Lucius

*This chapter contains mature themes, explicit language, and graphic content. Reader discretion is advised*

BANG!, BANG!, BANG!!

"Open the freaking door, Lana". That voice, it still sent shivers down my spine. It was something I heard each night but I could never stop being frightened more by it each day.

BANG!, BANG!!, BANG!!!, BANG!!!

"Sweetie, daddy just wants to chat with you, won't you open the door?" That voice, it was so appalling.

"Please baby daddy loves you...."

"Please stop!!"

"Open the door Lana"

Retch, I threw up. Why are you doing this to me?

BANG! BANG!!

"STOP IT!! IF YOU DON'T STOP RIGHT NOW, I'M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE..."

"Lana... you know what will happen...they won't believe you, they'll only judge you" I knew that all too well, the last time I called the police, he gave them a medical report which said I was paranoiac and had an unstable mind and the officers after just a few words from Mr. Langston sent me back to this hell.

"YOU MONSTER!!"'

I sat at the corner of the bathroom clutching my legs and chanting soothing words in my head continuously. This is something I've endured for six years

This nightmare began when I was seven years old, I got adopted by a young couple, Mr. and Mrs. Langston, and they looked so cheerful and caring. I was happy that I was chosen by them. The first four years with them I was really happy. They treated me like I was truly theirs. I almost forgot I was an abandoned child...well....almost.

Everything started changing when my foster dad came back on a rainy day with bruises and dirt on his body. He was accused of selling his company's project information to a rival company. He was beaten up, disgraced and fired without defending himself. It was obvious it was a setup.

At that time, my mom ran a small café, she comforted my dad and told him they could work something out and went on and on about the law of karma. After trying so many times to get a job and failing, my dad slowly began to change, he began to yell over almost everything, my mom then decided to hire a salesgirl to run the café since we had to move to another neighborhood. Dad had decided to sell the house to gather some money, mom got a job at a hospital as a nurse. And then my nightmare started. The first time my mom had a night shift, I was in my room drying my hair, and then my father opened the door, he stood there for a while just staring at me. So I went closer and held his hand and softly asked

"Dad, is there a problem, did I do something wrong?"

He silently held my hands and took me to the bed then placed me on his lap, then he said,

"I love you angel"

"I love you too daddy". I smiled and hugged him,

"Then baby if you love daddy, will you do as I say?"

"Yes daddy" I nodded smiling, not realising that I was going to regret every word I said that day.

"Let daddy show you, give me your hand", he took my hand and he unzipped his pants then used my hand to rub his manhood. I pulled back my hand and moved away from him.

"Dad, what are you trying to do?"

"Sweetheart, calm down daddy just wants to love you, you should love daddy too, come here......".He stood up, walking towards me.

Each step forward he took, I took one back till of course, I reached the wall and he loomed over me with a creepy smile spread on his face.

"D..D...dad wha-what are you doing? please stay away, I don't like this"

"Shhh...sweetie you'll enjoy this, just listen to dad okay?"

"No...No...No dad please leave". When I looked into his eyes that night, I knew it was just the beginning, I screamed, begged, struggled, bled a lot but he didn't stop. It was a lonely neighborhood after all so no one showed up to help. He left me when I'd passed out.

The next morning, I woke up with a fever, I couldn't say anything, I couldn't move and everything was blurry. My mother took a leave from work and took care of me for a few days. The way she looked at me from time to time made me realize that she knew what happened but she didn't do anything, she just acted oblivious and went on like nothing happened.

The night before she was to resume working, I went to see her in her room, he (foster dad) had gone out for drinks with his friends.

"Mom...." I intently stared at her to see her expressions.

"Mm...Yes Lana what is it?" She answered not looking away from the upside down book in her hands.

"He raped me, dad raped me, he came into my room and......"

Pa! My cheeks were aching, she'd just slapped me, and she was shivering when I looked up at her with tears in her eyes.

"Shut up...just...s...shut up, he would never, he loves me, he w...would never do that", she stood still then looked at me.

"You'll have to leave when you're done with high school, you'll completely leave my house, y..You're a demon, a temptress, he'd never, h..he loves me, he's a kind person, he'd never" she screamed. I knew she was trying hard to believe what she was saying but deep down we both knew this would forever remain fresh in our memories.

"Mom please I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, d...don't abandon me I love you mom please" I begged while holding onto her leg like it was my last string of survival. Where would I go?

"Leave my room", her voice, at that moment it had a chilly calmness to it, I sensed danger looming so I gradually stood up and left the room.

I couldn't sleep that night, I'd never thought that I'll be left alone in this way. I cried my eyes out till I got too weak to cry.

The following night, my mom left for her shift. I locked my room door and decided to sleep early, praying he won't show up. A few hours into my sleep, I heard a slow but loud knock followed by his voice.

"Sweetie, open the door for daddy, c'mon" I shivered, I knew he was going to come back again, for the past week he had this look in his eyes, anytime he saw me he'd smile and mouth the words "I love you". It was suffocating.

Well, that night he broke the door knob, came into my room and defiled me. It became continuous, each time I saw my mom I carefully mentioned my spoilt doorknob but she barely said anything.

