Into Your Arms

ABIGAIL...

TRIBECA, MANHATTAN..

Jordan hit me again. Hard this time. Even that it leaves an after iron taste of blood but nothing compares to the irritating feeling of film his name leaves in my tongue.

"You fucking twat !" He venomously spat. My hazel eyes sting with tears as I hold my face, his breath fanning hot against my face. I've lost count of the times he slaps me, punches me, or kicks me. A misplaced word, a misunderstood glance, and he unleashes his fury upon me. I hate him. Jordan Fletcher. My abusive husband.

Sold into an arranged marriage as my parent's debt settlement to a man who claims to love me but only knows how to hurt me, Jordan's eyes always bore into my soul with much hatred. His touch leaves bruises and scars.

"Whose baby is that?" His sneer was wild and I couldn't understand why.

"Yours..." My trembling lips escape a whimper. It wasn't a lie. The baby was Jordan's and as much as I thought he would be extremely happy, I never wanted him to find out this way. I was going to show him the pregnancy test which I'd taken from the hospital. But he was already two steps ahead of me when he read Eden's chat heading ..

Have you told Jordan about the baby yet? You won't keep it forever you know ...

Part of me could see that he misunderstood the message and this was the consequences. A toxic correction.

"You're lying!" His eyes darkened. "Whose baby is that, Abigail?"

" Jordan, it's yours." I broke down again.

" You pussy ! You goddamn cheat !" He scowls before me grimaced, pulling closest to me.

"Jordan..." I was trailing yet again when his long fingers cupped my face.

"You would abort the baby, Abby." His voice was dark and intense again.

My heart ached at his words before I took a retreating step away from him.

He frowned, "No?"

"Jordan, this...this is our baby. We can't ...I can't ..."

"You would , Abigail and that is final. Or else you wanna payback the $500,000 your old man owes me." He lit a cigar and puffs the smoke into the air. When my silence greeted him, he shrugged..

"No? I thought so too. Get rid of the baby and all this is over." He starts to walk away, climbing the stairs.

But I was reluctant. I was going to stand my ground. I hate the way he controls me, manipulates me, and makes me feel worthless. I hate the way he denies his own cruelty, telling me I'm overreacting or that I deserved it. I hate the way he makes me feel trapped, like there's no escape from this toxic cycle. But most of all, I hate the way he's making me doubt myself.

I'm starting to believe I'm the problem, that I'm the one who's crazy. But deep down, I know the truth. I know I deserve better. I deserve love, kindness, and respect so I followed behind.

"We are not aborting my baby, Jordan."

If only 'cat's got your tongue' existed.

" What did you say !" He gritted in between teeth.

"Jordan...I ...I can't ..." My heart pounded. I've never disagreed with him so this was new to me. I was nearly done with my statement when he flung the back of his hand against my face, sending me spiraling down the stairs.

My sight became blurry, dimming the natural light around me. Cold wetness trickled down my thighs, pooling around me. Tears seeped out of the corner of my eyes while the last thing my gaze was fixed on was the pregnancy test in my right hand...

********

My weak body stirs and my lashes flutter hazel eyes open. Bright daylight hit my eyes and I winced a bit. The room was white, and the faint sound of the EPG machine beeping close by made me aware of my surrounding. I tried to get up but my head throbbed and my body, stucked. Heavy at least.

I looked to my left and I saw the drip hanging next to me before my eyes caught a woman who was sitting close by. Her black braids were in neat buns and She was asleep.

" Eden?" I called out weakly and she stirred. Exactly the 'not a deep sleeper' that I'd known for four years.

"Hey..." She coos, now sitting closer to me. "You alright?" Heavy was that British accent I know and I nod positive.

"What happened?"

"You were out for two days. You can't remember?"

My lashes flutter a bit. " How did you get me here ?"

Eden pulled away and let out a sigh. "You let that fucking dick beat you up again?"

"Jordan's not a dick, E" For one, I don't why I was defending Jordan.

"Oh, right. I forgot." Eden let out sarcastically. " Did you see what the jackass did to you?"

"Jordan isn't a bad person. He's just stressed and worked up. The pregnancy news was just too sudden and ..."

Gasp.

I found my voice lost suddenly, my thoughts were now sprawling around caculatively. I was beginning to remember. I moved my free hand to my thighs but nothing was there. I forced myself to sit up yet again but there was a stabbing pain hitting me hard.

" Easy, easy .. " Eden coos softly, placing my body at rest.

"What happened to me ?"

Silence..

"Eden!" I was now tense.

