I am not the Villain

I was hurrying to get ready for the first back-to-school party we used to call the ritual of the school year, but it was just a lame excuse for young people to stuff their faces. The clock struck 6:50 pm, if I didn't finish in less than five minutes I would be late. I was frantically curling my curls in a way to finish faster, which wasn't working, until the creak of the door woke me up and made me stop curling my hair. For a brief moment I thought it was my mother, until Felipe came through the door.

- Hi, you're here already - I smiled as I saw him enter my room.

- Yes my princess, you look very beautiful. - He said pulling me around the waist.

I was wearing a black dress that emphasized my curves, my make-up was light, I wore only a base and a kitten eyeliner, along with a purple lipstick, which matched very well with what I was wearing.

- You look like a prince, as always! - I returned the compliment.

- You know I love it when you compliment me, don't you? - he asked, whispering, which gave me goose bumps.

- As soon as I answered, he started a kiss, calm and slow, without any hurry, which made me gasp, he knew in every way which were my weak points, and his gentle kiss was one of them, I was madly in love with him, but as everything that is good lasts a little, the kiss was ended because of the damn lack of air.

- Let's go or we'll be late," he warned.

I took one last look in the mirror and fixed the lipstick that had just smeared and after grabbing my purse, we went downstairs together to the floor below where I would say goodbye to my mother. The party hall was a thirty minute drive from my house and an hour walk, but we would arrive quickly since Felipe came in his car. When we arrived at the first floor, my mother was watching a movie with a bucket of popcorn in her hand, this was what she did most when she missed my father.

- Mom, we'll be right there. I promise to be back before midnight. - I warned

- All right daughter, be careful on your way back and don't use too much alcohol - My mother spoke as if begging me.

- Don't worry, I will take good care of her, mother-in-law - It was Felipe's turn to speak up, and if it was up to him, I wouldn't put a drop of alcohol in my mouth, because he knew perfectly well what my relationship with alcohol was like.

- Then I will trust you, Felipe.

- Dona Maria, you bet.

- Bye mom, see you later!

After saying goodbye to my mother, we went to his car and after he opened the door, I could sit down. Eduardo was two years older than me, which brought small advantages, for example, he could drive and take me to some places I asked without needing my family's private driver. He had gotten his car as an eighteenth birthday present, and he was responsible enough to drive a car.

We met in the first year of high school, in exactly three months we will have been dating for two years and we will also have our engagement party, he had officially asked me at the end of the year party, which made me very happy. Different as you might think, my life was not as good as my family makes it out to be. My father is a renowned judge in our town, which takes him on several trips throughout the days, leaving his supposedly perfect wife and a healthy daughter at home alone, which was a lie, my mother was nothing but a sad and unhappy woman and a depressive daughter.

Felipe brought back what my father had taken from me, my happiness. In these almost two years I was getting back to who I was before, a smiling girl who loved to help people, but who as a consequence of her father's acts and atrocities had closed herself off to the world, and only her best friends were left by her side.

- What have you been thinking so much? You don't even look like my fiancée," Felipe asked laughing, snapping me out of my thoughts.

- About the things in my life and how you helped me to improve - I was sincere.

- And I will always be by your side, to help you each day more - He said what made my eyes fill with tears and then made me open a huge smile.

- Thank you for always being with me." He gave me a long kiss as soon as I finished the sentence, which brought a silly smile to my face.

As soon as we arrived at the place, it was already possible to hear the loud music and some already drunk teenagers at the door of the house where the party was taking place. We went to the parking lot together and when we got out of the car, not so close to the party, there was a girl with deep glasses being cornered by two girls from the dance group, pathetic the new girl was, what had she done to piss off Aline?

- You shouldn't do this to her," Felipe magically appeared on the girl's side, making me feel a little jealous.

- Cut it out Felipe, this blind girl spilled soda on my skirt, stay at the side of the Trix that is better than you do - Aline said angrily.

- Come on baby, this is none of our business! - I pulled him back to me.

