LENS

I am alone changing my clothes inside my room because I am dirty and sweating, cleaning the house. I want the whole house to be clean. I want the food to be ready before Duke arrives from work because I know he is tired. Duke is always travelling delivering things that their clients ask. He is working in a logistic company while I am working from home. I am doing my online cosmetics and clothes business, and at the same time, I am teaching English lessons to Korean students.

Duke and I are already engaged, and we are living together in the house that my parents gave me because they moved now to Canada. They left their car under my name, too, and we are so lucky to start a new life together without starting from scratch. Duke is working hard to save money. Same as me because we are planning to put up a business in the future. So that he doesn't need to go to work every day and we have our own time. No boss, no reports and most of all, we are the boss.

While changing my dirty and sweaty clothes. I noticed a man standing behind me. He is wearing a black mask with red smiling paint on it, covering his whole face and even I can't see his face. I know that he is looking at me, watching me change my clothes. I freeze, and I look at him. His stare gives chills to me even I can't see his eyes. I know that he is staring at me. The hair all over my body stood up, and my heartbeat fast. He is silently watching me, and he is also holding a gun in his right arm. I feel like he has been watching me for a long time. I tried to get my phone on the mini table beside my bed to call Duke and ask for help, but he made a "no" sign. I step forward, but he steps forward too, I step backwards, and he steps backwards too. As if he already know what I am planning to do even without talking. I shake my head, and he does the same. He shakes his head too. I want to cry. I want to scream now, but what if he shoots me? I hold my fear and look at him.

He walks close to me, and he hit me with his gun on my head. I felt dizzy, and I saw my blood flowing from my head. My white shirt now turns red because of my blood. I feel like my skull cracked. I want to scream, but there's no voice coming from my mouth. He dragged me from my left foot, going out from my room. I fall to the floor. My blood from my head drips on the floor, which leaves a mark on the floor of the crime that happened. Even I was only wearing a shirt and panty. He doesn't care. I tried to hold for something while he was dragging me, but I couldn't find anything. I saw traces of my blood on the floor. He carries me, and there's a truck waiting for us outside, and there is a box inside the truck. He carried me and threw me inside the box. A box that is enough to fit me inside with a little hole enough for me to breathe and survived. My body is fold, and I can't move while my blood is still dripping. He covered my mouth with a tape that he was holding so that I cannot shout or make noise, and he closed the box and put taped on it. I heard the truck engine turned on, and we will go to a place that only he knows. I know at that moment I was kidnapped.

I woke up when I heard a noise downstairs. Thank God it is just a dream, although it looks real. I think for seconds, and I listen to the noise downstairs. Maybe it is the man from my dream, or maybe it is Duke. Wearing my pajama, I stand up to check who it is. I went downstairs.

"Oh, love," I said with excitement when I saw Duke home. I hugged and kissed him. He is the one making a little noise because he is looking for something. Maybe because he thought that I was already sleeping, that is why he didn't call for me. He doesn't want to disturb me.

"How's your work?" I asked him

"Not yet done, I need to go again", He answered. He went upstairs inside our room with his bag, and I followed him.

"But you just went home," I said

"What should I do? We need to travel to Pampanga?" He asked

"Until when was that?" I asked him back. He didn't answer because he was busy putting his things inside his bag. Like his brief, toothbrush and toothpaste, perfume, shave, soap, shirt and wallet. He went home to leave again. He is in a hurry like it is so urgent that he needs to leave right after putting all the things he needs inside his bag. He didn't even take a bath or rest even for seconds. I watched him gather everything that I am not sure if he will go to work or have a vacation because of the things that he put inside his bag but what should I do? But trust him because I love him.

"Love", I called him, but he is busy to mind me. As if I am not there talking to him.

"Did you have your dinner?" I asked

"Where did you have your dinner?"

"How long are you going to stay in Pampanga?"

"Love," I called him.

"Can you please stop asking?" He asked back. Paused. Without looking at me. He looks irritated because I keep on asking him.

"I am in a hurry. Ray is waiting for me," He said while continue fixing the things that he would bring. I didn't talk when he told me to stop because I didn't want him to get mad. I just watched him fix his things and when he was done putting his stuff inside his bag. He kissed me and hugged me.

