Heart Of Ice - Athos Mazza

Ollie

"What do you think about getting out of this noise?" That question changed my life irrevocably.

It all started when I finally finished my degree in secretarial studies and foreign languages. For the first time in my family, a woman had a degree and even against my father's wishes, I was going to work and be independent.

That very day I broke many of the rules of a typically traditional and rigid family and went out to celebrate with my classmates. In my mind, it would happen so quickly that my parents would never notice.

However, between one sip and another, time flew and I soon found myself involved in a dance with a handsome and attractive stranger. His scent was intoxicating and he displayed a sensuality that I could feel all over my skin. Then, after our third dance, came the invitation. What can I say? I was too caught up in those little kisses on my neck and his breath that insisted on warming my skin. The way he sucked in my scent, rubbing the tip of his nose down my throat and into my hair. The gentle touch of his fingers sliding up and down my back. The intensity of his embrace, which was as suffocating as it was delirious. And for a moment I felt ashamed to feel such unreasonable desire for this stranger.

"I'm sorry, but I liked you and just wanted to be able to touch you more... intimately," he said. His sincerity was truly something that frightened me. However, I must admit that I really wanted to feel his more intimate touch on me. However, there were two problems with me. One, I had never gone out with a stranger before, and two, I had never been alone with a man before.

"I promise you'll like it a lot!" His promise came with a provocative and fiery kiss that stole my ability to breathe. Thus, I found myself accepting his unexpected invitation, and moments later, I stood at the doors of a luxurious hotel room, with a refinement that would astonish any simple young woman like me, and they opened to me. However, I had no time to absorb any details of the decoration of that room, as his hands took possession of my body in a devastating way, and his mouth began to devour mine with an inexplicable hunger.

My body obeyed his command without any protest; it burned with fire, and my most basic functions no longer obeyed me. Everything inside me was in chaos. My breath weighed heavily in my chest where my heart beat hardened, fiercely pounding inside. Heat took over everything, and I gasped violently, sinking into the lust that his experienced hands demanded of me.

"Oh!" A loud moan escaped my lips as he began to explore some more specific parts of my body, and everything inside me seemed to melt like the lava of an erupting volcano, such was the fire igniting within me. "Oh!" My sounds grew louder, almost scandalous, as he eagerly sucked on my intimacy, causing an unparalleled sensation and making me explode directly into his mouth.

"Now it's my turn, beautiful!" He said so roughly, undoing his belt when I hadn't yet regained my strength, and in a fraction of a second, the stranger was thrusting himself inside me. A discomforting burning sensation immediately seized me, and I held my breath in search of relief from my pain. Amidst my heavy eyelids, I met his perverse gaze analyzing me, with a smirk playing on the corner of his mouth. "Are you okay?" His voice seemed distant now, but his tone was firm.

Was I okay? I could never tell at this moment because as crude as everything seemed, I longed for more of his promiscuity. "Yes, I am!" I whispered softly and breathlessly, and in my eagerness, I raised my hand to try to touch him.

However, he held them, keeping them above my head, making me a captive of his most insane desires, and he shook his head, a disapproving "no" evident in his expression.

"Don't move, beautiful!" The stranger ordered and began to move forcefully, delving deeper into me. In the act, he covered my mouth with his, increasing his delirious rhythm, making it stronger and rougher, driving me mad beneath him.

A loud but strangled roar escaped his throat, followed by another and another, and when I felt like I was going to break into a thousand pieces, he stopped the punishing, demanding kiss and watched me fall into free fall, cumming straight away.

***

The next morning...

I took a deep breath, barely opening my eyes, feeling uncomfortable with the brightness coming from outside. With a grunt, I turned on the bed to stare at the white ceiling.

Memories of last night immediately engulfed me, and I smiled, feeling different.

Maybe a bit used. And just the thought of what I did gives me a shiver. May my parents never find out about it. I pray, letting out another breath and sitting up on the mattress, realizing I'm alone in the room now.

Somehow I feel frustrated.

Seriously, there was no chance of expecting anything from him. However, the feeling of being used wouldn't leave my mind.

... For God's sake, Ollie, where are you?!

I glance at my younger sister's message and smile, sending a reply to her.

... Heading home now. I'll tell you everything when I get there.

I quickly gathered my clothes from the floor, dressed in haste, and left the luxurious room behind.

On the bus, the hours made me nervous. My parents have the habit of waking up early and going to church. So, I had little time to get home before they noticed my absence.

