Lost in Seoul

"SO, YOU'RE FINALLY meeting him?" asked Cheska's friend Mikaella.

Cheska had a smug smile on her lips when she fixed the collar of her checkered dress. She just bought the new boots she intended to wear when she fetch Darryl at the airport. For the record, she didn't buy it from thrift shops but at the mall. She saved up money from her allowance for a month in preparation for meeting Darryl who would come straight from South Korea.

She's nineteen and a third-year Accountancy student at the Lyceum of the Philippines. Mikha was her board mate who was taking up Psychology at the same university. Mikha's okay, but sometimes, her friend was just such a villain in her story, always dissecting everything that was happening around them. Especially when it comes to Cheska's love life.

"Yes. I told you we would eventually meet and prove to you that what I feel for him was never an immature love," she told her friend, sticking out her tongue to her like a child.

Mikha folded her arms over her chest and leaned against the pole of the double-deck bed while watching Cheska adjust her boots. "Come on. You will only know that if you have actually met. It's different when you fell in love because you saw him and not because you just thought you're in love with him."

"I told you he is not just an illusion!" Cheska insisted. "We are going to meet soon."

"You know what I mean. What he shows you in chat and his emails to you are different. It's different when you've met the person and have been with them. It's different when you fell in love with him through the words that you wanted to hear from when you are meeting him face to face. You will find out his true color. You will also know if what he is showing you is real."

"What Doc Darryl shows me is true even if we only talk via email. I feel the goodness of his heart especially in helping those in need."

Doc Darryl Kang or Kang Jung Rin was a half-Korean, half-Filipino doctor. He was an oncologist at a hospital on Jeju Island in South Korea. He's 5'10", has a lean body and his complexion looked like that of a mixture of coffee and milk. His eyes were narrow and has a nice pointed nose. He looks more Filipino than Korean but was still handsome.

He's Jaimee's cousin whom she met at a youth camp when she went to Bataan. Doc Darryl was the first to message her by email to thank her for helping out the children with cancer. He also introduced himself as her friend Jaimee's cousin. He said he saw her when she and his cousin both volunteered. Cheska found out he was helping out children with cancer in South Korea voluntarily and hoped that he would be able to do the same in the Philippines one day. Since they have been chatting over the internet. He sent her pictures and he always ask her about her studies and exams.

It wasn't like her to get close to men. She tend to avoid them because of her father's instruction not to get into a relationship just yet while she was still studying. But Doc Darryl is different. He made her feel good about herself. He doesn't care about how she looks. Unlike other men she encountered before who only look at beautiful women. They ignore wallflowers like her.

It's been a week since Doc Darryl confessed that he likes her. He said she makes him laugh, that she has a beautiful personality. She didn't want to believe it at first but her friend Jaimee told her that her cousin was actually asking Jaimee about things that Cheska likes in a man. Of course she was thrilled to learn about it. She just didn't tell anyone because she didn't want them to think that she was crazy. Afterall, who would even believe that a handsome doctor like Doc Daryll would fall for a Plain Jane like her.

Maybe that's how a matured man is. A man who no longer looks at a woman's physical appearance but her personality, her character. That's why she prefers mature men like Doc Darryl who was not childish like people her age.

"Who wouldn't suspect him anyway? He never even talk to you over voice nor video chat. He doesn't even have a social media account," Mikha said while looking at her fingernails.

"Because not everyone wanted to be a part of the messed up social media. I myself don't want to video chat nor voice chat with him." She was a bit shy because she knew she froze whenever she talks to the men she likes. She doesn't want to embarrass herself or say the wrong things to him. "Besides, do you really need to see each other first before you could say that you love that person? Whether just you talk over the internet or meet in person, we are still both real people. Whatever we feel, we let each other know about it. And that was enough for me."

The friend's expression turned sour. "I will reserve my judgment. I want to meet him first."

"Why do we need that much requirements to know if it is true love or not? There was mature and immature love? What for? The problem with you is that you're always analyzing everything. Always basing on books. How about living a normal life like everybody else? Wasn't my feelings not enough to know that it's real love?"

"Because love and relationships are not as simple as they seem."

"Have you experienced falling in love yet for you to be able to say that?" Cheska held out her palms. "Why don't you try using your heart once in a while? Using your feelings. Let's see if you would still be able to psychology once you go crazy in love. No one is in their right mind when they're in love. Logic does not exist, but at least you're happy. Because you always use your brain, you tend to not be able to feel real happiness."

Her friend gave out a sarcastic laugh. "Che, I'm not your enemy. I was just worried about you. And this is not about me. This is about you. As your friend, I will be the first to be happy for both of you if that is really true."

Cheska gave out a sigh. He blew air. "Sorry. I just don't like negative vibes right now. I just want to be happy. You understand me, right? If it's true that Doc Darryl likes me too and we both have a chance to be together, then I need to plan for our future."

It was silly. But she could feel that they were meant for each other. That's why she already planned their lives. She would go to South Korea when she passed her board exam and a full-pledged CPA. They will get married in the Philippines and in Korea. They will have two children.

But for their immediate future, Doc Darryl told her that he would help her get to South Korea. He said he would take to Jeju Island, his favorite place in the world, and tour her around. Their itinerary was already in place, where they would go and what they would do there. While she promised to take him on a trip around the Philippines with his cousin Jaimee. It was her semester break so didn't have school. Instead of going home to their province, she planned to spend her vacation with Darryl.