"See you tomorrow morning. I will try to go home early in the morning," He said. I didn't say a word. I just nodded and watched him leave. He didn't eat the chicken and the steak that I cooked for him. That is why I put it inside the fridge so that it will not get spoil. He can microwave the food tomorrow when he comes back just in case that I am not home because I have a buyer to meet up with tomorrow at seven 'o clock a.m. He is almost working for forty-eight hours now, and he doesn't have a rest, but he still chooses to leave for work again.

I prepare the order for tomorrow. It is a red dress and a perfume I put inside the paper bag that caused P785.00 in total. Mark is the name of my buyer and he said it is for his sister and he wants to meet in the cafe thirty minutes drive away from home. I hope Duke can go with me tomorrow. I hope he comes home before I leave because I miss him so much.

I am thinking about Duke because he is so distant now. We are sleeping in the same bed but he is always turning his back at me. He also put a password on his phone so that I cannot open it but even he act stranged now. I still trusted him because he is my long term boyfriend. We have been together for almost fifteen years now that is why I know that he will not be going to cheat or fool me. He is my childhood best friend. I've known him for the rest of my life. He is my best friend, my boyfriend and everything. I trusted him because I loved him so much, and I know he loved me too. Next year we are planning to get married, and we will be officially husband and wife and that is all that matters even now he changed a lot. I don't want to see it, but I feel that he changed a lot. He became strange. Even I deny it, I feel it. Maybe because things are not the same as when we were teenagers. We need to get serious about our future for the family we are planning and the children we want to have. He wants to have twins or if not a baby girl first. That is why he is working for almost 48 hours or more. That makes him tired and exhausted. Yeah! maybe he is only tired because of his work. Even I want him to quit from his work. I know he would not listen. He will just remind me about our future plans. So he will not quit and I know that he is enjoying it. Enjoying his work, enjoying his company even he doesn't want to tell me his exact office. I don't care because I am blinded by my love and trust for him.

I lie down on the bed alone without Duke. I miss him so much because he feels so distant nowadays. Maybe he is pressured by our plan to get married next year because of even me. I am pressured, too, at the same time excited. I tried to erase my dream because it was scaring me. That is why I turned on my reading lamp and got my book from the mini table beside the bed. I read the Angel and demons, authored by Dan Brown. Duke gave it to me as a gift last valentines day because he knows that I love reading with a cute heart bracelet with a teddy bear on it. I read until I fell asleep. Hoping by tomorrow when I open my eyes. He is already home sleeping beside me. Hugging me.

I know I love Lady, but I can't help myself not to see Candy. Candy is a sweet girl, caring, pretty, and she is younger than Lady and me. She is Lady's opposite. If Lady loves reading. Candy love watching a movie with me. If Lady wants to take photos of events. Candy wants to record and take photos of our moments together because she wants to treasure every moment we are together. I am happy with Lady, but I am also happy with Candy. Lady didn't know about Candy, and Candy didn't know about Lady. I know Lady will get mad if she finds out about Candy, and same with Candy.

I don't want to lose Lady, and I also don't want to lose Candy. I am standing between them. Right now, I lied to Lady just to see Candy. I know that she is alone waiting for me at home, but Candy is alone too because her brother, the police, is not always home to be with her. That is why I told Lady that I still have work, but the truth is I will go to Candy to be with her. I know it is bad to cheat on the woman you love, but here is the woman who loves me. Waiting to be with me. Waiting for me to come. I am like in between of "I am a fool if I said that I don't love Candy but I will be a liar if I said that I love her"

"Duke," She said with a smile when she saw me. She runs to me and hurriedly open their gate to let me in. She hugged and kissed me and I know for sure that she love me. Like Lady, she is also wearing the bracelet that I gave her. She always wore it because she told me that every time she's wearing the bracelet. She feels like I am holding her hand.

"I miss you so much," She said with excitement on her face.

"Me too," I said, and I hugged and kissed her.

"Come on, Let's get inside" She held my hand, and we went inside together.

She went inside the house and like Lady. She cooked food for me, a chicken and a steak. I am just right in time because I am already hungry. I didn't eat what Lady cooked for me because I would eat with Candy. I didn't even bother to check what she cooked for me anyway. Tomorrow, I will go home to her, and I will make up for her, but I will enjoy my time with Candy right now.

"Where is your brother?" I asked even though I don't have a plan to meet her brother because this is all temporary even though she is dreaming about her "forever" with me.

