His Secret Heir, His Deepest Regret

JULIA

I stood there, staring at the two pink lines on the pregnancy test. My hands shook so badly that I almost dropped it.

"Goodness," I muttered, massaging the bridge of my nose.

I knew I had been feeling off lately. The dizziness, the nausea-it all made sense now.

I glanced at the clock and sighed. Evan would be home soon. My heart raced at the thought.

Would he be happy?

I bit my lip, trying to swallow down the nerves bubbling up inside me.

"There's no need to feel this way, Julia," I muttered, smiling at my reflection in the mirror.

Evan loved me. He'd called me the greatest gift in his life more times than I could count! He'd always chosen me, even when girls with prettier faces and wealthier families tried to steal his attention. He never even glanced at them!

However, there was still a nagging doubt that made my fingers curl tighter around the pregnancy test.

Evander Cassiel Astor-the heir to Astor Empires and my boyfriend of four years.

We'd been together since our freshman year of high school. We were freshmen in college now, and even before we started dating, we'd been best friends. We knew each other better than anyone else.

But then I thought about the last few weeks.

He had definitely been more distant and colder than usual.

It started right after the freshman welcoming party. I remembered that night clearly. Evan hadn't come because he had some company event-another step in his training as the future CEO. His dad had always been strict about that, pushing him harder than anyone else.

I'd told myself that was why he'd been acting off lately. He was just stressed and overwhelmed with everything expected of him. It wasn't about us.

It couldn't be-even if something strange happened at the party.

I tried to take a deep breath, but it came out shaky.

The last time we'd been together, really together, was a month ago.

It was right before that party. We'd spent the night at his apartment, just the two of us. I could still remember the way he looked at me, the softness in his eyes as he ran his fingers through my hair. That was the last time we made love. The last time he'd kissed me like I was the only girl in the world.

He'd been different since then.

So now, I couldn't help but wonder if there was something more to it. I shook my head, clearing the thoughts away.

This was Evan. My Evan. He loved me, and he'd be happy. We'd figure it out together.

The front door opened, and I jumped, quickly shoving the pregnancy test in my back pocket.

I heard his footsteps before I saw him. He appeared a moment later, looking more worn out than I'd ever seen him. His usually neatly styled black hair was a mess, and the dark circles under his eyes made him look older than nineteen.

"Hey," I said, forcing a smile as I moved toward him. "You're home. I made dinner."

He glanced at me, barely acknowledging my words. "I already ate," he said flatly, rubbing his temples like he had a headache.

"Oh," I said, my voice small. "Then, I-I have something to tell you."

Evan's eyes flickered up to meet mine. "Is it important?" he asked, sounding almost annoyed.

"Well, I have something to tell you, too," he said, cutting through my thoughts.

I blinked, surprised. "That's great," I said, my smile widening a bit. It had been so long since we'd had a normal, casual conversation. Maybe this was a good sign. Maybe things were going back to the way they used to be.

I reached into my back pocket with a small smile.

"I want to go first-"

"We should break up."

His words hit me like a punch to the stomach, knocking the air out of my lungs. I froze, staring at him, convinced I must have heard him wrong.

"What?" I whispered, my voice barely audible.

Evan's expression didn't change. He looked tired and bored-like he was saying something as simple as the weather being cloudy.

"We should break up," he repeated.

I felt like the ground had been ripped out from under me. Everything I'd been holding onto, every bit of hope and certainty, crumbled away.

I felt the outline of the pregnancy test with my fingers, but I didn't have the strength to bring it out and show it to him.

"Julia?" Evan's voice cut through the fog in my mind. "Did you hear me?"

I looked up at him, my eyes wide and my heart hammering in my chest. "Why?" was all I managed to say.

He ran a hand through his hair, sighing and acting like our conversation was an inconvenience.

"I've been thinking about it for a while," he said. "We've been together for so long, and I just...I need space. I need to focus on my future and the company. There's too much pressure. I can't do this anymore. And you know what happened at the party," he continued.

