He Is..... NOT Him

- Prolouge -

First love is bound to fail, I often hear that. But first love is never really easy to forget. I can relate with those two fact. It's been 10 years since I met him and loving him everyday. I never thought that this very strange creature would become someone I dear the most in my heart. The man named Han Ryu Min I knew at college.

Through the commotion around me, I still can hear your cheerful yet deep voice. When I stay on the crowded I can still feel your touch.

I still see your image, I still feel your warmness. From the vision of a stranger passing by, from the leaf that rides the wind and sorrowfully sways,

From the air in the night that brush against my face.

All I see, I hear, I feel. You are there. You are the first person I can see when I close my eyes looking for comfort after my long busy days. You are the exictense I feel when the soft rain touch my face.

I don't even remember when or how could you become the only man who able to make all these miserable yet comfortable feeling become my loyal accompany. Why it should to be you?

When you introduced her to me at that time, I knew.... All memories about us which I dearly embrace isn't something that as precious as for you. Maybe.... Yes, my first love has failed on that day, crushed into little pieces. But... Deep... Deep inside my heart I still longing for you like an idiot.

-End of Prologue-

It's a perfect morning to start a new day. The sun shine brightly. The warmth gives a courage for you to start a new day, illuminating some happy vibe. You get ready to go to your new work place, a big and famous company of Seoul, CNR Company. You heard,read and watched a lots about this succesful company which have a wide spread field. It is everyone's dream to become a part of this company.

You wear your best outfit to match the company image. You put a light and refreshing make up to show your flaws, you check your appearance on mirror, it's look perfect. You want to give a best image on your first day as an assistant secretary.

In order to avoid a busy time, you departure earlier, you don't want to be late on your first day. You take a bus and sit on the middle seat row near the windows. You open the window to let the fresh wind in. You inhale the air deeply, close your eyes and smile. You try to put your best happy mood to welcoming this perfect day.

You arrived at the company 20 minutes earlier. You tidy up your clothes, checking your make up and put your best smile. You walk confidentally and entering the skyscraper building. The interior of the building is really extravagant, classic but comfy. You see a tall lady with a brown short hair, wearing a complete business attire walking towards you. She has a stern facial expression and elegant vibe.

"Lee Hyu Ri-ssi?" She confirms your name. You straighten your back and answering her politely. Soon she introduces her self as Kang Jae Hee, the head secretary of CEO company who will work as your superiors. She invites you to visit your office on 11th floor, and going to introduce you to the CEO.

"He has a unique taste , a workaholic man, serious demeanor, and loves his cat, Elizabeth the 3rd" You don't really know how is the last information about his love for cat is related to your job. Elizabeth the 3rd, isn't that name too extravagant for a cat?

"Well he never ask someone else but me to feed his cat" She put a pressed tone with a vague annoyed when she said but me. You can sense that she has some kind of resentment towards the CEO. "He even gives his cat to me when he has a recent business trip when I'm allergic of cat." she continue her anger. She inform you that he send his cat to her in the middle of the night outside of her work time.

"Well.... It's kinda too much of him" you comment. Somehow your comment snap her back to reality. She put her stern demeanor again, which is very opposite of her talkative side she show just now. But yet you can't blame her to resent the CEO. He is kinda cruel.

"Well.... I tell you these facts so you can be prepared" Jae Hee feels awkward. Her face is red. She is embarrassed to the fact that she just put out all her pissed of the CEO towards someone she meet once. Morever you are her subordinate. She thinks it is not appropriate for her to talk with you like this.

"It's okay...." You sense her awkwardness and smile kindly to her. Somehow you feel that she can be a good friend for you here. She looks at you, hesitate. But smile in the end. Both of you just reach the elevator when the door is opened.

A man with his black office suite is standing there. He looks at you silently. You are so shocked to see the man who is infront of you now. His figure, his eyes, his face is really familiar to you. All of the old memories flash in your mind fastly. Your first encounter, his silly behaviour, his smile, his kindness, his way of calling your name, his way of garing into your eyes. The face of the man who you are longing for is now appear in front of you.

