Lustful Surrender (Sequel to Take me, I am yours)

With a feeling of ecstasy, I opened my eyes yearning to cuddle Sean whom I thought was beside me, only to find his side of the bed empty.

Then it dawned on me what had happened yesterday with my heart beating twice as fast, what the fuck did I do?! I'm a mess, I'm a fucking mess! With my heavy head and broken heart, tears broke out the side of my eyes.

How do I salvage this situation, what is the solution to this heavy burden I'm carrying? I had to decide between Sean's offer of taking a stand or just letting life play things out, honestly i'm confused. He wants us to have both freedom and also wants to be sure it's just him alone but it doesn't feel right.

It's like saying our marriage doesn't matter, but it does. I despise this situation, hate what they've done to me by giving me love, resulting in three broken hearts and a messed-up situation. I wonder how this can ever be fixed. Walking away from one feels like killing the other, and it's a painful choice I have to make, even though I don't want to.

Tears start falling, and crying seems to be all I do. Whenever I find happiness, something comes along to destroy it. I resent them both for causing this, yet I can't help but love them. The whole situation is messed up, and right now, I can't see a way out.

The door opens, but I don't want to look up. I can't bear to see Sean's pain, his hurt, his anger. He's my Master, my husband, but at this moment, I'm unsure if any of that still holds true.

How did I get here? Sean and I were doing well, despite our fair share of issues. I love being his submissive. Then, he introduced Steve, a friend, into our lives. Steve is truly amazing, but the problem is he fell in love with me, and unknowingly, I fell for him too. Yesterday marked the breaking point, where everything came together and fell apart at the same time.

I pushed Steve away when he kissed me, not wanting to hurt Sean. But when Sean told me that Steve was leaving and moving out, I felt heartbroken. Sean left us to say goodbye, and the thought of never seeing Steve again hurt so much. We couldn't stop ourselves, sleeping together for the first time without Sean's permission, and I officially cheated.

I thought Sean would hate me, but he doesn't. He blames himself for bringing Steve into the situation. What am I going to do about this whole thing? I have the option of having them both, staying married to Sean, still being his submissive, with Steve involved as much as I want him to be. But that doesn't feel right to me. I don't want Steve to leave either.

Sean is still standing at the door, waiting for me to respond. Reluctantly raising my head, I look at him. My heart shatters seeing his pain and hurt. I feel like I've done something evil. How can I do this to him?

"Come on babes, let's talk"

Looking at him I can't, I physically can't there is too much there, I feel like I am drowning in thoughts, memories, and everything else, their pain, my heartbreak, everything.

I can't ask him to take me to the playroom, we have the girls, so I can't drink, how do people deal with this daily?

How do they manage to get through the pain and find an escape to those thoughts? With Kyle, I just locked myself away for months and months till they left me alone, I can't do that now, I am a mum, yet there is no other way either.

"I can't, I just can't Sean" My head drops, his body walking towards me, how can he still be so nice to me?

"Okay, we don't talk, I want to punish you for sleeping with Steve, for fucking him without me saying, maybe after that, you can talk. Go get ready"

Looking up at him, I am not sure what to do, does he mean it? I have no issues with him punishing me, I just don't want him doing this to help me rather than it be a punishment.

" Move it now, I will be in the room in three minutes"

He walked away, and as I stared at the vacant space where he stood, I couldn't bring myself to refuse. The entire experience would serve multiple purposes-it would lead me to my subspace, offering a few precious minutes of respite from my overwhelming thoughts. Simultaneously, it would act as a necessary punishment, a step he deemed essential for us to move forward.

Stepping off the bed, and making my way slowly to the playroom, Steve emerged from his room. Pausing for a moment, I looked at him, witnessing the pain etched on his face. I felt a sense of reluctance, making it difficult to utter any words. It just felt wrong. Walking past him, I reached the playroom, opened the door, and glanced back. He was still standing there, gazing at me.

Turning my head, I entered the room and proceeded to undress. Once completely naked, I retrieved the blindfold and knelt on the floor, anticipating the punishment I believed I deserved. He disliked punishing me; he rarely did it, given his aversion to the act. The creaking of the door signaled his arrival, and his hands clasped mine, lifting me and guiding me across the room.

My hands were secured with furry metal cuffs, raised above my head by his firm grip. "I am going to give you six whips; you will count with me. I won't hold back, so be prepared to use the safe word," he declared. A slight snicker escaped my lips; he always claimed not to hold back, yet he invariably did. I had never experienced his whips intensely.

"As you wish, Daddy," I replied, standing and waiting. The sound of the whip being wielded in the air reached my ears. The initial sting was sharp, prompting me to jump on my toes while biting my lip in an attempt to stifle any screams.

