Inexplicable Feelings

....You have the right to forget me. You have the right to abandon all the hopes I held in my heart. You have the right. But it's different for me because I love you......

Evelyn POV:-

I was standing in front of the mirror, just finished applying my lipstick and checked myself for the one last time to see how I look.

"Evelyn! Come!" My mother; Vanessa Sawyer, called me.

I sighed, forming a smile and putting my heartbeat to normal by a deep breath and not afflicting my mind in any undesirable thought.

"Coming!" I yelled back and let out a sigh of disapproval again because no matter how much I dress up He will never notice me.

I tried so hard to tell myself that if he doesn't care, why would I? But, My heart just can't get it out of its head. I just can't do it.

My heart held those strange feelings for him for as long as I can remember. Just a glimpse of him is enough for me and that's the whole reason why I am going to his brother's wedding.

Just a partial view of him is embedded deep into my soul.

I have known him ever since my childhood. My father and his father are like brothers. When my grandparents died, Uncle Shawn's parents took care of my father.

'We are all family''

That's what he told me, when I confessed.

Just thinking about it breaks my tranquility and I am sure when I'm gonna come back, I'm gonna cry all night remembering all those painful memories which were given to me by him.

Even though he did nothing, it still hurts me that he did 'nothing'.

Why can't he reconsider my feelings? I know you can't force yourself to love someone but you can try, if it won't work, that's another matter.

Even after that, I am still going. Just to test myself whether I can get over it or not. I want to forget about him. That me falling for him, it was all a dream;

The dream he broke in a few seconds. I want to get over that humiliating and awkward situation.

..Well that's what I have been trying for the past 3 Years...

I want to forget I was literally begging him to date me and make things weird between us but it's the nightmarish reality I cannot run away from. There's no way for me to get out of this trap.

I ran my slender fingers through my long raven hairs and walked down. My gray eyes blinked when I stepped out of the house.

I wore a blue mermaid gown for his brother's wedding, going there just to see him, hoping I will feel nothing this time for him.

Mother and Father smiled when they looked at me. I smiled back and sat in the car.

"You are looking so pretty!" Mother exclaimed with awe.

"Just like her father." My Father; Edward Sawyer said proudly.

"Only in your dreams" Mother retorted.

"She is even more beautiful in my dreams."

"Yeah. Because she looks like her mother. Elegant."Mother said proudly.

"Elegant?" Father began to laugh and mother narrowed her eyes at father. I sighed at their childish fight. Not again.

"I look beautiful because of both of you," I said, trying to stop their childish argument. They looked at me and began to laugh.

I passed them a faint smile and we left. But, To be honest they looked so cute when they did that. Like they are a perfect couple.

Caring, Loving, Sweet and cute couple fights. I smiled sadly at the thought because I don't think I can be like them. I want to have a perfect love like them.

***

We reached the hall and my heart began to beat louder than any echo. My throat dried. Maybe I shouldn't have come.

Every time I came to meet them, I hoped that this time a miracle would happen and that moment I thought.

Even if it happens I would refuse it just like he did. So that he could know what I felt and what I have been through.

But neither that miracle is going to happen nor I think that if it happens I'll refuse it. I am truly desperate that I am losing myself in the fire of his rejection.

I cannot forget those moments where I was willing to do anything only to be his partner.

"Forget it, Evelyn. It has passed."

I exhaled deeply and shook these thoughts off and went inside. I formed a smile on my face. Even though I was falling apart from inside, my facade is far greater than any other thing I possess.

"Uncle Shawn! Aunt Kyla!" I called them as I walked towards them.

Adrian is also standing behind them, my heart paced when I locked my eyes with his and unable to keep it up, I broke the two second gaze.

Adrian has green eyes along with dark brown hair. His body is built up along with a fair complexion. He has shaved, he doesn't like a beard that much so he shaves a lot.

But, his eyes are the most exquisite thing about him.

I scold myself not to admire his beauty. I deeply sighed in my mind and ignored him and hugged Uncle and Aunt.

"My my! When did we have two brides?"Uncle commented. I looked away shyly and replied with a 'thank you'.

