Heart Speaks

Sophia's POV

The rising and the falling of Erica's sweet voice were cascading blissfulness into the ears of the audiences and judges, the inexplicably and unfathomable joy and wins their tender souls. All applauded - in a standing ovation, in an orchestra hall in my school. I was so happy, so happy, that makes tears started dripping down from my eyes to my cheeks. Erica was my younger sister. She was talented to sing. And she always won all the competitions she participates in.

"Amazing" the first judge exclaimed.

"Wow," the second judge clamored.

"She sings beautifully" the third judge bawled.

Standing on the glistening and colorful lights stage. Amid the glowing hall with luminous lights. Erica was happy to see people in jubilations because of her. And she smiled with her baby face.

"The winner of today's music high school competition is...." the absence of the first judge's last word abated the audience's noise. All went silent, so silent, that I could hear my chest throbbing up and down.

"Skylar Erica" the second judge shouted. And Erica burst into tears. In joyful tears.

The hall vibrated with jubilations. I hugged Lucy and Bella. They are my best friends in school. And they hugged me back in gladness. Everyone wore the countenance of happiness except the losers. Who were busy shedding tears?

Although Erica has been winning different competitions this one was different. She won a car key and scholarship too.

Sitting with Erica and my friends on chairs in the school's restaurant. Shaking my head to the tune of background music. Students were congratulating us. And some boys were snapping pics with us, especially with Erica.

"For Erica" Lucy raised a bottle of wine in her left hand, a glass cup with little wine in her right hand. Seeing her, we quickly filled up our glass cup with wine too.

"For Erica" the rest of us chorused. And we drank it together. It was sweet in my mouth. Filling it again to its brim, I drank it again. The sweetness didn't satisfy my tongue. Filling it again to its brim, I drank it. And yet, I wasn't satisfied. And then, I put the whole bottle of wine into my mouth and drank it, and even sucked it off till there wasn't any drop.

Noticing them staring at me in silence except in the background music. And in their face, I read a lot of things. Lucy wore a face of disbelief. Bella wore a curious face - a face that has a question to ask. Noticing Erica's face now, she was just smiling. And I smiled too. Then eyes were rolling. Accelerating - rapidly like owl red eyes. I panicked. Whose eyes is this? I want to hold the eyes of that person, to stop it from rolling. Not knowing that it was my own eyes that were rolling.

"She was drunk," Bella said

"Hold her," Someone said. Then I felt a hand holding me tightly.

"Leave me alone" I roared, trying to free myself.

Amid the struggling. The eyes were rolling again. Looking at the floor, it started rolling too. I tried to hold the floor or else an earthquake might happen. Many hard hands held me back.

"Leave me"..... Then everything was silent. And dark..... "Leave me alone, or else...."

...........

"Erica, Erica, E - RI - ca" I muttered those words out of my dreams, and my mouth smelts of wine. Not ordinary wine. It was the alcoholic one. I sit up on our bed swiftly. It was my bed and Erica's bed. We slept together in one room because Erica has a phobia of sleeping alone. The school uniform was still on my body. "I suppose to wear night gown," I said and my mouth smelts like an alcoholic wine again. What happened? "What happened?" I managed to say the words out slowly, to avoid the smells.

"You got drunk yesterday," Erica said, coming out of the bathroom.

"Really?" I asked, covering my mouth with both hands, not to smell the gas of the wine again.

Erica looked at me. And smiled.

Her smile. With her baby face. Charmed my eyes. And took my memory back to what happened yesterday, at the school's restaurant.

"Did dad knows that I got drunk?" I inquired, without caring for the smell again.

"No. He asked me why you were sleeping in the afternoon, and I told him I have a headache Erica said, still smiling. That is why I love her, she always saved me from every trouble from my strict dad. "He gave me some milk and some drugs" Erica picked a packet of drugs on the red stool and threw it to me.

"What of the milk?" I asked

"Forget about it. The sick girl didn't need milk. She only needs drugs" Erica said, still smiling.

"So, Am I sick?" I asked with an opened palm up.

"Should I tell dad the truth?" Erica asked back and smiled.

Hissing like a cat. I started offing my school uniform. I'm sure that Erica had already drunk the milk. Moving down from the bed, I kept hissing. And I walked to the bathroom. I need to do it quickly for school. Still hissing loudly. But it seems Erica didn't care at all. She played her favorite song on her phone and she sings along.

Water was cascading down on my head and then down to my naked body, to wash soap foam off. I picked a toothbrush near me and applied much paste on it - it is a remedy to clean up and send the bad smells of the wine away.

The absence of the gas of the wine from my mouth relieved my mind.

I catch Erica peeping through - watching my naked body.

"Are you a lesbian?" I shouted and threw my toothbrush towards her eyes. She dodged it and laughed.

I ate my breakfast with my Erica - stubborn girl. I kept gazing at her with the angry face but she would just look away and smiled.

