Look At Me!

"You are handsome and attractive, Mr. Rudi. I'm sure a lot of women are eager to be by your side." Clarissa looked at the handsome man sitting in front of her. With a charming smile, a beautiful aura manifested itself on Clarissa's oval face.

Clarissa's words made Rudi smile widely. It seemed Clarissa is attracted to him. Her attitude was a little stiff and arrogant, but Clarissa was beautiful, smart, and classy. It was fitting that his parents introduced him to Clarissa.

"It's a shame, you are not my type. Too old-fashioned, look like a father to me. And for sure, I don't like it the most, if I have to get married because of an ar-range-mar-ried." Clarissa's gaze turned sharp and cynical towards Rudi.

Rudi's happy face immediately disappeared. He was surprised that Clarissa was so sharp with words, even though they had only met this time.

"Maybe because you are not very social, so you need help just to find a date. Sorry, I can't stay long, even this dinner menu is not my taste." Clarissa stood up, grabbed her bag which was lying next to the chair, then walked away from the fancy restaurant.

Rudi was offended and angry. He hasn't even had time to say anything other than introduce himself. It turned out that the news about the arrogant Clarissa was not a figment. He's really proud. The words she spoke seemed like they were not filtered out. Regretfully Rudi accepted his mother's offer to come and meet Clarissa.

It felt like he was slammed by a just growing adult woman. How could be? He was a successful businessman, belittled by a young girl who just felt mature. So annoying!

Clarissa drove straight to her boarding house. She just got into the room, the phone rang from inside his bag. Clarissa knew who contacted her.

"Clarissa! You are too much. You just left Rudi? I am tired of persuading her parents to let Rudi meet you! He's busy, lots of business. You really give me a headache !!" A loud, furious sound slid into Clarissa's ears.

Clarissa just grinned. He was happy that her mother was upset. It seemed satisfying, making the woman who gave birth to her frantically had to apologize to her colleagues. Clarissa was clearly not going to be a match to anyone. But this is the umpteenth time her mother urged Clarissa to meet a man that she didn't know.

"So what? I already met him. Where am I wrong? Did he complain about me leaving? What a child!" Clarissa calmly answered as she took off her heels, which were more than 4 inches.

"Yes, but, don't be rude like that, please. Get to know him first, talk to him, not just run away like that, Clarissa!" Still annoyed, my mother's voice feels louder.

"I already told you, I don't want to be married by matchmaking. I don't want to think about getting married anyway. What I'm doing now I enjoy it, Mom. Why don't you yourself get married? Bothering to know you have dating with your friends!" Annoyed, Clarissa denied her mother.

"Clarissa! Watch your mouth, okay ?!" Rosita was getting angry with Clarissa's words. That girl dared insult her now?

"Alright, Mom. This is the last one, you force me to meet a boy. I can find out for myself who is the right man for me. I just entered college for several months, Mom! If until I am turning thirty and no one wants to be with me, alright, find me a man to be married to. You can be upset then!" And with annoyance, Clarissa turned off the phone from her mother.

Clarissa couldn't understand what was on her mother's mind so she wanted Clarissa to get a mate quickly. She always got the rich one who was thrust at her daughter. But no one made Clarissa want to look at him. Since she was a teenager, this matter has never been connected with Rosita. Meanwhile, Clarissa is also tired of seeing her mother change boyfriends after the divorce. It made Clarissa even more hurt and chose a boarding house outside the house even though she still lives in the same city as Rosita.

Clarissa changed her clothes then sat on the bed, started working on her cellphone, seeing what was the commotion in cyberspace. While having fun scrolling for the interesting posts, a notification appears in the class group chat. Clarissa opened it and saw what info was there.

Clarissa's smile widened. It was noisy, there was a new cool lecturer who would replace one of the senior lecturers who was sick and couldn't continue teaching. Clarissa would see what the new lecturer looked like, so the class became so excited.

That day was the first time the new lecturer was teaching. Clarissa had prepared a surprise for the new lecturer. She had arrived a little late on purpose, with a slightly antique appearance. Clarissa wore clothes in bold colors, orange, and green. The model is slightly quirky which is sure to make people look straight at it. And her hair, she dyed it similar with her clothes at the ends and a few strands of her hair.

