Life of an African Gay Man.

I still remember the day it all began, the day I realized I wasn't like everyone else, the day I realized I was different, maybe in a different place or time it could have being a good thing or even be celebrated but that was definitely not my fate, mine was to be a cast out reject over something I couldn't control.

"Hey Daniel, it's your turn to spin the bottle"

"Oh yes"

It all started with the infamous not so harmless game TRUTH OR DARE, I can't really remember the exact date, maybe if I had known at the time how significant that day would become in my life I would have spared a little more time memorizing the date. This was my first time playing truth or dare, I mostly preferred to pick up a book or just zone into my fantasy island in my spare time rather than play games like that but not this time, this time peer pressure won me over or more accurately Israel coerced me into playing. As I spun the bottle, I had no idea what was supposed to happen next, mainly because while the game had already being going on for more twenty minutes, my mind had taken a long trip to the island of possibility based on my last week's tests. Finally the bottle stopped spinning; the head of the bottle was facing Israel while the other end was facing Michael's direction. While I was still trying to figure out what the bottle positioning meant, there was already a loud outburst of amusement which at the time I had no idea why but I later learnt that it was because ever since the game began Israel had being daring Michael to do the craziest of things, things too crazy to put on paper and now it was finally Michael's turn to do the daring and there was no way in heaven he was going to go easy on Israel.

With a wide villainous smile spread across his face "Truth or dare" he said.

"Dare"

"Are you sure" Michael asked like he actually cared, it was no news that Michael was one the most ruthless people in the whole school, some might even go as far as calling him a bully which honestly wasn't up to an arm length away from the truth.

Yes bring it on; I can handle anything you throw at me" Israel said with a very confident look on his face proving that he meant what he said

"Okay if you say so" Michael stands up and walks slowly around the room, scrolling his eyes through everyone's faces like he was looking for someone in particular, or was he?

Walking around pacing very slowly like a Russian cartel mob boss, with everyone was staring at him anxiously, waiting for him to utter his dare. Silence filled the room, although there were a few whispers here and there but this level of silence and absolute concentration was questionable especially from someone like me who had zero clues whatsoever on what was going on. There was such a strong dramatic tension unlike anything I have ever seen and there I was, sitting down like a clueless duck hoping that someone would shed some light to the scene so I could better understand what in the name of Godzilla was going on. It had being almost a minute and Michael was still pacing around like a third tier villain, suddenly he stopped and fixated his gaze on me, which was both weird and shocking mainly because we are all in our fourth year in the same secondary school, although I just transferred to the school that year we have spent at least six months together in the same four wall and I could beat my chest and swear on my life that I and Michael had never said as much as hello to each other even though we knew each other quite well thanks to Israel. But seriously I was so confused, why on the earth was he looking at me in such manner, was this also a part of the game. Finally he took his gaze of me and walked towards Israel who was sitting worry free, almost as if he was not bothered and was already prepared for whatever dare Michael threw at him. Michael standing in front of Israel with the same villainous smile plastered across his face, he slightly bends down in order to make eye contact with his prey, finally the man of the hour was about to make his grand dare, the sound in room dropped dead, everyone was as silent as a corpse, the only sound that could be heard was the never stopping creaking sound of the ceiling fan as everyone paid close attention, following the every movement of his lips, everyone including me, I too was very much interested in hearing exactly what sort of dare he had to offer that could be worth such decorum.

With a cool calm voice he said "Israel I dare you to romance Daniel in every way possible"

This caused a very loud uproar, no one expected him to utter such a dare. I too was about to join the uproar when my brain eventually clicked

"Wait a sec, did he just mention my name"

As soon as this realization dawned on me, I tried to make a run for it but the crowd kept pushing me back, I tried to explain to them that I was not interested in participating in this dare but they kept on insisting that since I was a part of the game, there was no out for me, that definitely the most stupidest game rule I have ever heard.

At this point it was me against over thirty student, participants of the game and viewers alike, it was obvious that everyone was eager to watch Israel my friend romance the hell out me, and here I thought schools were for smart people, I mean it was as if they all forgot that we were both guys and any form of gay act was not only considered to be disgusting but also forbidden. I looked over to Israel hoping that he would be tell them to let me go and he would pay the fine of forfeiting a dare but instead he was still sitting, rubbing his knuckles with his palm like he was about to enter a rap battle.

