I Fell For My Brother

- Seyah -

"Seyah..... did you finish your homework? hm?" It was my brother Seth. Seth is a handsome guy, he had brown hair mixed with black same as my mother, his eyes were black. He possessed a good body with a good height, I'm sure he was almost six feet and two inches. Every girl in our school liked him. He was a gentle person and he was always quiet and calm and a genius. Urgh.....I really loved his attitude. I don't know but I had some weird feelings for him. Urgh...

"Se..ya..h" I was pulled back to my senses by his voice. I looked at him and saw he was looking at me while raising his eyebrows.

"No.. I want you to teach me brother." I said as I pulled him and made him sit next to me.

"You're not that stupid Seyah... why suddenly?" Yeah I was good at maths but I wanted to be with him now.

"I don't understand these things." I said while looking at him. He was really handsome and he was smiling at me now. I don't know if it's been a year since I started to feel this way. I knew that I'm in love with him. I just couldn't get over that feeling. I looked at face and his thin lips. They were so sexy and I wanted to kiss him so badly but I forced myself to stay calm.

"Alright, let me teach you." With that he took my pen and started to teach me. I didn't hear anything I was just looking at him like a dumb woman. Suddenly I realized I was doing something wrong so I focused on what he was teaching me. After he was done teaching, he stood up to leave. I quickly grabbed his hand,

"Where are you going?" I asked him as he looked at me with a smile.

"Going to cook for you. What do you want to eat?" Yeah, I forgot that aunty Martha went to her home for a vacation today.

"Noodles with roast chicken." I said as I remembered Seth's cooking skills. It was so delicious. I can't wait to eat his food.

"Okay... I'll make it. Wash and come down." He left the room with that. As soon as he went I entered the bathroom and looked at myself through the mirror. How did I fall in love with my own brother? I questioned myself. I hate to see him with other girls, I was just jealous. I don't know how to forget this feeling. Shit. Then I thought about myself and I was really different from him. I had black hair, hazel eyes. I don't know why...... actually I didn't want to have the same features like him and I knew it was because of my feelings for him.

After I showered I changed into clothes and went down for dinner. I saw Seth had arranged everything. I quickly strode towards him and hugged him so tightly.

"Seyah....what's wrong? Did something happen?" He looked at me with worried eyes, I knew he always cared about me but what's wrong with me... why did I fall in love with him? He was my brother. Suddenly Seth hugged me back, I could feel his scent and I loved it so much.

"Seth...do you have someone you like?" I suddenly asked because I was just curious. He never had a girlfriend and he was never so close with girls so I was really curious and scared.

"Why do you suddenly ask? You never asked before." Seth sat me down on the chair as he pulled another chair closer to me and he sat down on it. He had a beautiful smile on his face and I loved it so much but I was selfish and I didn't want him to smile at girls except me.

"I want to know...can you tell me?" I really had a weird voice as I talked to him. I knew it was because I was scared. Urghh

"No I don't have...." I sighed as soon as I heard 'No'. Yaaayyyyy. Great, that's what I wanted to hear and know.

"What's the problem?" Seth asked me again as he raised his one eyebrow, he's so cute when he did it.

"Nothing." I looked away from him,

"Tell me the truth Seyah." Seth hugged me again and I could feel his heartbeat, it was just so fast. Urghh....

"Nothing, I...I just like you so much." What the hell? What did I tell him? Oh no. Shit...

"Yeah, my sister should like me" Seth kissed my head and stood then he placed my food in front of me.

"Eat now, tomorrow we have to go to school. Mom called and said that she can't come home tonight because father had an important business trip so she's also going with him." I hate to hear this. Why can't they even be with us for an hour? They only care about their business. It's okay because I have Seth, he was always there for me. That's why I love him so much...

"Okay" I smiled with Seth and started to eat. Damn so delicious.