Opening the car doors - the jeep which Erica won. The driver was already in the car, he started the engine as soon as we entered and closed the door behind us. Everything in the car looks new and pristine. It is worth million dollars. And I started enjoying the movement of the car. It was transporting me into the hand of joy. And then the joy carried me in her lap like a mother to her cute daughter.

Noticing Erica smiling at me. I tried to figure out why she was smiling. I thought she was thinking about what happened in the bathroom not knowing that Erica was smiling because I was looking at everything in the car with smiling teeth. And my smiling teeth fade away. I don't want Erica to know that I am happy. Pretending like am still angry at her. She just looked away as if she didn't care. But I know within me that Erica care.

Erica brought something out from her backpack - She was gazing at it. Turning my angry eyes towards her to see what she was holding, I saw her holding a chain. The shining one. This is my first time seeing that kind of chain in her hands.

"Wow! Lemme see it" I said trying to collect it from her hand, but she moved her hands away swiftly. She doesn't want my fingers to touch it.

"Don't touch it" Erica said, putting it back in her backpack.

"Where did you get it?" I inquired

"My boyfriend gave me it before he traveled" Erica answered.

"Oh.. your boyfriend?" I was astonished. Erica smiled and then looked away.

I need to say something but I'm lost with words. I couldn't find the right words to say. I don't know that Erica had a boyfriend before. And she didn't tell me anything. Though we are not in the same lecture class. But at least, she ought to tell me as her elder sister. As if she reads all the thoughts that were running in my mind. She looked at me...

"You are surprised that I didn't let you know before?" Erica asked, still smiling.

"Yes, Why don't you?" I inquired.

"Because you didn't tell me your own too. And I'm not going to show you, my boyfriend, until you show me yours" She said and there was a little smirk on her face.

"............" I don't know what to say again. "Let's forget it" I managed to say.

She thought I had a boyfriend, but I am single. And I don't want to mess myself up before my younger sister. She might make jest of me if I tell her the truth. So, it would be better if we just forget about it.

"We might not be here together, but you are always in my heart ", her phone was singing. Erica played it and put it in a loud volume. This is her favorite song.

Listening to the music which Erica played and giving all my attention to the words, one by one. I figured out that Erica was missing her boyfriend so badly.

So this is why she always played it anytime I'm angry at her in our room. I realized, she played it to remembered her boyfriend who has the heart to forgive her anytime she did something wrong. He was not like me, who would just go on hissing like a snake.

"I miss you... I love you " the music flows out and I feel Erica's pain. Love is sweet and sour too. I figured out that there is pain behind Erica's smile. As if my thoughts are contagious, we looked at each other and she smiled again. "Oh God, love is powerful," I thought to myself.

"Your absence makes tears flow ". Erica smiled again. And I started pitying her. And then, her smile drove me into emotions garden - A place that I have no plans to go to.

......................

Entering the school gate now. Lucy and Bella were already waiting for me. The car stopped. And we both alighted from it. Lucy and Bella hurried to meet us. And we hug them.

"Sophia, you scared me yesterday," Lucy said.

"Hope dad didn't know?" Bella inquired, looking worried.

"Erica saved me again" I smiled.

"Thank you Babyface" Lucy hugs Erica.

"Babyface, hope you have a peaceful night," Bella asked Erica

"Yes, thank you" Erica smiled, with her baby face. My friends always called her 'baby face' because Erica's face looks like a cartoon. And she is pretty.

"Erica" someone called from the distance. She was Abigail, her only best friend.

"Bye" Erica waving her hands at us and left us hurrying, running to meet her Abigail.

Walking past boys who were busy staring at us, liked majestically into the classroom.

"They were looking at you," Lucy said

" Who?" Bella asked

"Sophia of course" Lucy answered.

"How do you know?" I protest "We are three here, and you said they are looking at only me"

"Don't mind her," Bella said.

And I hissed.

For three hours, no teacher enters the class, although we like it that way. I and my friends talk a lot. Especially, Lucy, she talks like a parrot. Bella narrates how her boyfriend woos her with a rose. Lucy cut in immediately after Bella finished narrating her interesting love story, "Lemme tell you guys about my boyfriend too"

"I have a jealousy boyfriend" Lucy continue "He would read all the comments on my profile pic on the Facebook app and Instagram. And he would just be asking me many questions, who is this guy? Why did he com comment this?" And we all laughed. "He asked for my Facebook password but I don't give him"

"Why don't you give him? It's like you are cheating too." Bella said, looking at Lucy.

"Me? Cheating?... I'm not. And I can't because I love him" Lucy defended herself.

"Then why don't you give him your Facebook password?" Bella snapped back.

"I just can't, period" Lucy affirmed.

I was there looking at them, quietly. Then they stopped talking. And started looking at me. Maybe they were waiting for me to tell them something about my boyfriend too. Although, they know that I'm single but they just want to make jest of me and they started laughing.

And in the end, I got nothing to say. Nothing to defend me and I accepted it as I choose it.

