HIM (I WANT HIM)

" It all started with me and I guess it ends with me, or maybe not", sighed, "Love, love, love....That word is a powerful word that comes with a powerful feeling that can't be erased, destroyed, or shut down no matter what. A powerful feeling strong enough to overcome anything or bring down anything in its way.

All my whole life, I have always searched for love, all because it wasn't given to me by my parents when I was still a kid. I was abandoned at a young age by my parents to my grandparents. Even though I grew up with my grandparents who showed me all the love they could, I loved them but felt distant from them. My grandparents don't know much about me except what they thought changed me, and the fact that I love to be alone, love music, love to write and sketch. Even I don't know if I know myself. I think my grandparents always wondered what kind of person I was or what kind of I became after the incident, even she.

Since I was abandoned by my parents to my grandparents, I made a vow to myself to find love in this world. Love that has no reason. Love that doesn't care who or what you are. Love that will never stop or end no matter what. I promise to create a family of mine where such love with exist.

It was funny at first how someone who loves to keep himself wants to find love in this vast and strange world and not just any love but a rare one. As fate would have it, I didn't get to search for love before love found me.

My dream of love came true. I was able to find the love I was looking for and enjoyed it but it was only for a short while because the love I found seemed to want to be the end of me. I couldn't enjoy the love for a long time before death came knocking on my doorstep. That has made me question whether was it worth it or not. Was love in exchange for my life worth it?

Wait... It wouldn't be good if you didn't understand all that I meant by what I said and am sure you are confused right now. I also know you might have questions. So I think we all should go back to how it started and see where I made the wrong decision. This is how it all started.............".

Blessing was born into the lovely family of Mr. and Mrs. Adewale. Mr. and Mrs. Adewale were a happy couple and they became happier when they gave birth to their first male child, Blessing. They named him Blessing all because they felt blessed when they gave birth to him. They loved and cherished Blessing, and provided every need for him. Mr and Mrs Adewale weren't rich or poor but they lived a happy and loving life.

Blessing was just 3 years old when their family was blessed with a second child and their little family added one. Blessing younger brother was born into the family and was named Bolu. The Adewale family continues to live their simple and happy life as love reigned in their family. Mr. and Mrs. Adewald were happy with their kind and loving sons until Blessing had an accident that changed everything.

Blessing was 9 years old and Bolu was 6 years old when Blessing was involved in an accident. Bolu was playing with fire in the house when Blessing saw him and tried to stop him from continuously playing with fire. While trying to stop his brother who was refusing to stop playing with the fire, Blessing mistakenly gets burnt by the fire. The fire burnt part of Blessing's face surrounding his left eye; his eyebrow, eyelid, cheek, and temple close to his left eye get burnt except his left eye.

Blessing was quickly taken to the hospital by the neighbors who heard his scream from their house and came to check up on him. Blessing was treated in the hospital by the best doctors and he was okay since the burnt didn't affect his actual eye but where he was burnt became a scar that has been imprinted on his face for eternity. Blessing now has a scar surrounding his left eye that he will carry for the rest of his life.

Blessing thought since he had been treated and had forgiven Bolu for his mistake that made him have a scar, that everything should return to the way it once was but it was the opposite. It started at school, Blessing's friends at school stopped playing with him saying his scar made him look ugly and scary, and so did his friends at home.

Whenever Blessing went out with his parents and brother, they were all embarrassed and humiliated because of Blessing's scar. Even at home, Bolu no longer wants to play Blessing and always stays away from him like he is scared of Blessing. Blessing became a shame to his family all because of his scar, even his parents hardly looked at him.

Because of what was happening, Blessing's parents agreed to send Blessing to his grandparents to live with them. Blessing was sent to his mother's father and mother but that doesn't change the love Blessing has for his parents and brother.

4 weeks after Blessing had been sent to his grandparents, Blessing's parents stopped calling nor did they come to check up on him. Blessing awaited his parent's call every day and wished for them to come to see him but they did not call or show up.

Blessing decided to always wear a mask to cover part of his face that was burnt thinking if he did that maybe his parents would show up. Blessing requested a mask from his grandpa and the grandpa bought it for him which he always wore to cover the burnt part of his face because he and the grandma promised to always make Blessing happy. Blessing made sure he never took off his mask unless he wanted to take his bath so people that don't know about his scar wouldn't know about it and so no one would ever get to see his burnt face again.

