Intricacies of the heart

I was completely zoned out and lost in thought, as my cranky old landlady droned about kicking me out of my apartment, if I didn't pay up my rent before the end of the week. As a jobless twenty five year old without money or a means of raising any, I was positive I would be homeless by the end of the week.

After the meeting, I did the next best thing I could think of. I called Cherry, my only friend from college. I met Cherry my sophomore year in college, in a baking elective I took to fill a credit. She wasn't even supposed to be there, she'd wandered in late, smelling faintly of vanilla and cigarette smoke. Somehow, she convinced the professor to let her stay. She was loud where I was quiet, fearless where I hesitated.

We became fast friends over burnt cookies and late–night diner runs. She'd talk about dreams that changed every week, modeling, acting, "maybe just being rich for a while." I talked about kitchens and flavors and how I wanted to cook for people who'd never been cooked for. We didn't have much in common, except that we were both a little lost and trying hard not to show it.

Holding the phone against my ear with my right shoulder, I started folding the heap of clothes I'd left on my rickety couch. My apartment wasn't much to look at. Most of the furnitures were second hand items purchased from yard sales. Few seconds later, I heard Cherry's shrill voice over the phone.

"Hey Sasha, been a while", she sounded out of breath. I'm guessing she was either on a treadmill or on a dick.

"Yea I know, I've been quite busy" I lied.

Between being unemployed and having nothing going on, all I had was time. She was quiet on the other end of the phone so I spoke.

"Hey listen any chance we could catch up over drinks this weekend?" I didn't want to outrightly tell her I needed help. We made plans and hung up.

The weekend came by faster than I anticipated. Tonight, I was meeting Cherry. I'd normally just throw on a pair of jeans and a crop top. But, I wanted to make an effort on my appearance. So I sleeked my auburn hair into a bun, applied some make up on my face. I tossed out all my clothes from the broken wardrobe, in search of the prettiest dress I owned.

It was a black, short sequined dress with lace at the back. I've had it for three years and it still remains the best clothing in my wardrobe. I stood in front of a mirror to admire my effort and I was satisfied. The dress hugged my curvy body in all the right places. Albeit, my cleavage was a little more exposed than I would have liked. The black fabric a stark contrast to my porcelain skin, my minimal makeup highlighting my hazel eyes, the red lipstick making my lips look fuller.

Already running late, I grabbed my pair of gold sandals, black purse and off I went. The night in Pilsen felt thick enough to touch. The kind of heat that clings to your skin and makes every step slower and heavier. My phone vibrated in my purse, I brought it out and there was a text from Cherry. She was already at Simone's, one of the most popular bars in Pilsen. A couple more blocks.

The closer I got to 18th and Morgan, the louder the nightlife became. By the time I reached the bar, I could already hear Cherry's laughter from the patio. The familiar sound cutting through the mix of conversation and bubbly music. I pushed open the door, the air inside was cooler but thick with bodies. I strutted as elegantly as I could to the small sitting area, where Cherry was flirting with the bartender.

Once I was in her line of sight, she hopped off the high stool where she was perched on and hugged me dramatically. I wondered if she was already drunk. She smelled like vanilla and musk wood. Petite, pretty, with a kind of easy confidence that makes people notice her without trying. I suppose with these qualities, she didn't have to try hard as an escort.

Life took us in different directions after college. Me as chef and Cherry as an escort. Honestly, that never changed how I saw her. I wasn't judgmental, especially as I was about to ask her to introduce me to her world. Well, not permanently of course, just until I am able to sort out the financial mess my life is in right now.

Three magaritas later, I finally told her I wanted in as an escort. She laughed, and then stared at me like I had grown a second head and four tits. For a second, she didn't say anything, just blinked. Lips parted, eyes wide, like she couldn't decide if I was loosing my mind or joking.

"Wait...what?"

Her voice was soft but sharp enough to cut. She downed the shot of tequila the bartender placed in front of her, shook her head and said.

