His To Ruin

Nova

It's finally here! my nineteenth birthday has finally arrived.

I'm sure y'all are wondering why's she so freaked about her nineteenth and whatnot.

My boyfriend Deshawn and I have been dating for a year and we both agreed that my first time was going to be on my nineteenth birthday. I dunno how we came up with that, but I guess it was just a spur of moment kinda thing and we stuck with it. I don't regret it, never will, and never have.

Deshawn and I have been together since he moved into town and was my neighbour, but we never got together until he started my highschool. The rest is history.

I get out of bed and make my way to my dresser to pick out what I'd be wearing for the day, I'm the kind of person that picks comfort over any other thing, also because I'm on the big side.

I rummage through my wardrobe and end up settling for a pair of big sweatpants I got from my big brother, Chance before he travelled, and a big tee.

I giggle to myself as the memory of my not-so-successful robbery appeared in my head.

I love stealing his clothes.

Yes it's my birthday, yes I'm wearing ordinary clothes and yes I also don't care.

My birthday has always been the same now, every year since I can remember. it's always me, all alone in my room. Sometimes it's interesting if Chance is around but ever since he travelled, I have to settle for the different time-zone calls.

The only thing I'm looking forward to is the time I'll get to spend with Deshawn later. My smile broadens as I remember the one person that makes me the happiest.

I grab my towel once I step out of the shower, my bathe was so quick it almost felt like I didn't take any, but I did.

I'm not surprised my parents haven't called me down for breakfast or even wished me a happy birthday, that's if they're even home.

They barely remember I exist not to talk of being at home.

Sometimes Chance and I feel like they're just our distant relatives and not our real parents, that's just the sad truth.

That's one of the reasons Chance left this town the first chance he got. Most people might be mad at him for ditching me or something of the sort, but he's my brother and I'm always going to be happy for his success no matter what form or shape it takes.

Even though you've not seen him for almost

four years?

"He'll come back, I know he will" I mutter to myself as if saying it loud will make it come to pass

I pick up my phone and I'm surprised to see zero text messages. I mean what did I expect, but at least I had hope that Deshawn would have texted or something.

I dial his number and listen to it ring repeatedly before he finally answers

"Hey babe" he exclaims, he sounds completely out of breath

I squeeze my brows together in confusion "Hey, how are you?"

He clears his throat " I'm good, Happy Birthday babe" he says making me forget the slight anger I was feeling earlier

"Thank you, baby. For a moment there I thought you forgot"

"Never! How could I forget it's the day we've both been waiting for."I went to Micheal's party last night and got back completely wasted so I forgot to plug my phone to charge, I just did now and your call came in"

Oh okay, so that's what made you remember...

"You sound out of breath, you good?"

"Yeah, I'm on the treadmill. Hey babe I'm gonna call you back gotta take care of something"

"Okay talk to you later, I love you-"

I hear the beep before I could finish my statement.

I fall back onto my bed defeatedly, I have no idea what to do now, feels like I got dressed up for nothing.

Don't cry! Be strong, you're not pathetic!

I chanted slowly in my head trying to encourage myself.

I picked up my phone and I decided to scroll through TikTok, it was the least I can do to cheer myself up at this point.

I've spent almost an hour watching all sorts of TikTok videos, pets, dance, and comedy and none of them seems to be of much help in distracting me from wanting to call Deshawn.

Call me pathetic or whatever it hurts to know that your favourite person in the whole world is out there somewhere on your special day, and you lack their attention.

Deshawn is not only my boyfriend he's like my best friend, the only friend I have, to be honest.

I was too closed off in high school to think anyone wanted to be friends with me, or even be friends with them. High school students can be annoying sometimes. So I came up with the conclusion that I'm better off without friends for now.

And then Deshawn showed up.

I went downstairs grabbed my car keys and got in my car, part of me knew I wasn't thinking straight right now but I was going to do it before I chicken out.

I'm heading to Deshawn's house.

A few minutes later I pull up to his driveway. I contemplate parking my car because I can hear music, and see numerous beer cans who has a party by this time? I pick up my phone to check the time only to see that it's 7:30!

I was watching TikTok for several hours!

I park my car and walk to his house I considered knocking but I doubt anyone will hear me with all the loud music but I still decide to knock.

The door opens up before I could knock and someone I'm very sure does not live at Deshawn's house invites me in.

