Lost in love

It's 7 am on Monday - my first day of work - although I am on time to get to my workplace, I am very anxious to see my Kim Namjoon, I had not seen him or communicated with him for more than a year.

Since he was picked up by a record label, I couldn't see him anymore, he always had commitments and when he came to my aunt's (Namjoon's mom) house, he was sleeping.

My family consists of my father, my mother, my older brother and me. My family after several difficult years, now has a big business in technology that my brother is now taking care of. Now that they are sure that my brother will take over the small business and with the things I have suffered, my family allows me to study whatever I want and travel wherever I want, so they did not oppose my first job as part of the Bts team (which had nothing to do with what I studied) and as they knew that Namjoon would be there I would be fine. Since he always protected me.

Anyway. Here I am on the bus going to work.

I spent hours choosing my clothes to look nice for Namjoon and after analyzing my closet a thousand and one times I decided for this: beige pantyhose, a black skirt, booties of the same color and a white long sleeve blouse.

And here I am arriving at my destination very nervous.

Already at the Bts practice place

- Guys! Work team! Meet Eun-Yeong. The girl who is going to be my assistant or right hand from now on. Since I have a lot of work to do, I will need her help. Right now I have to go but I need you Shin -said the manager pointing to a black-haired girl- to contextualize her with what we do here and how we do it.

- Yes sir! - says the black-haired girl

Manager leaves.

Everyone began to approach me to greet me, ask me where I was from, how old I am, and other things.

After a while

- Okay, let her breathe! -The black-haired girl exclaims, -Come on Eun-Yeong, I need to tell you everything you have to do.

I followed her and after a few hours we were done.

Manager arrived and told me to follow him.

We arrived at a door which when it opened showed me seven sweaty guys concentrating on some dance steps, and boy did they look cool.

We couldn't wait for them to finish their dance since we had so many places to go, so Manager decided to introduce me to them already at home.

Apparently, they were more focused than usual, so much so that they didn't even notice our arrival. Which didn't disappoint me much because although I wanted to see Namjoon's reaction to seeing me after such a long time, I was delighted to watch him in all that time.

Night came and I was physically and mentally exhausted.

We literally went all over Seoul, and the kids have a lot of events that cause a lot of preparations where I have to be with the Manager.

Anyway, I came here to work and well, to see my Namjoon which makes me happy.

- Why do you think you laugh so much? - asks the red-haired girl expectantly.

- On how great it is to have this job,- I answered with a smile.

She smiled half-heartedly

- I hope they think the same after the month,- she commented with the same smile.

Apparently it was heavier than I imagined.

We were on our way to Bts' house since we had to tell him the details we had been arranging and other things, and after that I could go home to rest. But of course, I was in a hurry to go to Bts' house not to give the details but to see my Namjoon.

At Bts' house.

Hello, guys, please come out,- shouts the Manager when he notices that there is no one in or around the room.

The first one that arrives is JungKook concentrating on a very professional camera, followed by Suga and Jimin who came with an incredible laziness, Jin concentrating on his phone laughing his head off (apparently what he saw was very funny), Tae and Jhope came talking and lastly Nanjoom who came writing on his phone.

- Ok everyone is here. I have several announcements, first, meet my assistant Eun-Yeong,- she says pointing while looking at the guys- Eun-Yeong meet the guys.

- Hi Eun-Yeong! -they all greeted me except for Nam (Namjoon just looked at me from head to toe without speaking).

- Well now let's go to the other announcements, Eun-Yeong commenting on the details,-says the Manager.

I was lost looking at my Namjoon, my cute Namjoon who was dressed in a white shirt and pants.

He looked so cute, he looked like an angel.

- Mmm, -the Manager cleared his throat, snapping me out of my trance.

- Oh yes, we have the following...

After an hour talking about the details, explaining along with the Manager the agenda and stuff, I can go home, although what I want is to talk to Namjoon, he apparently had things to do, so he left before I left.

I'm walking out of the building towards the bus station, when a hand pulls me, which makes me surprised.

- Hey - she exclaimed angrily.

- Sh! Let's talk,- Namjoon says to me.

Yes, it was my amazing Namjoon who surprised me.

We walked to the back of the building until he stopped.