- But you wouldn't like it if it happened to your friends, would you? - he asked softly, which made me frown.

- We're too popular for that to happen, now let's go! - I ended up ordering him, which made him look startled, and even I was startled by the way I had spoken.

I stomped firmly on the ground, this scene had upset me, it was rare that he would defend someone as well as respond to me, let alone a complete stranger like that girl. As soon as we entered the house, the place was full of balls and glasses of drinks on the tables, and from a distance I could see my friends, which made me smile and wave slightly.

- My friends are at the drinks table, I will talk to them and meet you soon - I warned

- Don't forget that we have to be back before midnight.

- Don't worry, before 10:00 I will meet you." I said goodbye with a kiss and went to meet my friends and they shrugged.

I went closer and immediately I saw Lucas devouring a glass of drink and as always victory complaining to him, he knew how fragile he was and still tried to drink.

- Of course you would be here - I said laughing.

- This idiot knows how he is when it comes to drinking and he still gets like this - Victory slapped him on the back while he choked on his drink.

- He's only seventeen and he's already like this, your liver can take it! - Every time Lucas ingested alcohol, even a small amount, he vomited horribly, not to mention that he also got drunk very quickly.

- Look who's talking, you can't stand it either, Beatrix," he rebutted, which made me raise my eyebrows at his audacity.

- How bold.

- Where's Felipe? You didn't come with him? - Victoria asked as she looked around.

- Yes, he's probably with his friends right now.

Lucas was sitting in a wooden chair right beside us, he was dozing even with all the noise he was making, but how could he do it, for heaven's sake, but I knew, it was already the effect of alcohol in his organism and the next step was to wait for the vomit.

- A new girl arrived at school - Victoria was scanning the place looking for something.

- And what is her name? - I asked curiously

- Caroline, she's a friend of the nerds, João and Marlon.

- Did she come today?

- Yes, she even got into a fight with Aline - I said, thinking it was the funniest thing in the world.

So that ugly girl with the deep glasses was the new girl in school?

- I saw that, I guess news spreads fast.

- I wish I had, just like you did," she sipped her wine.

- Felipe even defended her, before I pulled him back - I said a little angry.

- You've barely arrived and you're already causing all this commotion.

I agreed, and we went to the dance floor, and our bodies moved with every touch of the music, attracting the attention of the people in the place, the parties held in celebration were always fun, especially when I could do what I liked most, dance.

Some people accompanied us in the dance, and some boys tried to get close to me, which was harassment, and I knew very well how to deal with a harasser. As soon as the clock struck 10:00 PM, I went out to look for Felipe, which surprised me, since he was with the famous nerd group, people he avoided the most on the face of the earth.

- I kissed him, making the new girl a little uncomfortable.

- I almost forgot I had to take you back," I said, pulling away.

- So shall we go? - I called and he agreed, his eyes shining when they met the new student's, which made me a little angry.

- Sure thing, see you guys tomorrow," he said goodbye.

- See you tomorrow, losers! - I was also kind enough to say goodbye, which made Felipe look at me sad, but I just ignored him.

We went to the car and I avoided looking at him, I didn't want to start a fuss over something that might be unnecessary, but anyway, I was a little sad. He knew about all my fears, it wasn't possible for him to hurt me, was it?

- Why did he treat them like that? - he asked me, paying attention to the steering wheel. I wanted to avoid this conversation and apparently he wanted to have it.

- I don't like them and I didn't like that girl," I said sincerely and firmly.

- Tell me who do you like? - This time he asked me a little ignorantly.

- All the girls, except her.

- You don't even know her!

- Do you? - I asked, and he remained silent.

- Let's stop here. I don't want to continue this conversation.

I could have everything, money, trips whenever I wanted, but he knew how insecure I was in terms of appearance, even with everyone around me telling me how perfect I was, the reality is that I hated myself, but I liked the things I had. When we arrived at my house it was 10:40 PM, the car was stopped right in front of the house and neither of us made a sound, I felt like crying, both for the way he had treated me, and the cruel way my thoughts were making me think of things that didn't exist.

