I Love You, Perrine

The song 'Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran' started playing. Nice song for this wedding.

In the middle of the music, I decided to go inside the church. The interior design of the church was even more beautiful because of the red carpet, colourful flowers, and of course because of the beautiful and handsome bridesmaids.

Exactly four years ago when met each other here. At that moment I knew that he's the one. The first touch of my skin on his skin, I felt different from him. I just saw him for the first time, I already fall for him. I think it's a love at first sight.

I still remember how our eyes accidentally met, and I felt then I would melt in about three seconds when he looked at me and when he smiled my heart beat faster. Ever since I saw him he never left in my mind.

"Do you take him to be your husband? Do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and to honor him all the days of your life?"

"Yes, I do."

Is it really possible? To suddenly fall in love to someone you just met for the first time? My answer is, yes. Love does many things that we do not expect.

"Do you take her to be your wife? Do you promise to be faithful to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her and to honor her all the days of your life?"

"Yes, I do." Tearful answer of the groom.

I wiped the tears from my cheeks and hurried out of the church and answered the call of my friend, Gaira. I took a deep breath before I answered it.

"Hello, Gaira." I tried to smile even though she couldn't see me.

"Where are you?" Gaira ask me over the phone.

I took another deep breath to calm myself and not cry or not to crack my voice.

"W-Why?"

"Of course, We are looking forward to your return!" It's no longer Gaira, it's Jhiezhl and I think the two of them are together now.

"Mrs. Perrine Saplala–Cariaga, where are you now?"

Mrs. Perrine Saplala–Cariaga. It's nice to hear that my last name is already attached to the last name of the man I love.

"Give me my cell phone-Hey, Perrine! Where are you? We are waiting you here at our favorite café." This is Gaira again.

My grip on the cell phone tightened. I am mad with myself because, I feel annoyed and angry with one of my best friends, Gaira, which I shouldn't be. I can't help but be angry with my friend and I want to slap her right now, but I know its not her fault.

"Maybe tomorrow. I'm a little tired." My excuse to them.

Because right now I can't face Gaira, and maybe I will slap her and pour out the annoyance I feel.

"The new Mrs Cariaga is tired on their honeymoon." Jhiezhl is teasing me.

"Looks like you'll have a baby sooner, Perrine." Gaira was also teasing me. "Advance, congrats, Perrine." She added.

"You are both crazy. Sorry, I have to go. Bye." I immediately ended the call.

I quickly ran to where my car was parked. When I entered, I slapped the steering wheel to poured out all the pain I feel now also my anger at my friend Gaira, and my anger at myself.

Yes, the man I love married me, but he doesn't have the slightest feelings for me, other than anger. He doesn't love me. He hates me.

I took a deep breath then started the car and headed home. It was night when I got home. When I enter in our house I saw my husband in the living room holding a bottle of wine and three other bottles of wine on the glass table. He looks drunk.

I sat down next to my Husband. "You're drunk, let's go to our room."

My husband looked at me. His eyes are already red also his smooth cheeks were red.

I touched the both of my husband's cheeks, and he looked at me. "I love you." I said with all my heart.

My husband smiled at me. Ohmygash! Does this mean that he is gradually accepting me?

"Did you know? I got drunk, so I forgot that I married the best friend of the woman I love." He said and go up.

I took a deep breath and at the same time my tears flowed. A few minutes passed before I finally stopped crying.

When I put away the clutter, I went up to our room. When I held the door knob, it was lock. I knock a few times on our bedroom door, but my Husband still wouldn't open it. Its looks like he was already sleeping. I just went to the other room, in our guest room.

The moment I enter in the guestroom, I immediately lay down. On the soft bed and closed my eyes.

My Husband and I just got arrange, that's why we got married. At first, I didn't want to get married because of the idea of the arranged marriage, but when I saw who I was going to get married, there was no vessel for the joy I felt at that time.

It's the guy I saw in the church. He was more handsome up close. He had black hair, beautiful and thick eyebrows. Pierce his nose and smooth his face. He has a deep voice and a good smell of perfume. The man I dream of is the one I will be marrying? Is this destiny or what? I only know one. I am happy to marry the man I love.

Until we were about to get married.

Before we got married, he told me that our silly wedding would only stop if I will not go. I didn't agree. He's my dream man. But, he told me his reason. Reason that I almost did not attend our wedding.

He told me in my face how much he loved my friend, Gaira. He wanted to end our marriage during those times, but he could not let his parents fail him.

