HIS LOVE HEALS ME(18+)

CHAPTER 1

The room felt too quiet, too still. I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to block out the thoughts that wouldn't leave me alone. Raymond. His name was a whisper that echoed in every corner of my mind, refusing to fade. No matter how hard I tried to forget, every moment with him came rushing back, each memory sharper than the last.

I could still feel his fingers intertwined with mine, the way his thumb would lightly stroke the back of my hand. The way he smiled-God, that smile-it used to make everything else disappear. Now it was a ghost that haunted me. I shut my eyes tight, hoping the darkness would swallow the memories, but it didn't.

"I thought he loved me." The words slipped out, bitter and cold. Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision. My chest tightened as the pain clawed its way back to the surface. I bit my lip, trying to hold it in, but it was no use.

A sob escaped me, louder than I intended. I clutched my pillow, pressing my face into it as if that could muffle the sound, but it only made the ache worse. Before long, I was crying uncontrollably, the hurt pouring out of me like a dam that had finally burst.

I didn't even hear the knock on the door before it opened.

"Ava?" Mia's voice was soft. I felt her presence before I saw her. She and Sophie stood in the doorway, concern written across their faces.

"What do you want?" I snapped, not bothering to wipe the tears from my face.

Sophie stepped forward. "We heard you crying and just-"

"I don't need you hovering over me," I cut her off, sitting up abruptly. "I'm fine. Just leave me alone."

Mia exchanged a glance with Sophie. "Ava, we're worried about you."

I couldn't take it. The pity in their eyes, the way they were looking at me like I was some fragile thing about to break. I was already broken.

"I said I'm fine!" I shouted, shoving past them. I grabbed my car keys off the dresser and stormed out of the room, not bothering to look back. I needed air. I needed to get away from their worried eyes, from the memories that suffocated me.

The cool night air hit my face as I climbed into my car. I sat there for a moment, gripping the steering wheel, trying to catch my breath. But no matter how much I tried, I couldn't shake ths weught off my chest. Raymond's name still echoed, taunting me.

With a shaky breath, I started the engine and drove aimlessly through the streets, hoping the movement would distract me. It didn't. I wasn't sure how long I'd been driving when my phone buzzed beside me. It was Sophie.

I debated ignoring it, but something in me relented. I picked up the call.

"What?"

"Where are you?" Sophie's voice was gentle. "Look, Mia and I are at this lounge. It's quiet. We thought maybe you'd like to join us, just for a drink. Nothing serious."

"I don't know..." My voice trailed off. The last thing I wanted was to be around people, but the thought of being alone with my thoughts was worse.

"Come on, Ava. It'll be good for you to get out. No pressure, just us girls."

I hesitated, but eventually, I caved. "Fine. I'll stop by. But I'm not staying long."

"Perfect! See you soon," Sophie said, sounding far too excited.

The lounge was dimly lit when I arrived, a warm contrast to the cold emptiness that clung to me. I spotted Mia and Sophie at the bar, waving me over.

"Hey," I muttered as I approached, sliding onto the stool beside them. The music was soft, the kind that filled the space without overpowering it.

"You made it!" Mia said, her smile too bright, too forced. She handed me a drink, and I took it, not really caring what it was.

As I took a sip, I looked around the room. More people than I expected were arriving, laughter and chatter filling the air. My grip tightened on the glass. "I thought you said this was just going to be a chill night."

"It is!" Sophie said quickly, exchanging a glance with Mia. "Just... a few more people showed up than we expected."

I narrowed my eyes at her, suspicion creeping in. "You could've told me it was a party."

Mia waved her hand dismissively. "It's not a party, Ava. Just relax. Let's have some fun."

I wasn't in the mood for fun. I wasn't in the mood for any of this. Something wasn't right, and I could feel it. My patience was wearing thin, and I could tell they were hiding something.

After a few forced attempts at conversation, I'd had enough. The walls were closing in on me again, the noise, the people-it was all too much. I pushed back my stool.

"I need some air," I muttered, standing up abruptly.

As I turned to leave, I collided with someone, my drink sloshing out of my glass and spilling all over their suit.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" I gasped, reaching out to brush the liquid off his jacket. My hands moved instinctively, trying to fix the mess.

Before I could finish, a firm hand grabbed mine, halting my movements. The grip was strong but gentle. My breath caught in my throat as I felt myself being pulled closer. My heart raced, my skin prickling with unease.

"It's okay," a deep voice said, calm and steady.

I froze. That voice. It was familiar in the worst way. My eyes traveled up slowly, from the hand holding mine to the face that sent a shiver down my spine.

Raymond.

His eyes locked on mine, a faint smile playing on his lips. My chest tightened, and for a moment, I forgot how to breathe. He hadn't let go of my hand, and I couldn't pull away.