"Count," his low growl reminded me that I had forgotten to do so.

"One," I said, waiting for the next strike. The sound of the whip cutting through the air made my body tense, preparing for the ensuing sting. Screams escaped my lips as the pain intensified.

"Two," he announced. It was evident he wasn't holding back, and for the first time, I understood why he refrained from hitting me at intensely.

As the stroke of the whip hits my ass, it made me scream because it was painful, it stung like hell. As the next one hit my ass I screamed louder, I couldn't help it.

"Three" I was numb at this point, there was nothing to think about but pain. Again and again, I screamed, stroke after stroke till it felt like I couldn't take it anymore, the pain was unbearable, as I could feel the cuts from the whip, yet I begged him before not to hold back, now I knew why he did.

"Peach!" I screamed so loud because it hurt so much and I was not expecting it to. As I heard the sound of the whip hitting the floor, I jumped as his hands released mine. He carried me to the bed with my mind free, the pain, heartache, memories all gone, I couldn't think nor talk, i was completely numb. He wiped my butt cheek with a cloth and applied some disinfectant to the bruise.

"I'm getting some ice; I'll be right back," he announced before stepping out. Lying on my stomach, the idea of him touching my ass filled me with apprehension. He returned, sitting beside me and gently placing ice packs on my sore behind. The coldness seared through, and I winced from the pain. His hand traced soothing strokes along my back, a stark contrast to the discomfort.

"Alright, now you can talk," he said in a low, quiet voice.

"Do you want to talk to me alone, or would you rather Steve be here as well?" His question seemed perplexing; resolving this issue should involve just the two of us, without Steve.

"Just you," I replied, awaiting his next question, the pain dulled by the numbing effect of the ice.

"Okay, so what do you want, Lisa?" I knew what I wanted; it was a straightforward answer.

"I want things to go back to how they were. I want us to be married, with me as your submissive. I just don't want Steve to leave and never be involved again. I don't want him to be my partner or anything; I just don't want to lose him." Silence followed, so I continued.

"I don't think I love Steve like you. In my mind, he's somewhat like my Dom, just not exactly one, if that makes sense. When I think of him, I don't envision connecting with him like I do with you. I see him more like when you're in your Dom space, authoritative. That's how I see Steve." My words prompted a change in his posture.

"You love him like a Dom, not like a couple, a partner, or a husband. What if you're not just my submissive? What if you're his as well, Lisa? I can discuss how it would work, but that's something I'm okay with. Rather than the thought of you two making love, I can see it like any other D/s relationship. Yes, you love each other, but not like ours; it's more like a traditional D/s relationship."

It seemed like a reasonable proposal, yet it still felt uneasy. However, it was a better alternative than trying to label it as a conventional relationship. I didn't want to share Steve's bed or his love; I just wanted him.

"Is that even a thing and possible? How would it even work" The thought, though relaxes my mind, if it can work that would be amazing.

"Let's talk tonight, with Steve once the girls are in bed, we should be getting up you have work soon" He removed the ice, his hand putting bandages onto it to cover the cuts.

"I am sorry for hurting you Lisa, I don't like punishing you at all" turning to face him for the first time I smile.

"As painful as it was, it helped, my minds still free and I now know why you wouldn't hit me full force, I know why you refused to not hold back, so I won't keep pushing for you to" He laughs at my response, I am not sure why it was so funny.

"I know kitten, I will see you downstairs" His lips pressing against mine before he got up walking out.

I feel awful how can he be so nice, sure he's partly to blame for me loving Steve but not for me sleeping with him, I don't feel like that punishment was enough, I should have forced myself to take all six whips.

Getting dressed I walk downstairs, Sean sat with the girls, walking into the kitchen I begin cooking, watching him walk over to me, his arms wrapping around me, his lips against my neck.

"I still love you, we're still together and married, so don't be afraid of touching me, please kitten, if we can't be like we were, that would hurt more then you walking away"

Turning to face him, I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him to me, kissing him, why do I feel like I have not kissed him in ages, my breathing is hitched, my heart racing.

"Calm down kitten" He pulls back, kissing my forehead.

"Okay, the first rule, you can't both call me kitten, you two can sort that out yourselves, but it doesn't feel right anymore"

It doesn't, and it needs to change.

"Okay, Kitten" I burst out laughing at his response.

"Sorry, old habits die hard and all that" He turned to walk back to the girls, finishing cooking I plate it up, placing the five plates at the table, Sean walks over, looking confused.

"Oh, as you said old habits die hard, I'm used to cooking his breakfast" picking up the plate that is for Steve I put it on the side.

"I was thinking" Sean's voice quiet I look up at him as I sit.

