Homecoming Love

Your brother's wedding should be considered a happy day, right?

But for me, it's not.

In fact, I'm dreading it.

Not because of my brother-or his fiancée, for that matter, I do like her-but because I know who will be there, and that's something I'm not looking forward to.

I have what people call a rotten picker-for men, that is.

Every single guy I ever hooked up with or had a fling with were stupid assholes.

Except one. Spencer Bailey.

And he is precisely the reason why I'm not excited for my brother's wedding.

I'm definitely not ready to see him again.

But to tell my brother that I won't attend his wedding because I'm afraid to face my ex would be pathetic.

Even for me.

And I'm not that person. I'm not someone who runs from problems. I face them head on. Or at least, that's what I like to think I do.

Well, I guess if you're ready for some drama, then my life is definitely the right place for you to find it.

"Stop looking at me like that," I burst to my sister, Lauren, rolling my eyes and tossing my pillow at her. "I've already told you several times that I'm fine. And if anything, you should be taking my side on this. I don't have to remind you of the reasons why this sucks."

"I was just checking on you to make sure you're okay." Lauren tosses the pillow back at me before pulling her light brown hair into a ponytail and fixing her firefighter uniform. It still astonishes me how she can look so pretty wearing a uniform-and before 8:00 A.M. That should be considered a crime. "And honestly, we have, like, thousands of cousins coming to the wedding. Maybe you won't even see Spencer. Let alone bump into him."

She is right about that. We do have a big family. Mom and Dad have, like, countless siblings, which takes us to countless cousins and so on....

"Whatever," I mumble, frustrated. "What are you even doing here? Don't you have to go to work? I don't even know why you moved out in the first place if you are here pretty much every day."

"Well, last time I checked, this is still my parents' house. I can come by anytime I want. And I moved out because I wanted to be closer to the fire department. I can sleep a few more minutes since I don't have to drive there."

I groan, too frustrated to find a proper answer for her. At moments like this, I regret not having my own space.

But honestly, I went down that road several times before, and none of those times could I convince myself that paying rent while my parents own this huge ranch was a good idea. They give me enough privacy; I have my own room. I don't meddle in their business, and they don't meddle in mine, and I get to help them with some of the bills. It's a win-win situation.

"I'll be going now. Are we still on for picking up the dresses tomorrow morning?" Lauren asks with her hand already on the doorknob.

"Yeah, ten A.M. sharp. Otherwise, I'll leave without you," I answer, flashing her a grin and tossing the pillow back at her. She dodges it and turns on her heel, vanishing from my sight before I have the chance to tell her off.

I sigh, falling back on my bed and staring at the ceiling. I really don't want to complain about my life or anything-I'm not that person. I don't mope. I have a good life. I don't even have the right to complain.

But my family bringing up this problem all the time is making me poke at that wound again. It took me so long to close it, to put it behind me. I thought I'd never have to see Spencer again. Or at least, when I had to see him, that it wouldn't bother me. Wasn't it supposed to be the way this should go?

I shouldn't be worried about seeing Spencer. It should mean nothing.

In fact, Lauren is right, I might not even have to talk to him. The party will be filled with guests, friends, and family. Why would I pay attention to Spencer?

Truth be told, from the way things ended between us, I doubt he'll talk to me even if I trip and fall on his lap. Which I hope with all my heart doesn't happen!

I'll be the bigger person here. I will swallow down my pride, hold my head high, and go through this moment politely, pretending he didn't shatter my heart into tiny little pieces that no one was ever able to put back together.

"Hayden Jenkins! Breakfast is ready! Come on!" Mom yells from downstairs, her voice reverberating through my room even though I have the windows and the door closed. She's this kind, tiny little person, but she can be so loud when she wants to be. It's insane. "I know you're up! You sister just told me, so hurry up or I won't save you any pie!"

Geez, the nerve of this woman to threaten me with pie. Ugh!

"Coming in a second, Mom!" I yell back, tossing myself off the bed. I don't bother changing out of my pajamas, just pull my hair up into a messy bun and rush down the stairs, feeling the delicious smell of dough and coffee hit my nostrils.

