HELL'S REJECTED CONTRACT

Chapter one

How do we tell the sea that we are drowning on land"

Unknown

No. Please,no.

No. Please,no

I chanted slowly, in my head.

"Ummi? (Mother)" Orion called in a shaky voice slightly shaking her.

"Call the ambulance" orion yelled getting off the bed.

"Hey, wake up woman!" My father called out lazily looking at her with disgust.

In my head I wanted to go and help her. In reality I was frozen by fear.

No no no no no

He killed her.

He killed her.

I am next.

"Get her to the car, let's take her to the hospital" damien yelled, taking the car keys, I didn't know when my feet moved on their own to the car.

Nobody seemed to notice I was there because of the chaos happening around.

damien drove like a madman to the hospital, Orion held her like his life was hanging on her but why?

They watched him torture her every day

They watched him kill her.

Now why are they acting like they care about her now?

We finally arrived at the hospital and stopped at the emergency.

"Get me the doctor" he yelled to no one in particular.

The nurses rushed in with a gurney and an asian-american looking doctor and then all of a sudden it was like a rollercoaster that just couldn't stop.

They were throwing words around as they rolled the gurney. I understood it but I couldn't not comprehend it.

Coronary

V.fib

Asystole

Charge.

I heard the word 'Clear!' come out of someone's mouth and I saw moms limp body bounce slightly on the bed.

I felt like I was slowly drowning and kept trying to catch my breath. She couldn't die, she just couldn't die.

Please hang on ummi.

Please.

"She is not breathing,we are going to take her into surgery now"the doctor yelled as the nurses began to detach the IV tubes.

Everything and everyone was moving but I was frozen in my head and in reality.

In my head all of this wasn't happening but in reality it was.

I watched them stick a tube down her throat as they intubated her.

My eyes widened, holding a panicked look.

Orion and Damien were shoved out of the way as the doctor wanted to take ummi, I don't think anyone noticed I was there.

I wanted to scream and wake up but I literally couldn't.

This wasn't a dream.

I saw realization dawn on their faces that she might not make it.

Orion looked scared

Damien looked shocked

Abbu, yeah and my dad was nowhere to be found.

Orion's eyes were still widened in shock as the wheeled mom's gurney "is she going to be okay?" He asked one of the nurses.

I heard a nurse reply, her voice getting Lower as they moved a distance.

"We're going to do everything we can"

I could hear every beat of my heart as it thrummed in my ears,I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I could barely breath.

Please ummi

Please ummi

Please ummi don't go yet I still need you.

I was aware that I was holding my breath, but I didn't think I could have let it out even if I tried.

Through the window I saw everyone slowly disappear following the direction of her gurney.

Please ummi

I was gripping the edge so hard, I could feel my fingers slowly getting fractured.

I could feel my hands shaking and my entire body was stiffened and I had never been more afraid in my life.

I was still staring at the spot my mom's bed had been. Every bone, every muscle, every limb was still in the moment when the doctor said "she is not breathing".

Through the window I saw Orion talking to Damien and pointing at me.

I froze

I was scared

I was worried

I was numb

Damien looked over at me, his face expressionless. But in his eyes held a hopeful look.

I was aware of him slowly walking into the one deserted room as he crouched down in front of me.

He stretched out his hand to touch me but I flinched and closed my eyes tightly

I kept reciting in my head

He won't hit me, he is not abbu

He is not abbu

He is not abbu

"She is going to be fine," he said, giving me a firm look.

She is going to be fine

she is going to be fine

my breath quickened, my heart raced but i could breath.

I closed my eyes and chanted as he pried my hands off the edge.

I wanted to relax but I couldn't.

Don't leave me ummi.

Please don't leave me.

My heart already told me that there was no use.

I knew it was time for her to go, Allah has called her home.

But I still wanted to have hope, I still needed something to hang onto.

But sometimes we keep holding on to things we should let go.