"You weren't picking your calls so I decided to come to you. I found you sprawled out on the floor. Jordan was nowhere in sight. You were blood soaked, Abby. And the pregnancy test in your hand explained everything so I had you rushed to the hospital."

I opened my mouth but no words came out ...

Finally, "And the baby?" .

"Eden..." I was gritting my teeth this time to keep me from yelling out. Her expression made me assume the worst even when I didn't want to. Her black eyes were saying what her lips couldn't but I waited for her to tell me it was all a joke. A lame prank.

"Abby, I'm so sorry ..." Her voice was trailing as well and she was squeezing my hands tightly to keep me from springing up.

"No...n...no...no E, I can't ...it can't be ..." My sight was blurry again. Tears drowned my vision and then I broke down. Eden pulled me in chest tight and consoled me.

I was empty. My baby was gone. Just like that. Just like Jordan wanted...

I was later discharged from the hospital that day with the doctors confirming me free to go.

"How about you stay with me for the meantime?" Eden asks, her eyes boring concern

I sigh "it's fine E, I want to go home"

I don't know why but part of me wanted to meet Jordan, to see if he would be that remorseful man. Besides, the pregnancy was gone and there was nothing I needed to hide anymore. It would just be me and the regular runs of selling off oxys and other drugs for Jordan.

After much persuasion, Eden decides to give me a free ride home. The least I could let her do. I didn't want to become a bother to her daily life when I had mine to face.

She squeezed my palm. "Hey, take good care of yourself Abby." I could hear a hint of stern adrift in her voice.

"Any more bullshitting for that dick face, I'm calling the cops and he will be hunted down this time."

"Nothing's gonna happen.".....

Or so I thought.

The door shut behind me softly and I looked around. The living room was a mess with particles of used cigars on the table rug. Two used champagne glasses were atop the table with white wine in both. A tee-shirt lay helplessly on one of the couches alongside a feminine gown. I was sure of the Tee. It was Jordan's but the gown ...

" Ughh ..." A low grunt was coming from one of the rooms upstairs. The noise was getting a bit louder and I could hear it clearly.

Abandoning my things in the living room, I start to head up the stairs which lead to one of the rooms. Slightly ajar was the door and I could see what was going on. Jordan was atop a woman, one I couldn't see clearly. Her ass was in the air and he was riding her deep , like a rodeo cowboy while he spanked her mercilessly. Each spank tore a moan from the lady's lips .

My heart ached, pumping while it swells. I withdrew from the door, backing away from the scene. My hands covered my mouth but unfortunately, I didn't see the flower pot behind me and I mistakenly hit my leg against it. I winced in pain before I heard Jordan shuffling around. I sprang up in fear, turning my back to leave when the door flung open.

"You !" He blurted, his eyes shooting lasers and daggers. Yanking me by my hair, he dragged me to the other room at the end of the hallway...

****

" Jordan..." I sighed, tears escaping my eyes, my lips torn open, escaping a moan. I was close. So close. Jordan pulled his two fingers away and I suddenly felt empty inside. He smirked before he rose to take a look at my erotic figure stretched out on the bed . I hated when he did that, I hated myself even more for always giving into him.

" I hate you" I whimpered softly, collecting the duvet to cover my bare body which trembled. The after effect of Jordan Fletcher. He pulled my panties up and got a bit closer to me, his hot breath stinging my face.

"When you mess up, you get a punishment." I watched him move from the corner of my eyes. He had lit a cigar and poured himself a Bourbon drink which he now sipped.

After that night with the lady, Jordan had locked me inside the room all night without food or water and it was not until the next day he let me out of the room. The lady was nowhere to be found. She must've gone probably.

That's Jordan for you. He pretends to love you, cherish you for the first few months and when he gets what he wants from you, like trash, he tosses you aside. Neither concerned about your emotions nor bothered about karma.

"You like that huh?" He was smirking now while puffing smoke into the air.

" Jordan, I am suffering." My voice broke down, hot new tears not failing to stain my face while I gripped the bedsheet tightly.

"What was that ?" His voice was hoarse.

"Three days, Jordan ... three fucking days." My voice was sighing, soft, broken, but deep within, I was Feral. Burning.

" I stayed in the hospital ...where I was badly injured from the fall." Jordan was feeling uneasy and impatient with my speech. He was rubbing at his forehead now.

"We lost our baby, Jordan. My baby ."

"Okay , and ?"

I was taken aback by his statement, his lack of concern triggering me deep.

"You lost the baby and that's your fault. If you'd listened, you wouldn't have been in this position. You are always the problem and I keep spitting on the fact, Abby. "

I scoffed, bewilderment flushing within me. There it was. The exact thing I was looking for all along. His Manipulation. The Gaslight. That Guilt trip. Jordan was giving me more reasons to be hot under the collar of his vicious denial and lack of acceptance of the things he did to me. It made me hate him more .

