I AM THAT GIRL

I watched her as she walked into the school gates for the first time, she was new, she was young and she was beautiful. No she wasn't beautiful, she was breath taking. My heart played drumrolls in my chest just at the sight of her and I knew that I was in love, I approached her but quickly ducked off when a guy wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Fuck! Maybe it was a brother or a friend, no he wasn't any of the above. The smile that crept up to her face as she looked at him, it met her ears. I knew that he was the man in her life. Damn it! I punched myself in the guts, internally.

I didn't know her but yet I was so in love with her and I wanted her for myself. She had to be mine, she just had to be mine. And I was going to get her, no matter how long it takes to court her, no matter the case. I was going to do everything in my power to have her in my life, so help me God. I was ready to do it all just to have her in my life.

I was on my way home from my girlfriend's house when a car pulled up next to me, I didn't

think to drive today because my girl's house was just two houses away from my house. It

was 7 o' clock in the evening and it was a bit dark now. Two guys sprung out of the car and

quickly grabbed me, everything happened so fast, next thing you know I was in the car with

these 5 guys, one held a gun to my head promising to pop my brains off if I tried anything.

"Gents please I can give you anything that you want, just let me go."

I didn't know these guys quite well but something told me that I have seen them

somewhere before.

"Today we will end this once and for all, when we are done with you all you will ever want is

a dick." One said touching my thigh, I went cold. They couldn't do this to me, I wasn't about

to become a victim of rape, I didn't want to be part of the stats. I didn't want to be one of

them.

"Cut the bullshit gents!" The driver said. "I have been asking you out since you were a

young girl but you just never gave me the time of the day." The driver added. "I don't know

why you had to force me to resolve to this, why?"

Who the fuck was this guy and what was he talking about?

"Gents please I am not going to tell anyone about this just let me go, I am one of you. Please."

"One of us?!" they laughed. "We shall see tonight."

They drove into a bushy area, away from the houses, away from people. Away from the busy

roads. The car came to a halt and the driver got off.

"Get out, and prepare for us."

"Yes boss." They said in unison then got off the car, I tried to get off too but he pointed a gun

at me and shook his head.

"Don't or I will be forced to shoot you."

I stilled, he got in the car right in the backseat and locked the car doors. Oh no! No no no!

They cannot lock me in here, they cannot! I started begging him tears burning my eyes, I

couldn't lose my virginity like this! To him! Not tonight! But my begging fell on deaf ears, a

knock came through the window and he got off, his men pulled me off as well from the

other side. A blanket was laid out on the grass, oh no will they all take turns with me? Will

they?

"Please please" I went down on my knees begging them.

"That won't help you now, you can leave gents."

They nodded and walked off leaving me with him, he is a huge man he will overpower me.

But I cannot let him, I wont allow him, I have to get out of here! I looked around, where we

were we?

"Okay let's make this easy, you will undress and you will give me what I want. But we both

want and I will let you go." His voice was cold and demanding, who was this guy and what

gave him the right or that idea that I might be into him like that? That I wanted this? Have I

ever made a pass on him? Lord help me!

I shook my head no tears falling out of my eyes, I wiped them off.

"You are one of us right? Today I will prove to you that you are a girl, a woman, my woman!" He inched

closer, I was still on my knees begging him.

"Wait, wait, please don't do this to me please, I am begging you." I was crying now and

begging but my begging fell on deaf ears. He pulled out a knife and closed in on me, his

moves were fast, now I was flat on my back and he was on top of me. He tore my t-shirt then

sports bra while pinning me down with his legs. I tried to wiggle out of his hold but I couldn't

move or fight him off me, he was just too powerful. I kept begging him to stop as he touched

my breasts, cupping them in his hands and laughing an evil laugh.

"You are so fucking sexy, look at you, just look at you, I knew that one day you will be mine." He laughed and licked my breasts.

"Please.." I cried.