The room where my mom was taken opened after hours. A doctor came out and looked at me and my brothers before "Are you her family?"

My Orion nodded "we are her children"

The doctor looked at me, his eyes softening, "are you Zeynap?"

I nodded my eyes watering again"y-yeah"

"Come in" he said urgently, moving to make way for me to enter the room.

" Your mom has been asking for you since you woke up"

I rushed into the room bumping another doctor on my way in.

My mama was lying on the hospital bed, an oxygen mask attached to her face. Her eyes were closed as she laid still. "ummi!" I cried, gripping the edge of the bed "ummi!"

Why was this happening? What did I do to deserve this? Tears started spilling down my face. Suddenly my mom turned her head, opened her eyes and smiled at me.

"Mama," I whispered, my voice shaking.

She smiled at me moving her hands towards me. Her face twisted in pain. I quickly brought out my hand to grab her hands, with her other hands she managed to pull off her breathing mask.

"Zeynep, " she whispered.

My heart sank upon hearing her weak voice, I squeezed her hands while being blinded by tears.

"ummi save your strength" I told her not knowing what to say.

"When you recover then we can ta-"

"I love you baby"she said, interrupting me, her voice just as shaky as mine.

"I love you to mama" I responded trying to smile at her "when you get out of here we can read allahuma ln as alukal jannah so that jannah will ask of us mama"

Mama smiled weakly " I don't...... think I will be able to go"

"Don't say that mama"

"Your abbu, how is he?

I froze at their question.

Fresh tears sprang to her eyes and I smiled at her.

"Tell him" she paused to take a deep breath " tell him I forgive him and I still love him"

"You tell him yourself mama" I demanded, raising my voice a few octaves.

Ummi laughed weakly but it was So quiet that I could barely hear it, I felt her grip on my hands loosen.

I forced the lump in my throat down,wiping my tears with my free hand so I could see my mom clearly. Her eyes were dull and she was gazing into nothingness.

"I'm sorry"

That was the last thing she said suddenly everything went quiet besides the beep that suddenly filled the room, I was shocked by the sound.

Doctors rushed about and I stood still staring wide eyed at my mother's motionless body.

The beeping sound went away, followed by the frantic shouts, but those too died away.

A deafening silence filled the room once more...

"Call it...."

A sob escaped my lips and I fell to my knees, I cried out holding my dead mother.

It hurts

I couldn't breath

I wasn't just crying for my mother, I was crying for myself as well.

I just lost the most important person in my life.

As we stood in the cloudy weather, heavy raindrops were beating down on us. The tension in the atmosphere built up as we looked down.

I shivered in my jacket as rain droplets drenched my body before hitting the soggy soil beneath me.

Orion tightened his fists together, and his jaws clenched, like he was feeling the chilliness on his skin.

I couldn't feel my nose or the tips of my fingers, but I didn't care.

No one was around us as we stood before a grave.

I opened my clenched right fist, revealing an austere ring decorated with numerous diamonds. It held no financial value, but mama and I adored it.

Tears suddenly poured down Damien's cheek. His eyes were red as he sniffed. I didn't know what he was thinking or what he was planning to do?

Orion said , "I'm sorry," breaking the silence.

My expression was covered in a mix of anger and sadness. I knew he wasn't apologizing for something he did, but rather something that had transpired.

I wanted to throw the ring as far as possible, but I didn't. I couldn't do it; it meant so much to me, no matter how angry I was. I couldn't let myself be unreasonable; if only there was a way to turn back time, I would.

The grave before us belonged to our mama.

"How do you write a eulogy for someone you weren't ready to say goodbye to?"

Goodbye mama

"Why do you like thunderstorms?"

"Because it shows that even nature needs to scream sometimes"

by EB

Zeynep Pov

They say everything happens for a reason.

I don't know who "they"are but I know it is said that:there is a reason for everything, good or bad.