"I can't look at you that way anymore. I'm sorry."

Julia frowned. "The party again? What even happened? Why is nobody telling me?"

Evan scoffed and shook his head. "See? You don't even know. Just-I don't want anything to do with you anymore, alright? I'll give you some time to pack your things. I'll head out for a while."

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out.

How could he say this? How could he look at me and say these things so calmly?

"But I...I love you," I managed to choke out, tears welling up in my eyes.

Evan's face softened for a moment, but it was gone almost as quickly as it appeared. He took a step back, putting more distance between us. "I'm sorry, Julia," he said, but his voice was hollow.

"I don't love you anymore."

I watched him turn away, heading toward the door. My legs felt like they were glued to the floor, my whole body numb.

The pregnancy test still lay there, forgotten in my pocket. He didn't see it. He didn't know.

And now he never would.

The door clicked shut behind him, and I sank to my knees, staring at the ground with tears streaming down my face.

This was supposed to be the start of something beautiful.

Instead, it was the moment everything fell apart.

JULIA

"Julia, wake up!"

Someone violently shook my shoulders, causing my eyes to snap open. I was breathless as I faced my best friend, Sarah, who was looking at me with annoyance.

"Finally," she grumbled. "It's so hard to wake you up."

I clicked my tongue and shook my head. "Do you have to wake me up so vigorously? I thought I was in real danger for a second!"

"You might as well be," Sarah said with a smile. "I've been trying to wake you up for ten minutes. Ten whole minutes! Are you dreaming about your first and greatest love again?"

My cheeks instantly warmed up, and although I tried to deny it, Sarah had already caught on.

She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. "I knew it," she said. "You're still dreaming about him, huh?"

"I'm not!" I denied. "I'm just-I was dreaming about...the end of the world!"

"Well, when he left you, you did say that was the end of the world."

"Sarah!" I exclaimed. "You're rubbing salt on my wound."

"Oh, come on. You'll cope. He already left you with a child! What could be worse?"

I sighed and shook my head.

"Anyway, it's whatever," Sarah added. "At least you aren't moaning his name this time."

My eyes widened comically, and I stood to cover her mouth.

"Shut up! I do not moan his name," I defended myself. "You're making up stories again!"

Sarah removed my hand from her lips and smirked. "You say that, but why did I walk in on you saying 'Evan...Evan, please!'" she fake moaned, causing me to shriek and cover my ears.

"Sarah!" I exclaimed. "Please never do that again."

She burst into laughter while holding onto her stomach.

"And please," I added. "Don't call him that name," I muttered.

She stopped laughing, but the amusement never left her eyes. "Ah, right," she said. "I nearly forgot that it's only you who called him 'Evan.' It's 'Anders' for most people, huh?"

I pursed my lips and didn't say anything.

Sarah sighed and shook his head. "You say you don't care about him anymore, but it still shows," she muttered. "You even named your son after him!"

"I did not," I tried to deny. However, it was honestly obvious.

Sarah smirked, not believing a word I was saying. "Well, get ready now. Your son even woke up earlier than you. He's eating breakfast now."

I smiled gratefully, scratching the back of my neck. "Thanks, Sarah. What would I ever do without you?"

"Of course," Sarah smiled. "I'm the best in the world!"

I playfully rolled my eyes before going to the bathroom to get ready.

It was a monumental day.

It was going to be our new beginning.

As I went out of the bathroom, feeling the cool air against my skin, I glanced at the clock. I sighed in relief when I saw there was still some time.

With that, I changed into my clothes and looked at my reflection. A small smile made its way to my lips as I observed my face.

"You look better," I muttered, feeling slightly proud.

Then, I went out of the room and trudged to the kitchen, finding the love of my life sitting on the table.

"Andy!" I exclaimed, causing the young boy to turn to me with wide and excited eyes.

"Mommy!" he said, about to stand, but I shook my head.

