I Don't Love

Selene POV

It has come to my attention that each one passed down has received a more brutal death, not only to itself but to many more of my children.

Why must one person's choices for the despairing of their hearts be the leading cause of so many innocent, tragic lives?

Being bound into my temple without a single way to leave has proven that I have no power over someone who is killing my children.

The stories of the red wolf have disappeared, and the horrors of the cursed wolf have become the substitute.

What have they done to you, my child, Blaze?

If there was any adult moment when you could just realize that many more have been dying for selfish reasons, then maybe you could recognize that it is not worth investing your heart and killing more of your children.

What have my children ever done to support what Mykel did to you?

Nothing; they have all been trying to run away from you because you seem to only exist for the misery that ended all those centuries ago.

I cannot move any soul without my own being placed in danger.

What would my children end up having? What would my children live for?

These are questions I have asked for months on end, and I still have no answers to any of them, but I do know that there must be a way I can protect my children who are dying.

They are fearful, and so many have lost.

I have hope in myself.

I need to fix this, but who could help me?

I will take it if I have just one chance to prove to my children that they are not forgotten.

As I think of ways to do this, I hear the doors to earth open again, and the desire to go and meet my beloved grows. But what if I do not go to him tonight?

Instead, I meet my children; this could be my chance to save what's left of them.

I was not waiting another minute.

I place myself in my warmest garment. I know that traveling within the light of the moon is not generous.

Completely bundled, I ran from my room into the main center of my time.

There, my body moved with the light that reflected off the moon.

Nine bodies mean changes, and two are the most golden wolves any of my children have ever seen.

My blonde curls become my skin, my phone grows in my body, and I shift into the body of a wolf.

Running, I try to rest when I reach Claudia.

The soul twins remain still and hold onto the curse, each in their own body.

I am more than proud of my children for not giving up.

I have too many to take many of my children, but sadly, to the werewolves, I have to crumble.

Only these two are left, and I need my children to grow.

I need them to know that they're not alone.

If it means my life, so be it, even though more of my children will need me.

The gods will have to go, and she was a newborn child of their choosing.

Or could I bless my children?

Instead, I have left more times than I would ever want to see and hear things many others don't know, but I still have these twins.

It may be time to take the curse away.

It is bedding things for this witch, but I can revive myself within them.

They will take my place, draining me of everything that I have.

All of my strengths will become this, but I must find them.

Where are you, my children?

As I kept running, trying to find my way, I met with a howl, a sh-wolf.

I move to the side and pick my pace, only to be matched with the most outstanding results.

A Lycan is taking Claudia.

More than anyone, so I know how this could come out to be.

It feels wrong to see my children do this.

I should look another way until they have come to finish it.

I only have a little time.

The sun starts to rise soon.

I cannot leave things as they are.

I know that my children and I feed it to each other, but why have they been keeping it a secret?

Shaking my head, I ignore those sites.

I know exactly what I have to do.

My body starts to regain at least a little bit more, and as I approach them, I don't look at what they are doing.

Simply put, I placed my hand on her heart, and with it, I left a piece of my power as I embedded my nails deep in her chest.

I can hear my daughter moaning, so as I finish, I shift myself in the direction where I hope to find her brother.

After searching, I discovered he had been resting well this entire time. I love to follow the light of what's left of the moon.

I placed my hand the same way and gave my son the power that I hope, once his body has accepted it as his sister did, I will be able to grant them the ability to do all they need to do.

As I feel my power leaving me, I close my eyes and think I have been pulled back into my temple.

When I open my eyes, I see myself back in my home, but I also don't feel as powerful as I am now.

It's all up to them. Cloud. Claudia.

Claudia POV

Creed kept thrusting into me.

His long, thick cock was thrusting inside me, moving deeper into my cervix.

We have been mates for more than a year; every day I get to be with him is a blessing.

Selene must have blessed me with breaking this curse, or at least with enjoying what a mate bond is with my fated mate, and I will forever be in her debt.

He's the only one who loves me and is not trying to kill me.

He embraces me just as I am, and I have no desire to leave him.

"Let me mark you," he asks again.

Every day that we were intimate, he asked me the same question.

