HIS MISTAKES BEHIND FORGIVENESS

A new day, the same boy was there, in front of his little desk, the same but different child among his classmates.

White skin, slightly brown-haired and that pair of beautiful brown eyes is how we can describe him. Meantime, his classmates had skin as white as snow, blond-haired, sometimes curly-haired, other times straight-haired with blue or even green eyes.

The little boy was considered unique in that classroom and not exactly due to his physical, but for speaking two languages at that short age. With his family, he spoke in Spanish and by his surroundings; he made himself understand in English.

Everything in his life seemed to be perfect; his mother loved him, her aunt was willing to give her life for him, his grandmother (who wasn't exactly his grandmother by blood), was the typical grandma who pampered him even when he was wrong; and finally, he had his second aunt (who was not his aunt by blood either) who he played with after school. Whoever who met that beautiful angel would say his life was perfect and of course, he was happy with the life he had. However, there was a little issue he couldn't deal with.

"Joseph!" His teacher called him out at seeing him playing with his classmates, making them get distracted.

"Yes, Ms. Smith?" He responded well-educated. That beautiful pair of brown eyes went wide.

"Did you finish your craft?" The teacher asked while smoothing her voice tone. The least she would've wanted was to scare him.

"Yes, Ms. Smith," affirmed Joseph, politely making his teacher smile. Whoever met Joseph would fall for his cuteness.

"Well done, honey. But remember; not because you have finished the activity your classmates have too."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Smith." He looked down.

"Come here, honey. " She asked, feeling guilty. It was impossible not to feel guilty when he acted like that. Such an angel!

The little boy came to her. His teacher smiled, extending to him a pack of colored sheets. "Choose one, whichever you want."

The boy looked at her and then, he took a blue one. His favorite among all the colors he was seeing. Ms. Smith smiled reaching out a pen which fell on the little boy's hand.

"Go to your desk and write a letter to your father. Go!" She encouraged.

And once again, his little issue was there. Was it so difficult to write a letter to his father? Yes. It was. After all, he didn't have that perfect life that everyone could've imagined he owned.

He walked back to his desk thinking about the task he was asked to do.

He sat down thinking about all he wanted to say. He really wanted to write so much but didn't know how to start.

With a shaky hand, he took the pen over the sheet. Second by second, the pen started slipping on the page, creating words that could come into anyone's heart.

Dad

Hello, dad. How have you been?

I'd like to tell you many things but... I do not know how to start.

You know? I love school; I'm in the first place in my classroom. My mom loves me so much; we have a good life here, in the United States.

I've written to you many letters and every father's day, I go to the nearest mailbox and I send them to you without my mom realizing. I have never understood why you haven't replied to me, maybe it's because I haven't told you how I'm physically.

Daddy, my eyes are brown, my hair is brown too, even though it's not completely straight. My mom says my hair is curly. My nose is pretty and my mouth is small. I like my hands because, with them, I write letters to you. My mom says I have long eyelashes but when I look up, I don't see them.

I'm too tall because I can reach my own bowl and no one has to help me. I like cars, most of my clothes have cars impressed on them. Oh, I also like Batman and Superman. My aunt bought me a hamburger that was wrapped up in a sheet of Batman and Superman. I don't know how to explain that.

I don't know how you are physically, and maybe you haven't replied because I'd never told you how I am.

Now you know, maybe you want to meet me. You'll never get bored with me. I like to talk about all the things that happen to me in my days. My mom says I'm hard to turn off, but what she doesn't know is I talk too much because I've seen her crying alone. I don't want her to be sad. I know when I tell her about my day, she forgets her problems.

My mom is a princess. Maybe you didn't love her before because she had a big belly when I was inside her. Now, she's beautiful, daddy.

Dad, I just want to know something without making you mad at me. Where are you? My mom says you are a prince who has to do many things to keep me happy, but... I can't be happy if I don't know you.

If you are a busy prince, we can go to you. My mom always takes me wherever I want to go.

Remember; I love you even if I don't know you. I'll always be your son and I'll always be here for you. I'll leave my address on the back of the sheet if you want to meet me.

Joseph loves you.

He folded his letter after having written his address behind and sighed. Someday, his father would reply to him... someday. He just had to be a little more patient.

Someday, they will be sitting at the most beautiful park while eating a hamburger.

Someday, he would take his father to the activities that every father's day are prepared at his school to share with their sons and their daughters.

Someday, his mother and his father will be together. Even though, he didn't know when.

