Little Lilly White

Little lily white

Hi, my name is lily, born on January first, or so i would like to think and today is my birthday........ And my wedding.

So let me tell you the story from the beginning

I'm originally a 32 year old modern girl, and as if being poor wasn't bad enough, i died at that exact age from car accident and when i thought that was the end, when i opened my eyes again i thought i would see two gates, like a gate for heaven and a gate for hell but all i saw was a ceiling, some old crappy ceiling that seemed to collapse if ever touched.

I tried to get up but it didn't seem like i had any strength in my body, was the accident that bad? am i paralyzed for life? is that ceiling the only thing i will ever see?

Amidst all this something caught my eyes, small hands of a baby stretched right in front of my eyes and it was moving, it took me a few more moves of that hand to realize that it is actually mine.

I wanted to scream out loud but what came out was a cry of a baby, and that made me cry for real.

A woman came in when she heard me, and i swear to god, i have never seen such a beautiful woman before, she held me in her arms and tried to sooth me and singing for me which made me calm down, at least for the time being, my kind and weak heart couldn't keep crying when that poor and beautiful woman was desperate to calm me.

And in the middle of this calm atmosphere, i had a chance to appreciate her beauty,

She was a beautiful woman with turquoise eyes and peachy cheeks, she had plump pink lips which were slightly darker than your average pink lips, hers were something between red and pink, she had a mole underneath her left eye and another one under her lips on the right side.

She had a bright blonde hair and thick eyelashes.

When she saw that I calmed down she smiled brightly at me, her smile was so radiant and beautiful that i couldn't help but reach and touch her lips, she looked touched and I could see her eyes tearing but she soon smiled even more brightly

I wanted to say "beautiful" but only blabbering of a baby came out, i looked her straight in the eyes and tried to say it once more but still the same result came out, i became dejected and decided to scream it out and what came out was "bawaaaaa", in conclusion, no understandable words.

I pouted my lips and when she saw my expression she laughed out loud, she said with tears in the corner of her eyes because of laughing hard "you sure are a busy body" "i have never seen a baby making these many expressions in one minute".

I touched her cheeks and stared her in the eyes, i only looked at her as if engraving her in my mind and in return she hugged me while singing me a lullaby

"Hush a bye, don't you cry.

Go to sleep little baby.

When you wake, you shall have

All the pretty little horses.

Black and bays, dapples and grays,

Coach and six a little horses.

Hush a bye, don't you cry.

Go to sleep little baby."

Her calm voice and the way she patted my head made me feel peaceful and finally sleep, maybe it's not that bad to live here, my past life wasn't that great of a life to begin with, dad was a cheater who abandoned mom and me for another woman, after that mom became agitated and anxious, she hated everything and everyone and didn't see any good side to the life, and me, the daughter of the man who abandoned her, was hated as well

"You look like that b**tard, everytime i look at you i see his shadow in you, why? Why did he do that to me, why did he leave, how was she any better .........".

It was clear to me that mom was losing it and actually, instead of being angry at her i was actually feeling sorry for her, so i decided i will make her very proud and happy of me, i worked the hardest to get the highest score in the school's history, got a scholarship to the top university in the country, worked in more than one job to make money to make up for all the loses that dad left us with and mom was actually getting better, she started to go out and shop for clothes, and although it was always expensive i never said no, so i worked even harder to make more money so she can always be happy, and although i knew that wasn't right, i couldn't help it since she was my mother and she was finally smiling.

After sometime my grades dropped because i couldn't balance between work and studies and ended up losing the scholarship, years went by fast and one day while i was working mom came to visit me, she looked younger than ever, happier than ever, she came telling me that she was in love again, that she was happy and peaceful once more, and that i wasn't part of her future plans no more, like i was some luggage of the past that could be abandoned any time, she told she was abandoning me with the brightest smile i have ever seen, and I, like i wasn't there with her through all this time, was heartbroken.

