His Lavender Love

Ruelle~

Sometimes it leaves me in wonder how I make decisions only to regret over them in silence.

Public statements didn't unnerve me, though they did leave me on edge. The slightest bit of anxiety would sneak in when I'd lose control of my emotions and that small slip was something I did not like.

I had decided to publicly announce the opening of the 63rd branch of Ardor across the continent. If that wasn't enough, I had agreed to give a speech to show how elated I was about the news.

I was more than elated but there was no need for people who would entertain themselves on seeing me stumble on my own two feet know.

"My my, aren't you looking like the perfect catch in the single market?"

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I gave a bored look to my nana who swatted her hand in the air only gushing around me with words of utmost praises and prayers to get rid of any unwanted eyes.

"You say that every time."

To my monotonous words, she kissed my cheeks and patted my back. Her wrinkled hands were anything but frail and the white hair she harbored with pride would let anyone mistake her age for less than 65.

"Because you look like an angel."

I heard a faint snicker from somewhere behind me and glancing back at the mirror, I raised an eyebrow at my assistant who straightened on sensing my gaze and smiled sheepishly.

Angel.

It was a funny word.

If you look good, you're an angel.

But what was good?

That we may never really know.

"Ma'am, the event starts at ten. It'll be better if we leave now."

Giving a nod to Louis, I turned to the side to check myself one last time in the mirror. I did not like being coddled and touched, the reason why I opted to get ready on my own.

Owning a fashion brand with a skyrocketing reputation should surely give away enough of my fashion sense.

The black form-fitting gown made my light dusky skin sparkle, an added benefit of the diamonds embedded on a golden plate on the chest region. The leather belt around my waist divided the material from transparent to the translucent chiffon length of the dress that ended past my feet. A long slit showed a good inch of my left leg till my mid-thigh. Knee-high-heeled black boots balanced the feminine touch with a hint of my usual aura.

Nana had insisted that I put on the diamond studs that true to her words looked good enough. My fingers as usual were adorned with rings and my left wrist was covered with Fossil Jacqueline's latest watch.

I especially liked dressing up- to admire myself.

"Lead the way."

Louis gave an excited nod because, for some reason, such functions were his favorite part of being my secretary. What was so good about being surrounded by biting shadows and two-faced dolls was something I could not comprehend.

Nana walked ahead of me, talking animatedly with Louis who made sure to keep her entertained. A small smile touched my lips seeing their interaction. No matter how the world portrayed my small family circle, it didn't dull the love I have for them.

Nodding at my head of security, Jose, I got in the white-tinted Volvo. Nana got in from the other side while Louis sat in the passenger seat beside Jose.

Louis briefed me about the guests and the approximate paparazzi that were given entry to the venue. My experience with the media has left a mark that strengthened my resolve to keep them at arm's distance.

I respect every profession but when it came to the media, I wasn't ashamed to say that I was biased- all for legitimate reasons.

"Oh.."

The hesitant exclamation made me glance at Louis. His eyes were fixed on the iPad screen and long gone was the excitement. He resembled a nervous deer as he looked my way. Raising a stern eyebrow at him, I watched silently as he chuckled and cleared his throat, murmuring incoherent words to himself and successfully testing my patience.

"Louis."

My words were void of any emotion but he knew well enough what I implied.

"W-well, you see, there's a small mishap."

"Mishap?"

It was Nana who questioned him. My nonchalant gaze turned into narrowed slits when he wouldn't say anything else, simply staring helplessly at the iPad as though asking it to speak on his behalf.

With an irritated breath, I snatched the device from his hand to which he shrieked, caught off-guard by the action.

The screen showed the guests that were invited and with furrowed eyebrows I scrolled down the list, unable to find a fault until a certain name caught my attention.

My grip on the device turned from casual to agitated the more I stared at the name, hoping for it to disappear but it never did. Keeping it on my lap, my eyes found Louis who was now fumbling on his seat and I did not miss the discreet move he made towards the door handle.

"How?"

I saw Nana frowning at the edge in my tone. She took hold of the device to see what was wrong. It wasn't long before I heard her taking a deep breath.

