CHAPTER I
The wold turns constantly and we with it. Nothing stops, no one waits for you. And I had learned that long before coming here. Until this point of no return where I arrived without realizing what was goint to happen next. I thought she was a strong woman, one of those that are like a nuclear bomb that devastates everything. But it wasn´t like that. And...I realized it when I met hit, when I looked directly into his eyes, and my gaze began to wander over his spectacular body. There I knew that there was no turning back and I was lost.
I smooth my hands down my pencil skirt and gray tailored, jacket before touching up my dark lipstick in the hall mirror with a look of resignation. My eyes scan and check my tawny hair is neat and sleek in its high bun and I scrutinize my reflection again, to make sure it's precise. Sighing once more, I take a steadying breath trying to ready myself, pushing down the gnawing ache of anxiety and nerves deep inside my gut.
I'll do.
I look as good as I know I'm capable of, and I'm mildly satisfied with what I see before me; a cool, efficient image of cold poise and gray tailoring that exudes authority, with no hint of the turmoil of emotion inside me. I narrow my eyes to look for any flaws to my immaculate armor, any stray hairs, specks of dust, or creased fabric, and find none.
I've never been a lover of my own reflection, with my young appearance, cool blue eyes, and pouting lips, but nothing is out of place and I look right for my new role as personal assistant to my very high-profile boss. Professional and capable on the outside which I guess is what matters, calm and uncompromising with every detail in place and clothes flawlessly neat. I have always been good at shielding the truth about how I feel inside.
I slide on my stilettos with a slow careful motion, keeping my balance with one hand on the wall and hearing the movement in the room behind me, I check the mirror in response.
"Morning, Ems... God, you look professional as always." Sarah stifles a yawn as she wanders from her room and rubs her eyes with the back of her fist childishly as watch her in the reflection behind me. It's unusual for her to be up this early on her day off; Sarah's never been a lover of mornings for as long as I've known her.
She's wearing her baggy pink housecoat, and her messy, short, bleached blonde hair is sticking up at all angles from her head; casually loveable as always, and I am warmed with affection for that bundle of happy energy. Her bright blue eyes are heavy with early morning fatigue and she's watching me closely with a silly smile on her face. A little too closely for my liking. "Good morning, Sarah." I smile lightly, I try to ignore the way she's looking at me and straighten up to stand tall. I turn, lifting my briefcase from the floor in front of me and head forward into our open plan apartment. Ever conscious of my grace and mannerisms under scrutiny, even in front of her, and push out the sense of tightness in my nerves today; swallow down the listlessness and try extremely hard to curb the swirling of my stomach.
"Remember you need to be here for ten o'clock... the boiler repair." I remind her as she shuffles along behind me to the living room area, trying to distract her from the open gawking she seems to be doing. Running through my schedule in my head like a mental checklist to give me something else to think about, besides my uneasiness today.
"I know. I know! You left me a memo on the fridge remember?" she giggles childishly and throws me a patient look, raising a brow with an almost indulgent expression. She looks much younger than her age and sometimes forget we went to school together. I'm more like her guardian than her roommate nowadays, but maybe I always did, if I am being honest. I sigh again, pushing down the tight knot of apprehension growing inside and give her a small smile of bravado.
"Don't forget." I sound stern, but she doesn't react, she's used to my serious tone and my endless organization of our lives. She knows this is the way I do things; my need to be in control and have everything just so makes me feel more capable.
"I won't. I swear ... I'm not working until tonight, so I'm going to stick around and chillax ... Watch some back-to-back Netflix." She moves lazily in the bright white and gray kitchen to the side of me and begins making herself a coffee. Lifting the mug I washed earlier this morning from the rack for herself, with another sleepy bright smile. I watch her casual, confident movements around the space; her domain when she's at home, and it gives me a sense of calm.
Sarah was always good at making me feel a little saner when I needed it, never aware of how I drew from that uncomplicated relaxed manner of hers when had to ground myself.
"I'm going to work." I walk steadily into the small hall by the side of the bar which juts out into the lounge and lift the few open letters from the counter I've yet to deal with today. I know that I'm lingering and acting indecisively, compared to my usual efficient routine every day, and normally I'd already be walking to the subway station, despite being early.
"Oh, here." She slides a white envelope out from behind the toaster and holds it out expectantly for me to take, a blank look on her face.
"Before forget... I know you've probably already taken care of them, as usual." Her sparkling eyes flash at me with affectionate amusement.
"What is it?" I look at the long envelope, taking it from her slowly with careful fingers, eyeing it up with a frown, seeing no writing on the front.
