I WAS in the middle of writing the minutes of our meeting in the student council when suddenly, I heard Prescilla, one of the student council members, flirting with his boyfriend, Vincent, who isn't a part of any organizations here in the university.
"Baby, I love you so much... and you know that right?" said Prescilla in her most sweet, seductive tone, which I found annoying, especially in the situation we're in right now.
"Of course, baby... I know. I know it more than everyone," answered Vincent, his tone low.
I turned my head due to curiosity, but I froze when I saw them... kissing. Prescilla was sitting on Vince's lap, facing him, and straddling him. Vincent, on the other hand, groaned hard while his hand traveled onto Prescilla's legs.
Seriously, are they doing this here?
"Sapphire Jade Miller," Evangeline, our student council president, called me. "Are you even listening? Don't forget that your role here is to write the minutes. Without that, this meeting will be in vain," she added, her tone intimidating.
Evangeline is known as one of the students with beauty and brains at the University. She is approachable, although people say that she really has a rude temper. But when it comes to me... she was different.
It was like my very own existence irked her.
Maybe it was because I wasn't as rich as everyone here. I only had the privilege to study here because of my academic scholarship. It needed a lot of work, though, given that I needed to render hours being a student assistant to make up for the tuition fee.
"I'm listening, and I'm taking down notes," I answered before showing her the paper. I didn't just write down what was on her whiteboard; I also noted everything she said verbally. "You can check it now if you want."
"Hmm..." Evangeline raised an eyebrow before scanning my notes. "It was messy. How can we understand this if it's messy? This is the only thing you should do, yet you can't do it properly?"
"I will organize it once I transfer the notes to the word file, president," I answered, my tone subtly sarcastic when I addressed her position. "Don't worry. Although I'm poor and no one can accept that I'm studying here, I'm doing my best at my job."
Evangeline gritted her teeth as she gave me a deadly glare. I didn't mind her and just shrugged before taking down notes again. All of them could study here because of their money, while I study here because of my intelligence.
So, who had the upper hand here? Me.
"Tch." That was all Evangeline could say. Serves her right. She underestimates me too much.
She hated me for a reason I didn't know, yet she imitated my natural curly hair a few months ago.
Too bad, she can't.
Evangeline continued the meeting after that, while I continued writing. She hated the fact that I was using a pen and paper in meetings, but she couldn't scold me about it. As long as I do my job right, everything will be fine.
"Let's meet again next week to discuss our progress on freshman week. I'll let the secretary know the date and time so she can disseminate it to you..." Evangeline looked at me and scoffed. "Meeting adjourned."
I sighed in relief.
It's finally over. I can go home at last. It's exhausting to deal with people who don't like me just because of my freakin' social status. It was because of my father's gambling debt. I hate him.
'But once I graduate, they won't be able to look down on me like this anymore. Just two more years... and I'll be able to stand up for myself,' I repeated like a chant at the back of my mind before leaving the student council room.
"FRESHMAN week is such a pain in the ass," I muttered while in front of the laptop in the school library, transferring the notes to the Word file. "
Freshmen Week is a program designed for freshmen to enjoy their stay at the school before professors start piling on assignments, reports, and final projects. It's like a farewell party before someone leaves, or a celebration meant to make you happy for a moment before the real pain begins.
They may be happy in the beginning, but in the following weeks, they'll be crying from the workload. They'll experience the frustration of doing everything they can to study and pass, only to find out after the exams that their efforts weren't enough.
As a third-year accountancy student, I can relate to this dilemma. That feeling of having done everything to study, but still feeling unprepared when taking exams.
But despite all the hardships, I still managed to make it. One more year, I'll achieve what I've been striving for.
Graduation. A bachelor's degree.
Freedom.
"Done. Fuck it," I groaned and stretched my back, before calling Evangeline. "I already sent the minutes to your email. Kindly check it, thanks."
"Why do you need to call-"
Before she could even finish her sentence, I ended the call. Why would I bother anyway? She'll just rant about why I called her instead of texting.
Does she hate me so much that she doesn't even want to hear my voice? I haven't done anything wrong to her. I haven't done anything wrong to anyone, but the way they judge me in this school, it seems like I'm a criminal.