Blessing was enrolled in a school by his grandparents and he always attended school with his mask on his face. The headmistress allowed Blessing's mask in school after hearing his story.

At school, Blessing couldn't make friends because he always kept to himself thinking no one would want to be his friend if his parents and brother were so afraid of him that they stopped calling and coming to see him. They were those who wanted to become friends with Blessing at school seeing he always sat alone but came with a condition that Blessing should take off his mask and let them see what he was hiding behind his mask. Blessing chooses not to be friends with them knowing once he shows them what is behind his mask they will only humiliate or be scared of him. At school, since no one knows anything about Blessing or what is behind the part of Blessing's face that is covered by the mask, they all assume what they want making some scared of Blessing but Blessing chooses not to mind them minding his own business. Some tried to forcefully let Blessing remove the mask so they could see what was underneath the mask Blessing always wore but Blessing beat them all making most of the students at school afraid of Blessing and always stay away from him.

At home, Blessing's grandparents only knew Blessing to do 6 things; sketch, listen to music, love to write, eat when hungry, sleep when feeling sleepy, and watch TV when he felt like it. Apart from those 6 things, Blessing doesn't do anything in the house or even have conversations with his grandparents, and that makes his grandparents wonder and worry if he is okay or not, and whenever they ask Blessing if he is okay he will always say yes he is.

Blessing's grandparents raised Blessing the way they thought was best for him and bought him things he never asked for like a bicycle and some others because Blessing never asked for anything except the mask. Blessing never said no to things they bought for him even though he never asked for them instead, he thanked them.

In the neighborhood, only a few who come to see Blessing's grandparents know about Blessing and he never talks to any of them. Blessing was known to be an introvert who loved his loneliness and other few things that made him happy.

Blessing's grandparents knew the reason why Blessing became an introvert was because of his parents who stopped calling and checking up on him making Blessing think they abandoned him and no longer loved him again. Blessing's grandparents called his parents telling them to come to check up on him but nothing changed.

Blessing was 12 years and some months old when he finally told himself that there was no way his parents were coming back for him so he had to live his life and forget them too just like they forget about him. All Blessing's parents did ever since they stopped calling and checking up on him was send his birthday gift on his birthdays. Blessing's grandparents never stopped taking of him or wanting the best for him.

One night, Blessing had made sure his grandparents had slept before he walked out of the house so they wouldn't ask him where he was headed at that time. Blessing walked out of the house to his bicycle where it was parked so he could ride it in the city to have a view of the city to clear his head. Just as Blessing got to his bicycle, he heard the sound of crying and wondered who could be crying at that time.

Blessing traced the sound of the cry to know who was crying to a girl whom he saw seated on the ground crying in the next house compound. Blessing looked at the girl crying as she was seated on the ground for some seconds before he turned back to leave and mind his business as usual but just as Blessing turned back to leave, he suddenly felt sad for the girl and had the urge to go meet the strange girl. Blessing wanted to shut off the urge he was having to go meet the girl but the pity and sadness he felt for the girl was a feeling he couldn't shut off. Blessing wondered why he was feeling in such a way for a strange girl he knew nothing about and didn't want to go meet. The way had never felt for anyone except himself. Blessing had no choice since he could not shut off the sad and pitiful feeling he was feeling for the girl but to go meet the girl.

The strange girl was still crying with her eyes closed when he heard someone say to her "no one gives a fuck if you cry or not. So why don't you shut up".

Hearing that, the strange girl stopped crying, opened her eyes and looked up to see who just speak to her and she saw it was a boy of her age wearing a mask on his face that made him look scary in one way but even with the mask, he was also handsome. Seeing Blessing, the girl continues crying out loud minding her business and wanting Blessing to leave her but Blessing says to her "will you sit here and continue to cry for someone or something they don't give a fuck about you, or will you come with me so I can change your mood, and make you happy and smile".

Blessing had no idea why he said that to the strange girl or made him say that to the girl and he couldn't take his words back. Blessing didn't know why he came to the girl in the first place, it was like he had no idea what he was doing, why he was doing it, and why he was feeling in such a way for the girl ever since he set his eyes on her.