"Delicious.." I said as I looked at him, my mouth was filled with noodles. Suddenly Seth bent over to me and wiped the corner of my mouth and my heart beat increased. I slowly looked at his lips and I bit my lower lip because I really wanted to kiss him. Urghh..

"Silly... eat slowly." Seth sat down as he smiled and his teeth were beautiful. When he smiled it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. I don't understand why I'm like this but I bet I've already fallen in love with him more than I could ever imagine. I want to let him know my feelings before he falls in love with another girl because I was scared to face it if he loved another girl.

"Seth... I have something...to tell you." I finally spoke. I was scared and it was really weird.

"Yeah, what is it?" Seth looked at me with a questioning look. How am I supposed to tell him that I love him? I don't know but I should do it before it is too late.

"I...I.." I can't tell him while looking at his face. What if he rejects me and tells me that he doesn't want to talk to me anymore...no.. I can't, I won't be able to handle it.

"Tell me Seyah... is it about a boy? You are in love with someone?" He asked me. I could feel some fear in his voice but I don't know. It was actually about a boy and it's you.. I wanted to tell him but I was too weak for that.

"Nothing. Just forget it." I forced my feelings to not come out. I lowered my head and stared at my food. Suddenly my eyes filled with tears because how am I supposed to let him know my feelings? but I didn't let tears come out.

"No..tell me. You should tell me your problems Seyah." Seth stood from his chair and came to me. I can't let him see my tears and thank god I didn't let my tears come out.

"I love you.." I suddenly said as I looked up at him. His actions stopped and he didn't show any emotion; he just stood there while looking at me. I actually couldn't understand what was in his mind.

"Yeah sisters should love their brothers." My whole world broke as he said that. Couldn't he just understand what I was saying? It wasn't about sister or brother love, it was just love as lovers. I looked at his emotionless face and I knew he understood what I meant by those words but he didn't show me that. My tears suddenly came out.

"Okay" with that I stood up to leave but Seth suddenly caught my wrist. I looked at him as he let go of my hand.

"Good night Seyah." Is that all he wanted to say? I just couldn't stop my tears so I lowered my head and left. He knew what I meant yet he's acting like he didn't understand. Why? I don't understand.

I ran into my room and locked the door, I actually couldn't hold it back, that's why I just told it to him. Why am I just crying? And why did I just fall for my brother? There are so many boys that want to date me but my heart only wants my own brother. I just hate everything. I climbed onto bed and closed my eyes tightly but still I couldn't forget the emotionless face that he had after I confessed to him. I know I was wrong but my feelings.... I don't know and I don't want to think about it.

I got up from my bed and quickly went into my bathroom and washed my face then again went to bed and closed my eyes to sleep.........

................

- Seth -

I knew this thing would happen......I knew it. I was so scared to face it but finally it happened. I saw her tears and I couldn't control myself but I finally managed to act like nothing happened. She told me that she loves me but how? We're siblings from the same mother and father. I should accept that I also have some weird feelings towards her but I forced myself to forget about those feelings. Why is this happening to us? I just don't understand. I pulled my hair like an insane fucker and I had to tell her that I have someone I like but I couldn't because of the way she looked at me. Urghhh fuck.. she was so fucking beautiful black hair, hazel eyes, smooth and fair skin. FUCK I cursed because of my thoughts she's my sister and nothing will change about it. She will definitely have a boyfriend in the future but I feel uncomfortable when I think about her future and boyfriends.

As her big brother I shouldn't be like this but at the same time I don't know how to forget these weird feelings I'm having towards her. Fuck.. how we became like this? I really loved her in all ways, she was just everything to me. I was the one who took care of her when she was a kid. I really liked her and loved her, she was just so cute and it made me like her even more. In my family everyone loved her more than they loved me. She was my father's life. She was the angel to this family. It shouldn't be like that but what am I thinking now? Seyah just confessed to me but I am her brother. Fuck... my mind is a fucking mess shit.. suddenly I received a call I took my phone and looked it was Eliza, Eliza was a daughter one of my father's friends and I knew she has feelings for me but I never acknowledged her because my mind was filled with Seyah. Then I answered the call

"Hello" I spoke first.