Aunt kissed my forehead and complimented me. What I heard next is the most unexpected thing,

"Hi, Evelyn. You are looking Beautiful." Adrian said and I felt so elated.

Like everything stops and I want to lose myself in that, when he compli- 'Stop it! He doesn't love you!'

I smiled a little and replied, "Hey. Thanks."

"Where's Shawn?" Uncle asked.

"Ah, Father is helping Mother to secure her shoe's strap." I told him.

"Typical Vanessa, forgot to do it." aunt chuckled.

"I see, I will go and see your Father." Uncle nodded and left. Aunt also left to attend to some guests, leaving me alone with him.

"Evelyn, I-"

"I will go and see Lawrence." I said, not wanting to be with him.

Before he could say anything I turned my head away from him and went to Lawrence. I would never fall for his trap.

'What was the point of talking when you already broke my heart?'

"Hey! Congratulations! Getting married and all. So, Who's the lucky girl?" I asked in a teasing manner.

Lawrence is truly a gentleman like his father and Unlike his younger brother.

Lawrence inherited his father's looks. He has Pitch Black hairs and Green Eyes like his Brother both of them inherited it from their mother.

His body is less masculine than Adrian but his beard matches perfectly his features and his tanned complexion made him the most handsome guy in his family.

But, I don't know how I fell for the younger brother.

"Thanks... Her name is Emerald Wilson..." Lawrence replied in an uninterested tone. I tiled my head in confusion.

"What happened Lawrence?" I asked him.

"You know Evelyn, that arranged marriage ordeal," Lawrence replied. In their family, arranged marriages are very common, even cousin marriages.

"Like who gets arranged in a marriage in the twenty-first century?" Lawrence said frustrated.

I can understand, marrying someone you don't even properly know is ridiculous.

"Calm down Lawrence, Who knows Uncle has chosen a gem for you?"

"I hope so."

"By the way, have you seen her before? How's she?" I asked. He looked at me for a second and smiled.

"Beautiful. But, the fact remains, It's arranged."

"Maybe you guys fall in love with each other real quick. I mean I can see that smile." I said teasing him. He smiled widely and then his smiled faded as he said,

"Maybe she has other plans or was being forced or maybe she may have the looks but not the heart. Who knows if she likes someone else or I am not to her liking? Anything could happen. What if I didn't fall in love with her?" Lawrence mumbled.

"Put these thoughts aside Lawrence and think positive. Who knows she fell in love with you at first sight?" I tried to cheer him up. He nodded in agreement.

"We'll see about it later. Well, at least I'll try to be a better husband. All I could do is to do everything I can to keep her happy." Lawrence smiled.

"Believe me. She's lucky to have you. You're such a gentleman." I smiled back.

"By the way, You look stunning." Lawrence complimented, I put my hand on my waist and pouted as I said,

"Thanks for noticing so late" Lawrence chuckled and I said,

"Save those comments for your soon to be wife."

"Of course!"

"Hey!" Adrian also joined the conversation and once again my heart began to beat faster.

I stood still as I felt my strength leaving my body. Adrian looked at me and then at Lawrence.

"What are you guys talking about?" He said.

"Nothing much," Lawrence replied.

"What about you? Have you found beauty yet?" Lawrence asked, teasing Adrian. Adrian looked at me and said,

"Oh yes, I did." My heart stopped.

Adrenaline rushed in my veins. I swallow the lump in my throat. Looks like he has decided to break me using a new way. I tried not to let out a tear and forced a smile.

"I'll go get some drinks." I excused myself and turned to leave but Adrian stopped me.

"You never talk to me. Come on, let's talk." He said with a smile.

And like hell, I would fall for this affection not when you have already broken my heart. "I have nothing to talk to you about."

"Why? Does seeing my face make you remember bitter memories?" He asked, slightly raged, coming closer.

"Yes. And I want to forget about it."

"And what if I want to make it real-"

"I don't want to hear anything." I retorted.

That moment I want to say a lot of things to him to let out all the anguish I have felt in all those years. I opened my mouth to say something again but I heard a scream.

"SHAWN!!"

...Even if you are not here but your very existence resides deep within my soul- A source of Salvation for me...

Evelyn POV:-

"SHAWN!!"

