Lily

CHAPTER ONE

THE CITY OF LAGOS

SADE

"Sade, what is bothering you so much?" Toyin asked me.

Toyin has been my only friend since I moved out of my mom's house. I couldn't bear what I went through in that house anymore; no one was willing to understand me. Everyone called me a liar, everyone...till I met Toyin. Just like me, Toyin suffered the same thing as I did with my mom although her story differs too. She was the one who took me off the streets and provided me with a roof to lay my head under.

"Sade? Ki lo de naw?" What is the problem? She asked, while she rubbed my shoulder.

"I'm just tired of everything really." I said before I stood up and walked the other side of the room. "When will everything get better? I'm sorry I don't mean anything but look at where we stay. Look how much you work every day and you can only get what to use to feed. I feel even worse not being able to help as much as I want." I slumped on the clothed chair, the only chair in the one room apartment we lived.

Toyin stood from the mattress which was laid on the ground to the chair. "Don't tell me we're on this same issue again?" She asked.

"Yes!" I said as tears threatened to drop, "I-I'm tired."

"Sade-- we'll see through this together okay?" She hugged me with so much care and affection. "I'm going to see the chief today, and hopefully he'll give me enough money for the week okay? I love you ore mi" she said as she unwraps her arms from her embrace.

"You be careful okay, Toyin." I said. Although Toyin didn't tell me what she was doing, somewhere in me knew even though I did not want to believe. So I always told her to be careful.

"Yes ahn-- my friend you worry too much," She said smiling. "Oya come and lock the door and don't allow anyone enter the house o, abeg."

"Okay. Please be careful. You know it's late too." I told her again.

"I have heard you ma." She said as she laughed rushing out into the corridor.

I didn't like being alone because it made me remember things I didn't want to, things like my step-father, and what that man did to me. I can never forget the first day he did it to me. I was just 12 years old, my mom and older brother were in the hospital.

I saw my step-dad in his car approaching me as I stood outside the school gate.

"Good afternoon sir." I said to him.

He unbuckles his seat belt then stretches to open the door for me. "Afternoon my daughter, how was school?"

"It was---okay sir. We didn't do a lot today because of the election." I said after I got in and jammed the door.

"Election." He said as he turned the car to head home.

"Yes sir. Our SS3 students were being elected for various prefect-ship posts."

"Oh-- okay," he took a deep breath in then out, "Sade, there's something I want to tell you, and you have to promise you won't cry."

I already wasn't feeling easy with what he said. Did anything happen? Besides it was always my mom who came to pick me but that day it was him. Why would he say I should promise I wouldn't cry?

"What happened?" I asked him, my heart was beating fast.

"Mom and Toju had an accident earlier today when they went to the market to get foodstuff."

"Sir?" I said so quietly, almost like a whisper. I couldn't contain my tears. How did it happen? I thought.

TOYIN

Living in Lagos as a person from a poor background is the worst thing. My mom got pregnant out of wedlock so her parents chased her out of the one room apartment which they lived in on rent. She had no choice but to stay with a boy who happened to like her at Ajegunle in another one-room apartment. When she finally had me, all I ever experienced was hardship and poverty; sometimes I wished she didn't have me. By the time I was sixteen, my mom's boyfriend forced her to chase me out of the house, I couldn't blame him anyways, he was hardly able to feed the three of us and she was expecting a baby for him. She spoke to her brother to take me in and cater for me. My uncle wasn't always the happy man especially because of his snake wife.

"You must be an irresponsible girl!" My uncle yelled at me when we returned from school.

"Uncle, I swear I didn't mean it, I didn't know those girls are bad." I knelt down pleading. I had been caught with some friends who were smoking behind our class block; actually I happened to appear there at the wrong time. I was in the wrong place and at the wrong time.

"You're just like your mom. You're a whore and very soon you will leave my house." He said while he walked away.

Every day it was one argument or the other like, one day one problem; if it wasn't him, it was his wife who even didn't like anything about me.

