In the heart of the CEO

desired was married, and worse, he would never look at her as his. Not this time. However, it was difficult to trust men, even more so those who had easy smiles and free charisma, which is the very personification of Guilherme. However, a man like him didn't need to become something more. A woman who doesn't trust A man confronted by the past Fate always seems to interfere A completely unexpected pregnancy Can love arise in the midst of not looking for it? Playlist A House We Never Built – Gabrielle Aplin Anxiety

– Julia Michaels feat. Selena Gomez Apple – Julia Michaels Biches Broken Hearts – Billie Eilish Deep – Julia Michaels Happy – Julia Michaels Jump – Julia Michaels feat. Trippie Redd Let You Love Me – Rita Ora Like To Be You – Shawn Mendes Lovely – Billie Eilish feat. Khalid Nicest Thing – Kate Nash No Matter What – Callum Scott Not My Ex – Jessie J Peer Pressure – James Bay feat. Julia Michaels Perfect To Me – Anne-Marie Shallow – Lady Gaga feat. Bradley Cooper Sucker – Jonas Brothers Take Me To Church – Hozier Then – Anne-Marie What A Time – Julia Michaels feat. Niall Horan When The Party's Over – Billie Eilish Worst In Me – Julia Michaels Dedicated to all the strong women who kill five lions in the morning Lions often disguised as care, affection, passion, affection, love. It's not, and we know it. At some point, we know. Foreword "you may not have been my first love but you were the love that made all other loves irrelevant" other ways to use your mouth Rupi Kaur Prologue ""I smelled like a rose, can I give you shots? No, I don't wanna fight, but I will if you want me to I don't swim, I just dive straight into those blue-green eyes [1] No, I don't wanna fight, I just wanna be."

I adjusted my mug and turned on the espresso machine. I walked towards the large glass door of the living room and placed one of my hands against the cold glass. A light rain was falling, which seemed to mark the city I loved so much. I was only wearing a sweatshirt that was twice my size, which belonged to my brother and which I had not given back since I was eighteen. My hair was tied up in a bun on top of my head and I was wearing only a pair of panties as a bottom. I looked at my feet with the socks with emojis and smiled: the perfect look for a rainy day indoors. In reality, I felt like I was forcing a smile. The previous night had left my heart in danger and anxious, and I had finally made my decision. I would tell Guilherme what I had kept so much and what I wanted so much. Maybe he would understand. Maybe he really understood. Maybe he wanted it. The sound of the espresso machine caught my attention and I left my perfect music video scene and went to the kitchen. I picked up my mug and for a second, a small flashback went through my mind. About everything I had experienced in the last few months, and I didn't even understand where I was going. I just went. At that moment, I finally understood why. The mug in my hands was proof that the path had only surprised me, but it hadn't been a mistake. I ran my hand over my belly and felt my heart race. Just a few days, and everything had changed, and I had begun to understand that there was a life there. More than two months, almost three, and for the first time, I was looking for the calm I needed in him or her. I suddenly felt anxious, even though I had never planned on being a mother. It happened...

A single night was enough to unite me with Guilherme forever. The night we made love for the first time. I couldn't have imagined that I was pregnant, especially since I didn't have any obvious symptoms, other than a late period, which was something that happened to me quite often. However, there I was. I was starting to want something like looking at him once and for all, beyond the strange images from the first ultrasound. I wanted to look at him or her, and know if their eyes would be the deep green of their father's that took on new shades depending on his mood, or the light blue of mine. If his hair would come out light blonde like his mother's, or even Guilherme's darker tones.

I took a deep breath, catching myself thinking about him once again. It was like an addiction. However, it was a reality. The mug with a character from my favorite video game, which I had received as a gift when I returned from Spain, said more about him than about me. Or rather, it said a lot about us. I raised the mug to my mouth and took a long sip of the hot chocolate. Noises coming from the room caught my attention and I tried to figure out how to start that conversation. Things could turn out unexpectedly. Even more so, because my decision was so well thought out, unlike being pregnant by a man I barely knew. At that moment, I did. The months had shown me that, as well as his way of being, nothing like the one I once had. I had already known pain with someone, which I simply could not put down as a relationship. Not anymore. However, I had known love on another occasion, but nothing compared to what I had experienced recently. I sighed deeply when my eyes met the sight of Guilherme leaving the hallway and heading towards the living room. It was like his morning ritual.