"I-I don't know. I- I swear, I asked Melli-"

"I ordered you to make the list, not anyone else."

His eyes met mine for a split second and they were laden with guilt.

"I-I thought a l-little bit of help-"

"You-"

"Rue."

Taking in a harsh breath, I gave Nana a look which she returned with equal intensity. We shared more than a few traits and anyone who knew us knew well that the feistiness in my blood was a gift from my Nana.

"Louis, it's alright. Mistakes happen."

"It's not alright."

"Behave."

Gritting my teeth, I gave one last glare to my assistant who cowered in his seat, not meeting my eyes or glancing my way again throughout the drive. The hall was forty-five minutes away from the penthouse and when the car finally came to a halt, my previous giddiness to share the news had dissipated, instead, all I felt was unfurling fire pricking my skin.

"M-ma'am.."

The faint voice was accompanied by the opening of the car door by my side. Not sparing Louis a glimpse, I got out and tried my best not to flinch when the numerous snaps sounded from all around along with streams of questions I graciously ignored.

Not stopping to answer the desperate media persons, I stepped into the bustling hallway that at once stopped the minimal chatter and gave me all of its attention.

Numerous pairs of eyes were stuck on me as I walked in, giving a forced smile to anyone who offered me the same.

Ardor was the brand I built from the bottom, from the first top designs launched by the brand to the sales management, I had done it all through a small showroom much to my parent's dismay.

Farrington was a big name in the business world and to think I'd step up to make my own brand was something my parents never thought of. Nonetheless, they have been supportive to a far extent and it should be no surprise that my father was the first investor of Ardor, and seeing him, many followed.

What started as a hobby turned into a full-blown shop in a year. The number of shops kept increasing as time passed by and nearly three years and six months from then, here I was, announcing the 63rd showroom.

"Calm down!"

A smile threatened to spill on my lips at the familiar voice. The previous tension resting heavily on my shoulders lessened minimally the moment I caught sight of my overly excited-looking father and beside him was mama, looking ever so done with her husband.

If anyone caught sight of the Jarred Farrington with such a carefree attitude, they were sure to have a mini-attack. The hazel brown eyes that matched mine brightened considerably and ignoring all that Mama was saying, Dad took long strides toward me before pulling me in a long hug.

"Congratulations, little Rue. I'm so proud of you."

Alongside the genuine words, he kissed the side of my head and something suspicious to overwhelming moisture clouded my eyes for a second. Blinking away the unannounced flow of emotions, I gave a toothy smile to Dad who chuckled patting my head.

"Do remember that you have a mother too."

Peeking over Dad's shoulder, I gave a sheepish smile to my mother. Pulling away from Dad, I embraced Mama who laughed softly, repeating the words Dad had said with an equally proud smile.

Miralle Farrington is a neurosurgeon by profession. Growing up, it was tough adjusting to her busy schedule but when I did give it a thought, I realized just how much it took to balance her professional life with her personal one. She tried to give her family as much time of her day as she could and by the time it was dinner, even as a child I could spot the touches of fatigue showing clearly on her face.

"Oh stop with the melodrama already! We need a touch of the badass CEO the world talks about. Such a disgrace you all are."

Nana's disappointed voice broke the merry circle and Mama hugged her mother, earning a well-deserved smack on her back because she hadn't picked up her calls from two hours back.

"Ma'am..."

Louis's nervous voice sounded to my right and with a sigh, I spared the man from more of my temper even though the brewing anxiousness within my heart was becoming clear second after second.

"Hmm.."

"Shall we?"

He motioned towards the podium. Rubbing a hand down my dress, the smile that was a normal reaction to my family's presence was replaced by one I wore when addressing the business world.

"Shut them up, little Rue."

Dad whispered to me as a way of encouragement and quickly kissing his cheek, I silently beamed at him. The poker face Jarred Farrington was known for was in place as he took a seat at the back with the senior board of directors.

The hall fell silent the moment I tapped twice on the microphone. The voice was dull but not enough to not be heard. Everyone scattered around to take a seat and seeing once most of them were settled comfortably, I let another one of those magazine smiles pull on my lips.