"Hyu Ri-ssi.... This is...." You can't hear Jae Hee voice because you suddenly turn around and run away. Tears already filling your eyes. You miss him, but you really don't know what to do or what to say right now. You don't want to looks miserable, teary eyes infront of him after your long separation, so you decide to run away, to soothe your feeling.

Kang Jae Hee and the man is taken aback with your sudden escape. They are staring on the door you just passed and being speechless.

"Sajang-nim....." Jae Hee greets the man after she takes her composure.

"What's wrong?" The CEO ask her with his typical cold and serious deep voice of him. Jae Hee smile rigidly, not really sure how to answer him because she doesn't has any idea. NOT at all.

You are keep running without even knowing your destination. When you reach the balcony you stop, trying to maintain your breath. You curse yourself on being totally uncool and running away like that. You should just greet him, say hello to him and etc rather than escaping like that. You rubbed your tears away, you don't need to be all sensitive just because of this.

Now what? You discover that you may work on the same building with your first love, do you want to keep running away like that? It's been 10 years. The memory of that day come to your mind.

-Flashback-

It is your graduation ceremony. You just graduate from Economy and Business department. You and your friends is really happy and enjoying this ceremony together. After the ceremony is finished, you see a dazzling man waving his hand on you. He brings a flower on his hand.

"Congratulations for your graduation" he hands you a bucket of red roses, your favorite. You can't hide your smile for that.

"What is that? It is also your graduation now" you hit his hand trying to hide your timid smile. You both decides to walk together at the empty garden, taking some space from the crowd.

"From today onward we will not able to play together again" Ryu Min looks on his surrounding, trying to remember every part of this place. "I'm going to miss you" he smiles at you. Your heart is skip a beat, unconsiously swallowing your saliva.

"Do you remember our first encounter?" You ask him. "When was it? Does it at the library one year ago?" Ryu Min ask you back, you shake your head makes him think it over.

"It is here...." You inform. "I was reading a book , and when I divert my eyes from the book, you are walking from that side, smiling." You point on the place you mentioned.

"At that time.... The sunlight illuminates your figure from the back, you look so dazzling when your face is brightened by the light" you smile to him. It is your first time praising him like that. All of this time you never show your feeling, you even say things that is not matched your feeling because you try to hide the facts that you like him. But now, you think it might be your last time with him, so you.... Who always try to act cool and disinterest decide to confess.

"Since that day, I often encounter you anywhere,isn't this kinda funny to keep bump each other when we are in the different department? So I gradually become curious, I was searching for your ID you know and stalking your SNS, and everytime I witnesses your perky but strange behaviour I can't help to think "what a waste of handsome face to be an idiot like you" but slowly.... I can't takes my eyes from you and become interest on you." Your sudden confession make Ryu Min speechless. He is staring on you, with a serious expression, it seem like he wants to know every single things that you want to say, so you continue.

"I..... Like you..... No.... It is so silly of me but I.... Am in love with you" You finally speaks. His eyes is teary, he suddenly looks sad, but why??

"Ryu Min oppa...." suddenly a younger girl come to him and congratulate him of his graduation. You never saw her. She graciously greeting you, you smile absurdly. She then ask Ryu Min about who you are cheerfully.

"My friend.... Lee Hyu Ri" he introduce you to her. A friend he called you after your confession. "This is......" he hesitates. "My girlfriend... Kim Ha Na" that it is! A big dissaster come to your heart.

"Girlfriend?" You look on his expression, he feel guilty, sad and whatever is that you can't really sure. You laugh dryly, trying to hide your broken heart. You say goodbye to them before leaving them, you don't want to turn around even when he calls out your name.

It was the past. You try to comfort your self. You need to get a grip of your self. You are a grow up woman now, a 28th years old woman! You can't take your childish feeling to get in the way of the job you dream about! You have to be professional. At that time your phone is vibrating, it is Secretary Kang.