Her colorful world fell apart at that moment. Nothing would be the same. Sometimes, trusting someone completely weighs more than the same betrayal. It's not the betrayal that hurts because, in the end, all of us experiment that, what really hurts is the betrayal of that person whom we gave everything. That's the difference. It's not the lie or the mistake, but the lie or the mistake of that person who swore not to hurt us.

The room where Alice was didn't know anything else but sadness and darkness. She had been there for a couple of hours without letting anyone come in, fact that was worrying the two women there; Rosa and Maria.

A beautiful morning like that one hadn't filled with darkness before. Alice had always being a delighting girl, willing to go against whatever hardship that comes to her. She, being a fearless girl had gone through so much at her very short age. Just a 17 year-old girl.

She had dreams like any other teenager but today, everything was vanishing between her hands. She couldn't do anything else but to regret the moment when she was so stubborn to go and look for the person whom she'd given everything.

To say the truth, Alice didn't have people to count on besides her family. In that big house, her older sister, who was already a professional earning money to take care of her little sister doing what she liked the most. Meantime, Alice struggled day by day to reach the dreams she had since their parents died.

In that house, an old friend of her mom lived there as well, an old friend who ended up being like a mother for both girls, and finally, Rosa who was brought by fate for Alice to learn the meaning of friendship.

"Alice, aren't you going to eat? You can trust me. Talk to me; tell me what's going on. It's getting late and you haven't come out of your room. Your sister will be here in any second. What should I say to her?" Maria said behind the door while hoping Alice would open her door.

"Leave me alone! I don't want to see anyone; I don't want to know anything else!" Alice yelled at her with all her inner strength.

It was enough to make Maria feel restless and worried. All she could do was to wait for Alexa, Alice's sister.

In the kitchen, Rosa was as worried as Maria. Her quietness was not normal. Everyone who knew her could affirm that.

"I don't know what's going on with Alice." Maria confessed, coming into the kitchen where Rosa was cutting some vegetables.

"I heard Alice yelling at you. I'm worry too. She hasn't left her room. She hasn't eaten; I don't know what to think..." said Rosa moving around the knife.

"Don't worry, her sister will arrive soon. I'm sure she's going to talk to Alice."

"Can I confess you something?" Rosa asked insecurely.

"Talk, girl, talk and don't make me waste my time with your silly thoughts."

"I don't like the fact that Alexa has to be the one who gets into Alice's thoughts. I think she's tough with her sister. She shouldn't be like that. Alice is a sweet girl. We get along. She confesses me everything, she should be treated with delicacy."

"What do you want after all they've gone through after their parents' death? I don't like how Alexa treats Alice either but, what can we do?"

"I get it but Alice is very sweet and I don't think she has to be treated like that. I believe that's the reason why Alice leans on that boy that comes here frequently."

Maria paid more attention to her words. Those words seemed to be the key of the sadness of Alice. She sensed it.

"Why didn't I come up with that before?" Maria cried leaving Rosa in confusion.

In the mere instant she was running upstairs, the principal door opened. Alexa had arrived and Maria had done nothing to prevent her from a confrontation with her little sister, who was in her room, surely crying like the past few hours.

"Good evening, family." Alexa greeted excitedly.

Once again, at the same time, the same slim figure wearing a black suit appeared. Alexa had arrived. She couldn't help but smiling at thinking there, in the living room, would be her sister receiving her with wide open arms and those bright eyes of hers. A gesture she adored.

No one greeted her back. A little confused, Alexa went to the kitchen just to find Rosa staring at her like she had waited quietly.

"Where's Alice?" Alexa asked, fearing something she couldn't understand.

"In her room," answered Rosa, as nicely as she could.

Without thinking anymore, Alexa went upstairs trying to find out what was going on. Rosa ran after her thinking she could prevent Alice from something.

In front of the door, Alexa found Maria, who, realizing her presence stopped knocking on the door. The three women know very well Alexa's temperament and no one there seemed to want to deal with it.

"What the heck is going on here?" Alexa walked to her sister's room.

"Alice" Maria named, "she hasn't opened the door."

The least she would've wanted was to put Alice in that position, but there was no option.

"Did this girl go crazy?"

Maria backed off to let free the way to Alexa.

"Alice, open the door if you don't want to get in trouble."

"Give her time, maybe she doesn't feel good," Maria persuaded feeling guilty.

"No, Maria! Is she a five-year-old girl to behave like this? I demand you to open the door, Alice!" Alexa continued. "Forget it, Alice. Don't open if you don't want to!"