"A Good evening would sound appropriate to start the speech with.

When Ardor was first established, I knew well in advance that the designs would not be disappointing but what did worry me was the extended support that comes from the world beyond. It is astonishing how fast the brand is growing and all the thanks belong to the many workers and helpers at Ardor who strive to get close to perfection with each passing day. It has been an embarking journey and what makes it immensely sweet is the unconditioned love and support."

The foundation of Ardor was not to pocket money since I have enough of it. What really was the idea behind the brand were eyes that love it for its authenticity and beauty and keeping that in mind, each dress was priced at affordable rates. Yes, some dresses came under the label 'ridiculously expensive' but those were the ones studded with the most minute details and hours of hard work from a good number of people.

Ardor didn't put a tag on the dress, rather it put a tag to appreciate the people behind the showpiece.

Designing a dress was not a piece of cake as many would like to believe. Creativity blocks and lack of motivation were too common in the field and there were times when it hindered progress for a long number of days.

But then again, the more time it took to craft a masterpiece, the lesser the chances of any errors.

"Tonight is the celebration of a brand new community added to Ardor. Here's to the 63rd Showroom of beauty right in the middle of Paris. Hope you enjoy the designs just as much as a morning view of the Eiffel Tower."

My words were met with a few chuckles and a loud round of applause. I didn't do well with curt speeches and so, the casualness in my tone was familiar to the world.

Stepping aside from the podium, I stopped for a minute to let the magazines get their best shot. A subtle smile, a neutral expression, and to add more personal touch to it, I gave a flying kiss to the camera, hearing a satisfying click the very moment.

My eyes wandered across the hallway, rejoicing when the people moved around the hall to take a look at the few dresses enclosed in glass pieces. They were the ones that were recently featured in the Paris fashion week and were open for the highest bids.

Satisfied with how the night was progressing, I turned around to go back to my family, barely making a step in the direction when an all too familiar heat touched my skin.

The intensity in it was not subtle, not one bit. It burnt my skin, leaving behind marks that didn't hurt, no, much to my dismay it left me unarmed and tipped the confidence I had been wearing just fine for so long.

Blinking once, I felt my palm coiling in a fist when the intangible caress on my body gilded in ways that flared something akin to anger, and amidst the blazing fire were void pieces- pieces from an untold time.

It was pathetic how my body was all too aware of his presence.

Glancing over my shoulders, my eyes at ones connected with the all too familiar mystic greys. They held no sign of emotion apart from a ring of darkness that surrounded his irises as he stared into my hazel ones for long.

He didn't look away neither did I.

"Here."

I heard the faint voice of Louis and without breaking the heated stare, I took hold of the champagne glass.

Raising it to eye level, I cheered it to him before taking a sip; a slow, sensual gulp. I felt the tick in his jaw even from afar.

Giving him a smile that spoke of nothing apart from everything deranged and lost, I turned my back to him, not letting the burning vehemence affect my stance.

No matter how unfortunate, Azazel Vandeleur was here as a guest and would be treated as such.

Of course, that is, until I stayed true to my ethics.

Ruelle~

Money sure could buy a lot of things but if only it extended the hours until sunrise, giving me a few more hours to sleep in.

Silencing the alarm that was blaring right next to my ears, I rubbed my eyes gently while sitting up with a yawn. Dawn was around the corner and no matter how beautiful the sky looked past the semi-opened windows of my room, in this sleepy state I could barely register my own self.

Begrudgingly getting down from the bed, my eyes caught my reflection in the mirror, and past the sleepiness, I took a minute to appreciate my reflection. I had the habit of sleeping in the exclusive lace lingeries designed by my brand, not just because it was highly comfortable but also because it made me feel pretty.

The blush pink material didn't necessarily cling to my skin. It let me breathe freely. The silk underneath the lace covered the upper chest and was held over my shoulders by thin straps. The material below the chest was sheer lace, showing hints of my toned stomach that I've been working hard to shape into abs for years matched with silk shorts with lace outline on the edge.