You answer her call and apologize to her, you make a reason of going to the toilet because of your sudden stomacheache. Jae Hee inform you to come and meet the CEO, he is waiting in his room.

You need about 5 minutes to reach your new office, Kang Jae Hee welcome you and ask if you are okay, and you smile. She knocks on CEO door and wait for his respond, after you hear his approval, you enter the room.

Just when you get over of your past feeling , you have to be shocked because the CEO of your is the man you were escaped from. You feel panicked and he seem to sense that. You didn't want to destroy your chance, nor your job, nor your dream , so you take a deep breath and smile formally to him, greet him politely.

He see your swift demeanor and kinda feel curious with that but he choose to be professional.

"What is your name?" He ask formally. You flinch, even though as professional as he is, is it necessary for him to pretend that he doesn't know your name?

"Lee Hyu Ri imnida...." You don't have a choice but to answer him politely.

He is checking your CV.

"You graduated from Seoul University? At 2011?" He ask again after reading your profile. You answer him, still trying to be polite.... But you start to feel irritated from his acting.

"I see...." He said. From all of the respond he just say that? Isn't that fact spark any memory about you even in the case he forget you. Both of you graduated from the same Univesity at the same years.

He then inform about your job which is mostly about helping Secretary Kang on her job. It is her request to have an assistant because she feel that she is not able to handle everything just by her own. He mocks Jae Hee about that but he doesn't has a choice to refuse, so he agreed to employing a secretary's assistant.

"That's all.... You may leave" he instruct you then continue his job reading some documents. You've got enought.

"Yak...." You break the formality. He can't believe what he just heard but he is staring at you. Expressionless.

"Is this really neccesary for you to pretend that you don't know me?" you finally speak, he still staring, puzzled.

"Yaak....." He irritated you more. "Just because I shamelessly gotten rejected by you, I still can't pretend to don't know you at all!" You vent your anger.

"Rejected? By me?" It puzzled him even more.

"That's right! You! You silly jerk! It is really stupid of me , why should I even love a person like you for these 10 years even after you reject me. Why should I even feel this heart broken again when you can so easily forget me! When every single memory of you is held dearly by me!" You've become teary-eyed.

"You love me?" He is amused. You gasped. Realizing your stupidity, again.

"No! Not at all! Never!" You shout loudly, if your shout can erase the fact that you mouthing this stupid love things, you gonna shout louder.

"I clearly hear you though. Listen.... I don't know where we ever met or how I reject you. But I really can't remember you at all" He adds salt on your wound.

"Han Ryu Min.... you bastard! I really want to chew you and crushed you into pieces!" It silence him at once. He try to comprehend the situation. Soon, he smirks at you, make you frown.

"Han Ryu Min? Are you mistook me as my brother?" His statement makes you think hardly. What is he saying about. Is Ryu Min has a brother? Your mind searching through the memory. He has!

"He never say he has a twin!" You try to argue.

"We are not a twin... He is 5 years younger....." He explain. You are silence, for a seconds. You observe him carefully. In comparasion he is indeed has a different vibe from Ryu Min. He is serious and cold, while Ryu Min is perky and warm. Their apperance is different too, he is charismatic and Ryu Min isn't serious and like to play around.

You laugh dryly, grasping the situation.

"Hehe.... Then....who are you?" You finally ask.

"CNR's company CEO, Han Ju Min imnida...." He introduce himself. Now you are staring on the table's name. It is clearly written "Han Ju Min -CEO" why on earth can't you find it any sooner!

"Ah right.... Hello.... It's nice to meet you" you try to smile.... Hardly.... But you really ready to cry of shame.

He tilts his head, can't really grasping this strange moments. "I'm not sure I feel the same though" he "smile". What an awful first impression you give on him.

"......I'm sorry...." You appologize to the Chairman in line. You really regret how to treat your boss just now.