"Tony your niece, I don't want her corrupting our children." She would say every time I failed to do something right.

It was hell living with him. 4 years of my life was hell and to top it all, my inability to pass JAMB made my uncle and his serpent of a wife call me a waste and he had wasted money on my head all those years in school. One day, it became all too much so left his house with nowhere to go but a church.

I slept in the church for a week until the pastor of that church came to me.

"Hello madam." He said.

My head rested on the chair in front of me.

"Ma." he said again. "Sorry, are you awake?"

"Hmmn" I said, rubbing my face when I raised my head up to face him.

"You've been sleeping in this church for days now; don't you have a place to live?" He asked taking a seat next to me.

"No sir. I have no home."

"A young like you, unbelievable." He said. "Okay, you can come and live with me but, you must serve in this church too."

Just to come to church and I can have a proper place to put my head? I thought to myself. My joy was overwhelming. I almost hugged him but I restricted myself and knelt down instead because he was a man of God to thank him.

For days I stayed at his place; a free house, free food, and free of troubles until one Sunday night...

SADE

"Mummy." I said with tears running out of my eyes.

"Sade?" She said as she opened her eyes slowly, "Omo mi." Her voice was so low.

"Mummy," I held her hand, "mummy ejor ma soro." I said rubbing her hand.

"Where's your brother?" She asked me.

"To--"

"Sade," my step-father walked into the room, "go outside and wait hmm we'll be going home soon."

I was sure he was talking about Toju my older brother with my mom. Few minutes before he came out of the room, my mom shouted, I was wondering what he could have told her. When he came out and jammed the door behind him, I could hear my mom crying. I already guessed it, but I told myself it couldn't be.

"Sade, oya let's go." He said stretching his hands for me to hold.

When we got into the car he just stared at the steering wheel, not starting the car, not saying a word, and then he said it. He said what made my mom scream on her hospital bed.

"Sade, I'm about to tell you what happened to Toju but you must be strong. Toju your brother is dead."

I lost my older brother. The only one who understood me, the only one who actually cared for me, the only one who would protect me at any cost. Not anymore, he was dead. Why him? I thought.

When I got home, my stepfather prepared Eba for me and Egusi soup.

"Oya Sade, wa je wun. Come and eat." He said when he put it on the dining table.

Eat? I just lost my brother, the only one who cared enough for me. Food was the last thing on my mind. I just wanted Toju back though I knew that morning was the last time I would ever see him again. What made me even feel worse was the fact that I couldn't cry, I just lost my brother and I could not cry.

"Sade, why are you just playing with your food?" He asked after seeing that I kept putting the lump of Eba in my hand in the soup.

"Nothing sir." I replied.

"I know how you feel, in time you and your mom will-you and your mum will forget it."

Forget it? Forget it? I said in my thoughts. Who forgets things like this?

"I'm not hungry anymore." I said, standing from the dinning chair and walked into my room.

Throughout that day I didn't come out of my room. I was just on the bed staring at the ceiling trying hard to think of Toju so I could cry but nothing dropped from my eyes till I fell asleep.

TOYIN

I had just finished having my bath and came out of the bathroom with my towel wrapped around me when the Pastor Debo walked into my room with me as I was about to jam the door. "Pastor-what-what are you doing in my room?" I asked him.

"Ahan! What kind of question is that?" He said closing the door quietly and coming towards me.

"What if I was naked? You didn't even knock sir."

"So, what if you're naked? This is my house and I deserve to see you naked." He said smiling.

I couldn't believe my ears; a man of God? Before I knew it he started unbuttoning his shirt.

"Toyin, Toyin tomato-see I love you and-and God has revealed to me that I must sleep with you."

"Pastor Debo, I don't understand, please." I stared at him in disbelieve, holding my towel firmly. "I think I should leave the house for a moment." I said walking towards the door when he grabbed me and threw me on the bed.

"Pastor!" I shouted in disbelieve, my mouth opened and breathing fast.

"Toyin! You've been staying in my house, eating my food, living a good life and you think it's all for free, you don't want to give me anything in return for my generosity and kindness?"

