Lovely Secret And Lies.

"I love you,' he says. Before I could say a word, he gently held my face and kissed me on my lips.

"I love you as well.' When he pulled away from the kiss, I responded. His eyes were filled with sadness and love. What went wrong, and why do I feel like this is the last time I was going to see him? He sighed as he rested his brow on my head.

"What is it, Haru?' Something is wrong, I inquired. It's there in my bones and I can feel it.

He was weird today.

"There isn't anything, Johan.' He smiled sadly at me. Why do I feel like there's something I'm supposed to know?"

"Are you sure, because your face shows you're worried?' I cupped my hands around his face and looked him in the eyes. "Tell me, what's wrong, is there anything I can do to help?'

"Whenever you look at me like that, Johan, it turns me on.' He said this while still smiling at me.

"Don't try to change the subject, Haru, what's the matter?' I know him well, and when he's like this, he always tries to change the topic and say something else. I'm having a bad feeling about this.

"Can we...discuss this later?' he asked, staring at me. 'Please.' He begged me to listen to him.

I'm pretty sure he will tell me when the time is right, but I still want him to depend on me. After all, I love him from the bottom of my heart.

I love him and I will do anything to be the person he wants me to be and make us work.

I nodded in agreement. 'Okay." We began walking silently down the road. Then he asked, 'How is your mother doing now?'

We kept walking, and then I said. "She's fine, it's just...,' I hesitated. Then I shook my head to clear my mind of any negative thoughts. 'I can only hope for the best, she's getting married?' I informed him casually, like it was no big deal.

'What?' he asked, surprised. 'I'm not sure, but why are you telling me this now?' He stated.

"I could have told you, but you were too busy. I didn't want to bother you and cause a diversion.' I elaborated.

"It's not a diversion. It's good news, Johan,' he laughed as he tapped me on the shoulder, then frowned at me.

"Yeah." I muttered.

"I've been meaning to ask, what about your father?"

I stared at his lovely eyes and turned to my feet as I strolled. "He left before my younger sister, Elsa, was born." I answered.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked." He apologized.

"You don't need to, he was a complete jerk and to this day, I don't know why he left and Mom wouldn't tell me, she keeps saying he did some sort of faggot stuff and warned me never to talk about him again." I elaborated, my gaze darted towards the sky.

"You don't seem happy, do you?' He inquired. "About your mother's marriage."

I turned to face him and said. "I'm content; at the very least, she has found happiness in her life, it's been years, like ever since I was born, I've ever seen such a happy smile. So, I hope her marriage will last, however...,' I lowered my gaze to the ground, both hands in my pockets.

"However, what?' He inquired, perplexed.

"I don't like the man, something about him doesn't feel right.' I stated.

"Have you discussed this with your mother?' He raised a question.

"I did, but she just said, 'Don't worry, Johan. He's a very nice man, and once you get to know him, you will like him. she says.'' I mimicked my mother's voice and rolled my eyes like hers. 'Stop laughing, Haru,' I exclaimed when I noticed he had begun laughing.

"She's seriously such a lovesick fool,' I groaned.

"Hey, don't talk about your mother that way,' he said, but as soon as he said it. He burst out laughing again and collapsed on the ground. What's so funny that he's laughing so hard?

"Haru, stop laughing.' I said. 'Come on, what's the big deal?' When I saw that he wasn't stopping, I became irritated and began walking away, leaving him to laugh his head off. But I liked how he was chuckling.

It made me happy because he had been moody for a while, but seeing him laugh now chills me with excitement.

"Wait a minute?' He yelled and dashed after me. 'You didn't have to leave like that, babe,' he said, still gasping for air. 'And you didn't have to laugh so hard that you couldn't stop laughing.' I grumbled, pretending that what he was doing was bothering me.

"Come on, you were so amusing, cute, with that face you were making that I didn't have a choice. I couldn't stop myself, you know,' he admitted, still holding back his chuckle.

I sighed, what could I do, he would still laugh, better to let him be.

"It's getting late; could you please escort me home?' I studied.

"No problem, babe,' he said with a smile.

He kissed me and wished me a good night after escorting me home.

"Do you know how much I love you, babe?' Why was he hugging me, he whispered in my hair. 'Always and forever remember, Johan, that I will never stop loving you?' He hugged me so tightly as if it were the last time I'd ever see him.

"I love you as well, Haru, and I will remember that forever.' I said this while kissing him on the neck. I still have a bad feeling about this. He said we could talk later, but perhaps I should just give him some time to tell me about it.

After that, he waved at me and exited through my gate, which I had closed.

My life begins.

Johan Williams is my name. I'm seventeen years old, with a younger sister and a best friend named Jack. I've always been who I am.