"Well, you have in a way been his submissive already, you have served him his food, cooked for him, cleaned him up after the crash. You have been like his sub in so many ways already"

Thinking about it I have, I haven't exactly been his submissive in a sense he tells me what to do or chooses when we play, but I do treat him like my Dom, I look after him as much as Sean outside the bedroom.

I know full well if Steve asked or told me to do something I would. If he was authoritative enough like Sean after the crash I know I would have listened to him and gone to the hospital, but he didn't, sitting here eating it feels weird without Steve and his jokes, something I may have to get used to.

"What do you want to do before work?"

Sean's question has me thinking, what should we do? It is just me him and the girls.

"Decorate, I mean it's nearly Christmas and it doesn't look like it" It's not a bad idea and considering it's now less than two weeks till the big day, we should have a tree up at least.

"Well, we need a tree, I prefer real ones, so something we need to order, we can either go to a place or order online and have it delivered tomorrow?" His question an easy answer.

"Order online, I think a day just us here with the girls will be nice" It would be nice to escape the world today, just us no one else.

"Sounds good, let's cuddle on the sofa and watch kid's films, they are the best after all" laughing at him, I nod in agreement he can be a big kid at times.

Grabbing Isabella out of her chair and standing her on the floor she walks off into the living room, me, Sean and Katie following.

Lying on the sofa we cuddle watching the film, as it gets near the end, I realise I need to leave for work soon, I would rather just stay here with him though, things feel normal and right now it is perfect.

The door opens, looking up expecting it to be Steve I see Beatrice instead, she walks towards the living room, opening the door she looks at me.

"We need to spend some girl time together today, so we'd be going to work together, come on, get up! " Nodding, I sit up, Sean gives me a warm hug while pecking my neck.

"Tell her everything, I know I say you shouldn't but you have to talk to someone, so please do."

His whisper is quiet so she can't hear. I walk out following Beatrice, my heart breaking looking back at him and the girls, driving there we stay quiet, neither of us knowing what to do or say, the whole thing is a mess.

how do we even start this conversation? Getting in the office, we sit down, putting the blinds down so everyone knows not to interrupt if it is an emergency.

"Right, so let's talk, just say it all Lisa, any order talk" Looking at her I know I need to, I need to get this out there to help me move on.

"I love Sean, I love him as my husband, as my Dom as my partner, as my kid's father, the first time with Steve was a shock, I said no but then I agreed, Sean seems to enjoy seeing me with other men, the second time was just me and Steve, Sean was there, but he didn't get involved, after Steve had played, Sean did while Steve watched"

Looking at her she was shocked, I had not even gotten to the best part yet.

"Don't judge, and certainly don't call Sean names, I agreed, I enjoyed it, it is not like he forced me. Anyway, there was the time we were going into the room to play, and his phone rang, he sent me up to be ready, and kneeling there with the blindfold on he came in and played, it was quick, then walked out, taking off the blindfold Sean had messaged me saying he had sent Steve in his place, again I had no issues with it"

"There was the time with me, Sean, Steve, and Vladimir, amazing, I agreed, had I said at any moment, stop because I didn't feel comfortable it would have stopped, but I did enjoy it"

"The issue honestly is Steve, somehow he fell in love with me, real love and while I love him back it is more like I love him as Dom, a play partner, not a life partner" She stayed quiet looking at me.

"Okay, first, I have to, sorry I do, Who was bigger, Steve or Sean's?" Laughing so hard at her question, really, of all the things she asks that?

"I don't know, I didn't measure them, if I were to guess I would say Steve, but then I would say Sean's is thicker so both equal the same, sort of, now can we get off the subject of whose was bigger please"

Still laughing at her question, she helped, and the question helped, it made me laugh and relax a bit.

"Okay, so the conclusion? What are you doing?" I don't know, I still don't know.

"Well, Last night the option was that we carry on as we are, and if I want to sleep with Steve I can, it would be like we were together, but I am still married to Sean" Her eyes widened.

"Don't worry, even I said that feels weird" Quickly added so she didn't freak out.

"Good Lisa, because that right there is just not right, so what now?" She looks at me waiting.

"Well, we came to the conclusion, I love Steve but not like a partner, I love him like he is my Dom, so the other option is I am his submissive along with Sean's, it is possible to have two Dom but even that feels weird, but if I don't try I won't know right?" She rolled her eyes at my response.

"You can't just have one how guy can you, you have to go and take two, well three if you add Vladmir" She laughed, then her face got all serious.

"Vladimir, the guy who did your tattoos? When did that happen, and why?" Beatrice's incredulous question prompted me to reveal more.