"Good morning, sunshine!" Dad greets me as soon as I step into the kitchen. And that's when I realize it's crowded.

Ryan, Alice, Chad, Mom, and Dad are all gathered around the table, with all sorts of fruits, cakes, bread, and Mom's delicious apple pie-which is already being destroyed by Chad-in front of them.

"Is it someone's birthday today? Why are we having pie for breakfast anyway? Isn't that for special occasions only?" I ask, a bit grumpy. Did I mention I'm not a morning person?

"Always a delight, Hayden. Calling her sunshine is a bit contradictory, isn't it, Dad?" Chad teases me while shoving a forkful of pie into his mouth and grinning at me.

"Will you leave some of that for me, or will you eat it all by yourself?" I push him on the shoulder when I pass by him to get to my spot at the table. "Good morning, Alice." I flash my sister-in-law-to-be a smile, trying to be polite since she doesn't have to put up with my morning mood.

My family is another story.

"Today is a special occasion, sweetheart. Your brother is getting married, and only God knows when I'll get the whole family together like this again. It's a pity your sister won't be joining us," Mom explains.

I want to roll my eyes and tell her she's being overdramatic, because even though Ryan is getting married, I'm positive he won't stop coming over to eat her food. He already moved out a while ago, and he still shows up pretty much every day. Just like my other two siblings.

"Lauren said you were grumpy this morning, but I didn't think it'd be this much," Ryan chimes in, raising his eyebrows at me.

"And I have all of you to thank for that, don't I?" The words fly out of my mouth before I have the chance to think about it. I wasn't planning on discussing this with anyone-not even Lauren, but the annoying girl pretty much forced it out of me-but now that I let them in, they won't let it go.

Ryan's brows arch even more, and I feel everyone's eyes on me.

"Are you still upset that I invited him?" Ryan asks cautiously, his brows creasing into a frown. "I thought you were over it. It's been what... six years?"

"Seven. And I AM over it. You are the ones bringing it up every time and not letting me forget about it."

Me and my big mouth! I should have let it go, pretended I'm not freaking out.

"Honey, it's not like your brother could get away with not inviting him. The Baileys have been our friends for years," Mom tries to meddle in.

I know she has the best of intentions, but I don't want to hear it. Honestly, I don't want to have this conversation with any of them.

I appreciate their concern. They saw how broken I was when Spencer and I ended things. I'm really thankful for them being there for me all of those years ago, but now, it's just weird to talk about this.

"I am fine, okay? I can behave, if that's what everyone is concerned about," I tell Ryan and Alice, flashing her another smile when I see her brows creasing in a concerned way. "I won't ruin your wedding, I promise."

Alice shakes her head at me, dismissing me with a comforting smile, but I know better than that. Everyone is afraid of me getting drunk and telling Spencer to shove all of his success with his career up his ass.

"You know that's not what I mean, Hays. I don't want you to be uncomfortable at my wedding," Ryan continues.

He's conflicted, I can tell, but it's hard to pretend I'm not dying inside either. Even though I'm doing my best to tell them that I'm fine, only I know how the prospect of seeing Spencer again is keeping me awake at night.

"I won't be. There will be hundreds of people present. I won't even have to be close to him." I repeat what Lauren said to me earlier. It is a huge possibility indeed. Seeing Spencer from a distance and having to talk to him are two different things.

I can feel Chad's gaze on me, but I don't dare look at him.

Obviously, I never wanted his friendship with Spencer to get off track, so I tried the best I could to keep any information from getting to him, but he's not stupid. Even though he doesn't know what happened between us, I know he's worried about us being in the same room again. I can't blame him.

My mother clears her throat, pouring more coffee for Alice and my dad. "Alice, dear, is there anything else you need help with? Oscar can drive us around, and I can leave the bakery for a few hours."

I'm so grateful that she changed the subject that I almost let out a sigh of relief. I finally get to my breakfast, putting everything I can grab on my plate, but my stomach is telling me it's not a good idea. I'm suddenly not that hungry anymore, but dismissing my mom's delicious food would be a waste-especially her pie.