My other best friend's name is Ava, and my girlfriend's name is Charlotte. These are people who meant a lot to me before I met Haru.

Okay, I understand what you're thinking. I'm a fucking worthless cheater. That I am deserving of death right now.

I'm a scumbag, a faggot and a two-timer.

You could be calling me a bunch of names right now, but hear me out and this isn't really my life, my fault, sometimes you get carried away by emotions and stuff, it still doesn't justify what I did, but hear me out.

Yes, Charlotte is my girlfriend. She has always been there for me. We met in kindergarten, went through middle school, and then high school together, and Jack was a part of it all. We first met Ava when we were in high school together. She was always on her own and did things her way. She had no friends, but participating in club activities or sports brought us together because she was good at them and always taught me how to do them.

And that's when we became friends, like best friends, and that's when Charlotte and Ava reconciled their feud because Charlotte suspected me of cheating on her with Ava. So, once the misunderstanding was resolved. Despite this, they all became best friends, including Jack and me. Every day, including Sundays, we had a good time. We're having a good time as a group of four. But there are times when I feel something is missing, both in me and in Charlotte. Our relationship was peaceful and calm, but something was missing, and I couldn't figure out what it was.

But everything was fine, going smoothly, our life was damn perfect, until I met Haru.

On Monday morning, when we first arrived at school. We noticed people giggling and whispering to one another, when we arrived at the classroom.

I saw a glamorous boy. Yes, I will call him lovely because he was so totally gorgeous, stunning. For a brief moment, I was moved. I've never felt this strongly about anyone before. This feeling was strong, and I just stared at him, as if struck by love.

"Hi.' He smiled cheerfully, and then everyone burst inside the classroom, surrounding him and asking him a slew of questions.

He was treated as if he were a celebrity. Even Ava approached him to get a better look at him, as did my girlfriend, requesting for an autograph.

"Charlotte is cheating on you, look at how attractive he looks, sooner or later, she will be his.' Jack teased with a smirk, leaning on my shoulder, watching me for my reaction.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course, I know she's not cheating on me, she's just a fan.' I stressed, hoping for him to get off my ear.

I know Charlotte isn't like that, just because she's my girlfriend, doesn't mean she can't cheer up for another guy and be normal.

She's human, not a property.

"Are you sure?' He emphasized with a smirk.

"Leave me alone, Jack.' I announced.

He was like a foreigner in America, so it was unusual to meet someone like this. I discovered he was Japanese. That's why I noticed his accent was different. Jack and I just stood at the front of the classroom, watching what was going on.

I also found out that his name is Haru. He was six point nine feet tall, with blonde hair falling down his eyes, light brown eyes, kind of muscular, white smooth skin and red lips. His eyelashes were a bit long though. He was pretty, for a boy. I don't know what is wrong with me nowadays, I tried to block out these sexual stupid thoughts about him.

Yet he's so freaking hot. I shook my head. *No, he's a guy and not a girl Johan* I told myself repeatedly.

My heart and body, on the other hand, were not listening. We were talking before I knew it, and Jack, being the social type to throw a party, invited him.

He agreed.

The following day, around 8 p.m, we arrived at the party. He was present and engaged in conversation with the others. Jack abandoned me and went in search of some girl, while Ava was talking to some guy I had no idea about, and Charlotte decided to use the restroom. I was walking down the hall when I noticed someone pulling me towards the darkness. And kissed me, the person's mouth was so warm. Then I remembered that I was kissing someone I didn't know. And I pushed the person away to see who it was. It was Haru, I noticed. And he was fucking drunk, and that kiss felt incredible. His lips and cheeks were both flushed as he staggered and leaned on the wall.

"Suck me, son of a bitch.' He mumbled.

Who was he taking to? Me? Son of a bitch?

"Isn't that how you guys say it here in America?" He chuckled.

His voice was so good to hear, like I could record it and listen to it for hours and hours.

I love it and he was amazing, the best person I have ever seen in my life.

Yeah, he was great.

"I don't know what came over me, if it was the alcohol I tasted or drank but I leaned forward and kissed him.

Damn, his lips were so soft and addictive.

The Next Day...

I'm not sure where the others are; I can't believe they skipped class without me. I began strolling towards the canteen to see if any of them was present.

Someone suddenly drew me back, and we both went into the chemistry class. He locked the door while I was dusting my arm that had been touched by his hand. Who could this person be? He was wearing a black jacket and a hoodie, so I couldn't see him.

Who was he? A kidnapper? Goodness me, who would think of abducting me, I'm not someone important, am I?

I asked. "What the hell is going on here....'

He took off his hoodie and peered at me at that point.

"Haru, what are you doing here?' I interrogated, my curiosity piqued.

"You were the one I kissed last night at the party, right?' He said this while glancing at me.