- See you tomorrow, okay? - he asked.

- Yes, can you come pick me up? - I asked

- He gave me a kiss that I couldn't help but reciprocate.

I watched him start the car and sighed, what a night. Maybe I had messed up, but I knew that it was just my anxiety playing tricks on me and I also knew how much he loved me and that he would never be able to hurt me.

When I entered the hall, I realized that the light in the living room was on, maybe my mother was still waiting up for me, and at least I had kept my promise, I got home before 00:00 at night.

- What are you still doing up, Mom?

- I couldn't sleep until you arrived.

- Well, now that I'm home, I guess we can sleep.

- Yes, dear, we can finally sleep.

My mother sighed with relief, she was on insomnia medication and I knew how sleepy she got, in that I was being a bad daughter to her, but now she could rest.

- Good night mommy.

- Good night my child.

And so ended another monotonous day.

The day dawned and as usual my mother woke me up so that I wouldn't lose time, after I took my shower and did my needs and as soon as I left the bathroom I got dressed in my school uniform, went downstairs to the stairs and went towards the dining room and accompanied her at breakfast, Patricia, the woman who worked in our house had helped my mother with breakfast since today the cooks didn't come, as well as all the household stuff. My mother didn't like to depend on people and only agreed to have a woman to help her with the housework on my father's orders.

- Mom, Felipe is here, I'm coming! - I warned from the door.

- Have a good class.

- Bless you mom.

- May God bless you my daughter.

As soon as we arrived I could see how the school was. The school situation was chaotic, several students were scattered in the central courtyard of the school, both new and veteran students. Pedro and Gabriel, Felipe's two friends, as soon as they saw us arrive came to accompany us and it was no different from Lucas and Vitoria. Lucas did not look good, maybe he was still drunk or had a hangover.

- Has anyone seen the new girl? - Gabriel asked, searching the four corners of the courtyard.

- From her poor face, maybe she is already arriving, since apparently her parents don't even have a motorcycle to bring her," I joked.

- Girl, you are cruel! - Aline said behind me while kissing Pedro, who is her current boyfriend.

- This is getting ridiculous, Trix," Felipe scolded me.

- Stop being silly, brother. You're the one who makes the most fun of her friends," Gabriel reminded him and he shook his head in denial.

- You play tricks too," I continued while the rest of the group laughed.

- This Felipe is gone, the current one is nice.

He had changed from water to wine, and I believed in his change since he was not a boy of lies and when he said something, he kept it. I really hoped that this change had nothing to do with the new girl, as I also hoped that nothing would change between us, I was totally dependent on him and this I would never deny.

The principal started her boring speech of welcome and how our lives would change in this last year of high school, since, according to her, it was the year for choosing our future and she was right, although I knew what my future was I didn't like the idea of discovering other areas, which would make me change my mind about the first one and would make my father hate me, since I am heir to the Edwards company and I would easily claim it if I had another sister or brother.

- Are you ready for the game at the beginning of the school year? - Peter asked the boys, which woke me up from my trance and made me realize that I had only been paying attention to the beginning of the principal's speech.

- It's already tomorrow, isn't it? - Gabriel asked.

Felipe was the leader of the school basketball team, Gabriel and Pedro were also on the popular team, and me and the girls were on the dance team, which made me happy since tomorrow I would be able to dance and only then, live up to the Edwards family name.

- Unfortunately, but I am confident, since during the vacations we met a lot with the rest of the team to train, you can be sure, the victory is ours! - Felipe said confidently.

- I don't belong to anyone, only to me! - This time Victoria spoke up, drawing laughter from everyone in our group, which made me laugh too, she was very funny.

- Beast, I wasn't talking about you, and I think you know that," Felipe smiled and then held his tongue.

- I think the trix is available for that." She smiled back, which made him give me a long kiss and everyone shouted low.

- You're a real jerk, Felipe," I smiled, returning the kiss.

- And you are my princess.