Hearing Blessing says that to her, the strange girl looked at Blessing to see if he was the one that just talked to her after telling her to shut up a while ago and he was the one. Then Blessing stretched his right hand forward for the girl to take saying to her "will you stay here and continue to cry or will you let me show you a little bit of my world so I can ease your pain and bring you smile and happiness?".

The strange girl stared at Blessing and his stretched hand wondering who Blessing was and why he said that to her.

The strange girl continued to stare at Blessing wondering who he was, why he had the mask on his face, and why he would say that to her but at the same time, the girl realized Blessing was the only one who had ever said those nice words to her and seems to care about her sadness. The girl thought for a while before she took Blessing's hand and Blessing lifted her off the ground by holding the girl's hand, then Blessing said to the strange girl "come with me", and let go of the girl's hand.

The girl watched as Blessing turned and began to walk forward wondering who Blessing was but the girl chose to forget who Blessing was at that moment and followed him since he promised to make her happy. The girl was about to walk to Blessing when he suddenly saw him stop, turn back, and begin to walk toward her back.

The girl watched as Blessing stopped in front of her and cleaned her tears with his hands then Blessing said with a smile to her "tears shouldn't be seen on a fine girl's face like yours", and he turned to leave.

The girl stared at Blessing not able to say anything to him because she was surprised as he cleaned her tears with his hand and as he began to walk away, wondering if Blessing was an angel that God had sent to her tonight to make her happy. The girl followed Blessing curious to know who he was and how he was going to make her happy tonight.

There was silence between the girl and Blessing as they both walked the city next to each other and at the same time, the girl was glancing at Blessing who seemed to be focused on where he was taking the girl. The girl was mostly glancing at the face part where Blessing's mask covered, and she was eager to know where they were going but couldn't ask Blessing because he was a stranger who promised to make her happy, look like not the playful type which made her wondered why he approached her, and she knew nothing about him.

Blessing stopped in front of an ice cream van making the girl stop too since she was following him. Blessing bought two ice creams from the van, gave one to the girl, and then said to her "come with me", making the girl wonder where they were going if it was not the ice cream van from which they bought ice creams.

Just a few blocks after the ice cream can, Blessing and the girl stopped in front of an abandoned-8-story building having a flat rooftop. The building was dark which they both saw as they held their ice cream, and Blessing told her to follow him then Blessing went into the building. The girl feels reluctant to enter the building because it is dark and is scared of what might happen in there since she doesn't really know Blessing but the girl decides to trust Blessing who brought her here, bought her ice cream, promised to make her happy and seemed nice to her so he wouldn't do anything to hurt her or make her sad then the girl entered the building.

The girl walked through the building's stairs with Blessing and came out to the building's rooftop. Immediately they got to the rooftop, Blessing went to sit down at the edge of the rooftop with his ice cream, licked his ice cream, and said to the girl "You can come to sit with me".

The girl moved closer to Blessing and said to Blessing "what....... are we doing here and why are we here?".

"Are you afraid?........ Well, don't be. This building belongs to my family and here is where I come always to be alone" said Blessing to the girl.

Hearing that made the girl to be relieved of her fears and then she went to sit down next to Blessing, a few paces from Blessing. The girl said to Blessing "thank you for the ice cream", and licked her ice cream.

"You don't need to thank me. I promise to make you happy so the ice cream is just a step to making you happy" said Blessing, licking his ice cream.

The girl smiled licking her ice cream and said to Blessing "and you think the ice cream is going to make me happy?".

"Not really but at least it was able to get you to smile" said Blessing with a smile.

"Oh I see" said the girl with a smile.

"So how is the scene?" asked Blessing with a smile, looking at the whole city.

The girl looked at the whole part of the city that her eyes could capture seeing it to be lovely and said with a smile "It is lovely. I have never got to see much of the city not to talk of seeing it from this height. Am glad to see how magnificent it looks at night".

Blessing looked at the girl to see her smiling as she was looking at the city and licking her ice cream, then Blessing asked her "I was able to make you smile. Did I also make you happy?".

The girl smiled brightly and said "you tried", without looking at him.

"It's good. At least it did small" said Blessing with a smile.

"How were you able to know about this city scene at night?" asked the girl.

"Thanks to my grandpa who thought my knowing about the family properties was a good idea and would make me happy because I might find it interesting. My grandpa showed me the building and I found the scene alone" said Blessing.

