Love Contract.

I tend to think that pain shapes us by fire. At least it is better to think that way than the opposite, that it destroys us little by little. I preferred to gather all the pieces of my heart and try to move on, even if pretending it didn't happen is a bad option, it is still na option.

" Get on with it, you bitch from hell! " I hear the call of a drunk at one of the bar tables.

Working in a bar, surrounded by rude, drunken men who are always trying to hold hands with the waitresses was not my childhood dream, of course. But life shows us that childhood dreams should remain in childhood. Living in Moscow has never been easy, but it tends to become even worse with time.

" I'm coming. " I warn him, walking towards him with the glasses of Russian beer on the tray. As I get closer, I avoid looking at any of the four men laughing and talking obscene things, just putting glass by glass in front of them and trying to think of something else. But when I am on the second glass, one of them touches my thigh underneath my uniform, making me shiver. The rough hand almost scratches my skin, and the nausea makes me need to take a deep breath. " Move away, please."

" Don't pretend you hate it, redhead. We know what promiscuous women like you like. " He keeps his hand on me, reaching up my uniform skirt.

As I have to hold the tray with one hand, I struggle to balance the two remaining glasses or the loss will come out of my paycheck and to top it off, no matter what they are doing, I would be the one to blame if I doused them with beer.

" I said, get your hand off me! " Before he can reach for what he wants, I grab his wrist with my trembling hand and leave the tray on the table. " Entertaining you is not my job.

Despite my phrase, they seem well entertained because they just laugh. I am a joke. At this moment I feel so small that I wish I were invisible, my whole body begins to tremble, my heart feels like there's a giant animal sitting on it so crushed, and tears gather in my eyes.

I feel like I am suffocating, needing to run far away for air. I put one hand on my chest, breathing so hard that my rib cage hurts as I practically run towards the exit.

" Allegra! "I hear the familiar voice of my boss, which only makes my desperation worse but there's not much I can do. " Where are you going?"

" I just need to breathe a little, please give me a few minutes. " I force the voice out, my chest hurts like I have a knife buried in it.

" You have na order, deliver it first and then take your minutes."

"But I... please, they'll just be..."

" That's na order, Allegra! " He affirms, stopping me from continuing to try to put the sentence together in my desperation.

Without being able to say anything else, using all the ways I can to breathe and walk at the same time, I go to the counter. There is na open bottle of cheap wine and a glass, which I pick up with trembling fingers and tears in my eyes.

"Is everything all right, Alle? " The night bartender worries, being the only one who really seems to notice. But he's still a man, and I don't trust anyone male other than my father.

"He will. " I lie, wiping away the tears that have escaped with one hand and continuing in search of air. "– Which table?

" The last one outside. " After his answer, I nod my thanks and head for the outside.

At least it is more ventilated here, away from the stares of the men who laugh at me as if I were a joke. We don't always have tables outside, but on weekends the bar is more crowded, so from the outside to the corridor we have tables, and the good thing is that the ones that are more outside tend to be the ones that don't like the crowds and tend to be more behaved.

" Your wine, sir. " I say politely, serving him.

He is an old man, alone, sitting at a table in a seedy bar at this hour, the poor man must have nothing to do. Sometimes it is good to think about the tragedy of others, not that I like to see others suffer, but it tends to comfort that it is not just your life that is in disarray.

"Thank you, young lady. " Thank you, looking too hard at my red face that I keep low as always. With my skin color it's easy to turn red, and with what happened inside and my tears I'm almost the color of my hair. My eyes are still moist too. " Hey, is everything okay?"

" Don't worry about me, thanks for your concern. " I force a smile and lift my torso, already walking away from him without waiting for na answer.

There is na alley next to the bar, right where the last table ends the long, dark, and usually empty corridor begins. But today, when I was trying to use it as a refuge for a few seconds where I could brood in peace and alone, it seems that someone arrived first.

" Who is there? " A deep voice that makes my legs tremble and my heart leap echoes through the room.

My eyes grow wide, it is like hearing a beast talking, or rather, roaring. Humanly, we involuntarily tend to watch what surrounds us especially if it offers danger, and I make that mistake.

I look down the hall, with the dim lighting allowing me to see two men holding another, who is wounded and no longer able to stand. The man who commands the other two comes walking toward me even though I can't see his face until I am very close, and my wobbly legs betray me and prevent me from running.

" I just wanted to be alone for a while, I didn't want to get in the way, I'm sorry. " I beg, like na abandoned puppy.

Before I can only see the silhouette, but when he comes walking and reveals himself, stepping out into the light, I can see the beast. The man seems to be both na angel and a demon, a deadly combination. His height manages to make my 1.70 look like nothing, his strong arms mark on a leather jacket, and his demonic eyes find me.

The man looks invincible, monstrously strong, and with a look that contains not a drop of humanity, but is absurdly handsome. His straight black hair matches the beard that shapes his mouth and tensed jaw. His tapered nose is raised and he looks at me as if he wants to kill me.

" Your busybody! " He violently grabs my arm, pulling me closer.