Alice shakes her head, her perfect blonde locks swooshing over her shoulders. "Oh, not at all, Norah. You already did a lot by letting me skip work today. Everything is settled. Ryan just has to pick up his tux. Right, baby?"

Ryan makes a noise similar to a grunt, his mouth too full to reply without getting chastised by Mom.

"Well, I hate to interrupt this family bonding moment, but I have to go to the newspaper before I get fired." I rise from my seat, taking a last sip of coffee and waving goodbye to everyone.

I rush to the sink to wash my plate and mug and run upstairs to get dressed, not feeling very enthusiastic about work today. However, I do want to get out of the house and avoid the pitiful stares I'm getting from my family. I won't be able to handle another day filled with questions about Spencer and how I feel about seeing him after seven years.

You'd think it's weird that I never saw him again after he left to study in LA, especially with his sister still living in Missoula. Back then, I used to find excuses to come home from college every week or two–doing the laundry in the dorms was a pain, and I missed my mom's food more frequently than not–but whenever I heard Spencer would be back to visit his family and hang out with my brother, I managed to stay at Poppy's-my best friend-or at the dorm, so I didn't have to risk bumping into him.

Half an hour later, I arrive at the newspaper and take a deep breath before walking inside, preparing myself for the day.

Poppy spots me as soon as I cross the threshold and rushes toward me, her long, wavy auburn hair bouncing up and down.

"Isn't it lame that we work at the local newspaper, and all our boss wants to know about is your brother's wedding? She wants ME to write an article about it, as if people don't have more important things to read about," she complains when she approaches me, her beautiful green eyes rolling up as she tells me the news.

"Seriously?" I ask with a frown. "Does she really want you to cover the wedding while being completely drunk and not in control of your mental faculties?" I tease, laughing at her shocked face. I drop my head back when I see her discreetly flipping the bird at me.

"You're ridiculous," she mumbles, annoyed. "I'd think this is stupid if I were you."

"I do," I agree, pulling myself together. "But it is what it is. It's a small town; people like to talk. Besides, you can do this with your eyes closed."

"What about while being hungover? Because that's how I'll be after tomorrow. Or maybe I'll be comforting your whiny ass after you realize you lost the most handsome man this town ever saw."

I halt in my steps, turning to look at her. "Meaning?" I challenge with clenched teeth.

Poppy tosses her hands in the air in a surrendering pose. "You know what I mean... I know you last saw Spencer in another lifetime, but can you imagine how hot he must be now, at twenty-eight? Girl, I don't envy you."

I shrug, biting my tongue and preventing myself from telling her to fuck off. "It was his loss, not mine."

"That is true." Poppy concedes, nodding eagerly at me.

"Besides, he can be as hot as he wants. I couldn't care less," I carry on, too pissed off to stop now. "I bet all he can find in LA are women wanting to take advantage of him and his stupid position at the record label."

"And do you think he's complaining about that?" Poppy teases, nudging me in the ribs.

"It must get tiring some days, don't you think? Spencer used to want a big family. I don't see him giving up on that. But again, what do I know? I thought I knew him, and I was damn wrong." I head for my office, Poppy hot on my tail.

"Sorry, girl. I was just joking to ease the mood, but I guess that was a bit cruel of me."

"It's fine. I'm just overreacting. My family went all 'intervention' on me this morning, and they've been cornering me ever since Ryan announced he was going to get married. I'm still having a hard time handling the idea of seeing Spencer, and they're not helping," I muse, finally getting to my office. I toss myself into the chair behind my desk, leaning back and closing my eyes.

"Shit, that must have sucked. And I totally understand why you feel this way. You're not overreacting. You're just being cautious and protective of your heart. What's wrong with that?" Poppy asks, sitting across from me and holding my gaze.

I sigh. "I hate to be this person, but I just can't shake this bad feeling. I don't know what to think or feel. Seems stupid to be thinking about this after so long, don't you agree?"

"No, I don't. Every person feels different about different situations. Only you know what you went through, even if we were all there to watch it. But you have nothing to fear, okay? I'll be there with you the entire time. And if you need my 'come-and-rescue-me' superpower, all you have to do is blink. and I'll punch him in the face."