Alice in her room thought she was free of her sister. She heard nothing for a moment. She felt free to cry as much as she wanted.

Suddenly, when she trusted the most, her sister's heels were heard approaching the door. The sound of keys opening the door assaulted her ears. Alice sat up on her bed hugging her favorite pillow, waiting to see her sister.

"What the heck is going on here, Alice?" Alexa yelled, coming into the room.

"Leave me alone!"

Being that moment the first time her sister talked back to Alexa, she felt like she had lost all control over her sister. That girl couldn't be Alice. She'd always been so kind and sweet. Definitely, Alice was not fine.

Behind Alexa, Rosa and Maria remained silent.

"Don't dare to yell at me!" Alexa pointed out.

Alice took the pillow and threw it to her sister with so much hate that nothing mattered to her at that instant. In disbelief, Alexa looked at her sister. She couldn't believe she'd done that. Definitely, Alice was no longer her little sister.

"Get out of here; I don't want to see you!" Alice insisted. Her tears fell down uncontrollably.

Finally, Maria cut in. She had surely asked Alexa to calm down if it hadn't been for the following words that came out from Alice's mouth.

"I don't want to live; I want to die here, right now! I can't... I can't put up with this anymore..." her voice fell into sobbing.

Maria y Alexa looked at each other like one of them could answer the other's questions. Alexa came back to earth and walked up to her sister who was crying on her pillow. Her long brown hair was a mess.

"Damn it, tell me what's going on?!"

Now, Alexa seemed to be worrier for her sister than the control she had lost on her. Watching the madness her sister had gotten in, Alexa took Alice by her wrists trying to talk some sense into her.

"I hate you, let go of me, Alexa. I want to die!" Alice cried.

"Shut up and come to your senses!" Alexa got her sister up and, with one hand taking his hand and with the other one, ready to slap her.

It was clear that she didn't want to slap her, but it seemed to be the only way to make her come into her senses.

Everyone there remained silent again. Alexa had never seen her sister like that after their parents' death, when they were assaulted and murdered by those thieves.

"Please, Alice, talk to me, "Alexa's tears were about falling down at seeing her sister like that.

Some seconds later, Alice spoke. "Leave me alone, please." She begged.

Alexa had no intention of leaving her alone. Seeing how weak she was, she took it as an advantage.

"Leave me alone with her!" Alexa raised her voice to Maria and Rosa.

Rosa and Maria went out. No matter how worried they were, it wasn't their moment to talk.

"You can trust me, talk to me. I'm here and I'll always be here with you as I promised to our parents."

Alice looked at her sister. She was not lying. It was revealed in her eyes.

With clumsy words, she started talking. "I... I don't understand why people have to be like this. I gave him everything. I just... don't understand," she looked down. "You don't know how much I hate myself; I'm not enough for anyone."

"What are you talking about, Alice?" The older one asked smoothly. She didn't mean to hurt her sister before.

Alexa remembered how much her sister suffered for being who she was.

She just... didn't know what Alice was going through until Rosa and Maria talked to her. Regrettably, that nice personality of Alice ended up being the perfect target for those people who can't bear someone who is different.

"Gabriel cheated on me..." Alice stabbed her own heart with the truth once again.

Alexa understood everything. Just hate invaded her. Knowing her little sister had to go through that for a man like him was killing her. She couldn't get how she had stood there and hadn't gone out looking for Gabriel and punch him until he felt what Alice was feeling.

"He doesn't love me anymore." A tear fell down and Alexa..., There was nothing she could do. No more than feel her pain being hers.

An innocent angel had died that day; an innocent person had been destroyed like all those innocents that came to the world thinking of it as a paradise.

In the end of the day, there was no place for the innocent ones. Their destiny was the same, to hide themselves behind a monstrous mask, that one that everyone loves to see because that's how humanity works; pain before pleasure, pleasure before love, lies before life.

Humanity, they don't deserve the purest feelings that angels are willing to give without mattering how much they hurt themselves to save those souls that had encounter pain before reaching the paradise.

The pain of being betrayed, no one said that pain would cost life after having poured blood tears.

The pain of being betrayed, no one said all angels were destined to face that one.

The pain of being betrayed, no one forgets.

No matter how much Alice expressed her sadness in her words or in her attitude, no one could understand how dead she was feeling.

As time went by and with that time, an explanation of Alice to her sister where she explained how everything happened. Alexa couldn't find the reason why the most innocent people have to suffer more than others, more than those who go back and forth hurting the innocent ones. Why do people look for making this world a miserable place, hurting those who can change the reality of lives just with their presence?