This is it! This is the beginning of their forever.

"Whatever. I still want to talk to that Darryl one of these days," Mikha said, still skeptical about the man. "Tita Medy put you in my care while you're here in Manila. They want to make sure you're okay. Just remember that you still don't know much about that Darryl. Your parents don't even know that Jaimee girl. Is he coming soon? I want to talk to him."

"Yes. He will fetch me up here. They just left Bataan." Cheska took out her cellphone. Darryl's flight was still a few hours more before he reached the Philippines. The last chat they had was when he was on his way to Jeju International Airport. Five hours more before he arrived in the country. She was just too excited.

"Unnie." Unnie was the Korean term for older sister in Korean.

"Oh, Jammie! I'm all ready. Where are you now? Are you about to arrive?"

"Oppa Darryl..."

"Why? Was his flight delayed? Oh, it's fine. Nothing to worry about--"

"H-He couldn't come anymore."

"Oh!" she mumbled sadly. "Is there an emergency?"

"The car he was driving to the airport had an accident. He crashed into another car. Oppa was dead on the spot. He's gone, Ate. Oppa Darryl is dead. Y-you won't be able to see him anymore."

Darryl is dead? The man she dreamed of is dead. She would never see him again. She would never be able to be with him.

"It can't be. H-he's not dead. He couldn't be. We still haven't seen each other. I haven't told him I love him yet. We're still gonna travel together. We have a lot of plans..."

She heard Jaimmie sob on the other line sobbed. "I'm sorry."

"No! Darryl!" she shouted and sat down on the floor. Everything around her has lost its colors. Joy disappeared and sadness enveloped her heart. Her world collapsed. Her heart seemed to stop beating.

Cheska's whole world faded into darkness.

"Why didn't you tell me about your condition? That your time is almost up?" Tristan Choi asked his girlfriend Emelyn Chang. The woman is sitting in a wheelchair, looking so pale while trees in different shades of brown surround them. Its leaves were falling. Just like the life of the woman whose life was in its last stages.

Emelyn coughed. Black circles around her eyes were so visible. Cancer was slowly destroying her body and her days were numbered. "I don't want you to get hurt when you learn about my situation. I don't want you to see me suffering like this."

Tristan clenched his palm. "You already killed me when I thought you left me with Harvey. Do you know how painful it is to be left behind without you saying goodbye? Do you know how much it hurt to be filled up with lies? Of how much I was hating you when I should have been by your side fighting with you?"

Cheska couldn't stop crying while eating her ice cream. She didn't take her eyes off the Smart TV that was broadcasting video streams of Tagalized Koreanovela. She had been watching TV for two hours now and her heart felt like it has been battered for ages. But she didn't care. This was the only time she could feel something.

"You're lucky you could still be with her. You still had the chance to know days are numbered before she disappeared from this world. Unlike me. I didn't even get to see Doc Darryl. I couldn't even say goodbye to him. I didn't even get to say that I loved him," she sobbed but ended up crying in the end.

The main characters in the drama hugged and promised to spend the rest of their lives with each other. Cheska laid down on the bed and continued to cry. She doesn't care if the heroine dies eventually and the male hero follows her. Because her heart was still mourning for the love that was broken before it was even given the chance to bloom. There was no such thing as 'forever', but it was more painful with the 'never', because she and Doc Darryl weren't able to meet nor be together even for a short time. And it was unfair.

She stopped crying when the door to her room suddenly opened. "I knew you'd be here drowning yourself in tears and a gallon of ice cream."

She turned around and was a bit surprised to see her friend Mikha still in her sexy strappy dress and three-inches gladiator shoes, holding a sequined clutch bag. She looked like a lethal warrior princess. "What are you doing here?"

"Because I feel like you'll be here locking yourself up again."

"Weren't you on a date with June in Tagaytay?" she asked and got up.

She and her friend were living in different apartments now. Cheska was now living at the apartment that was owned by Mikha's boyfriend in Quezon City. It was close to the outsourcing company where she works as an accountant. While Mikha herself was living in an apartment in BGC Taguig where she practice as an online psychologist. They have come a long way in life but Mikha was still like a fairy godmother to Cheska who was always there for her whether she needed rescuing or not. They have a key to each other's apartments and could anytime to their houses whenever they feel like it.

Cheska didn't even notice her friend entering her place.

Mikha sat at the edge of her bed and took off her shoes. "Well, June and I can still go out in another day. That restaurant will not go anywhere. But you, you only go on a date once in a blue moon and it still fails."

"How's that a failure? I showed up at the coffee shop, didn't I?" she answered, wiping her tears away.

"You did show up but if your date was a success, you wouldn't be here crying your heart out watching a telenovel while eating chocolate cakes," Mikha said as she tried to take the bowl of cake from Cheska's hands. "Let me have that."

Cheska hugged the bowl even more. "Don't be such a nuisance, Mikha. Can't I go home just because it's the last night of the Koreanovela that I'm watching? "

"Tell me the truth. What happened on your date?" her friend asked and stared at her as if penetrating her soul. Her friend knew her too well. She couldn't hide anything from Mikha. "Did you hide him or did you pretend your stomach hurt? Or did you look for signs if your date's type was also a man just so you have a reason to dislike him?"