End of chapter 1

Going back home that day was heavier than ever and even more darker, i ran away from her that day and it was the last time I saw her.

I heard about how happy she was and that now i have a brother and sister, i heard she could move on just fine and i thought i would never see her again but after 10 years she came to see me, she was older, she had some wrinkles, some of her hair was white and her hands looked older and weaker than ever, like those hands could never hurt anyone, little did they know, it was the very same hands that hit me in the past.

"I miss you" was what she said "sorry I can't say the same" i replied back

"I'm sorry, I know you're angry but let me ex...." I cut her words saying "I'm not angry anymore mother so it's okay to just let everything go" "I would actually like it if you did". I turned back attempting to leave but she held my hand, I could hear her sobs, i didn't dare to turn back and face her, i was afraid it would weaken my resolute heart but i also couldn't leave and after some minutes she started to calm down and what I heard then was so shocking that i thought i might have heard wrong, "I'm dying" "I was diagnosed with blood cancer, it's a late stage" "when I heard the news the first thing that came to my mind was your picture, it was funny because i thought that i hated you, but at that exact moment i found out that i never did, the doctor said i had 6 months left" "that was then, now i only have two months, in the last four months, i have been thinking, what does she look like, how is her life going, is she married and if she is, Is he treating her right, does she have any children." "You look older than i remember, it's 32 now right? Can you please look at me, i really want to see your face" " please!" "I'm sorry, I'm really really sorry, I'm sorry I failed you and hurt you, I'm sorry I destroyed your brilliant future, I'm sorry i left after all that and I never forgot you, I couldn't to the point I tried to find you in the people I look at." "I'm sorry.....and I love you, and if possible, can we be together this two months? Just you and me".

"No!" I replied without looking back, "how, how could you be this cruel?" She said.

"Are you seriously asking this question right now, it took you only one person to abandon you to do what you did to me, I was abandoned by two" I shook her hands off and left with heavy steps, never once did I look back.

I thought I was already past the pain, I thought i wouldn't feel anything but I guess I was wrong.

After that day I thought I would never see her again but she came to visit regularly at the cafe I was working at, even when I ignored her she still came to visit then one day when I was working, she collapsed so I took her to the hospital and spent the night there with her, I woke up in the next morning because I could feel a hand on my hair, I got up and found her smiling at me,

"I couldn't call any of your family members so I had to stay the night, can you tell any of their numbers" I said while stretching my back .

"Umm, I don't memorize their numbers and I forgot to take my phone with me today" she said with an apologetic look "I'm sorry, it seems I will trouble you again" she said with a smile.

At first I was uncertain if I should stay or not but she was gonna leave the hospital tomorrow so I thought it would be okay, "fine then I will stay tonight" when I finished saying that I looked at her to be met with the most genuine smile that she ever gave me in my life and it was quite the unforgettable one, that night she didn't sleep till dawn, she kept talking about everything, her childhood, first love, college and how she met father, about me when I was just born and she didn't know how to take proper care of me then and even about my grandparents, I found myself smiling along with the conversation and sometimes laughing untill it became dawn and I decided to tuck her in because she wouldn't sleep and she agreed to sleep only if I was beside her but that night was a sleepless night, the time I spent with her got me thinking if I really hated my mother and If I really can't forgive her and by the time the morning came I had a headache.

I went outside to get something to eat but the line on the food court was long so I had to wait for a very long time and by the time I got food for both me and mother an hour have already passed, I headed back to her room and when I entered I heard sobs , loud ones, I thought something happened to her or maybe her condition worsened so I put the plates on the table beside the door hastily not noticing the spelt water and dropped food and ran to her, I found her hugging her legs, putting her hands to her ears and her eyes were open wide and staring at nothing, she was crying, that expression of hers, I have only seen it when father left us, when I called her she didn't hear me, I went closer to her and put my hands on her shoulders while calling her once more and that's when she noticed my presence, she looked at me and it felt like life returned to her eyes, she hugged me and said "where have you been" "when I woke up and didn't find you I thought you left me too" she said with a trembling voice "I thought you got tired of me, I'm sorry, please don't leave me".