"Your grandpa must really love you a lot" said the girl sadly, which Blessing noticed.

Seeing the girl was sad, Blessing said with a smile to her "since my job for tonight is to make you smile. Are you ready for jokes and stories produced and directed by my grandpa?".

The girl finds what Blessing said funny and laughs, and then she says with a smile "Let's check it out".

Blessing spent the night telling the girl jokes and funny stories that made her laugh and showed her funny incidents that happened in the city which both of them laughed at. Both Blessing and the girl have a fun night on the rooftop and the girl finds Blessing loving, caring, and sweet even though his mask makes him look a little scary, he is still handsome.

Seeing it was getting to the middle of the night, Blessing decided to be on his way home and said to the girl "I think I did a good job".

"Yeah. You did more than I expected" said the girl with a smile.

"Since I got a hundred percent, I think it is better I return home now 'cause it is getting late but if you wanna stay here and continue to watch the city, it's fine" said Blessing, and stood up then turned to leave.

Just as Blessing took a few steps forward to leave the rooftop, the girl said to Blessing "Is there a place you think I can spend the night?".

Blessing stopped hearing the girl say that and turned back smiling to see the girl looking at him. The girl wondered why Blessing was smiling at her after hearing her and then Blessing said to her "it seems my mission has not been accomplished yet. I wouldn't want or advise you to sleep here. So you can come with me".

Upon getting to Blessing's house, the girl realized and was surprised that Blessing was a boy who lived in the house next to her house but how come she never knew Blessing when she knew the old man and old woman that lived in the house? The girl wondered where Blessing always be if she had never seen her in the house or with the old woman and mad, or maybe he just got to the house today but that would be impossible because Blessing said the building is where he goes from time to time to be alone.

Blessing took the girl to his room and told her to sleep on the bed. The girl was surprised why Blessing would tell her to sleep on his bed and asked Blessing "where would you sleep if I sleep on your bed?".

"Right here on the floor" said Blessing.

Hearing that made the girl confused and asked herself if Blessing's nature is to be caring about strangers he knows nothing about, making them happy, and If he would even make them sleep on his bed while he sleeps on the floor. The girl couldn't ask Blessing why he would prefer to sleep on the floor but was glad that God sent him to her tonight or else she might have slept outside. The girl said with a smile to Blessing "Why don't you sleep on the bed? I can sleep on the floor", because she was uncomfortable that Blessing would sleep on the floor while she slept on the bed.

"You have only got one choice to make. Either you sleep on my bed or get out of my house" said Blessing bluntly.

The girl was surprised to hear Blessing say that to her, someone that has been nice to her all night and made her happy and smiled all night but that made the girl realize he knew nothing about Blessing who was a strange boy with a mask on his face willing to help her. The girl looked at Blessing and saw he was serious about it, and then the girl said to Blessing "your bed is big enough for the both of us so why don't we sleep together on the bed".

"You won't be comfortable if we both sleep on the bed together. So make your choice" said Blessing, looking at the girl.

The girl knew Blessing was right about her being uncomfortable if they slept on the bed together because Blessing was still a stranger even if he was helping her and seemed to be caring for her at the moment but she didn't think it was good for Blessing to sleep on the floor in his room, what if he did and got sick.

The girl has to choose at the moment because Blessing insists she must and she chooses to sleep on Blessing's bed because the girl knows getting out of Blessing's house means she will have to go to sleep outside or in the abandoned building which is both dangerous which is Blessing brought her home.

Blessing watched as the girl climbed onto his bed and lay down on the bed without using the blanket, then Blessing moved closer to the bed and used the blanket to cover the girl's body up to her neck saying to her " you will catch a cold overnight if you don't use the blanket", as the girl watched him.

The girl watched as Blessing walked out of the room and came back holding a bedsheet and a blanket. Blessing spread the bedsheet on the floor, took a pillow from the bed, lay on the bedsheet resting his head on the pillow, and covered himself with the blanket.

There was silence between the girl and Blessing in the room as their eyes were closed because they were unable to sleep yet, and the girl thought about Blessing. The girl said to Blessing "thank you for tonight".

"You should get some sleep. Tomorrow is another" said Blessing.