"Sir please, please. I'm not doing this...aren't you a pastor? Please--"

All my begging and crying fell on deaf ears, he didn't care, that stupid man raped me-he raped me on a Sunday without mercy. He took my virginity.

SADE

I felt something touch me that night as I slept. I moved myself to make sure it was nothing.

I felt it again so I opened my eyes and I saw him above me.

"Sade, don't worry I'm just here to make sure you're okay." He said in a low tone.

"Sir?" I said as my heart raced.

"Don't scream okay? I'm just here to make sure you're okay don't cry." He said as he reached for his trousers zip.

"Si-sir-what-no sir." I was trembling; I couldn't move maybe it was out of the fear in me.

"Shhhh." He said as he used his palm to cover my mouth.

"I've always wanted to do this with you. You're too beautiful, slim, and-and you're so young."

I wanted to scream as he made his way through me but, my voice was too terrified to shout out, now the tears I wanted since I found out that my brother was dead finally poured out. Poured out because now. I was truly alone in the world...

SADE

Too bad for me, my mother loved her husband so much, I knew she would never have believed me if I told her that her so-called husband was sleeping with his twelve years old step daughter. I never really liked the man, which was why I never acknowledged calling him daddy; no matter how many times my mum would scold me. Ever since my brother passed away, mom's relationship with me got even worse. It was bad before, not this bad.

"Sade! Sade!"

"Yes mom." I answered.

"Have you prepared the food for your dad? You know by tomorrow I'd be travelling and you'll have to be the one doing all the cooking and taking care of my husband."

"Yes mom." I replied, staring at the floor. I don't remember the last time I looked her in the eyes.

"If you like, seduce my husband with all these clothes you're wearing you hear?"

What was wrong with the clothes I was wearing? I thought. Mom became abusive towards me and somehow over protective of her rapist husband as if I was a competition in her own home. Every time I came home late from school because of our extra lessons she would shout and yell that I was meeting with my boyfriends and male teachers.

She was always in my ears nagging two-four-seven. I remember Toju was my only protector. He would have defended me by telling mom to 'listen to herself', but I was not like him. I was quiet, slow, and reserved. Maybe that was why she didn't trust me. I was exactly like dad.

Coming back to reality I remembered I was still in the room, I looked at the wall clock.

"Twelve," I reached for my phone, "maybe she'll soon call." So I dropped my phone closer to me.

"Vmmmmm-vmmm." My phone vibrated, it was Toyin calling.

"Toyin, aren't you coming home today? I've been worried."

"Sorry Chief didn't want me to leave but now my Uber ride is bringing me home."

"Okay."

"Yes. And oh please stay up a little more, so when I come I'll call and you can respond quickly."

"Okay, just get here safe."

Finally she called so I went to the bed and sat down to wait for her.

TOYIN

The night that incident happened with the pastor, I left his house not taking a single thing except for the clothes I quickly put on when he had finished, never returning there again. I felt disgusted with everything--even myself.

"How could God allow someone to do this to me?" I asked myself.

It changed my faith and I stopped believing there was God, because if he did exist he would have done something, anything to stop that man from raping me. And by the way, how could he appoint such a person to be his servant? I thought

Days I spent on the streets of Lagos, hungry, dirty, and smelling until one night; I saw a number of girls standing on the road side. All dressed in slutty clothing. Is there a party somewhere? I thought.

"E kurole ma." I greeted to one of them.

She looked away from her phone screen and looked at me from head to toe. "Mtchewwwww." She hissed and looked back at her screen.

One by one at times two at once, cars came to pick the ladies until it was just I and the one who hissed at me.

"Where are those ladies going to with those men?" I asked.

"Sorry young lady, but are you an Ashawo?" She asked.

"Ashawo? No, I reject it!" I replied to her.

"Eh ehn mo-mother Mary, mother of God." She looked at me from head to toe. "Mtchewww."

For a while we stood there together, no car stopped to pick her.