Still, I know I cannot do that because if I do, my brother will understand. Our chances of being found by that damn witch might get worse, and I just can't bear the thought of losing my mate, so instead of answering, I start meeting his thrusts by moving my hips, making him moan, and losing himself in the chase until we can see both climaxes together.

Creed takes my bare ass and lifts me to put me in a different position.

Knowing my mate is after his release, he doesn't light up and keeps going the same way, placing my back against a tree.

He goes inside me harder, reaching up to the hilt and lifting one leg above his shoulder while the other one is still on his hip-he's got a muscular, olive-pale body.

His skin starts to show a pink shade from the countless smacks my lover's abdomen has received.

His moans grow louder until they are mixed with the grunting sounds. I know he is close; I can feel my insides starting to squeeze his member, and that is how I know I am close, too. Feeling him twitching inside, I let my cunt start to suck hard on his cock.

"I'm cumming!" he shouts, and not long after, he ejaculates inside me.

As much pleasure as I feel from being filled with his hot seed, I wouldn't say I like the fact of bearing a child again.

We already have two children together.

I can't see either of them as much as I want to be there with them, see them grow up, attend their school events, and be a mother. I can't let that damn witch find them that way. That reminder comes from knowing I just had unprotected sex with Creed. My mate loves me, and all my pups will be from him.

But I can't risk it. It might be with my partner that I will live happily, but I know I can't risk them dying because of my selfish desires.

My brother doesn't know about them, nor do any of my pups, and I can't bear the thought of having another one because then I will not be able to be with any of them.

I'll be on the run all the time, bidding away from my mate and my pups because of that damn witch. I gave in to my heart and had my beautiful pups with Creed, but I can't end up in the same circumstances again.

Every time I spent time with my mate and our pups, I cried because I knew I had to leave them again. I couldn't do this to them again.

I had to live without them again. Creed agreed to raise them by himself without me; it broke me to pieces to know my blood was in them and that the witch could find my pups and kill them. That's the only reason I agreed to leave them with their father. to

These memories, these feelings, started to leave me when I felt my mate wasn't slowing down; he picked up more speed until I thought I was about to climax again, chaining my high. I held the tree with all my strength when I shouted, "Cummming! Cuming! Aaa!"

Creed wasn't being merciful with me; he exploded inside me, filling me till I had to go to the bathroom but instead wetting his entire abdomen and thighs.

Damn, my mate wanted me to have more pups. Moving to stand, he hugged me tightly and started to pepper-kiss me all over. While he was nuzzling me tenderly, I could feel how his kissing me made him feel. He began to vibrate with his purrs. Knowing he wanted to stay like this and that I was enjoying him caressing my body, I kissed the side of his jaw.

I had missed him so much.

I can only hope and pray that my life changes and I get to be with my family for once instead of running away to protect them.

Laying on his bare chest, Creed moves his hand behind my head, and when he takes a hand filled with my hair, his lips meet my lips, and he starts to kiss me passionately.

During our kiss, we let ourselves lose each other.

We both know he has to leave, so our time is short, but it fills me with love to know we get to live these moments in love and passion.

Letting my lips go, he keeps peeking at them as he speaks with pain in his tone to me, "I can't keep doing this."

He let go of my lips, but he was still holding me. It felt like he had let go, and I would disappear, and I feared the same thing. Nuzzling his chin with my nose, he adds.

"I can't keep accepting that you have to stay here, and then I have to be away with our pups when they want to know who their mother is."

Biting my lower lip, I look away. I can't answer him because I want the same thing: I want to meet my pups; I want to hold them in my arms, love them, know what they like and don't like, hear their voices, play games, and have the relationship I never had with my mother with them.

My mother, just saying the word in my mind, made me feel dejected. Is that how my pups feel when they think of the phrase, too?

Creed saw I was in another place, and he placed his hand on my cheek, caressing it.

"They need you, and I need you, Claudia. I respect you to the moon and back, but this drives me insane. Your family needs you to know that you will never be replaced. I have had to learn various methods on how I can control myself. Every time, I get the idea that this thing that haunts you and kills our family will not appear out of the blue by marking you. Reading books, blogs, fuck-calling witches, fairies, and any human that is good at their damn jobs in research, to which all have said, What you live with sound's like a made-up story."

He growled at me when he said that, but I knew he wasn't trying to fight me; he was trying to get me home, and it hurt me to know I still couldn't go home.