We stared at each other like two teenagers in love and the reality was that we really were, he made me happy and I would never deny how much he had saved me.

- Gabriel made a queasy face as well as the rest of us, "Let's go to class, everyone's already going.

Our books were already stored in our lockers since the end of the school year, and in the hurry, I was the first to move away to get my books and get a good jump in the classroom, a myope who didn't wear glasses just suffered.

I got off balance with so many people who were also going to get their books, and in an act of getting my balance back on track I accidentally bumped into a girl smaller than me, and before I could apologize she turned around with a hateful look on her face and only then I could see who it was, it was the new girl.

- Are you blind, girl? - She asked ignorantly as if she were the strongest person in the world.

- Watch your mouth, you didn't use all your ignorance with Carla yesterday, why? - I asked, watching her get uncomfortable while she looked back and as soon as I looked I understood why, Felipe was coming.

- Did something happen here? - Felipe asked as soon as he and the rest approached.

- She purposely bumped into me, which made me drop my books," she said in a sweet tone, pointing to the books that were not on the floor before.

- You're a pushy girl, that's not exactly how it happened, is it? - I asked, cornering her.

- I don't know what you're talking about." She played the victim, which made me angry.

- Sorry, beautiful - Felipe defended her, he almost doesn't compliment anyone to compliment her - This won't happen again - he said - Be nice for once in your life and pick up the books you dropped trix - He looked at me seriously and I smiled.

The girl purposely dropped her books when she realized that Felipe was coming, apparently he hadn't believed me, but I would do what he was asking like the kind soul that I was, I would gladly do it. I could hear a wry laugh coming from Caroline, as did the incredulous looks on the faces of our friends and others in the hallway.

- My pleasure, love. - I said wryly.

I slowly lowered myself onto my back, leaning my butt against Felipe's side, and gathered up the two books on the floor. As I picked them up, I returned to the position I had been in a few minutes before, her gaze changed to discomfort and before she could pick them up, I purposely dropped them on her foot, drawing laughter from my friends.

- You don't know who you're messing with, girl. You want me to be the villain? Fine, I will, just don't ask me to stop, because I really won't." I whispered in her ear and walked into the living room without even picking up mine.

Our friends had followed me, except for him, which made me sad. I didn't know what this girl was up to, but I would find out and show her the real person she was.

- You were great, my friend! - Aline hugged me as soon as I sat down at the last table at the back.

- She knocked over the books herself and wanted to play the victim," I said, betting how red with rage I was.

- She did the same thing to Aline and played the victim to me, the difference is that I was far away and saw what really happened," Peter said.

- I think she's going to play the victim for all the boys in this school, I hope they all realize what a bitch this saintly little bitch is," Victoria said, and after a few minutes Philip and Caroline came in, their eyes looked teary, but I wouldn't care, because I'm not the villain.

When Felipe sat next to me he didn't say anything, it was as if he was angry about what had happened a few minutes ago, and as soon as the first teacher entered the room, he was totally immobile just thinking, and I would give anything to know what.

The class went by quickly, well, it wasn't really a class, just the introduction of the teachers and the delivery of the content they would be going over. Sometimes I caught the new student staring at Felipe, who didn't seem to notice, but I made a point of kissing him and she quickly turned her face away. How could a person be the way she was?

When we were released, both the dance team and the basketball team had stayed for the last practice before tomorrow's game, since we were going to dance for the opening. Aline and I were leaders of the dance team, not so close, but she was also my friend.

- Not like this girls, the right leg comes first," I shouted so that everyone on the court could hear and adjust the choreography.

- What if we could make a bridge at the end with everyone jumping? - suggested Clara.

- That would be a good idea, we can try it next time, but now it's too high and we'll need a lot of practice," I said.

- Next time, clara. You're dismissed! - shouted Aline and they headed for the ladies' room.

- Will you shower here or at home? - She asked me, wiping her face with a towel.

- At home, I'll just look for Felipe to take me back.

- He left earlier, didn't you see, my friend? - She asked and I was confused.

