His Heart Knows: That He Still Wants Her

Four years ago_

"No! Please Aamir, just listen to me! Please listen to me!," Zoya cried out as she tried to hold Aamir's hand. He's holding onto a big purple luggage. The entrance of the gigantic mansion is already open and he is walking towards the door.

He glared at her angrily as she fell on her knees and held unto his hands which was holding the luggage handle tightly. "Get your hands off me right now!," he shouted angrily.

She shook her head sideways indicating 'no' and cried. "I swear on Allah that I'm not lying. Please believe me! I didn't go to brother Akhil! Please just believe me!"

"You don't have to swear on Allah! You vile woman! Do you want to tell me that my brother is lying!? Get your hands off me right now or I swear I'll hit you!," he shouted back.

She still stubbornly held unto his hands. Yes! He has never loved her or treated her like he loves her but he has shown her respect all these years. So she knows within herself that no matter how angry he is, he will never raise his hands to hit her.

"Please, I'm not lying... Believe me just this once. I've never looked at any other man after I got married to you. Please for the sake of Samir," Zoya cried again.

Aamir looked even more furious. He still couldn't forget the scene he had seen earlier. His own wife was on top of his brother, all alone in one room. Just how much does she despise their marriage that the least she could do is to cheat on him with his brother.

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His face turned red with anger and he spat out,"You should have thought of him before opening your legs to seduce my brother! Zoya, move out of the way and don't make me hit you!"

Just then a group of people walked down the staircase. A man, an old woman and two younger ladies. They were all looking down at Zoya condescendingly. When Zoya saw them, she wiped her tears and ran to the older woman.

She fell down at her feet and cried out,"Mother! I..." Her statement was cut off by the harsh voice of the old woman,"Don't you dare call me mother! I cannot give birth to a vile woman like you! I must be cursed to have a daughter in-law like you."

Zoya teared up and said quietly,"Mother, I really didn't go to brother Akhil's room. A servant told me to go and drop his meal there cause he was too ill to come out. I didn't go there with ill intentions."

The old woman laughed sarcastically and retorted,"Zoya, listen to yourself. Are you making any sense at all? Have you ever served Akhil his meal before? Why on earth will a servant even come to you when Amira is here? Can't she serve her husband herself!?"

Zoya couldn't say a word. She knew that no one would believe her. No one believed her when she talked about the way Akhil used to stare at her and touch her inappropriately. So why would they believe her now?

She looked up and saw Aamir carrying out luggages one by one. He just kept on throwing them outside not even bothered if they broke or not. Not caring about the contents in it. Not caring about the fact that she had loved him painstakingly all these years.

Not caring about all she had endured because of him. She smiled bitterly. He... He doesn't even know. He doesn't know how his mother would ask the servants to leave and then ask her to start performing the servants chores.

He doesn't how many times Akhil will come to the room whenever he knows that she is alone and then began to touch her inappropriately, asking her to go to bed with him.

She looked up at Amira's tear stained face. Amira was looking down at her with so much hatred. Zoya's smile only turned much more bitter than before. Aamir doesn't know how Amira would torment her life all day long.

She cried and slowly moved to the other lady beside Amira. "Zeenat, do you also believe I am capable of doing this?," Zoya asked the lady with so much hope in her eyes. This is her only friend here.

The only person who never joined in maltreating her. The only person who would always comfort her and tell her soothing words. The one who never looked down on her.

"My brother clearly made a mistake...," Zeenat began talking. "In marrying you."

Zoya turned pale as she looked at Zeenat. Is something now wrong with her ears? She gasped in pain as she stared at Zeenat with so much heartbroken emotions in her eyes.

"Zee...," she called out, trying to touch Zeenat's abaya. (Abaya is a Muslim dress.) Zeenat moved backwards and held unto her hijab tightly like she's afraid it will fall off.

"Don't touch me. Don't make me unclean like you," Zeenat spat out, finally breaking the last tiny thread of hope Zoya had. Zoya buried her face in her hands as the tears slowly streamed down, soaking her hijab in the process.

"I really didn't... I didn't," she couldn't stop mumbling. Her shoulders shaking terribly. Just then, Aamir came over and pulled her up. He dragged her out of the house. His family followed him, eager to watch the show. Everyone knows that Aamir is the cold type.

For him to show so much anger means that what Zoya did really hurt him. He pulled her out and shoved her outside roughly. She fell down and the floor grazed her knees.

