His Lustful Desires

A deep painful grunt sounded from the man who kept thrashing about in his sleep. His mind, soul, and body were lost to the memory that ate him alive and he had no way of stopping it. No, he didn't even want it to stop since that was the only way he could punish himself for the cruel fate he had subjected the woman he claimed to love to.

"Will you stop screaming, Rio? The baby is getting frightened." The woman pleaded with him vehemently.

"At this moment, I don't really care, Sandra!" Rio screamed at her again, doing exactly what she begged him not to do. He took his clothes and went out the door despite the many pleas of the woman.

"No! No!! You can't go, Rio!!! Turn back!!!!" Rio Allen screamed in his sleep as he continued to trash about and sob like a little child whose candy got lost.

The memory fast-forward itself and decided to settle at the turn when he had found his life shattered into a billion pieces before his eyes. That awful moment when she had died.

"Don't die!" He screamed with agony, holding out his hands to stop the disappearing image of the redhead woman who tormented his dreams every night. "Don't die on me." He said softly as he flickered his eyelids open.

He grunted as he got up from his bed, clad in only his underwear. His upper body was naked and his taunt muscles made him look like a bouncer at first sight. He picked up a towel and stood in front of a mirror, wiping away the beads of sweat from his face.

An alarm from his phone rang and he picked it up hastily.

Death anniversary. The alarm read and Rio cursed loudly as he sprinted into the bathroom. In five minutes flat, he was out, droplets of water dripping from his freshly washed hair and body.

In another ten minutes, his dark hair was neatly styled. He wore a plain tee and jeans, a dark shade of glass also covered his bright blue eyes. He moved out of the house and into the car. In another fifteen minutes, he was at a cemetery.

He went straight to a burial tomb that had weeds already growing around it. The flowers left there had already withered a long time ago, leaving only the dry stems as a proof of its existence. He bent low and began to weed out the grasses himself after dropping a new bouquet of flowers on the grave.

He couldn't believe that he had forgotten what that day meant in his life. How could he have forgotten the day he had lost the most precious person in his life? The one person that made his life so rosy that even the flowers were jealous?

Or perhaps he had always forgotten about the day on purpose because of how guilty he felt for his part in her death. Sometimes, he wished that he could visit the past and undo the damages his anger and action had done. Perhaps, his woman would still be alive by now.

***************

Anita Dowell fingered her shoulder length red hair as she stared intently at the newspaper in her hands. To anyone else, she was simply reading some news the media had thought was juicy. But to her, the paper in her hands was the ticket to her successful career.

As a 23 years old lady who had studied law at the university, she knew that her parents would start demanding that she show them the firm she was working at. Unknown to them, she had no interest in practicing the career she had chosen.

She wanted to be a best selling author instead.

And she would have if those blind eyes publishers had taken her two finished books to have given her the chance to at least prove that the books had potential. But no, they had the audacity to turn her away without even glancing beyond the first chapters.

She would show everyone of them how foolish the decisions to reject her books were. The paper right on her hands was the ticket to getting her dream come true.

"Allen Publishing Corporation." She read out loudly and tapped the paper, "Rio Allen, just wait."

She dropped the paper and picked up a blue scarf to tie to her neck. The scarf complimented her hazel eyes and red head perfectly. She whizzed around in front of the mirror as she thought about how shocked the owner of the publishing company would be when he saw her.

She went out the door and got into a taxi. As the car took her to the cemetery where Sarah Allen, Rio's wife, was buried, she thanked her star that she looked exactly like the dead woman whose death anniversary was today.

It all worked well for the plans she had in place. She just had to stage an accidental meeting with the owner of Allen Publishing corporation. She was sure that he would be intrigued by her look and then she could sob into his arms and get a publishing deal from him.

And why? It would be all because she looked exactly like his dead woman.

"We're here, Miss." The driver announced to her a while later.

She got down, paid for the ride, and disappeared to the cemetery. The place gave her hairy feelings but she shrugged it off, knowing that it was a little sacrifice for something that would forever change her life. She let her eyes roam around for the man who was the masterpiece of her plan. The moment she spotted him, she walked straight to where he stood.