I chuckle, shaking my head at her. Poppy is such a loyal and reliable friend. I have no doubt she would do what she says if I ask her to.

But she is right. I have nothing to fear. I'll be there, enjoying my brother's big day, pretending Spencer isn't there, and it will be over before I know it.

But fate is a funny thing, isn't it? It never really goes the way we expect it to.

Neither does it fail to surprise you-for better or worse.

The next morning, Lauren and I go out to pick up our maid of honor dresses. Since Alice doesn't have a sister, she chose us both to stand up with her. Her brother will be Ryan's best man alongside Chad.

Lauren and I picked two simple, but incredibly beautiful, silk olive green dresses. After the ceremony at the church, we'll go back to our family ranch where the reception is being held. I wasn't so sure about it at first, but now I can see it's actually a good idea. I know every single shortcut in there, and if I want to-or need to-I can hide or escape to the house in no time.

"Aren't you glad Alice picked a color that looks good on both of us?" Lauren asks, admiring herself in the mirror while we do our final fitting to make sure there isn't anything to be sewed or fixed before we take them home.

I admire myself too, seeing the fabric hold my curves in the right places. I do look nice in it. My chestnut-brown hair doesn't stand out as much as Lauren's, but I like the way it accentuates my fair skin and the freckles on my nose-which I'm actually fond of.

I ignore the way my brain reminds me of how much Spencer used to love my freckles too and nod at Lauren. "Yeah, green suits us."

I can see Lauren's eyes darting from my face to the floor and back to me, as if she wants to say something but is not sure if she should. She has a good heart and is compassionate. She's a good sister to me. We've always been close, and I trust her with all my heart, even if sometimes she can be super nosy.

However, I can tell she's genuinely worried about me, so I take a deep breath and decide to address this in a serious way for once.

"I am okay, pony." That's what I've called her ever since she was three and begged Dad to get her a pony for her birthday. It began as teasing, but eventually, it became a thing between us, and she started calling me that too. Now, it's just a loving nickname we use with each other. "Really."

"I know you are! It's just that..." She sighs, turning to look at me face-to-face instead of through the mirror. "I remember how this was a terrible period for you, and I don't want to see you go down that hole again."

I smile fondly at her, grabbing her hands and squeezing them. "Look, I know you're all worried about me, and I do appreciate it. But I'm stronger now. I won't let him get to me. And I promise you that, if I feel somewhat sad or uncomfortable, you'll be the first to know, okay?"

"Okay..." Lauren finally seems convinced, and I drop my shoulders. "It's a promise. You tell me, and I'll punch Spencer in the face and take you away from the party, hear me?"

I chuckle, nodding at her. "Poppy said she'd do the same thing."

"Poppy knows the deal," Lauren adds with a shrug, turning her attention back to her reflection in the mirror. "I love you, pony. And you can count on me any time. You know that."

I smile at her, ignoring the sudden lump forming in my throat. Lauren and I don't normally show affection toward each other, rather choosing to show our love through bickering and teasing, but I know she loves me and will do anything to see me happy. Just as I am there for her no matter what. Knowing I have Poppy and Lauren on my side is enough for me to put my fears and insecurities behind me and focus on the day ahead.

This is an important moment for my brother and my family, and a guy shouldn't be able to ruin this for me. So, with this renewed determination in mind, I take off my dress and head back home with my sister so we can start getting ready.

The ranch is pure chaos by the time we return, and after checking if anyone needs my assistance, I go to my bedroom to take a shower and get my hair and makeup done. Lauren rushes to her old room, saying she'll meet me when she needs help with her eyeliner-something she can't get right no matter how many video tutorials she watches.

Thankfully, I'm skilled at that.

It takes us three hours to be completely ready and waiting by the front door.

"We're going to be late," Dad complains, waiting by his truck with the driver's door open. "Just get in and let's go!" He slides behind the steering wheel, and I climb onto the back seat.

"Where's Chad?" Lauren asks, following me while staring back at the house, searching for our brother.