"My half of the utilities and the rent I got paid early." She smiles brightly and sets about going back to making herself coffee, pulling a loaf of bread open to slide slices into the toaster.
"Right, and yes. I've taken care of it already... Thank you." I take it and slide it into my bag to bank at lunch and mentally note down a memo to do so. I ritually pay our bills at the start of every month when I'm paid, having a very good wage in a great company with many perks makes it effortless to make sure we are always up to date.
"No surprise there then," she mumbles and throws me another affectionate look, all cute eyes, and gentle sighs as she regards me from a sideways look that I clearly catch. I just shake my head at her, fully aware that she prefers that I take control of our living expenses and always have. She's never been good with money and I doubt she would remember to pay the rent on time without my ever-efficient presence to do so. Taking care of things is how I like it to be; it gives me purpose, control, and a focus in my life that I so desperately need to thrive.
"I won't be home until six o'clock, Sarah. I presume you'll be at work by then, so have a wonderful day." I turn from the breakfast bar and head for the main door of our apartment, lifting my warm jacket as pass the dining table and turn with a smile when I reach the dark slate door.
"Oh, wait ... Good luck on meeting your super-hot boss for the first time, Miss. Anderson!" She beams at me excitedly, raising her eyebrows; leaning out across the worktop so all I can see is her head popping out from the kitchen at a funny angle. She looks messy but cute and far too awake for her today. I smile back emptily, not wanting to give my feelings away or show any weakness.
"Thanks." My face heats slightly with the rise of nerves hitting my stomach hard again but ignore the sensation, swallowing it all down with the expertise of a seasoned actress.
"Are you nervous?" she probes with a little furrow of her brow, still leaning out a little too far to watch me adjust my briefcase handle and pull my outside jacket on over my suit. I frown back at her question, the tightening knot in my stomach intensifying somewhat but I shake my head with a "No" in reply. If I admit it to her then I admit it to myself, then I'll let my nerves get the better of me and lose my edge.
That just wouldn't do at all.
"Of course, you're not ... You never are!" she adds quickly with a grin and slides back into her little culinary world, oblivious to anything amiss in my behavior today. I smile again as I watch her recede and turn with a wave of my fingertips before heading out the door on my mission to get to work.
Sweet Sarah.
So sure of my capabilities and cool, outward confidence.
I sometimes wonder if she even remembers the old me at all. If she even associates me with the girl I was when we met, so many years ago?
I close the door behind me quietly, holding onto the handle for a second as I take a deep steadying breath and take a moment to be still. Refusing to let emotion get the better of me and crack my armor. Looking down at the cool silver knob as a way of calming myself once more, steadying that creep of inner nerves and pushing down all my anxiety and fears.
I can do this.
It's what I've been working so hard for; finally, my abilities recognized after years of hard work and climbing the internal ladder. I need to push down the inner doubts and the final traces of my adolescent Emma, to focus on the tasks ahead of me. The responsibilities I'll be taking on after today. It's heady and overwhelming, but I steel my nerves inwardly, still my hands against me as I've practiced a million times in the last ten years. Everyday working toward this person I've become; this cool and confident persona known as Emma Anderson.
It takes a moment to be able to walk from the door, but as I do, the ar sliding up and the mask fully connecting with my face. Each step strengthening my resolve, back to my normal practiced demeanor and that inner me finding the will power and steady strength to pull this off, day after day. I head to the subway station.
CHAPTER II
He's twenty-eight and despite having worldly maturity about him, he looks younger than his age when you see pictures straight on and caught off guard. I can't deny that I see the appeal. He seems to have the body of someone who is graced with a good strong, tall physique, and he takes care of it. There are enough topless shots of him in the media to confirm that, and he's not shy about showing it off. He also seems to have a weakness for tribal and Aztec tattoos, which litter his body in a rather complimentary way. He looks like a typical brainless model; too good-looking to be a nice guy and far too muscular to have a decent IQ.
There's no doubt he's been blessed with more sex appeal than necessary for one man, and this is the root of my nausea. He's someone who charms and strings along women effortlessly. Unlike all the men I've ever known, and that makes me distrust him.
I can handle men who leech and grope, whose intent is written on their faces and have cowardly natures. I've never been faced with someone with the capabilities Jacob Carrero seems famed for. The effortless ability to make women swoon at his feet and follow him around doe-eyed and lust sick. The man seems to just click his fingers to find dates and they all scramble to get a go at him. It's pathetic really.