That morning she was heading to her school to hand in her documents to get registered in her last year in high school when an unknown phone number sent a message to her. The message was very clear. If she wanted to find the hidden truth she had to assist to the address that was given at the end of the message. A truth where her real boyfriend was about to be revealed. That boyfriend of hers who was the first one in her life, the first one to give her a kiss, the first one that didn't judge her thin body like others did, the first one who told her she was beautiful, just perfect in the way she was. The first in everything.

With enough doubts to mistrust her boyfriend, but more than mistrust her boyfriend, to mistrust herself, she headed to the address, taking the car that was forbidden to use, leaving behind her dreams.

She just had to go there and realize her boyfriend was the faithful man she fell in love with, and then, everything would be back to normal. It had to be a joke, a joke from one of those who couldn't bear he was dating precisely her.

Alice continued her way, the door of the elevator opened in the third floor of that housing unit. With nervousness she walked to the apartment with the number 302.

Everything was well-set up by the person who made her go there. Alice was just a naïve girl. The door of that apartment was slightly opened, her legs were shaking. The more she approached, the more she wanted to run back.

Finally, she took the courage to open the door, like her senses had told her to do that but, in the mere instant she opened the door, she had just preferred not to have done that.

In the living room of that apartment were Gabriel and a girl kissing as if they had been born just for that.

The pain that man was provoking Alice was not compared to any other before.

Alice could've believed any lie coming out from Gabriel's mouth but her actions, those actions couldn't be denied and if he took that way, it must've been just for a reason. Alice was not enough for him; Alice was not what Gabriel would've wanted.

"Alice," Alexa called her. Her little sister remained silent. "That jerk is going to die, I swear it. I'll kill him-"

"Don't you dare!" She looked at her with pure fury in her eyes.

How come innocent people insist on not to make those who hurt once pay for what they did?

"Do you want me to take a seat and see what else he does to you?"

"I just want you to leave me alone, I don't need you to do anything for me just because I'm the little stupid girl who can't move a finger without her older sister's permission."

That was not the intention of Alexa. She just wanted to let them know that no one has the right to hurt her. Her whole life had been disaster by disaster. Firstly, the bullying in the school, secondly, the murder of their parents and now, a stupid man who was making her sister feel trash.

Alexa preferred to leave the conversation there. She knew if she didn't cover that little hole on her face, her sister would regret to have confessed the truth.

With no more comments, she went to her sister and hugged her like she was not used to doing.

Time went by. Alexa trying to finish her work earlier to accompany her sister in her pain while two women in charge of her. The magic Alice was born with was extinguishing little by little, second by second, day by day. A new challenge was knocking on the door of her life. If only the world knew how much she was struggling to get up every morning and not to fall into the world of madness where the love she still had for him could force her to look for him and bring him back to her heart without caring about the pain he occasioned her once.

She wanted to see him. That was her only truth. Regrettably, her wishes were heard.

After some days eating in her room, that specific day she had decided to have breakfast as she used before the betrayal; with the two women who cared for her the most, an event was about to occur.

When Alice was smiling in the dining room enjoying her meal, someone knocked on the main door. Rosa and Maria looked at each other in confusion, thinking it could be Alexa. So, with that idea in their minds, Rosa went to open the door.

"What did you for-" Rosa's words were cut off by the presence of the person in front of her. "What are you doing here? You're not welcome here!" Rosa raised her voice.

Alice's heart dropped. It was not possible, she had to mishear. Gabriel was there.

"Gabriel." She whispered breathless. That pain and that restlessness were just occasioned by him.

"Go to your room!" Maria declared, realizing about the situation.

"Don't tell me what to do!"

With the courage she didn't have before, she went straight to the living room. She wanted to get answers; she wanted to understand what had made him to do that. She just wanted to bury that pain. She wished the courage she earned didn't leave her halfway.

In front of her, Rosa was yelling at him, when she saw Alice approaching to them, she didn't whom she should stop. Either Alice or Gabriel but it has to be someone.

"Alice, go to your room." Rosa said.

"Leave us alone" Alice asked firmly. Her eyes were burning and as she raised her voice, she felt like breaking into tears.

"I'm sorry but-"

"Leave them alone!" A third voice called their attention.

For the first time since that pain in her heart, Alice felt supported even though she was forbidden to see him.