MORNING

Blessing's grandma was in the kitchen making breakfast while Blessing's grandpa was in the living room rearranging it when Blessing stepped out of his room dressed in his school uniform and carrying his school bag at back. Seeing Blessing was ready for school, both his grandpa and grandma came to him and he greeted them "good morning".

Blessing's grandparents greeted Blessing back and his grandma said to him "you can wait in the living room with Grandpa while I finish making the food".

"Nah. I won't be eating anything. Am on my way to school right now" said Blessing to his grandparents.

"Why? It is still early. It is not like you are late for school and the food will take a long time before it gets done" said Blessing's grandma.

"And what do I always say about breakfast?" said Blessing's grandpa.

"Breakfast in the morning starts your beautiful day" said both the grandpa and Blessing in a union.

"Which is why you need to have breakfast before going to school" said Blessing's grandpa.

"I never said I am skipping breakfast. Am just not eating home. You guys shouldn't worry about me. I am no longer a kid, I can take care of myself without you. I will get something along the way to school" said Blessing.

"I don't think there is a way we can change your mind about having breakfast at home" said Blessing's grandma.

"Am glad you know" said Blessing.

"Okay. Be safe at school" said the grandpa.

"Bye grandma, bye grandpa. See you guys later" said Blessing, and begins to walk to the front door.

Blessing was close to the front door when he stopped upon hearing his grandpa say to him "you can't just leave like that. You can't forget our morning kisses, they bring you a lovely day".

Blessing's grandparents came to Blessing and they both kissed his forehead and cheeks wishing him a lovely day then Blessing remembered the strange girl in her room. Blessing said to his grandparents "thank God I remembered before I left. Treat her well before she leaves".

Blessing's grandparents were confused by Blessing's words then his grandma asked him "who?".

"She is in my room," said Blessing, and left the house.

Blessing's grandparents were confused by what Blessing said just before he left and went to check his room to understand him better. Blessing's grandparents opened the door to Blessing's room and peeped into the room to see a girl asleep on Blessing's bed which surprised them greatly. Blessing's grandparents closed the door back so as not to wake the girl as they couldn't believe who they had just seen sleeping inside Blessing's room.

A girl asleep inside Blessing's room is the last thing they could have expected to see inside Blessing's room when they knew he doesn't interact with anyone or a friend. Blessing's grandparents thought they might be seeing things so they went back to check on the girl again to meet her in the same position making them realize they were not dreaming that the girl was truly sleeping inside Blessing's room. Blessing's grandparents wondered who the girl might be for Blessing to bring her home and how she got to talk to Blessing and made Blessing talk to her or maybe Blessing had fallen for her, but is that possible for someone like Blessing? Blessing's grandparents thought about a lot of things about Blessing and the girl before they returned to their duty.

The strange girl woke up 45 minutes after Blessing left for school and looked around the room for Blessing but couldn't find him. After checking the bathroom and toilet for Blessing and couldn't find him, the girl walked out of Blessing's room. The girl had only taken a few steps looking around the house after she left Blessing's room when she got to the dining room where she met Blessing's grandparents seated and eating at the dining table.

The girl froze upon seeing Blessing's grandparents which Blessing's grandparents saw. Blessing's grandparents stopped eating upon seeing the girl and the grandma stood up and walked up to the girl upon seeing her froze. Upon getting to the girl, the grandma said to the girl "you don't need to be scared of us we don't bite".

Hearing the grandma say that, the girl calmed herself and Blessing's grandma asked her "Hope you had a great night".

The girl nodded her head as a sign of yes as she was strangely looking at the grandpa and grandma who seemed nice. The grandpa said with a smile to the girl "you can come join us. Breakfast is delicious".

The girl feels reluctant to and says "I don't think I should. I think I should be on my way now".

"Oh. We can't allow that" said the grandma, and took the girl to the dining table.

The grandma sat the girl down on the dining table and sat down beside her saying to the girl "our son instructed us to take care of you before you leave".

Hearing that, the girl knew the son they mentioned was Blessing and she said to them "you don't need to".

Blessing's grandparents smiled and the girl wondered why. The grandpa said to the girl "apart from our son telling us to take care of you, we are also going to take care of you. You were the first person we have ever seen with our son and that he has ever brought home and instructed us to take care of".

The girl was confused to hear that and asked "are you saying he doesn't have friends?".