"Hey Seth, how are you?" She was using a sweet voice to talk to me but I actually hated her sweet voice.

"Good, why did you call?" I asked as she stayed silent for a moment before she spoke.

"Mmmm Seth actually I like you so can we have dinner tomorrow? I mean only you and me. Don't bring Seyah with you, I think you can understand." What the hell was that? I actually didn't have any feelings for Eliza, I should just say no. With that thought I wanted to say no but suddenly something came to my mind. I should just try because Seyah and I are impossible if I said that I'm going on a date. Seyah will definitely forget her feelings and I will try to do the same.

"Okay." I said okay but my heart hurts with that thought. I didn't want to hurt Seyah. She'll definitely get hurt if she finds out that I agreed with Eliza on a date.

"Really? Seth Thank you so much for giving me a chance. Let's meet tomorrow. I'll see you in the school. Byee" Eliza was so happy because I agreed with her but I feel sorry for her because I'm just using her to forget my feelings. I didn't say anything, just hung up the call. I don't wanna hurt Seyah. She's my sister but I have to force her to forget those feelings and I should also do the same. Finally I forced myself to sleep....

In the morning I woke up and washed myself, then I quickly made breakfast for Seyah and went to her room because I wanted to wake her up. I knocked her door,

"Seyah, wake up, you should go to school. Come on." As soon as I finished, the door opened. I froze as I saw her. I think she's been crying all night and her eyes are red. I really felt my heart aches for her.

" I'll come down." Seyah talked to me with her broken voice and closed the door. I actually don't know what to do and I was just really a pitiful man. I went downstairs and waited for Seyah. Finally she came down wearing a short frock with straps and it was designed with sunflowers. Really pretty. I found myself staring at her as if she was my girlfriend but I quickly forced myself to look away. Then Seyah came and sat down as she looked at me.

"Can we go to watch beauty and beast tonight? New movie was released a few days ago." She suddenly spoke and I sighed because I thought she wouldn't talk to me but she was talking to me and that's great.

"Time?" I asked her with a smile as Seyah also smiled at me.

"6 p.m to 9 p.m" As soon as she told me I remembered that I agreed with Eliza to have dinner with her and she also said only me and her. Urghh

"Can we go tomorrow? I have something to do tonight." I said as I looked at her. Suddenly her smile faded and she looked at me. I knew it was because this is the first time I didn't agree with her.

"Why? What do you have to do?" Seyah looked at me with her beautiful eyes but they were filled with worry and hurt.

"I have to go out for dinner tonight." I spoke as I looked away from her eyes.

"Seth? With whom ?" Her voice filled with fear and I looked at her. Her eyes were filled with something that I couldn't read. I don't know what she was thinking but I knew she was hurt because I refused her.

"Eliza.... we are going to have dinner together." Seyah dropped the sandwich as soon as I told her. Then she looked at me and I could tell that she was about to cry but she forced her tears to not to come out.

"Why? Why suddenly?" I heard her broken voice.

"Not suddenly Seyah... I just agreed with her because I should just have a girlfriend. I'm already eighteen" I let out a fake smile as I spoke. My heart hurts because I knew it would hurt her so much but I didn't have a choice.

"Seth, you said you don't like anyone. Is it because I said I love you yesterday?" Seyah's tears came out. My eyes also turned red because of her tears. Why am I just hurting her? She's my only sister.

"No...just don't think about it Seyah. Finish your breakfast." I forced myself to stay calm.

"Alright, I don't love you Seth. Please don't go with her. I don't like her." My body froze as she said she doesn't love me. Some strange feelings that mixed with hurt ran through my body because of her words. She was doing everything to stop me but if I didn't go it would really be a problem because Seyah will develop her feelings even more. I knew that Eliza and Seyah were not good with each other. Urghh. What should I do. Fuck. I again looked at Seyah and she was crying....