I know it's a huge honor to get this position. I know that I'm good at my job, and I've pleased the right people downstairs to even get here at such an early age, but feel sick and scared for the hundredth time. I'm doubting myself, despite my achievements; the curse of my self- doubts.
The old Emma still hidden in the shadows, shaking her head at me, and trying to convince me that I am a fraud. I don't know if I've overstepped my worth. I don't know if I'm capable of the task ahead of me. Capable of working with someone so young and as all-encompassing as Jacob Carrero, the celebrity hotel tycoon and New York's most eligible bachelor.
I pull my focus back to task, putting my mind onto doing something manual always helps me get myself together. I do as Margo asked and ready the large expensive espresso machine in the white kitchen. It's small, modern and sleek, if a little clinical, and seems to only be used to supply tea and coffee despite the huge refrigerators. I wipe down the surfaces of the machine and surrounding worktops, removing the dust from the coffee grounds and ready his tray with iced water. Taking some comfort in this calming task. My nerves still rattled, and this irritates me. I thought had gained more control than this.
I arrange everything she has requested neatly on his desk, straightening things as I go and checking the room to make sure everything is in its place. I like neatness, it makes me calm and feel more in control, as though somehow by everything being orderly, my life is more so.
I smooth down my blouse, now that I've removed my jacket, savoring the silky feel of the expensive pale gray fabric and return with the pile of mail and messages took for him yesterday. They're only the ones that require his attention and place them on his desk in line with the leather seat sitting neatly behind it.
The office is spacious and airy. One wall of glass and through it, the view of New York at its finest, hindered only by vertical blinds that sit open. Large abstract prints fill the sea of gray expanse to the left. I can't help but let my eyes skim over the silver framed pictures to the left corner of the wooden desk, with various people in black and white stills. Beautiful women, celebrities, and one of his father, Mr. Carrero Sr. Someone I've seen from a distance before, during a huge function last year that required extra staff. They look only vaguely alike in that Italian way, although I know Jacob must look more like his mother, as the resemblance ends there.
In pride of place is a large framed picture of, who I recognize, is his mother. She's very beautiful, and the resemblance is striking. Same dark hair, gorgeous face, cool tan. Same bright green eyes, and yet a gentle warmth in that face.
In comparison, Carrero senior is fairer haired with deep brown eyes and a tight, harsh face, etched with lines as though his skin is weather beaten. In the picture of father and son, there's a coldness between them, despite the fact they're standing close, holding a champagne bottle in front of a ship's stern. It sends a shiver down my spine. I know cold looks on men the memories are completely unwelcome.
I look around quickly making sure there's nothing else that requires my obsessive attention to detail and slide back out gracefully, assured everything is ready.
It's almost 9.00 a.m.; he will be arriving shortly, and my nerves are so taut I may actually snap with the tension if it isn't over soon.
I'm absent-mindedly twisting my pen in my fingers back at my desk, and it gives me a huge surge of anger-at myself. Stilling the pen sharply and laying it down with a smack and scowling at it as though it's the cause. Another habit from childhood that I'm permanently trying to overcome, and just one of the subtle tells that I'm not who perceive to be. The only flaw in my perfect demeanor that I grasp so tightly onto.
I fidget.
And it's so at odds with the persona I've managed to create for myself since my teen years, getting away from the life I once knew. A stark reminder of how far I've come from my childhood in Chicago, and a habit that annoys me on a serious level. Not only because it betrays the confidence I seem to emit, but also because it's juvenile. My fidgeting occurs on many levels. For the most part, I've mastered it, but with my raw nerves this morning; I'm betraying myself.
I still my hands and focus on typing the documents Margo has given me to adjust, reminding myself to take steadying breaths as I do so. To stay calm while waiting for my new boss to appear. It's agony.
Margo sweeps out into the foyer in a graceful cloud of Chanel No. 9, passes me at my glass desk near the entrance to our offices, indicating his arrival. My heart stops. She smiles my way fondly and quickly as she passes and gives me an encouraging wink as though am about to meet royalty.
Maybe I am.
Oh hell! Swallow. Deep breath. Relax.
I can hear her running through his itinerary out in the hall as they approach. I know she's been emailing him back and forth, but this verbal being brought up to speed is something she told me he prefers, to recap. Something I need to remember as it will be my role soon enough.
I stay seated and keep my eyes on my keyboard, willing my nerves to stay under wraps.
I catch him speak to her and despite seeing interviews online, I'm taken by surprise by the natural sound of his voice. It's deep and husky and has a boyishness to it that I never noticed in his interviews. The kind of voice you would recognize anywhere, even across a crowded room, and it draws you in. So crazily familiar and comforting. He sounds at ease with her and there's something alluring in it. Like a warmth sliding over you, completely throwing me.
