In Love With You The Second Time

"Xin Ran, you were reborn for a reason." The goddess' voice was soft and emotional as if her death had brought the goddess some pain.

With pain emitting all over her body, she relived a memory she thought she had forgotten. Images of a battlefield appeared in her mind. She saw her own corpse, and a man loomed over her. His eyes were crestfallen and dark, the aura of death.

Something in her told her the name of this man was Fang Yiqi. The name brought even more pain to her heart. The more she thought of this name, the more she felt a sensation akin to a knife cutting deep into her chest. However, she could not remember anything about this man either.

She must have loved him. But why did this love seem so painful to her?

Had Fang Yiqi done something in her past life to hurt her deeply, that her heart no longer wanted any connection to him? In her past life, her name had been Chu Xin Ran. She had chosen to drink Granny Meng's soup, so she no longer would have any connection to Fang Yiqi, although some of her memories still remained. She still recalled her name and Fang Yiqi's.

After she woke up hours later upon drinking the granny's soup, Granny Meng told her that Goddess Qiwan had sent her to the mortal world to perform a task. Granny Meng appeared to be afraid of Goddess Qiwan as well and deemed her a goddess of high respect. Though this name was highly familiar, neither could she remember who the goddess was.

The granny said in time, she might remember, even if she had drunk the soup. Because Goddess Qiwan was the one in control of her memories, even the soup had much lesser of an effect on her memories. But while she was unconscious, she had heard the voice of the goddess, and just by communicating to her through her 'dreams', the goddess had made her recall an uncomfortable memory.

What did the goddess aim to achieve by making her remember her death? Everything suddenly felt so confusing.

She suddenly felt an urge to speak to the goddess, and so she focused her mind and imagined the body of a goddess. Having no idea of how the goddess appeared to be, she just visualised Qiwan as how she wanted Qiwan to look like: herself.

"Goddess, why did you send me to the mortal world if you intend for me to forget everything?"

Granny Meng instantly turned towards her.

Surprisingly, Granny Meng's words were "you were born for a reason, and now, you will be reincarnated without the need for my soup. Go along, and embrace your new life and journey."

If she didn't drink the granny's soup, what did she drink earlier, then?

A voice spoke inside her, just as it did earlier.

"You will remember when you need to, Xin Ran."

She recalled all the memories of herself being Chu Xin Ran, and the pain of her failed attempt at love. One question remained: how would she live life all over again, as a new person? Could she ever find the strength to live, and love again?

Xin Ran realised she had died on the battlefield because she had loved Fang Yiqi and Yiqi didn't reciprocate her love.

After she had died, he had said only one word, why.

She answered firmly, "Because I love you, that's why."

Her life had promptly ended at that point, but the pain had lingered even after her death.

Then she heard the goddess' voice again.

"You're on your own now. I bestow upon you blessings for your rebirth, but I can only wish you the best of luck as you embark on your own journey. Goodbye, Xin Ran."

And everything else just faded to black as this time, all her memories except for her name, were wiped from her mind.

Twenty three years later, 23 July 2015.

The woman in the red dress struggled to breathe and absorb what was going on about her. She sensed emotions of tragedy, anguish and desperation all around. Her head was heavy, she was breathless like something heavy had been pushed down on her, and her consciousness was fading. Focus, Focus! she told herself.

She heard cries and screams. But try as she might, she could not remember anything from her life, not even her family, her childhood, or even her education. Before her eyes lay shocking images of a street, and the bloodied and battered victims lying on the roadside. Her emotions were a turmoil, and after a few long minutes, it ended with everything turning black, and she lost consciousness again.

She had a dream.

A gem clad woman in a bright red sequined gown was calling out her name in the dream.

"Chu Xin Ran, you need to wake up."

The woman was ethereally beautiful and fascinating, not like someone from this world. As the woman blew gently on her, she felt herself drifting away, and when she regained consciousness, she was invigorated and lying on a hospital bed, with vague memories of the accident scene earlier. She was told that she was a victim of a debilitating road accident involving three cars, and she had been the sole survivor. However, she was rescued in time by a passer-by who had no knowledge of the accident, but appeared to know her in some way.