"Yes, he doesn't which makes you the first," said the grandpa.

The girl wondered if that were to be true judging by what he saw last night. She wondered if it was possible for someone kind and caring like Blessing not to have any friends but that made her realize she knew nothing about Blessing. Blessing's grandparents said to the girl "we have to follow our son's instructions and take care of you because if we don't he might be angry at us and we don't want him to. Our son's anger is one of a kind so please let us take care of you and dine with us".

Hearing that made the girl realize how much the grandpa and grandma love Blessing and would do anything to satisfy him and they also seemed to be caring. The girl has no choice but to dine with the grandpa and grandma.

While eating, Blessing's grandparents were curious to know about the girl so they asked her how she knew and met Blessing, who she is, and did she met Blessing in school or somewhere else. The girl told Blessing's grandparents that she did not know their son nor did their son know her but their son chose to help her last night when he saw her sad and crying alone, and that she had no idea why he helped a strange girl like her.

Blessing's grandparents were surprised that the girl Blessing brought home was a stranger he didn't know but chose to help making them wonder why he did that. Blessing's grandparents also realize that if Blessing could do that, the old him still resides in him and thought the girl must be special for him to help her.

Blessing's grandparents treated the girl well and even got to know her name before she left.

NIGHT

Blessing's grandparents were in the living room watching TV when they heard the doorbell sound then Blessing's grandpa went to the door to check on who was at the door. Blessing's grandpa opened the door and was surprised to see the girl Blessing brought home. The girl greeted the grandpa saying to him "good evening, sir".

"Good evening, v. Hope you had a nice day?" asked said the grandpa.

"Yeah. Thanks for today" said the girl with a smile.

"It's nothing, it's fine. Would you mind coming in?" said the grandpa with a smile.

"I don't think I need to. I just came to check up on him" said the girl.

"You mean Blessing?" Oh he is not home" said the grandpa.

"Is that his name?" asked the girl.

"Yeah but he is not home at the moment" said the grandpa.

"Do you know where he might be?" asked the girl.

The grandpa smiled and said "even though he is our son we hardly know his whereabouts. But you can come and wait for him inside".

"No, it is okay. It was nice seeing you again and say hi to grandma for me" said the girl.

"Goodnight V" said the grandpa.

"Goodnight grandpa" said the girl.

After the girl leaves Blessing's house, the girl thinks about the abandoned building where she went with Blessing which Blessing tells her is one of his family's properties where he goes to be alone, and then the girl decides to go check on him there. On the way to the building, the girl bought a cake to present to Blessing to thank him for his help yesterday.

The girl shouted Blessing's name which she learned from his grandpa as she walked through the building stairs holding the cake in her hand to the rooftop but there was no response. The girl came through to the rooftop and saw Blessing seated looking at the city at the same spot he sat down when she and he came to the building. The girl smiled upon seeing Blessing and moved closer to Blessing and Blessing said to her "who the hell are you that you have the gut to scream my name?".

"Am sorry if I annoyed you by shouting your name" said the girl to Blessing, thinking Blessing was annoyed because she screamed his name making him say that to her.

"What do you want?" asked Blessing.

"I went to check up on you in your house but couldn't find you so I decided to come here to check up on you" said the girl.

"Why are you here?" asked Blessing.

"Am here to thank you for last night and I bought you a cake" said the girl with a smile, and pointed the cake to Blessing to take and she was smiling.

Hearing that, Blessing stood up and turned back to the girl to see her pointing the cake forward toward him as she bowed her head and was smiling. Blessing looked at the girl and the cake she was holding and Blessing said to the girl "I don't need thanks or want your cake, and I only helped you because I was in the mood to, not because I pitied you. What happened yesterday doesn't make us friends or make me like you. You are still a stranger I don't know anything about or want to know. Take your cake and leave. I don't want to ever see you again".

After saying that to the girl, Blessing left while the girl stood dumbfounded. The girl was hurt by what Blessing said making her wonder if Blessing was the guy she met yesterday or not, because the Blessing she met yesterday would not say this to her or act like this toward her. The girl stood in the same position with the cake wondering what she might have done to Blessing to make him say such words to her and rejected her when she thought she had finally found someone who liked her. After a lot of thought, the girl later falls to her knees, drops the cake, and begins to cry.