"You are one of us? Let's see shall we? Don't try anything or I will have my men come back

and we will all take you one by one." I swallowed my cries and nodded, he pulled the hem of

my shorts and held the knife to it, I begged him not to but he ripped it with his knife

exposing my white boxer briefs.

"Please please don't, please I am begging you. Don't do this please. Someone help me! Help,

please..."

But he took no notice of my begging or my cry for help, he ripped my boxer briefs exposing

my nakedness then hauled like a hungry wolf. My legs stuck together immediately.

"Open your legs babe, you are a real beauty. I will take my time." No! No! No! I cannot let

him do this to me, I tried to get up and fight him but he punched me so hard in my stomach

making my whole body tense up and cramp. "Try me sweet pea." With one swift move he

held my hands above my head then pulled his pants and briefs down. He tried to kick my legs

apart, squeezing in between my stuck legs. I didn't give in, he cannot take this one thing

away from me, not now, not ever. But he didn't give up until he was finally between my legs,

he knelt in front of me. I immediately closed my eyes this was a dream and I was going to wake

up any minute now, you are dreaming Gugu. I felt a hot slap across my face which brought

me back to the present event, I wasn't dreaming, it wasn't a dream.

"Who said you can close your eyes, look at me. I want you to remember my eyes, my face, I

want you to remember the first guy that fucked you. Open your eyes sweet pea"

I opened my eyes and looked at him in the eye begging him not to do this to me but he did it

anyway, I screamed as he tore me up, shoving his huge dick in me. Breaking me into tiny

pieces.

"You even scream like a girl, look at me. Keep your eyes on me, on me!" he wrapped his

hand around my neck and fucked me like his life depended on it, roughly, fast, hard. He kept

on ramming into me numbing every bone in my body as he did, I wanted him to stop, I

begged him to stop but he didn't, he just kept on going, it's like it wasn't coming to an end, it

felt like he has been in me for hours, every time I closed my eyes he slapped me forcing me

to open them, to look at him and I did. "You are so fucking delicious, fuck your pussy

is soo fucking nice." He kept on going until he was satisfied, he pulled out of me. "I will keep you

for myself, you are so fucking sweet like I always imagined you were going to be. No one will know where you are, no one will look for you in my house."

He got off me and wiped his sweat off his forehead. I curled up into a little ball, I felt so dirty,

so damaged, so broken. He took off his jacket and threw it at me. His friends came back from

no where went to him as he walked away from me. He pulled out a cigarette and smoked it.

"Do we kill her?"

I didn't hear his response.

"Boss we don't do dirty business...we don't kidnap women or girls."

"Let's kill her, put her out of her misery."

"Fuck Ncebo no one will kill anyone here! Get her in my car!" He turned his eyes to me as I

slowly zipped up his jacket which smelt like him but covered my nakedness from all of them.

My hands were shaking, my legs were shaking, I was shaking, I was broken. He threw his

cigarette down then walked towards me, he grabbed me by my arm then pulled me to the

car. I was sore, I was bleeding, I could feel the blood running down my legs, I was broken in

many ways than one.

"Get in, fucking try to run away and I will shoot you. No I won't kill you, I still need that

pussy. But I will shoot you."

After what he did to me, I believed him so I nodded. He opened the door for me, I got in and

he closed. He went to grab the blanket and my clothes that he ripped off me.

"Get in the car gents or walk to your houses."

All his friends got in the car, he got in the driver's seat then started the engine and drove off.

We drove for a while before I could feel my eyes shutting down, I was exhausted and the

drive exhausted me even more.

I woke up in an empty bed, oh it was just a dream. Fuck that was one bad dream and it felt

so real, like it happened. I rubbed my eyes and kicked off the blanket, fuck! Why was I in so

much pain? The door opened and the man from last night walked in, it wasn't a dream? I quickly pulled the blanket back and sat up as fast as I could ignoring the pain between my legs. He was just in his sweatpants and he was sweating, he almost looked like he just got out of gym. He was covered in tattoos, from his neck down to his right arm.