I shrugged off my thoughts before leaving the library. It doesn't matter.
I looked at the clock and saw that it was already nine o'clock in the evening. I love the cold and dark atmosphere, giving me an unusual chill yet peace.
Enduring the cold, I continued walking while holding the strap of my black backpack. But I stopped when the wind blew my short blue checkered skirt, almost revealing my shorts.
"F.uck," I hissed and quickly adjusted my skirt.
But I stopped when I heard a whistle from the side.
I turned to look, only to see Ash looking at me with an intense gaze. He was wearing the boys' uniform: a white blouse and blue slacks. The top two buttons were undone, revealing his undershirt.
He paired it with black leather shoes, a black Jansport backpack, and... wait, how dare he smoke on school premises?
"Do you want to say something, Miss Student Council Secretary?" he asked, raising an eyebrow before taking another drag from his cigarette.
I froze, debating whether to call him out or not.
My responsibility as a student council secretary is to reprimand and report rule-breakers like him to the guidance. But at the same time, I'm afraid of him.
It's because he's much more influential than Evangeline, my classmates, or anyone else in this school.
Ash Cassius Coleman, the son of one of the owners of this university, and the one I should avoid at all costs.
"Nothing," I answered.
"Hmm..." He smirked. His eyes darkened as his gaze moved from my face... to my lips... to my legs, which were now fully exposed because of the sudden gusts of wind.
Despite the annoyance, I continued walking. I shouldn't be talking to him like this. If other girls saw me talking to him, it might just create more issues and complicate my life.
And I don't want that.
"Good choice, baby," I heard him say as I walked away from him. "Good choice."
ASH is not just rich and influential, but he's also a hot mess. A seductive hot mess. Many girls are infatuated with him, probably because of his good looks and charm, which I can't deny. He had that black curly hair and eyes that could penetrate someone's soul.
Guys like him don't know how to love. They just know how to f.uck and switch girls as if they were changing clothes. I've never seen him get serious with any girl. He often targets quiet girls, ensnaring them with his charm, only to leave them once he gets bored.
Is it because he's rich? Handsome? Freakin' influential? Is he so bored with his life that he gets a thrill out of making girls cry and playing with their hearts?
"What a ruthless jerk," I muttered while walking back home. "But as long as he doesn't bother me, everything will be fine."
Our conversation earlier should be the first and last. I don't want to be associated with him further. I
He's a bad influence on everyone. He's making good girls go bad.
However, I am not a good girl either.
"LOOKS like you're coming home late every day now," my dad said to me the moment I stepped into our house.
I had literally just set foot inside the door. I hadn't even put my left foot down yet, but there he was in front of me, his hand on his hips, scolding me.
"There's just a lot to do at school," I answered as I removed my two-inch black shoes and socks. "I'm not doing anything wrong if that's what you're thinking."
Despite my anger toward him, I still showed my respect. But the question is, does he really deserve it? Respect is earned, not given. He doesn't even deserve the politeness I'm showing him right now.
After all the horrible things he's done, I don't know how I still manage to face him, and I don't understand how he can scold me now, after everything that happened four years ago.
I went straight to my room to change clothes. My uniform was drenched in sweat, and I felt grimy.
"How long will you be like this with me, Sapphire?" Even though I couldn't see my dad, I could hear the sadness in his voice.
A sadness that will never remove the barrier in my heart.
"How long will I be like this?" I asked my dad as I came out of my room. "As long as you're here, Dad." Even though I didn't want to, I suddenly gave him a sharp look while tightly gripping my clothes. "As long as you're here..."
"What an ungrateful child!" he shouted, and before I knew it, he slapped me, hard.
I could feel the pain in my right cheek, and even though I wanted to touch it, I didn't. Instead, I tightened my grip on my uniform.
I will never show him that he can hurt me. I am no longer the Sapphire who cried to him four years ago.
"I-I thought you loved us..." I said, sobbing as I faced my father, who looked at me without any emotion. "But... but why did you betray Mom?"
I am no longer that girl.