Creed was overwhelmed by the way his tone started to change. He was tired of this life, the life I had to keep if I wanted to stay alive.

I knew this wasn't the life I wanted. It wasn't the life I wanted with him. I was more tired of this life than he could ever know.

For years after meeting Creed, I wanted to change my way of life.

I wanted to be living with my mate, I desired to be with our family, and after I had our last pup, I wanted to stay.

For years, I wanted to learn what Luna's job was.

I saw some small things when I stayed in Creed's pack, which should have also been mine.

I'm not a title seeker. I know where I stand.

If other Lunas knew about me, I'm sure I would be the laughingstock of the century.

In one of the books I read that spoke about a lot of Luna's job, one of the many things written was that a pack needed their Luna like a pup needs its mother a pack needs its Luna.

The day I read that I was expecting my first pup with Creed, we have two sons, Colton and Caden.

During my pregnancy, I read so many things.

I read that if a Luna gives birth to a son, it gives hope to the pack of a stronger Alpha.

When he was introduced to the pack, I wasn't named.

Nobody in the bag other than his Beta knows about me. This made so many angry at Creed.

Not many pack members accept either of my sons as their Alpha because they believe Creed had random pups instead of his fated Luna.

I knew I did right. I have done many things right.

I gave myself to my fated mate. I had his two sons, and I know that by staying away, I am doing a good thing, but right now, it isn't easy.

It isn't easy to accept that it is suitable for all of them to have a life, for my pups to live without being hunted down.

Their names never come to mind when I am alone or with Cloud, but every time I am with Creed, the things I still remember come back.

There are things with my mate that make me feel perfect.

This is real.

Creed is my reality, and the things I have to hide from my pack are the secrets that I have to keep to protect them.

They don't deserve to die because of some old hag who wants my entire family dead.

My pack can get angry all they want, but I know the things I try to hide, that I keep as secrets, is my responsibility to keep my reality alive.

Like the reality that I'm a mother to our pups.

Our pups are real.

This is what I need to hold in my heart.

My most significant success in this life is to know my pups stay healthy because they are real, they are alive, and they are stronger without me by their side, even if it kills me in the process.

Stepping away from Creed to put something on, he lets out a breath to keep talking.

"No curse is capable of doing that, Claudia. I refuse to have you stay here without our family and me, like the family we were meant to be, Claudia. Please reconsider this choice."

He asked me with a small shout in the end. I turned to see his Alpha pose in full display.

My mate was fed up.

"We've been together for so long. I will never stop loving and wanting to be with you, but if you have to give me something that's not another pup, I'm all for it, but Claudia, please."

He walked closer, extending his hands to help me place a shirt on me.

Each time I felt his skin on mine, all the sparks in my body ran through me, calming me from the fear of giving in to what he wanted.

"I mean, it's not that I don't want another one. I love Colton and Caden Claudia. They are just like you in how they fight. Their mannerisms remind me of you."

He ruffles my hair to keep my mood in good spirits, and I smile as I feel a blush creeping up on my cheeks.

Placing his forehead against mine, he bites his lower lip. He knows I won't speak because I don't want to change things.

If I do, I know my sons will never reach adulthood, and they don't deserve to die when both Cloud and I are trying so hard to end this curse for them.

"Goddess, it is nice when we try to have our pups after I had sex with you, Claudia. It's like meeting my most addictive drug. I can't stop myself from having you when I see you, and every time I have to leave you, it drives me insane."

I let out a sigh that made me feel heavy; not even the sparks from his touch calmed me now.

Why is it so hard for Creed to realize I'm not trying to break us? I'm trying to break this curse!

Placing my hands above his to pull him away from my face, I say with fear.

"Creed, you know I don't hate you. I am not doing this to keep you away for crying out. I hate this more than you realize, but what do you want me to do?"

I walk away from him when he takes my hand.

I turn to say "What? Do you want me to let this curse kill my pups? Let it kill you because of some dumb human who said this is as fake as a fake orgasm."

I pulled my hand away.

'He means well, Claudia. I wish I had better words, but I'm here. I mean well to you, and I know we will break this curse! He needs to give us more time.'

Susie tells me that she knows, as well as I do, that this is hell to live with.

For years, I knew Susie wasn't like the other wolves, nor was Iniko.

