LOVE A THIRTY FOREVER

I looked in the mirror and I can't believe it, I've gained ten kilos more weight since I turned 30, there are no clothes that match me the way I want, I haven't seen the woman I was a few years ago for a long time, now I only see one shape of wide proportions and little curves, my face has a couple of dark circles, an endless number of spots that I suppose are thanks to the passage of time and my carelessness, but what does it matter.

I have dedicated my life to my marriage, my professional career, my children, and my goals, although which marriage... I was always a dedicated woman, I finished my high school very young, at 16 years old, I immediately received a scholarship to enter a good university, I started my career as an accountant, I was not from a wealthy family, so I had to support myself in any way to be able to fulfill that dream, to be the best of all accountants and thus be able to have everything I wanted.

When I was in the sixth semester I met Larry, a handsome young man four years older than me, he was about to graduate, his family was wealthy and he could have all the luxuries he wanted, while I did somersaults working here and there to cover extra expenses. that life gave me to be able to study, for reasons of fate he noticed me, and remembering well, anyone could notice me, my long hair to the waist, my protruding chest, and my wide hips made any man look at me, my face was white and clean, I wasn't very tall, but any 8-centimeter high shoe helped hide how glued I was to the floor.

Larry was a tall man, 1.80 meters tall, gallant, muscular, he had straight black hair that moved with the wind, everyone was crazy about him, I don't know why I wasn't, but he noticed me, and suddenly We started going out, he invited me as much as I wanted, relatively, we were a couple of students and our demands were simple, a couple of coffees, a few hamburgers, a few outings to the movies, a trip to any nearby town and so, I thought who was in heaven.

At the beginning he was an attentive man like everyone else, loving, chivalrous, he would go up to heaven, and the moon would come down on me (but who asked him, sometimes so much attention was cloying), I never had a boyfriend before him, so I assumed that That's how things worked, shortly after I obtained my degree as an accountant, with a couple of diplomas and a meritorious thesis, he decided to ask me to marry him after 3 years of courtship, something that was a surprise to me, but what else did I want? I, young, professional, with a wealthy husband, enough to be able to live comfortably without worries, "loved me."

His family was perfect, only his parents and one brother, they all loved me, because I was the example of a woman that everyone wants to have, I did not enjoy my stay at the university very much, I only dedicated my life to studies, to doing my best efforts and obviously my Larry, my prince who among all the maidens chose me.

I spend a couple of months.

The day of the wedding arrived, we had never had a fight, only arguments that did not last for two hours, bothersome and then reconciled, despite everything we had already had a married life, where I had good experiences with him but now I think it was the basics. (he did not understand the enjoyment of the body, he thought that it was designed to become a reproducing machine).

My humble mother was happy to see her daughter succeed, I never had a father and I was an only child, therefore my family was only my mother and a couple of cousins whom I loved as if they were my sisters.

Larry's family, the Nicholsons, were not the most millionaires, but they were renowned, they owned a plastics company in the city which was quite recognized, and it gave them a good boom to have good luxuries and thus live more than well.

The day I said YES, I ACCEPT I did not imagine that it would be the day my soul would die, even though my physical presence was still present.

A couple of years passed I got my first job as an accountant in the State, through a contest and a little help from my father-in-law I got a position with a good salary that made me live comfortably and help my mother, I kept the money just for me, since my lucky husband already had everything, he maintained our home, he only allowed me to work so that I could carry out my career, it already said that the duty of maintaining the home was the man's, women should stay at home doing what you do and having children, but I didn't understand that.

I wanted much more, my dreams were not limited to being in a huge house cleaning walls and changing diapers.

After getting my job I started to save my money, my dream was always to have an accounting firm but I didn't want to do it through Larry, I felt that I could do it much better by myself.