"Is it because of your scholarship that you've become so disrespectful?! You wouldn't have achieved that without me! You are ungrateful!"
Despite the pain I was feeling, I gave him a very sweet smile. This was how my dad used to manipulate us. It was with this smile that he captured both my mom's and my heart.
Mama thought he was a good husband, while I thought he was someone I could look up to. I idolized him since I was a child because I believed he was kind, helpful, and caring.
But he's not. He's a monster-Someone who ruined our lives.
"You're right. Absolutely right," I replied. "The reason I'm in this situation is because of you. You're right, so even though I'm exhausted, I have to juggle my studies and work because of you. Why? Because of your debt, which was for my college expenses, yet you used it for gambling."
While at school, I needed to restrain myself to maintain a peaceful school life, but here at home, I'm different. I'll say what I want to say. I'll do what I want to do. He's not worth my patience.
He wasn't able to respond, so I took that opportunity to walk out of the house to cool my head somehow. I'm curious about where Mom is because she's not at home, but for now, I need to focus on myself.
I need some fresh air.
As I walked, I allowed my feet to lead me wherever they may. Lost in thought, I realize how far I've come, and I'm not sure where I am.
"What place is this?" I asked myself as I surveyed the surroundings.
My eyes widen as I realize I'm in a place with a water fountain in the center, surrounded by numerous trees. The place looks beautiful. It's serene yet peaceful at the same time. I'm in paradise.
A paradise with a demon.
"Ash," I softly call out to him as I see the demon leaning against one of the big trees, watching me.
His stare was intense as if he wanted to communicate with me through his gaze, but no matter how much I tried to decipher it, I couldn't figure out what he wanted to convey to me with his look.
His gaze grew darker with every passing second.
What am I doing here in the Devil's den, with the Devil itself in front of me?
"What are you doing here?" Ash asked me in a serious tone before raising his right eyebrow.
He was still wearing the same clothes... his uniform unbuttoned and his pants. He held the cigarette in his mouth with his right hand while his left hand was in his pocket. His posture screamed dominance as if warning me that I shouldn't be there and I should leave because he was present.
"I don't know," I answered honestly as I glanced around at the surroundings.
Even though it was just in my peripheral vision, I saw him smirk when he noticed what I did.
"You don't know?" He grinned before leaning back against the tree. His eyes, full of lust, were burning. I knew that was always on this guy's mind, and of course, this moment wasn't an exception. "You're walking without knowing where you're going?"
"I won't try to make you believe in me, Ash Cassius," I answered in a cold tone.
What I said earlier was true. Maybe I was overthinking to the point where I didn't even know where my feet were taking me.
And it led me to him.
"Hmm..." he hummed before his gaze went to my breast.
I wasn't wearing a revealing shirt, but his gaze made me feel like I was already naked, even though I wasn't. The weather was cold, and the wind blew intermittently, but my body felt differently.
However, I was shocked when Ash's gaze went back to my face, asking something that made my face reddened.
"Why does my name sound so seductive from your lips?"
I accidentally returned my gaze to him and saw that he was just staring at me while biting his lower lip.
"You're just hungry," I answered nonchalantly.
It's not like I wanted to go along with his dirty remark earlier, and it wasn't like I wanted to start a conversation with him.
I also don't know why I'm still here, even though I should have walked away as soon as I found out he was here.
He just smirked at me before playing with the cigarette in his right hand, fondling with the silence. It's been a while since we conversed-if it could be counted as one-but what I noticed was that we're both maintaining a safe distance from each other.
No one attempted to come closer, and I like it that way. His presence scares me. Who wouldn't be if he had the power to manipulate me and ruin my entire life in a second?
"That's rude," I scolded him when he started to lower his gaze to my legs, which are very exposed right now because I'm just wearing dolphin shorts.
"What's exactly the rude thing, Miss Secretary?" he asked before taking another drag on his cigarette and tossing it onto the grass. "I am just admiring the view. If it's rude to admire good scenery, then should I file a case against those women who stare at me every time I walk towards the school?"
"Well, it's rude to stare if there's no permission, and..." I trailed off.