"Finally you are awake, I thought you would never wake."

"Where am I?" I jumped up as he sat on the bed.

"Where no one will find you. I am going for a shower if you want to join me." He got up and

walked into the bathroom, he has a huge tattoo on his back and it was a tattoo of my face,

why did he have me on his back? How did he know me before last night? Who was this man

and what did he want from me? Why did he have me tattooed on his back? And it wasn't

like a old picture of me, it was a recent picture of me that I posted on my social network profiles. No I had to get out of here, this guy is crazy. I quickly got off the bed and looked for pants and a t-

shirt. Anything that I could wear, I found them and threw them on fast then opened the door and ran out of the room. Then to the other side of the hall, this house is huge I thought to myself. I ran down the stairs and into something or someone. It was a man.

"Where are you going so early in the morning? TaBongs!! Nxa you see this bitch will get on

my nerves! I don't know why you had to bring her here with you." He grabbed my hand and

was about to pull me back up the stairs but I pulled my hand out of his grip and punched

him. He threw a punch back at me sending me down to the floor but I got up quickly and ran

for the door. He grabbed me and threw me to the couch.

"Listen here bitch I can easily let you go but that would mess up my boss's mood and I don't

want that. This is what you are going to do, you will behave! You will what? Behave say it

after me! Behave!"

"Who the fuck are you shouting at down there?" The man who invited me for the shower

stood at the top of the stairs.

"Your lesbian bitch over here wanted to run away, I am not about to look after this bitch

Bonga tie your bitch down. And she fucking hits like a man." He groaned.

The man chuckled then walked down the stairs to the lounge, he was in a vest and sweat

pants. He looked at me as soon as he got downstairs.

"Did you hit her?"

"She hit me first, it was self defense."

"Whatever, go upstairs shower then come back downstairs to make me something to eat."

"What?!" What was I, his maid?

"I didn't stutter, you are a woman and you belong in the kitchen. Drop all of this man act

now and do as I say before you upset me."

"I don't really care whether you get upset or don't, I just want to leave this fucking house."

He walked towards me and grabbed me by the neck of the t-shirt.

"Leave us Mike."

He walked away so I was just left with Bonga, he pulled me up by the t-shirt. His eyes were

dark.

"Look here woman you are going to do exactly what I tell you to or you will get a

punishment."

"Do your worst!" There was nothing else for him to do to break me, he already broke me last

night. There was nothing else for him to do. He punched me so hard in my guts that I got

cramps right away. He punched me again in the same spot and I coughed out. I couldn't

take the pain inflicted on my body anymore.

"Must I keep going because I have the whole day Gugulethu?" he held me by my neck and

squeezed, I quickly shook my head. "I thought so." He released me throwing me back on the

couch. "Clean yourself up, I will fuck you again tonight." With that said he left the room,

tears immediately fell out of my eyes but I wasn't going to give up, I had to get out of here. I

got up from the couch and went to look outside the window, I had to find a way out. We

were surrounded by tall trees, it looked like we were in a forest. I will leave when he and his

friends are not here to stop me. I went back upstairs to the room that I was in a few minutes

ago. I had a quick shower then got out to lotion my body then got dressed in the clothes

that I pulled out of his closet earlier when I wanted to escape then wore my sneakers

without the socks because they were bloody. I went to put them in the trash can in the

bathroom then went back downstairs then to the kitchen where I made him and myself

breakfast. I needed the strength if I was going to run away tonight.

He walked into the kitchen just as I was dishing up, he made himself coffee then sat down,

pulled out a cigarette then lit it. I put his plate in front of him then poured myself coffee as

well.

"You smoke right?"

I shook my head and he put it off.

"What made you what you are?" he asked.

"What I am?"

"A fucking lesbian."

I wasn't in the mood for any small talk or his homophobic questions so I just took my food to

the lounge with me. I am Bisexual, I just prefer dressing like a guy more.

"Sit down and eat with me."