The class was just starting when Clarissa stood at the door and casually walked into the classroom. The lecturer couldn't help but turn to her. His eyes widened, saw Clarissa walking without permission, and seemed not to see a lecturer in front of the class.

"Good morning! Sorry, Miss!" The lecturer called.

Clarissa turned to the lecturer in front of the class who was standing and staring at him. Woww ... That's right, handsome. Cool. Nice eyes, lips, chin. Clarissa this time admitted that her friends' type was solid.

"Hi, sorry I am late." Clarissa smiled and slightly raised her hand.

"What is your name?" The lecturer glared at Clarissa. He felt strange about this student. It seemed she didn't care about ethics. Obviously, she was dealing with the lecturer, but she was acting her way.

Diaz watched from head to toe, this girl was quirky too. Beautiful, quite tall with a smile that was quite charming. But what a magic behavior!

"Oh, hey, I'm Clarissa Josephine. Just call me Clay." Clarissa stepped closer and reached out to the lecturer.

The class was smiling. They really understand how was Clarissa's behavior, she would do what she wanted.

"Sit down. The class has started. And don't be late again." The lecturer did not return Clarissa's helping hand.

"Don't be arrogant, Sir. My hands are sterile, seriously don't want acquaintances?" Clarissa still held out her hand.

"It's study time. Hurry and sit down or I'll tell you to wait outside." The young lecturer was also firm.

"All right. I'll sit down." Clarissa relented. He stepped into the seat at the front, there was still one empty.

"Alright, I continue the class. My name is Wira Diaz Wardhana. Just call me Diaz. I was asked to replace Prof. Ilham who is currently still under treatment because of his condition. Now, as the beginning of the class ..." The handsome lecturer again focused the class on what he wanted to explain.

Clarissa looked at Diaz. He was indeed attractive. Every movement of his movements looks calm, confident, had a charisma that made people want to pay attention to him. Clarissa felt a soft rustle grease her heart.

For almost two hours of class, Clarissa, who was usually nosy, asked questions to make the lecturer nervous, this time just staring at the young lecturer. Something was forcing Clarissa to keep staring at him even though she didn't pay attention to what the professor was saying.

Until class ended, her close friend, Yenny, who was sitting in the back row tapped her on the shoulder, found it strange that Clarissa could stay quiet in class.

"Are you okay?" Yenny asked. His hand touched Clarissa's forehead.

"Healthy, why? I'm pretty with this style?" Clarissa ran her fingers through her hair.

"You looked calm today. Why?" Yenny asked again.

"I ... fascinated ..." Clarissa smiled. Her white teeth were visible, the more beautiful. "I'm in love, Yenny."

"To Mr. Diaz?" Yenny glared.

Yenny was still staring at Clarissa who was smiling in front of her. She wasn't sure if Clarissa really liked the lecturer. All she knew was that Clarissa was the pickiest with guys. How many times she did turn down the guy who told her they fell in love with her. And she did it in a less human way. She pretended to have fun with the boy's love, but then she kicked away the guy who spelled it. Hanging out together, as if Clarissa gave hope, then as soon as the boy confessed, with a mocking smile, grin, Clarissa left the boy.

"Are you sure what you say?" Yenny hasn't turned away from the sharp gaze at Clarissa.

"Very sure. He's different from any guy who I ever know, Yenny." Clarissa looked up at the classroom ceiling. He returned to imagining the face of his new lecturer.

"He's handsome, with a good sharp nose. His chin is firm but not fierce. His smile, not sharp. His posture, oh, no ... Yenny, for me, he is the man of my dream." Clarissa caught her cheeks.

"How could you?!" Yenny held Clarissa's forehead as if checking her friend's condition. "Are you sure, you're just fine?"

"Obviously. If I am sick, I am better having a sweet sleep, why do I have to sit for long in class like this," said Clarissa.

"Clay, don't be weird, please. Mr. Diaz is our lecturer. You can look at the other students. If you want to see the mature one, find our senior level. Many of them are okay too. Don't go too far away. It can be dangerous." Yenny reminded her friend.

Clarissa played the ends of her hair. She twisted and then he let go again. She didn't wonder Yenny would say this.

"I am a quality girl. I can definitely win Mr. Diaz's heart. So far, I have refused the men, from those who came voluntarily, or those who did bring in my mother, because she longed to have a businessman son-in-law, nothing got involved. This time I couldn't hold my heart. " Clarissa held her lungs, it felt like a soft rustle creeping in talking about Mr. Diaz.