They can both talk to Cloud and me.

No other wolf has ever been able to do that, and I know they are blessed, but they don't tell us everything.

They especially avoid the question of where they came from.

That thought made Susie leave my mind; it wasn't something I was going to ask her again, but at least I could concentrate with my mate on this argument.

" I don't care what the hell others think, but yours, our pups, are the only ones I care about, and so far, you three are alive while I suffer being away to keep you all alive, so I am keeping this way of living until that old hag dies already!"

He growled as he shouted, "I can't leave you anymore. I want our family to be together, just like we are now. I want to be with you and have as many pups together as possible without fearing some old hag is going to kill me, either! For fucks sake, Claudia, I want our pack to know, as well as our pups, that we can be together, but how can I make you see that being together is more important than any damn witch's vendetta?"

I bite my lower lip, knowing how much pain I'm causing him because it's hurting me to the point of wanting to give in, but I can't.

I need to be away from them for our family.

Creed shakes his head at me while I walk to grab his hand, pulling him to me when I kiss him in hunger, holding his hair tightly.

He fights me till he retracts from my kisses. "Claudia, please, talk to your twin; tell him what I told you; make him see what I see; my only cure, my cure to living, my cure to loving, my cure to breathing every day, is only you, my Claudia. Please, Claudia, for me?" He begged me in a broken voice, making me feel like my heart was breaking.

Why was he being unreasonable after so long of working this way with me? Why was he being this way when he knew I couldn't?

But I had to try. I had to try to make him see.

"Creed, if I agree, then our life will never be at peace, and our family will never be happy."

Creed took my cheek and started to kiss me with hunger.

When he let go of my lips, he spoke in a raspy voice, almost as if he were choking up while he talked to me.

"This is not being happy. This is the misery of life, of living, and I want my life with my mate. I want to live with my rightful Luna of our pack, of the Evergreen Pack," Creed reminded me again.

Reminding me of where my pups are made me realize that I was, in fact, being selfish, but when I decided to be selfish, the very first time was when my brother and I left for the islands.

The first time my brother and I decided to take the chance and go to Evergreen Pack was when we arrived at the islands where Creed's Pack is located.

Years ago, the laws on the island changed after the death of a young Alpha. The news was that the boy was killed after being dropped off at his birthday party.

The Lycans loved him as one of their own, and when the Alpha did nothing but bury his body, the Lycans turned against the Alpha, killing him and his mate, who turned out to be fake.

I learned they were relatives of my mother's family. It killed me to know my family had family in such a distant place, but it made the curse known to have grown.

I knew my parents didn't get along with them because they had a wired relationship with those Lycans, and if my parents learned, I am not only fated to a Lycan, but I have his pups.

I could hear their arguments over my choices.

But it wasn't my fault.

After being abandoned to find any place to survive and knowing we couldn't find somewhere else, we were limited. It seemed like a good idea since we already had our wolves, so there weren't many reasons not to go.

It just seemed perfect, and in the end, it was perfect because I was my fated mate the minute we arrived on the island.

Susie had told me about the Moon Pack. She knew about the Moon Pack when I had no idea; she told us about the place, but she feared it wouldn't have been a good idea.

We couldn't risk going to the Moon Pack, where the curse could probably continue, and we couldn't go to the small moon.

Susie had told me it used to exist but doesn't anymore.

Since we left for the island and then arrived on the beaches of the island, we knew that we had landed in the Evergreen Pack because we didn't have a lot of time to find any other place after Creed's warriors attacked us. We tried hiding ourselves, but we knew the King must have sent them.

Lyvan has a king that no one can ignore, including how the king runs the island, but Creed isn't going to accept that.

When Creed and I met that same day, I had arrived with my twin brother.

Hiding my curse from my brother instead of Creed and then dodging questions, not telling Creed why we were there, was the hardest thing I had ever done.

AN: The book is being updated faster as I have a lot on my mind with grieving a death as the main inspiration.

During those days, it was driving me insane to stay quiet.

I felt our bond snap into place the very second I saw Creed that day when we met.

It changed everything for me.

What I had to keep under control was my attitude all the time.

How I felt when my twin brother was around becoming more difficult for me to pretend, and I allowed Susie to interfere more.

Cloud didn't understand at first, and I'm sure Susie could talk to me without me or Cloud knowing.