"He will not go home", She answered while we were eating together. Later she will play a movie after we eat and we will watch it together.

I can't help myself not to think about Lady whenever I am with Candy, and I can't stop thinking about Candy whenever I am with Lady. I know it is funny, but it is happening to me. Though I never expect this to happen. Candy was my co-worker before. At first, I thought I only felt pity for her for losing her parents. Her father died five years ago because of cancer, and her mother died two years ago. She has nothing, only her brother, who is always busy working away from her. At first, they are just teasing me with Candy. That we are perfect for a couple. I don't mind them at first because I have Lady. Until I couldn't stand a day without being with Candy, she resigned because she got depressed from her mother's death, and I got affected. I always want to see her, to be with her. I thought it was just only for a friend but time passed. I didn't realise that we had been going for two years now. I know that she loves me, and I can feel it. She is dreaming about marriage, children and building a family with me, but I can't promise her because the woman I love is waiting for me at home, and that is Lady.

We are watching Romeo and Juliet movie. While she is lying on my lap and holding my hand. She is taking photos of me, of us, because she wants to look at it every time we are not together. That is how she loves me. She went close to my face and kissed me. First on my cheek, then next on my lips. I kissed her back, and like before, we made love. We make love on the sofa, bathroom, on her bed, in the kitchen with a camera on.

I didn't notice the time that I needed to go home. It is already seven o'clock in the morning, and I know Lady is already waiting for me. I didn't know if she slept while waiting for me. I packed my bag and bid Candy goodbye.

"See you later, Love," I told her. She hugged me tight and kissed me.

"Where can I see you again?" She asked

"Because I will miss you", She said as if she would not see me for a long time. I am always visiting her almost every day of the week because I want to see her too.

"Maybe later I will try to come here again", I answered.

"Why maybe?" She asked like a kid.

"Because I don't know my schedule yet, I have work", I lied, but the truth is I will try to make-up with Lady.

." Okay, I love you so much," She said, and she kissed and hugged me again.

"I love you too," I said. Even I am not sure if it is true because I have Lady and we are planning to get married next year. We are planning to settle down, to build a family with our kids together. I want a twin or a baby girl first. That is why I can't promise Candy anything yet. I can't promise her anything, but I can't leave her. I know this is wrong that I am playing their hearts, but I am careful. I can't leave Candy alone, but I can't break up with Lady. I am happy to have them. I am happy to be with them. For how long that I would be like this? I don't know because it is hard to choose between the two of them. They were both perfect for me.

Maybe I need to enjoy the time while I still have both of them because I know soon I need to choose between them, but as of now, I will enjoy the moment standing between the two women who loves me. I might be "just" lucky to have them. Call me selfish, but I don't care as long as I enjoy it. I will keep both of them a secret. Lady is my childhood best friend though I am confused between her and Candy, I've known Lady for the rest of my life. I also had a girlfriend before her, but it didn't work because I already loved Lady since a teenager. I know her family and her family knows me too. Even I have Candy I know I can't live without Lady. It would be unfair to Candy but she will not be going to know about it. She doesn't need to know about Lady and same with Lady. She doesn't need to know about Candy because I know that Lady is the one that I want to be with until I grow old and right now I will come home for her. I know she's waiting for me to come home and I am excited to see her, to make up with her.

I woke up without Duke beside me. He is still not home. It is already seven 'o clock in the morning and I am late for my meet-up. I drink my coffee and take a bath. Mark already messaging me asking me where am I now. He is already waiting for me at the cafe. I call Duke but he is not answering his phone. I message him but he is not also replying. I hope he is okay. I took a pen and paper to leave a note for Duke.

"Hi, love,

I know that you are already tired and I am not home to make you coffee that is why I made you coffee in advance. Just microwave it if it is already cold when you arrived. I went to the cafe at the Molino to meet up with the buyer and to send a package to LBC. I love you so much and See you later"

I stick my note on the fridge and with the orders. I went out of the house to make sure that the door is lock and the windows. Duke has a spare key so he doesn't need to wait for me to get inside the house and I am about to leave now when I saw Chase. Chaselyn my friend and our neighbour.

"Lady" She called me before I ride in the car. She walks closer to me and hugs me.

"I will miss you," She said because they are about to go now. They will move house.