With the assistance of the nurse, she was able to sit up, and she took a glance at her patient bracelet. Try as she might, she could not remember her name, but the name "Chu Xin Ran" as spoken by the goddess earlier, seemed to be etched deeply in her mind. She felt a sense of unfamiliarity with the name on the patient bracelet, Tang Ying Xue, and the next thing she had thought of was to ask for her smartphone, which the nurse readily complied, and disappeared shortly.

A vast number of thoughts were going through her head, and suddenly she recalled a brief memory of the woman in the red gown speaking to her, though everything was inaudible in the memory. But considering she had no recollection of either of her current and past lives, she wondered if it was possible that her soul had just magically entered this woman's body.

The nurse promptly retrieved her smartphone from a small cabinet located next to her, and courteously handed it to her. It all came naturally to her after that, she unlocked the phone's screen with a deft swipe of her fingers and keyed in the security code. Although she had no memories of the past pertaining to this woman who she was now, she was aware that she could recall how to use the smartphone efficiently to the full extent of its functions: she could capture photographs, type, perform calculations, play mobile games, and she even recalled the passwords of every of her social media accounts involuntarily.

"Miss Tang, the doctor mentioned that you are suffering from traumatic amnesia, as a result of your accident," the nurse added. "That is probably why you have difficulty recalling most of the events pertaining to your life, but you shouldn't need to worry about that for now."

"Will I ever regain my memory?" she immediately asked. When she had just awoken in the hospital, she was completely unsure who she was. The nurse's words had brought some reassurance to her, and she also believed to some extent that she had been reincarnated as Tang Ying Xue, from her previous life as Chu Xin Ran. However, since reincarnation was something people watched on television, she was unclear if she had just woken up in a 23-year old's body, or if she had just encountered amnesia. Then, why had she dreamed she was Chu Xin Ran? Was she not only amnesiac, but going insane?

She resumed browsing her smartphone and looking at the unfamiliar contacts and trying to identify them in her mind, but to no avail. A number of her chat conversations had been deleted, suggestive that her accident could be planned, and more than meets the eye.

Shortly after that, she had a slight chat with the doctor to understand her condition, and before he left, the doctor informed her that he would refer her to a psychologist for further management. So, the doctor believed that she was really going mad, then? She huffed a bout of displeasure at the thought.

Next, the nurse knocked the door to inform her that she had a visitor. She urged the nurse to allow the visitor to enter, eager to know of Tang Ying Xue's life.

She was perplexed by the familiarity of the handsome stranger that entered her room, and his cold and seductive aura lingered around the atmosphere in the room and fascinated her further.

"You are..."

"I am Jing Yue."

Jing Yue? The name did not ring a bell in her mind, but provided her amnesiac condition, she probably wouldn't be able to recall his name.

"Do you know me, Mr. Jing?"

"I found you at the accident scene, still very alive, and took you to the hospital." He pronounced each word calmly and coldly, and his eyes watched her observantly, like an eagle. She felt some degree of nervousness when talking with him, even when he was just silent. She refrained from questioning him further due to his paramount attitude, but at the same time, she found that her eyes were glued to him intensely, and she just wished she could know him deeper. Who knows, he could even help her recover her lost memories.

His abrupt reply just shocked her further.

"Miss Tang, do you not remember me at all?"

Who was this man, and just how was he connected to Tang Ying Xue?

Nevertheless, she was inclined to believe him, due to a gut feeling that he was someone she could trust, despite being at that juncture...

Jing Yue stared deeply at the woman for a very long time. He had long heard of this strange woman during university, and how she piqued many students' curiosity during her freshman years with the peculiar things that she had done out of the blue. Coincidentally, she had been his junior of three years during his studies there, and he had also encountered her a few times in the university library.

Brushing past her in the library had also resulted in him having the impression she wasn't an ordinary woman like the others, but at that time, there had been no suitable chance for him to get to know her then. Eventually he graduated from the university in interior design, and later crossed paths with her during a conference where she was assisting another player in the architectural world. He learned that she was an assistant to the eccentric architect Jack Shi.