She sighed. "I'm going home. Bye-bye Mary."

"Wait!" I didn't expect that from my lips, maybe it was out of an act of desperation and fear that I might die out of hunger soon, "please, I-I don't have anywhere to go; please can I just stay with you for tonight then move on from there?"

She looked at me for a while. "Are you sure you're not a witch?"

"Ah no o, please." I begged her.

After she stared at me for a little while, she finally accepted.

Back at her home she gave me food to eat and water to have my bath. She not only allowed me to stay one day but a whole week at her place without having to do a thing. So I was determined to repay her kindness in any way.

"Sister Funke, you have been so kind to me since you brought me here. Please how may I be of help in return?"

"You want help? Toyin-I was once like you, I didn't have anywhere to call my home. I'm just repaying the person who also helped me when I was like you." She replied, and then walked to the door about to leave the house.

"But," I called out to her, "please I also need a job." I told her.

"Job, hope you know I'm a night worker?" She asked me.

"Night worker?" I wondered what she meant.

She takes a deep in then out, releasing her hand from the door handle. "Ashawo." She replied.

I knew it's not something I would love to do but at least I would be getting money and I could be able to stand on my own. So she took me to her boss that day that enrolled me into their company. And that was where I met the chief, my regular and loyal customer.

SADE

In my sleep, I heard a noise, like someone banging the door. I tried ignoring it but it only increased more and more till I finally opened my eyes.

"Sade!" Toyin called my name as she kept banging the door from outside.

"Jesus! Toyin, oh my--" I jumped out of bed and rushed to the door to let her in. I must have fallen asleep while I was waiting for her.

"Sade ahan! I've been calling since," she looked at me with frowned eyebrows, "ahan!" She shouted again.

"I swear Toyin I'm sorry, I slept off while waiting."

"Eh ehn, check your phone and see how many times I called you." She said taking off who heels.

I went to the bed to check my phone while she locked the door. When I picked my phone, I stared at the screen with my mouth open.

"How many times?" She asked as she also checked hers. "Thirty missed calls!" She said.

"Ma binu ore mi." I said pleading.

"It's okay...I'm exhausted please, I want to sleep. Good night okay." She said as she fell on the bed without taking off her clothes. At least I was happy that she got home safely. I loved her very much.

On my sixteenth birthday, my mum fell terribly ill. I feared she was going to die too. My step dad took her to the hospital where we were told she'd been poisoned. I thought who will want to kill my mother? As mean as she is to me she was always kind to outsiders I used to wonder if she was the same woman who's my mom and she barely ate outside. So who?

Same day that night my step-dad came to my room like he did every other night since I was twelve to sleep with me. One thing that surprised me was the fact that my mom never was aware of him sneaking out of the room. She slept so deep of late when she returned from work and had eaten.

"You're the one right?" I asked him when he was done violating me.

"Sorry?" He asked while buttoning his shirt.

"You're the one who poisoned my mother. For how long have you been doing it now?"

Tears hung on my eyelids ready to pour out.

"Sade, omo kekere," he said then chuckled, "for as long as I want to have you, I will keep drugging your mother." He licked his lips staring at me.

I felt enraged and sprung out of my bed looking at him eye to eye as I shouted. "I'm going to tell her-you just wait!" My heart was pounding fast and my voice screeched while I spoke.

He walked to my door about to leave but turned to look at me. "You would do no such thing, I'm sure you want to keep living in this house. You know she loves me and not you." Then he left.

I fell to the bed, crying, he was right. She didn't love me, she even said it herself once. "Only a matter of time and I would leave this hell hole. And I swear, I will never return back to this place." I said to cheer myself up with the words, "by next year I'll be off to university."

This was my problem with Toyin; anytime she was extremely tired she occupied the whole bed leaving me with no choice but to lie on the sofa.

*

When I woke the next morning, Toyin was already dressed to go out.

"Toyin, where do you dey go?" I asked her, my eyes still heavy.

"Chief." She said.

"Chief? What happened to him?"