"Samir...," she called out standing immediately and running to Aamir. She held the sleeves of his Kameez( It's that long top Muslim men wear on pants.)

"My son... I need my son... Please bring Samir to me," she pleaded. Aamir glared at her and shrugged her hands off him. "Samir is my son and he will stay here with me. I will never let him go with you," he replied.

"No, you can't do this to me. He's just a child," she cried out. "You should have thought of that before attempting that cruel act," Aamir answered her.

Just then a servant girl came to him. She was carrying the most handsome toddler I've ever seen. The boy appears to have gotten most of his physical features from Aamir. He looks just like Aamir.

The servant girl handed the baby over to his father. Zoya reached out to touch the baby with tears. But Aamir stopped her,"Don't touch my son with your filthy hands. Leave here this instant or I'll call the guards to throw you out."

Zoya folded her raised hands and finally went to the last person she hasn't talked to since all these drama started. She held the sleeve of his Kameez and pleaded,"Brother Akhil, please tell them this is all a misunderstanding. Tell them what I really did in your room."

"Zoya, I can't do anything to help you. I'm still stunned that you tried to seduce me," the man replied with a cunning smile.

"Guards!!! Throw this woman out!!," Aamir shouted with so much anger. Few bodyguards soon came to drag her out. "Don't touch me... I'll leave," she told them quietly.

She covered her face with her veil and picked up the smallest suitcase on the ground. This was what she brought to his house when they got married.

This is all she will take. Picking it up, she walked out slowly. Not even looking back for once. Aamir stared at her. He watched her leave as he hugged their son tightly in his arms. He tried to convince himself that he wasn't hurt by her betrayal since their marriage was a loveless arranged marriage to begin with.

He sneered, ignoring the painful sensation in his heart and walked in. The toddler in his arms called out sadly like he could feel something is wrong,"Ma...Mama."

"Sssh... There's no mama now."

Still (Four years ago)_

Aamir stood by the window watching the busy street. It's already so late at night yet the street is still filled with people. He sighed and walked to his bed.

"I have work tommorow. I should be asleep by now," he mumbled to himself and proceeded towards the huge king sized bed in the middle room of the room.

He suddenly paused and glared at something at the edge of the bed. It's a huge picture frame above the headboard of the bed.

His hands rolled into fists as he stared at the picture with so much hatred. "Even on our wedding day... she wasn't smiling. That shows how much she resented this marriage in the first place. Why did she even agree to this marriage when she knows she didn't want to get married to me?," he mumbled as he stared at the picture frame with so much hatred.

"I am going to put away every single thing that reminds me of that cheat. She really dared to try and seduce my own brother... I wonder what she has been doing behind my back," he uttered as he advanced towards the picture frame.

He was gonna burn this stupid thing that has her face on it. He doesn't care if it is their first and only wedding picture. He will make sure to get rid of everything that will possibly remind him of her and how she dared to cheat on him.

He already reached the picture frame and was removing it when someone knocked on the door.

"Who is it?," he asked as he finally removed the frame. Suddenly he could hear the muffled cries of a baby. He dropped the picture frame on the bed and walked to the door.

When he opened the door, he was suprised to see the new stay-at-home nanny he hired for Samir. She was carrying a wailing Samir in her hands while trying every possible thing to stop him from screaming the house down.

Aamir frowned and asked,"What's wrong? Why is my son crying like this? Shouldn't he be asleep in his cot by now? It's late already."

The nanny sighed and said,"Sir, he was asleep but only for few minutes before he suddenly woke up and started crying. I fed him, changed his nappy, bath him, sang to him but he wouldn't stop crying. I have never experienced this situation ever since I started working as a nanny."

Aamir frowned at her last sentence. Isn't she supposed to be qualified in this job according to her portfolio? Why can't she just handle a simple thing such as taking care of a wailing child?

"Give him to me and bring all his necessities. I will handle him for tonight," he told her.

The nanny almost bowed in relief as she quickly handed over the toddler to his father. Then she turned around to return to his nursery and bring his necessities.

Aamir closed the door and looked at Samir. "Hey baby, why are you crying?," he asked with a frown. I think the frown made the baby cry harder... He wailed like never before.

"Wahh!!! Wahh!!!," he wailed. Aamir was stunned by the sudden increase of shouts. He panicked and tried to pacify the baby,"Ssh... Ssh... Please stop crying. Don't let me run mad at a young age. How do I stop you from crying? Stop crying please!"