"Long time no see, Ava," he said, his voice low, almost mocking.

The air around me felt thick, heavy with tension. I stood there, weak and helpless, unable to look away from the man who had shattered my heart.

For what felt like an eternity, I stood there, frozen under Raymond's gaze. His hand still gripped mine, and the weight of his touch sent a chill down my spine. It was like I was trapped, staring into the eyes of the man who had broken me, the man I wasn't ready to face.

Finally, I snapped out of it. I yanked my hand free, my heart pounding in my chest. I could barely breathe. Without another word, I turned and bolted, weaving through the crowd as fast as I could. The noise of the lounge faded behind me, replaced by the sound of my own shallow breaths.

I pushed the door open and stepped outside, the cool night air slapping against my skin. My legs were shaking, but I didn't stop. I didn't care where I was going-I just needed to get away.

"Ava, wait!" Sophie's voice echoed behind me. I heard her footsteps growing louder as she ran after me. "Ava, stop!"

I kept walking, my body tense, my mind racing. Why did they do this to me? Why did they trick me into seeing him?

"Ava!" Sophie caught up to me, grabbing my arm to pull me back. I stopped, whipping around to face her.

"What the hell, Sophie? What the fucking hell!" I shouted, my voice breaking with a mix of anger and hurt. "You tricked me! Why would you do that? You knew what this would do to me, but yiu did it regardless"

"I'm sorry Ava! It wasn't my intention to make you feel this way. I didn't want to, but... I thought-no, we thought it would be good for you to talk to him," Sophie said, her eyes pleading.

"Talk to him? Are you serious? Can you even hear yourself? After everything he's done?" My voice shook with frustration. I pulled my arm free from her grip, taking a step back.

"Ava, please." Sophie stepped forward, her voice softer. "I know you're upset. And I'm sorry we tricked you. But just hear me out, okay?"

I crossed my arms, my chest still heaving from the emotions raging inside me. "You have no idea what I'm going through right now, Sophie. And bringing me here, making me face him like this-it's cruel."

"I get it, Ava. I do. But Raymond... he's been trying to talk to you for weeks. He told us everything." Sophie's tone was desperate now. "I'm not excusing what happened. I just think you should listen to him. He... he regrets it. He wants to explain."

"Explain what? That he broke my heart? That he dissapeared when I needed him the most?" I scoffed, wiping the tears that had started forming again. "Sophie, I just can't ... I can't."

Sophie sighed, stepping closer, her hand resting on my shoulder. "Look, I know it seems impossible right now. But maybe hearing what he has to say will give you some closure. If nothing else, you can walk away knowing you gave him a chance to explain."

I swallowed hard, my mind spinning. Part of me wanted to run, to never look back. But another part of me-the part still aching from what Raymond had done-needed answers.

Sophie looked at me, her eyes softening. "I'm really sorry, Ava. I didn't mean to hurt you by bringing you here. I just think you need to hear him out. If he does anything stupid, you can walk away. You don't owe him anything. But at least listen."

I let out a long breath, my heart pounding in my chest. Every fiber of my being wanted to scream no. But there was something in Sophie's words, something that tugged at the broken pieces of me. Maybe hearing him out would finally give me some peace. Maybe it would help me move on.

"Fine," I muttered, my voice barely above a whisper. "But one thing is for sure, if he tries or says anything stupid, I'm out of there. I am not here to gratify his dubm ass ego, and also I am not doing this because y'all want me, I am doing this because I want to, are we clear?"

Sophie nodded, a relieved smile crossing her face. "Of course. We're right here with you."

I wiped away the remnants of my tears and took a deep breath. My heart felt heavy, but I knew what I had to do. If this was the only way to put the past behind me, then so be it.

**************

I picked up a wine glass from a passing waiter and went straight to him. I stood in front of him and looked into his eyes.

"You have until I finish my glass," I said, gathering all my courage together.

"Thanks." He smiled indulgently.

"What for? Please Don't thank me yet," I replied tersely.

"So?" I asked with less care and crossed my hands on my chest.

"I miss you," He said softly. I pressed my nails on my forearm to control my overwhelmed emotions. "Terribly." He added. My nails made a crescent mark on my skin. I took a sharp breath.

"Hey Listen Raymond. I am not here to entertain any of your bullshit. Alright? Lets get right into it" I replied angrily.

"Alright alright . I am sorry. I am just....I don't know how to or where to start." He looked at me sadly. "This is the first time I am feeling this nervous."

"What do you mean you dont know where to start? Oh now you have lost your sense of reasoning." I cocked my brows. "Alright since you can't think clearly, let me help you. Why don't you start with telling me why you did what you did. Uhn? Go ahead, I am listening " I said acidly.

"Alright Ava, if i must go on, can we at least sit down so we don't attract too much attention?" he said calmly.