- What the hell are you doing here? -he says with some anger in his voice.

Damn, he didn't like my presence.

He didn't expect me here," I thought, "or rather he didn't want me here, which is much worse.

- I-i-i -couldn't articulate a word-.

- I come back and repeat, what are you doing here!

His anger was evident, why has he changed so much in so few months?

- I'm-I'm-I'm sorry, if my presence bothers you- I said, looking at my clasped hands.

I knew I couldn't look him in the eyes or he would definitely cry.

- Quit this job, I don't want you around.

- Why?

- Because I don't! -I shout, startled.

- There's no way I can stay?

- Why do you want to stay? -I ask. Is it because of me?

- Of course not," I lied, "it's just that it's my first job and I want to do everything right.

He was silent for a few minutes that seemed like centuries, the atmosphere was heavy between us and I didn't know why, I didn't understand why he had changed so much, but it wasn't time to ask him.

- Okay, you can stay, but if I want to tell you something, you will do everything by yourself, if something happens to you, I won't care, we are simple acquaintances in our meetings at home, but here don't even talk to me unless it is absolutely necessary.

- Namjoon," I looked him in the eyes, holding back the tears that announced his departure.

- No, here I am Rm," he answered, "Namjoon is only called Namjoon by those closest to me.

But we grew up together," I thought.

- And you are just an acquaintance," he left.

I'm thankful he left, because if he had lasted a few more minutes I would have seen the river of tears running down my cheeks.

Where did that cute Namjoon who protected me from everything go? Why is he like that with me now? What did I do to him to make him treat me like that?

I really don't know, but even though I want to accept his words and act as he wishes I cannot.

Hours later

I arrived home, dead tired and in pain.

I went into my room to get my pajamas, went to the bathroom, took a bath and put on my pajamas.

I lay down to try to sleep, but the pain in my chest was stronger than I could describe.

Why is he treating me like this? If a year ago everything was perfect between us. I suffered because of what happened, but he doesn't know that. I asked for time and I walked away because I needed him to heal, not because I didn't love him, so why is he like this with me?

- Why did he change so much? -I said as tears streamed down my cheeks.

I didn't even bother to wipe them away anymore, I knew this night would be long and it was.

Narrated by Nam

I was quiet at home, concentrating on my things, following my routines when something, or rather someone, takes me out of my emotional stability, out of my comfort zone.

And there she was, the woman I wanted since I was a child, my first love and my first love disappointment. She looked beautiful, more beautiful than I remembered her, and I hadn't seen her for a year, although I could see her (knowing the close relationship between her family and mine) I didn't want to, seeing her would make me hurt more for her betrayal, her lies. And even though I still love her, I cannot forgive her, I definitely will not. After she betrayed me she comes here with her innocent face as if nothing happened.

But what do you expect? -If she didn't ask you to explain why you broke up with her a year ago or now, it's because she knows the truth, but she wants to pretend to be innocent or rather she doesn't want to face how false she is.

But she is going to pay me back, if she wants to work here, near me I will cause her a lot of pain.

That Namjoon who always protected and loved her is no longer here," he repeated to himself to believe it.

The next day

Narrated Eun-Yeong

I woke up, my face swollen from crying so much.

Why does it affect me so much? -She said to herself, "Because you love him," she replied to herself.

- Why has he changed so much? I don't know what I did to him, a year ago he broke up with me and I accepted it thinking that he would be too busy with his commitments and why wasn't his record label allowed the band members to have girlfriends, besides, I was going through my own pain and I didn't want to be in the way.

But now I don't understand, apparently my hypothesis was wrong, he just broke up with me because he didn't love me anymore.

Narrator

Her face saddened she knew that thought was the sanest thing to think at this moment and that's why for Eun-Yeong Namjoon's reaction was because of that, only that even though she thought about it she didn't want to fully accept it until he told her from his lips, even though she knew it would kill her, she wanted to have a glimmer of hope that her first love wasn't over.

Narrated Eun-Yeong

I decided to get ready in anticipation of what this n ew day.

- Ready," I said to myself. To the fight, I mean to work," I joked to myself.

Two hours later.

I was walking back and forth fixing details, being an assistant is a difficult job, but I didn't care because I would be close to Namjoon.