"Sasha what's going on? You tell me this very second".

I fiddled with the hem of my dress, looking at her mortified expression.

" I lost my job at the restaurant, they're closing it down, my landlady is kicking me out because I can't pay rent Cher."

She looked at me sympathetically. " why didn't you tell me? What about your savings?"

I glanced around the lively bar, deciding if I should tell her.

"I spent most of it keeping Monica in rehab." I admitted.

She ran her manicured hands through her hair, before she said anything, I quickly grabbed her hand and said.

"She's my baby sister and my only family, she needs me, I can't turn my back on her regardless of her shortcomings. Family is family."

Cherry looked me dead in the eyes. "She's a little ungrateful shit, how many times times has she relapsed and you had to pay for her rehab over and over again?"

I was beginning to get irritated. Talking about my little sister, wasn't exactly one of my favorite topics. She's my family. All my parents left me with and that's that.

She noticed my withdrawal from the conversation, then took another shot of alcohol. "In two hours, I'm meeting a high profile client, if you're really serious and if you're up for it, we can leave in an hour, my car is parked out front."

I nodded, downing the rest of my drink.

Cherry said it was just a small get–together. "Nothing too fancy, just rich friends of a client getting together." But when we arrived, the apartment looked like figment of a genius's imagination. Exposed brick walls, low jazz spilling from hidden speakers, the air was warm with perfume and expensive whiskey. I felt out of place the second walked in. I had to hold on to whatever shred of confidence I had left for the night. Slick suits, glassy smiles, women in silk dresses. Cherry fit right in of course. She always did.

A pretty lady elegantly walked up to us, took our phones, and ushered us towards a dimly lit table by the corner of the room. It was furnished with expensive looking padded sofas. An assortment of expensive looking drinks were arranged on the glass table. The men seated around the table appeared to be in their mid to late thirties. All in expensive looking suits, laughing and conversing with no care in the world. When we arrived at the table, they all looked up at us. Cherry kissed one of the men on the cheek, I assumed that was her client.

He flashed a dimpled smile, his suit fit too well to be off–the–rack, dark and quiet. The fabric catching just enough light to suggest money, without the need to flaunt it. His voice was soft and confident as he spoke to Cherry.

"Hey pookie, you made it! Wow, you look stunning." She blushed and turned to me with a smile that said "relax" before introducing me to the group of men. They all said hello with equally pristine smiles. Cherry and I both sat down. She began flirting and talking to her client, whose name I learned was Robin.

I on the other hand, was too shy to look up from my seated position, my hands suddenly became interesting, I started wishing I had my phone. Cherry said they were 'private people', hence why we had our phones taken. A few heartbeats later, strong hands tapped my forearm. When I looked up, I saw generous lips asking me something but unfortunately, all of my senses had stopped working. So I couldn't hear a thing, I could only see how handsome has. He wasn't conventionally attractive, it was striking. Clean lines, easy smile, sharp green eyes and shiny teeth.

There was something about him that felt steady, not showy, not practiced, just present. The kind of man who listens before he speaks. Who makes you forget you were supposed to be careful. His suit wasn't as sharp as the others, his watch a little scuffed. That somehow made him more intriguing. When I finally learned how to use my words, I blinked, embarrassed by how lost I was.

"I'm sorry what?"

He chuckled softly. " I was asking if I could pour you a drink." He gestured to the glass and drink on the table.

I nodded, smiling nervously.

He handed me the glass of brown whiskey and then proceeded to ask what my name was, I studied him briefly.

"It's Sasha."

My voice sounded strained, I quickly took a sip from my drink. He gave me a small smile.

"Nice to make you acquaintance Sasha, I'm Crest."

He stretched out his arm for a handshake. I took it.

"Nice to meet you too." His hands were strong, warm.

Feeling confident, I decided to try making conversation.

"You live around here?"

