In love with my brother's wife

As I flip through the worn pages of my old diary, her memory crashes into me like a wave I thought I'd outrun.

I stopped writing about her two years ago, but I never stopped thinking about her.

I remember everything about her. Her blue eyes. Her pale skin. The way her voice softened when she said my name, it was just beautiful. Her smile hid more than it revealed. Her dimples. I miss her a lot.

They say time heals all wounds, well they lied. Because here I am, years later, still bleeding inside.

When Mum called last week, her voice was full of obligation.

"Your brother's getting married. Everyone will be there. You have no excuse this time."

I haven't been home in years, not since that night.

Not since her.

Even now, with everything I've built, the CEO of my own company, a sleek apartment in Paris, a name people respect, there's a knot in my stomach at the thought of going back. Not because of Sam. But because of her.

A part of me longs to see her. To touch her. To know if any part of her still remembers the boy who once gave her his heart.

I shut the diary and placed it on the nightstand. The past was suffocating me again.

Stepping outside, I grab a cup of coffee from the cafe down the street, hoping the bitter taste will ground me. The wedding is in two weeks. Part of me still can't believe Sam of all people is getting married first.

He's always been the golden boy on the surface, the reckless one underneath. A serial heartbreaker. The kind of man who never stayed long enough to love anyone properly.

And yet, he found someone. Or at least, someone said yes.

We don't speak much these days, but I can't lie, I'm curious. Who is she? What kind of woman tamed my brother?

The past week flew by, and I finally made up my mind. I was going to face my fears and attend Sam's wedding. What's the worst that could happen?

I spent the days leading up to it preparing quietly, avoiding calls from family, and telling myself it was just one day. I booked a ticket for the first flight out that morning, and in a few hours, I'll be home, for the first time in seven years.

The plan is simple: show up early, make an appearance, congratulate the happy couple, and come up with a solid excuse to leave the same day. Some urgent business in Europe, maybe. It shouldn't be that hard to pull off.

But the one thing I didn't plan for, Lily.

God, I hope I don't run into her. Because I wouldn't know what to say.

I've grown. I've built a life for myself. But when it comes to Lily, I'm still that boy who was terrified of not being good enough for her.

And somehow, she's the only person I want to be perfect for.

I arrived at the venue just as the ceremony was going on. Everyone was already seated, the atmosphere heavy with anticipation. I could hear the bride and groom already exchanging vows as I moved quietly down the aisle. I slipped into a seat in the middle row, careful not to draw any attention to myself.

But she noticed me, my mother.

Sitting in the second row in front, she turned her head towards me, it was almost instinctively, her eyes meeting mine with a soft smile. She always had something like a sixth sense when it came to me. Ever since I was a boy, we'd shared that unspoken bond.

I smiled back, then let my gaze drift toward the front.

The vows were being exchanged, voices trembling with emotion. The entire room sat in still silence, caught up in the moment. I could barely see the couple from where I was seated, until the bride turned to face the congregation.

And in that instant, everything stopped. Sam was getting married to Lily. My Lily.

The room spun. My breath caught in my throat. My heartbeat was loud enough to drown out every vow, every whisper, every prayer. I stared at her, frozen, as her eyes met mine, and widened in disbelief.

What was she doing here? And why was she marrying Sam?

I felt something inside me crack wide open.

Without thinking, I stood and walked out.

Each step felt heavier than the last.

I didn't wait for the ceremony to end. I didn't wait for answers. I just left. Because sometimes the truth hurts more than the silence.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine betrayal would come from my own family.

Everyone knew how much I loved Lily.

Even Sam.

It's been years since we were together, but I never stopped talking about her to Mum, at least. At random times. Quiet moments. Late night calls. She knew I never truly moved on.

And Sam?

We never saw eye to eye, but the one thing I thought we had was boundaries. Respect. Surely, of all the women in the world, he didn't have to choose her.

My Lily.

What was she thinking?

How could she look me in the eye on her wedding day to my brother and say nothing?

Why didn't anyone warn me? Was it the distance? Was I that far gone from the family that they all kept this from me?

Why was I even invited at all?

To witness this?

Dad didn't say a word. Just sat there like stone.

The questions keep piling in my head, one crashing into another, loud and cruel. But the answer, they're nowhere.

And right now, I can't breathe.

I can't think.

I just want to run until the pain loses its grip on me.

I just want to escape this mess.

I slip into the first Uber I see outside the wedding venue, giving the driver the address of the nearest hotel. I don't care which one, anywhere but here.

It looks like Mum noticed me leaving. She's been calling nonstop.

But I can't talk to anyone right now.

What words could possibly ease this kind of betrayal?

The Uber drops me at a modest hotel on the other side of town. Everything around me feels like a blur. I walk straight to the receptionist and ask for a room. She hands me the key to Room 409, the last one by the left on the fourth floor.

I take the elevator in silence, open the door, and collapse onto the bed without taking off my shoes. My hands move instinctively to my phone. I start booking the next available flight to Paris. I just need to get out. Fast.

Then it happens.

My phone vibrates.

A call.

Lily.

Her name flashes on my screen, still saved as My Lily.

After three years of silence.

Nothing has changed.

Well, not in my heart. But clearly, a lot has changed in hers.

Am I a fool for holding on this long?

I let the phone ring out. I can't answer. I wouldn't even know what to say. Do I even have the right to be upset?

After all, I was the one who left her.