So, as soon as I got off the bus, I ran like crazy through the streets of the middle-class neighborhood and entered the house through the back door.

" Ah, thank God! " Kim hissed, exhaling loudly, and sat down on a kitchen chair. Meanwhile, the front door opened, and my parents walked in accompanied by Edie, a family friend. " Go to the bathroom and get rid of those clothes and makeup! " Kim growled at me somewhat apprehensively, and I slipped away into a corridor that would lead me to the staircase.

" Hi, honey, where's your sister? " I heard Mom ask as soon as I reached the third step.

However, I didn't stop and went straight to our room. I got rid of my clothes and took a quick shower, returning to breakfast shortly after.

" Look who's here! " Mom said with strange enthusiasm in her voice. " See, Edie, isn't she lovely? " I glanced quickly at my sister across the table, but she shrugged subtly.

" Yes, she is really very beautiful, Mrs. Martin! " A detail about Adele Martin, my mother. She is the matchmaker here in the neighborhood and has already arranged more than fifty marriages. And I just hope not to be her next victim.

I mean, Edie Durand is one of the most handsome and coveted guys around here, and any girl would do anything just to marry him, except me. The explanation is quite logical.

The Durand family, like mine, is too traditional for my taste. In the eyes of the heads of these families, women should only be occupied with their husbands, home, and children.

So, working is out of the question.

I definitely don't want that for myself, which is why I took a complete course in secretarial work and foreign languages hidden from my father. After all, I dream of getting a job to be independent. In my original idea, as soon as I achieve that, I'll take Kim to live with me.

" Darling, why don't you serve a cup of coffee for our guest? " Mom asks with a singular cordiality, and before obeying her, I release a breath through my mouth, forcing a smile at the guy.

Then, the entire conversation at the table focuses solely on me. How talented, obedient, a good daughter, and about the lucky man who would marry me. See what I mean?

***

A few hours later...

"Listen, Olivia" Edie says as soon as we reach the small gate of my house. He holds my hands and kisses the back of them warmly. I take a deep breath, thinking of pulling them away, but he continues. "I was talking to your father earlier. You're already twenty-two and it's time for you to get married..." I immediately pull my hands away from his, and his eyes look at me confused. "Ollie, our families are distinguished, we think the same way and...

That's the problem. I think, determined to put an end to this.

Edie is really cute, but I wasn't born to be just a housewife and the mother of a bunch of children.

"I asked your parents for permission to date you."

"Edie... I'm sorry, but I... I'm not ready to date right now. I..."

"Don't worry, I'm a respectful guy, and we won't date for long because I want to marry you as soon as possible." I shake my head, making a no gesture to him.

"I'm sorry, Edie, but I have other plans for my life now!" I said all at once and didn't wait for his response, simply ran and entered the house, finding a satisfied smile on my mother's face and a reproachful look on my father's face.

Ollie

"Tell me everything!" The excitement in my sister's voice is palpable. That's understandable since the strictness of our family doesn't allow us to go to parties, let alone clubs or discos.

"My goodness, Kim, what do you want to know?" I retort, amused by her eagerness, and I look at her lying on her single bed next to mine.

"I want to know about everything. You know, the lights, the music. I want you to tell me about the taste of the drinks and what it's like to dance with a man. Oh Ollie, tell me! Don't hide anything from me!" I finish brushing my hair and immediately go to my bed, under the covers, turning to face her.

"The nightclub is exactly like we've seen in movies," I say, and her smile widens. "There was all that white smoke, the lights running from one side to the other causing a strange sensation in our heads. My friends chose to drink beers and oh my, they're awful!" We laugh at my comment. "But the drink made me more comfortable, so I didn't complain."

"And the stranger, what was he like?" I inhale sharply and remember his dark eyes, always intense and stern. His mouth that spoke firm words mixed with gentleness and understanding, yet they were too captivating. His possessive touch on my waist during the dance and also in the heated moments in that room. And even the way he breathed too close to my skin.

"Oh, he was handsome, really very handsome! And he was tall, so tall that I felt tiny next to him."

"And he didn't tell you his name?" I shake my head.

"No one did. Actually, I didn't know anything about him, and he didn't know anything about me."

"You're crazy, you know?" I laugh. Maybe I am indeed. I think.

A slight turn of the latch turns off the bedside lamps and immediately lie down, pretending to be deeply asleep. Then the light from the hallway invades our room, and soon the door closes again.

"When are you going to get a job?" Kim asks now softer and with a frustrated tone.