Rio patted his cheek when he felt something wet trickle there and realized that he had been sobbing. He cleaned the tears away with the handkerchief he took from his pocket before he bent once again and cleaned the dirty name plate.

Sarah Allen, the name read.

"I can't believe it's been two years since you left me all by myself, Sarah." He finally choked out. "Nothing is the same without you here." He sobbed again.

Anita went straight to the grave beside Rio and began to wail loudly. She didn't know who owned the grave and she didn't care. All she just needed was to catch the publisher's attention.

"How could you leave me alone? How could you abandon me too?" She wailed while beating her chest like her heart was in pain. Her red hair flew around in every direction her head turned to.

"You promised to stay with me. You promised never to leave me even for a second." She sniffed her nose. "Where is the proof of that statement now?" She continued.

As she kept sobbing, she kept peeking to see if her acting seemed genuine enough to catch the attention of the man beside her.

When Rio first heard the loud wailing sound beside him, he ignored the voice since he knew that the person was simply grieving for their lost one just as he was. But when the sound got even louder with each speech, he knew that the person was more in grief than he was for his wife.

He turned his gaze to the person to offer a few words of condolences and he found himself attracted to the flaming red hair that kept bouncing about. When he realized that he was staring at the owner of the hair for longer than it was necessary, he cleared his throat and looked down again.

Anita had nearly rejoiced when the man had stared at her hair for a while, only to be disappointed when he looked away abruptly again. Perhaps she had made a mistake by not showing the man her face? She nearly gave in to the urge but she wanted the plan to look accidental as possible.

"How dare you?! How dare you not stay true to your words?!!" She screamed again, this time, a little too loudly.

Rio had had enough of the loud sound that promised to damage his ear drums if he didn't get away soon, so he stood up to leave the area. As it was, he already spent enough time wallowing in his self-pity and he could continue at home on his own.

As he took three steps away from the woman, he found himself attracted to the red hair once again. Maybe it was because his wife had the same shade of hair color. But more than the hair, he knew that he couldn't just leave the grieving woman alone when he knew how hurtful those emotions could be.

Before he could stop himself, his feet dragged itselves to where she bent, her face hidden from the world. "Are you okay, Miss?" He asked solemnly.

Bingo, her plan finally succeeded and that too, with less effort than she thought it would take, Anita thought as she raised her head to face the man.

"Sarah?" Rio said and stumbled back out of fear.

Rio stared in shock at the woman who had returned to her mourning for her lost one. It couldn't be, he thought to himself. Or could it?

"Sa-Sarah?" He called out slowly.

Anita smiled to herself before she turned around, "Who are you calling Sarah? My name is Anita," she informed the man.

Rio couldn't believe his ears and eyes. He was sure that one of them was deceiving him. He stared deeply into the woman's eyes and that was when he saw that she had hazel eyes instead of the gray one his Sarah spotted.

"I'm sorry, Miss. I must have mistaken you for somebody else." He apologized but the woman didn't bother to respond and only just continued with her sobbing which had reduced and the occasional sniffing she did. "Stop crying, Miss." He consoled her.

"How could I not? I have no one else in the world now..." She stole a quick glance at the name and age of her supposed family, "...My uncle is dead." She finished, refusing to wish her father even a fake death.

Rio crouched low to her, "Believe me when I say I know just how you feel but we still have to keep living on. Not for ourselves, but for them," he spread his hands to the two graves.

She looked at him with puppy eyes, "But–" She started.

"–No buts," Rio interrupted her smoothly. "I'll tell you what? I'll take you to a coffee cafe I know around here so you can feel better." He suggested.

"Can you?" She asked, trying to sound unsure.

"I can and I will," Rio shrugged. He would probably regret it but he wanted to know more about the woman who looked so much like his dead wife. "Up you go." He instructed her and got up too.

Anita did as he asked, happy that her plan was taking the direction she wanted it to take.

In fifteen minutes, he drove them into a plain-looking cafe house as he had promised. For somebody who was wealthy, Anita couldn't figure out why he would dress and act like a pauper.