"You never agree to your wrongs, Jordan and it kills me to know that you are always wrong but you hate to accept..."

"That's enough! That's fucking enough!! Fuckkk !" He was raging now. Gobbling down his bourbon drink in one gulp, he sniffed.

" Sign the goddamn papers" He was stern but in a cool way. My eyes shifted away from him to meet the brown envelope which sprawled across the table beside me. My head fought between reluctance and obedience. The last time I was reluctant, It almost caused my life, taking the life of the only thing I'd looked forward to.

For the record , obedience won.

I took out the white sheet of paper which had so many write ups but my eyes only caught the title heading on the paper. 'AGREEMENT FOR A DIVORCE '.

My eyes widened.

" Jordan ...? What ...what's going on ...what's this ...?" My thoughts were thrown into confusion.

" If I'm well aware, you were never diagnosed blind or daft. Sign the goddamn papers, Abby! You are of no use to me." Like a boiling kettle, he was whistling hot.

Tears welled up in my eyes. Just five seconds ago, I had one of the craziest moments of my entire life and the next moment, I'm asked to sign a divorce paper by the same man.

" But... " I was trembling now. "But I don't have anywhere to go and you know that, Jordan . " I cried desperately.

He yanked my hair, bringing me to his face. " Sign . The . Fucking paper! I'm done with you. Is that hard to note?!".

Pushing my head back down, he pointed out to the sheet of paper where I was to sign and with shaky fingers, I pressed the ink across the paper....

APEX ATHLETIC, NEW ORLEANS...

Yeah, try dropping her on the trolley, play them baby songs and coo in front of her, that could put her to sleep" I say on the phone, to Ms. Monet with short breaths. First day at work and I'm running late, what would they think of me? I just hope the boss isn't a narcissistic male.

The phone still pressed to my ear, I talk to the old lady on how to stop my baby from crying all the while sprinting towards the company. I look up above to see the name boldly written up.

APEX ATHLETIC COMPANY

Two years and I'm finally getting a job I like and comes with a huge pay. After leaving Jordan I'd gone to my only supporter Eden. She helped me out a lot especially when I found out I was still pregnant. The baby never died. She survived. Turns out the doctors weren't right about Hanna.

I was broken and tired, didn't know what to do but she supported me. I finally left for New Orleans to start a new life for myself and my baby. I'd vowed to love her and never be anything like my parents.

"Yeah put the phone on her ears so I could speak to her" I say as I quickly walk into the large building. I walk towards the elevator quickly getting in.

"Hey pookie!" I coo, and I hear her little giggle. Smiling, "that's right baby no more crying . Be a good girl for your godmother and I'll be back in a bit, okay?. I love you" I quickly end the call as I hear the elevator ding.

Walking out of the elevator I smartly sight the receptionist before I make my way towards her desk.

The receptionist looks up at me, her gray eyes clearly asking the question "how may I help you?"

"I'm Abigail, I'm here for the personal assistant job and was told to resume today.

Immediately her eyes light up "Welcome miss Abigail, pls follow me" she says, and I walk closely behind her praying to God that today goes well. She opens a large door and I'm immediately marveled by the interior, it's beautiful.

"Mr Grey" she calls, and the chair behind the massive desk's swivels, a handsome man coming into view. His sharp blue eyes boring into mine.

With a slight bow, " I'm Abigail, your new assistant sir"

Standing straighter I meet his eyes and a smile makes its way to his lips. I smile too.

What could possibly go wrong?

*****

" You came late again, Abby!" He would yell.

" Where's my Boba tea , Abby ?" He would ask, sitting five feet away from me while his legs are crossed.

"You look wet, what were you , rain dipping?" His voice rings in my head, memories from when we were at the elevator last week.

" I need your shot at this, Abby.." He would call. He was always calling, either needing my help on something or ..."And pick up my tuxedo suit on your way." ...that.

Having registered over 13 rejects before me, I could say I'm lucky. I'm the only one capable of keeping and putting up with the man's attitude and it did get me the pay. A pay which had a routine.

Everyday as his mini sidekick, I arrive early, organize the day's schedule, review urgent emails, prep meeting materials, brief Mr. Grey on the day's agenda, attend mid-morning meetings, arrange lunch meetings, you name it all.

Somedays, I'm working his home job as well. Laundry pick up, food delivery and at times, I'm his arch nemesis at ping pong. And some days I'm overworked, drained and a messy victim yet, I'm the most yelled at.