What sort of dumb question was that? I regretted it the moment the words left my mouth. He shrugged lightly, "sometimes." That was all, no explanation, just sometimes. Cherry's laughter echoed from across the table, a reminder of where I was and what I'd said yes to. For a moment all I could focus on was him, his calm, that half smile, the way he looked at me, like he was studying me.

"So," he said, "you're Cherry's friend."

I nodded. "Since college."

He looked at me like he was trying to solve a puzzle. I took a long sip from my drink and asked.

"Are you here often?"

He smiled. "Let's just say I'm here to ease off stress."

Cherry signaled to me, passing me a piece of paper. I immediately unfolded it. Her handwriting was scribbled on the small note, asking if I was doing okay. I looked towards her and gave her a thumbs up, she winked and proceeded to writing on another piece of paper, seconds later, she passed it to me.

"If you're overwhelmed let me know okay?

I'm going upstairs with Robin. Is that okay? If yes, nod.

It's the third room right. Find me if you need me."

I laughed lightly, at the absurd way we had to communicate. I nodded as she stood up with her companion, walking towards the spiral stairs.

Hours later, Crest and I were laughing our asses off as we exchanged stories about our individual college experiences. I was now almost completely comfortable, that I obliged when he'd asked if we could move somewhere more private. He led me up the spiral stairs, into an open hallway, with doors on both left and right. He opened the second door to the right, immediately before the one Cherry said she was headed, and held it open for me. It was a cozy, dimly lit bedroom, I could smell lavender. The only light turned on was the ornate lamp by the bed that painted everything amber.

The noise from the party faded once he closed the door. My heart rate was through the roof, I tried to maintain a calm exterior, after all, this is what I was here for. He sat gracefully on the king–size bed that was neatly tucked in and arranged. I stood awkwardly by the corner and he motioned for me to come sit on his laps. I hesitated, but my feet were already moving. In that moment, I was aware of every heart beat, every breath.

He was close enough that I could smell his cologne and minty breath, he reached towards my face to graze his hands and thumb across the apple of my cheeks. I was lost in those green eyes.

He took a long breath."You're so beautiful." His breathing became labored.

I tensed, with all the alcohol in my system, I felt light headed, like I could drown if I looked in his eyes too long.

"This is new for you isn't it?" He asked.

Unable to form words, I swayed and nodded. In a bid to get it over with, I grabbed him by his collar and kissed him.

I've lost cost of the number of men I've kissed in my life. But this felt different, his lips were as soft as cloud against mine, he kissed me with controlled calm. I parted my lips and gave him access, he groaned, the kiss quickly turned hungry and feral. We tore at each other's clothes until we were bare and he was on top of me, kissing me everywhere, sucking my neck, shoulder, breasts. His hands exploring every inch of my body.

This wasn't supposed to feel this good. He was completely in control just as I liked it. He reached for his wallet and brought out a condom. He looked at me for approval, I gave it to him. In an instant the condom was on, he was on top of me again. A moment later, he was inside me, moving, thrusting, stroking. I moaned loudly and clawed at his back, clenching around him. That earned me a gasp. He let out a guttural growl, increasing his pace, his movements became jerky and he stilled inside me. He rolled off me, kissing my temple.

I heard the sound of fabric moving, when I sat up, he was halfway dressed. I couldn't stop myself from asking.

"You're leaving now?"

He smiled at me. "Yea, I wish I could stay a bit longer but I need to see my kids before school."

In that moment my heart sunk. The word kids hit harder than It should. Suddenly a dozen questions swarmed my head. Was he married? How many kids did he have? Will I see him again? Was the sex bad? I swallowed my thoughts and simply said. "Okay."

He reached for his jacket pulled out something from the inside pocket and placed it on the night stand. I didn't bother to check. He lingered just long enough to meet my eyes, a look that might have meant thank you or I'm sorry, or maybe nothing at all. Then he was gone. The door closed quietly behind him, with it went the warmth. I just sat there staring at the cash he left me, more money than I had ever seen. It didn't excite me, I felt hollow and empty.