- Honestly no, has he been gone long?

- About an hour ago! - Peter came up behind us talking.

- Do you know where he went?

- No, he said he had something to take care of and let us go early.

- Maybe it's something at his house." I got thoughtful when I said it, he wasn't one to leave early, and even more so when he was away from the training sessions he liked so much, not to mention that he would also tell me. Strange.

- I'll take you home if you want," Peter suggested.

- Thank you very much and I accept your ride, it will help me a lot to not get mugged on the way home.

- No need to be so dramatic Beatrix, your way back home is the easiest way there is - Aline reminded me.

- Wait for me outside and I'll get the car," Felipe asked.

We walked outside the school and I was very apprehensive about why Felipe had not warned me that he would leave earlier and would not give me a ride, I was worried about his health and also that of his family that I loved so much, but if we were engaged, we had to share everything with the other not to fall into a routine and end up wearing out.

- Relax, it might have been something to do with one of his relatives," Aline said as if reading my thoughts.

- Yes, maybe it was and I'm just exaggerating thinking about things that don't exist!

- He loves you, I'm sure he would never hurt you.

- Sometimes I am afraid and I admit that I am feeling threatened by the arrival of the new student, I feel that she is not a good person.

- I noticed this at the party yesterday, anyway, we will have to be careful with her too," Aline told me and I wondered what she was capable of when Pedro came calling us.

The trip to my house lasted about twenty minutes, when I said goodbye to my friends and entered the house, I heard loud noises coming from my father's room, it was always like this when he arrived, he charged me and my mother, something we did without him even asking, my mother lived in an unhappy marriage, all because of my late grandfather, an arranged marriage always ended like this, neither of us felt love for each other, at least on my father's part, since I felt how much my mother loved him.

When I got to my room, I locked my door and started to cry, it was as if my problems were coming back and I was falling apart without having anything to do. Loud sobs could be heard, until to avoid my mother coming to ask what was going on, I decided to go to the bathroom so that I could be alone and no one would have to interrupt me and I wouldn't have to give answers.

I don't know how long I had stayed in the bathroom drowning my tears in the water, but when I came out I realized that the noise had ceased and when I reached the window, my father's car was no longer there. Of course, he was never home, as if he had another family. Even though he gives us everything, the one thing he doesn't give us is love.

I put on a sweatshirt and short shorts and went downstairs to the dining room, I was hungry and hadn't eaten since I got home from school. When I looked at the clock I was startled, it read almost six o'clock at night, but what time had I gotten home from school? I needed to do something before going downstairs, I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Felipe's number, which was in vain, since I didn't get an answer, but later I would try again.

I found my mother crying as soon as I arrived in the dining room, it was one of the things I hated the most to see, I felt that everything that happened to her was my fault, even though I knew that this was not the truth.

- Mom, did something happen? - I touched her back gently and she startled, but then smiled reassuringly.

- No, dear, just the same old thing, you don't have to worry about that," she said as she wiped away her tears.

- I don't like seeing you like this, Mom.

- Just like I don't like to see you sad, but that's adult life, dear, you're going to get engaged soon and you'll know what that's like.

- I guess there won't be any more engagements," I sighed.

- And why do you think that, dear?

- Philip has changed with the arrival of a new student, I don't think he will want to marry me anymore," I said sadly.

- Nonsense of your head dear, it may just be a coincidence, he loves you and has always proved it to you - he reminded me and I smiled sideways

- Yeah, maybe it's just anxiety, but with you your problems will soon be solved.

- May the heavenly father hear you.

After our conversation, we got a piece of chocolate cake and went to watch movies on the sofa in the living room, it was funny how I could forget my problems when I was with my mother and seeing her happy made me happy. It was after six o'clock when I went back to my room and I still had no messages from Felipe and I was starting to think about going to his house to find out what had happened, and that's what I was going to do.