Someone hits me.

- S-s-sorry," said the blond getting up from the floor, "I didn't see where I was running," he smiled slightly.

- Sorry, I was distracted too.

- Come here, you bastard," Suga shouted, "don't even think about eating my dessert because you'll know what will happen to you.

- I'm sorry, I have to go, my life depends on it -she said while she put one of the cookies she had in her mouth-.

- Damn you! You will die today," he shouted.

But Tae was already gone.

I just laughed, they looked like little kids, apparently, even though Tae is not the youngest in the group, he is getting into mischief as if he was.

- These kids -said Jin-, calm down Suga, I know how to make cookies, I'll bake you much better than those -he said touching his shoulder-.

Said the black-haired man who had observed the situation from behind Suga.

Wow, it looks like she was the mother and Suga and Tae the kids, they are definitely like a family, my question is, will they be normal or not?

Two months later.

Narrated Eun-Yeong

And here I am, already adapted to the kids and as such to my job, I'm glad to serve so much in my job and become so close to the kids, sometimes I cook with Jin -I'm still surprised that he is the only one who knows how to cook and very well it must be said-.

Other times Hoseok tries to teach me how to dance but my dance steps look like the steps to invoke the underworld, having two left feet is not enough for me, so Hoseok laughs at me and I literally get angry -obviously he makes fun of me- but that anger lasts five seconds because seeing Hoseok red about to die of laughter is enough for me to get rid of my anger.

And other times Tae drags me along with his antics that make Suga angry -I don't understand how he loves to mess with him, I'd be scared of him-.

Two weeks ago we went to a farm where several episodes were going to be filmed but things happened that were not planned.

Flashback

And here we go, in one van I go with the rest of the crew and in another one are the boys.

The farm was very far from the city, so the journey was not fast at all, the whole team was literally dead, because they don't sleep, they die.

On the other hand, I was planning with Tae something to scare the kids a lot at night -I know, I got into mischief with Tae, of course up to a certain point-.

We arrived at the farm, each of us carried our own equipment since together we were more than twelve people and carrying luggage of only one or two of them was mission impossible.

The journey from where the car dropped us off to the farm was so far that it would take us two hours to walk, which made the boys lament, especially Suga who loved sleeping more than eating and clearly two hours walking delayed his restful sleep.

And there Jung Kook and I were more than excited, as we could take advantage of taking pictures of the nature around us which was immensely beautiful.

Jung Kook and I were so prepared on the subject that we had our professional cameras, taking pictures of everything that caught our attention. It only took us 30 minutes to have missed the rest.

Of course, we were so focused on our photos that we lost sight of our surroundings.

- Jung Kook, where are the others? -I say worried.

- Not again, they left me again," he exclaimed.

- W-what do you mean, again," I said upset.

- Yes, it's normal, I get distracted in my photos so I get lost from the group, I just need to call and ...

- There's no signal here," I interrupt him.

- Oh God -he puts his hands over his mouth in amazement- I had completely forgotten about that.

I roll my eyes, it's normal to forget things if they are not related to music or photography surely it won't catch Jung Kook's attention.

- It would be good if we stay where we are, we don't know the place and we can get more lost, we'd better wait until they realize we're missing.

Jung Kook nodded.

On the other hand, already at the farm.

- Let's see, let's see," said Jin, "stay still so we can count them," he said counting them as he pointed at them, "wait a minute, where is Jung Kook?

They all looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

- He got distracted taking pictures again -they said in unison-.

- Wait a minute," says Tae, "Eun-Yeong is also missing.

They all look at each other and realize that what Tae says is true.

- Just now when I need her for my plans she's going to be missing -he said remembering the help he'll need to make the pranks-.

- Hey -Jin hits him on the head- worry because they don't know the place and they are lost, God knows if they are together.

Tae touches his head

- I know -he said- I worry about that too, I just worry about my plans first, which are important and need Eun-Yeong to be executed.

- Wow," says Jimin, "you need to get your priorities straight buddy," he says touching tae's head affectionately.

While everyone was talking Namjoon was thinking about how to look for Eun-Yeong in a place they didn't know and who he should warn.