I heard Aunt Kyla's voice.

"What the-" Adrian paused, we both turned to them, perturbed immensely by the sudden scream, gaining attention.

Uncle was on the ground panting heavily. We rushed to his side, worried about his condition.

"Father!" Both brothers yelled and began to rub Uncle's hand.

"Adrian! Call an Ambulance!" Lawrence said, panicking.

Adrian nodded and stood up to call an ambulance. Father also came and bent and held Uncle's hand.

"Edward... Everything is ruined..." Uncle said as tears formed a screen in his eyes.

Looking at him like that I also began to cry.

"Uncle..." I sniffled, worried about his worsening state.

I have never seen him cry before looking at him like that breaks my heart. Father began to rub Uncle's back.

"Don't worry, Shawn. I am here." Father said reassuringly.

"Nothing can save it... No one can save my lost respect now.."

Uncle was panting heavily as his face was filled with tears. Lawrence and Adrian are also at the verge of crying.

"Don't say that, Father!" Lawrence finally broke and cried.

Looking at them my heart sank as uncontrollable tears fell from my eyes.

"Please, Uncle, be alright. Don't say it." I whispered, tensed.

Lawrence and Father helped Uncle to move and shifted him to a room. My crying mess form walked towards Adrian's extremely stressed form.

"What happened, Adrian? Did you call?" I asked, tensed..

".. There's too much traffic out there. I have called our family doctor instead of the ambulance. He'll be here at any moment.." He said running his hands in his hair.

I looked down and wiped my tears. "How could this happen? Why?" I whispered, leaning back, wiping my tears.

"How can this happen, Evelyn!?" He raised his voice, slamming his hand on the wall, startling me for a second.

"A-Adrian?" I called him hesitantly.

"Everything was going as it should. Soon Brother was about to get married. Everything was going so smoothly and perfectly." He growled, turning his head away for a second then back at me.

My heart raced at his intense stare, What happened to him?

"I was about to fix things. Make everything right but now it's just falling apart." Adrian said as a tear released from his eye.

"Fix what?" I asked softly, holding my dress.

"What I should have, the dreams I broke." He whispered, taking a step towards me.

"I-I don't understand.. W-what are you talking about." I stuttered, turning my head away.

Looking at this wreaking havoc made me dejected. I wish I could do something to help.

"Adr-" I was about to call but he curled his hand in a fist.

"Let's pray Father recovers quickly." He breathed out. My lips formed a thin line as I nodded.

"What were you going to say?" I asked.

"Leave it. It's neither time nor situation. Where's my father?" Adrian asked, turning his head away for a second, disappointment flashing in his eyes.

"Father and Lawrence shifted him in a room." He nodded as we both went to the room.

Uncle is in a crying mess form. Everyone was trying to calm him. I can't look at him in this turmoil. I couldn't bear to stand there, so I walked out and resisted my urge to cry at his vulnerable state.

After a while, The doctor came. He examined Uncle and gave him an analgesic and a few medicines.

"What happened doctor?" Aunt asked.

"He had an anxiety attack. He's already a heart patient. Such attacks are not good for him." Doctor said.

"But what caused it?" Adrian asked.

A deadly silence fell upon the room. I shivered at this. I wonder what happened. After a few seconds, the doctor nodded and left.

I stood there dumbfounded about what happened. Aunt called Lawrence and took him somewhere. Adrian and mother stayed with the uncle as Father took me somewhere.

"What happened, father?" I asked.

"Evelyn. Save my brother." Father said, crying. I gulped apprehensively, receiving a bad omen by his word and asked,

"Tell me, Father, what happened?" A truly terrific sensation is surging through me.

"Lawrence's future wife, Emerald, ran away..." Father said, still crying. I was stiff upon hearing this. Just a few moments ago.

I was teasing Lawrence and now. I tried to speak but couldn't. Maybe I understood what father's going to say next and deep in my heart I begged it to be a lie.

"Please Save my brother. Who knows what will happen when he's gonna wake up. Please Marry Lawrence. That's the only thing that can save my brother" My mind went blank.