"I'll start looking for one next week." She smiles again, this one hopeful.

"Okay! I love you, Ollie!"

"I love you too, Kim! Goodnight!"

"Goodnight!"

Leaving home to look for a job will be another challenge for me, as it's amazing how much influence my father has over people here in the neighborhood, especially the shopkeepers. So, if I have to find something worthwhile, I'll have to look outside this place.

But how will I do that? It'll be a problem.

I need to find the right time to leave home and return before they notice my absence. In other words, I'll have a few hours to dedicate to finding a good job, and when I do, I'll have to find a place to live.

However, the bigger challenge will come when I actually get something to do, and it's at that moment that I'll have a serious fight with them.

Restless with my thoughts, I get out of bed and sit in the small, aging armchair near the window. Outside, the neighborhood is still awake, but part of the shops is starting to close. I sigh when I think that only our family sleeps with the chickens, while some young people my age do young people things. With not much else to do, I pick up the old cell phone my Aunt Julian gave me secretly from my parents before she left and decide to practice a bit of French.

***

One month later...

It's impossible that fate wants to torment me so much, for I'm on the verge of collapse just thinking about venturing through this neighborhood in search of something to help me achieve my goals, and no matter how much I beg for a measly job, it's denied to me, or they offer me a pittance for my work. I didn't struggle for so many months, risking severe punishment, to be exploited by these leeches.

"My God, Ollie, you took so long this time!" Kim complains noticeably nervous as soon as I enter the house, but I'm too disheartened to retort.

"Have they not arrived yet?" I kick off my shoes and hold them with two fingers. In response, she shakes her head at me.

"Go to your room and change before they walk through that door."

"Okay, I promise I'll be quick!" I say, but before I rush up the stairs, I kiss her cheek and thank her. "Thank you for covering for me; I know you were overwhelmed with my share of the household chores."

"Just go change before you get us both in trouble."

"I love you!" I hiss and do as she asks.

In three days, Kim will turn twenty-one, and if I really manage to find something that guarantees us a comfortable place to stay and our livelihood, she'll come live with me.

As soon as I enter the room, I shed my clothes and quickly put on something simpler and more modest. However, as I hurriedly walk to the door, my head spins slightly, and I lean against a wall, slowly inhaling, feeling the erratic beating of my heart.

"For God's sake, Ollie, are you trying to punish me?!" Kim bursts into the room completely breathless. However, the discomfort seems to absorb me, and I immediately run to the bathroom. "What's wrong? What's the matter with you?" She inquires, following me. However, I don't have time to answer because I immediately bend over the toilet and pretend to vomit, which doesn't come, after all, my stomach is empty. "You're freezing, Ollie!" Kim seems very concerned.

"I don't understand what's happening to me," I say with some difficulty as another wave of nausea rises in my throat.

"Heavens, are you sick, sis?" I shake my head and take several deep breaths, hoping this agony will pass soon.

"Help me to the bed, Kim," I ask, extending my hand to her. My sister helps me to my feet, and then she wraps her arm around my waist and leads me to lie down for a while.

"I'll call Mom!" She thinks of moving away, but I grab her hand, and she looks at me bewildered.

"You don't need to, Kim, it's already passing."

"Are you sure?" I nod, sitting on the mattress and taking deep breaths, feeling the warmth gradually returning to my body.

It doesn't take long for us to carefully descend the stairs to go to the kitchen, where Mom receives me with a stern face, and Dad looks at me and then at Kim with a reproachful look.

"Why did you take so long?" She roars irritably. Kim stammers not knowing what to say, and I decide to tell the truth.

"I'm sorry, Mom and Dad, I wasn't feeling well, and Kim stayed to help me."

"What's wrong, are you sick?" Mrs. Martin immediately gets up from her chair to place a hand on my forehead, checking my temperature.

"I'm not sick; it was just a discomfort."

"Sit down, come have breakfast, and eat well, Olivia. I want you to get very strong, after all, to marry a man like Edie, you need to have the strength to please him." I practically choke on the coffee when I hear this nonsense.

"What's this talk about marriage?" I look at my mother and then at my father.

"Mr. Durand will come this weekend with his family to ask for your hand, daughter."

"I don't want to! I'm not going to marry him or anyone!" I retort softly but impulsively.

"You don't have to want it, Olivia. The world isn't easy, and consider yourself lucky that we've found a good man to take care of you." Irritated by this conversation, I stand up and stare at them both.

"I don't need you to take care of me!" I growl under my breath.