But what I did not expect came, my first daughter, Susan, I had to leave my job temporarily and dedicate myself to taking care of her, my husband was happy, but after having her, my body was not the same, there were strips of fat, stretch marks on my belly and on my legs, my face was not the same, and neither was my husband, I suffered a postpartum crisis which led me to a frustrating depression, I had to take psychological help and thus recover from the situation, my beautiful Susan turned two years old, My mother-in-law insisted on putting her in a kindergarten, the best in the city, and I agreed, so I went back to work and with it all my plans, my husband hardly looked at me, we were tied to a commitment, to a image, what will they say in society, after work we came home, we greeted each other with a simple kiss on the cheek, we wondered how our days were and that's it.

I threw myself into my work and raising our beautiful Susan, our loving encounters were only limited to when "my beloved husband" wanted, but deep down I thought that everything worked that way, that this was my destiny, in one of those encounters I conceived my second son, my beloved son Eitan, was named after his paternal grandfather, but it was not to be thought that forgetting to take the pill would be the beginning of the end of my marriage.

With my second son things did not change, on the contrary they got worse, my husband no longer came home, he was annoyed by the hubbub of the children, his disheveled wife, the disorder in our huge house and everything that a failed marriage offered. Time went by when I didn't come home to sleep, communication was almost nil and if before we didn't have sexual encounters, now less so, we had simply limited ourselves to maintaining and taking care of our children.

Fortunately, my plans were still in place, with my work, my savings and my effort, I set up my small business and managed to separate my expenses from my husband's, although he did not seem to care what would happen to me, for him I was simply invisible. I was only the mother of his children, so the years went by and ours had become the worst of monotonies, I no longer took care of the house, my company demanded time and effort, so we hired a beautiful girl, a beautiful and lucid twenty-something, who had passed the contract filter thanks to my husband, who thought that due to her age she deserved a job opportunity, and I simply could not comment on anything, the truth was that I was only interested in my children and my projects.

My company grew, slowly but it did, I was not economically dependent on my husband, I could enjoy the fruits of my efforts with my young children, trips to the beach, shared with them, helped in their studies, dedicated myself as a self-sacrificing mother, attended his school meetings, I participated in every school project that appeared, I had the time and the comfort, my husband was focused on his projects, Larry had simply become my roommate with whom we exchanged a couple of words from time to time and so on. The days, the months, the years went by.

My children were already a bit big and they were beginning to be independent from me, our dear employee Gloria completed 3 years with us, and she was part of the family, she behaved like the best, she did all her duties, she was the best with my children, Susan and Eithan adored her, because I played video games with them, she was my daughter's friend, they played princesses and as she grew up I taught her how to put on makeup, I was immersed in my business in my plans and my little spare time was dedicated to them two. My world lit up every time I saw their sweet faces.

Despite the fact that I was not intimate with my husband, I thought that I had the perfect relationship, I did not need anything, I had Susan and Eithan, I had Larry and Gloria helped me, she had become part of our lives, of our family, my The company was a success, my secretary had become my best friend, Carolain was the best at everything, she was a bookkeeper, she worked with me while finishing her degree, she was my friend and confidant, as well as helping me run the finances from my company, which I was grateful for because between the company and my children I had very little time to do that.

But hey looking at it this way, what am I complaining about? Yes, I have everything, that's what I repeated to myself every day, I have everything.

From time to time, Larry's family came to visit us and it was time to do the family plan, the Nicholsons were nice people, I never had any problems with them, my mother-in-law was a nice middle-aged woman, not much older than fifty and despite his demands he continued to consider that I was the ideal woman for his spoiled Larry, he, he was perfect for any woman, maybe not for me, but for another yes.

My husband had forgotten that I was a human being who needed him and that I had a lot of myself to give him, especially my body, my body, which, despite those strips of fat, my face with wrinkles and my not so smooth skin, I needed your warmth, your caresses, but above all I needed your crotch, not everything is money.

I spent time in my "perfect life", but there was something in me that was not complete, so I decided to talk to Larry, well, I tried to recover what I had been lost for many years, I decided to rent a campsite in a beautiful place, full of nature, with a beautiful view, a waterfall, a delicious dinner and of course a night just for two, our children had Gloria and they weren't going to miss us for a couple of nights away from home, I thought that by reviving the flame of love could make my husband look at me again, that day I decided to buy a beautiful XL size lingerie.