"He just called and asked me to come today for the money."

I looked at the clock and saw it was eleven in the morning. "Toyin-you just came from his house this few hours ago."

"Sade," She said smiling, "owo is involved, money is involved. I'll see you when I get back." She said, took her hand bag and left immediately leaving me alone in the house again.

TOYIN

For a long time, chief had been my god. Anywhere he needed me to be, whether I was with a client or not, I rushed to him without hesitation. For some time now I had asked the Chief to give me money so I could travel out of the country and have a better life.

"Chief, you said you love me right?" I said after I finished satisfying the pot-bellied man in bed.

"Yes my tomato. Mo love eyn gon!" He said as he rubbed my back.

"Okay. You know you said you were going to give me money yesterday." I said while I played with his right nipple with my fingers.

"Ooouu-Toyin, ki lo fe shey?" He asked because I looked at him. He already knew I was about to do what kills him; I bent my head to his chest and sucked the nipple which I played with. Chief loved it when I did this to him.

"Okay I will send you five hundred thousand to your account, if we go one more run."

"Chief!" I said in awe at the amount of money he called.

"Or is it too small? Oya seven hundred thousand."

All my life I had never heard of such money. All my life of working as a sex worker I never received such money. Seven hundred thousand naira! Of course I went another round with him for such a huge amount of money, in fact not just one; we went from another to another and another, three rounds.

When it was evening and I was ready to go home, I moved away from his embrace and sat on the bed, my eyes caught our unfinished glass of wine and had a sip from it. After that I stood up and walked into the bathroom to have my bath, and then I dressed up to leave for home.

"Toyin, where are you going?" He asked after I finished dressing.

"Chief it's evening already, I'm going home." I walked to him who was still lying on the bed, gave him a kiss and then emptied the remaining wine in my cup down my throat.

"Ah! Please, e jor, please just stay this night with me again. That thing I drank has not left my body. I still want more."

"I'm tired Chief, I can't do again." I protested.

"Okay. I'll give you the money directly in your hands." He said then walked to the wardrobe and removed a big brown paper which he threw on the bed. "There, eight hundred thousand naira Toyin."

Eight hundred thousand was a lot, I knew what it'll do in Sade's and my life. Although chief was my god, I was also a worshipper who needed rest. I knew what the additional hundred thousand meant and I wasn't going to do it again. I sat at the tip of the bed.

"Chief--I'm going please don't be angry, but thank you for the money sir, I really appreciate it. I'm just already tired." I said.

He looked disappointed. "Okay, I'm sorry dear." He said.

I stood up about to leave but then, I felt drowsy, I was very weak and couldn't move, so I fell back on the bed then blacked out.

HOW WE MET

TOYIN

When I woke up, I didn't even know what the time was, Chief was no longer in the room. I still felt very weak and I found out I was naked too, my clothes not anywhere in my range. Did chief drug me? I thought.

It was difficult but I was finally able to sit up, I felt a terrible headache that made it seem like my head was going to explode. I could still see the brown paper bag exactly where he had dropped it on the bed; I quickly reached for my bag on the floor to get my phone so I could call Sade.

SADE

"What?!" I shouted while Toyin spoke to me through the phone, "I'm coming right there now." I said already putting on my rubber slippers and rushed out of the room. Luckily the hotel in which they lounged was not so far from home, I took a bike to the hotel. While on my journey I could do nothing but pray Toyin was alright and I wondered why her so-called loyal customer would do such a thing to her.

*

After I was through with secondary school, I told myself that it was finally time to take action against my step father and leave the house for him and his wife, my mother. On my day of graduation from secondary school, I knew for certain that that night he was going to come for me. So I prepared myself for the night. I made up my mind that if anything that night would be the last time he would defile me. I boiled oil in a fry pan and turned it into a silver plate, I had taken note of the time he comes in, and it was almost time so I rushed into my room and hid the oil under my bed. Maybe he always came at that particular time because the drug he gives my mom must have kicked in.