"Israel, help me!!!" I yelled.

He looks up at me and gives the "I am sorry but this has to happen" eyes, it was in this moment I knew that I had lost; Israel himself was ready to the sinful.

"Okay okay fine but there is no music so he can't dance without music..." before I couldn't complete my sentence, my voice was enveloped by loud bangs on the desk which were followed by harmonious melodic table beating; they were making a beat for Israel. As the drumming continued Israel stood and walked up to me

"It's alright, just sit down, it would not take long" he said directing me to take a seat.

Nervous as hell, I took my seat and then that was when it began, Israel started by dancing in front of me like stripper, I don't which was more surprising the fact that he was dancing in front of me like a stripper or the fact that I was not irritated by it. I was a guy and from all my knowledge on sexuality which was vastly based on my nationality, guys supposed to get irritated by the site of such but instead I started feeling weird, Goosebumps crawling all over my skin.

"What is happening, what is this strange sensation" I thought to myself as the crowd kept chanting and singing.

Just when I thought I had seen it all, another card from the surprise deck was pulled out, Israel started coming closer to me in a seductive manner and when he reached breath length, he started touching my skin with the tip of his fingers, this sent waves running through my spin, the Goosebumps I had double up, my brain stopped functioning to the extent even an easy task such breathing became a problem, it was like nothing I had ever felt. All this while Israel was wearing a completely emotionless face which could only mean that all what he was doing to me had no effect on him whosever. He made a move to slowly drag his hands to the lower part of my body and immediately his fingers touched my thighs I snapped, sprang up and sprinted out of the class, I couldn't take it anymore. The cup was full and it was very much dripping.

Everyone assumed I ran out because I got too irritated and couldn't take it anymore, yes they were right I couldn't take it anymore but not because I was too irritated, it was something many would believe to be much more worse. The truth was immediately Israel placed the tip of his fingers on my thigh, I felt a bulge in my trousers, I had an erection and that could only mean one thing.

"but it's impossible I am Nigerian male, there is no way I could be gay, right" I thought to myself but there it was, the evidence right beneath me, I had an erection from been touched on the thigh by a fellow man, that was more than enough proof to show that I was indeed gay. In this moment of realization I knew that my world was about to change in ways I couldn't even begin to fathom.

"There's no way I could be gay, right" I asked myself as I walked aimlessly towards the hostel area even though I was fully aware that the hostels were locked during this time of the day but I needed to clear my head and gather my thoughts and the class area wasn't just doing the trick. I sat down by the side of the school kiosk thinking aloud to myself, lucky for me there was no one around the vicinity that could hear me if not I could easily been considered mad or worse they could have heard what I was saying to myself.

"My parents aren't gay, none of my family members are gay so there is no way I could be gay right" immediately that idea slipped through my lips, I realized how stupid and unrealistic it was, I had watched more than enough American soap operas to know that was not how it works, but still I couldn't just accept the fact that I was gay, I was sure that I was at least bi if not fully straight, that was something I was certain about, I just needed a way to prove it to myself at the least.

While I was still lost in thought concerning the spectrum of my sexuality, I heard my name followed by a soft tap on the shoulder; it was a JSS three student, one whom I was quite familiar with.

"Hey!! Collins what are doing here, aren't you supposed to be in class" I asked looking around, wondering what the hell he was doing here and how long he had been standing there prior to my knowledge, could he have heard me talking to myself.

"I could ask you the same thing but you are my senior so wouldn't"

"Watch your tongue young man" I said in a more authoritative manner, although I was just a class ahead of him, he was still obligated to respect and obey my words at all times, it was kind of an unsaid rule of the school .

"So I'm going to ask you one more time, what are you doing here"

"Senior Michael and some other seniors asked me to come and look for you, they said I should tell to come back to the class, that they want to show you something and that it is very urgent"

"Ok thank you, now go back to your class before any teacher sees you, so you don't get in trouble" with this he hurriedly left like a messenger hawk would after delivering a message.