"Wow" I stared at Henry's profile picture on the facebook app. He had sent me a friend request, but before I could accept it, I need to check who he was. Henry was my classmate but we are not friends and we are not enemies either. But we haven't had any conversation before.

Scrolling the screen up, I saw tons of likes and comments on his profile pic. Girls comment on it a lot, some sent love stickers. And he sent it back to them. At that moment, I started feeling jealous. Did I just say jealous? Yes, because I started liking him. He looks handsome with his smile and a little dimple show on his cheek. I haven't seen him smile before. But now, right here, I see it, and I started liking it. Why did he add me? I asked myself. Maybe he just wants to be my friend, I answered myself. Mere looking at those comments and likes, he might have gotten a girlfriend.

But the moment I wanted to click on Confirm to Accept his friend request. My finger mistakenly touches Delete. And it was deleted. "Ahhhhh" I screamed. And my friends were frightened. Bella jumped up from her chair.

"What happened," Bella asked with fear on her face. And Lucy grabbed the phone from my hands. I couldn't do anything. I was just there, in the position of holding the phone. Although the phone was not on my hands, it just looks as if I was still seeing how it was deleted. "Ahhhhh" I screamed again.

"What did she saw?" Bella asked Lucy, who wore confusion on her face. She didn't say it. It had already been deleted.

"It's nothing" Lucy answered her. "She just likes to scare someone just anyhow" She dropped the phone on the table and went back to sit, hissing.

"Oh God, this girl wouldn't kill me," Bella said and sat down back.

I don't know what to do. And what to say. All I knew is that my mood changes instantly. I picked up my phone. Maybe I should add him back, I thought but I didn't remember his surname. "Fuck" I said, scratching my hair with my fingers. And I started hating it. Am hating my fingers, especially the one that press delete.

I noticed that my friends were still staring at me. I looked at them and they quickly looked away and face what they were doing. Lucy was writing a love poem from her phone down for her boyfriend, while Bella was reading a book about music. Should I tell them? I asked myself. Should I tell them the truth? If I tell them the truth, who would believe the truth? Who would believe that I started liking a guy.. my classmates?

Scrolling the screen up again, everything looked dull. I checked my inbox. I saw more than 30 messages. I scrolled up maybe I could see Henry's message but I didn't. A new message popped up, I checked it. It was a guy. I checked his profile. His name was Edwin Abraham. I checked his profile pic, He wore a black jacket and wore a devil mask on his face, so I didn't see his real face There was a caption was his pic "I don't care about girls who wear pants" Is it true? I thought to myself. I need to find out by myself.

'Hey Sophia'

'Hello' (I replied)

'How was your day?'

'Not fine and yours?'

'Why?'

'Nevermind'

'C'mon, tell me?'

'Don't worry'

'Let me worry dear'

typing.....

If he doesn't care about girls that wear pants then why did he care about me? Or am I not a girl? Then I just got angry. The guy was irritating me.

'Leave me alone'

'Baby. What is wrong?'

typing...

I'm boiled with anger. Wanna say are you mad? But I didn't.

'Baby, do you need lp?' (His message popped up)

typing...

'Why don't you replied?' (this message popped up again)

I... just... blocked his ass. And then switched off my phone.

Erica was just looking at me inside the car. Because I didn't say goodbye to my friends. I didn't smile. I didn't hiss. And I didn't talk to her. I just frown my face as Commando frown in his film when some men kidnapped his daughter.

"What happened to you" Erica inquired and I didn't reply"Are you still angry at me?".

"No" I answered her because I didn't want her to be thinking something else

"Then what happened?"

"Nothing"

"Did he offend you?"

"Who?" I looked at her face.

"Your boyfriend" Erica replied.

I didn't know what to say. I don't want to lie. And I don't want to say the truth either. Erica was still waiting for me to reply here. But I remained silent.

"If he offends, please don't break up, because you are going to miss him if you didn't miss him now, you are going to miss him later," Erica said, trying to explain more "Well, you might see another boyfriend, you might love another boyfriend, but he can't be like the first one. Sometimes you might think leaving him was a good thing. But sometimes you might regret why you got angry at him. And don't forgive him because of your friend's words. Don't forgive him because he was famous, rich, or handsome. Don't forgive him because you love him. Forgive him because he still loves you"

Hushed. I looked at her. She had already experienced a lot of things in relationships. She had already known everything. And I wondered where she got all this wisdom from. Erica then brought out the chain. And tears crawled out from her eyes. At that moment, I realized that her boyfriend didn't travel. The truth is his boyfriend offended her and she broke up.

"I still love him," Erica said "I will go back to him... I won't have to pretend to my friend that I'm fine again... I won't have to play with my heart again" She burst into tears. And here, here, I saw the tears that are hiding behind her smile.

"Wow"...

Her words touched me. Grabbed my hands and took to a paradise of emotions to which I don't have plans to go.