It's about to get dark and if she's not found soon we'll find Eun-Yeong in tears and fear," he thought, "I'd better hurry.

Narrated Nam

I was worried, it's the first time we come to this place, and it has no phone signal, which complicates the search.

- Manager, manager," he calls for the manager's attention, "Eun-Yeong and Jung Kook are missing.

Manager touches her forehead with the palm of his hand.

- There's no once Jung Kook gets separated from the group, I'll definitely have to put a tracker on him -sigh- let's look for help with the people who live here, to find them quickly and go to rest since tomorrow will be a very hard day.

I nodded and we both went to look for help

The inhabitants told us that we had to find them quickly since it was 6 p.m. and if it got dark it would be more difficult to find them.

- What if they were eaten by a lion? -said Tae biting his nails.

- Fool," he said hitting Tae's head, "there are no lions or anything like that here.

- But there are snakes, frogs and poisonous spiders so we have to hurry because a sting or bite from a poisonous animal while they are lost and not knowing what medicinal plant to take would be serious," said the man making my concern increase.

Everyone turns pale.

- Let's make groups of three people -said the owner of the farm- this way we will be able to perform better, each person will have a flare so if they find them they will throw it in the air warning the others of their encounter.

Everyone nodded.

- Tae with Hoseok and Mr. Park (farm owner) -those named nodded-, Nam, Jimin and Seun (Park's son) are the second group -those named nodded-, Jin, Suga and Joong (person living in the farm) and I will go (manager) with Suk and Min Ah. Now everyone to the march.

~~~~~~One hour later~~~~~

It's been an hour and nothing that we found Eun-Yeong and I'm already worried, my little Eun-Yeong who has always been fearful and fragile at this time is very vulnerable, in a place she doesn't know and without how to communicate.

Suddenly it starts to rain.

- Not now! -Namjoon exclaimed.

We'll have to hurry or we'll have serious trouble finding them.

Narrated Eun-Yeong

We've been lost for more than an hour now and the truth is that I'm getting worried to the level of God, we are two fearful children when it comes to nature, which is beautiful during the day but very scary at night. Especially in Jung Kook that I heard last night from Hoseok a scary story, where a group of friends get lost in a forest and a crazy man is killing them one by one without a trace.

A branch rang out

- It came, it came," he shouted, "it came for me Eun-Yeong, it came for me," he said sobbing, "I told Hoseok that this crazy man did exist and now this is the proof.

Several more branches sounded, causing Jung Kook to take pictures of everything that moved, which did not stop because the light emitted by the camera when taking the pictures could help as a signal.

- Auch," I said as I felt something sting me, "Something stung my foot.

Immediately Jung Kook took a picture of what was moving near my foot.

- A-a-s-s-snake," exclaimed Jung Kook pale.

This can't be.

~~~~ an hour later~~~~~

It was bad, my temperature was rising every minute and to my misfortune it was raining, not taking into account that next to me lay a Jung Kook crying for the death that has not come to me yet.

- You are very pale Eun-Yeong -she said between tears- and very hot, what do I do? what do I do? - she said putting her hands on her head in despair - don't die Eun-Yeong please, hold on. Help! -I screamed, "Help!

My eyes were heavy and although I didn't want to close them they didn't obey me, my body didn't do it anymore.

- No, no, no, no," said Jung Kook while he touched my cheeks with his soft hands, "please don't fall asleep, don't do it, stay awake.

But I couldn't, my eyes closed without warning.

Narrated Jung Kook

I didn't know what to do, Eun-Yeong had been bitten by a snake and I didn't know what to do, she was very pale and hot, it was raining and that didn't help, I was afraid to carry her in the rain because with her temperature and this cold night and the rain would increase the risk to her health, but what do I do, what can I do for her? -Tears came out and wet my cheeks even more.

- Somebody help me, please," I cried, sobbing.

I don't know what to do, if I stay and keep screaming I might not get any answer, but if I go to get help and I can't get there, what am I going to do?

- I'm between a rock and a hard place," I say with my hands on my head.

- No, no, don't think fast Jung Kook, Eun-Yeong is in bad shape and only you can help her -I tell myself, to finally make a decision-.