"Oh, Clay ... At most a week and two weeks. Then you will not care about it anymore." Yenny shook her head, still unable to understand her unique friend.

"We'll see, the kind and generous Yenny," said Clarissa. She patted Yenny on the cheek.

Class continued. Clarissa couldn't enjoy the class. Her mind was really disturbed because she remembered Mr. Diaz. She will find out about the handsome lecturer. And she would approach him, very soon.

Until classes finished that day, it felt like Clarissa was still in another place. She didn't know what the lecturer was talking about that day. As soon as class was over, Clarissa immediately drove back to the boarding house. Good, Yenny had an activity that day, Clarissa would not hear a boring speech from her friend.

Clarissa went into her room, took off her shoes, put down her bag, and quickly opened social media. She was looking for a Diaz Wardhana account. The name was unique, not a common name, it would be easy to find it. Yes, it didn't take long, Clarissa already got three accounts on different applications.

Clarissa started scrolling, looking at the gallery and what the professor's posts were. The main thing that Clarissa wanted to confirm was that the lecturer was still single. It wouldn't be funny if he turned out just been married or had a girl. It is supposed to be safe. There was no status about a special relationship. There were no photos of Diaz with a woman. Clarissa was sure she could approach the lecturer freely.

"Ahh ... I'm so happy. Mr. Diaz Wardhana, you have a huge fan. Just wait, I'll give you lots of surprises. And surely you will turn to me." A big smile appeared on Clarissa's thin and tiny lips.

Clarissa's mind continued to spin how she could have a chance to communicate with Mr. Diaz. Indeed, the lecturer has already provided a cellphone number, and email address as well. But she had to be elegant in his non-offensive way. She had to do it in a classy way. And one way started popping up in her mind. Hopefully, it can be done soon.

*****

The library was not that crowded. Only a few students seemed busy there. Clarissa came to the library that afternoon because of a schedule to return the books she borrowed. Though she didn't read them right either. She wanted to look such a diligent until she got home, it was more fun staring at a film on a laptop or scrolling through social media to see what was fun there.

Clarissa just finished and was getting ready to leave the library, the handsome lecturer walked in. Clarissa's lungs rumbled. So cute, oh my. Was this coincidence or what? In fact, the plan has not been executed, good luck on her side.

"Good afternoon, Sir," Clarissa said hello first. And she didn't forget, she was in the library. Clarissa said in a half-whisper.

Diaz turned to the quirky student. This time her hair was purplish red, according to the clothes and bag she was wearing. Diaz wanted to laugh. This girl was just like a mannequin in a clothing store that can be changed the hair color with a wig and match the clothes to promote.

"Good afternoon," replied Diaz. He stopped his steps.

"Uh, can I ask for suggestions about books?" Clarissa found a way to communicate with her lecturer now.

"What book? The lecture I teach? Or what?" Diaz asked back.

"Both are fine, sir. It must be very helpful for me." Clarissa looked at Diaz with a dazzled gaze. His voice is not that heavy, but nice to hear.

"Okay. We'll step aside there, so we don't disturb the others." Diaz stepped to the right side of the library. There are tables and chairs for those who want to work in groups and have discussions. The room is bordered by glass walls where no one else can hear when they are talking.

Clarissa smiled broadly as she walked following Diaz. What an unexpected day. They sat there, facing each other. Diaz started asking what book Clarissa was looking for. Clarissa didn't hesitate to speak. And Diaz turned out to be very kind. He was friendly and did not hesitate to give information, explaining clearly.

He was very smart. Whenever Clarissa asked about a topic, he would know what book Clarissa needed and where to find it. It seemed that this lecturer has memorized all the locations of the books in the library. With great pleasure, the first nickname Clarissa gave Diaz was The Walking Library.

"How? Anything else?" Diaz asked again.

"Hm, that's enough for today. I've recorded everything. It's so nice to meet you. It feels like dry land splashed with water, so fresh." Clarissa smiled.

"You are funny, Clarissa." Diaz pulled his lips and smiled too. He admitted that Clarissa was very beautiful. Even though her appearance was a little different from the average student's, it was still good.