"Alright you can leave now...." Ju Min doesn't looks like he minds it all. You try to speak again but he silently continue his work. You dont want to become more disturbance to him.

You leave CEO's office, your body is being slumped. Is this the end? You think you are gonna be fired on your first day. Your spirit is knocked out. Your face is as pale as ghost.

"What's wrong?" Jae Hee comes to you.

"I think I'm gonna get fired.... On my first day" you make an assumption.

"No way.... Mr Han assign your first task just now" Jae Hee inform you. You can't believe what you heard. You mumbling to your self about your mistakes just now and how terrible you are.

"So what's happened?" Jae Hee asks. You look at her with your puppy eyes, start to tell her the story. You can see that she is gasping from hearing the story and she put her hand on your shoulder.

"Don't worry... Mr Han is not someone who will let personal feeling involved in professional business. As long as you do your job and he pays you, he would care less if you badmouthing him or talking behind his back." Jae Hee explains, try to comfort you.

Jae Hee explain that Mr Han had three to five assistant before and Jae Hee is the head assistant. But all of them were resigned. It is not because the company didn't paid them enough, instead the company give a really high payment for the employee.

But... Work together with Jumin can be really demanding. He wants everything to be perfect and done fastly. Sometimes the employee didn't even have personal time to have lunch do tue the immense of the job.

Jumin never care about his employee good being, he takes everything as business related. If you are paid then you have to work. Is all that he needs. Thus a lot of people can't stand to stay in a contract with him and decide to resign. Jae Hee is not an exception, but at least she can bear with him more than other.

"I hope you are not gonna resign too" she mumbling to her self. If you decide to resign it's only mean more works for Jae Hee, she can't even remember when were the last time she has a holiday.

"Don't worry... I'm a stubborn person, once I set my eyes on, I couldn't give up easily" you cheer her, but actually it's more like you cheering your self. You know that working at CNR company is really though, but yet you are not an easy person too.

You officially work at CNR company, and when Jae Hee said that you have a lot works to do, she is not joking around. On your very first day you need to finish three reports in a row. It was almost lunch time when you finish the first one.

You decide to fulfill your stomache before continue your work. You see Jae Hee still working on her desk and you invite her to have lunch. She tell you to eat first because she need 15 minutes more to finish her task. You feel it is useless to persuade her, she work like a manual robot. So you decide to go.

You turn around and almost bumping on someone. You lift your face to look at him. It's Han Ju Min. You gasped. You can't used to with his face yet.

Everytime you look at that face all you can think is Han Ryu Min, your heart keeps pounding around and your face is reddened. But once you realize that it is a different person , you shook your head and put your formal face again. You have to be professional.

This accident not only happened for once or twice, it is happen e-ve-ry-ti-me you meet this handsome CEO for almost a month you work here. And it's kinda get into his nerve. He starts to feel curious. So when you come into his room to give some report , he decides to ask you personally.

"Why do you keep being surprised everytime you look at me?" He wonders. He is staring at you straightly. Your heart start to pounding.

You convince your self that he is not Ryu Min, he is not the love of your life. It is success to managed your pounding heart.

"You keep reminding me of him, that's why...." You give an honest answer.

"....... Ryu Min? You must be cherish him a lot..." He makes a conclusion. You didn't give any respond about this.

"Do you like cat?" He changes the object of conversation.

"I don't hate them, they are cute...."

"true, there is no any wonderful creature more that cats, they are fluffy and majestic" he keeps talking and praising about cat. He does seem like he enjoy the conversation, a lot.

" I heard that you have a cat, Elizabeth 3rd?" You ask. There's a sparks on his eyes when you mention his cats. He says that Elizabeth 3rd is an example of gorgeous and elegant cat.

"Ah right, if you like cat, can I ask you a favor regarding Elizabeth 3rd?" Ju Min asks as like he just get a good idea. You nod, being curious of his favor.