I left because I knew I wasn't enough. I couldn't keep loving her in fragments, couldn't keep disappointing her with my inconsistency. So I walked away to become a better man. For her.

And I did.

I became him.

But I never came back.

And when I finally reached out, all I got was silence.

A message lights up my phone. It's from Lily.

"Hi, I saw someone today that looked like you, but he disappeared before I could be sure. Maybe it's just in my head.

It's been a while. How are you?

Do you know today's my wedding?"

I stare at the screen for a long time, my mind spinning.

Did she really not know I was there? Or is this her way of opening the door, of testing the waters?

I pick up my phone, type a few words, then delete them.

"Congrats."

Delete.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?"

Delete.

"Do you love him?"

Delete.

I sigh and drop the phone on the bed, staring up at the ceiling like it has answers. My chest feels tight, the kind of ache that doesn't scream but settles in deep, like a bruise on the soul.

Should I tell her it was me?

If I lie, Mum might tell her the truth but even more than that, I'd be lying to her.

I pick the phone back up and finally let my thumb speak.

"Yes, it was me. Congratulations on your wedding."

I hit send, the message left my phone, but the ache in my heart remained.

I wonder if she'll reply.

I wonder if she'll say anything at all.

Lily had the audacity to ask, "Why did you leave so early? It's been years, of course I would like some catching up. I'm sure Sam would also love that."

Catching up? Is that what we're calling it now? Maybe she meant catching up to when she started loving my brother.

Her message lit a fire in my chest. Without thinking, I fired back: "Fine. I'd also like some catching up about you and Sam."

It was petty. Maybe even cruel. But why should I still care about her feelings?

She replied a few minutes later: "It's a long story, Edward. And in your absence, a lot has happened."

My hands tightened around my phone. I was so pissed, but I was also curious. And just as I reached for my wallet to pay for the flight and get the hell out of here, something in me stopped.

No. Not this time.

I wasn't going to run. I needed to look both of them in the eye and hear whatever excuse they had for tearing my world apart.

I went back to the wedding venue, but most of the guests had already left. Only close family members lingered now, laughing, chatting, basking in the afterglow of a perfect day.

Mum looked absolutely thrilled, beaming like she'd won the lottery. She'd always adored Lily. Lily had been more than just a family friend, she was practically one of us. Even back when it was me and Lily, Mum never said much, but it was obvious she approved. If she ever imagined one of her sons marrying Lily, I used to think it would be me.

Dad stood beside Sam, both of them looking like they had the world at their feet. Everyone looked so happy. And I? I felt like a guest at a party I never got invited to.

"Edward?" Mum's voice broke through my thoughts. She walked toward me, eyes wide with joy. Lily turned too, visibly startled. Then Sam.

I saw you leaving earlier. I tried calling, where did you go?" Mum asked, pulling me into a tight hug.

"Just needed some air. Felt a little stuffy," I lied, the words falling out before I could stop them.

She didn't seem to care. She was just glad to see me. So was Dad, who gave me a rare, warm hug.

Then came Sam and Lily. Both smiling. Lily's eyes searched mine for something guilt, maybe. Or was it pity? I wasn't sure.

I forced a smile and congratulated them. My voice didn't crack, not even once. I played the role perfectly. The supportive brother, the ex who'd moved on. And I was good at hiding pain, ever since I was young. What was one more night?

Sam pulled Lily to the dance floor "This is our music, one last dance milady" stretching forth his hand. She smiled and held his hand, they walked to the dance floor, where he grabbed her waist as she held his shoulder, they smiled and giggled, like he was telling her something funny. It was there that reality dawn on me that Lily would never be mine again.

My mum held my hand and took me to a quieter place, we both sat down and she asked about my company back in Paris, she was curious about my life and more curious if I meet anyone. The question hit me like a stone "a hot CEO like yourself, you must have a girlfriend by now" I was speechless, the words couldn't just come out. I was still yet to recover from Lily and another girl?

"uhmm.....no" I stuttered. My eyes left her and accidentally dropped at Lily and Sam at the dance floor.

"Don't tell me you're not yet over her" she asked.

I stared back at her blankly and then smiled and tried to change to subject "how about dad, how's his health?".

She stared at me and said "he's fine, he's been on his medication, his anxiety attacks are not like before, but he goes ones in a while to the hospital for checkups".

"okay" I muttered.

"you know we are actually planning on having a big family vacation on a cruise ship, along with Lily and Sam, they could do their honeymoon there, or stop by at an island for it, their choice. But the whole idea is to reconnect the family. And a vacation is what we all need".

"Sounds like a good idea" I said

"So does that mean you'll be coming as well? It's for a month. I'm sure your company would be fine without you for a month."

I had no intention of even staying this long, now a vacation for a month? I know my company would be fine, but am I ready to see Lily and Sam have a happy honeymoon for a month?

"I actually think I have work back in Paris when I get back, I don't think it'll work with me, I'm sorry"

"It's fine but think it through before deciding, you have a couple of days to make your choice tho"

Sam and Lily were done dancing, so they came over to us.

Sam walked over with a grin and wrapped his arm around Lily's waist.

"I'll be taking my wife now, I have a little surprise for her," he said.

Lily turned to me with a soft, apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry we could barely talk, Edward. Next time, I promise."

I nodded, unable to trust my voice.

She smiled one more time, then turned away with him.

I watched them walk off, hand in hand, hearts in sync and it felt like I was watching the final scene of a life I was never meant to be part of.