My immediate reaction to the message was that there no way I was going to return back to that class anytime soon, I just couldn't do it, I mean how was I going to look at their face after what had happened, especially Israel, he had being my closest friend since I transferred to the school, how was he going to react to the realization of the fact that I was turned on by his touch, he was the closest person to me when it happened not to mention the fact that his hands were on my lap so the chances of him not knowing what had happened where slimmer than a camel entering the eye of a needle.

And that was when it hit me, after a few minutes of thinking and consideration I realized that me going back to the class now was the next best thing for me to do because I don't would only raise more eyebrows and draw more suspicion to my predicament. There was a fair chance that no one knew what really happened and the actual reason why I ran out the class like I was being chased by a mad dog, no one except Israel ofcuz, but that was something I would have to find a way of dealing with some other time, as for now my main priority was to protect my image at all cost.

"Come on Daniel you can do this, just fly like butterfly and sting like a bee, my name is Daniel with an e"

Immediately I open the door of the classroom, there was a loud uproar, the same chant that could only be heard when a celebrity like Burna Boy steps on the stage.

"E don come o" that was the only statement I managed to hear as everything else was all matched up together, a perfect example of barbarians talking in thousands. I walked in the midst of the crowd which was surprisingly made up of only about thirty people, but to me they felt like a full stadium. I was honestly frightened and totally clueless on why they were all acting this way. "Do they all know what actually happened, could Israel have told them" while I was still trying to figure out what the whole fuzz was about, Israel and Michael popped out from the crowd and walked up to my direction and almost immediately a clear circle was formed, leaving only Michael, Israel and I inside of it.

"Daniel, I am so sorry I had absolutely no idea that you were highly homophobic as me, if I knew I would never have dared Israel to seduce you like that, I am sorry, I really am" He said with a tone that sounded like he was forced to make to make an apology statement but still, did Michael Friday the biggest guy in my set just apologies to me in front of the whole class?.

Michael was not just the biggest in size but in status and popularity so having a person like him apologize to me in front of the entire class was a really big deal. I looked over to Israel, trying to read his face and check if he knew what had happen or what exactly was going on right now, but all he gave off was a vague bright smile, still as unpredictable as ever.

Turning back to face Michael "Okay I get that you are sorry and I accept your apology but what's with the whole celebrity welcome ceremony"

"Ooh them, don't mind them, they are just excited to watch the game go down"

"What game"

"Oh I guess they haven't informed you yet, see the thing is, when you left we continued playing the Truth or Dare game"

"So? I still don't get how that has anything to do with me or this standup ovation"

"Relax Fresh blood let me tell the tale, so get this" using his hands to make a comedic illustration. "It was Israel's turn and he was to dare Sophie, so Israel dared Sophie to French kiss you once you get back"

Shocked to my bone marrow "Israel asked Sophie to what now"

I asked not because I didn't hear him the first time but because I wanted him to repeat what he said one more so I could be sure my ears weren't just playing a trick on me and I heard exactly what I heard. Michael already slowly getting angry, one thing he hated more than anything was haven to repeat himself

With a slightly provoked tone "I said Israel dared Sophie to French kiss you, you know Sophie right?"

Of cause I knew who Sophie was. She was proclaimed to be one of the hottest girls in our set, one the people in my set I haven't exactly gotten the chance to talk to yet and now I would get to be French kissed by her. I can't say this was a dream come true because honestly I had never dreamt of this kind of thing happening, it was more of an out of the blue event for me, but the question still remained, why did she agree to do the dare, she could have easily paid the fine and skipped the dare but instead she chose to go ahead with it.

I decided not to continue trying to figure out why she made such decision besides this was the perfect opportunity I needed to prove to myself that I was indeed bi and not gay plus I get to French kiss Sophie, if this is not a perfect example of killing two birds with one stone I don't know what is.

The crowd were still chanting, the hour was at hand, there was a big circle with only Sophie and I in it, I looked at her with a quirky smile, trying to read her face and find out what exactly she was thinking, doing something as unexpected as this, to my utmost surprise she was actually blushing which was definitely something I didn't see coming, this day was a Santa pouch filled with surprises. She walked slowly towards my direction and before I could blink twice, her lips were already a breath length away from mine, it was happening, I was going to get me my first kiss.

"Hello, what is going on there?"