It'll be two weeks before the summer break is over and I'll be in my senior year in high school meaning soon I'd have to fend for myself. I had good grades in school so I started working towards a scholarship program. I planned to go to NYU it was 11 hours away from our place in Kentucky. It was far and I loved it. I didn't plan on seeing any of the Langstons ever again, I just had to hold on till then.

I'd fixed my doorknob a year ago and installed three huge locks so he'd not been able to touch me since but he never gave up. Each night he'd always return repeating his nauseating words, trying to break the door open. Then after some hours he'd leave. I never slept in peace because I knew soon the door won't be strong enough to hold him back. He was obsessed so he'd find a way to break it open soon.......

I never really had friends since I started schooling. Boys irritated me and the girls thought I was deformed because I always wore oversized hoodies and never looked at anyone directly, I was really sociophobic. Anytime, a guy spoke to me I shivered and threw up, the one girl that had tried to talk me thought I was a stuck up bitch cause I hardly replied whenever she spoke to me, everyone avoided me like a plague. Even the bullies, which I didn't complain about.

After the summer break ended, I returned to school. I decided to meet the principal after school to find out the requirements for scholarship at NYU. She was the only one in the school that had seen my full face, the day I got admitted into the school, she had insisted I looked directly at her while talking.

The day went by normally, had my classes, ate my lunch in the girl's toilet, then went through the rest of my classes. After the final class, I went to the principal's office and knocked on the door.

"Who's that? Come in". I went in, she was looking through some files while motioning for me to sit.

"Give me a minute, I need to find something" she said not looking up. After a while, she picked out a file and returned the rest to her drawer before looking up.

"Ah Miss Langston, what brings you to my office?"

That name, I could never allow anyone call me by that name anymore.

"I came to find out the requirements for getting a scholarship in NYU, ma'am"

"Hmmm...NYU...okay.....let me take a look at your files first". She went over to the cabinets and scanned through the files till she stopped and brought out mine.

"Okay...let's see....mmm.... well.....your grades are good enough and your extracurricular activities are not that bad. All you need to add is participation in a club or two preferably the drama club or the debate club and that'll will probably be all you need".

"Drama or debate?" well shit....that was going to be quite difficult.

"Is there any other club I could join, any other one at all?"

My hands were shaking, this was something I couldn't do, I can't stand or even make a full sentence in front of a crowd and I don't want anybody touching me.

None of the options seemed better.

"Miss Langston...."

"Lana...ma'am, call me Lana"

"Lana don't you think it's time you stop staying hidden in that shell you put around yourself, I've been watching you and you're a really brilliant student if you could just socialize a little and associate with your classmates that'll be very lovely".

She'd never understand, it's not that I didn't want friends, my mind and body weren't ready to accept anyone yet.

"I understand Thank you ma'am, good day".

I heard her sigh as I stood up and left.

I decided I'd join the debate club and just be a substitute, at least I won't have to participate except an emergency comes up and hopefully none will. The club members never really discussed anything other than our schedules and topics. Nobody bothered talking to me and I liked it.Time passed and of course prom was drawing closer meaning graduation was also near which also meant I'd be free soon.

I'd been working part-time at a cafe and night shifts and a grocery store and some weekends doing deliveries.

The hard work didn't seem bad because I had made up my mind to leave everything behind and completely start over.

The night shifts kept me away from home, away from him. Everything was going well and it frightened me, I felt like something might eventually pop up and destroy everything I was working towards.

But nothing came up, my scholarship application got accepted, I didn't attend the prom, of course, I graduated as the valedictorian but I refused to give a speech, some girl gave in my place.

Months later, the day I had to leave arrived.

I packed the new clothes I had bought few weeks ago and took everything that was significant to me, everything they bought me I left behind. I had also gotten a fairly used car, it was a black Volvo. I packed up everything, Mr. Langston was nowhere to be seen. My mom had dropped an envelope with some cash in it on my dresser before leaving for work. I put it in her wardrobe, I had already sworn not to take anything related to this city or the Langston's with me.

I only had myself from now on. With that in mind, I entered the car sparing no glance to the house I'd grown up in and zoomed off to begin my own journey.....

Looking back, I never imagined I'd be living in New York City, much less attending college here. But here I am. All by myself.

Hopefully, it won't be so bad. Sigh. Time to go find my flat and settle down I'm exhausted. Tomorrow is a whole new day that'll be the birth of a new Lana.

I drove towards the address I'd got few weeks back, the road was filled with people chattering and laughing. I'd intentionally asked for a bustling neighborhood to be on the safe side.

I finally reached the gate that had g55 written on it,

"This is it, Lana. Your first step in your rebirth, let's not mess up the first impression".

Saying that repeatedly in my head, I turned the doorknob and stepped in, my heart beating anxiously.

"OMG! There you are, Lana right?" A red haired girl walked towards me grinning widely.

"Uh...y..Yes my name is Lana, Ni..nice to meet you"

"Aww... Such a shy one, well cute Lana, my name is aurora, I'm a sophomore". She had a nice name and a bubbly character and her smiles were really beautiful. Her red hair accentuated her red lips, her brown eyes were shiny and naïve. I could guess she was a pampered princess from a rich family. I liked her but... I still couldn't properly make a sentence without stuttering.