There were so many things I wanted to say, like how rude he was for not even apologizing for his perverted gaze earlier in school, and how he threw the cigarette on the floor, but I decided to shut up and let the thoughts run only in my head.
"And?" Ash asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Nothing." I looked away. "I'll go now."
I didn't wait for him to answer as I left the place, not looking back. I even heard Ash chuckling a bit because of what I did, but it doesn't matter to me anymore.
Temptation is unavoidable and surrounds us at every turn. You can't escape it, and I'm not just referring to romantic relationships.
There were some sort of temptations and it was tempting me to sin... but one thing I learned in life is the fact that I can overcome it.
And these strange damned feelings I feel whenever I feel Ash's presence will fade soon.
By hook or by crook.
IT WAS past eleven in the evening when I got home. Since I didn't know how I got there earlier, I also didn't know the way back home right away. There weren't many people around, so I had to figure it out through trial and error.
Thankfully, I made it home somehow.
"Where have you been, child?" my mom asked worriedly as she waited for me in our living room. She looked sleepy and exhausted, with her heavy eyes and slow movements. "I thought something had happened to you. Your dad said you ran away after talking back to him."
"Good evening, mom. I didn't know you were here." I kissed her hand before taking off my slippers and entering the house. I stretched my arms and legs a bit before facing her. "Have you eaten?" I asked, trying to change the subject.
I didn't bother to explain my side anymore. No matter what kind of explanation I give, my mom wouldn't believe me. That's how much my mom loves my dad.
Even when my dad gambled away the money that was supposed to pay for my college education, she had nothing to say against him.
"Sapphire, please be patient with your father. He only did that because he was sad. I hope you understand and forgive him," my mom said as she hugged me tightly and gently stroked my back. "He's only human. He makes mistakes sometimes."
I could only manage a bitter smile. I thought I was fine, but even after all these years, it sucks.
"Sapphire," she called softly, but I ignored her and went to the kitchen to get water instead. "Sapphire," she called again, her tone intimidating this time.
I immediately turned to her, not because I was afraid, but out of respect. "I was just outside, mom. I took a walk and didn't realize it was already late."
I drank the water in one go. I needed something to calm me down, knowing that I was losing my temper. She was a good mother and I loved her, but I didn't like that she was willing to argue with me for my father's sake.
If love is as shitty as that, it would be better if I never experienced it.
"I'm going to sleep now, Mom. I have to get up early tomorrow for work, so I need to rest." I walked over to her and gave her a peck on the cheek. "You should rest too, Mom. It's late."
I was about to leave and go to my room to sleep when Mom suddenly spoke. "I hope you could give your father a little respect."
"Respect?" I asked in a sarcastic tone. "Respect has to be earned, Mom. If he really wants me to respect him, he should show me why I should. I can't just respect him because he wants me to. I won't give it to him even if he kills me right now."
My facade is strong, but deep inside, I'm crumbling. I still can't get used to my mom always choosing my dad over me... repeatedly.
I waited for her to speak, but she just stared at me, her mouth opening and closing as if she wanted to say something but couldn't. Her eyes told me she was worried about me, but she didn't fully believe everything I was saying.
I sighed deeply before leaving her alone.
"FUCK, I want to go home," I muttered as I walked toward the College of Accountancy building for my first class.
I'm so tired of this routine, yet this is the key to my success. People who didn't have any backers or generational wealth like me can't complain about studying. I don't want to live this pathetic life forever, either.
To lighten my day just a bit, I focused on listening to music. I had earphones, and it helped me to endure the noisy students surrounding me.
Hearing my favorite song, I smiled as I went to my classroom. However, I stopped walking when I saw someone in my assigned seat.
"The owner is here, bro," I heard one guy whisper to another-the one casually sitting in my chair. "Let's go."
It was Ash and his friends.
As far as I remember, they weren't my classmates, and their courses were in Engineering. My first subject for the day was a major one, so it was impossible for Civil Engineering and BS Accountancy to merge.
That could happen if it were a minor subject, but it wasn't.
Upon seeing me, Ash immediately stood up and approached me. "Hello, Sapphire Jade. Did you miss me?"