I had one day before I turned twenty-one then I could leave the hell-hole I called pack and live as a lone wolf. At eighteen, wolves are considered adults but lone wolves are a rarity as living without the ties of a pack can drive a wolf to insanity. Our laws prohibit wolves under the age of twenty-one from living solitary lives to keep the rogue population in check.
"Tomorrow, Rena, you and I will leave this hell and find a real home." I stroked the fur of the stray black wolf that became my friend a year ago.
"What are you doing lazying about?" A sharp voice cut into the serene air behind the pack house. "Do we keep you here to waste our air?" I hurried to my feet as Felicity approached me. "You article of no commercial value!" My face snapped to the side and I stumbled as her palm connected with my left cheek in a resounding slap.
"I am on my break." Indignation rang in my tone as I cradled my cheek. "I deserve to rest after working nonstop for twelve hours –" Another slap cut me off.
"This filthy bitch!" She screamed, red in the face. "How dare you talk back at me?" She stepped closer but paused when Rena growled low in her throat.
"Rena, back off," I warned my friend. She had suffered enough cruel torture for my sake yet every time I pushed her to leave, she came back to me.
Unlike me, Rena was an ordinary wolf and not a shifter. I could not tell if she understood me when I told her to leave the pack, to find somewhere else or to stay in hiding. She always stood beside me and it always ended in her getting hurt.
"You and this your stupid mutt," Felicity grumbled, eyeing Rena who kept growling, the intensity of the sound rising the more time passed. "Whatever," she rolled her eyes, pretending the sounds coming from Rena's throat didn't terrify her. "I am reporting you to my father." With that, she brushed past me, her shoulder hitting me hard enough to make me stumble.
"Rena, no –" Without looking back, I knew what would happen next. Rena charged at Felicity, claws sinking into her arm as the other girl tried to shift. "Get off her. You'll get in trouble!" My eyes scanned the place. I couldn't hear anything but with the scent of blood rising in the air, people would soon be here.
"Rena –" I cried in a voice choked with emotions. "Please –" If she could understand me, she showed no sign. She fought Felicity like a rabid dog. The Alpha's daughter shifted to her brown wolf but she lacked the murderous intent to combat Rena who fought like a crazy animal ready to kill.
"Felicity!" A voice thundered from behind me. Turning, I faced Kade as he ran over to the battling wolves. Two others came with him and they separated the fight in seconds.
"What did you do?" The expression on Kade's face made me gulp, cowering backwards. He glared at me with red eyes, taking a step forward while I stepped back again.
"Kade," Felicity cried with a wretched sniffle as a man put his coat over her. "She set that violent wolf on me." She pointed a shaky finger in my direction.
"That's not what happened. She bumped into me on purpose and Rena defended –" I jumped to argue for my friend.
"Enough." I flinched at the icy venom in those words. "Why can you not stay a day without causing trouble?" He growled in my face. "What will you gain from hurting Felicity?" He put a hand around his sister, hugging her to his side.
I would say something in my defence but no one ever believed me. My words held no water against Felicity's. In truth, if he came to see her pummeling me to the ground with only a scratch on her face, it would be my fault. Felicity was the precious daughter of the Alpha and a beloved member of the pack while I was the wretched omega daughter of the Beta, the wicked child that killed her mother. These treatments were not new to me. I spent all my life trying to earn their love but now, I gave up. Their hurtful words did not faze me anymore. After dealing with them for twenty-one years, one last day meant nothing to me.
"I am sorry." I bowed my head, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes. The entirety of Silver Moon had seen enough of my tears. They didn't deserve the satisfaction of seeing me broken one last time.
"Be sorry for the wolf you just killed." My blood ran cold at those words spoken with hostility and hard eyes. "Chop off its head." He gave the command to the men standing at alert behind him.
"No, not Rena! It was my mistake –" I screamed, unable to hold back the tears as I heard Rena's whines. Two hefty men pulled my friend away while she fought. "It was my mistake." I tried to run after them, to help Rena with my useless hands but Kade stopped me.