I lost my senses. A shallow breath escaped my lips. The feeling that is evoked within me at that moment is inexplicable. I lost my strength as I almost fell on the ground. My eyes widened in horror, shuddering in fright, heart bursting in agony.

'Marry Adrian's Brother?'

Tears rolled onto my cheeks without any control over them. Before my mind could comprehend what was happening. I heard my father's voice again which shook my very core,

"Please Evelyn. I am begging you. Save my Brother. I beg you, please."

My hazy mind drowns in the pool of guilt when I see my father begging me.

No matter what I felt but I can't let it happen. My feelings aside, I can't let my father, who has done so much for me, beg me.

I never begged him and he joined his hands and begged me to save his brother. I felt heartbroken looking at my father like that.

"F-Father?"

I am not that heartless that for my feelings I would let my uncle die. Maybe it's destiny's path to torment me more by being a part of his life yet being so far from him.

Uncle is like a second father to me. I can't let it happen.

"P-Please don't cry. I will do it for you. Please don't do this." I whispered, kissing his hand.

"Oh, Thank you, Evelyn. Thank you so much." He cried, hugging me. I have never seen my Father this desperate before and it shattered my heart.

I mustered some courage and stood up. My trembling legs walked toward the room. My quivering lips let out a shaky voice as I bent on the floor and held Uncle's hand.

"Uncle.." Uncle looked at me and said in a croaked voice.

"Evelyn... Why me? Why my Lawrence? Everything's shattered."

"No, it's not.." My voice came out like a whisper. Father came in and said,

"Shawn. I have a proposal for you." I closed my eyes and let out tears. Uncle let out an empty laugh and said,

"Nothing can save my lost respect now, Edward..." I felt like Uncle had smiled at me and I am too broken to pay attention to it.

"I would like to ask for your Son Lawrence's hand in marriage for my Daughter Evelyn."

...Your life with me is my deepest treasure...

Evelyn POV:-

"I would like to ask for your Son Lawrence's hand in marriage for my Daughter Evelyn."

Uncle's eyes widened as I shut my eyes more tightly and let out a silent tear, forcing out a trembling smile to pretend it's okay.

"You don't have to marry me, Evelyn," Lawrence said. My father's statement surprised everyone.

"Yeah, Evelyn, You are like my daughter. You don't have to. I don't want to force you." I sniffed as I wiped my tears.

"It's alright. I am not that heartless." I stood up and gave a cold look to Adrian who stood there absolutely stunned, staring dead into his eyes with this sentence.

"If I have to swallow my eternal feelings to save you..."

I then looked at Uncle and smiled.

"I'll gladly do it."

My answer shocked everyone in the room. No one expects me to say something like that.

"Evelyn..." Uncle began to say.

"How can I ever thank you," Uncle said wiping his tears.

"I am your daughter. How can I call myself your daughter if I can't do that much for you." I smiled sadly.

Uncle kissed my forehead. I wiped my tears as my Aunt And Mother left the room to get me ready for my marriage to the brother of my childhood love...

I don't know what I have done is right or wrong but, I know for sure that I couldn't let my father beg me and my uncle to die like that.

As for my feelings, Adrian already broke them. I don't think mine and Lawrence's marriage might work but, there's nothing I can do about it.

I shiver at the thought.

"Sister in the law of my lifetime love"

My heart began to beat at an abnormal pace as I lost myself. I accepted my defeat against those cruel and merciless games of fate. I lost.

With crushed dreams and a heavy heart, I agreed to marry the elder brother of the person who stole my heart years ago...

Adrian POV:-

"If I have to swallow my eternal feelings just to save you"

'Please, No. I beg you, Evelyn. Take your words back. Please.'

"I'll gladly do it," Evelyn said.

When I heard those words, I felt like an arrow had pierced my heart. Like I am crumbling slowly. My mind went blank.

I couldn't comprehend what's happening around me. I never liked Evelyn so what is this feeling of heartbreak?

I can't even stand in the room, so I walked out, ignoring the weird looks everyone gave me.

I know Evelyn loves me, Evelyn knows she loves me.

'Then how come she could marry my brother!?'

And now she is soon to be the bride of my brother. How awkward this situation could get. I just know that it's my fault.