"You said, you will leave next month?" I asked her

"But the buyer of the house wants to move as soon as possible, that is why we need to move asap too" She answered and give me the red lipstick as her remembrance.

"We will keep in touch, don't worry" She added.

"Okay, just message me in your free time," I said and she hugs me for the last time and we both say goodbye to each other.

Chase is one of my friends leaving just a few blocks away. We have known each other since our college days. She has two beautiful girls and one baby boy. We are close to each other that is why she didn't forget to see me before they move house.

I ride in my car and leave. I went to LBC to deliver the orders and then I went to the meeting place and to meet Mark. Based on his profile picture he is a man but I am not really sure if he is a real man because he ordered a red dress from me and a woman's perfume. I saw him sitting wearing sunglasses and a black jacket. Drinking coffee and waiting for me.

"Are you Mark?" I asked the man and he looks at me and "Have a seat, pleases" He said so I sit on the chair in front of him.

"Sorry, I am late," I told him and he didn't say anything. He just look at me and drink his coffee.

"You're pretty," He said out of nowhere after drinking his coffee. I didn't react to what he said because I don't know what to react. I haven't heard that word for a long time.

"This is your order," I said and I showed him the paper bag that I am holding. I gave it to him and he took it. He checks the order inside. One red dress and perfume.

"This one that is perfect for my sister," He said. While checking on the dress. He checks the perfume too and smells it.

"I hope she would love this one," He said.

"If she will like the perfume, I will be your regular customer" He added. While staring at me that makes me uncomfortable.

"Do you want coffee, juice or anything that suits you?" He asked

"No, I am fine. I just had my coffee at home before leaving" I answered. He gave me the payment and he asked me when can he see me again but I didn't answer. He paid me the exact amount and I left him alone in the cafe right after I received his payment.

I arrived home and I saw Duke waiting for me. I go down from the car and kissed him. He smells fresh, smells like he took a bath.

Hi, Love" I greeted him with a smile.

"Did you just arrived?" I asked him

"Yeah" He answered. He looked at me and "Where have you been?" He asked.

"I went to LBC to deliver some orders and I meet a buyer in Coffee King" I answered. When m phone rings because someone messages me. He grabs it from my hand and read the message out loud.

"Thanks miss beautiful," He said and he looked at me again

"From Mark" He added. "Who is this mark?" He asked. I don't know if he is jealous. "You went for a date, a breakfast date not a buyer's meet-up," He said as if he is creating a fight again or something that we can argue.

"It is a buyer's meet-up, love," I said. I don't know what's up with him but I am telling him the truth.

"Buyer?" He asked "You went out without me to meet him, then you will tell me he is just your buyer," He asked again.

"I am calling you but you are not answering my call. I message you, text you but you are not replying" I told him and looked at him. I want to ask the problem why is he acting weird and distant but I am scared of his answer. I am not ready to hear his answer.

"You know that I am working right?"He asked but I didn't answer

"You want me to watch for your call?' He asked again. I don't know if he is insulting me by his question.

I didn't answer his questions because it is no sense to me. I went inside the house and didn't mind him. He is starting a fight again. Every time he goes home he is mad. I don't if he is just tired but he is creating an issue that we can fight with and it is almost an hour that we are not talking to each other. He just ate a little and he sleep without talking to me or even kissing me.

I heard his phone keeps on vibrating. Someone keeps on calling him or messaging him. That is why I slowly took his phone beside him and check who calling him but his phone has a password and I don't know the password that is why I can't open it to see who is calling him. The name is not flashing on the screen too. I tried to enter random passwords. Maybe I can guess it but none of the passwords that I enter works. Until he wakes up and saw me holding his phone.

"Why are you holding that?" He asked and he grabbed his phone from my hand.

"Because I heard it vibrating. Some is calling you maybe it is important. check it" I said waiting for him to open his phone in front of me to see who is calling him but he didn't open it. Instead of checking it he put his phone under his pillow and go back to sleep.

I looked at him without saying a word even there is a lot of words in my head. I don't know how to say it. Even I have a lot of questions. I don't know how to ask it. Why are you like that? Why are you suddenly change? Is it because of work or do you have someone new? I asked myself that I want to ask him even I don't know how to ask him because I am not ready to hear his answers. I looked at him silently. Maybe there is no "someone new". I am just paranoid.