I was happy when my Husband told me he couldn't afford to ruin our wedding. Because no matter what happens and for whatever reason, I will never let him go. I love him so much.

Last week is our honeymoon. Everyone knew we were very happy, what they didn't know was my Husband left me and immediately came here. And I just came home today.

I smile.

I knew at first that my Husband will like this. I know, he will also learn to love me. Not like how he love my best friend Gaira, but he will accept me too. I hope.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"I cook dinner for you." I said to my Husband when he entered the house.

"I already ate outside." My Husband replied coldly then he goes up.

I followed him. "Why do you smell of alcohol? Did you drink again?"

"So what?"

"Where?"

"At the bar."

"W-Who's with you?"

"Workmates."

"Is there a woman?" When I ask that, it was as if my tears were already forming at the corner of my eyes.

Please just simply say no.

"Of course! I have female employees in the office. Use your damn common-sense!" My husband answered irritably and slammed the door of our room.

I just went down and went straight to the kitchen. I sat down and looked at the dish I cook for my husband. Well, I think it's better that he didn't eat my cook for him because everything looks bad.

We've been married for a years, but I've never been able to eat with my husband, not even to be with him all day. He still doesn't taste what I cook for him. No, he once drank I brewed coffee for him.

I covered the dishes on the table. I will just eat this tommorow.

I went up to our room again to pick up the dirty clothes and fix our laundry for tomorrow. I stopped fixing my Husband's dirty clothes when I saw one of his long-sleeve polo had with red lipstick on the collar.

When he came out in the bathroom, I approached him. "What is this?" I tearfully ask.

"My blue long sleeve." He simply answered.

"With a red lipstick?"

My Husband immediately took the long sleeve and looked at what I was referring to. "This is nothing." He said and put on dirty clothes.

"Nothing? That's a red lipstick! Do you have a another woman?!"

"None. Of course not."

"What's that red lipstick?" I couldn't stop crying.

"I said that's nothing. Will you stop crying like a baby?!"

"Why is it hard to believe you?"

I wiped the tears from my cheeks when the doorbell rang and then went down. Before opening the door I took a deep breath. Who is going to come to us at this time?

When I opened the door, I saw a woman whose face was unfamiliar to me.

"Hello good evening. I'm in a hurry, is your husband already here?"

"What do you need from my husband?"

The woman took a wrist watch from her bag. The wrist watch she showed me was familiar.

"He left it in my car earlier. Can you give this to your husband?"

My jaw was left in the air. This wrist watch I gave to my Husband on his last birthday and she left it to this woman?

I could no longer think correctly and I quickly caught up with the woman in front of me. I pull her long bouncy hair.

"PERRINE!" I heard my Husband shout as he came down.

I let the woman go when my husband took her away from e.

"What's going on here?!" My husband shouted at me.

"Your wife suddenly pulled my hair, I just want to give you this watch." The woman said and gave the wrist watch to my Husband.

"Thank you, Scarlet. Sorry about this mess. Let's talk tomorrow." My husband replied to the woman and she leave.

After leaving the woman, my Husband look at me.

"What was that?!" He shouted at me.

"You said you don't have another woman? Then who's that? And for the record she has your watch. The watch I gave to you?! Seriously?!"

"That's why you suddenly pulled her hair like that?!"

"Can I ask you something? Am I ugly?"

"Why are you asking me like that suddenly?"

"JUST answer my question."

"No."

"Am I not sexy? Am I a bad person? Am I not a good wife to you? Is something missing from me?! Am I not enough?!"

"N-No..."

"THEN, WHY?! Why did you not even try to love me or accept me?! Why did you cheated on me?!"

"How many times do I have to tell you that there's no other woman, it's only-"

"It's only, Gaira!" I cut what will he said next. "I know my friend is the only one you love. The fact that you only love is my best friend, that's already hurts, here." I pointed my heart. "But, having another woman? It's like you killing me inside. You know what? In the past three years with you? I just want to hear with you or say with me, I Love You, Perrine. But you never or try to said me that. I really don't know why I'm still inlove with you. You did nothing to me but hurt my feelings. Did you know what I'd realized? I think my husband will never love me back or accept me. And now, I'm trying my best to forget my feelings for you, because falling in love with you was the tiring I did."

I took my car key from the drawer and left the house. I went straight to my car and quickly got in and started the car engine. I was about to start the car when suddenly my Husband knocked on window.

"Perrine, where are you going? Open this damn door! Let's talk! Wife!"

I didn't listen to him and still left the house.

I took a deep breath then let out tears in my eyes.

Three years.