In his despair, I think he shouted when saying the last sentence so Samir just screamed and cried like there is no tomorrow.

"Please stop crying," Aamir was now begging. He dropped Samir on the bed. Then he removed his shirt and tied it round his waist. He already started sweating just at the sight of his son crying.

After removing the shirt, he carried Samir again and started to sing,"Baby... Baby don't cry... Baby please don't cry... Papa loves you. Please pity papa and stop crying."

Samir made a funny face which showed how terrible the song is. Seems like Aamir is singing the song wrongly. His tone is totally off key.

"Wahhh!!!!!," he continued crying. By now Aamir was already getting frustrated. He doesn't know what to do. He sat on the bed and put Samir over his shoulder before patting his back lightly.

Like magic, Samir actually stopped crying. Aamir was stunned as he told himself,"Maybe I should have tried doing this earlier."

Samir's next words made him froze. The child suddenly said,"Ma... Mama." Aamir was stunned for a while. Then he carried Samir, making him face him.

He then told the little boy,"I told you... There is no mama anymore." The boy made a face that showed that he is about to cry out a river of tears.

Aamir panicked and then quickly told him,"Now be a good little boy and don't cry. Let's just go to bed. Don't cry.... Aah" He shouted with a dreaded look as he watched Samir open his mouth widely and release the loudest scream he has ever heard.

"Wahhhh!!!! Mama!!!!!," Samir cried as he pointed at something. Aamir noticed this and turned back. His eyes widened when he saw the picture frame on the bed.

So that was what Samir saw earlier that made him keep quiet and he was thinking it's all due to his great pacifying skills.

"Don't cry! Please stop screaming! See that's mama okay? See mama," Aamir told him as he quickly carried the baby tightly in one hand and then carried the picture frame in another hand.

Samir quietened when he saw the frame in front of him. He looked at the picture and hiccupped... His tears ceased as he rested his head on Aamir's hand. "Mama," he said quietly as he pointed to the frame.

Aamir gritted his teeth in anger. Even if all he wants to do right now is to yank the picture away and burn it, he can't do so. He can't risk Samir screaming the house down again and making him go crazy.

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The room was silent and soon Samir began to doze off. Aamir yawned and struggling with carrying Samir and the frame. Before he knew it, he also started to doze off.

Suddenly, the frame fell to the ground and made a loud crashing sound waking Samir up. When the toddler couldn't see the frame anymore, he screamed,"Mama!!!! Wahhhhhh!!!!!"

Aamir was startled awake and he also screamed with the child,"Wahhhh!!!"

As Samir increased the volume of his cries, his father followed, totally confused of what to do. The room was filled with the cries of a wailing baby(Samir) and a frustrated giant baby (Aamir).

The door opened and the whole household rushed in. "What the heck is going on here!? Aamir, why is your baby crying?," Akhil asked as he stared at the commotion in the room.

Aamir looked at them with a tearful look that screamed,'Please save me!!!'

"This isn't a baby! I'm gonna run mad soon!!!," Aamir shouted as he stared back at Samir who was still screaming.

Still (Four years ago)_

"This isn't a baby! I'm gonna run mad soon!!!," Aamir shouted as he stared back at Samir who was still screaming. Zeenat laughed when she saw her brother's helpless state. But she immediately swallowed her laughter when she saw the way her mother glared at her.

"Where is the nanny you hired for him, Aamir? Why is Samir in your room and not in his nursery?," the old woman asked her son as she tightened the scarf round her neck properly.

Aamir stood up and walked towards them with Samir. Samir is still crying. He just wrapped his small chubby hands round his father's neck. "The nanny was having a hard time with Samir so she brought him here and complained that he just kept on crying non-stop," Aamir told his mother.

"Why will she bring Samir here? Can't she do her job properly? She should be fired!"

Aamir sighed when he heard his mother's words. He pats Samir silently and just stared at her. But the boy wouldn't stop crying.

His mother extended her hands to him to carry her grandchild but immediately Aamir tried to give Samir to her, the boy let out a loud scream that stunned the two of them and almost made Aamir drop him.

He tightened his small hands round his father's hands refusing to let go but he just kept on crying.

"Let me carry him brother in-law," Amira said and she came forward to carry Samir but he repeated the same scene. Holding tight to his father's hand, screaming loudly and refusing to let go.

Aamir sighed and carried him tightly again. "No need. Seems like I have to bear my cross alone," he told them. Zeenat looked at her brother and couldn't help but resent Zoya even more.