Diaz was sure, there was something about this girl, why she acted like that. He might be able to understand and try to help. One of the things Diaz liked about being a lecturer was not only about sharing academic knowledge, but also sharing life experiences. Diaz was satisfied to be able to provide direction so that students he knew how to live the life he had to go through.

"Next time when I need help, I hope I can come to you again, Sir. I want to be a successful student," Clarissa said.

"Yes, anytime. But don't feel anything, if I do not reply to your messages quickly. At that time, I am sure I have a lot of work to do. When I am free, I will respond," explained Diaz. The man stood up, who left the library.

Of course, Sir. Understood, "nodded Clarissa." Thank you so much for today. "

Diaz once again smiled. And made Clarissa unable to hold back her heart from rumbling again.

"Ah, Mr. Diaz. This is true, I'm crazy about you." Clarissa patted her cheeks. Now she headed to the bookshelf. At least she would borrow the two books that she wrote down from talking with Diaz. And the book was a must, connecting, with that charming lecturer.

Clarissa stepped over to the shelf she needed. She looked at the row of books, then Clarissa smiled. She found the book. Just as Clarissa's hand was tugging at the book, there was another hand, also holding the same book. Clarissa turned quickly to the boy next to her.

The guy in front of Clarissa smiled. His slanted eyes looked smaller. His hand was still holding the book that Clarissa was holding, too. On the other hand, he raised his slightly drooping glasses.

"Let it go," Clarissa said sharply liking the boy.

"Okay, lady first." The boy's hand let go of the book that Clarissa was also holding.

"Adimasta. Adimasta Cakradinata, The Nerd Cold Boy. How lucky I see you here." Clarissa's eyes were still sharp at the boy.

Adimasta smiled faintly. The special call from Clarissa he heard again. It wasn't really good, but Adimasta was glad that Clarissa did it.

"Yeah, just take it. In two weeks when you're done, I'll borrow it. Tell me, okay?" One by one Adimasta said the word he spoke. Calm, slow, light.

Clarissa wanted to laugh when she heard Adimasta speak. He was just like being careful and afraid of being wrong. Sometimes Clarissa couldn't wait for him to finish saying the sentence he wanted to say.

"Are you sure I want to lend it for you?" Clarissa quickly spoke with her eyes glancing at the white-skinned boy.

"Yeah. Why are you borrowing the book so long? Two weeks from now means the 24th, okay?" relax, Adimasta said.

"Yeah, alright, alright ..." Clarissa shook her head. Her purplish red hair moved sweetly behind her head.

Adimasta was staring at that girl. Clarissa was so beautiful. With an appearance that was always weird but for Adimasta it was still interesting. Since the beginning of their college years last year, Adimasta felt there was something that made him like Clarissa. Until, finally, Adimasta was sure he fell in love with her.

Even though Adimasta understood Clarissa was kind of a reckless girl, but Adimasta could not suppress his feelings. The love in his heart deepened. It' was just that Adimasta has not dared to approach. He only looked at Clarissa from afar or dealt with the girl once in a while if there was a need. Adimasta was very aware, Clarissa would not turn to him, even though she has remained good with Adimasta all this time.

"Two weeks later, just remind me. So, when I come back here, you can accept it immediately. How's it going?" Clarissa looked at Adimasta who was again raising his glasses.

"Yes, okay. Thank you." Adimasta nodded firmly with a faint smile. Handsome. Clarissa admitted it, but Adimasta wasn't the kind of guy that charmed Clarissa.

*****

"Why do you ask me to come home? I don't want to. I have a lot of college things to do." Clarissa looked annoyed. She received a call from Rosita. Her legs stretched out, crossed on the table, Clarissa heard her mother on the phone.

"Ugh, Mom, that's the reason. I'm sure in the end you will introduce a man to me. It is annoying. It's better to watch a film, Mom," said Clarissa.

Yenny appeared right away, hearing Clarissa she giggled. She knew there was again a war between mother and daughter. Yenny sat in the chair next to Clarissa. She picked up the brownies that were on the table. While eating the brownies, she tried to listen to Clarissa and her mother.

"Ugh, don't force me. It's also a socialite mothers' event. I won't go there, Mom." Still, Clarissa refused what Rosita asked.

"Clarissa, this time you must obey your mother. My friends will come with their children, and your mother will be like a miserable widow who doesn't have anyone." Rosita was a little pitifully pampering her child.