"Thank you" I mutter to the strange guy.

I walk in and part of me suddenly feels underdressed, I brush the feeling off, close the door behind me and I make my way to Deshawn's room.

People start clapping once I'm at the feet of the stairs, at first one guy started it then the rest joined in and I notice all eyes on someone, I turn around to check but nobody. Yep! their eyes are definitely on me.

I look up the stairs and I hear footsteps and see Deshawn coming down

the claps and cheering start to die down "Hey princess" I smile at the nickname like I always do

"Why are they clapping?"

"It's your birthday remember?" he laughs as if I could forget.

"Yeah, I know so?"

"The party is for you. That's why they were cheering I was upstairs looking for my phone to call you before you arrived"

I looked around the entire room and all I could see was a room full of people that I didn't know and a lot of beer cans and weird substances on the table like any other house party I'd heard about from Chance.

This is supposed to be a party for me?

I smile at Deshawn unable to even utter the word thank you.

"Let's go" he smiles at me as he leads the way to his room

We get to his room and I go to seat on his bed but it smells weird and is scattered so I settle on the chair while he takes the bed.

Ew.

What's going on today? My entire body and mind are telling me to run for the heels and not look back. And usually, I listen to my body, sometimes... when I'm hungry.

But this time it's like a blaring alarm telling me to run and get out of this place, I can almost smell the discomfort.

But my heart is saying another thing, this is Deshawn whom you've been dating for a long time now and very soon you are going to join him at his college.

And as naive and stupid as I was, I followed my heart.

"Nova, what's wrong?"

"Nothing"

"Come here baby," he said patting beside him on his bed

Nova run!

"Do you mind changing your sheets first? These smell weird"

He chuckled as he got up to grab new ones "Sorry"

I got up to help lay the bed "It's okay" I guess this is what I am getting for not listening to my body. I smiled at him

"Much better" I exclaimed and I could finally lie on it

Deshawn lays down beside me facing me

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

I nodded

"I love you"

"I love you too, Nova"

I moved closer to him and pressed my lips to his, I could feel his hands move around slowly on my body. His hands rested on my back a few inches above my butt.

We continue kissing it feels the same as our other kisses.

What do you mean Nova? Do you want something else?

I don't know!

Wow, now my subconscious and I are having a chat, good to see you're finally losing it, Nova Carter.

I drew back from the kiss, no exact reason for me to stop but I did.

"What's wrong?"

"I dunno"

"Hey hey, it's okay it can be like that the first time you don't need to be scared I'll take care of you"

It can what! Might as well list the number of virginities you've taken!

OH MY GOD

"I'm going home" I get out of his bed and pick up my hoodie.

"What!"

"I'm going ho-"

"I heard you, why do you want to go home?" Deshawn got up from his bed and stood in front of me

"What do you mean by, why do I want to go home?"

"We've wanted this for a long time, you can't just stop now"

Excuse you?

"I can't stop now? I can't stop now!" I ask my tone going higher

"I mean I'm already hard and- Don't you love me, Nova? I thought we were ready for this?"

"Well turns out I'm not, maybe next year, you can wait again yeah? I reply sarcastically "Goodbye Deshawn"

That if we're still together

I walk out the door and I hear him behind me

I'm at the head of the stairs overlooking everybody downstairs, I ignore them and make my way downstairs.

"You were not even a good lay!" I stop and turn around to see it was Deshawn who said it

"What?" My voice comes out in a whisper

He walks up close to me "You heard me, you think after all this time I spent dating you I liked you? Nah not one bit"

"Deshawn wh-

All eyes were on us now and it felt as if his voice just kept getting louder

"Nobody likes the fat girl, I sure don't, right guys?" that earned him a couple of laughs and answers from the crowd. I could hear laughing and booing from around me.

I could see them pointing at me somewhere even recording and I just stood there and received all the embarrassment.

"Lose weight!"

"Guys like skinny girls!"

"Sorry you lost your virginity in vain"

Those were all the words I heard from all around me, but the last one did it

"I didn't lose my virginity!" I have no idea if my voice was loud enough or if they just kept quiet again so I could hear another person abuse me verbally.

Like clockwork, all eyes turned to Deshawn and I looked at him too, hoping to God that one part of him was still the same sweet boy I love.

"Yeah right" he replied and the laughter resumes.