The Architectural and Interior Design Conference went on for about five days. They had first made contact when they were both at the snacks' area of the hall in the hotel where the conference was held. He was holding a cup of cappuccino, and she just had a simple tea. He had introduced herself, and observed how her eyes brightened up excitedly as she mentioned how she had heard of him back during her freshman years in university. He possessed a cold demeanour, but he liked how her lips moved and how she fidgeted with strands of her long straight hair as she spoke. At that juncture, Jing Yue was willing to make an exception for her, and she would be the only woman who had access to his heart, all because he felt some familiarity with her, and later, when he found her, motionless and covered with blood at the roadside, he had a vision of himself clutching the lifeless body of a woman, obviously someone crucial to him.

"Xin Ran! Why?" he saw himself shout in his memory.

Her lips did not move, and there had been no answer.

It had been on the final day of the conference when the accident had occurred. He was on the way to the conference and had taken the exact road where she had fallen, and at that time, he knew what he had to do in order to save her life. His heart had ached tremendously when he had seen her body. He had never experienced this feeling in all his life.

He had called her Xin Ran in his memory, and yet, she was Tang Ying Xue!

After that, he had started dreaming about Xin Ran and how he appeared to be acquainted with her, and saw how he pushed her away when she confessed her feelings for him, and his heart ached for 'Xin Ran' every time, but yet, he kept pushing her away!

Surprisingly, this woman resembled Xin Ran so closely, and with every feature of hers, even the way she walked, definitely pointed out that she was Xin Ran, and the resemblance had been so uncanny! But the woman was Tang Ying Xue, not Xin Ran!

Why had he called out Xin Ran's name in his memory, and how did the events in his dreams come about? He had even searched every possible resource on the internet on a feasible explanation for this phenomenon, but his efforts were futile. The searches just pointed out to 'Rapid Eye Movement Sleep', and was highly suggestive that he had just imagined everything in his dreams by re-using images from his memory subconsciously, and this had made sense considering he had seen her in university before in the past!

But he had been yearning for her, in a way he had never known before. How could it be that he had known Ying Xue, as Xin Ran, but he had no memories of such a past with her, until the accident?

He cleared his throat and explained, "We were both heading to the conference at Bayview Hotel."

She shook her head. "I don't remember anything at all. The doctor mentioned I have amnesia."

A frown spread across his charming face. "You don't remember?"

They had shared a conversation about their choices of drinks during their first meeting.

"Miss, I find it rather surprising you chose chamomile."

"What is it that people find appealing about coffees?" She cast him a sweet smile, and he inched closer to her, pressing her slightly against the wall with his taller body, "It's just that I feel like having something heavier for a boost in caffeine this morning, but I am also fond of the lighter drinks." She felt him breathe up her neck, and his masculine charm aroused her. Her heart was beating so hard that he could feel it.

Then he promptly released her, and they resumed their discussion. She revealed that she had come across a study that one's choice of beverages told a lot about his or her personality, and he inquired with an icy smile, "What if I liked coffee yesterday, and today, I decide that I like tea?"

She was speechless, but just smiled sheepishly at his question. Not long after, she heard someone greet him, and she excused herself to return to her seat.

He was dismayed that she no longer remembered him. He yearned to know her better, and now that she had amnesia, she wouldn't even recall their first meeting. But still, he was determined to make her recall the short memories that they had created together following their first meeting, and he would persevere to achieve that.

He had even taken her to dinner on the third day of the conference, when her car had failed to start and was found to be overheated! He had charmingly enticed her to accept the date, with the pretext that it was fate that brought them together!

For her to have nil memories of all their encounters, he perceived it hard to believe.

"Mr. Jing, I wish to remember my past," she said. "Could you help me?"

He contemplated her request for a few minutes before saying to her, "How do you want me to help you regain your memories?"

"I am willing to try anything and everything," she said softly. "I really want...to remember."

He utilized all his strength to contain himself from taking her in a huge bear hug, and maintained his composure, "If you wish to remember, then that can likely be done. I will do what I can to help you."

She just smiled pleasantly. "Thank you, Mr. Jing."

He smiled back icily at her, but in his heart, he was relieved.