"Finish your food, bub," I fondly smiled. "Then, go and brush your teeth. We'll be out in a few minutes."

Andy nodded. "Okay, Mommy!"

With that, Andy continued eating while glancing at the television from time to time.

After a while, he got up from the table, went to the sink using the stepper, and rinsed out his bowl. Then, he went back to his room to brush his teeth.

Sarah let out a deep breath as the door closed behind Andy.

"I swear-your son scares me," she said, shivering exaggeratedly.

I slapped her shoulder. "What are you talking about? Andy is the sweetest, smartest boy in the entire world!"

"Exactly!" Sarah exclaimed. "He's too perfect. He doesn't cry. I remember-the moment he came out of your birth canal, he didn't even cry, so the doctors thought he was dead!"

"How do you even know that?" I frowned. "And please never say 'birth canal' ever again."

"Oh, I slept with his doctor," Sarah nonchalantly replied, to which I shook my head.

"Anyway, he's a kid! He should complain. He should ask for things. However, he's always thankful. He doesn't complain when he doesn't like the food. He never asks for take-out! Heck, he even brushes his own hair and picks out his own clothes!"

"He's five, Sarah," I explained. "He's not a toddler anymore. However, you're right," I sighed. "He really does seem older than his age. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

"Me too," Sarah muttered. "Should I birth a child to see if this is normal for children?"

I chuckled loudly. Sarah never failed to make me laugh.

"You can't even commit to one person. How can you have a child?"

Sarah shrugged. "You're right. Andy is already enough."

I hummed and took a bite of the sandwich Sarah had prepared earlier this morning.

"Anyway, are you excited?" she asked.

My smile widened as I nodded.

"Of course," I responded. "It's been a while since I've wanted to do this."

"Well, to be fair, I've been trying to convince you for a while now," Sarah suggested. "It's been long overdue for you to go back to school."

"You know I can't do that," I said. "I need to be with Andy for every milestone. It already hurts knowing I'm the only parent who could attend his events."

"I get where you're coming from," Sarah sighed. "Anyway, at least now, the two of you would be attending school together. Your parents also started accepting him, and your mom's willing to pick him up when you can't."

I nodded with a smile. "Yeah," I muttered. "Things are finally looking up for once."

"Hey, say what," Sarah suddenly said, capturing my attention. "What if he suddenly comes back?"

"Who?" I asked.

"Evander, of course."

JULIA

I paused at the thought of Evan coming back. Have I thought about it? Of course, I have. However, it was something I felt was impossible.

Yet, here I was now-back to the city where we first met.

The chances of seeing him had increased, and I didn't know how to feel about it.

After I found out I was pregnant, I told my parents right away. It was obvious that they couldn't accept it at all. Their only daughter getting pregnant at a very young age wasn't a part of their plans. And when I told them that Evan couldn't seem to accept the child, they became even angrier.

They had known Evan since he was young. Well, we have been best friends since we were little because my parents worked for his family-helpers of some sort. Our relationship wasn't really perceived well in the Astor family.

I could tell that they respected Evan's decision to date their helper's daughter. However, at the same time, I could also tell that they wanted someone better for him. So, as soon as I was out of the picture, my parents saw that as a sign that they weren't welcome anymore too.

I lost a lot that day-and so I moved in with Sarah and her family in the suburbs. It was a humble home, yet they accepted me. It was them that I raised Andy with. I felt indebted to them, of course. So, I took up every job that I could while taking care of Andy.

It was one of the darkest times of my life. Yet, having Andy made it all better.

I also continued my studies through online modalities by the time Andy turned two. This year, Sarah was offered a position in a company in the city, so I decided to move in with her. And since Andy was already five, I reckoned it was a good idea for him to go to school.

And with that came the decision for me to go back to school, too. I was in my last year, and I decided to continue it in my past university.

"Earth to Julia!"

That snapped me out of my thoughts, and I was met with Sarah's face right up mine.

I jumped back in horror.