I turn around and make my way to the door my eyesight blurry because of tears

I see a white girl standing in front of me with a smirk " Oh before I forget, I fucked your boyfriend in his room before you came"

I turned to look towards Deshawn again and I see him laughing and shaking some of his friends as if he just won one of those games he used to play back in high school, and they were congratulating him.

But this time it was at my expense.

I clean my tears and make my way to my car, I try my possible best to console myself enough to drive and get home.

Once I'm in front of my house and my car is parked, I can't help but let out tears again I grab my house keys and make my way upstairs to my room.

I can't wait to leave this godforsaken town.

Noise from my phone wakes me My eyes dash to my small bedside mirror, my eyes are red and puffy from crying for hours.

I pick up my phone to check the text message

The message was from an unknown number, probably someone trying to continue their sick game from earlier.

The entire idea brought tears to my eyes again.

I hate my life, I hate this!

I fall asleep with tears in my eyes and a broken heart, the one person I trusted the most had shattered my heart into a million pieces like I was an object he could dispose of at any time.

Her phone received a message again, from the same unknown number.

Like arsenic, his toxicity slowly killed me. And I welcomed it...

I fucking hate incompetent people. I'm completely disgusted by them. I kick the body aside so I can pass. There's blood on my shoes belonging to my head of security, now dead.

If you asked me he deserved it. I gave him one job, one fucking job and he messed it up.

My phone keeps buzzing incessantly with messages and notifications.

I glance at it and sigh too scared to open it in fear that I won't be able to stop myself from going over to her place and see how she's doing. But mostly because I'll look for every person involved with humiliating her and then kill them.

Death was always the first solution.

I could stop it if I want, one call and I have It all vanished from the internet.

But the sick twisted person I am, I want to punish her. Even though I can't do it physically, the little pain she's getting although not inflicted by me, sadly, does little to soothe the burning anger in me.

I travel for a week and she decides that she wants to give her virginity to that cunt she's been dating.

Technically I let her date him. I can't count how many times I've had to distract myself from killing him.

The number of times I've smashed my phone against the wall when I see the number of texts he sends to her, filthy ones included.

That child thinks he can have what is mine.

I'm not a patient man, at all. But for Nova, I'll be patient. For as long as it takes.

The time is ticking though, there's only so much I can take.

I glance back at the screen on my laptop. The bedroom is empty, I decide not to panic and just check the entire house first. I click on the kitchen camera, it's empty. So are the bathroom, the living room, and the balcony.

She's not home!

"Angelo!" I yell for my new head of security

"Capo"

"Qualcuno dei nostri uomini è a casa sua?"(Are any of our men at her house?) I

"No, capo," he says almost in a whisper

"What the fuck do you mean No!?"

"Before you killed the head of security he was the one in charge of assigning men to her house, capo" his head is bowed

"Figlio di puttana! You're the new head of security for fucks sake! Fuck this shit!" I get up from my seat and tuck my gun into my pants before making my way to the door "Find her, track her phone do it now!"

"Sì capo" he rushes out of my office

I make my way to my car, to already find Angelo waiting for me in the car Good for him

He starts the car and drives to her house. It's not like her parents are ever home, her brother has traveled. She's on her own.

I finally decide to check my phone maybe it can help me with her whereabouts.

Oh, Nova, you're making it hard to stay away from you.

I scroll through all the shit load of notifications she's been receiving, text messages from strange numbers. Notifications on Instagram of people tagging her in memes and embarrassing videos.

She gained over three hundred more followers. She doesn't like attention, at least not this kind.

I scroll through all the texts, checking for anything that wasn't there before and I finally notice an unknown number that's not mine, because this one is saved and she barely talks to anyone apart from her now ex-boyfriend and her brother, which is once in a while.

I click on the name, who the fuck is Jeremiah?

I can't believe I'm doing this lol - Nova

Doing what?!!

"Life is short, take risks" -J

She replies five minutes later, I know her so well to know she was using that time to contemplate it.

"Text me the address of the club I'll Uber there" -N

"Sure thing babe"-J

Babe?

My hand tightens around the device. I give Angelo the address of the club.

Of all clubs, you could have fucking gone to Nova!

"Capo?" Angelo calls out

Like I thought he wants to know if he heard me right "Sì, Angelo go now!"