It was half past five in the morning- the time when I religiously start my day.

An hour of workout was a must even though during the initial days I could hardly move a muscle after all the exercises, it was a time when I vowed to be serious with myself.

For they don't simply say that if you don't take yourself seriously, no one will.

Sweating and panting as I finished fifty squats, I fell back down on the floor, breathing through my mouth. The sports bra constricted my chest but it wasn't as uncomfortable as the starting days. The small room of the penthouse I had converted to a mini gym served well, an indirect self-appreciation for following a tight schedule for the past 3 years.

Once I felt my breaths gradually turning normal, I took a huge gulp of the cold water, sighing in utmost relief when it parched my thirst. Pushing away the baby hairs sticking to my forehead, I scrunched my nose at the amount of sweat as I walked down the hall toward my room.

The house was empty of any soul apart from me. The house help should be here around half an hour from now. There were guards stationed outside the penthouse- all for safety purposes and to ease my parent's worry.

Parent as in my father.

Throwing the gym wear in the cloth basket, I got in the shower for a warm relaxing bath before beginning the hectic part of the day. There were times when I let the inner child in me reflect on the surface and this was one of those times.

Holding the lavender-scented bath bomb, I saw the ripples in the water when it dropped with a drowning sound in the bathtub. Within seconds, the water was filled with foam and the alluring scent of lavender. Dropping the robe, I got in the tub, submerged until the water was up to my neck, and closed my eyes, feeling the water on my skin.

I'd have fallen asleep if not for my brain asking me to open my eyes out of the blue.

Once the feeling of relaxation engulfed my muscles, I got out of the bathtub, draining the excess water. I wrapped the robe around myself once again.

Wet hair was something I didn't like trading with and without wasting a second, I tied it around a towel, sighing in relief when the annoying strands wouldn't bother me anymore.

With that, I made my way to the kitchen to prepare a good morning's breakfast. Food was something that my mother thought of as an intimate connection. The reason why I made my meals on my own at home unless I couldn't.

Quick pancakes, a peach smoothie, and a side bowl of chopped strawberries and round cherries were what I ate. By the time I kept away the dirty dishes, I touched the rogue strand peeking from the towel and hummed feeling that it had almost dried but not completely.

Quickly blow drying them- even though mama would throw a fit, I tied them in a braided ponytail and picked the outfit for the day. Opting for a beige-colored chenille full-sleeved top, and tailored black leather pants, I chose a two-layered gold pendant with matching studs, a black wristwatch, and my usual rings for accessories. Keeping the makeup on the minimal side apart from the reverse cat eye and a good coat of nude matte lipstick, I looked pleasing enough to my eyes.

Once done with my look, I did a once over in the mirror and smiled in satisfaction. Picking up the small handbag and my phone, I unlocked it to reply to the few messages and sent a habitual voice note to mama and dad, informing them that I was leaving for work.

It was a habit I had developed after shifting out of the Farrington mansion and it did a great job at easing my parents' queries.

The elevator opened and soon, I found myself on my way to Ardor headquarters. I spent half an hour of the drive checking the official site of Ardor.

I thanked Jose for opening the car door in response to which I didn't miss the eye roll he sent my way.

Habits don't change easily and being polite to people who deserve it causes no harm to anyone.

"Morning!"

The chirpy voice of Louis was enough for me to raise an eyebrow. Usually, he'd be sulking while reciting my schedule for the day but today he looked far too energetic and lively.

"Anything special today?"

His grin was so wide, I feared he might split his lips. It was creepy but cute.

Whatever that means.

To my question, I watched with a tinge of amusement when his cheeks turned a shade of blooming red. Clearing his throat, his wide grin turned into a shy smile as he nervously scratched the back of his neck, looking anywhere but at me.

"Oh, ahm, you see, J-Jade said 'yes'."

Personal talks were not my forte at work albeit when it came to Louis, there were more than a few exceptions than personal talk at work.

Jade was the girl he was romantically invested in and proposed to her two years back, right around the time he was hired as my assistant. Needless to say, those days were absolute nightmares. Not for him, for me.