"I promised her Seyah. I'll go with you tomorrow." I just betrayed my heart. Seyah just didn't say anything, just lowered her head as she stood up to leave.

"Finish your breakfast Seyah." I said as she sat down again and started to eat. She was really obedient when it came to me. I loved her for that. She quickly ate everything and waited for me. I quickly finished my breakfast and washed the dishes.

"Let's go." With that I took her hand and left the house. Seyah didn't look at me the entire time. She just walked and my heart was really aching because of the thing I just did. As soon as we entered the school Eliza came to me with a big smile but her smile wasn't as beautiful as Seyah's.

"Good morning Seth, Can you come at 6 p.m because I want to watch a movie too." Eliza giggled as she spoke to me. I saw she looked at Seyah as she smirked at her. Seyah just looked at me with a hurt look. I didn't want to see that look on her face because it hurts me so I looked away.

"Okay." I said as Eliza smiled with me. Then I saw the look on Seyah's face and she was just so broken and her beautiful eyes filled with tears but they never came out.

As always Seyah was controlling it while biting her lips. Suddenly she lowered her head as she walked away. I looked at her as she disappeared from my sight. My heart was telling me to go and tell her that I won't go with Eliza but I refused to do it.

"Seth. Mmmm..can we stay at my place tonight? My parents are not at home today." I looked at Eliza and saw she was blushing. I knew what she was talking about. She was just inviting me to have sex with her. I really felt disgusted.

"No" with that I left. Eliza tried to say something but I ignored her.

At lunch time, I saw Eliza talking with a few boys so I quickly went to the canteen before she saw me. If she saw me she would definitely try to be with me. I really don't like it and all I wanted was to see Seyah. I didn't see Seyah having her lunch so I went to her friend and asked if she knew where Seyah was and said that Seyah was in the music room so I quickly went to see her.

I saw my sister was just staring out of the window while playing a violin. I really felt sad to see her like this because I knew it was all because of me.

"Seyah.." I spoke as she turned to me. She smiled with me and then continued playing her violin.

"Seth, could you play the piano for me?" Seyah suddenly spoke as she looked at me with a smile.

"Yes." With that I sat in front of the piano as I started to play her favorite music. She smiled and listened to it very carefully. After I stopped she stood up and came to me. I also stood and smiled at her but suddenly Seyah grabbed me from my collar and kissed me...........

My whole body went numb as her soft lips pressed against mine. My heart was beating so damn fast. My sister was just kissing me and I also like it, I couldn't understand what happened and why. I was just standing and I didn't even move. Seyah was a lot shorter than me. Her height was about five feet and six inches, so she grabbed me down by my collar and kissed me. Every type of emotions surged to my mind but I was really scared, scared as fuck, my mind was pushing me to kiss her back but I couldn't even move because I was stunned by her actions. I just became fucking dumb...Urgh. I slowly looked at Seyah. She was just pressing her cherry lips against mine, she didn't even know how to kiss because this is her first kiss and also my first kiss too. I was looking at Seyah, her eyes were closed while she was licking my lips.. I didn't want to do this.. and what is this?... She's my sister... Suddenly Seyah bit my lower lip, that little action made me lose every bit of rationality.

So I placed my hand on waist and pulled her closer to me then I placed my other hand behind her head as I deepened the kiss, Seyah quickly wrapped her arms around my neck. I've already lost my sanity so the only thing I focus on is the kiss. Seyah pushed me and made me sit down on the stool I sat before then she climbed to my lap and sat down. I pushed my tongue into Seyah's mouth and kissed her so passionately, Seyah's fingers were travelling through my hair and it felt so good but suddenly I remembered what I'm doing.... what the fuck? She's my SISTER... With that I pulled away from the kiss while our saliva was connecting with each other. I looked at Seyah. She was staring at me with her big bright eyes then I looked at her lips. They just became more red because of my actions.