"Sade, omo dudu to fine." Sade, fine black girl. He said when he came, his eyes shining like a hungry lion.

It was too disgusting. He was so disgusting every time he said that. I had no choice but brace myself for what was about to happen but that day I promised to make a difference. Before he came to me I stood up and started to seduce him before he could force me to the bed.

"Ahan this girl you have finally come to terms. I always knew you enjoy what I've been giving you all these years." Enjoy? I wished I had a knife to stab him. What irritated me the more was how his penis started to erect and touch me. Just remembering it gives me goose bumps even now.

I dragged him close to my bed, the smile he had on his face. I bent down to his penis, unzipped his trousers and reached for my weapon. Immediately I reached it I grabbed it and threw the hot oil on his penis.

"Ahhhhhhhh! Yeeeeeeh! Aahhh!" He screamed at the top of his voice. Immediately I gave him a hot slap and hit the silver plate on his face. He fell on my bed still shouting. I opened the door about to make a run for it when my mother appeared in front of me. We stood and stared at each other for a while, and then she brushed into my room to attend to her husband.

"What have I done just now?" I asked myself as I watched them. "It serves you right, stupid impotent fool." Those were my last words before I left my mom's house. My mother didn't even stop me from running, she didn't deem it right to chase after me, to hug me, to tell me I've been through. She stayed with her husband.

*

"Toyin!" I shouted when I barged into the room she told me she was in.

"I'm weak Sade. I can't stand." She said.

"Don't worry. Toyin where are your clothes?" I couldn't believe what I saw; she was bleeding from her private part.

"S-ade." Her voice was fainted, "h--ho--"

"No no, ma soro ejor - please don't talk." I started crying.

"Let me rush downstairs to get help and some clothes for you." I told her then rushed down for help.

TOYIN

"Kini mo shey fun Chief that he should do me like this?" What did I do to the chief that he did this to me? I thought.

"Kini mo shey fun Olorun?" What did I do to God? I asked still in my thoughts.

I felt life sipping away from me little by little, I started getting dizzy. Just in time Sade barged in with help this time and a white sheet. I heard her shouting "Please help me carry her down fast, fast." Then it all went from blurry, to black.

*

One night, one of those nights where no customer came looking for my service I closed early and was on my way home when I met a young girl crying. It was late and the streets are not safe so I approached her to know if she was okay.

"Hello," I said when I reached her, "what is a small girl like yourself doing out by this time?"

She started crying even more.

"Where are your parents?" I asked her looking around. "Who beat you?"

Well, at least I had tried my best so I decided to leave her and go home.

"Auntie." She said when I was about "please, I-I ran away from home, I don't have a home."

I looked at her for a while. "Why did you runaway?" I asked. She didn't speak but the look in her eyes seemed like she has been through a lot. "Okay-you should follow me."

Ever since then, I took care of her like she was my sister. She told me everything she had been through in the hands of her mom and step-dad. It made me remember what happened at my uncle's and that pastor's. So I made a promise to take care of her and make sure I protected her. I got a job for her but as an attendant in a grocery store. Just like me, she always wanted to help out to make things easy for us at home.

SADE

Toyin, Toyin was like Toju was to me since she took me in. For the first few months she provided everything I needed before she got me a job in a grocery store. Although the pay wasn't so much at least I felt happy assisting her. She always promised me we wouldn't be in Nigeria for so long, that we were going abroad soon to live our best out of life.

I stood helpless as the nurses pushed her into a room. I came back to my senses and decided to rush into the room as well but I was stopped by a nurse.

"Excuse me you're not allowed into the emergency room." She said

"Ma, please my sister is in there."

"No! Please, you have to stay here." She said then went into the room and shut the door.

I stood outside for a long time, I can't even remember how long. But when I got tired of standing I went to the waiting room to have a seat where I slept off.

"Madam, madam." a nurse stood in front of me, tapping me so I can wake up.

"Ehn?" I said rubbing my face with my hand as though it'll wipe out the sleep in my eyes.