By the time she finished talking I was left speechless, I didn't know what to say so instead I just wrapped my hands around her and kept soothing her "I just went to bring us breakfast, I brought you your favorite strawberry juice" I said while patting her back and eventually she started to calm down but the atmosphere then became very awkward and we both stayed silent.

Around dusk I got a phone call from the landlord telling me that the apartment above mine was flooded with water and that the roof of my apartment strated to leak so I had to leave the hospital so I told mother that I will come back to get her out of the hospital in 2 hours time.

I left the hospital and headed to my house which wasn't that far away, thankfully the situation wasn't that bad and my neighbor was the one who will have to pay for the damages, I looked at the hour and found that it's already 11:35 pm, and I should have taken mother out of the hospital at 10:00 pm.

I decided to head for the hospital for now and come back later for the apartment.

I arrived at the hospital at 12 am but there was still a road I had to cross, I waited for the traffic light to turn red, once it turned red I ran across the road not noticing the car that didn't stop even with the traffic lights turned red.

It was cold, I felt numb and I didn't feel pain, my last moments of life were very calm and with my last breath I vowed, that if there is a second chance, I will be selfish, I will be powerful and successful, but most of all, I will be happy and with that vow, my eyes closed and all that was left was darkness.

End of chapter 2

Soon days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and months turned into years and now I'm already three years old....at least physically, my mother's cafe started to get bigger and bigger and although she had a long queue of suitors she refused them all which made me wonder about who is my dad but decided to forget about it, I have the best mother in the world and I grew up well without my father, be it in my previous life or now.

"Mamma, mom, up" i went to mother's side and pulled on the hem of her dress and when she turned to me I stretched my arms to her standing on my toes, she looked very touched as if she is about to cry, I swear this woman keeps over reacting at the smallest things I do as if I'm a never before genius, and that actually makes me feel good.

"Ooh my baby, aren't you the cutest most lovable sweetest strawberry cupcake that ever came to the world" she said while kissing me all over my face then she hugged me tight while patting my back, she rested my head right underneath her chin after she rained me with kisses.

My third birthday was nearing so mom was busy preparing for it and when it finally came, she made me my favorite strawberry cake and my favorite strawberry juice, she decorated the cafe and closed it off for the day so we can enjoy our time alone and when we were about to cut the cake we heard a knock, we both looked at each other wondering who cane right now then we heard another knock which was much stronger than the one before as if attempting to break the door.

Mom walked to the door and asked "who is knocking?" After mom finished talking we heard nothing but silence then a calm but chilly voice talked "alita", mom looked scared once she heard the voice she looked back at me then we heard the voice again "alita, it's me, open the door we need to talk" , mom immediately ran to me she removed everything that was on the table and threw it away, took me from my chair and ran to the basement, she opened a door that I saw for the first time that was right on the floor and under it were stairs that led to a tunnel, she went down the stairs then she talked to me "listen carefully lily, mom made a mistake long ago, she fell in love with the wrong man and she thought that this man also loved her and so she married him, what she didn't know was that he was already married and had two other children, but your mom was already pregnant with the most beautiful princess, everyone was so jealous of the small princess so her mother took her away to protect her" she stayed silent for some time, just looking at me in the eyes then she talked again, "and that princess is you, you have something very special that they want to steal from you, so promise me, no matter what you hear outside don't ever make a sound or go outside unless I come back to get you" she said that then stayed silent for a moment as if thinking then she said "I will definitely come back so stay here, love you" she kissed my cheeks then went back up stairs, put a carpet above the door once again and then I heard a big bang and the sound of wood breaking and although the big bang sounded as if a whole army was marching through but the sound of the footsteps that followed belonged to only one person, after that i heard another footsteps and i know it belonged to mother since I know the sound of her steps, but what gollowed after was the sound of hitting and crashing and then I heard something that sound very familiar to gun shots but also different and after sometime the sound stopped and the sound that started was the sound of fighting, I knew she told to stay put untill she comes back but a feeling told me that I have to go out, i slowly pushed the door open but because of my weak body it was very hard, the sounds outside kepts going I tried once again to lift the door and after some more tries I finally succeeded, I raised it up slowly then started to climb out as calm as I could, I walked to the door of the basement and looked through the gab, a man who was tall was holding a sword but I couldn't see his face since he was tall and I could only see to his shoulders was fighting with mother who also held a sword, it was the first time I know that mom could use a sword and she was even fighting well and it seemed she was winning but then I saw something moving in the shadows and heard the man talking to mother "I see you're strong as ever ali"