On hearing this everybody scattered and most ran for cover. Nobody knew where the voice came from but we all knew who it was. It was Mr. Oni one of the top no nonsense teacher of the school and he had just interrupted what was supposed to become the most important day of my life, my pain knew no bound.

"Settle down everyone, because of time I am going ignore whatever was going on and hope that it never repeats itself, I'm I clear."

"Yes Sir" we said in unison.

"Good, so our topic for today is....."

As the class was going on I found it really had to concentrate after the eventful rollercoaster of a day I had experienced. Then I heard a whisper of my name from my back, to see who it was, to my not so surprise it was Israel.

"Hey Bro, I just want to say I am sorry for what happened earlier"

I already knew he was sorry, but somehow it felt good to hear him say it. "It's fine"

"Danny please borrow me your hairbrush"

Confused "What hairbrush"

"The one in your pocket, you cannot even deny it because I have already seen it" I immediately understood what he was talking about.

"Oh that hair brush, sorry I already Senior Jeff borrowed it" I lied.

"Okay"

Israel thought the bulge he saw in my trousers was a hair brush, this was such a big relief, my biggest nightmare was over at least that was what I thought.

It was past Light out, the whole hostel was silent, everyone was asleep, everyone except me but how could I. That night, I couldn't sleep, every time I tried to close my eyes, all I could see was how messed up my life was about to be. Personally my biggest fear wasn't the fact that I was gay although that too was a lot scary but I mean I wasn't the first man to be sexually interested in his fellow man but it was the fact that, where I come from homosexuality was not welcomed in the slightest.

It is so stigmatized that there is even a rigid law against it, how was I supposed to survive in a world where my mere existence is considered as a crime and given the same punishment with a convicted murderer. This were the thoughts that haunted me as I laid back on my bed wondering what kind of terror the future held for me. The more I pondered, I began to wonder if there were other guys like me, guys who were stuck in a spectrum of sexuality they would rather not want, if there indeed are guys like me, was there an chance some of them were in this same school with me.

As I laid on the bed lost in thoughts, I could feel eyelids slowly coming to a close. The day was quite an eventful one and it was time for me to carry my worries to the next.

"ooh my goodness, who thought it was a good idea to turn on music by this time of the day" I said with my eyes still closed, the noise got louder and I could hear people chatting, I opened my eyes to see what exactly what was going and what I saw was way beyond my lips could describe.

"Hey, you are finally awake" wondering who was that, I turned over and it was Israel.

"What do you mean I am finally awake, where the f*ck are we"

"You tell me"

"What is that supposed to mean" I asked confused

"Look around and tell me what does this place look like"

That was definitely not the answer I was looking for but we Africans we love answering questions with another question. I stood up from the extra soft couch I was sitting so I could be able to get a better view of where exactly I was and, Oh my freaking bananas I was in a strip club, not just any strip club, a gay strip club with half naked men walking around serving as waiters, about three full naked men were on a podium dancing on a pole, I assume they were strippers, with other fully clothed men watching and goggling their eyes over the strippers like hungry wolfs impatiently waiting to bounce on their prey. It was like nothing I have ever seen, I had no idea places like this even existed.

"Israel, please tell me this not a gay strip club"

"I see you've already figured it out, you truly are genius"

Already bursting with frustration "Figured what out"

On seeing I was get frustrated, he quitted the sarcastic tone "Errm... that we are in a..."

"....Why are we here and more importantly how on earth did we get here?"

"Well firstly we are here because you wanted to be here and Sec..."

"...What do you mean I wanted to be here?" I was confused why I would want to be in a place like this.

Disregarding my question, he continued with his reply to my previous question which I interrupted. "Secondly, you brought us here"

Okay I know all what Israel has being telling since I got here were really confusing and a little bit cryptic but this was definitely the most cryptic and confusing one yet. What did he mean by I brought us here, I mean how can I bring us to somewhere I don't even know? As I was about to ask him what he meant by his statement I felt a tight arm grip across my waste.

"Hey there Fresh blood"

I fought free from the arm clutch, moved a few inches away and turned to see who it was; this had to be the biggest surprise yet.

"Michael!!"

"Yes baby"

Ignoring the fact that he just called me baby, which was indeed very awkward, strange and weird but I still had more awkwardly stranger things to worry about.