"Stay." The command of an Alpha was impossible to disobey for any wolf under their command. When Kade spoke in his Alpha voice, my body complied, forcing me to a standstill.
"Please, she is the only one I have. I promise – I promise I will never cause any trouble again. We will never cause any trouble if you –" I begged, my legs locked underneath me.
"Shut up, you are giving me a headache," he snapped, pushing his hair out of his face while holding Felicity who pretended to be hurt. The injuries on her arms were knitting themselves together thanks to her Alpha blood but she breathed harshly through her mouth in pretence.
"Your punishment will be decided later," he said. Felicity raised her head a fraction to smirk at me before going back to her limp position in her brother's arms. "I gave you numerous chances to get rid of that dog but you kept it. Her blood is on your hands." I looked down at my trembling hands as he walked away, leaving me with those words that weighed heavy and crushed my soul.
My friend's distant howl echoed in my ears and unfroze my legs. I trembled from head to toe as I ran, following the pungent scent of blood that belonged to my only companion. Unfortunately, I bumped into my superior as I rounded a corner.
"There you are." She grabbed my hand. "Your thirty minutes break ended ten minutes ago. What are you still doing out here?" As she spoke, she pulled me with her. "Never mind that. There is a lot that needs to be done or have you forgotten we will be receiving guests from tonight?" She took my hand and stirred me back into the pack house.
"Ma'am –" I tried shaking her off but her grip on my hand was like iron. She lost her temper when I tried to shake her lose the second time.
"There is no time for your drama!" She snapped, all forms of niceties evaporating from her tone. "We have too much to be done in preparation for tomorrow's hand-over. If you don't behave yourself, I will have to call the Beta," she threatened, wagging a finger in my face.
"But my friend –" I looked in the direction where I heard Rena's howls.
I expected Beta Maria to understand how I felt in this situation as she was the only one in this pack to show any bit of affection for me. She may be stern and focused on work all the time, but she showed me empathy from time to time. I hoped this would be one of those times.
"That wolf is dead!" She snapped, putting her hands on her hips. "Do you want to follow after it?" She demanded, her eyes sparkling with impatience. "If you want to keep your head, you must get back to work. Kade is about to become our Alpha. Tomorrow will usher in a new dawn for the Silver Moon pack. We must all do our work except you want to offend the incumbent Alpha and his Luna," she warned me. I nodded in understanding but I did not understand. Not fully. Why could I not mourn my friend who I just lost because I had to plan a party for someone I hated!?
"If you abandon your duties, you will suffer more and I am sure that wolf would not like that." Maria patted my shoulder. "Keep her in your heart and mourn her later. Right now, you must attend to your duties."
It was easy for her to advise me in a situation she had no experience of. How easy it was for her to tell me to postpone my mourning and continue my duties as a slave for a pack that never valued my hard work. All my life, I bent over backwards for this pack, hoping that one day they would see my sacrifices and appreciate me. I gave up everything – my person and dignity –to please these people but the only thing they did was take more than I could give, strip me bare and punish me for crimes I did not commit.
My Rena died for nothing.
My heart ached. Pain crushed me from the inside while I went to the laundry room to continue my work as the slave of this pack. Despite my father being the Beta of this pack, they never allowed me any luxury. I lived from hand to mouth for as long as I remembered, living as an orphaned slave despite my living father's high status.
For the next seven hours, I had to iron the sheets and take them up to the guest rooms. My tears splattered against more than one bedsheet as I lay the bed in more than twenty rooms in preparation for the arrival of the guests invited to celebrate Kade's succession as Alpha.
The longer I worked, the more tears fell from my eyes. My limbs were tired but my sorrow and grief fueled my work. The weight on my chest suffocated me and I felt the need to run, to leave everything behind and never look back. Yet the fear of turning rogue made me continue working. Until I was old enough to survive as a lone wolf, I stood a high risk of turning feral if I left my pack.