Reed and I were together for three years, but he did nothing to me but hurt me emotionally. Pitying, kneeling, being a good wife just so my Husband would love or accept me. But, one of them he did not pay attention.

I looked at my cell phone when my Husband called me again.

I smiled.

I love you so much, Reed Cariaga.

If I don't get tired for loving you, I will just set you free.

I slowly open my eyes and when I open my eyes I saw a white ceiling, white light and one handsome man.

"Are you okay?" The man in front of me ask.

He look worried while looking at me.

"Hey, are you okay?" He ask me again.

He's handsome. He, has an attractive eyes. A towering height. He's skin is creamy beige. Has a pinkish and kissable lips. Pinkish cheeks and he also have a perfect jaw.

When I try to move my body it suddenly ache.

"You are still weak. Rest first." The man said to me.

I get up and just as the man was leaving I speak.

"W-Who are you? Who am I? What is my name?" I force myself to speak to find out what I want to know.

Whatever thoughts about my memories I can't remember anything. Why am I here? What is my name? Where do I live? Where was I born? Who are my parents? How old am I? Why is it that even a piece of detail about me I don't remember?

I look at the man with me now. "Why don't I remember anything?" I ask him.

What happen to me?

"You don't remember anything?"

"Nothing... A single piece about me."

I hold my head when suddenly hurt too much.

"Don't insist on remembering, that will be hurt you."

"N-No... I want to remember everything about me."

The man hold both my arms and then I calm down.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not telling you the truth."

"W-What do you mean?"

I'm confuse. Why he's saying sorry to me?

The man hug me. "I am your h-husband. S-Sorry, if I didn't tell you right away."

The man pulled away from the hug.

"Y-Your my husband?" I confusedly ask.

"Y-Yes. I am your husband."

"Why didn't you tell me right away?"

"I'll just explain to you everything when you're okay."

He kiss me on my forehead. With that kiss, I felt relieve. With that kiss, I lost the weight I was feeling. With that kiss, it was as if all the pain in my body was gone.

"I Love you. . . " He genuinely said.

I did not answer. There seems to be something wrong. Seems like is not right.

After three weeks, my Husband discharged me from the hospital. He is a doctor, a plastic surgeon doctor, to be exact.

I look my reflection in the mirror. I have a flawless skin, my wounds in the accident have healed already, thanks to the care of my husband. I have a white skin. Long straight color black hair. I also have a slim body, a natural color pink lips. And, my eyes, has a color amber. I love the color of my eyes.

I smile as my husband hug me from behind.

"Why are you staring at yourself in the mirror?" He ask while smiling.

My Husband came in front of me and smile at me. "Hon, you're so beautiful." He said then kiss my forehead.

In recent weeks, my Husband has done nothing else but to take care of me. Even though he's busy, he always visited me in my hospital room for to accompany me and he will just leave me when I'm sleeping. Even though, I don't remember anything, I can feel his love.

"Did I change my face?" I ask and look in the mirror again.

I don't know why I ask like that. It's like that . . . I just want to know.

"W-Why did you ask?"

"I'm just afraid, I might not look like this. I'm afraid, you might love me because of my face. I'm afraid that one day you will leave me when I don't look like this anymore."

My husband suddenly genuinely hug me. "I love you, because I love you, Hon."

"Why do I feel scared? I can feel that you really love me, but what if you leave me because, I can't remember anything. What if, I can't do the reasons why you loved me then-"

My husband suddenly kiss me then hug me. "What I was said, I love you because, I love you. Let go of the fear you feel, because I will never leave you. Never again." Then he hug me tightly.

I hug him back. Even though, I don't remember my past, I am happy with my present. I am happy with my Husband now.

"Let's eat?" My husband said and then kiss me on the forehead.

It looks like he love kissing my forehead and I found it sweet. When my husband came to my hospital room, he immediately kissed me on the forehead. After he finished telling me what happened to him the whole day, he will kissed me on the forehead. And, before he left he will kiss me again on the forehead several more times.

I think one of the reasons why I love my Husband is because for his being sweet to me and how he cares for me.

When we arrive at the dinning, my husband moved the chair for me and when I was able to sit down, he kiss me again on the forehead.

"You're addicted to my forehead?"

"Yes." My husband answer while laughing.

"Did you cook all of this?" I ask when I saw the food on the table.

"Yes. I cook all your favorite breakfast meal."

I look at my husband, then my tears suddenly fall down.

"H-Hey. . . Why are you crying?"