"Oh, yeah!? It is right anyway. Daddy just remarried, he has already had a child. And you, where have you been?!" Clarissa replied.

Yenny laughed at that. Because there was cake in her mouth, she almost choked and coughed. It was really shocking, Clarissa had no respect for her parent."Are you okay? Drink." Clarissa turned to Yenny.

Yenny quickly reached for the mineral glass. Her face was red from choking and coughing. She took a few sips to clear her throat and throat.

"Clarissa, what do you think when you talk about it? Respect your mother, huh?!" Rosita seemed at a loss for her only daughter. Clarissa glanced left and right, wanting to just hang up the call from Rosita.

"This time help me. You come, then you can go directly to the location. You can't go home, it's up to you, any way you come. I really asked for your help, Clarissa." Rosita didn't want to give up. She wanted to make sure that Clarissa would follow her lead.

"I won't. That's the end. You want to introduce me to your friend's son. I'm tired, Mom." Clarissa pouted.

"Hey ... No. This time it's not about getting to know a guy. Listen ..." Rosita's persuasion was still long. Yenny noticed Clarissa's expression. Her face swayed, her mouth mumbled as if imitating what her mother had said.

Again, it made Yenny want to laugh. This time she kept her mouth shut, afraid to escape, and burst out laughing. She could not understand the behaviour of her friend.

"Ugh, don't always get excited." Finally finished the long lecture of the mother. Clarissa put the phone on the table.

"So, will you go?" asked Jenny. After calming down, she continued to eat brownies in his hand, only half of the money was left.

"What do you think? Instead of being called again, scolded again, whatever," Clarissa grumbled. She folded her arms across her lungs.

"Hee ... hee ... Then why are you making a fuss with your mother? The conclusion is the same, you do what she wants," said Yenny.

"At least I was trying to defend my personal rights," Clarissa said, her annoyance not gone.

"How long do you want to disagree with your mother?" Yenny this time did a little serious talk. Clarissa turned her head, looking straight at Yenny.

Yes, since her father's mother divorced, Clarissa felt uncomfortable with her mother. Not comfortable with her father. She felt that her parents didn't really love her. They just cared about their own lives. Therefore, they chose separate paths to get what make them happy. They forgot that there was a daughter who also needed to be happy.

"You know, Yen. You can imagine, now I'm living far away from my mother, we still keep on fighting, what if we stay together in a house. I can die before I have a boyfriend," Clarissa said.

Yenny's laughter exploded again. Clarissa's answers were always reckless, with no filter. On the other hand, Yenny could understand Clarissa was actually protesting because she didn't get the love that she needed from her parents. Unfortunately, Rosita didn't understand that. She thought Clarissa to be stubborn, unruly, and just looking for attention. Poor beautiful girl.

*****

With a light brown jumpsuit, her hair in a ponytail behind her head, Clarissa looked beautiful and elegant. White shoes with a matching handbag made her appearance complete. She walked into the restaurant where her mother was having an event. Laughter was heard from the classy mothers were sitting there.

As soon as Clarissa got close, Rosita immediately stood up. Her smile was wide, happy, Clarissa had really come as she requested. She asked Clarissa to come closer with a wave. In slightly heavy steps, Clarissa approached, standing behind her mother's chair. Rosita's smiling face appeared. The nearly fifty-year-old woman proudly introduced Clarissa to her friends. Clarissa smiled, nodded, greeted the classy mother. Some Clarissa had met before, some she had seen this time.

"What a beautiful daughter. Are you already in college? Where do you study? What faculty do you study? Have you gotten a boyfriend yet?" The questions popped up from the mothers. Clarissa just smiled. Rosita excitedly gave answers to her friends. After that Rosita pointed at the table across from the mothers' table.

There was a table that is laid out just as beautifully as the one in front of the mothers. Sitting around the table, there were young people. Clarissa understood they were the children of Rosita's friends.

"Oh, this time a special table was is up. Hm, okay. We'll see what happens." Inwardly Clarissa spoke. She walked over to the table, pulling up one of the chairs closest to her. To her left, a girl with blonde hair sat. Not a white girl. Only a girl with white hair. Clarissa was wide-eyed to see who was sitting on her right. A young man with white skin, slanted eyes and glasses!