"Your sister is in room 144, upstairs. You can go and see her, she might be asleep though but you should see her."

Without hesitation I stood from the chair and walked my way upstairs to room 144. When I opened the door there was another patient inside too, a woman--she was asleep but Toyin was already awake.

Toyin smiled when she saw me, she looked pale and tired but she was happy to see me.

"Sade." She said with a weak smile on her face.

"Ore mi." My friend, I said when I held her hand.

"I feel like I'm dying-I-I don't know what chief has done to me."

"No no no don't say that Toyin." I moved her hand I was holding towards my lips so I can kiss it. Her hand was very cold. Toyin's fair skin now looked almost white. I figured she lost a lot of blood, I couldn't bear to lose her, she really did look like she was dying but I didn't want to think so, besides she can't.

"My bag, Sade." She said. "Where's my bag Sade?"

"It's with me, see it," I said, picking the bag from the floor to show her.

"Okay." She said and closed her eyes. She fell asleep.

*

Every day I went to the hospital to check on her but she wasn't getting any better. The doctors said they didn't know what was wrong with her and that it was only God who could save my best friend.

God, I thought. Toyin didn't believe in God, how could He save her? I myself was not much of a believer too but still, I prayed for my friend. At least I knew God as a merciful being. In a long time, I stepped my feet into the church, I could not believe myself. I had told myself years ago since my brother died that God didn't work. I found myself in front of the altar of a Catholic church, praying.

"God, I'm sorry for all my sins and for running away from you, I ask that you please forgive me. I'm here today because of my friend and my sister - Toyin. Please let her be well in Jesus name. Amen." As I prayed, genuine tears fell from my eyes.

TOYIN

I was finally sitting up, laughing and requesting for more and more food and I was beginning to feel strong. I remember the joy in Sade's eyes when she saw that I was recuperating quickly since she prayed for me. Maybe it was time that I went back to God. I had been a prodigal daughter for so long. First thing when I get out of the hospital tomorrow, I'll go to a church. I thought.

"I thought I was going to lose you o." Sade said moving from the chair she sat to sit my bed.

"Me? Me I cannot die o. Until I leave this Nigeria, I'm not going anywhere. God sef knows." I said and we both laughed at my joke. The woman who shared the room with me kept smiling and laughing too. She looked like she was in her late thirties, a pretty smallish woman who already had four kids which would surprise you if she told you. I had become close to one of them, my name sake - Toyin. She was only four years old.

"Oya you people should tell aunty Toyin bye bye." She said on the day she was being discharged.

"Bye bye aunty Toyin!" They all shouted which made Sade and I laugh. How cute children can be, I thought.

Since she had left it was just Sade and I in the room. Sade held my hand again. "I thought the worst." She said.

"I know," I said with a smile, "You're Miss Worry now." I said and laughed at my joke. She also joined me in laughing.

"Thank God you'll be coming home tomorrow." She said.

"Yeah, I would." We starred at each other for a while just happy that we're both together. "That reminds me, did you take any brown paper bag in the hotel room?"

"Yes, I did. It was full of money Toyin."

"I know. It was Chief who gave it to me. We'll use it to start something at least, for ourselves." I said

Sade smiled. "Okay. But, what of that chief wouldn't you inform the police?"

"Mn mn no need for all that Sade. We have the money, that's what is important, okay?" I said, caressing her face.

"Okay." She said with a smile, I knew it was faked though but it just wanted to forget anything that'll draw me back.

When visiting hours were over and Sade left for home, I laid back in bed, staring into the white light and thinking of how far I had come. Maybe I should use the money to do something for myself here in Lagos. Maybe get a mall and fill with groceries. Those sorts of things seemed to be moving well or perhaps I left for the United States with Sade or just on my own get a job there then bring Sade in later.

All these thoughts flowed through my mind; I just wanted a better life. Maybe when she returns the next day, she and I would decide on what to do with the eight hundred thousand naira in my bag. I slept with a thankful heart to God and a smile on my face because finally, finally, my life story would be different, our life story.