God, I had even memorized that! One step closer to the sofa, and he raises his arms and stretches. Done. One more step, and he simply throws himself onto the upholstery. Done. He takes his right hand and runs it through his thin beard, as if thinking about life and at the same time about nothing. One day I would ask him what he was doing there for so long, for about five minutes, clearly closed off in his own world. The minutes passed, and done. Then he stands up and soon his eyes fall on mine. I analyzed his expression and noticed his frown for a second. Maybe he wanted everything, except for me seeing him in his kitchen after the night before. However, there I was. Because I had gotten the day off. As he himself would say: surprising and unpredictable. Maybe I was. At that moment, for a good reason. - Good morning. Just that simple line in Portuguese caught me completely off guard. It wasn't the playful and good-natured Guilherme in the morning. It was the closest version of him I had ever met to being cold.

He usually shouted buenos días and kissed me on the forehead. When did we lose that? My mind punished me, as well as demanding that I do something. That was the moment. I looked straight into his eyes and gathered courage. Let's go! It wasn't that difficult. Maybe it was, for me. I should follow his advice and not force myself. However, it wasn't an effort, it was more the fact that I was suffocating with my own feelings. I opened my mouth to speak, at the same time the doorbell rang loudly. I froze and let out the air I barely knew I was holding. Guilherme stared at me for a few seconds, and then the doorbell rang once more. I saw him turn around and curse something in Spanish. I smiled, because it was completely funny to see him getting tangled up with both languages. I kept my hand on my belly and thought about what I could do to confess my lov

mouth to speak, at the same time the doorbell rang loudly. I froze and let out the air I barely knew I was holding. Guilherme stared at me for a few seconds, and then the doorbell rang once more. I saw him turn around and curse something in Spanish. I smiled, because it was completely funny to see him getting tangled up with both languages. I kept my hand on my belly and thought about what I could do to confess my love and for him to believe me. I felt ready for it. - Look, Gui, I... My sentence trailed off, just like that moment.

There was a woman on top of Guilherme, hugging him tightly, and I could lie and say I didn't recognize her, but I knew her from the photos on his notebook. Melina. I expected Guilherme to quickly push her away, but he didn't. On the contrary, he ran his hands over her back, as if assuring her that she belonged there. That he had waited for her.

I lowered my head and went to the bedroom in that same second. Finally understanding, that I had understood completely wrong. I was his beloved, until she arrived. In the end, maybe he doubted my feelings, because he wasn't sure about his own. It wasn't his insecurity, it was because of his true love. That explained the way he had looked at me minutes before she showed up. That wasn't my place. It was hers. I smiled reluctantly, and felt the tears fall. I quickly got ready and threw the backpack I had left with some things on my back. I needed to get out of there. I wasn't the protagonist of that story. As always. I had to accept the reality that this man had made a choice long before we met. Part I "trust your body, it reacts to what is right and wrong better than your mind - the body talks to you" what the sun does to flowers Rupi Kaur 01 "Tell me something, girl. Are you happy in this modern world? Or do you need more? [2] Is there something else you're looking for?" Months before... - I don't need that, Will. My brother-in-law smiled broadly and shrugged, then left, not paying attention to what he was saying. I snorted softly and adjusted the microphone to the necessary height. I quickly looked around and smiled, because that restaurant was just as he had described it

– mysterious and cozy. People ate and talked, not paying attention to what was around them, it was as if each one was in their own world, or sharing something only with their table companions. I looked once more at the songs chosen for that night and smiled, I was completely in love with each one of them. I tucked a strand of hair that was insisting on falling over my face, behind my ear, and sat down on the high stool, adjusting myself there. I looked at the clock and there were about five minutes left until the show started. I sighed deeply and looked to the side, seeing Will make a positive sign with his hands, I nodded and soon a weak but sufficient light illuminated the small stage that until then was empty. Having live music was what set some restaurants apart from many others, people felt curious about it, and if the singer was good, they felt even more part of the place. Music brought people together, and that was why I loved spending my nights singing in different places. Music helped me bring people together. "Good evening, everyone," I greeted them, testing my Spanish that I hadn't used for a long time. According to Will, it was great, but for the Spanish people who were staring at me attentively at that moment, I decided to explain myself. - My name is Jéssica Medeiros. This slight accent, or not so slight, is due to the fact that I'm not from here. - I explained and noticed some smiles in agreement at the tables nearby.