My size S body had vanished, but even so I thought I looked beautiful, I had every inch of my body shaved, from my feet to my eyebrows, fixed my hair, got some massages, exfoliated my body trying to get my smoothness back and make my appearance look a bit more youthful so that it looked less mommy, I made all the necessary reservations, I talked to Carolain to take over the company for those couple of days, to tell the truth she had the control of everything, and when I say everything is everything, I got home like every day I organized with Gloria my departure with my Larry, I packed his suitcase and mine, I didn't say anything to him because it was a surprise.

Deep down I felt enthusiastic about the idea of recovering my virile husband, it made me shudder and my whole body stood on end. It's been as long as my beloved hasn't laid a finger on my body, I already forgot, what's more, I don't remember when the last time was that I had felt like a woman.

The next day I took the keys to my car, a beautiful Mazda that I had bought with so much love and because it was the first it had not changed, I put Larry's and mine in the suitcases, and determined I went to pick it up at his company, when I arrived at the doors of it, I decided to enter impressively, I never went, or had not done so for a long time, his secretary looked at me with surprised eyes and told me, Mrs. Nicholson, what are you doing here, to which I replied, it is logical, I have come to see my husband, I was dressed in a wide dress, not fitted, my curves had been lost for a long time, I was wearing flat shoes and a hat, I don't know what I was thinking, instead of seducing my husband, it seemed that I was to take on an outing with some boy scouts, anyway.

When she told me that my husband was busy that he could not enter his office, I told her that I was going to surprise him, she tried to prevent it at all costs, which made me wake up a murderous intent, and I forced her door, my It was such a big surprise when I see my husband, my beloved Larry, with my best friend and secretary Carolain, in a show that to say the least, seemed to come out of an adult movie, they were naked making a very subtle pose, which to tell the truth I did not even imagine that it existed, I had limited myself only to procreate.

They were so ecstatic with each other that they didn't notice my presence, and they continued in their adult movie idyll, full of sweat, they kissed, their tongues mixed, he kissed her he took her by her breasts and put them inside to her mouth while she was on top of him astride, my subconscious stayed to watch but my heart was breaking into a thousand pieces, I don't know how much time passed from this crazy scene for me, I only know that something inside my scream, and said the typical "what happens here" (but how simple, I should have grabbed Carolin by her hair and I should have dragged her around the office, in the end she was a very dirty traitor, she deserved that and even more) my husband looked at me , she did it too, they ran to get their clothes, and as if I were stupid they said, it is not what it seems, it is not,everything has an explanation, of course it has an explanation, they are both screwed up, traitors, sons of their...

I ran out of there I felt my heart break, my life, I don't even know where I was going, I only know that I was crying, and I was crying I didn't want to drive my car so I took a taxi, it took me to a distant park, sometime I had smoked cigarettes in college but after my wedding I never did it again and today was the day to do it again, I bought half a pack and smoked them one after the other, my phone rang tirelessly, they were two pairs of traitors, obviously I wasn't going to answer them, I didn't want to hear their unpleasant voice, I don't know how long I spent in that park, as if I lived on the street, my makeup was smeared, my body was shaking, my throat hurt, I don't know if it was from crying or from the cigarettes, my soul ached, I only know that my soul ached. I decided to go home, Larry was waiting for me in the living room, my children were already asleep, and Gloria...

Larry took my arms and asked for my forgiveness, he was crying like a little boy, he was asking for forgiveness as if he had murdered someone. and if deep down yes, he had killed me.

I decided to fire Carolain, without saying a word, I fired her and I didn't ask her for a single explanation, she just left, as the days went by I received a call from my mother-in-law, she wanted me to forgive Larry, she wanted me to do it for our children, for our home, and above all for our heritage, it was not convenient for me to keep the money of their unfaithful son, after a couple of months of suffering.