"Nothing. I do not know." I tearfully answer. "I'm happy because you cook for me, that's why, maybe I suddenly cried. I am happy, believe me."

I also could not understand myself why I am so happy, when I found out that my Husband cook all my favorite foods. Even though, I don't remember that I like these food there is no vessel of happiness I feel.

"Don't worry I'll cook for you every day." He said.

"Even if, I don't remember my past as long as you are with me in the new memory, It will fine with me and I know I will be happy with you."

"I love you."

I did not answer. I want to answer with I love you too what my husband said, but there is a part of my body that is holding back. I don't know what that is or why? All I know is that I am happy now with my Husband.

* * * * * * * * * * *

I fix my husband's dirty clothes so that I can wash them tomorrow. I could not understand why, while looking at my husband's clothes, I can't help to smile. The scent of his clothes. The perfume sticks to his clothes, the others smell, smells my perfume. Sometimes my husband uses my perfume.

When I got down, I put aside the dirty clothes and ran to the kitchen. The hotdog I was cooking smelled like it burn again. I put the hotdog on the plate then look at the food I cook. Simple hotdog and eggs I still burn them.

Ever since I came home in our house from the hospital, I haven't been able to cook anything for him. I thought of cooking him something but everything went wrong until, I thought it was just a hotdog and an egg but I still burn it.

"Ma'am what happened?" Nanny Mildred asked.

Nanny Mildred was our new housemaid. He was a little old, but still strong.

"I burn the simple hotdog and eggs that I cook for my husband's dinner." I said sadly.

"Do you want me to cook for Sir?"

"Really? That will be nice. I think my husband is not yet eating dinner, because I said to him that I will cook dinner for us."

"Don't worry, Ma'am. I will cook immediately."

"Thank you so much, Nanny Mildred."

I left the kitchen and went to the living room. I picked up my cell phone when it rang. My husband is calling me.

"Hello, Hon?" I said after I answered my husband's call.

"Hon, fetch me here-I am talking to my wife!"

"Hon? Where are you? Why is it noisy there?"

"I'm at the bar, Hon. Pick me up here. I will text the address."

"Hello Hon-" He ended the call.

I took my car key from the drawer here in the living room and hurried out. Before finally leaving, I said goodbye to Nanny Mildred to pick up my husband.

When I arrive at the bar I only then realized, I just was wearing pyjama and plain white shirt. I just went to the VIP room that my husband texted to me. When I enter in the VIP room, I ran into my husband when she push a woman.

"Hon!" I call him.

"Hon!" My husband happily called me then gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"Why did you push her?" I pointed to the woman who was wearing a fitted red dress and her chest was obvious.

"I told her several times not to touch me because I already have a wife. I shouldn't pay any attention to her but she suddenly brought his face close to mine, at my annoyance I just pushed her."

I looked at the woman who was now staring at me. "Serves you right." I said.

Before my husband and I left the VIP room, we said goodbye to those with him.

When we arrive at my car, I laid my husband in the backseat then I went inside and started the car engine.

"Hon, I'm sorry if, I'm a little drunk." He said.

I adjusted the rear view mirror and applied it to my husband and then glanced at him. He's sleeping while talking?

"I really shouldn't reconcile, but it's a bar. You might think, I'm have a another woman, so I sent for you so you can see that my companions are all men and no women."

"But, I saw a woman?"

"Tch. That woman is annoying."

"Even though his chest is bigger than mine?"

"I was even more annoyed to her."

I could not help but to smile. My man is I'm the he only sees even I'm not with him. Who is a woman who will not smile about that?

When I stopped the car, I supported my husband into the house with all my might.

"Have you eaten?" I ask as I supported him.

"Not yet. You said you would cook for me."

"Yes. . . But . . . Uhmm . . . "

"Let's go to the dinning area."

Arriving at the dinning area I help my husband to sit down.

"The food is not yet done." Nanny Mildred said.

"It' okay. I will eat my wife's cook."

My husband remove the lid of that I cook. "This all look delicious."

"But, Hon?"

"Why, Hon? I'm starving and this is all look delicious." Then he smile and eat all the food I cook for him.

While my husband eating my cook for him that all I burned. I can't help but burst into tears of joy. I don't understand why my tearing in joy?

After my husband eat all my cook for him, I helped him walk to our room again and dressed him as well.

When I dressed my husband, I look at him. I have nothing else to ask as long as I'm with my husband.

I kiss my husband on the forehead.

"I love you, Blue." I whisper.

Even I can't remember my past. It's fine, because I'm happy with you now, Blue Cariaga.