I rolled my eyes and continued to the lounge, I sat down and ate there. After eating I got up

and went to wash the small dishes in the kitchen. After cleaning the kitchen he showed me around the house, it was huge and beautiful but very cold. The house was protected it wasn't going to be easy to break out of here.

"Where are we?"

"Somewhere no one will ever find you, a place that no one really goes to. That no one lives in."

That wasn't helping much but I nodded.

"I have some business to attend to, don't run away. I will find you before you even get far."

I nodded. He walked towards me and kissed my forehead then walked off. I wiped my

forehead then followed after him but to the lounge, I sat there and watched some TV

waiting for him to leave. As soon as he left I got up and ran to the door, it was a metal door

with a magnetic lock. Fuck! I searched the walls for a button or key to press to open the

door. Who needs a door like this anyway? I went to the windows and they had burglar

guards. For fucks sakes! I went to every room looking for a phone or laptop, or anything to

help me contact my family but there was nothing. I screamed out of frustration and sat

down balling out my eyes. I was trapped in here with that monster who was after my blood.

I was in the lounge eating my super when I heard the door open, he walked in with his friends from last night. I sat up properly a part of me scared that it was that time again which is why he called them here, they were carrying bags. They threw them on the floor then sat down on the couches. Ignoring me like I wasn't there at all.

"Get us some food and beers from the fridge." Bonga said, I quickly got up happy to leave the room. I went to the kitchen to dish up for them, glad that I cooked lots of food.

"This girl is all over social networks, even that bitch that you used to fuck is looking for her. Her name is Nicolette Gugulethu Sibiya." Oh that's where I know him from, he is my girl's boyfriend that I fought with in the club. I took her from him. Was this his revenge? Rape me? Torture me? Kidnap me so that he could keep me away from her? It didn't make sense, what was my face doing on his back?

"I don't really care, no one will ever find her." He said. "She messed with the wrong person

and now she has to pay for it everyday for the rest of her life." Bonga said, is this really what it is? Revenge for taking his girl? If that's the case then why, just why does he have my face tattooed on his back?

"Gugulethu where are those beers and our food?!"

"I am coming!" I took the food to the lounge, serving him and some other guy first. I went back to the kitchen and got the rest of the plates then went to serve them. I went back to the kitchen to get their beers then served them. They quickly ate.

"This bitch can cook. Keep the drinks coming." Mike said and I rolled my eyes then sat down on a single couch, I wanted to see them coming. Tonight I was ready for them.

"Can you count that cash and divide the cocaine so long I need to blow off some steam. Come with me Gugu."

"When will you let us taste her?" Another guy asked.

"Fuck off Skroof no one will taste her besides me, got that?"

"She must be really good for you to want to fuck her alone."

"We never share bitches so fuck you!" he pulled me up.

"Please don't do this to me again, I will do anything for you just don't do this to me. I will be

one of your boys, I will do what they do." I begged him.

"I don't want to hear this ever again." He stopped and scooped me up putting me over his

shoulder then went up the stairs with me.

He threw me on the bed, in his bedroom then went to close and lock the door.

"Get out of those clothes." He started undressing.

"Please I will do anything Bonga just don't make me do this."

"You have nothing else to offer besides this Gugulethu."

"I am strong Bonga try me." I begged.

"I already am." He was down to his boxers, he stepped out of them and walked towards the

bed, last night I thought he was huge without seeing him but tonight my suspicions were

confirmed, he was so huge! How did he fit in me? Tears started falling from my eyes as he

pulled me towards the edge of the bed, I knew that I was defeated already so I didn't fight

him. He undressed me until I was naked then he pulled me to the edge of the bed filling me

up as roughly and forcefully as he could earning a cry from me. I cried out as he banged me

like I was some good for nothing prostitute until he was satisfied. By the time that he was

done with me I was tired and sore, he pulled out of me and got dressed in shorts then threw

a vest over his head. I pulled the blanket over me and curled into a small ball crying as he

walked out. How long was this going to go on for? How long was he going to keep me here

for? Do this to me?