"Yes, Vladimir, the one who did my tattoos. I don't know; he came to the house to do a tattoo. I have a fetish for them, and I guess that's what sparked Sean's idea. The tattoo gun used without ink was incredible," I explained, noticing the shock on Beatrice's face. Maybe sharing everything wasn't the best idea?

"This is just crazy, too much, and messed up. I don't understand why Sean would do all this if he loves me," I mused, trying to process the bewildering situation.

"Because he loves you, Lisa. Have you not noticed everything you've said? Everything he's done is to please you, to fulfill your fantasies, not his. Even now, he's still trying to please you, agreeing to Steve's involvement," Beatrice pointed out, offering a perspective that made me ponder.

Sitting there, processing her words, it was like a light bulb switched on. I realized she was right.

"You're right, Beatrice. He didn't do it for himself. He did all of this for me, to let me experience everything I wanted and loved. He risked losing me to give me what I desired. Even now, he's willing to share me, just so I can get what I want. I need to go home," I declared, standing up and gathering my things. Beatrice looked at me, still confused.

"Can you watch over everything, please? Susie will be here later. Please, Beatrice," I pleaded. She nodded and hugged me.

"Of course, I will," she assured me as I rushed out to the car, quickly texting Sean before setting off.

"Drop the kids off with your mum, then straight home. I need to talk to you."

Driving home, my mind was screaming at me for being so foolish. All those times Sean engaged in activities in the playroom, he claimed to enjoy them, but it was always for my satisfaction, not his own. Every punishment, every scenario- all of it was meticulously crafted to fulfill my desires, even the punishing morning session.

Walking through the door, Sean stood waiting. I rushed to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, kissing his lips passionately. His hands eagerly pulled me close, and my moans escaped between kisses.

"I don't want Steve; I just want you. I don't want anyone else in the room but you. I can't believe I never realized it before. Everything you did was for me, not for yourself. That punishment this morning- it was for me, not you. I'm doing this for you. I am choosing right now. No Steve. I can live without him. I cannot live without you, Sean," I confessed.

However, his face showed hurt and pain. Following his gaze, I noticed Steve standing there, flooding me with a wave of mixed emotions. I felt awful. Steve walked out, and I hurriedly followed him, stopping him by the car.

"I'm sorry. You were right. I will never leave Sean for you. That doesn't mean I don't love you, but not enough, Steve. I am sorry, I really am," I explained, torn between emotions.

"This is killing me, but I can't hurt Sean anymore. I can't do it."

"I know, Lisa. I knew all along you would choose him, whether now or in five years. You would choose him," Steve said, raising his hand to stroke my face and kissing me gently.

"I will see you from time to time, but I packed all my stuff and moved it out last night. I was just coming back to say goodbye. I couldn't make you choose. I was going to walk away and save you the choice," he revealed, his words torturing me with the depth of his love.

As he drove off, tears filled my eyes, and I felt Sean's arms wrapping around me. Leaning my head back against him, I whispered, "Sorry, Kitten. I didn't know he had come in. When I realized, it was too late."

Even in this moment, he continued to think of me, apologizing sincerely. Turning to face him, I looked into his eyes, my voice stern.

"Stop, right now. Stop apologizing, stop blaming yourself, and stop trying to give me everything, even if it means risking me. Take something for yourself for a change, Sean. You're bottoming from the top here. Sort yourself out," I instructed, my words, though cold and hard, filled with love. Sean stood there, assessing me.

"I mean it. I have never seen the real you. I have never seen or witnessed just what you want and need. You make everything about me. I am smart enough to know that a D/s relationship is not all about one person but both. I want you to take what you need and want for a change, not give me everything I want," I demanded.

He stayed quiet, his eyes looking at me. A smile gradually spread across his face.

"You asked for it." Sean's arms wrapped around me, and he carried me into the house, going straight upstairs into the playroom. Setting me down on my feet, he looked at me.

"Strip, blindfold now!"

His order, low yet authoritative, made my heart race. Sean walked over to the other side of the room, turning on the music. Piece by piece, my clothes fell to the ground, and with the blindfold on, I knelt down, palms facing down on my lap, waiting for him. My breathing quickened as I waited for what I wanted.

Hearing him move, I sensed him in front of me. His hands slowly stroked over my shoulders, down to my arms. When he reached my hands, he lifted them, placing them on him. His trousers were now leather, and a moan escaped my lips at the feel.

"Rules, Kitten. There are rules," he stated, his voice low and seductive.

"Okay, Sir," I replied, kneeling and eagerly awaiting his instructions. My hands couldn't help but explore his legs and the leather.

"You can't cum. Every time you're close, I want you to say 'Blue.' Just in case you decide to use 'Yellow' for a change. Understand?"

My heart raced at the anticipation of what was coming. "Understood, Sir. I'll say 'Blue' every time I'm on the edge."