"Sit down, you insolent girl!" Dad orders when I think of leaving, and grudgingly, I obey him. "Listen well to what I'm going to tell you, Olivia. I'm your father, and as long as you live under my roof, you will do as I please. And when the Durand family enters this house, I want you to greet them with smiles, and to serve your future husband with much love, do you understand?!" I just clench my jaw and swallow back tears.

"Can I go to my room now?" I retort holding back impudence, and he waves a dismissive hand, releasing me. I leave the room with wide steps and run through the banisters of the staircase, straight into my room.

Ollie

"Do you think you should see a doctor?" Kim asks, worriedly pacing back and forth. However, I can't respond because nausea won't allow me.

"Damn it, Ollie, something is going on inside my head and I don't like my thoughts!" She breathes heavily, leaning against a wall and dragging herself along it until she sits on the floor.

"Tell me, when was your last period?" "Okay, that was the question of the century, and honestly, I don't understand why I didn't pay attention to that detail before. I mean, I don't have a regular menstruation schedule. However, it never fails. Whether at the beginning, middle, or end of the month, it always comes, but not this month."

"For God's sake, Olivia, why didn't you insist on him using a damn condom?!" My sister scolds, unable to contain her despair, and resumes pacing inside the bathroom, where I remain prostrate, waiting for a new wave of nausea to hit me.

"You were so caught up in the moment!" She interrupts me. "And now, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know, Kim. I just know I have one more reason to leave this house and look for a job."

"And who's going to hire you in this condition, Ollie, tell me?" Dejected, my sister sits back on the floor, and I do the same, leaning against the wall behind me. The worst part is she's right. Nobody in their right mind would want to hire me knowing I'm pregnant. And how will I manage when the baby comes? Heavens, I've messed up everything! All our plans and dreams are slipping through my fingers, and I don't know what to do to stop it.

"What are we going to do, Ollie?"

"I'll figure something out, dear. I promise," I say, moving closer to her and embracing her tightly.

The following days became increasingly difficult to control the symptoms of this completely unexpected pregnancy because along with the nausea came weakness that drained all the strength from my body and a sense of sleepiness that seemed never to leave me. The days were passing, and consequently, my time was running out, and I could no longer hide this situation from my parents' perceptive eyes.

However, it didn't take long for Edie to put an engagement ring on my finger, and everyone was already talking about marriage. Damn it, I can't sleep anymore, and eating is almost a torment because the smell of food makes me nauseous.

In the middle of the night, I was already ready to go to bed when I became dizzy, and my vision darkened. Nervously, Kim held me as best she could and helped me to bed.

However, the next morning, even though I was disheartened, I went downstairs for breakfast, and strangely my sister wasn't at the table. My parents were too serious, and that was a bad sign.

"Good morning!" I say, forcing a smile, and suspiciously I settle into a chair without looking them directly in the eyes. "Where's Kim?"

"She went to get something I asked for," my mother's dry tone doesn't go unnoticed, but I try to focus on pouring myself a cup of coffee. "Are you pregnant, Olivia?" The sudden question startles me, and I accidentally spill some of the hot coffee on my clothes. "Ah, darn it!" I curse as part of the hot coffee spills onto my clothes, and trembling, I grab a cloth to dry myself.

"Oh, darn it!" I growl as hot coffee spills onto my clothes, and trembling, I grab a cloth to dry myself.

"Do you think I haven't noticed? The morning sickness, the excessive hunger, and the excessive sleep? And you didn't even ask me to buy this month's pads!" I close my eyes, reproaching myself for this tiny detail. A strong thud on the table startles me, and I finally look into both of their eyes.

"Answer your mother, girl!" Dad orders, and I gulp nervously.

"And don't lie to me because I'll know if you're lying, Olivia Martín!" Mom's deep voice doesn't escape my attention, but I try to focus on serving myself a cup of coffee. "Are you pregnant, Olivia?" The sudden question catches me off guard, and I accidentally spill some of the hot coffee on my clothes. "Ah, darn it!" I curse as part of the hot coffee spills onto my clothes, and trembling, I grab a cloth to dry myself.

"I am," the words cautiously escape my lips. Dad stands up abruptly, and fearfully, I stand up too.

"For God's sake, Olivia, how did this happen?!" Mom inquires, but my eyes are fixed on my dad's movements as he begins to unbuckle his belt from his pants. "HOW?!" She shouts, and I shrink back, moving a bit further away.

"I-I don't know."

"HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW, OLIVIA? HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHEN YOU GOT PREGNANT? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, WITH WHOM?! Oh my God, everyone will talk about your promiscuity, my daughter! Everyone will point fingers at us as irresponsible parents. Oh, God, where did I go wrong? WHERE DID I GO WRONG WITH YOU, OLIVIA?!" Her screams seem to make the walls of the house tremble.

"Mom, I didn't..."

"Don't call me mom, you slut!" She snarls in a mix of disappointment and anger, landing a hard slap on my face and then a sequence of slaps that I try to avoid until she steps back and cries bitterly in a corner. Tears stream down my face instantly.

"Who is the father of this child, Olivia?" Dad rudely demands, and my eyes dart anxiously to the dark leather coiled in one of his hands.

"I don't know. Dad, please!"

"DON'T LIE TO ME, YOU INSOLENT GIRL! I WANT THE NAME OF THAT BASTARD, OLIVIA! He'll have to be a man to accept what he's done and marry you!"

"For God's sake, I'm not lying!" I retort, a mix of fear and impudence in my tone. "I don't know his name..."

"Well, you..." He raises the belt, and I close my eyes, anticipating the leather to sting my skin.

"Dad, don't do this!" Kim interjects, standing between him and me.

"Kimberly, get out of the way now!"

"No! Dad, she's pregnant, and you can't hit her like this!"

"If you don't move, I'll hit both of you!" He shouts, raising the belt again, and once again, I close my eyes, expecting the burning sting on my skin. However, it doesn't come, and even without courage, I decide to open them. To my surprise, Mom is holding onto Dad's arm, and hopefully, I search her eyes.

"I want you to leave my house, Olivia."

"Mom, please..."

"Leave my house now!" She orders with a low but imperative tone. Kim casts me a pitying glance. However, I look at my parents in a silent plea.

"Please, where will I go at this hour?"

"I don't care. I won't harbor a promiscuous slut in my house. I want you to pack your things and get out!"

"Mom..." I try to plead for her mercy, but she turns her back on me, and all that's left for me is my dad's stern gaze.

"Kimberly, go to your room."

"But, Dad..."

"I SAID GO UP, GO NOW!"

"I'm sorry, Ollie!" My sister whispers without making a sound and runs to the stairs.

"And you, forget you have a family here because from now on, you don't have a father or a mother anymore. I'm leaving now, and when I come back, I don't want to see you here." He turns his back on me, and devastated, I sit back in the chair and start to cry.

This wasn't how I planned to leave this house. I should be working, earning my own living, and choosing a cozy home to welcome my sister and me. However, I'm packing some clothes into a bag, and amidst painful tears, I bid farewell to my sister.

"I want you to take this with you." She hands me a colorful cloth as if it were a bundle.

"What's this?"

"It's my savings, Ollie. It's not much, but it'll help you."

"Oh no, Kim, I can't accept this!"

"Please, Olivia, take it with you. You'll need it, my sister." She insists, and touched, I receive the small bundle from her hands and hug her again. This time, tightly and for a long time, and finally, I look around. To every corner of this room that holds much of my history.

"I'll come back for you," I promise, looking at her hopefully to find strength to succeed out there.

"And I'll be waiting for you right here." I nod and force a smile for her.

"I love you, don't forget that," I say.

"I love you too, Ollie, but you need to go before they..." Kim's voice trails off.

"I know, I know." I take a deep breath. "I don't know how, Kim, but I'll manage to make it through, for myself, for both of us. I didn't think it would be so hard to leave, but it is. After all, I was born in this house and grew up here too. And I have many, many memories in this place."

Outside, I look around the street without knowing where to really go. When I start walking down the sidewalk, I decide to go to Edie and ask him for help.

"I just need a room for a few days. I need to look for a job and a safe place to stay," I tell him.

He audibly sighs. "I can't, Ollie. Your father would destroy me if I did that."

"Edie, please, I promise it'll be just a few days. And he doesn't need to know," I plead, hoping for his cooperation.

"You know him better than anyone, Olivia. Your father would leave me without clients overnight. You know his influence over everyone here," Edie responds, revealing his dilemma.

I just nod, shaking my head. "All right!" I drop the bag on the floor to remove the ring from my finger that he gave me a few days ago. "This belongs to you. I would never be a good wife for you, Edie. I would never fit into that stupid standard that you insist on maintaining in this town."

"Olivia, I..." Edie begins, but I cut him off.

"Until we meet again, Edie!" I interrupt, already feeling the weight of the impending departure.