New girlfriend-boyfriend dynamic was like watching a cliche scene from a rom-com novel, just a little more cringy than it appears on the pages.

A few months back, he had rambled in a drunk state about proposing to Jade for marriage. He was so nervous that he slipped a little too much information to convince himself that she'd say yes.

It was a relief that finally he grew up and asked the question and by his mood, it didn't take a genius to guess when he did so.

"Good then, now, what's my schedule for the day?"

He didn't seem to mind my lack of excitement about his disclosure, instead, chirruped around like a sparrow for the rest of the day, looking like sunshine personified by his wide smile and bright eyes.

A meeting with a potential investor was first on the list followed by the monthly board meeting to catch up on Ardor's progress.

Partnering with potentially profiting companies was a tough job to sort out, especially when the competition outside was nail-biting.

Today's meeting was set with Jasper Wilson, CEO of a bubbling modeling agency. 6 of the remaining designs that were showcased in glass boxes during Ardor's grand opening a few days back would be advertised by hired models for people to buy.

Ardor in itself didn't sign contracts with models because they were highly unreliable and unpredictable, especially since many went back and forth with different companies, most of which the public would like to label as mortal enemies.

"Miss. Farrington?"

Louis peeked in with a professional smile and I knew then that Mr. Wilson had arrived. Closing the file I was reading through, I made my way to the meeting room, all the while listening to the brief report Louis had prepared on Grandeur.

"Up until now, they seem to be clean and safe to work with. The least controversial model agency and according to the Fashion week reports, the models signed under them have high ratings."

"No negative publicity?"

He paused at my question, looking down at the file he held.

"There was but not recently. It has been buried for the past 11 months. Should be safe, right?"

He sounded extremely hesitant with the question and I didn't blame him. I was very particular about the people involved in my business and any wrong calculations in the smallest details could lead to a full-blown blunder.

Entering the meeting room, I spotted Jasper Wilson talking in hushed tones with his secretary. They looked far too serious with whatever it was they were whispering to each other and the reverie was only broken after Louis scoffed twice.

Jasper Wilson looked the least bit phased while his assistant gave me an apologetic smile.

"It's a pleasure to meet you in person, Miss. Farrington."

Slipping on a polite smile, I shook hands with Jasper. He eyed my hand in his, turning it a little to the left as though inspecting it and when he saw the faintest confusion on my face, he offered just a small smile.

"Your grip is very firm for a woman."

Stereotypical.

Mustn't have ever known that there are women stronger than him that exist.

Biting my tongue from replying to his prejudice when Louis subtly nudged my back, I felt hostility creeping into my smile and I knew the same would be heard in my words.

"Shall we start the meeting?"

He was smart enough to simply nod and proceed with the arrangement. My lawyer sat by my side while Wilson's lawyer recited the clauses from their end.

Share percentage, interest rates, engagement in the work, and the division of the final deposit that would follow the deal after its launch.

"15%."

I raised an eyebrow at the underlying demand in his tone. Folding my palms ahead of me on the table, I gave him an incredulous look without breaking eye contact with him.

"6%. Sign the deal or you're welcome to leave."

I presented the share percentage based on the company ahead of me. For instance, in this case, even though Wilson's Grandeur was doing well, there were many loopholes within the company's strategies and its working style.

Pray tell, why would I make a fool of myself by investing a greater sum in a company that is yet to solidify its foundations?

The faintest nerve appeared on his face. He looked offended by my tone and use of words.

Pity, I didn't care.

For the next five minutes, he discussed the topic with his assistant and lawyer. Back-and-forth aggressive words were exchanged which were not audible to me since I was sitting on the other end of the oval-shaped table.

"It's a deal."

Not as idiotic as he looks to be.

Louis passed me a pen and within a moment of time, the contract was signed and sealed. The duration was 6 months and if both parties were satisfied with the work, we could renew it after the term ended.

"I look forward to doing business with you, Miss. Farrington."

A flatterer.

My personal thoughts were getting a little too bold by throwing words at him but I couldn't blame my conscience.