"Mr. Rio. Good morning and welcome." A woman with salt and pepper hair greeted.

"Oh, Grace. Drop the formalities, will you?" Rio waved his hand dismissively. "Just get us my regular coffee, please." He turned to Anita, "Let's go sit over there," he pointed to an empty spot at a corner which offered seclusion.

The two walked to the place without a word and sat down. Anita noticed how Rio moved his chair away from her as far away as possible but she didn't mind. All she wanted was just to get her hands on a publishing deal.

Rio looked at the woman once again, still amazed by how much resemblance she shared with Sarah. He wanted to ask her if she did surgery or if she was related to his wife's family but he held his tongue.

"So, who were you visiting at the cemetery?" Anita asked when she got uncomfortable with the silence.

"A family member," Rio answered, effectively cutting off that part of the discussion. "So, tell me about you. That is if you don't mind."

She saw the golden opportunity she had been looking for landed on her lap, "Like I said before, name is Anita. A lawyer fresh out of university but I don't want to practice law." When she saw Rio arched a brown at her, she quickly added, "I want to be a writer instead."

"Oh. So, you love books?" She nodded. "Have you read any book by Gena Showalter then? He asked, knowing that the woman was an author based on otherworlder books and not many people are a fan of that.

"Of course. I especially love her Lord of the underworld and original heartbreaker series." She said with genuine enthusiasm.

"Oh, well. Someone truly is a book ripper," Rio said with a laugh.

Time for her A-game, "Not just a lover of books but I also write some. As a matter of fact, I have two finished novels on my laptop." She informed him.

Rio's interest sparked up, "Can I see?" He asked her.

Way to go, babe. Anita patted herself inwardly.

"I only have sample chapters on my phone now," she said and brought out her phone. "Here," she handed the phone to him.

As he kept scrolling through, Anita prayed silently in her heart that he would open up and tell her he was a publisher and how interested he was in publishing her book.

"Nice concept," he told her as he returned the phone. "But it still needs a lot of work if you want it to get a publishing deal," he finished.

Her smile fell instantly. "Oh." She said simply, knowing that her plan was for naught then.

"Let me show you," Rio told her and dragged his seat closer to her.

As he kept scrolling and talking to her about the flaws in the book, Anita did her best to ignore how warm his breath on her hands felt. She also ignored the husky tone that came out of her each time she replied to his questions.

"Work on those and I'm sure that every publishing company will be after the book." He told her and returned back to his seat.

"Thanks..." She tried to say her phone rang and she picked it up, seeing that it was from one of the publishing companies she had submitted her sample to. "Hello?" She said. "Yes." A pause. "Now?" Another pause. "Okay." She finished and hung up.

"I'm really sorry but I have to go now." She told the man with her. "The call was from a publishing company." She explained and got up from the seat. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr...?"

"Rio. Name's Rio." He excluded his last name.

"Got to run now," Anita said.

"Wait," Rio told her. "If you want, I can help you point out all the errors in your books." He offered.

"Everything?" Even she was surprised.

"Yes."

"Great. We'll meet here tomorrow by 12 then." She told him. "Bye." And she was out of the cafe in recorded time.

Rio got up from his seat too. He knew that what he did was selfishness but he had realized just how much the woman kept out the thought of his dead wife from his head when he was with her. Hence, his reason for telling her he was ready to help her. In actual fact, he wanted to use her to keep his sanity.

"Your coffees," Grace said, finally appearing.

"No need for it any more." He brought out a note from his pocket and handed it to her. "For the coffee."

"Sorry it was late. We ran out of your favorite." The woman apologized.

Rio waved the apology away and moved to the door. Just as he was about to step out, a woman crossed his path and refused to move.

"Excuse me, Miss." He told her politely but she still didn't move.

"You don't remember me?" The woman said in a small voice that was melodious to the ears.

Rio took a quick survey of her entire body, from her long black hair to her brown eyes to her model figure body but he still couldn't tell if they had ever crossed paths before.

"No, I don't." He finally voiced out.

Her eyes fell, "I'm disappointed by those words, Rio Allen. Do you have any idea how hard it took for me to find you again?" She pouted.