Club Synergy, is known mainly for its underground sex dungeon that only gives passage to VVIP customers and their plus one. Also, they can pick from the main club if interested.

The majority of the people that go there a lot know what the club is for and today...

Fuck today is a fucking Friday!

They get to pick eight lucky people if they're interested, four males and four females to go to the dungeon for a fun night.

And I can bet my left testicle that figlio di puttana Jeremiah knows what's going on.

The amount of anger radiating from me in waves right now is almost visible. I just want to hit something, and if Angelo doesn't get to that club soon enough it's going to be him "Drive faster Angelo!"

Immediately we arrive at the club, I don't wait long enough until he parks the car, Before I get down and make a dash for the entrance, praying to fuck the security fucks up so I can take out part of this anger on him.

I get to the entrance and lucky for them they let me in. I tell Angelo to go find her and call me immediately if he finds her first.

I've been searching for over thirty minutes, my palm is sweaty, and I'm fucking pissed! because I know she may be selected to go underground.

I don't get nervous!

I try my best not to make my mind wander to that area. I scour the dance floor with my eyes, and there she is.

Fuck she's gorgeous.

She's standing by the toilet door, waiting for her turn in the line.

Who the fuck makes a toilet so far off into a corner, at a club?

I contemplate walking up to her, but I can't help it so I do.

While I'm making my way to her, my phone receives a notification and I assume it's Angelo but I see her take out her phone and scroll through so I check it out.

It's a message from her ex.

I glance up at her and notice the way her hands tighten around her phone, her back is to the line and she's facing me. All it takes is one look up and she'll see me.

I read the text he sent.

"I know your life must be miserable now, I've seen the memes and videos Lmao!" -D

Is he kidding me with this bullshit?!

I raise my head to look at her and I almost panic when I see that she's left but I look around and see her heading to the exit.

I look around for dumbass Jeremiah so I can put a name to the face but nothing. She's leaving alone and she's staggering.

She's drunk. For the first time in her life.

I make sure I'm not far behind her. I quickly text Angelo to bring the car keys immediately.

I drive the car to where she's standing

"Hey, Nova? I'm your Uber" She glares at me and then at her phone, her eyes are barely open and I doubt she can even see anything on her phone clearly

"Uh yeah, I'm her... Nova" she clears her throat before going to open the back seat and then changing her mind to the passenger seat.

She gets in the car and her gown rides up her leg a little bit revealing her thighs. It takes everything in me not to dig my nails into them and leave marks all over them.

"Ready?" I glance at her to see her phone overly close to her eyes. She's looking at it as if she's trying to decipher whatever is on it. She looks at me quickly before nodding

"Words, Tesoro" (darling) I watch as her tongue darts out to lick her lips swiftly

"Yes I'm ready" Her eyes widen and she blinks twice as if trying to sober up quickly

"Good"

"Ughhh I'm so drunk.." She groans and rubs her forehead

"What's the occasion?" I can't help but ask, hoping she'll be able to shed some light on why she went out with some idiot days after she was publicly humiliated.

"Oh nothing much, I just turned nineteen two days ago and also got dumped... yay me"

I desperately wish Angelo was the one driving right now. My hand was itching to go out and touch her, I wanted to dig my fingers into her waist, her thighs. It was fucking hard as hell to be this close to her and not be able to touch her the way I want.

Soon my love, soon.

"Did I mention" she hiccups "that you and your car look nothing like Uber material" Another hiccup

"Really? What is uber material tesoro?" I smirk at her

"Is that an accent?" burp "Sorry. Okay, let me guess the accent. French?" I raise an eyebrow "No, no.... italian!" She exclaims loudly when she realizes that she nailed it

"That obvious?"

"Kinda, plus the thing tes..." She tries to pronounce the tesoro "Never mind you know what I'm talking about, that gave it away"

"Tesoro," I say slowly so she can get the pronunciation

"Yes! What does it mean?" She places her head on the headrest with her eyes closed

We arrive in front of her house and I park "This is your stop."

"Oh look it's my house..." She drawls

The lights are out as usual and her parent's cars are not in the driveway.

Another night alone for her then.

"Hold on uh" she squints at her phone trying to check for my name I guess " fuck it" she exclaims after a failed attempt of reading her screen " Okay here's your money, I can barely read my screen I don't think I know how much I gave you" burp "I just hope It's not a high bill and I don't regret it tomorrow" she yawns when she finishes her rambling

I frown "Keep your money."