I changed the last sheets after midnight and made my way downstairs to my room on legs that wobbled. By four a.m, less than four hours from now, Maria expected me in the kitchen to join the preparations for the pack's breakfast.
Upon entering my dark and clustered room, I met Kade half-sprawled on my bed with a pinched expression.
"What are you doing here?" I stood at the doorway with the door ajar and my heart in my throat.
"Close the door," his gruff voice commanded as he stood, his head almost touching my ceiling.
For my eighteenth birthday, my father kicked me out of his mansion. It was something he wanted to do since the day I was born but could not until I was old enough. After that, I moved to a cubicle in the pack house, a small room with only a tiny window and no lighting at the back of the pack house. I have stayed here for the past three years but tomorrow, with my little savings, I would be out of this pack forever.
No, today.
The midnight clock in the leisure room already struck midnight thirty minutes ago.
"What are you doing here?" I asked Kade again, making no move to close the door. I didn't want to be trapped in such a small room with this maniac.
He walked over to me and caught me around my waist as I contemplated running off. It would buy me a minute but I could never outrun Kade. He pulled me into the room and shut the door.
"Why are your things packed?" He asked in a quiet, dangerous voice that had my heart galloping.
What did he want from me this time? He rejected me already. He killed my friend a few hours ago. When would he leave me alone!?
"With all due respect, that is none of your business. Why are you in my room?" I asked as I stepped away from his looming figure while goosebumps exploded on my skin.
"Sihana." His tone held a warning that made me shiver. "Were you planning on running away?" His nostrils flared as he crossed his arms.
A cold sweat broke out all over me. My hands trembled. My lips trembled. Every part of me trembled.
On my eighteenth birthday, not only did I have to deal with the misfortune of homelessness, I also found out I was mated to the biggest asshole on the planet. The Alpha's son. While I was too worried about my status and how to please my father, a small part of me still held out hope to find my mate. Never in a million years would I have expected to be mated to someone as cruel as Kade.
He did not want me and I did not want him so the minute he found out we were mates, he rejected me. I accepted his rejection and bore the sharp pain of a broken mate bond with the calm satisfaction that I would not have to spend the rest of my life with a man that beat me and spat on me to amuse his friends.
Kade bullied me since we were kids. As the Beta's daughter and the Alpha's son, the pack always put us together. In a lot of cases, the Alpha and Beta's children were best friends who ended up taking over from their parents together. In my case, I ended up a hated omega.
My earliest memory was of five-year-old me getting shoved face-first into the mud by a laughing six-year-old Kade. He never liked me and I never liked him but he had a bad habit – He considered everything and everyone as his property.
"What do you want from me?" I asked in a bitter tone, glaring at his feet. Why would this man not leave me alone? I suffered enough at his hands already!
"What did I tell you the day you rejected me?" He asked, taking a step towards me. I stepped backwards but ended up against the door.
"You rejected me," I emphasized to jog his memory. "I don't know what you want but I have to sleep now. Please leave." I sidestepped him. Or I tried to. A hairy hand landed on the door beside me, blocking me in.
"Do you think you can be rid of me?" He snorted, amusement sparkling in his eyes. "In a few hours, I will become the Alpha. Your Alpha. Do you think I will let you leave the pack because you are old enough?" He snorted again.
"I am old enough to leave. There is nothing you can do about it now." I bristled, raising my chin to look up at him. For once, I didn't want him to intimidate me.
"Sihana, take off your top." The command made me stiffen. I clenched my fists at my sides while my hands shook, fighting the Alpha's command at all costs. "Now." My willpower broke.
My hands, as if having a mind of their own, reached for the hem of my shirt, raised it and pulled it over my head.
"Do you still think there is nothing I can do?" He leaned into me, his nose running against the base of my neck as I fought down tears. "I have not even succeeded my father yet you can't resist my command." He chuckled, his words reverberating against my skin.
There were still a few hours left for Kade to receive full control of the pack yet he wielded power over me like this. By the time he became the sitting Alpha, would I still be able to leave? Could it be – Could it be too late?