Rosa stopped her nonsense way to defend Alice. She moved aside to let Alice see Gabriel, but there was no necessity for him to be invited to come in because he had already come in looking at Alice. What Maria was feeling was unbearable. The man in front of them had made her precious treasure cry.

Alice waited for Rosa and Maria to go. Just being in that way, she could talk to Gabriel with the respect he didn't deserve.

"My love, please, listen to me," begged Gabriel.

The pain she was feeling went away as soon as those words came into her heart.

"How do you dare to call me my love after what you did to me?" She spoke confidently.

Gabriel was destroyed. Between her hands, he had brought a bouquet of her favorite flowers. The weakness of any woman.

The puffy eyes of Gabriel declared he had been crying for a while. If only she could know how much he was regretting what he did to the woman he loved despite being just a teenager living his adolescence where almost everyone takes everything for granted.

Gabriel, who was not even in his 20s, had already been gifted that genuine love that everyone looks for. He had never felt what he felt when Alice was near him, but what he didn't know is he will never feel the same. Sometimes, our wishes, those frivolous wishes we asked for to come true someday, came in the moment we don't need them anymore just to prove our love for those who made us believe in love again.

That was the case of Gabriel. Before Alice, there was a woman who made him go crazy just by seeing her walking at the hallways of their school. She had been his dream until she humiliated him as much as she pleased in the ways she pleased too. He always wanted to have something serious with her, but not even in his best dreams she could be true, until Alice turned up into his life. The one whom his family accepted for being such a genuine person, the one who changed his life just by looking into his eyes, the one... he was really in love with him.

As a misfortune, his lost dreams had come true. That woman looked for him. Paloma, what a nice name for a demon! She was the one who planned everything when she realized Gabriel was no longer in love with her because a better person had come into his life.

"I've tried to come several times but your sister hasn't let me see you." He excused himself.

"And, what do you want? Do you want me to receive you with wide open arms and let you hurt me again?" Tears fell down. "I was a stupid. I believed in you. What are you doing here? Are you going to tell me how much you enjoyed kissing her?"

Gabriel cried. The beautiful world he lived in since she came into his life was becoming trash.

"I gave you everything I had, it didn't matter if I owed myself just to see you happy. You meant the world for me when for her; you just were another man in her list."

"I'm sorry, Alice. I'm really sorry, I love you as I haven't loved anyone. Please, forgive me," Gabriel fell onto his knees.

Alice never imagined she would see a man on his knees asking for her forgiveness.

"Please, get up," she begged. She felt no one to make a man act like that.

"I love you, Alice, and I'm not going to stop until I have you in my arms again and forever."

"How much is forever for you?"

"For the rest of my life, I know we're young but what I feel for you is something I know I won't ever feel again."

In that moment, when she felt weak, a question came into her mind. Her heart was screaming his name but she had to know something else. Maybe that affair was just a meaningless mistake.

"Since when... since when have you... been doing this behind my back?" She closed her eyes to bear the pain and... the tears.

"That's not important..."

"Tell me!"

"Alice, please," he looked at her.

"Tell me now!"

Gabriel looked down. "It has been around 5 months."

Too late, she got to know the real Gabriel. He did never love her. He just played fool with her. He didn't deserve her, not even one of her tears. Too late she realized how stupid she had been for crying for a man that never loved her. Maybe he loved the idea of having her body, having her attention but... nothing else.

He was not loving her like she loved him since –maybe– the mere instant she saw him in the library hiding himself from another person. They were from different worlds; they both knew it but continued carrying on with the relationship anyways. Not always a relationship is defined by social classes, by money, by religion; there are even unthinkable things that define the love that is born between two people.

Paloma was not the guilty one there; it had been Gabriel, just Gabriel and no one else.

A love story full of lies had finished, she loved him so much but not even the purest love she could feel for him was going to be able to forget what he did.

A mystery, and always it would be a mystery to know if he hadn't failed her for so long, if it only had been one time, she would have forgiven him. Maybe not, maybe yes. No one knew and the present was different from the one she was imagining.

Alice had realized how wrong she was when she decided to give up on things she would've loved to learn just to be one more minute with him.

She was going to live. She swore to live in that mere instant because, in the end, there was life after him. No one had died of being cheated on, she wouldn't be the exception.

Something else besides death, there is always something besides death and she would discover that soon.

No matter how much she was going to trip over his name, no matter how many sleepless nights were waiting for her, no matter how much memories would stab her heart over and over, she was going to live. She swore that when he heard those words coming out of his mouth.