"Alright, Lana your bed is the one at the right side, you look exhausted, do you need my help unpacking?"

I fiddled with the handle of my bag and muttered a reply, "Uh...I...no...uhm thank you, I'm good". She tilted her head while staring at me smiling.

"You're really shy, huh?". I scratched my hair, intentionally pulling my hoodie lower. I knew she'll think I'm weird.

"Yes, I'm a...... bit shy, y....you don't like me?"

"No I like you because from what I've seen you're making an effort and that is really sweet, I read people really well you know and it seems you're trying to break out of your shell, so sweet Lana don't worry, I got you covered, I'm going to help you find your inner sass, now let's get you settled in". She winked at me then helped me unpack.

That night, I was exhausted but I couldn't sleep. Aurora had left after she got a phone call. I had finally left my shackles behind and now I hoped that those shackles won't hinder my path forward. I was happy I had a nice flat mate and maybe a new friend and I was scared I'd ruin the friendship before it even develops. I also needed to find a part-time job. Sigh. Now, my new life kicks off.

With that thought in mind, I closed my eyes and soon drifted to sleep. I woke up the next morning feeling energetic. It's been years since I slept for more than an hour without nightmares.

At some point in the night, it seemed aurora had returned, she was sprawled across her bed snoring. Her shoes were still on, I helped her remove them then took off her earrings and bracelets then laid her properly on her bed. I decided to make some omelet rolls for breakfast. So I got to work. I had my first class at noon so I had time to spare.

It took a few minutes and then I was done, I ate, put some in a microwave for aurora and left her a note.

I took a shower, got dressed and left for class. I had already mastered the school map so I got to the class hall with no issues.

My first class of the day was ECON 101, I was majoring in English. I sat at the back and brought out my notebook, then two identical looking girl and boy came over to sit next to me. The boy sat next to me and his sister next to him. I jolted up and looked at them. Before moving to another row that had two girls seated there. It seems I still had a strong fear for the opposite sex. I looked back and saw them staring at me gloomily, I turned back lowering my head and started scribbling on my notebook.

The professor came in few minutes later,

"sorry I'm late everyone, good afternoon I'm professor miller and welcome to ECON 101, this might be the most important class you take here so I expect everyone here to closely pay attention and benefit from the 24 years career I had on wall street, now let's begin".

Time flew by and soon my classes ended and I returned to my room,

"Oh Lana you done for the day? thanks for breakfast and the honey tea you left, you're my angel". I smiled.

"It's... It's n...no problem"

"Omg!! I knew you were beautiful but your smile my god, really angelic. Aww is pretty Lana blushing, it's the truth dear, and you're really pretty, when we bring out the spicy side of you, careful even I might fall for you". This girl... I hadn't even dropped my bag.

"I suck at the kitchen, it's so nice to have a roomie that can cook, and I'm a foodie just so you know". I smiled again, it had been so long since someone made me genuinely smile.

"Noted" I said then went to take a shower, when I came out she was putting on her stereo.

"Let's listen to some music, Lana, what type of music do you listen to?"

"Mostly Billie Eilish, a little bit of Lana Del Rey, Sasha Sloan, Olivia Rodriguez, Tate McRae too"

"You don't listen to pop music, BTS? Justin Bieber? cardi B, Nicki minaj?"

"No I....."

"Wait do you realize what just happened?"

"What?"

"You spoke a whole sentence to me without stuttering, that's amazing, you're getting comfortable with me now, right?"

I smiled, I guess I was getting comfortable with her, I don't think anyone wouldn't.

She squealed and hugged me.

"Lana baby, do you have any class tomorrow?"

"I don't think so, why do you ask?"

"Let's go shopping together"

"I'm sorry I can't". She pouted.

"Why?"

"I haven't found a part-time job, I don't really have money to go shopping"

"Your parents don't send you any allowance?"

"I don't have parents"

"Oh... I'm sorry"

"It's fine"

"Okay forget about that, bills on me"

"I'm sorry I can't accept that"

"Again? Why?"

"I don't like freeloading off people"

"Well I'm not just anyone, I'm your friend, if you refuse one more time I'll feel really hurt, and do you want to hurt your friend?"

I sighed.

"Fine I'll go, I'll find a way to pay you back though"

"Yeah yeah, I'm starving, dear house wife what are you going to feed this hungry foodie?"

The next day, we went shopping. Aurora kept on picking different clothes and making me try them on.

We bought so many clothes, we bought shoes, bags, underwear and accessories. She said anytime she saw my boring closet, her eyes were bleeding from how dull it was. I felt really bad because I knew I won't wear any of the things she has bought me. My body was too ugly to show any part of it.

Finally, we got back to our room. After arranging everything, our stomachs were taking turns grumbling. So I decided to cook something.

When I got the receipt of everything we'd bought I almost had a nosebleed. She might end up being the death of me.

I'd start repaying her first with a nice meal.

I decided to cook grilled chicken and veggie salad. I cooked, we ate and finally slept off while talking about random stuff.