Hearing her call his name, he was sure that she did know him well. But it also made him feel that she might be one of those who wanted to use his connection and wealth to climb up the success ladder. He hated them and he never entertained them in his life anymore once he discovered them.

"Excuse me." He moved his body around the woman and went out the door.

"Hey?" Mimie screamed at him but he didn't even pretend to hear her, talk more, acknowledging her voice.

She shrugged when she saw that all eyes in the cafe had focused on her. She didn't care about what they thought of her in any case. She just wanted Rio to acknowledge her and she would do anything to make that come to pass.

She had lost her opportunity to be his woman three years ago instead of that woman he got married to. Now that fate has smiled on her and she was back to Los Angeles and she had discovered that his wife was dead, she wouldn't lose her second chance.

She didn't care how long it took or even how she made him hers, all she just knew was the fact that he would belong to her sooner or later. This time, if there was any woman who tried to snatch the man from her, she would destroy her and make sure she never lived to tell the tale.

"Rio is mine. Mine alone." She mumbled to herself and walked out of the place.

Anita danced round and round her tiny apartment, her heart bubbling with joy at the success of the first step of her plans. True, she hadn't gotten a publishing deal yet but she knew that with the way the day had ended with Rio, she was on her way to getting one pretty soon. The other company has also rejected her work but she didn't mind one tiny bit, knowing that she already had the big fish in her net.

"Anita Dowell. USA today bestselling author." The smile on her face was huge as she envisioned the reality of her dream. "Oh, I can't wait until then!" She screamed and whirled around the room, whistling the tone from West life album 'I have a dream'.

"And can you tell me why you keep acting like you won the award for the best lawyer of all time?"

Anita turned around in shock as she heard a voice say behind her. When she saw that it was only her roommate, Gracy, she relaxed her nerves.

"Won't you answer me?" Gracy asked again when her roommate resumed her joyful dancing steps.

"Very soon, your best friend is going to be the next best selling author of the USA," Anita finally answered.

Gracy squeaked in joy for her friend, her blonde hair tossing around as she moved. "Your parents finally gave in?!" She shouted in excitement.

"Of course not. I told you I won't tell them until I have my books in paperbacks."

"Then, you've managed to secure a publishing deal?" Gracy asked her friend again.

"Not yet," Anita corrected. When she saw her friend's expression fall, she added, "But I will very soon. Don't doubt that."

Gracy stopped wadding around like a fool and sat down on the only two-sitter in the room.

"How the fuck are you going to secure one? The way you keep dancing around, one would even think that you signed the contracts already." She hissed at the redhead.

"Just watch, Gracy. Just you watch," Anita said. She still didn't stop her jubilation.

Just as she suggested, her roomie kept watching her with amusement, wondering what had suddenly gotten into her.

***********

Two years old Riley sat on a chair, staring intently at the cake in front of her like she expected it to grow two or more horns.

"Baby, let's just wish you a happy birthday and let you cut the cake, okay?" Her grandmother, Stacie suggested, wrapping her arms around the little girl.

The girl shook her head violently, "No. We have to wait for daddy." She insisted, just as she has kept doing since she woke up that morning excited it was her birthday. She had gone to look for her father and had returned disappointed when she saw the man's empty room.

"Daddy might be working right now." Grandma tried to persuade her again.

"Daddy won't miss my birthday." The girl insisted. She looked up at that moment and saw her father walking into the room. "Daddy!" She screamed in joy.

"Rio, you're here. Your daughter has been–"

"–Stay away from me!" Rio barked at the little girl who was now hugging him. "Now!!"

The little girl unwrapped her arms from the scary man instantly and moved away at a very long distance. Tears welled up her eyes but her father didn't act like he even saw the emotional tumor he had just sunk his daughter to.

"What's happening here? What's with all the cake and stupid candles?" He asked his mother.

The old woman glared at him, "There is a cake and stupid candles in the house because it's your daughter's birthday." She reminded him.

"Oh. I forgot it was the same day as Sarah's death anniversary." He said nonchalantly.