Larry began to change, he decided to be the husband he never was, I decided to give him a chance, months went by where we dated, we had evenings together, he made love to me, not like my friend Carolain, but he did something to me, he went out with me everywhere , he took me details and he had returned to the beginning, I thought that what had happened had made my husband come back to me.

Oh, Lana, but how wrong you were...

Not more than 4 months passed when my Larry, my beloved Larry, became the same father of the family again, who had forgotten that his wife was flesh and blood, and had made room for forgetfulness again, despite all my heart I had managed to ease the pain so don't ask why.

One night in May, when I got home, my children had gone to spend vacations with my mother, I thought it was the night postponed for months with my Larry, she had gone through the same reconquest process again, I became beautiful and sensual, I went home and saw the lights off, I decided to look for my husband in our room, I thought he was sleeping, when some noises caught my attention.

I decided to keep listening, when what I heard next left me stumped: "so daddy so harder like this, oh Larry you make me shudder harder", I threw my bag as far as I could and flung open the door and there he was, the puny Larry with my beloved Gloria, they were making the sequel to the first adult movie that Larry had started a while ago with Carolain, this time if they heard from me, I grabbed Gloria by the arms and pulled her, hit her as much as my soft hands They could and my chubby fists held on, Larry just put on his clothes and when he saw me like this he ran away, I transformed, I broke everything in the house, I was screaming, crying, I was hurt, I finished with everything, with electrical appliances, with everything, and I just screamed why why why , why Larry again.

Days passed, very Gloria sued me and I had to pay her a good amount of money, fortunately at that time it was not a problem, I started my divorce with Larry, and my mother-in-law did not object and we decided to distribute our assets, as my company did. I had gotten out of wedlock, that is, I had put capitulations I couldn't touch her, but hers could, so I decided to take what I could from her, I kept custody of my children, our house, a part of the shares of her company, and a cut of his salary as support for our children, plus I had my company, everything was going well.

I separated from who had been the love of my life, from Larry, my heart was broken, my children were a sea of emotions, but it didn't end there.

Over time I realized that my company had countless debts, breaches of contract, misappropriation of funds and a huge financial hole, and guess who had caused much of it, my beautiful and loving friend Carolin, who was not content to have devoured My company had also devoured my husband.

I tried to save it with the funds that I had obtained from the divorce, I used money from here and there, work, time and dedication, but to no avail in a couple of years it dissolved leaving more than 100 employees on the street and of course my heart empty.

Larry had made his life with Gloria, being younger than he offered him what I never offered him, an attractive and docile woman, who only dedicated herself to housework and what her king ordered her, I don't know at what time, but they already had a precious baby, their actions grew and he was very very very well.

I? I only gained weight and dark circles.

I had to go through job interviews again, but it was not difficult for me to get a new job, I managed to get one as a national accountant, in a well-known company, the pay was very good, more than 8 figures for my experience, and well, it was starting to see the light along the way, I kept working hard with the hope of one day recovering or rebuilding my own company.

As time went by, my children grew up and became independent, technology helped, and although we no longer had enough to pay for an assistant at home, the three of us defended ourselves, we had a beautiful family, we lacked nothing, we had everything, my children and I dedicated ourselves to enjoying, my little free time was theirs, and next door was love, there was no love anywhere, I was already over 30 and my appearance made me look a little older, I was neglected, I had no reason to be beautiful, who was going to notice me, I had two children, a marriage on top of it, an economic failure, and a little sexual life.

In the company where I was working I became a successful accountant, achieving administrative management thanks to my efforts, having a higher salary and improving our quality of life, after that I had one or another suitor, and everyone wanted me, but I didn't I had time for that, besides that some approached me simply because of my social position, which, although it was not very high, could give me the ease of a good life.

I met someone who caught my attention, Joak, a man in his 40s, interesting and a bit of a fetishist. He liked my corpulent body and not at all curvy. We started dating and we experienced many things that, to tell the truth, at the time gave me pleasure. that pleasure that I had not felt for years, taught me to know my body, taught me my sensitive parts and how I could also give myself pleasure.