People do say that the first impression you make is the best impression.

Replying to his words with just a curt nod, I walked out of the room, asking Louis to escort them out. The slightest annoyance was visible in Wilson's eyes at my dismissal but I wasn't the least concerned to send him a last glance.

Time after that slipped through my fingers. Going through piles of paperwork, I took breaks in between to stare at the falling sun.

Leaning back on the leather chair, I let myself relax as I stayed silent alongside the changing sky. Dusk was my favorite part of the day. I liked me for its beauty, for the hues of unmatched perfection in its colors, and most of all, I loved the shadow of the sun caressing the moon, bidding goodbye shortly after they met.

A hardcore businesswoman I was, but the girl in me longed for poetry and flowers, for stargazing and midnight drives, for sweet biddings and hushed touches.

"I never thought I'd be jealous of the sky."

"Why?"

"Because you stare at it like it's the center of your universe."

The blanket was tranquility marred into rising waves. Closing my eyes, I took in deep breaths, burying the sounds resonating in my head to the very chamber I had kept them locked in for so long.

Lies were often told but there were a few that people whispered to themselves- to either forget something or to accept one. I did just that.

I lied to myself that it was the workload getting to my head.

"Louis, get me a cup of chai."

The intercom buzzed and Louis's 'on it' was heard. Shaking my head, I kept away the rest of the files, promising to get done with them by tomorrow.

I massaged my temples, feeling the first evident throb of an impending headache.

A knock on the door was left unanswered by me for I knew Louis would anyway take a peek, glance at me, and then silently walk in pretending to be a sneaky character, and place the cup ahead of me before tapping on my desk twice.

I gave him a small smile which he returned with a bigger one. The steaming cup in front of me looked enticing and just as I was about to burn my tongue with the hot drink, Louis placed a bouquet of wildflowers on my table.

Giving it a long look, I stared at my assistant who shrugged, rounding the bouquet as he spoke,

"Went to get your order and found a delivery waiting for you at the reception. It was couriered. Nothing apart from this and oh, look! There's a note!"

I wasn't blind, but yeah, sure.

Picking the folded piece of scented paper, I opened it to read through the contents only to experience the first drop of discomfort trickling slowly down my spine.

The uncomfortable feeling grew in vigor, coiling like a snake around my throat until I could hardly breathe. The intangible slither of something poisonous made me drop the paper at once, unable to make out all of Louis's rambles for the words on the note were simply suffocating.

'Missed me, ma cherie?'

Ruelle~

Missed me, ma cherie?'

The words, the disgusting endearment, it rang in my ears for long enough to dull my senses. The thorns piercing my skin became painful to bear, and the weight on my chest held down my ability to breathe. My mind was nothing but a haze of dark, unknown surroundings, a silhouette masked from top to bottom with eyes that shined with malice.

"Ruelle!"

My name was screamed, two hands gripped my shoulders.

The silhouette in my mind backed away though his eyes promised terrors unprecedented. My ears blared with a deep sound when the darkness got all too consuming.

Funny, how I thought I wasn't weak but all it took was 4 words for my facade to crumble into pieces.

"Ruelle!"

The voice sounded too far, too far for me to grasp for support. When unconsciousness lent a hand forward, I graciously accepted it with a relieved smile.

Being free from thoughts was the best choice for me at that time.

*****

"I'd recommend full rest for a few days and if possible, try to divert her mind from everything stressful."

I stared blankly at the doctor getting up from the bed after a good few checkups. Mama sat by my side, her hand constantly running across my head while dad looked calm- deathly calm.

His eyes were a giveaway of a brewing storm, a promise of chaos as he forced a smile at the doctor and asked Jose to escort her out. His eyes found mine and with a strained breath, he took a seat where the doctor sat not long ago, taking hold of my palm where he placed a few kisses as though confirming my presence.

"You're fine. Everything is fine."

He whispered, to himself or me, was a question.

"Where was the security team?"

It was Nana who asked the question. Her eyes glared down at Louis who cowered away, not used to the old woman looking so angry. Nana could get frightening when her temper got the best of her and this incident... dear Lord.