"It is such a pity you are an omega." He ran his finger down my face, his body too close for comfort. "You have a nice body. I would have enjoyed breeding you but I can't risk having dirty omega pups like you." He opened his mouth and puffed a breath against my face, one of his hands going down to my waist.
"What do you want from me?" I closed my eyes against the disgust crawling through my skin. "You rejected me. You hate me but still – Why do you keep torturing me?" I bit out, turning my face away from his breath.
If only I wasn't a darn omega! If only I had power, any power. At that point, I wanted nothing more than to be powerful enough to fight the Alpha's command. I would not win but if I was an Alpha, my wolf would not obey all commands without room for protest.
"Who says I hate you?" His hand rubbed my thigh, riding up my skirt.
"You rejected me and you have bullied me all my life." I flinched away from his touch, pushing his hand from my thigh but he gripped me. "Just let me go. I won't bother you anymore."
"You are an omega. What did you expect? That an Alpha would take an omega as a mate? Do you think I want omega pups? Do you think I want my bloodline tainted with yours?" He sneered in my face, his hand running up and down my thigh, caressing me. "What will I gain from letting you go? Who will satisfy me when the moon is at her peak?" He nuzzled his face into my neck.
The moon was at her peak tonight. Because of him, I got nervous about every full moon. He did this nonsense to me two years ago and a part of me hoped it was the first and last time I would ever be subjected to something so vile.
"Go to Avalon. I'm sure she will be more than willing to accommodate you."
I closed my eyes when his hips stuttered against me. Bile rose in my throat as I felt his erection straining against my waist. My skin tightened and a burning sensation started in my throat. The urge to run, to flee, and never look back overwhelmed me but he gripped my thigh tighter.
"It is a full moon. Ava cannot help me tonight. Only you can and you know that." He sniffed my skin, from the back of my ear to my collarbone and then between my breasts. I went as stiff as a board as he ran his nose against my skin.
The full moon affected him in a way that did not affect me. I didn't know if his status as an Alpha heightened his senses but the connection between us broke when he rejected me and I accepted the rejection so I felt nothing when the full moon came around. On his part, Kade went into rut. The first time it happened two years ago, he sought me out to kiss me and rut against me until the moon went down.
Since then, every full moon, dread clawed at my throat as I did not know what to expect. The incident never repeated itself until today. That day, I spent hours in the bathroom scrubbing my skin for two reasons; I felt dirty and no matter how much I scrubbed, the sensation of worms on my skin did not let off. The other reason was that he had a girlfriend who would kill me if she caught his scent on me.
I stopped his hand when he reached behind me for my bra strap. "No!" I shook my head with the feeling of maggots against my skin. "I don't want this."
"This will relieve the both of us. Why are you resisting?" He muttered, his eyes falling to my lips. I was too late in pressing them together. His descended on mine but I stayed as still as I could.
"I taught you to kiss me back, didn't I?" He mumbled through his teeth as he pulled back. "What is it? Is it because of your dog? Something had to be done about that mutt, anyway." His flippant tone tightened my heart. "Now, kiss me." I turned my head away as his lips descended. He let out a frustrated growl. "Do you not want to be relieved of your heat?" He snarled. "I am not asking for much here!" He snapped.
My tongue glued to the roof of my mouth but I shook my head still. His pride never let him believe I did not go into heat. He must have thought all these years that I writhed in pain every full moon waiting for his touch but whatever he felt during full moons, I did not feel them. We broke our bond so I could not go into heat for him!
"I don't want this." I pulled his hand from my thigh. "Leave me alone."
"Fine," he snarled, pushing away from me. "It does not mean anything anyway!" He snagged my shirt off the ground. "But have it at the back of your mind that you will never leave this pack!" He spat before he left, slamming my door loud enough to wake the house.
My suffering started from my birth. My birth had been inauspicious. I'd been thirty-two weeks in the belly when my mother went into labour on a Friday, the thirteen day of the month. On the day I was born, a storm started from nowhere and ravaged the pack, uprooting trees and destroying houses and businesses. Of course, that day was marked as a cursed day, a day of ill omen for the pack.