"Wh...what are you doing?" I asked Seyah as I put her down from my lap, her eyes filled with something weird...

"I love you Seth. Please just don't go with Eliza." My body froze again because of her words, I stayed silent for a few minutes before speaking.

"No..Seyah we can't be like this, I'm your brother and I'm going with her today." With that I left the music room.

After school was over I waited for Seyah and after a few minutes she came out. She didn't even look at me the whole time she was looking down. Urgh.. As soon as we entered the house Seyah ran to her room. I know I'm doing something that could hurt her but I can't hurt her more so I should just let her forget those feelings.....FUCK why our life became like this?

.....................

- Seyah -

I ran into my room and locked the door. I don't want him to go tonight. How? He even agreed with her to watch a movie but why? Did he want to hurt me because I said that I love him? So many questions are killing me. I hate Eliza and she also hates me and Seth knows it very well but he still agreed with her instead of me. It really hurts to believe that he agreed to go out with a girl. I don't know what happened to me. I just kissed him, my emotions took over me so I kissed him. I know that he's my brother but I do have romantic feelings for him. I have no idea why that happened..... but he also kissed me back as he pulled me closer to him and again pushed me away.

Actually it felt so good to kiss him and I always wanted to do that. I always wanted to be his first kiss, finally I did it but I'm still crying because he agreed with Eliza. I never liked to argue with Seth. I always listened to him so I didn't want him to feel that I'm disobeying him. I just don't understand why this thing happened to me, he was my own brother. I forced myself to forget about it and I went to bathroom, I showered and changed into comfortable clothes then I looked at the time and it was 5.00 p.m. Seth is going to meet Eliza....my heart hurts because I don't want him to be with other girls but I actually can't stop him. I waited because I knew that he would definitely go even if I begged him not to go. At 5.30 p.m I heard someone knocking at my door, I knew it's Seth.

"Seyah...I'm going now. I made dinner for you. Eat and sleep early, I'll be late so don't wait for me." My heart shattered into pieces as he said those words. He'll be late? Is he going to sleep with that bitch? Really Seth? Why is he hurting me? My tears came out, I really didn't want to talk to him because he knew my feelings yet he's going to be with another woman so that means he doesn't even like me right? I didn't reply to him because I was just crying. It hurts to think that he's going to be with that Eliza tonight. I don't want him to go but how am I supposed to stop him? He will definitely go so I decided to stay silent.

"Seyah?" Seth spoke again.

"Alright then I'm going." With that he left. I heard his footsteps as they faded. So he left.. I don't know how to reduce the pain in my heart. I really don't know. Suddenly I started to cry loudly. I just want him and I love him. Why can't he just understand it? I know.. I know that we are brother and sister but I can't forget and I love him. I don't know what's on his mind but in my mind I just love him so much. It's been 10 minutes since Seth left so I quickly came out of my room and ran out. I don't want him to go, I should just stop him. I couldn't actually find him. I remembered Eliza said that she wanted to watch a movie so I quickly ran to the theatre and it was already 5.55 p.m.

My whole body froze.... it was Eliza and Seth.

Eliza's arm was wrapped around Seth's arm and Eliza was smiling so happily just like she won the world but the most painful thing was seeing Seth's smile. He was smiling at Eliza too. I watched them as I stood there like an idiot. Suddenly Eliza kissed Seth's cheek. My tears rolled down as I watched their movements. I don't know why my heart hurts so much. It really hurts, I never thought my feelings for him would hurt me this much. I really wanted to die. They left and entered the hall, I looked at the advertisement board and they're going to watch beauty and beast.. really? I just laughed at myself. There were no words to explain my pain. I didn't want to see them together so I went home. I went to the dining room and I saw Seth had made food for me and there was a note too.