"He's picking Ryan up, remember?" I answer as we watch Mom walk out of the house looking like a Hollywood queen.

She gets inside the car. When Dad kisses her in front of us, Lauren and I fake vomiting, and after that, we finally head out.

People say that weddings make us emotional and thoughtful, and well, they aren't lying about that. It's inevitable to imagine certain scenarios when you cross those beautiful old wooden doors and spot the colorful glass windows around, the painted ceilings, and the majestic and ethereal architecture of the church.

I would be lying if I said I never imagined being the one walking down this aisle. I lost count of how many times in the past I pictured my wedding day with Spencer. I don't regret that. I was too in love, completely infatuated by him, so I really thought we would one day be husband and wife.

But life had other plans for us.

As Mom and Dad walk to the back of the church to meet Father Joseph, Lauren and I head toward Chad, Ryan, and Poppy, who are gathered in a corner, talking enthusiastically.

"Hey, guys. What's up?" Lauren greets them as soon as we approach them.

"Everything all right?" I ask, taking in their faces.

"Yep," Chad replies with a grin. "Just giving Ryan the last chance to run away from this. I can distract Mom and Dad, and you can distract Alice."

I throw my hands up, smiling at them. "Don't count on me for that, bro. Alice can be really scary when she wants to be."

"You're not wrong about that," Ryan muses in a low voice. He seems a bit nervous, fidgeting with his fingers.

I look around, making sure no one is close enough to hear us, and stare back at him. "You're sure about this? It would be okay if you aren't," I say softly.

Chad and Lauren nod eagerly. Poppy remains quiet, and I know that even though she's known my family since forever, she doesn't feel like this is a conversation she should be part of.

Ryan kindly smiles at me, and warmth spreads through my heart as I realize this is it. My oldest brother is getting married and starting his own family. This gives me a bitter feeling, knowing life will be somewhat different now. I always struggle with changes. Ryan doesn't live at the house anymore, so it's not like it will be a drastic change, but still... The realization that he will have his own family now weighs on me.

"I'm sure of it. Alice is the love of my life, and I can't wait to marry her," he replies. "Thank you for being so supportive, though. All of you," he adds, glancing at our siblings. "It means a lot to know I'll have you all by my side no matter what."

"Of course, man. That's what we're here for," Chad remarks cheerfully, patting Ryan on the shoulder. "Just don't show up at my place when Alice sends you to sleep on the couch. I might have someone over."

"Ew, Chad. You should man up and stop being such a playboy," Lauren complains, rolling her eyes like she's repulsed. She lowers her voice. "No one will ever want to marry you when you have your dick inside a different woman every night."

Chad seems offended for a moment, but then widens his grin, turning to Poppy. "Poppy would marry me, wouldn't you?"

She chuckles, unbothered by his flirtation. "Of course. In your dreams I would."

I cover my mouth with my hand, preventing a loud laugh from coming out. Chad's expression is priceless, and we all have to do our best not to make a scene inside the church.

Our bonding moment is soon interrupted when Mom and Dad rush us to the entrance so the ceremony can start. I notice immediately that Spencer isn't around. I'm starting to wonder if he decided not to come. It can't be a comfortable thing for him to do either.

As I walk down the aisle to get to my maid of honor position by the altar, I spot Spencer's sister, Aubrie, with her husband and daughter, and I briefly nod at them. They have always been nice to me, and there's no reason for me to be anything but kind to them. They didn't break my heart and throw the pieces to the wind like Spencer did.

By the time Alice shows up, looking divine in her white perfect princess wedding dress, my brain gives me a break and forgets about Spencer. For a moment, all I can pay attention to is this beautiful bride walking toward her husband-to-be, looking as happy as I've ever seen her, the future ahead of them so uncertain, but at the same time, so secure.

If the expression on my brother's face is any indication of how much he loves her, I believe they will be fine.

But then, something shifts my focus. In my peripheral vision, I can see someone sneaking in through the side door, walking toward one of the last pews as careful and silent as a person could ever be.

And I make the mistake of turning my head to see who it is.