Throughout that day, my mother tried to push me out despite me not being due for at least another six weeks. The doctors had been preparing to cut her open after a long day of excruciating labour when I came out at almost midnight. My mother died after my first cry and it was settled from then on.
I was the ill omen.
It didn't help that the storm calmed at midnight.
It may have been a coincidence but what did it matter? I was born on an ominous day and then I killed my mother. My father lost his mate because of me and even as a child, he never let me go for long without the reminder that he hated my existence. I cost him his mate, the most precious being to him on the planet. To him, I fought too hard to be born and because I was born an omega, he told me I had no reason to be alive.
I was always small for my age, timid and weak. While other children hit their milestones at the right time, everything about me was delayed. I could not walk until I was three and had difficulty speaking until I turned five. My existence disgraced my father, a renowned Beta of a powerful pack.
When he looked at me, I saw anger and hatred in his eyes even before I knew what those emotions were. I remember once, as a child, after going weeks without seeing my father, he returned from a trip and I ran to hug him. Tears gathered in my eyes when I remembered how hard he shoved me away from him that day.
Since the Beta had no regard for me, no one in the pack paid me any attention. My mother was a beloved member of the pack and even as a child, I had to endure the hands pointing me out as the useless and cursed child that took her life. Why were the circumstances surrounding my birth unlucky? Why did I have to be born if I had no relevance to my family and my pack? People would whisper and sneer at me, and my teachers who used to be my mother's colleagues would frown sternly at me. All the time, I had to live with the knowledge that I was bad luck and not worth being born.
I tried all my life to prove my value, to show my pack that I was not worthless but now, the desire to prove myself to people who did not have any affection for me was gone. Silver Moon did not need me anymore than I needed them. I had to leave this place before Kade could stop me.
All the things I packed, the little possessions I acquired throughout my life, I would have to leave them behind to move quickly. I opened my purse that was stuffed deep inside my ratty handbag but what I saw made me blink twice.
"No." There was no way this was happening to me. "He can't do that. Goddess, let this not be real." I ransacked my bag, ripped apart the compartments of the purse, turned my bag and shook out its content but nothing.
My savings were gone.
"No way." I started to scatter my packed bags. Sweat dripped down my face as I moved around the room, overturning things.
I searched under the bed, in the holes of my torn carpet, the bags I packed but now unpacked. I checked my pockets, my shoe, everything in that small place but I knew where I left the money but it was not there anymore.
"Kade, you bastard –" I choked down a sob as I continued to check everything. I searched for hours, until three in the morning, I was searching for my lost savings but deep down, I knew the money was gone.
He took it. The realization was something I did not want to acknowledge. It crushed my soul to admit that all the money I gathered for over a year to leave this hell had been taken by that bastard.
"What should I do?" I paced my room.
Without a doubt, he would not give it back to me. A hundred thoughts sped through my mind. I could steal it back from him or make a fuss in public until he gave it back. None of that would work.
My back hit the ground as I fell with a sob wrenching from the deepest part of my being. Why would this man continue to torture me like this? I had never done anything to offend him. I never did anything wrong to these people and I never meant to kill my mother! What did I do to deserve this cruel treatment?
"I have to get out of here." I could not allow myself to wallow in self-pity. Continuing to cry now would not solve any of my problems. Kade had my money and he would never give it back. Did I want to stay here until I made more money to leave?
You will never leave this pack!
I stuffed clothes into my handbag in a hurry. It would be stupid to delay now. I had to get out of this pack no matter what. Whether or not I had money did not matter at this point. What did was that I left this hellish pack and stayed hidden long enough for my bond to the pack to break.
To the east of Silver Moon was no man's land. If I managed to cross out of this pack to no man's land, I would be in Blue Blood pack lands in a few days. From there, I could leave for the human territory a few miles from them. I did not have the money to board a train or book a flight but I had a wolf to run.