His hand hurts on my arm, his scent is of brutality and power, and yet I feel as if I know him from somewhere. But where could I know this man from? Not even from my nightmares.

" I didn't see anything, I swear! " I really couldn't see much, from a distance I only saw the silhouette of the goons who help him torture the poor man but nothing more than that. " Let me go.

" You will leave, to meet your creator. " The beast places a dagger in my neck.

The sword is large, visibly heavy and has symbols that the darkness does not allow me to identify, made of a material that must be stronger than steel. It is like the devil's weapon that is now about to slit my throat. All I can think about is my father, my little sister who barely sleeps without me and refuses to eat before at least seeing me home.

" Mr. Richelli? " My boss's voice makes me open my eyes, making the icy tip of the dagger stop pressing against the skin of my neck. " Please let her go, Allegra is an excellent waitress and only came to deliver the order because I ordered at the last table. This was just a misunderstanding, I assure you she was not snooping."

" Your girl made a mistake. " He puts his eyes on me, but I avoid reciprocating, making eye contact with him makes me terribly afraid.

" She's just a dying woman, no danger to you. Let her go, please. " The beast thinks for a few seconds about my boss's request, staring at me.

" Fine, but my bill will come out of your pocket in retaliation. " He warns, taking the dagger from my neck. Only then do I feel the blood trickle down my neck and involuntarily, I run my finger over it, squeezing the wounded spot.

" Get out of my way, Allegra, go home! " Furious that I have to defend myself and end up losing a lot of money, I am sent away.

I don't object. I run out of the alley and the bar, returning home without even looking back and feeling my body slicing through the wind. My hair flies out of the air, my heart beats at a rapid pace after almost dying, and those eyes don't leave my mind. With each step, I remember that man's hand on my arm, his dagger on my neck, and those damn eyes on me.

I only stop when I reach the gate of my house, one of many on a busy street. It is small, only two rooms, one of which I share with my sister, and the other which today belongs only to my father after my mother's death. Behind the gate is just a battered wooden door that I open after checking that the blood on my neck has stopped.

" Alle, daughter! " My father exclaims when he sees me. His eyes roam over my body, noticing my red arm, my neck is surely also still scarred, and my crying face certainly doesn't help much. "What happened?"

" Nothing, I'm fine. " I lie. My sister comes running from inside the room as soon as she hears my voice, hugging me so tightly that I stagger back and almost fall. "Relax, sweetheart, I'm here."

"I missed you. " My little sweetheart, as I have nicknamed her since she was a baby, continues with her arms around me.

"I'm already here. Now go get some food, I'll be right in bed with you. " I kiss the top of her head and she nods, leaving me alone with Daddy.

"Did someone hurt you? Who did you meet? Did they follow you here? " I know that my father is involved with strange, dirty things. I've found out how bad those people can be in the worst way, but I live outside of that world, only my father is still involved with those nasties. Now he looks scared. "Talk to me, Allegra!"

" There was nothing, just a fight at work. " I frown, trying to understand. "I ask myself, what happened?"

"Come here. " Dad takes my hand and leads me to the small table in the living room. I'm a little bewildered by everything that has happened today and with the amount of papers and things on the table I can't focus on anything. Dad takes a rolled up piece of paper and puts it into a little wooden box, before closing it and holding it out to me. "Take this, go outside, and bury it."

" Bury it? " Has everyone gone crazy today? I look at the little box in my hand and try to open it, but Dad slaps my hand away and stops me.

"Don't open it. Just do as I say, please, I have things to finish here."

"I don't understand, what is it? Why do I need...?"

"Allegra! Don't ask questions for God's sake. " I look toward the kitchen where my sister has gone, I worry about her, about Dad, about the things that might come out of this.

My sister doesn't seem to live without me, not if she doesn't even eat or sleep, not when she is in therapy and needs medication to keep her calm. We are simple people, we live in a small house, but I know that Dad makes a lot of money in his dirty dealings, that I prefer to blind myself about it and keep out of it, so I work, not to get involved in this kind of thing. He tries to hide it, others may even believe in our poverty, but not me.

" Father ...

"Trust me, child, there is nothing else to do. " He grabs my face with both hands, staring at me steadily. I don't know what that means, but I obey.

I nod my head at him, and walk out the back door. I walk a few meters away from the house, dig using my bare hands, and bury the little box.

The weekend went by too fast, it was two quiet days and although I like it that way, sometimes calmness is not synonymous with tranquility, but rather the storm that follows. I barely saw Dad, I spent the days taking care of my sister and reading.

It is Sunday evening, I am sitting in the living room watching TV, with my sister with her head lying on my lap for company. That's when the door is opened and my father walks through it, or rather falls through it, because as soon as it opens he falls to the floor. Dad is badly hurt, his face is bleeding, his hands are bleeding, his legs are bleeding.

" Dad! " I scream, scared. My sister says nothing, but starts shaking and crying on top of me. I hug her, hiding the scene from her face. " Don't look, sweetheart. Stay seated."

I leave my sister on the couch, face toward the backrest, and run to help my father up. He groans in pain; even with my help it's hard to stand upright, and I get blood all over my hands and clothes.