I put on a floral dress and beige sneakers, I was clean, so I would take a shower on the way back, my family had a private driver and he was the one who would take me there. His parents had a contract with Edwards, my family's company. It was no wonder that our relationship and engagement was approved by both families, he was also heir to his family's company that owned several properties and my father was the judge and my mother the lawyer for his family.

- Mom, I'm going to Felipe's house - I told her as soon as I went downstairs and found her on the sofa.

- All right dear, ask marcio to take you and don't come back too late - she asked.

- All right, mom.

I went in the direction of the staff's house and when I knocked on the door who answered it was Mr. Marcio, which made me smile since he was the one I was looking for. He was a 55 year old man who had been working as a private driver for my family for three years, he always gave us a lot of confidence, that's why he was my father's right-hand man. I recently learned that he had a daughter and that he also had a wife, he was allowed to return to his home three times, and sometimes stay for two weeks, he was a very responsible and respectful gentleman, that's why my father liked him very much.

- What can I do for you, miss?

- Can you take me to my fiancé's house now? - I asked, and he smiled gently.

- Your request is my command, ma'am. One moment please." He asked as he entered the house, he was tidy, so she assumed he was just going to get his car keys.

It didn't take a minute for him to come back and we left as soon as he arrived. Our silent trip took thirty minutes and when we arrived Mr. Marcio was kind enough to open the door for me, I considered him as a grandfather since he was so kind to me and my family.

I rang the bell and on the third ring Mrs. Surya answered. Surya was the maid of the Russo family, an old lady who had been in the family for three generations and a very sweet woman to me.

- Trix, my child, long time no see! - She hugged me as soon as she saw me. - She gave me permission.

- Long time no see, Mrs. Surya! I was missing your lemon cakes - I was gentle as I remembered the taste.

- She guided me into the living room and when Mr. and Mrs. Russo saw me, they came over to hug me.

- Trix, dear. It's been a long time since you've visited us! - Cristina kissed me on the cheek.

- I have to agree with my wife, miss. Try to visit us more - Mr. Francisco said.

- I promise I'll come more often, I've been very busy lately and haven't had time for myself.

- Your mother and I are already making all the arrangements for the engagement ceremony, so you don't have to worry about that.

- I confess that I'm anxious. But where is Felipe? - I asked and they looked at me confused.

- We thought he had just arrived with you, dear! - Francisco made me frown.

- No, he's not with me, I thought something had happened here, he left basketball practice early. - I remarked.

- So I guess he ended up playing cards again," Cristina was furious.

- This guy, I hope his engagement will straighten him out," Mr. Francisco sighed.

- It's okay, well, I don't want to take up your time, I came here because I was worried about him, but since he's not here, I'll go back to my place. - I warned - I'll be back to see you more often - That was a promise.

- What a pity you won't be staying any longer dear, your company is good for us! - Cristina spoke sweetly.

- I promise I'll be back soon.

As soon as I spoke Ms. Surya came in with the piece of lemon cake she had said she would bring for me, and I wouldn't be undone when I stay for a few more minutes, I ended up lost in time and after almost an hour, Felipe had arrived happy, which made him wilt his smile as soon as he saw me.

- Look what a great visit we had today, son - Cristina pointed at me and then called him to come closer, and so he did.

- Yes, a very nice visit." He kissed my cheek as if he was forcing himself.

- No need for all this Ms. Cristina, now I really have to go - I said looking at the clock - Can you take me? - I asked Felipe.

- Yes, let's go.

I said goodbye to his parents and we went to his room, I knew that if I asked where he was we would fight again and that was all I didn't want, so it would be better to avoid my suffering even though I was curious to know where he was. He didn't say a word in the car, and ran as if he was rushing to something, but the advantage was that we arrived quickly. We said goodbye with a brief kiss and he promised me that the next day we would meet again, when I got home my mother was already asleep, which made me sigh with relief, just so she wouldn't ask how it was at his house.

I went into my room and took a quick shower, only washing from my neck down, after I put on my pajamas I went straight to my bed, today had been a long day and I needed to rest, my eyes felt heavy and then I fell asleep and the last memory was Felipe's look at me.