I hefted the bag over my shoulder and crept out of the pack house. In an hour's time, the other workers would start to wake to prepare for Kade's succession. I would have to shift and run as fast as I could before anyone noticed my absence. As today would be a busy day, I hoped no one past Maria would notice my absence. In fact, I prayed no one noticed my absence, especially not him!
Asena, my wolf, ran as fast as her legs could manage. We leapt over branches and twigs, fueled by the urgent need to escape but a low, wretched howl made us slow down. Asena stumbled on her feet as she skidded to a halt when we heard that howl again.
"What is that?" I asked my wolf. Her ears perked up as she listened for the sound again.
"An animal is hurt. It sounds like an ordinary wolf." She pawed the ground in unease. The need to flee beat at us but ignoring that wretched cry for help was not an option.
"Could it be Rena?" I asked. My wolf shook her head. She would know Rena's scent better than me not just because she had better senses than me, but because I used to shift in my free time to play with Rena in my wolf form.
"It is not Rena but we can still check it out." Despite her unease, Asena's large heart, as always, made her put someone else before herself.
We agreed to check it out and my wolf bounded over to the direction of the sound. My heart ached when I saw the condition of the wolf. It looked as if it had been abandoned by its pack and ended up being attacked in its weakened state. I would like to know what attacked it but I had no means of communicating with ordinary wolves. Even Asena did not understand the language of non-shifter wolves.
I shifted as I approached the wolf whimpering on the ground. I noticed the blood oozing from its wounds the closer I got. The sheer quantity of blood pooling around it made me nervous. I approached with caution, careful of spooking the injured wolf but it was too feeble to move.
Squatting, I pulled clothes from my bag to put pressure on the bleeding but nothing I had could wrap around such a big wolf. In a panic, I pressed my hands against the biggest injury. My hands met open flesh and gooey blood that made my stomach churn.
"The wolf is going to die," Asena said in my head. "His injuries are fatal."
Despite not knowing this wolf, the thought of losing it made my heart ache. After losing Rena, I stared helplessly again. I pressed my hand harder into the wolf's injury.
"Asena, what can we do?" I asked my wolf.
The weight of everything that happened in the past twenty-four hours crushed me. I did not know this wolf but I could not leave it to die!
Something like a jolt of electricity passed through me. The tingling sensation made me take a step back then I noticed the bright light in the darkness of the night surrounding the forest. My hands were emitting a bright white light, like a bulb!
"What is this!?" I screamed in my heart, my heart palpitations almost driving me mad. "Why am I glowing!?" I slapped my hands together to put out the eerie light but nothing happened.
"This –" Asena whispered in awe. "I can't be certain but it feels- this is the healing light."
"What is the healing light?" I kept clapping my hands together in a bid to turn off the lights but I only succeeded in hurting my palms.
"Put your hands on the wolf!" Excitement rang in my wolf's usual dead voice. "I am certain this is the healing light!"
I put my hands on the wolf like she instructed and to my horror and amazement, the light encompassed the wolf, covering it and brightening until I had to close my eyes against the blinding white light. Still, the light penetrated and hurt my eyes. It went out as fast as it came, the light dying and leaving behind the blanket of darkness.
I peeked my eyes open slowly. Looking down at the wolf, I saw it as stiff and quiet. Did I kill it!?
"Oh, it's asleep." I placed a hand on its fur matted with blood. "I have to go now and I hope you don't feel I abandoned you when you wake up." I pressed a kiss to its eyelids and stood on shaky legs. It felt as if the light zapped out my energy and with the thought – healing light – I staggered to my feet.
I had power.
The thought made my knees jerk underneath me so I shoved it to the back of my mind. Satisfied that the wolf won't die, I focused my attention on leaving Silver Moon. I could not afford to dwell on my discovery or to wait for people to notice my absence.
"Stop right there!" An unfamiliar voice boomed in the darkness, making me turn like a robot. Two men had guns trained on me when I turned.