[Ali is the pet bame of her mother.]

"I knew I couldn't win against you, spirit guardian and commander of the imperial army" he said while smirking "and that's exactly why I didn't come alone" he suddenly pushed mom back and that's when I noticed what was in the shadows, it was another figure but I couldn't tell whether it was a man or a woman, and another sword gleamed in the shadows, I got up and decided to run out to mother, I don't care who they are but I wasn't gonna stand still and watch her die, I held door knob and started to turn it but that was when it dawned on me, the door was locked with a key but I tried again and again desperately then I started shouting and banging on the door but somehow no matter what I did it seemed as if they didn't hear anything, I started crying and banging desperately and that was when I saw mother looking at me, she smiled and mouthed "I love you" and then the sword went through her heart, I lost all power in me and fell to my knees, my mind went blank and I froze in place, my eyes felt hot and tears were pouring down in silence, I was weak till the very end, I was useless.

As if what they did wasn't enought they started pouring something on the ground then the man went to the door and threw a torch to the ground and the house lit with fire, I didn't move from my plave even when the fire reched the door of the basement, I couldn't move and leave mother behind so I just sat there waiting for death but then I heard a voice "you're just gonna wait for death?" I looked around me and tried to know where the voice came from but it didn't see any thing "I thought you would at least be more of a fighter but you're really different from your mother" I shouted "who are you, come out right now", "kekekeke, I'm already outside, you just didn't look for the right place" I heard giggles then started to look every corner but found nothing "what are you? Are you a ghost" I shouted out again "well, some people certainly call me that" the voice said "I will give you some clues, I'm heavy but once you hold I become light, I come in many shapes and different looks but the essence is the same and you can see your reflection in me" I started thinking about what the voice said, the first answer that cam ti my mind was mirror, I can see my reflection, it has different looks so I looked around but found no mirror so I started thinking once again and that's when it hit me, it wasn't a mirror, it was something that I knew very well, it has different shape but the essence is the same and I can see my reflection.....a reflection at this word I remembered the reflection of the sword that I saw in the shadows and although the idea of a magical sword was unbelievable but somehow at this moment it was very believable so I said "SWORD! The answer is sword" onve I said that I saw light that was very bright and almost blinding but soon it calmed down and when I looked I saw a very shabby sword, it looked old and rusty but once I went closer to it and held it in my hands, as if the previous state never existed, it turned into a very shiny and beautiful sword, it reflected everything as if it's a mirror and it had a jewel impeded onto it and it was the purist jewel I have ever seen but then the voice cut my thoughts again "make a contract with me and I shall be your power, say your name to me and call my name, the name you knew ever since the day you were born, call my name, say your name and call my name and I shall be your sword" the sword gleamed more than ever but then, as if I was possessed I said something that I didn't know that I knew "I Jenny command you akera to be my sword, I Jenny COMMAND YOU Akera to be my SWORD" once I finished saying that, everything turned white, nothing to be heard, nothing to be seen and once the light disappeared all that was left was darkness and I lost consciousness.

End of chapter 3