she was having an affair with someone without informing anyone of them, that was the main heartbreaking moment for him, she was like a little kid to them. When he knew everything about the medicine, he and his friends helped their best to ease the investigation but no one had any idea or news who was her lover. Even after controlling the whole situation, Meme can not think otherwise besides thinking its an illness of a mind of that person whoever gave that medication of birth control on the first place from street vendors, how could he take that kind of a risk with a child like her, can anyone answer that? What kind of a man do that to a young girl he fell in love with? If he is not suffering from any psychological disorders or diseases of any kind then what was it? Only if Kali could said Meme about her lover then she might be alive by now. Every dreams of her, getting married with a charming young man, having lots of kids in her own house, living in urbanization, doing adventures, enjoying the life at her fullest, working as an activist all of her dreams are buried with her in the bottom of the graveyard and Meme even couldn't give her the surprise that he made arrangements for her dreams before her death. His anguish over the reality of the situation, no one could've guessed, some people thought it was him who did that to her for hiding the shame of his unconscious behaviour which made him lost his control. All of his reputations are in the air of the town floating like a rumour but it doesn't affected him a bit because he knows that he was a good guy and so was she.