I pause my typing as he laughs at something she says. It's unexpected and I flinch, shocked that it causes butterflies in my stomach.
I don't react like this to men!
Fumbling fingers on keys betray me, and I'm glad no one is paying me any attention.
I need to get hold of myself. Get a grip, Emma!
My cheeks instantly begin to warm, and I take my practiced steadying breath to curb my blush. There's gibberish on my screen and quickly hit the back button to remove it, hiding the evidence of my stumble. Cursing the inability of my clumsy fingers, cursing that childish part of me that I'm forever pushing down and trying to gag into silence.
Stop it, Emma Just stop. You are more capable than this.
There's a group of them walking through the main area of our airy office toward Margo's desk, which is behind me in a separate room. Margo is nearest, concealing him fully from view, but catch a glimpse.
He's still standing taller than her, despite her four-inch heels. There's two men with him; one in all black, suited and looking serious-he has some sort of wire in his ear, indicating he's most likely security. The other is dressed more casually, in a tan jacket and chinos and strolling along behind leisurely.
I realize this is Arrick Carrero, his younger brother. He's not in the papers as much, but I recognize him. He hasn't really inherited the same masculine beauty or presence as his brother, and he seems rather publicity-shy, although he is only late teens. I note that he's also only about five-foot nine, yet still muscular and has tawny hair much like his father's. to match his perfect-well, That same weird nose profile too that Jacob Carrero does not have. Jacob seems to have a perfect nose, everything. I wonder how Arrick feels, being the less attractive Carrero son, living in his brother's shadow.
CHAPTER III
Within a moment all of them are in his office, past Margo's inner door, and it's closed. I take a deep breath of relief and try again to type this document out, meeting with my usual success. Quick and swift skill with a keyboard now that I have no visual distractions.
It seems like an eternity has passed when my switchboard lights up, and the distant voice of Margot interrupts my concentration. I was unaware I'd been semi holding my breath until that second and give myself another stern inner shake.
"Emma, please come into Mr. Carrero's office. Thank you." The voice sounds distant and tinny on the remarkably high-tech machine.
"Yes, Mrs. Drake." I flinch at my use of her full name, knowing she asked me to call her Margo. I mentally scold myself to not repeat the mistake.
I don't make mistakes. Ever.
I slide up, smoothing down my clothes and putting my jacket back on quickly. Buttoning it up nervously as I walk the small distance to her door which blocks entrance to his.
It takes all my willpower to walk into the office, and all of my acting ability, dredged up from somewhere deep, to pull off the undaunted calm demeanor that try to present at all times. My stomach-turning somersaults, and my throat drying up. I don't know why I'm having so much trouble with it today.
"Ah, Emma, here you are." Margo meets me as I pull open the heavy wooden door and slide in. Suddenly conscious of how short I am, even in my spike heels, next to her swan like body. She stands tall for a woman and I stand at around five feet four.
"Jake, this is Emma Anderson. She's your new assistant in training. Your new number two." She smiles fondly at me and gestures me to come to her. I move beside her and get the gentle familiar pat on my shoulder as she tries to put me at ease.
I blink a few times, pausing at the use of the name Jake.
Am I missing something here?
It dawns on me he prefers the name Jake. Brain clicking with memories from my research. He corrected many interviewers and I remember he likes the informality and encourages using his first name; shortened first name.
All my thoughts slip away to nothing and I'm held captive to the floor, unable to speak as the object of my nerves gets out of his seat. This is what I've been afraid of! My reaction when faced with someone I find attractive, and it's completely new to me.
I don't even notice the others in the room as he effortlessly glides up and toward me. He has the walk of someone who's never doubted his own confidence or abilities. Someone who knew from early in life that he was devastatingly attractive and has the best kind of reaction from all women. It's mesmerizing in a way, but also disconcerting.
He towers above me as he approaches, putting him over the six- foot mark easily. Wearing all black; shirt and suit, minus a tie and top buttons open. The overall effect makes me breathless. He's beyond underwear model hot, he's like some female fantasy come to life.
Jeeze.
"Miss. Anderson." He extends an arm, and all I can do is reach out and shake the neatly manicured, yet oddly masculine, hand. I'm painfully aware of the way my heart quickens, and my breath is slightly labored at the tingling sensation of his skin on mine. I immediately feel betrayed by my own body.
I push it down, abhorred that I should react this way. It's alien to me and has me shifting on my own axis. I don't like being forced out of my comfort zone and into new experiences.