Three years ago, I might have disagreed but as I crouched down looking at myself in the puddle.

I couldn't help but understand the saying.

When ummi died I was completely and utterly devastated, I was scared and I thought that I wouldn't be able to live life without her.

Guess what I was right.

That's when I started my uncontrollably suicide attempts but Allah didn't want me.

But then I remembered the verse mama always read to me.

Allah didn't abandon me,nor did he forget me (93:03 Quran)

But it was all a lie,he too abandoned me.

He left me when all I have ever done was to be devoted to him, I never strayed even when I had reasons to.

I recited my shahadah everyday to keep my faith strong.

I recited the subhan allah wa bihamdihi 100 times a day so that my sins will be forgiven both the ones I know and know not about.

I never removed my hijab, I always kept my hair covered.

But he still forsaken me. Am I that dirty?

Mama I thought you said you will always look after me?

Mama do see what papa is doing to me?

Mama, he beats me everyday.

He turned me to a maid

He stopped me from going to school.

Mama he is going to kill me soon.

Mama, Farhan and Ridwan just watch him while he does it.

Mama, are you in jannah?

I miss you.

I curled out in the corner; every inch of my body was my pain.

I could tell my arm was broken and I had a few bruised ribs.

The beaten has gotten more worst since mama died

He started to inch closer and closer to me; his eyes burning with anger,I had no idea what I had done this time but then again I usually never did anything wrong.

"Papa please am sorry" I begged as he inched closer.

He lifted her hand and the next thing I knew I was doubled over with a burning pain in my left cheek.

I couldn't help the tears that had started to fall down my face.

I curled up into a ball as my sobs got louder, usually I would keep myself from crying until I was in the safety of my bedroom but this time I couldn't help it.

"Help....me ...mama" I whimpered

Leaning down he grabbed my shoulder "stop bawling" he said throwing me against the wall with a loud thud.

"Your mama is gone you stupid child"papa shouted, spitting on me before he left

I laid down because I couldn't stand up. I think my ribs were broken this time around making it harder for me to stand up so I cried there until I fell asleep on the ground.

"Zeynep, where is my food?" I froze but and immediately tried to stand despite the the pain in my ribs which had gotten worse than usual.

He is not supposed to be home by now.

I have not prepared anything.

He is going to beat me again.

I struggled to stand up to greet him before he got angry again.

He was already seated on the dinner table waiting for his food.

"Welcome home papa" I said, looking down because papa said he doesn't like seeing my face.

"Where is my food?" He said already getting irritated.

"I- It is not yet read I was abo-" beforehand I could complete that statement I felt a sting on my cheeks.

"You can't do anything huh?, you were doing what?" He said as he threw continuous slaps at me.

I couldn't speak not because I was in pain but if I spoke back it would make my situation worse and I didn't want that, I still have not recovered from the last one.

" Oh you can't speak now you whore" he said, spitting in my face and he punched me in the guts making me fall to the ground.

"You will sleep in the basement today" my eyes widened at that and I started shouting, I prefer his beating than me sleeping there.

"No papa, papa please, I will prepare your food now, papa please, " I screamed and with that he stopped dragging me by my hair and dumped me on the ground.

"Stupid child just like your mother, go and prepare my food for me" he said with his tone laced with malice.

I tried to get up but fell back to the ground because of the pain in my ribs. I tried to get back up and fell again.

I felt someone drag me by hair making my headache worse "since you can't get up let me help you" he said dragging me to the kitchen on the hard floor making me cry more.

"Hurry up and serve my food or you will sleep in that basement Tonight"

"Y-yes sir"

He left the kitchen and I watched him as he left and saw my brothers just looking at me with pity but when they saw me staring at them they left.

Papa is a police officer here in Mumbai.

He protects everyone but I guess his job description does not apply to me or mama.

He said he never wanted a girl child. That a girl child was a disgrace.

He said am not his child that mama took in for another man .