"Take this... " He tries to put his hand in his pocket, but groaning in pain, he can't. I help him, finding a piece of paper with him.

"Where is this place? " It's an address.

" Get out of here, Allegra. Take your sister and run away. Get protection for both of you, find Guerra."

Guerra, the Guerra I'm thinking of?

" No, Dad, what are you talking about? " I don't like your farewell tone, by now tears are rolling down my face. " Not me."

" I love you, Allegra, I love you both, just remember that. I don't want you to suffer the same fate as your mother, so please, daughter, leave this house!"

That's when I understand that if I don't do what he says, I will lose my father and my sister. I am not able to save them both. I help him up and take my sister by the hand, pulling her toward the exit. I don't even look back, because if I see my father's face I won't be able to leave.

"Come on, sweetheart, please. " My sister is reluctant and I have to carry her by force, I sob loudly trying to get her out of the house.

But only then do I realize that it is too late for us, hearing the sound of the iron gate opening and footsteps coming toward the already open door. They have arrived.

My injured father is on one side, my sister on the other, and me in the middle in despair. My heart is pouring out of my mouth and it only gets worse with every step I hear, and with no other way out, I grab my sister and do the only thing that can save me.

I run with my sister into the hiding place that Dad keeps at home, just in case the worst happens - but a sign of his involvement with dirty things. It is a sort of basement that is under the living room, which thanks to the wooden floor is just lift the trapdoor and go down.

I need to cover my sister's mouth with my hand and at the same time control my nervousness, fear, and the pain of knowing that I have abandoned my father with those people who cannot be good. Everything is bad, but it gets worse when the footsteps that I heard from afar are now just above us, it is possible to hear absolutely everything and to make it better, there is a small gap in the wood that allows me to watch.

My heart beats in every pore of my body.

"Where is it? " A voice that is no stranger to me orders my father. - Surrender and you survive.

"We both know I don't stand a chance, Simon." My father seems resigned that he won't get out of this alive.

The tears slowly stream down my face and I can't stop covering my sister's mouth, hugging her trembling body. Simon is the name of the man who commands the invasion of my house, and the voice, the name... it can't be the same...

God, I don't know what it can be anymore.

At the same time, knowing that this monster is in my house, so close to me after all he has done to me... On the spot makes my stomach complain. I raise my head and through the crack I can get a good look at one of the men who give me nightmares, one of the men who have most destroyed me internally. Yes, that's him.

Simon is a dangerous, powerful drug dealer, and holds a high place in the gang known as Spider - that's because he is the boss's brother-in-law. When I met my ex-boyfriend, he hung out a lot with Simon and his men - just like my father, Ivan was in on his dirty business. To try to get a better position, to clear the way, Ivan thought it was a good idea to share me with Simon and his gang of drug dealers.

Simon and his men, my ex-boyfriend, all abused me, repeatedly. Now this inhuman monster is right above me and my sister, torturing my father right before our eyes and ears. Looking up, I can see my father being tied up and then his screams.

I close my eyes. I have no way to cover my sister's ears and mouth at the same time, because the sound of breaking bones, of blows, the screams, the sound of a blowtorch, and especially the sounds of desperation that Dad lets out will never leave my head. Amorinha is just a child, she shouldn't be going through this.

My life has never been easy, but I just wish my sister didn't have to go through anything as bad as what I went through - but at such a young age she is witnessing the worst terror a daughter can go through. We both witness all the torture they do to our father, not being able to cry out loud, not being able to ask them to stop, not being able to do anything at all for him, or the worst would happen to us.

There is nothing they would do to me that they haven't done before, but my little girl is only thirteen, and knowing them as I do, she would be a full plate for them.

"Tell us where the map is, damn it! We know you have it, it's your duty as a member to show your loyalty to Spider."

"I..." My father gasps, you can hear the pain in his voice. "I don't have the map."

"The map you gave him is a fake, Richelli wouldn't come here to ask questions if he didn't have information about the map, and if you don't have it with anyone else..." He pauses, but the silence is soon interrupted by more shouts from my father that cause me to look up. The tears flow even more when the gap in the wood allows me to see him position a pair of pliers on my father's tooth and pull it out with brute force. "That means the real one is with you."

"Richelli is wrong. " Spits my father out, trying to convince him of his innocence.

Simon wants a map. At the same time I can only think of the box that was handed to me, Dad said I shouldn't ask about it, he was worried. Now he's willing to die knowing where the damn map is? Why? Maybe he knows that no matter if he delivers the map or not, there will be no mercy for him.

"Richelli doesn't make mistakes."

Who the hell is Richelli?

Is he the man who two days ago tried to kill me? Does he want this map too? I don't know what is so special about a map, and why these mature men want to play treasure hunt. Everything is still very confusing, and although I try to think, I can't conclude anything in this situation. My head hurts, and after they torture my father to exhaustion, I can see the moment when a gun is pointed at his head, just before he is murdered before my eyes.

My heart doesn't seem to pump blood the same way, I can feel the difference. The air around me, my heartbeat, everything is different now. My father and I don't always agree, but we always take care of each other.