Narrator

Jung Kook carefully observed the place where he was, he remembered every detail as if he was looking for a perfect place for a picture and began to look for help, although he did not have how to mark the way with any object, he was looking for details that would help him find the right way to Eun-Yeong, he ran and ran screaming for help and looking everywhere he did not realize that in front of him there was a hole until he fell into it.

- Damn," he shouted as he fell into the hole.

The hole was not very deep, but with an injured foot and no support from the ground (as it was very slippery from the rain) he could not get out of the hole. As the hole was not very deep, he could see around him, but he could only see water entering the hole and trees in the surroundings.

Jung Kook felt bad, he had not been able to seek help from Eun-Yeong and now he was hurt, he felt useless and helpless but he could not leave poor Eun-Yeong alone and sick, so he began to scream and at the same time trying to get out of the hole, causing the slippery ground to return to the hole.

Suddenly he felt how moments before falling back into the hole a hand helped him out, being his support. Tired of struggling so much, he took a quick breath and tried to get up, but the pain in his left foot did not allow him to do so.

- What are you doing here at this hour, boy, and in this condition? -said the elderly man.

- I-I need you to help me with Eun-Yeong -I said exhausted- she was bitten by a snake.

- All right, come on, tell me, where is the girl? And Jong, take him to my house," said the old man to his companion who only nodded.

- No, no, no, no I will take him to Eun-Yeong," I said trying to get up but the pain brought me back to my place.

- Boy, I know this forest like the back of my hand, just tell me which road you took and I'll know how to get there.

- No, I will only be calm if I get to where Eun-Yeong is.

And without further ado, with the help of the boy who the old man, I led them to Eun-Yeong.

I tried to carry Eun-Yeong but my foot wouldn't let me, so I gave in to the boy about my age to carry her while I leaned on the old man and walked to his house.

Already in the old man's house.

- Now tell me what happened to the girl? -I said as I placed her and the boy on a bed.

- She was bitten by a snake.

-Well, which snake?

- One, one," he remembered and took out his camera showing her a picture.

- Uhm I see, Jong bring me those herbs and that and that," he said as he pointed to the objects.

He ordered me to crush the herbs while he, I think, took out Eun-Yeong's poison and Jong put water cloths on Eun-Yeong's head.

- Jong gets clothes for them, they will need to change, especially the girl.

He nodded and went to look for what he had ordered and came back with them.

- Now change her," the old man said to me.

I blanched

- Wh-wh-wh-wh-what? -I stammered.

- Yes, change her or are you going to let her get worse in those wet clothes? -Or do you want me to change her? Or Jong? -They both stared at me.

- But-but I-I-I-I-I don't think she's going to like it.

- Forget about that and change her now, even the underwear.

- Underwear?! I don't know why, but I think Eun-Yeong will kill me later.

- Stop the drama and do as I say," she walked away leaving him alone with Eun-Yeong. And hurry up you have to take care of yourself too," she said as she was leaving.

And here we go -he thought- he started to bring his trembling hand to Eun-Yeong's blouse, he wasn't shivering because of the cold, but because of what he was going to do, he had never undressed a woman before and even less when she was unconscious, but he had to do it even if he would be ashamed to see Eun-Yeong later.

Namjoon narrates

I didn't know where else to look, we couldn't find her and we had to go back, I was afraid, afraid of what Eun-Yeong was going through right now, afraid that she was alone, I was worried about Jung Kook, but Jung Kook is a boy, he will know how to defend himself, on the other hand Eun-Yeong is very fragile, giggly, shy and innocent and at the same time very fragile as ceramic, which you must take care of so it doesn't break and I hadn't done it, at this moment that valuable ceramic for me could be broken.

- Well guys, for tonight the search is cancelled.

Everyone sighed, they were very exhausted, since they arrived they had not rested and although they were worried, the rain had increased obstructing the search for now.

- Let's get some rest and first thing in the morning we will continue looking for them, hopefully we will find them before the shooting," exclaimed the manager.

- Hopefully we will find them -I answered angrily- at this moment it is important that we find them, not the shooting.

- Yes, now if you'll excuse me, let's go to sleep for now.

Narrator

But he couldn't sleep, to tell the truth he didn't sleep all night, because of his concern.