"What? why? You were so nice and it's a miracle I didn't throw up in your car with how drunk I am" She places the money on my dashboard and before I could protest she mutters a goodnight and walks to her door.

I watch her walk off, more like stagger into her house, and when I've made sure she's in the house I leave.

I park my car a few houses down from hers and remove my phone from my pocket to see what she's doing.

She's in her room, undressing. I watch how she clumsily takes her gown off and finally succeeds. Left only in her underwear now, she falls face flat on the bed.

I drive back and park close to the house, and walk the rest of the way before going inside and upstairs to her room.

Her hair is covering her face as she snores softly. I seat on the bed and my hand makes its way to her face and I brush her hair away from her face. I watch the way her lips form a soft pout and she scratches her nose before adjusting herself on the bed.

I smile at her. I look around her room and I frown when I see her window open.

Good thing I killed her peeping Tom of a neighbor before traveling.

Nova

He did not make love feel easy..

"Oh God, what is that noise.." I groan and place my pillow over my ears, but that doesn't seem to make the infuriating noise stop. I can still hear it! "Mum! Turn it off please!" God even my voice hurts to listen to.

I open my eyes gently trying to take in my surroundings, oh good I'm half naked.

I'm never taking alcohol again.

I lie with my back on the bed staring at the ceiling. Moving my hands around I search for my phone and turn to my side to face my nightstand.

There's aspirin and a cup of water on it.

I know very well my parents don't care enough to do this for me.

"Oh, my God!" My eyes widen in realization and happiness. I get up from my bed and quickly put on the first shirt and joggers I could find before I run out the door. Ignoring my throbbing head, I ran to my brother's room.

I'm hit with disappointment after I push his door open only to find his room empty, just the way it has been since he left.

"Oh" I sigh loudly as I fall with a thud on his bed.

I'm tired, I'm fucking tired! I'm all alone in this house, literally. I have two parents that live with me but are never here. My brother has been gone for almost five years with the promise of "I'll come back"

My parents are only focused on money even with all they have, instead of just paying attention for once! To their nineteen-year-old daughter.

They didn't even remember my birthday. I scoff

God, why am I thinking and crying so fucking much! I hate alcohol!

I get up and leave the room to head to mine. I open the door and see my dad coming out of his room.

"Oh hey Nova, I'm sure your mum forgot to tell you, the Elrods are coming over for dinner." He smiled widely "The dad and I hit this huge deal at work and....anyway we decided to celebrate over dinner" his smile widened with pride

What!

"Dad... Deshawn and I broke up. I'm not going to be comfortable with him around, not to talk of his entire family here" I crossed my arms over my chest

He looked down at his phone typing on it "Oh sorry" He raised his head to look at me "don't worry I'm sure it's just like any young love feud, y'all gonna get over it" he smiled patting my head

My hands fall to my side "Wha-what? I'm telling you I broke up with him and you're saying that? Dad, he humiliated me in front of a lot of people...." I run my hands across my face in frustration

He laughs "Oh baby, that just shows he loves you don't worry I'm sure you guys will work it out tonight" he smiles and walks away

Oh my God...

I go into my room and lock the doors behind me before grabbing the aspirin and water completely forgetting that I was worried about who placed them there.

"God I hate my life!" I exclaim out loud, to myself.

The will to cry and scream is so strong, but they don't deserve it not at all

I can't wait to leave this fucking place, this house, this town just leave everything and disappear, I have nothing here anyway.

Nothing to lose.

I look around and pick my phone up. No calls or texts from Jeremiah.

What did you expect you're not even friends...

True. We met on a school group chat.

He sent a broadcast message, I guess my number appeared there mistakenly because he didn't have an idea who I was, no one does.

Well, they do now, after my humiliation party.

I check out the rest of my notifications and see one from my uber app. How I got home last night is extremely blurry. I remember paying the uber guy and him rejecting it... I can't make out the rest, it's all kinda scrambled.

So this is what alcohol does to people.

I click on the uber notifications and I'm surprised when it reads that my ride was canceled.

I sit up on my bed "what do you mean canceled, I got in the uber" I click on the driver's profile, his name is Tyler.

I don't remember anything from last night concerning his name.

His profile picture is what takes me aback... Why does Tyler from last night not look like his uber profile?