- I was invited by one of the owners to sing here today, and I hope I can contribute to the best dinner of your lives. - I smiled and picked up the guitar that was next to me. - The first song has a personal tone, I admit, and since I think it's incredible, I decided to do a version. I hope you like it! Many people didn't pay attention to the stage, and I was used to that, especially because I wasn't the star of the night, I never wanted to be. It was more like putting my heart out in a healthy way, putting my most disturbing emotions out loud. Singing made me feel free. Freedom was the word with the greatest meaning in my life, and it was marked on my skin as a constant reminder of how I got there. I played the first chords and many heads turned to the stage. That song really captivated, as much as it intrigued. There was no right way to define how beautiful she was, at least in my opinion. In a way, she helped me to put several intimate truths out there. A form of protest, many times. "My beloved has humor She's the giggle at the funeral She knows everyone disapproves I should have worshipped her sooner If the heavens could speak She's the last

true prophetess Every Sunday gets darker A fresh poison every week We're born sick You hear them say My church offers no absolution She tells me: Praise within four walls The only heaven I'll be sent to Will be when I'm alone with you I was born sick but I love it Command me to heal Oh, amen, amen, amen Take me to church I'll praise like a dog In the sanctuary of your lies I'll tell you my sins For you to sharpen your knife Offer me that immortal death Good God, let me give you my life Take me to church I'll praise like a dog In the sanctuary of your lies I'll tell you my sins For you to sharpen your knife Offer me that immortal death Good God, let me give you my life If I'm a fair-weather heathen My beloved is the sunlight And to keep the goddess by my side side She demands a sacrifice Drain all the sea, get something shiny Something meaty for the main course That's a nice pedestal What have you got in the stable? We've got a hungry lot of worshippers That looks tasty, that looks plentiful This work is insatiable Take me to church I'll praise like a dog In the shrine of your lies I'll tell you my sins For you to sharpen your knife Offer me that immortal death Good God, let me give you my life Take me to church I'll praise like a dog In the shrine of your lies I'll tell you my sins For you to sharpen your knife Offer me that immortal death Good God, let me give you my life No masters or kings When the ritual begins There is no purer innocence Than our sweet sin In the madness and filth Of this sad worldly scene Only then am I human

shrine of your lies I'll tell you my sins For you to sharpen your knife Offer me that immortal death Good God, let me give you my life No masters or kings When the ritual begins There is no purer innocence Than our sweet sin In the madness and filth Of this sad worldly scene Only then am I human Only then do I become pure, oh, oh [3] Amen, amen, amen I opened my eyes again and noticed that practically everyone was tuned in to the guitar and my voice, and I didn't want to disappoint them. I gave it my all and Take Me To Church seemed to touch every single person present.

Minutes later, I finished the song and a round of applause was given. I smiled, because it wasn't common to get congratulations at these shows. I wasn't there for fame or money, I was just there to sing. But it made me happy to know that they had enjoyed it.

I continued my playlist and smiled knowing that most of them seemed as open-hearted as mine in those few moments. When I finally finished, at the end of the night, I thanked them briefly and left the small stage. Will greeted me with a hug, and it was impossible not to return it. I kissed him on the cheek and smiled in his direction. "I think I deserve a drink," I suggested and he nodded. "All for the owner of the whole damn thing." I laughed at his vocabulary and followed him to the bar. "The star of the night." As soon as I stopped, Will stepped forward and ordered a shot of my favorite whiskey. "I'm going to walk around, my love." I nodded to his attentive gaze. "Do you need anything?" I kissed his cheek once more and thanked myself for having that man in my life. He was one of the few who could really get close. Will was like a brother to me, and he took care of my real brother like he should. I missed Lucas right away.