I must have cried myself to sleep because I was woken up by him, he got on top of me, filling

me up. I tried to push him off me but he pinned me down.

"Bonga please." I tried to fight him but he held me down tightly and shoved it all in me

making me scream.

"Its sore Bonga please..."

"Don't close your eyes Gugu, keep them on me. You are a woman right? Say it Gugu, you are a woman you will never be part of the boys."

He slammed deeper in me, fuck that was too deep it hurt. I quickly nodded.

"Say it!" He slammed into me again.

"I am a woman! Fuck I am woman!"

"My woman?"

"Yes! Please just stop please" I cried out, it hurt so much.

"I am not done, we are not done. And you will serve me, say it!"

He held my legs and put them on his shoulder going deeper in me. No! No, no! It hurt so

much worse than before. I felt like he was splitting me in half.

"I will serve you! I will serve you!" I screamed, he was in too deep.

"There you go!" he groaned. "Now you will come with me."

I shook my head, I couldn't do it. I cannot enjoy what he is doing to me. He slammed into me

telling me to come, he slammed into my soft spot again and I could feel it coming. Why was my body betraying me? I didn't want this. He slammed into me again and I exploded with

tears in my eyes. I hate him, I hate myself, I hate my body. How could it betray me like this? He violated me, how could it give in?

"Fuck!" He groaned as he spilled in me. "You are amazing." He pulled out of me and slept

next to me.

"I am sure no one has made you feel like this before, fucked you like I have."

I laid on my side looking away from him. No one has ever been in me before, not my

girlfriend or girl before her, not my ex boyfriend, not even myself. I wiped my tears then got

out of bed, I went to the bathroom to wash him off me. I felt so disgusted by myself, by him.

But no matter how much I scrubbed myself I still felt dirty, I screamed and punched the wall.

Fuck! That hurt but it felt good, finally I could focus on something else, on another pain

besides the one in my heart. I turned the water off then wrapped a towel around my body

and walked out of the shower. My hand felt so sore and heavy, I brought it up to my chest

and held it.

"What the fuck did you do to your hand?" Bonga asked walking into the bathroom, he was

still naked so I looked away.

"Nothing", I mumbled more to myself than him. He just gave me that whatever look then

peed in the toilet. I walked out of the bathroom to the bedroom, his phone was on the

bedside table. This was my chance to reach out, but where was I going to say I am? I took his

phone, it was 12 midnight. He was going to walk out any second now, I quickly threw it back

on the table as the bathroom door opened. He looked at me then at his phone, it was still

on. The light that is.

"What were you doing on my phone?"

"I was just checking the time, I swear I didn't do anything."

"Don't fucking lie to me! What did you do?!" he punched me on my mouth and nose, I could

taste blood in my mouth immediately. I backed away and covered my mouth, I was in so

much pain, tears rolled down my eyes.

"Tell me!"

"Nothing you can check. I swear!"

He took his phone and checked it then nodded.

"Get in bed let's sleep."

"I need to clean myself first."

"Go on."

I went to the bathroom and sat on the toilet seat, why my? What did I do to deserve this? I grabbed toilet paper and wiped my nose, it was bleeding and broken. It was so sore, so was my hand. I got up when I was calm and cleaned myself then went back to the bedroom, I got dressed in his boxer briefs and t-shirt then got in bed next to him but far away from him.

"Who said get dressed?"

"No one."

"Then get off those clothes."

I got out of bed and undressed then got back in bed.

"Come closer."

I didn't shift or anything.

"Do you want me to fuck you again so that you will admit to being a woman again and to

serving me?"

"No, I am sorry" I scooted closer to him, he wrapped his arm and leg around me and started

snoring softly. I laid on the bed awake, I couldn't sleep again and every time I tried to move

or get out of his arms he woke up. My hand was in so much pain and I could feel it swelling

up, and my lips and nose. It's only when the sun started coming up that I fell asleep.