"Rio! How could you forget your daughter's birthday?" His mother spat at him. "Anyway, she's been waiting for you to return so that she can cut the cake." She informed him.

"I'm too tired for such a thing, mum." With that, he disappeared into his room.

Stacie turned a sorrowful look at her granddaughter who was wailing silently, "Daddy is just tired is all. Let's cut the cake together and I'll take some to him so he can cheer up. What do you say?"

"Okay, granny," Riley answered amidst tears.

"Now wipe your eyes clean, love."

The two of them sang the birthday song and they both cut the cake. Once Stacie made sure that her granddaughter was no longer sad, she took a piece of the cake and went to meet her son. She knew that she was going to meet a thick wall when she approached her son but that was exactly what she wanted.

She was tired of the way he acted ever since the death of his wife. She knew that he was doing it out of guilt over the death of his wife but enough was enough. She had to make him see reasons to forget the past and move on with his life.

In preparation for that, she had arranged a few blind dates for him to join the dating class once again. The only problem she had to counter was making him see the reason for going out with the girls. But stubborn as her only son was, she was sure that she would have to try two hundred times over.

"Rio? Can I come in?" She asked him, knocking on his door softly.

Rio grunted at the voice of his mother that he heard. He knew that even if he declined the request, his mother would simply push her way in.

TV

"Do I have any other choice?" She bellowed at her.

Stacie pushed the door open, "No, you don't." She laughed as she got into the room. "Here. I brought you cake." She dropped the cake beside him on the floor.

"I don't want it."

"Stop it, Rio. It is enough already." She reprimanded.

"Stop what?" He feigned ignorance.

She decided to take the bill by the horn, "When are you bringing home another woman for me?" When she saw his somewhat surprised expression, she frowned. "Don't tell me you don't intend to marry again."

Rio took three deep calming breaths before he responded, "Glad you know it."

"Now look here young man. I will not tolerate anything like that from you."

"Mum, don't start."

"I'm fed up with you and your characters." She complained to him. "Look at how you even ignore your own daughter."

"Only because she reminds me of Sarah a lot. I don't want any reminder of who she was and that is exactly what that girl does."

"Will you even listen to yourself? Will you? Stop being so pathetic, will you?" His mother screamed a little loudly at him.

"I'm tired today, mum." He tried to discourage his mum.

"I know you are. Which is why I've set you up for a date tomorrow itself. That should refreshen you." The older woman said.

"What?!" Rio screamed but his mother didn't bother to answer him. The woman got up and went out the door before he could recollect himself. "Mum! You dare not!!" But he was only talking to an empty doorway.

**************

"Nice job today, everybody." The music director commended everyone in the room. "Especially you, Mimie."

Mimie beamed at the appraisal. After all, she thrived at the compliments she received from people after she had finished performing. She hated herself whenever someone else thrived or got the better praise than her at any events.

Ever since Rio had complimented her for being the best at what she did back then at the concert where she had berm singing along with her musical idol, Rihanna, she had decided that she was going to marry him since he could recognize a raw talent when he saw one.

The two of them had kept in touch after that. While she had been summoning her courage to come clean of her feelings for him, his wedding had been printed on every newspaper she knew of.

To say she had been devastated would be an understatement for her feelings back then.

"Mimie!"

A scream brought her back to the present and she reprimanded herself silently for losing her focus.

"Why did you scream my name?" She asked the drummer boy who called her.

"I signed you up for a blind date–"

"–You did what?!" She screeched.

"Let me finish,will you?" The 17 year old guy reprimanded him like she was a baby. "Anyway, you got merged into a handsome dude." He looked at the screen of his phone. "His name is Rio." He finished.

The moment she heard the name, her deja vu kicked up like the name could only belong to one man. Her man. Now, she was intrigued and ready to see if she was right about her assumption.

"When is the date?"

"You're interested?" The guy asked, clearly surprised.

"Just answer me."

"Tomorrow."

Tomorrow? She thought with a smile. She might be wrong about who she thought it was but her mind kept telling her that she was right and she was ready to take the risk.

If he really was the one, she would know that even nature was trying to pitch her together with the billionaire publisher.