He loved our furtive encounters, which to tell the truth were erotic and hot, from time to time we would escape to a nearby town and put into practice everything he had taught me, but there was something I didn't like about him. Joak... He was hiding something, but he didn't know what it was.

Being a businessman, he received calls and messages on his phone all the time, he did not make me suspect anything, one morning while I was in bed I received a call from Joak, we had been in a relationship for a few months to which I only called him affectionately, My Jo, answer, is something wrong my Jo?...

On the other side of the line, only a faint voice was heard, it was a woman, to which I asked, who am I talking to, are you okay?, on the other end someone answered, I'm Mery and I'm Joak's wife, we can talk, I was left as if a bucket of ice had been thrown at me at 4 am. cold!

It turns out that Joak was a married man, that he had hidden that detail from me, that he only enjoyed my sexual company and now, he didn't want anything more from me, again my heart broke but this time in a lighter and senseless way they were just It took a couple of weeks for him to simply no longer be a part of me, I only had those few months of experience left and a tasteless experience of having been that man's lover, of having harmed a woman as they had previously done to me. damaged to me

"Mommy... Mommy wake up today is the day, it's the big day, get up mom."

Inside me I listened to the sweet and angelic voice of my beautiful Susan, why not say that she is beautiful, if she has shiny brown eyes, with long eyelashes, a round nose and her little mouth, she was small and heart-shaped, well it is My daughter, why wouldn't she be my beautiful daughter?

It's been a couple of years since the frustrating relationship with Joak ended, and love hadn't knocked on my doors again, I didn't want to, after all, I was happy like this, I could eat what I wanted, do what I wanted, by now she was a successful businesswoman, she was CEO of the company where she worked.

For now I had ruled out opening a new company, since my job gave me enough, my ex-husband's shares were growing and money was not something to worry about, I opened my eyes and gave my daughter a big hug today was her grade High school, she had already made plans to enter the university, she was an intelligent girl as well as beautiful.

We had prepared a party at our house, her friends and family would accompany us, everyone was dressed to the nines, the party was spectacular, my daughter was happy, I simply did everything because she and Eithan were happy, all her young classmates danced to the rhythm of new music, they laughed and compared, I simply made the event work, of course his father was, my ex-husband Larry was present and he was not alone, Gloria was with him, that girl who came to our home asking for a job with such a bear About twenty years old today she looked like a lady.

His appearance had changed, of course, he looked like a classy one, his son was already very big and to my surprise they were expecting another, as he gave to me, he explained, the chemistry between them was noticeable in their eyes, that had stopped bothering me a long time ago. hurt, if he was happy, it was fine.

"Lana, but what happened to you? Are you suffering from anxiety? But how much weight have you gained!!", that was the greeting from me always dear Larry. to which I replied neither the one nor the other, I'm just happy, the good life, but inside I was vociferating the biggest insults that this little boy deserved, it hadn't been enough for him to be unfaithful, but he also wanted to humiliate me?

I did not give importance to him, he was no longer relevant to me, only that his words affected me, lately my life was so busy that I had forgotten to take care of myself and of course eat healthy, after 30 the metabolism is slowly and well that in me there was proof that he had been paralyzed.

It had been a long time since I had had contact with my ex-in-laws, they were also invited to the party, I always liked the Nicholson's, what a pity their son was not the best, we would have been a perfect family, my ex-mother-in-law hugged me fervently saying how much he missed "my happy family"?

My ex-father-in-law simply told her leave her alone, she made the best decision and of course she did. The party continued with a lot of euphoria, recently graduated young men made the difference, it was just laughter, dancing and of course fun, I remember that her daughter's best friend went with her boyfriend, a handsome boy, about 22 years old, he called her more attention than the others, because you could tell that he came from a very good family, because of the brand of his clothes and his cell phone and of course for being the boyfriend of the most beautiful girl at the school where my daughter studied.