"In two days I'm gonna have another business trip and I need assistant Kang accompany, Assistant Kang never shows that she like to be with her so I can't take her with me nor leave her alone, she can become really sensitive and uncomfortable towards people who dislike her...

"..... so I think it's gonna be best to leave her to someone who like cat, don't you agree?" He asks you eagerly. He may distant and cold towards other, but somehow when he talks about his cat he show a great compassion and caring. Which wonder you.

"Sure thing" your answer put a great relief on his face. He tell you to takes Elizabeth 3rd during the business trip which you agree. He also says that he would transfer you an extra amount money for taking care of her. You can't deny, it's seem that he always solve any problem with money. A very businessman like.

After you leave Ju Min's office, you follow Jae Hee to check the stock market of CNR fashion. At first she insist for you to stay at office and finish your job, but you refused. She looks so pale, she keep working until late for the preparation of the next business trip. She seldomly have a proper meal too, you think she is not really well. You worry about her.

In the end, because of your persistent she is agree for you to tailing around. There are around 7 big fashion stores of CNR that you need to visit. Jae Hee check everything so thoroughly, the far distance between the stores use up almost 3 hours for the journey. You finally reach the last store.

Jae Hee condition become worse, her step isn't balance. Due to her headache she bump on the high shelf, it makes all of the things on the shelf fall on her body. You run fastly towars her to find she was already unconcious.

You take Jae Hee to the nearby hospital. Once you reach the hospital and Jae Hee got a proper examination you call Ju Min to inform about the incident.

It's almost one hour when a doctor come to see you. Jae Hee is awake. The doctor inform you that she is not suffered any major injury, but she sprains her right hand quite badly. She need to have a full rest for a week before able to going on work again.

Ju Min comes after the doctor left. You are glad that he comes. It is show that he still care about his employee. You inform him about her condition , he is frowning. Doesn't looks so pleased. Both of you come inside to check on her condition.

"What an unsightful condition you make assistant Kang" Ju Min sigh deeply. Rather than worry he looks pissed instead, and you are not comfortable with his respond. Jae Hee only can appologize, and you think she is not in wrong at all.

"I transfer some money as your compensation, you have to be better and available for the business trip." Ju Min demands, she nods quietly, sighing.

"What? Is that everything you can say in this condition?" You are the one who is protesting. Both of them switch their attention on you.

"Didn't I tell you that she need a full rest for a week? Why are you still talking about business trip? Aren't you worry about her? Isn't that your reason for coming here?" You express your irritation towards Ju Min.

"..... I don't know why worrying about her related to business. I only come to compensate her as the employer, because she is injuried on a worktime and workplace. I don't feel that worrying means something" Ju Min become heartless and being the businessman he always is.

"Hyu Ri it's okay.... I am more comfortable if he is not worrying about me, it kinda gives me a goosebump" Jae Hee try to comfort you but she also only taking out of her mind towards him.

"I'll make it a note.... Now what would you do about your condition related to the business trip?" Ju Min asks Jae Hee. She says that she could managed to come with him for the trip, she would find a way.

"I'll go instead of her" you said firmly. Ju Min put his attention to you, asks if you would really go and can you really replace Jae Hee position and job.

"Aren't I in a better condition than her, I can learn about the business content, I'll do my best" you try to persuade him.

You really want to help Jae Hee, she deserve a good rest. All of these times she is the one who always help you , you are really grateful of her. You want to become any use for her.

"I like your confident" Ju Min agrees with your suggestion, but now he thinks about leaving Elizabeth 3rd on Jae Hee cares to take your task.

"No! Let's take her with us instead!" You fastly make a new offer. You try to persuade him that Jae Hee is not in a good condition so she can't taking care of the cat properly, what if Elizabeth 3rd become sick because of that? It's look like he is pondering.

"Isn't one of this business trip is for modeling? If Elizabeth can become a model with you, won't it be cute?" You really try to take him on your side by talking about the cat he adores the most. Thus, he can't reject you. Somehow... He is so pure and easy to be manipulated.