If I accepted her feelings at that time, this wouldn't happen. But I couldn't accept her feelings, she was like a family to me and I seriously don't think that my father would allow me to date the daughter of his dearest brother.

And to be honest, I never thought about her from that perspective until she confessed.

"Dammit!"

And everything was blank after she confessed, from my feelings to thoughts, all of them changed.

Keeping these thoughts in my mind, I reject her. I neglected her feelings and broke her heart miserably-even though I don't want to.

"You can't do this..." I whispered, shutting my eyes.

Ever since I broke her heart I felt guilty about it. I began to feel things about her I wasn't supposed to feel.

But now, there is nothing between us and she is nothing but my Sister-In-Law.

Even if my heart stabs to say that but it's all my fault and I vow to myself I would never think about my future Sister-In-Law like that.

....I ruined everything just by my stupidity...

Lawrence POV:-

I was stiff when Evelyn agreed to marry me. Why is she destroying her life just to save our lost respect?

"This has to be a sick joke." I scowled, kicking the table, breaking its mirror when me and Father were left alone.

"Goddammit!" I cursed, kicking it again until it shattered, losing my mind in utter rage.

I felt like I was responsible for what happened. I have devastated not one but two lives. I can see that Evelyn doesn't even want to marry me yet still she agreed just for us.

"Are you happy now?" I growled at my Father who looked down in shame, loosening my tie, cursing under my breath.

"Brother, calm down." Adrian also entered, trying to soothe me.

"Breaking things won't help you." He whispered, motioning to me to calm down.

"How could this happen, Adrian? I agreed to marry Emerald, I was ready to do everything but what is Evenlyn's fault in this? What does she have to do with my trouble?" I asked, tone softening.

Hating myself for ruining her life.

Evelyn is truly something. I am sure her heart is made of gold. She is such a selfless girl.

"She is an embodiment of a kind-hearted person. She didn't even think about her and agreed for marriage." I whispered, holding my head.

"So you will truly marry her? Isn't there any other option?" He asked vaguely.

"If you have done, then tell me as well." I replied in the same tone.

I was lost in my thoughts as my father called, "Lawrence, I need to talk to you alone and Adrian, tell the guests the marriage will continue soon."

Adrian stood still. He must be shocked as we all are.

"Adrian?" Father called him again.

"Yeah?" He said in a vague tone. What happened to him now? Even I am not that lost.

"Tell the guest marriage will continue soon and apologize for the delay," Father instructed him as he nodded and left.

"Lawrence." Father motioned me to come closer, I came closer and bent on my knees and held father's hand.

"Yes, Father?" I asked in a calm tone. Even though I want to say a lot of things to him that it's his fault this all happened but I didn't.

"Lawrence, I am sorry son. I shouldn't have arranged you in marriage. It's all my fault. You have all the right to be furious." He said, guilt-ridden.

"None of it matters now." I sighed, lowering my head.

"I ruined not only yours but also Evelyn's life." Father said with his head down in shame. I wanted to comfort my father but I couldn't, I just couldn't think of any words for his comfort. What he is saying is true.

"I am sorry, Son.." Father said once again. My grip tightened on his hand as I passed him a reassuring smile.

"It's alright, Father. I just want you to be with us. Never leave us, We are nothing without you." I kissed my father's hand.

"If that's what you want, I will do it for you." I said sincerely.

He petrified me. The thought of losing him frightened me without any extent and today I felt like my whole being stopped when he had that anxiety attack.

Father put his other hand over mine and began to say,

"Listen, Lawrence, I know both of you don't like each other. I know she is nothing but family to you. But now, After your marriage, she is your everything. You have to take care of her and respect her feelings." He advises what I already know.

"Give her some space and time. I am sure your marriage will work. But remember one thing carefully, She is your Responsibility. Protecting her, Caring her, Loving her, Helping her, Respecting her and all those things; you'll have to do it. Okay, Son?"

"I promise father, I'll take great care of Evelyn and will try my best to be a good husband, to provide her with happiness." I passed a faint smile to Father and stood up.

'Even though you don't want to be my wife but I promise I'll fulfill my every duty as your husband and ensure you won't regret marrying me.