Closing my eyes, I inched closer to mama who kissed my forehead, holding me close while dad held tightly onto my palm.

"I-It was a p-parcel. We receive a lot of bouquets almost every day. Nobody thought of it as s-suspicious."

"Don't blame him, ma. He wasn't aware."

Mama tried to calm her mother down from lashing out at my innocent assistant. I didn't need to look at the grateful smile that Louis for sure sent her way.

"This is not fucking right."

"Jarred."

Mama pressed dad's name on hearing the curse word. It was an unspoken rule to abide by a respectful language but they were days that saw an exception to it.

"I'll kill that motherfu-"

"Oh, God! If you don't stop cursing, I'll kick you out of the room."

Dad gritted his teeth but said no more.

I bit the insides of my cheek to stop myself from snickering at his smitten state. No matter how powerful he was to the world when it came to mama he was completely a goner.

Not the time to gush over them but...

"Check the details of the parcel and send it to me."

Dad's words were directed at Louis who nodded, immediately racing out of the room. Sighing, I snuggled in mama's hold, allowing myself to become a baby just for the time being.

"Sleepy?"

"A little."

The pills I had taken not long after waking up were to be blamed for my drowsiness. I felt a rough yet gentle touch on my forehead- my dad- followed by a gentle pat.

"Get some sleep. We'll be here when you wake up."

Dad whispered; promised.

The words acted like a magical spell and so did mama's fingers massaging my scalp. What felt like a few minutes was enough to lull me into a deep sleep and what made it sweet was the warming presence around me, guarding me against any nightmares or dark silhouettes wishing to be my ruin.

*****

The notes started appearing shortly after Ardor's first grand success.

Dad had thrown a huge party as a celebration. I didn't mind the noise, the cheers, and the proud smiles until I was offered a drink with a note by its side.

To this day I remember vividly the first note I had received after which numerous many followed. At first, I disregarded it, thinking of it to be a fan of Ardor who was simply complimenting me.

'You look lovely tonight'.

The note had read and I had smiled.

If only I knew what would follow.

Every alternate week I'd receive a bouquet of different flowers. The cliche woman in me has always been irrevocably in love with flowers of all types. I remember spending an entire summer vacation researching different types of flowers and their symbolism in different cultures and eras.

But upon seeing those flowers week after week, the sweet scent was overpowered by something nauseous, and the beauty in them was masked with feelings so revolting that without a second thought, I had thrown them out of my sight.

Though by the time I took precautions, something didn't feel right.

Paranoia crept in with such intensity that I had taken security measures to a neck-deep level. For a week it was silent until it appeared again in the form of a folded note from a kid the day I decided to take a walk in the park.

It had taken everything in me to not break down crying with all that weighed on my shoulders at that moment.

Dread suffocated me every second after that, not letting me breathe in peace.

And it occurred again in the parking lot of a hotel I visited.

But that time, it wasn't a kid, it wasn't a bouquet, it was a man cloaked in black, and only his malicious eyes were visible. To this day, I recall the fear that statured my feet to the ground, not letting me move even a step away. It felt as though somebody held me by my neck, leaving me helpless.

Through his eyes that crinkled, I knew without a doubt that he was smiling under the mask, and imagining the smile terrorized me continuing until today.

The figure disappeared from my physical surroundings but left me terror-stricken in my sleep, visiting day after day in my nightmares.

It got to the point where I questioned all that was real and all that was a figment of my imagination.

The boundary between factual and fictitious was non-existent.

Those were the days of terror for me.

If it was in my dad's hand, he'd have dragged me back to the Farrington house, keeping me locked away like Rapunzel but just like her, I had the prideful spirit to remain free.

It was as simple as the fact that some anonymous notes weren't enough to uproot all that I've built. I was scared- who wouldn't be- but the person sending the messages was no braver.

A coward hidden behind shadows in hopes of protecting himself.

Dad went to far extents to find the man though as it was, he vanished into thin air. After bestowing me with eight months of endless mental torment, he was gone like he never existed.

Only to reappear five months later.