"Is Lucas still in the office?" I asked, and he nodded. A grimace framed his face. "I'm the sociable one at the restaurant, and your brother, what can I say?" he snorted, making me smile. "He loves his own space and taking care of boring paperwork." "Lucas and his habit of being boring when he wants to be," I teased. "I admit that sometimes he's not at all..." "Will!" I hit his chest and he laughed. "Go bother someone else! I don't want to know how you and my brother have sex." "But I..." "Bye, Will!" I raised my hand and downed the whiskey. I left the glass on the counter and my brother-in-law behind, following through the people. As soon as I left the establishment, I took a deep breath and tried to avoid the urge to smoke. That shit was still tormenting me, and I tried to avoid it as much as possible. The prescription drugs I took every night were enough to leave my body in a big "organized" mess. I ran my hands over my arms and took another deep breath, missing the song I had sung a few minutes ago. Singing kept me sane, reminded me of good and unforgettable moments. It reminded me of the man I wanted back so much, but couldn't have. It was shitty to only be able to trust your heart to someone who only had eyes for someone else. "Excuse me." A hoarse, thick voice reached my ears, and I looked up. That perfect Spanish sounded and I tried to disguise what his voice alone had caused me.

I analyzed the man in front of me and thought I was going insane. He was gorgeous. A bad boy air hung over him, as did the roguish smile that framed his handsome face. Clear eyes and dark blond hair completed his beauty, as did his unshaven beard. "Do you always sing here?" I found his question strange and took a step back. I wasn't used to such approaches and I didn't even feel like it. "What do you want?" I asked directly, and my face fell. "Invite you to dinner, maybe." He suggested, and the smile remained on his face. I couldn't say what that caused me, but at the same time I thought about running, I remained standing there. "I'm not hungry." "It's okay." He said carefully, noticing the way he protected me with his arms. "Sorry for the way I approached you."

"Okay." I turned my back on him and decided to go back to the restaurant, without looking back. With green eyes stuck in my mind, and being sure that they followed me every step of the way. 02 "It seems like I'm always apologizing for feeling Like I'm going crazy when I'm just fine I've heard I could take something to fix it [4] Man, I wish, I wish it were that simple, oh" I glanced at the people on the dance floor. I quickly thought about the pros and cons of letting the night take me. It had been a long time since I had dedicated myself to such a thing. To simply enjoy the night and who knows, take a stranger back to the hotel I was staying at. I had policed ​​myself for a long time about it. However, I couldn't deprive myself forever. Being a woman wasn't something I asked for, however, in my daily life, like many millions of others, I had to face my fears. I tied the black jacket around my waist, exposing my back.

I noticed the bartender's smile change, and I couldn't deny that I knew I looked beautiful. Even desirable to some looks. However, it wasn't something I wanted. The problem was thinking that women dressed for men, and even for other women. In my case, I could speak with authority. I dressed in what I wanted, what made me look pretty when I looked in the mirror. I didn't care about other people's opinions.

And it hurt to remember, many times, what my traumas said about me. I walked towards the dance floor and let the music carry me away. There were several people dancing alone, a reggaeton that energized everyone around. It was as if the music forced us to surrender. At least, I was completely surrendered. "Dance me like it was the last time And teach me that step that I don't know A very soft kiss, baby Taki taki Taki taki Taki taki Do you want a kiss or Booty explodes like Nagasaki Lock up the Kawasaki engines The disco is full and the Anunnakis have arrived Don't go down, the booty sticks out of your outfit." I closed my eyes to the beat and let my hips work on their own. Singing was my essence, but dancing felt just as good. I remembered the funk classes I had taken a long time ago.

They were definitely worth every penny spent. Learning to dance was one of the ways I got to know my own body and, therefore, got to know myself. Somehow, I understood that I needed to take care of what was mine, starting with the simple step of looking at myself carefully. I felt something burning on my skin, but it wasn't the heat of a burning fire. It was as if something was following me, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't take that feeling negatively. I opened my eyes and looked around.