"Geez," she muttered. "Is my face that scary?"

I sighed and placed my hand over my heart.

"Anyway, it was a test question!" she exclaimed, raising her chin. "And you failed miserably!"

"You were thinking about him again, right?" she said, wiggling her eyebrows.

I pursed my lips and shook my head.

"Oh, come on. You have this weird look in your eyes whenever you think about him."

"What kind of weird look?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"That lovestruck look," Sarah said. "However, there's a tinge of sadness to it. Ah, I can't explain. Yet, it's very distinct-that's what I can tell you."

"It's been six years now, Julia," she continued, her voice softer this time. She held onto my hands and gave them a light squeeze. "Don't you think it's time to move on?"

"I have moved on," I said in a firm tone. "I've lived these six years without him. I'm capable of living only with Andy."

"Then, why is it that you don't want to go on blind dates?" Sarah exclaimed. "You're extremely pretty! You have a hot body, and you have a personality that's slightly less crazy than mine–which means that you're easy to get along with!"

I rolled my eyes and drank the rest of the tea in my cup. "It's not that simple, Sarah. I have to take care of Andy."

She rolled her eyes. "For all I know, you're really still stuck on Evander. No offense, but from the very start, you guys didn't suit each other."

I frowned, crossing my arms in front of my chest. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, you're Julia Johnson," she started off. "And he's Evander Cassiel Astor. Even your names don't match!"

"Hey, my name's pretty!" I defended.

"It is," she said. "Pretty common! Even your last name is the second most common last name in the entire country."

"Okay, Sarah Smith," I deadpanned, stating her extremely common name, too.

She pursed her lips. "Alright, you got me there! Anyway, you suit someone who works a 9 to 5, is confident in his work, and does not have generational wealth! I have someone like that in my office. Want me to set you up?"

I clicked my tongue and shook my head. "Stop it with the blind dates. The last time you set me up on one, he made me listen to his very loud rap mixtape."

"Well, was it good?" Sarah muttered.

I chuckled and shook my head. "It was not!"

"This guy is different!" she exclaimed. "He's good-looking, too. I think you'll really fit each other well."

"Drop it, Sarah," I said in a serious tone, so she sighed and nodded.

Just in time, Andy came out from his room, looking all cute and dapper.

"There's my prince," I smiled, walking over to him. "Are you ready to go now?"

Andy nodded. "Yes, Mommy."

"Let's go," I said and led him to Sarah's car. It was a beat-up Toyota Corolla, but it took us to places, so we couldn't really complain.

We first arrived at the kindergarten where Andy would be studying. It was a small school that had affordable tuition. Still, it was the best place I could find within my budget range.

"Are you ready for your first day, bub?" I asked with a fond look.

Andy smiled up at me and nodded. "Hmm," he hummed. "I'll be a good boy, mommy."

"That's my son," I smiled. "I'll pick you up later because I only have an orientation. Wait for me, okay?"

He nodded without any complaints and went to the classroom by himself.

As soon as he was gone, Sarah sighed. "I told you-that kid is way too good. He's a genius, too! He helped me with the pronunciation of a word the other day."

I sighed and shook my head. "I don't even want to ask what word that is."

"So, to your school now?" she asked.

I smiled nervously before nodding. I stared out of the window with a small sigh.

"It's been a while, huh?" Sarah started off.

"Yeah," I muttered. "It feels surreal. I never thought I could go back."

"Well, it's long overdue," she said. "You know-the one person I remember in this school is the girl that used to run after Evander. She was the most persistent one out of the bunch. That little bitch."

"Hey," I chuckled. "She was pretty nice. Although, she was persistent. However, she backed off when I told her that we'd been dating long-term."

"What was her name again?" Sarah asked, tilting her head to the side. "I remember it sounding very fancy-like Evander's name."

"Heather," I answered.

"Right!" she exclaimed. "She even has a perfectly unique name. Oh, the world is so unfair."

"Heather Elodi Maison."