After Susie spoke to Iniko, he declared some information about specific places to me.

He told me things I didn't understand.

And by not understanding, I meant I couldn't explain how he knew certain things about the island.

He helped me meet up with Creed without showing Cloud I had changed.

I knew he saw something had changed me; he still does, but I keep working not to show any changes.

Cloud is not an easy brother to fool. I'm just glad we had been separated at times.

I could always use that excuse with him to meet Creed, to find clues to get this damn curse off my life.

Even if I'm hiding a life from my brother, I'm still not stopping my way of living for him to flip out on me, not to mention we have family members who recently started to show up.

And they are willing to help us, at least until this curse has ended at most minuscule.

I have to keep denying it, keep telling him that I was just so happy to know that we weren't being put to death by Creed or the King, that I acted like a wired person, and that will keep working because at that time we didn't have to fight Creed, we still don't.

We have kept our secret in real life.

Creed has kept his promise to me, but I fear he will break this promise today.

I don't blame Creed for breaking down.

Lycans aren't an easy bread to break.

They are tolerant of creatures that wield magic but not to vampire bites.

The venom of a Vampire elder can kill any creature.

It's why I was more than happy to have known other creatures are willing to help us.

It was hell getting that information into my life.

I owe it all to Iniko and his knowledge of Rebecca.

She doesn't tell me many things, but she does tell me she owes her life to a friend who is a family member of mine.

I don't know which family member she is referring to, but I'm in debt to them.

This was my best chance at getting closer to killing this damn witch finally, and I knew this made Susie proud of me.

I was fighting all of my desires to stay here with Creed.

To ignore all the signs that my mate would break the promise he had made to me all those years ago.

Thinking back on it, I remember thinking Creed would hurt me when we met.

I felt fear when he didn't accept me in public, but I also feared falling into the same situations as all of our family had gone through when they reached the age of meeting their fated mates.

But that never happened.

I never got rejected, I never got sabotaged by another creature, and I could allow myself to be loved by him from the moment that we laid eyes on each other.

That day, we could be together, at least for the time we could, but I will never forget it.

-6 Years Ago-

Cloud was packing up most of our things.

We didn't have the best resources, but we did take everything from our parents' estate.

We lived outside the pack house, trained since we started to walk.

Our parents had lived out of the pack house for years, ever since we were born.

Hopefully, that would be enough to get us to the Evergreen pack.

Susie had talked to Iniko for hours. I wasn't sure why this wolf was not talking to me, but I had hoped she would trust me enough to speak with the same confidence she talked to Iniko.

I just assumed that, at this time, she would let me in.

'You don't have to be sent back like we have been before with the moon pack. Just trust me and go to Evergreen Pack. You will be safe there.'

Susie motivates me while I take some bags in my bag.

It's still so surreal that Grandpa wants us both dead.

We never did anything to anybody, but last year, Mom told us both about this curse that we have, a curse that Susie doesn't want to say to me the entire story.

It is the cause of everything happening around us, and we need answers to this.

"That's everything for now. Are you completely changed like we're going through the seas into tropical weather, so you know we need to be A-OK in clothes, with a personal high in, to live with the bare minimum of everything because I have no real contact with anyone there. Still, Iniko demands we do as he says, and I know he isn't stearin us to our deaths like grandpa is, got it?"

Cloud asked me clearly, stressed over what was going on, and understood how he felt because grandpa was after us both.

Nodding, I replied to him in my nervous state.

I kept on stuttering, "Yeah, I got it, I got it. I'm just so tired of running back and forth. When will we be able to stay still? I can't be allowed back this time to get anything nearby, or will this be a forever thing Cloud?"

Instead of replying to me, he walked to be my aide; out of nowhere, Cloud gave me a side hug and then started walking with me away from the middle of the dirt road, "That's why we're doing this, so that we can stop this and finally have a normal life because honestly, I can't keep living like this either. I want to find my mate too Claudia. I want to settle down, and I don't want to be afraid of this thing killing me, my family, or worse having our family kill them. We need to find the answers together, not against each other?"

I nodded, which made me start running beside Cloud, we left in the dead of night, hissing from everyone like we were five-year-old kids, playing hide and seek, and I know that this was the stupidest thing we've done because unlike kids playing, everybody was out looking for us in both their wolves form, and their human forms for others holding onto weapons.