We went ahead and sat down on two rounded sofas facing each other at the corner of the terrace.

"I know you're angry," he started, his voice low. "You have every right to be."

"Angry?" I let out a bitter laugh. "Raymond, I'm furious. But go on, explain why you did it. I'm dying to hear this."

His jaw clenched slightly, but he stayed calm. "Ava, I didn't leak that tape."

I scoffed, leaning back in my seat. "Seriously? That's your excuse? You expect me to believe-"

"Ava c'mon, why would I want to do you like that? Remember my face was shown too." He said.

"Can you even hear yourself? Raymond! Why do you have a video of us having sex saved on your laptop in the first place? Why? That was meant to be deleted have it was made, not to be saved on your device for so long"

"Ava I know i should have deleted it. But this particualr was just so beautiful. You looked so perfect in it, and I decided to keep it for our pleasure. Unfortunately, my system was hacked, Ava," his voice firm but not harsh. "I know how it looks, but this is the truth Ava"

I narrowed my eyes. "Hacked?"

"Yes. I know it sounds convenient, but it's the truth." He leaned forward slightly, his eyes pleading with me to believe him. "I've made a lot of enemies in the business world-people who would love to see me fall, take over my company, take over my throne as the mafia lord and destroy everything I've built. They targeted me, hacked into my personal files, and leaked the video."

I stared at him, my mind racing. It didn't make sense. "And you expect me to just accept that? You're telling me that all of this happened because someone wanted to tarnish your image?"

"Not just my image, Ava," he said, his voice soft but urgent. "My entire life. My company. My Cabal. My reputation. They wanted to ruin everything."

I bit my lip, trying to keep the anger from bubbling over. "Raymond, that video... it wasn't just you. I was in it. You humiliated me. Everyone saw that, and you didn't even bother to explain. You let me take the fall."

"I didn't know what to do," he admitted, his voice cracking slightly. "I was trying to contain the damage, to figure out who did it, how to stop it. I wasn't thinking straight. But I swear, Ava, I never meant for you to get hurt. I would never do that to you."

I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that this whole nightmare wasn't his fault, that he wasn't the selfish monster I had painted him to be. But there was another wound, one that hurt just as much.

"And what about my brother's funeral?" I asked, my voice trembling. "You promised you'd be there, Raymond. I needed you, and you just... didn't show up."

His face fell, guilt flashing in his eyes. He ran a hand through his hair, looking down again. "Ava, I'm so sorry about that. I wanted to be there more than anything. I know I let you down."

"Yeah, you did," I snapped, the pain resurfacing like it was fresh. "You left me to face the worst day of my life alone. How do you explain that?"

Raymond swallowed hard, his voice lowering to a whisper. "I was dealing with the fallout from the hack. It was chaos. My company was in danger, and people were coming for me-my enemies, the press, everyone. I was fighting to hold everything together, and... I thought I could handle it. But I was wrong. I should've been there for you."

I crossed my arms tighter, my heart hammering in my chest. "You should have."

"I know," he whispered, looking at me with an intensity that made it hard to breathe. "And I can't change what I did, but I'm here now, Ava. I'm trying to make things right. I'll spend the rest of my life apologizing if that's what it takes, but please, believe me. I never meant to hurt you."

I sat there, staring at him. His words were sincere, his explanation plausible, but the pain was still there, sharp and raw. Part of me wanted to forgive him, to let go of all the anger and hurt. But another part of me-the part still bleeding from the betrayal-wasn't ready.

Raymond waited, his eyes searching mine, desperate for some kind of response. I sighed, leaning back in the booth, my expression softening just a little.

"I hear you, Raymond," I said slowly, my voice steady. "I understand what you're saying. And maybe... maybe it wasn't all your fault. But that doesn't mean I'm ready to just forget everything."

"I'm not asking you to forget," he said quickly. "I just want a chance to make it right."

I looked away for a moment, letting his words sink in. Slowly, I nodded. "I'll think about it. I'll think about everything you've said."

Raymond's face softened with relief, but I wasn't about to let him off the hook that easily.

"But don't think for a second that I'm letting you back in just because you apologized," I added, my tone sharp. "You hurt me, Raymond. And it's going to take a lot more than words to fix that."

He nodded, swallowing hard. "I understand."

I stood up, my heart still heavy, but at least now I had some clarity. "Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I need some air."

"Can I take you our for dinner tomorrow?"he asked sharply.

I stared at him and looked away, trying not to let him see me smile. "Well I won't be looking forward to it." I said.

"I will take that as a YES". He said, grinning from hear to hear.

"Whatever!!" I said, shabilly.

I walked away, not looking back, feeling the tension slowly ease off my shoulders. It wasn't closure, not yet, but it was a start.