Huh!!

"Wha...t ... the hell... a...are you talking about,' I stuttered.

Why am I stuttering? Why did he say it out loud, out of nowhere? I'm not sure what he's up to; is this a joke or a game?

Kissing? He remembered that part.

Damn.

"I know what I'm saying, what I saw, you kissed me last night. You quickly shoved me away when your girlfriend approached?' he said.

I was taken aback by the way he spoke. Is he concerned about it all, shit, he is definitely going to say that I'm a freak.

"That's ridiculous. Isn't it revolting to you? I mean, who the hell comes up to his fellow guy one morning and says, "I kissed you while I was drunk? How come it makes no sense to me?' I said this while putting my hands in the pockets of my black trouser.

Charlotte indeed came to us, glad I wasn't caught or else I would have been in hell of trouble. I had to run away from Haru, stay in a corner till the party was over before we all went home but that night I couldn't sleep, his lips kept me from sleeping and all I could think about were, his damn body.

I'm genuinely acting as if I have no idea what he's talking about. Yes, I understand what he's talking about, but admitting it to him is embarrassing. I have to remain vigilant to keep track of what he's up to; I can't trust him. I'm not sure if he's recording stuff or not, so I have to be cautious and he's into girls and not guys.

How do I get out of this mess that I've gotten myself into?

"You are correct. But don't you remember how passionately I kissed you?' He said that with a smile on his face.

How passionately he kissed me, was he drunk?

He's very attractive. *Johan, snap out of it. Always remember that he's a guy* I thought.

"I think you're insane, please excuse me.' I walked past him on my way to the door. He nudged me towards the door and kissed me on the lips. Oh, my goodness. I couldn't help myself. The kiss was fantastic. He continued to kiss me, and before I knew it, he was carrying me up and placing me at the head of the table. We kissed and moaned incessantly. When he unbuttoned my sleeve and began kissing my chest, I had no idea. Then he came to a halt and peered at me, his lips flushed.

"I had no idea you could kiss that way?' He murmured this while licking his lips.

"I was...carried away for a moment,' I confessed, blushing. What happened to me, what's the matter with me? I'm not sure how I could have let him kiss me like that. Why?

As I stepped down from the table and began walking towards the door, I pushed him away from me and began buttoning my sleeve.

"This isn't the first time you've kissed a guy, is it and you have a girlfriend?" He gave me a friendly smile, it was more like a statement than a question.

How in the world did he know that, I am fucking perplexed.

I inquired, "How did you know that?" I was supposed to deny it, not confirming his statement.

I've kissed a guy before, but I've never told anyone about it. Jack is completely unaware of it too.

This is unbelievable.

"You kissed me all the way through. It was almost as though you were starving for it,' he gushed. 'Or, to put it another way, you've been waiting for it to happen, and it appears that you're gay but want it disguised.' He expressed his thoughts.

Through a kiss, he discovered that. He is insane.

"Please don't say anything like that, I don't know what you are talking about.'

"Do you want to keep denying it or are you still not sure that you're gay?' He questioned.

I wasn't sure of myself; I'd never considered myself to be gay, to begin with.

'I'm aware that you require my services. I see it, and you have a hard boner?' He had lust in his eyes and stared at my boner.

"Haru, stop this, just leave me alone, I'm not interested,' I asserted, using my hands to demonstrate my point. I covered my groin with my other hand. I didn't realize how obvious it was going to be.

'And Johan, to answer your questions, indeed, I've always been gay all my life, you can deny it all you want, I don't give a damn about you being into dicks."' He said confidently, his arms crossed across his chest.

"You can't be serious,' I murmured, turning my back on him. It was a distraction to be staring at him right now. Why will a lady's man, like him be gay?

"I am,' he said as if he could read my thoughts. "And I know you are gay or maybe bisexual,' He shook his head sideways and continued to smile. And he just concluded, why is he telling me all this?

I was embarrassed, I've been trying so hard to hide it from anyone, even take it to my grave and a stranger finds that out without getting close to me. Even the people close to me didn't even take a hint.

"Just shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up, and don't pretend like you know who I am,' I yelled angrily. I hurried out of the chemistry lab after opening the door. I don't want to see him again, how did he know that? What a blunder! Because he attends the same high school as me, I must do everything possible to avoid him. *This isn't the first time you've kissed a guy, is it?' As I continued to run, I shook my head. Those words, he said to me, triggered memories I don't want to revisit. Not now, and not ever. I regretted what I had done, I don't want to ever remember those memories.

I dashed to the canteen, knowing that everyone would have returned to class by now. As a result, it will be empty. I needed to be alone to think. Why was he doing this to me? Tears streamed down my face. I bury my head in the table, hoping no one will notice.