This pack is known as the blessed pack of the world, all the wolves here have been blessed wolves, and now I'm not even sure if they are considered as blessed, or as cursed as this curse Cloud, and I have to get us both killed.

It's hard to believe our grandfather sent everyone from his pack to kill us both, so I knew we both would be in trouble.

Dodging all the wolves stationed on the border by sheer luck in hiding inside small fox holes, from the were foxes that live nearby my grandpa's pack, we arrived on the small boat our parents have told us would always be here, thank goodness we saw it earlier this morning.

We didn't buy anything on our way here, even though we couldn't because everyone was after us.

We didn't interact with anybody because we'd been hiding in a tiny hole between trees, then sprang out of those places till we got here.

Nobody would find us because we couldn't stay in our parent's house.

The home was burned down to the ground after being ransacked by the warriors.

Getting in the boat, I see it's made of wood, wood is easy to burn, and even more easy to sink.

I'm more than sure this is a boat that was handmade, it looks old for a little boat.

Putting in all the things we had with us, my brother takes both the pedals to start taking ourselves out of the deck, and into the vast ocean.

The cold of the night had made me stay seated beside Cloud, with our blanket I hid us from any unwanted attention.

Lucky for us nobody was thinking to look for us, we needed to leave this place and get as close as possible to the island that would give us a chance at living.

We had our goal at sight: kill this curse.

Laying my hands on the sides of this boat, I had a towel on my eyes to block the sun.

My pink hair was sweating from the intense sun.

We have been in the ocean for four days now, and finally the damn ocean was beginning to take a calmer state.

Yesterday, we had a horrible storm that almost had us almost losing the boat with us in it.

'I have never pleaded to die in my life as hard as I had to yesterday.'

Susie told me clearly sick as a dog, which is not rhetorical, or a figure of speech, she was sea sick in my mind, and I didn't mind her shutting off from my mind.

Before Susie did leave to the back of my mind she stopped herself then shouted in the connected link with Iniko.

'Land!'

Standing up abruptly, I took the towel off my face to look behind me to see what they had shouted.

I see land!

And I couldn't be happier to know that our freaking life is about to change now.

Finally we were free from being hunted by our grandfather, thank the moon goddess, this has been the most annoying four days of my life.

I love my twin, but if I have to hear him sing one more song, I will hit him with one of the petals.

What we weren't counting on was that once our small boat started to reach close the edge to the sand, waves were being formed.

'Turn the small boat to the edge and follow the current of the wave. It will lead you to a small deep that you won't fall from.'

Iniko told us both, making me look back at Cloud.

'How do you know that Iniko?'

He didn't reply but did shout at Cloud as he looked annoyed at something.

After a small internal war with Iniko, we managed to reach the edges, and allowed the end results of the waves to push our boat to the sand.

As soon as our small boat finally stops, I took my first step to this new island and prayed that we had gotten to the right one.

Cloud joins me just as fast as I take my steps to get near the extended range of different trees, crossing past some palm trees, walking to the shade.

I see a miniature landscape of different trees surrounding us.

The shade of these trees, the warm air, it feels so cool in this warm climate.

Being here was wonderful so far, it didn't take long to hear Cloud's stomach.

We need to eat food.

We had money, but we had to eat food that was not already pre-made.

For four days eating granola bars had made me anti granola bars for life.

I need to hunt, and let Susie come out of her shell from being in sea sickness.

I hope this was as helpful to her as it was to me.

Cloud had the rest of our things on him already, just like me.

Letting my bags down, I went to the nearest tree to get my clothes off, I stretched my body.

'Ready Sue?'

She nodded her head in my mind, and I allowed her to control my body.

Shifting, she runs for a bit, we do not find anything but I can't stop smelling something delicious around this place, before I could actually find it we're tackled by something that electrocuted us while we rolled on the dirt grass.

These sparks didn't hurt me one bit, it actually felt safe feeling them, and this scent I had been tracking down, the incredible delicious smell of meat, and honey all over my body.

What was this?

It felt so good and smelled divine.

We rolled for a couple of seconds, and finally, when we stopped, Susie shouted.

'Mate! Mate!'

Moving my snout, I was met face-to-face with the face of a Lycan.