Chantal was beautiful, she and Susan had created a friendship for more than 6 years and they were the best of friends, Chantal had a pronounced body for her young age, a body to envy because of her other classmates who didn't get along, but with Susan she was They had understood each other in a way that cannot be explained, my daughter was beautiful, but she still had a slim body, nothing marked for her age, she was still an innocent young woman, she had never presented her first boyfriend at home, and despite the fact that she and I was extremely confident, a boy she liked never came up, and deep down that made me happy, I didn't want to see her suffer like me, not so young, not so beautiful.

Chantal was the center of attention because of her new boyfriend, he was a fascinating guy, but he seemed a bit cocky, I don't know why he caught my attention, if it had nothing to do with me, not for now...

The days passed, Susan was ready to enter the university, and I was still concentrating on my work and little Eithan had decided to spend some time with his father and his new siblings, after all, Gloria had always understood each other very well, never I questioned the treatment that she would have with him, so I had full permission to frequent his house, so my time was just for me and my work, in the office I had employees around me who did what I asked them to do. order, and I really liked that because I wasted my time watching my favorite movies for hours and eating, honestly it had become my favorite hobby.

I had already resigned myself to loneliness, I had few friends, I only spoke to my cousin Ibeth from time to time and she did it on the phone, going out was not something I did frequently, my job and my children were all I had, according to me. happy, from time to time I remembered one of the lessons that my ex-lover Joak had given me, that self-lesson... well, if we are human beings and from time to time it was necessary, I believed that this was what I needed to satisfy my bad thoughts that came out once a month.

Mrs. Lana, I heard my secretary come over.

"You should read this document about some updates that the company is asking for your profile, could you please read them and let the head of the company know if you agree?"

"Perfect Iris, I will do it as soon as I can and I will get in touch, updates on my profile" wow, but if I was the CEO my work was impeccable that could be missing, so I read what they had sent me and they required my studies to be more advanced, since there was a long-term project where I had to take charge, but I couldn't do it with my undergraduate degree alone, so I was required to do a doctorate, so many years later and back in the university arena, incredible, but it was something that I had to do, basically it would keep my mind occupied and I would no longer have time to devour movies and food that were doing me harm.

I decided to enroll in the same university as Susan, she and I were very close friends as well as being mother and daughter and she saw it very well, in addition to the fact that she was pursuing her Undergraduate Degree in Finance and I was a doctorate it was very difficult for us to meet there, we had different schedules and she was always busy or hanging out with her friend Chantal, and a new friend that Chantal's boyfriend had introduced her to, Juan, who had won Susan's trust and they were up and down all the time, they seemed the same. perfect foursome, all beautiful and well placed.

"Hello, mom, how was your first class?" asked Susan.

When I got home, we talked about our university days, we hadn't done much, but I was happy to do something that I liked and deep down I knew it would make me feel good, I hung out with people younger than me, so that same night I decided changing outfits, I left my baggy dresses and granny flats behind.

My delighted daughter went with me the other day to choose clothes that fit my size and my personality but with a youthful touch, I decided to buy some tight jeans with a high waist that helped me hide my extra kilos that to be honest did not bother me not at all, I was sure of who I was and the reason I had them was by my side and it made me happy, I bought some colorful blouses, some dark-toned jackets, high-heeled shoes and boots that in my opinion were exaggeratedly youthful, but Susan insisted that this was the fashion.

I dyed my hair, I hid some rods that were sticking out of my hair, happy we came home with a lot of bags, not only full of clothes, but also of illusions, the mere idea of obtaining my doctorate for this new project made me feel successful and fervent, although he did not have love, he had an enviable salary, beautiful children, and a full life. For what love? If I can achieve everything simply with a snap of the fingers, despite my financial ups and downs I was at my best.

When I arrived at the university with my new outfit, I felt good, I was respected by my classmates, everyone knew who I was, I was the CEO of a great company, I aroused the envy of many and the apathy of others, but she met someone special.