"Mr Car-" my voice is feeble. I'm so pathetic and obvious.
"Jake! Please," he cuts in; those green eyes taking me in, leaving me no clue to anything going on behind them.
"Margo informs me she's happy with you so far and will be training you a little more extensively in time, to step in fully when she retires. I guess that means we should get better acquainted on a first name basis." He throws me a charming, soft smile, and I'm not immune to the effect. It's a gesture that hints that he knows exactly what he's doing with it though.
So, this is how you win over women is it, Carrero? Melting them with seductive smiles. Ughhh.
My insides lurch unexpectedly. His hand is smooth and inhumanely warm in mine, and I'm starting to feel clammy. Anxious Emma peeking her head out, only to be pushed back down with a firm shove.
Be still, Emma... Stay cool. Stop drooling.
"I'm really grateful for the opportunity." I sound normal enough, only a slight waver in my voice this time and I'm relieved. If anything, my years of poise are saving me from myself right now. Pulling off the pretense.
He subtly looks me over. There's nothing in it, which surprises me.
Just an interested appraisal as he tries to measure me up. I guess he's used to women going all weak-kneed and pie-eyed at his presence and it interests him that I don't appear to be. I'm glad he can't see my internal reactions, as they are behaving disgustingly right about now.
I'm unnerved that this close he's just as handsome, if not more than his internet pictures, and his ruggedness is intimidating. The sheer power of his shoulders and toned body, straining behind the expensive clothing. I know from photographs he prefers more casual attire than suits and ties most of the time. He's sexually intimidating and so far out of my league in every way and now, in the flesh, it's so much more obvious. I swallow hard.
"Can I get you a drink, Emma? You look flushed." His voice pours over me like honey, and my mouth dries up fully. I'm blushing, heat emanating from my roots and scowl at my inner-adolescent self. He removes his hand and walks away from me to his desk with a confident swagger.
I'm uneasy and try to regain my equilibrium, swallowing several times to get the moisture back into my parched mouth and keep my eyes off his ass. A drink would be good right now, if only to release my throat.
"Thank you." I catch Margot watching me with a strange look in her eye, and I realize it's a touch of uncertainty. Mr. Carrero moves off to a bar at the rear of the room, to the side of his desk, with his back to us to fix me a drink.
Shit!
She's thinking I'm just another receptionist with the hots for Mr. Carrero. Another woman to fall at the hurdle of meeting him.
I try to pull myself together, smooth invisible wrinkles in my clothes and straighten my body up, trying to get back my professional air and grace. I hate that I've shown signs of being rattled. I don't normally break under so little pressure, and I'm not impressed with myself.
I catch her expression warm up, and I relax.
Perhaps I'm overthinking this.
I'm mindful that Mr. Black Suit is standing in a corner by the window, glaring at us; it's a little intimidating, but also reassuring. Just out of sight to my far left on the long cream Italian leather couch, the younger man is sitting below some huge prints of modern artistry depicting what might be naked women. I blink and look again. Yes, naked women.
Ughhh. Really? Could you be anymore playboy, Carrero?
Arrick is disinterested in what's going on. He's playing with his cell, and I think I recognize the Angry Birds music that Sarah loves to irritate me with. An annoying, immature game, although Arrick looks late teens to early twenties so he can be forgiven for a juvenile game, I suppose.
"Here you go," Jake's voice cuts into my thoughts, bringing my attention back to him as he hands me a tall glass of something bubbly with ice. I take a sip and give him a grateful smile, expecting flavored water. It's a cold, clear liquid that tastes sweetly tropical with a hint of unexpected alcohol.
I guess it's not iced water.
It's a cocktail and try not to show my surprise, but a tiny frown hits my brow before I can correct it. Inwardly startled.
Surprising. He did this himself. Booze at work though?
"Thank you, Mr. ... Jake." I correct, and he gives me a soft smile again. I ignore the butterflies in my stomach rising from it, with a minor annoyance.
Stop behaving like a fourteen-year- old!
"So, Emma, Margo tells me you've worked here for just over five years?" he sits back to perch on his desk, body relaxed, and eyes fixed on me. Margo standing close by, listening. He is distractingly good-looking, more so when he lazes all casual and charming, and very un-boss like.
"Yes. I've worked on various floors, but mainly tenth." I move to place my glass on the table, so my fingers don't toy with the rim showing my nervous habits. I'm disappointed to be putting it down, it tasted amazing, but I'm not a fan of alcohol at work, or anytime for that matter. He has skills with making drinks though.