If it wasn't for that vile woman, her brother wouldn't have to face this situation of taking care of a child for the first time in his life.

Just then, the nanny came in carrying a big bag. She immediately greeted the family members," Namaste." Others nodded only Amira replied,"Salaam."

She carried the bag on the floor and faced Aamir before saying to him,"Sir, this is the bag. It has clothes for him, his cereal and diapers with..."

Aamir interrupted her with a horrified look,"Did you just say diaper!? Does that mean I have to change his diaper for him if he soils the one he is wearing right now."

The nanny nodded and almost smiled at the horrified look on her boss face. She has experienced this in other homes too. The daddies are always afraid to change their children diapers and when they eventually do it, they are usually traumatized after one experience.

Aamir looked at Samir's bum and said,"I hope this little boy doesn't pump out that horrifying thing and soil his diaper. If I really have to change his diaper, I am afraid no one will want to step in this room again."

Everyone obviously understood what he said cause they looked amused except that old woman, his mother. She mumbled,"All this is happening cause of that cursed woman. Why did Allah take so long in sending her away from this house? It would have been better if they haven't gotten to this stage of having a child."

No one except Zeenat heard her because she spoke quietly. Only Zeenat who was standing close to her heard all she said. When Zeenat heard this, she thought of something and wondered if she should bring up the matter but then she restrained herself and didn't say a word.

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"You guys can leave now. Thanks for coming over. I can handle him now," Aamir told them when he noticed that Samir stopped wailing and is now sobbing instead.

They wished him goodnight again and then began to leave. When the old woman reached the doorway, she stopped and turned back to her son,"Are you sure you can handle him?"

Aamir nodded with an exhausted smile. The nanny quickly said,"Sir, he will soon be exhausted from crying too much. I am sure he will fall asleep soon." When she said this, Aamir was relieved.

The door shut and he ended up pacing around the room trying to get Samir to sleep. He checked the clock and gasped when he saw that it was almost one in the morning.

He immediately prayed that the boy will quickly fall asleep. Finally, when it was few minutes past one, Aamir began to hear Samir snoring lightly and he knew his son was asleep then.

He walked to the bed... More like, tiptoed to the bed and laid Samir on the bed. When he did this, he first thanked Allah in relief. Then he went to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

When he came out with the towel dangling loosely round his waist, he was stunned to see what was happening on the bed. The boy he gently laid down earlier already changed his sleeping position.

Now he is sleeping in the middle of the bed in a slanted way. Aamir rubbed his face. He just quickly put on his underwear and slept the same way his son slept cause there is no way he can sleep straight without putting his leg on Samir.

The position was barely manageable but he eventually fell asleep.

Few hours had passed when the cries of Samir filled the room. Aamir stirred in his sleep when he heard the cries. When the sound finally registered in his brain and he figured out it's from Samir, he immediately sprang up on the bed.

Sure enough, Samir was kicking his feets and hands in the air, crying for attention. "Ssh baby.... Don't start early this morning," Aamir mumbled as he carried Samir.

His nose perked up as his face twist into a frown. He lifted Samir in the air and smelt his bum. He immediately regretted his decision after he did that. The horrible scent that assailed his nose made him see stars.

"Eww... You disobeyed daddy and soiled your diaper!," he exclaimed as he carried Samir to his bathroom. He is afraid to change his diaper in the room so that the sh*t won't go flying everywhere.

He made Samir stand under the tap and then held him with one hand gently. He then slowly began to release his diaper. He almost choked when he removed the diaper.

The sight and scent was horrible. He immediately folded the diaper messily and struggled to wash Samir's bum clean under the tap.

I think they spent thirty to twenty minutes under the tap because Mr daddy insisted on washing the baby's bum until he couldn't see a trace of poo or smell the scent of it.

When he finished, he was proud of himself and Samir already stopped crying. He lifted Samir in the air happily and told him,"See papa cleaned your poo without messing the whole place."

Samir only looked at his father not understanding a word. Aamir soon realize what a terrible mistake he made by lifting Samir in the air with his bare bum cause the little boy's bladder was full and he was ready to release.

Since there wasn't any suitable place available, he decided to release his urine on his father's face. Aamir was stunned when he felt the rush of the warm liquid on his face.

When Samir finished, he was completely drenched in piss. "Wow! What a great way to say daddy good morning!," Aamir told his mini version.