How I'm able to put up with Nicolas is one. But Hanna is another…

" Hey baby, Mama's here okay? Don't cry alright." I say, juggling between driving and soothing my baby girl in her baby carrier. But I fail.

She's still wailing, throwing her regular fit regardless.

"Come on , come on ..." I grit in between my teeth when I saw the traffic light blink yellow. I'm late for work again and worst of all, I had Nicholas's suit to deliver to him for the day. I'm cooked.

My phone rings and I shudder. I look at the caller ID and I nearly want to melt.

Speak of the devil..

Hanna was in the back seat , still throwing her tantrums. The day just started and I'm drained already. I ignore the call, knowing the trouble I was definitely getting myself into. I finally swerve left before I blow my car horn. An old lady with not so much gray hair comes out and I hand baby Hanna over alongside her baby bag.

" Thank you so much, Mrs. Monet. I'll pick her up by six." I kiss my baby girl's forehead before I rush back into my car. That's Eden's paternal Grandma and she loves kids so I had to occupy her with Hanna during the day. I reverse backwards before I hit the gears, swerving back into the road again.

Nicolas's call comes in again. I rub my sweaty palm against my blue jeans before I punch the call to answer.

"Heyyy ..." I say in my well scripted most friendly voice as I dodge a car. I was greeted with silence when I shift my eyes to the call and then back to the road ahead. I was still connected.

" Mr. Grey ?"

" What's the time on your phone?" I furrow my brows before I look at the small digital time in my car.

" Uhh ..it's 9:34, sir."

" Oh . I wanted to know because it seems like I lost my personal assistant to the roads !" He was doing it again. That attitude I wasn't ready to put up with.

" I have your laundry sir and your drink. Traffic seems heavy today, sir."

" If I'm done with showers and you're not here after that, just kiss your job goodbye." And on that note, he ended the call. I want to scoff but I want to look at him in bewilderment while I do it. He had some guts really. One minute, he's begging me for help and the next, he's yelling for coming late courtesy of the help he earlier asked for.

After a few minutes of driving, I finally pull up at his house gates. Clicking on the window button to whine down, I input the 'not so' private password to his house gate but it declines, rejecting me out. I try again three extra times but I'm not in yet.

" He change password, Abby." Nicolas Gardener says when he sees me struggling to get the gate password.

"That..." I hold back a swear from escaping my lips before I quickly pack up the whole things I was to deliver to Nicolas. Throwing his laundry and a few others which could not get spoiled or broken on the floor, I keep his Boba tea on the ground close to the gate before I climb over the gate to gain entrance.

"Thanks, Zach." I say to the gardener who nods in surprise rather than reply. Reaching for the tea, I pick up the rest from the floor and walk in, fuming inside.

" You're twenty minutes and thirty seconds late, Abby." I squint my eyes at Nicolas seated on the floor, legs entwined with each other in a meditating form before ignoring him.

God, he was so annoying right now !

" I want to seek your permission for a break, sir." His eyes opened and he was looking at me through the full length glass door.

" Does this look like Holiday time, Abby ?"

Haven't slept in like a full week and I feel like I would break any minute from now.

" I always look tired, sir. You said it. I just need a day break. For once."

" You don't look tired to me . Besides, only people without jobs rest. "

That's it. Psycho!

" Then I guess I'll have to be like them." I didn't calculate my words before spitting it off. But I like the look of realization it prints on him.

" You ..." His eyes went dark. " You want to quit."

" I just need a day's break or I'll quit."

" Why?" He was furrowing his brow, stopping midway into buttoning his white tee shirt. My eyes shift to his biceps and chest region and I'm flushed. Nicolas may seem pathetically annoying but he was a fine specimen and I had to give him credits for that.

I reposition my gaze back at him and he was still staring, still awaiting an answer. I couldn't give him one. I couldn't tell him anything about me or about Hanna.

"Abigail?" He calls and I swallow hard.

" Personal emergencies, sir." It wasn't a lie though. I had my emergencies. Hanna was one. Getting away from him was another.

"That is not enough reason." He was strolling close, covering up the distance between us.

"Give me a reason as to why you wish to take a break or you break a leg working with me." His dark blue eyes pierces mine and I feel pinpoint. My mind was numb at the moment. I've never been this closest to him, our bodies nearly touching, his breath sending fire against my face, his tanned muscled chest slightly open, giving me views of how deliciously hot he looks inside.

My head is spinning. A wobbling feel captures my legs and a soft wetness pool out of me, soaking my bra and black top. Nicolas eyes shift downward and I trace them to my boobs. It felt as if time stopped or something but I want nothing more than the grounds swallowing me whole.

" You're wet."...