"This is the fifth security profile you've rejected."

I couldn't hide the tiredness in my tone. Even though I've done nothing in the past two days apart from lazing around like a sloth; it seems that laziness also tires people.

Dad didn't glance up from the security company reports, simply disregarded my grumbles, and focused on selecting the almost perfect security program for me.

He might've gotten a report of every security company in the country and the neighboring ones as well.

My phone lay looking as dead as me and slowly getting down from the couch, I had just taken a step when dad had the courtesy to finally look up, giving me a questioning gaze.

"Library."

Technically, it wasn't a library. It was just numerous bookshelves aligned together and neatly stacked with books upon books of genres I like.

My late teenage-hood's obsession and my bittersweet escape.

Now though I read when I got time, when things got rough, and I knew not how to deal with the amount of stupidity around me.

Turning on my heels, I skipped to the end of the hallway past my bedroom. The room was originally supposed to be a guest room but everyone knows my love for guests, the reason why I reformed it to my liking.

Tall bookshelves rested against the wall of the two sides in a continuous manner opposite to the door. I had covered the glass walls of the room with cocoa-colored curtains to add a touch of warmth.

It looked extravagantly pretty.

And I loved it that way.

Before picking a book to read, I made myself a cup of chai and quickly roasted mixed nuts for myself, knowing well that 'just one more chapter' would take more than two hours.

Skipping almost happily back to my sweet heaven, I gently closed the door behind me. Placing the tray of snacks on the table, I switched on the AC at not too low of a temperature because to put it in simple words, reading makes me lazy.

To think of it, everything nowadays made me lazy.

Shuffling closer to the divine looking books, I decided to read something light and surreally cliche, not even glancing at the books kept under the dark theme section.

Skimming through the beautiful spines, my eyes stopped at the book tucked deep under the shelf. Confused, I pulled it out only to feel the pathetic ache in my heart. It was dull and unnoticeable, but I was never one to ignore my feelings- until he came along.

Regardless of the warning alarms ringing in my ears, my fingers on their own flipped open the pages. The crispness was still there, it looked brand new if not observed keenly. Going through the scribbled words, I stopped towards the middle, looking at the bookmark tucked in between the pages.

It was a dried raisin lavender bookmark with a golden tassel. Softly touching the tassel, I tightened my grip on the book upon feeling the faintest blaze on my fingertips. My skin relished in the tenderness much to my mind's dismay.

And all through it, I wasn't aware of the small smile that had come to rest on my lips.

"What's this for?"

"My claim."

"Huh?"

"You're too in love with your books. Next time, your characters and I shall share your love equally when you see this bookmark."

The memory burned at the back of my mind. An irritating itch at the corner of my eyes wiped all and any traces of acceptance. Gritting my teeth, I shut the book close, stuffing it deeper in the corner from where I had retrieved it.

Closing my eyes, I took ten deep breaths, completely known to the gentleness that burned into ashes in my heart giving way to unadulterated resentment and hate.

That's the power things hold.

Especially if they belonged to a time one wishes to forget.

A mere memory, vague voices, faded walls, and an oh-so-familiar face.

Ridiculous.

Emotions are ridiculous.

Long gone was my good mood and diverting from the rom-com section, I picked 'Confessions by Kanae Minato'.

Not glancing again at the bookshelf, I climbed on the bed and dimmed the lights of the room. The temperature around had dropped considerably and with that, I opened the first page, hooking myself to the plot right from the first word of this dark revenge thriller.

The cup of chai and plate of roasted mixed nuts were long over by the time I closed the book, feeling the heavy weight on my eyes and the need to tuck myself into bed. The imaginations flowing from the book to my mind were all too vivid and enough to divert my mind from everything else.

Deciding on an hour or two of nap, I pulled the thin blanket over myself, lay down on the bed, and closed my eyes but not before setting an alarm.

My eyes closed just in time for the knock that sounded on the door. Sleep had almost caught up to me when I felt a gentle touch on my head followed by a sweet kiss on my forehead. I knew all too well my father's love and as the door closed again, I drifted to sleep with a smile on my face.