"What are you doing here?"

Michael was the most homophobic person I have ever met, he literally couldn't stand the sight of any act of gayism, he hated the whole concept of homosexuality and was ever ready to prove his hatred at every chance he gets. I was sure he did the whole truth or dare gay romance thing just to find out if any of us was gay so he could make their life a living hell, he was one person I could never let my current predicament come to light to. And now he was in a gay strip club, grabbing my waist and calling me baby, I mean could this day get anymore awkwardly weird and strangely surprising.

"Who cares what I am doing, all that matter is that I am here right.... Hey Israel, please tell me this fresh blood has not been bothering you too with questions like that.

Israel responded with a light chuckle.

And just when I thought things couldn't get anymore awkwardly weird and strangely surprising. Michael climbed unto one of the tables and yelled "Hey!!! Can I please get everyone's attention" and to my utmost surprise everyone in the club stopped whatever they were doing even the DJ stopped the music, I mean seriously who in their right minds gives their attention to a child found in a gay strip club; well I guess that would be people found in a gay strip club.

"My friend over here" pointing at me, directing a large percentage of the attention he had derived over to me. "Today is his birthday and I would like us to give him the infamous special gay strip club birthday celebration"

Immediately he finished his speech, there was a loud cheers not sure which one of us it was for, the DJ resumed the music and everyone started dancing in a circle.

I looked over to Israel who was surprisingly unmoved by all this "What is Michael thinking, today is definitely not my birthday right?" I knew today was not my birthday but after everything I had seen happened in this short space of time, from me waking up in a gay strip club, to seeing Michael in a gay strip club, nothing was for certain anymore and I just needed some form of affirmation.

"Around here every day is your birthday"

"What is that supposed to mean and more importantly what in the name of Medusa is an Infamous Special Gay Strip Club Birthday Celebration, it sounds made up right, please tell me it is obviously made up"

"I am sorry my good friend but the Infamous Special Gay Strip Club Birthday Celebration is a mile afar from made up and soon enough you would get to experience it first hand, I have feeling you would find it very exciting" he said as he slowly walked away from me.

"Where are you going?" before I could say don't leave, he had already mixed with the crowd. As I turned around to look for him, that was when I noticed that the circle that had being earlier formed was actually closing in on me and I was the only one in it.

"Wait guys can someone explain to me what is going on...... is this supposed to be the infamous special gay strip club birthday celebration.... If this is it, I just want to let you guys know that I am not interested and today is not even my birthday so there's absolutely no need for all this" I was definitely preaching to the wrong choir because nothing I said was stopping them from getting closer to me than before.

Before I knew what was going on, my full body was carried up and I was placed on the strip table like a lamb waiting to be slaughtered, I laid on the strip table with my four limbs tied up in their different angles. That was when it started, hands caressingly all over my body, from the crown of my head to the sole of my feet. I tried to scream but there was a tight gag over my mouth so couldn't make the slightest of noises, not like anyone would actually listen to me if did. I started feeling weird, Goosebumps crawling all over my skin, it was the same weird strange feeling I had when Israel touched my thighs only this time it was a million times worse.

As I lay there helplessly while my body was being ravaged, I heard a voice in the multitude say "Pulled down his trousers, let's see what kind of beast he is carrying". This was followed by a loud uproar of affirmation. On hearing this I started to struggle, trying to set myself free.

"This can't be happening, somebody please help me" I said to myself

In a matter of seconds I felt my trousers and underwear coming down, at this realization I shut my eye, gathered all the strength and power in me and I screamed at the top of my voice, possibly destroying my entire lungs

"Stoooooooooppppppppp!!"

Once I finished screaming, there was silence not just from me, but a general calming silence, I opened my eye and there I was sitting upright on my bed that was when I realized it was all just a dream. I laid back in relief.

"Thank God"

"Who is that one making noise nau" the voice came from a few bunks away, I didn't bother to respond, I was more concerned with how I was supposed to go back to sleep.

Trying to readjust myself on the bed I notice something wet and sticky around the lower part of my body, it took me a while to figure out what it was because I was sure it wasn't urine, that was when I realized I had just had my first wet dream and it was caused by a crazy weird nightmare.