Because he said he can not produce a girl because his father only had boys, his father's father had boys that I can't be this child.

What made matters worse is that I don't even look like him.

I don't have the regular black hair and eyes that all Mumbai girls have.

I have brown curly hair and two different colors of eyes (heterochromia) which is different from what Indian girls are usually described as.

This difference has always made me the target of bullies. Even my brothers that I thought would protect me were part of the people that mocked me the most.

Being different isn't always a good thing. I know that now.

Chapter 3

The rain outside was cruel but it felt like it was crying with me.

Every crack of thunder seemed to match the beating of my heart, the trembling of my body.

Abbu had left me in the kitchen after the last round of slaps, but it still felt like I was being slapped

I worked as fast as my aching body would allow.

My ribs were on fire, and my vision blurred from the pain.

Every movement was a struggle, and every breath felt like knives stabbing into my side.

But I had to finish preparing his food. If I didn't, I knew what would come next.

Farhan and Ridwan were nowhere to be found now, as usual.

They had seen enough to know better than to intervene.

They left me alone with the monster we called father, always watching from the shadows but never daring to lift a finger to stop him.

It was easier for them, I suppose, to pretend nothing was happening.

Abbu never lays a hand on them he treats them like his children because he says boys are the real price of the parents

I shuffled over to the stove, gripping the counter for balance, trying to keep the tears from falling. But they came anyway. Silent, uncontrollable, they streamed down my face as I stirred the pot, hoping Papa wouldn't notice if the food was late by a few more minutes.

But fate never worked in my favor.

Abbu's footsteps thundered down the hallway, and I froze.

The sound sent a cold chill down my spine.

I heard his heavy boots stop at the door. A second later, it swung open with a loud creak, and his shadow filled the kitchen like a dark omen.

I didn't dare look up.

"You're slow," he growled. His voice was low and dangerous, the kind that sent my entire body into a paralyzed state. I swallowed hard, my throat dry, trying to speak.

"I'm sorry, Abbu.... It's almost done." My voice cracked under the pressure of the fear curling inside my chest.

He said nothing, but I could feel him watching me, like a predator sizing up its prey. The room felt like it was shrinking, suffocating me with his presence. I kept stirring the pot, faster now, trying to ignore the sharp pain stabbing at my side. The food was nearly ready, just a few more minutes.

Just a few more seconds...

But abbu was never a patient man.

Without warning, he lunged at me, grabbing the back of my neck.

I gasped as he yanked me away from the stove and slammed me into the counter. My ribs screamed in agony, and I bit my lip to keep from crying out. He leaned in close, his hot breath on my ear.

"You think you can waste my time, huh?" His voice was a hiss, dripping with venom. "You think you're special?"

"I-I'm sorry," I whimpered, barely able to breathe as he pressed me harder against the counter.

"You're worthless," he spat, his grip tightening around my neck. "Just like your whore of a mother."

He threw me to the ground with a force that knocked the wind out of me. My body crumpled against the cold tiles, and for a moment, I couldn't move. The pain was unbearable, but I knew better than to stay down. Slowly, I tried to push myself up, but Abhu wasn't finished yet.

He kicked me in the side, right where my ribs were already bruised. I screamed this time, unable to hold it in. The pain was too much and I felt my ribs break. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. My entire world was in pain.

"Shut up!" Papa barked, kicking me again. "You think anyone's going to help you? You think anyone cares about a little whore like you?"

I curled into a ball, trying to protect myself, but it didn't matter. He kept kicking me, over and over again, until I thought I would pass out from the pain. My vision blurred with tears, and I prayed for it to end.

But then, suddenly, he stopped.

I didn't dare move, didn't dare breathe. I could hear his heavy breathing above me, feel his eyes on me. Slowly, I looked up, and what I saw next sent a new wave of fear through me.

His eyes... they weren't just angry. They were hungry.

"Get up," he said, his voice low and threatening.

I couldn't. My body wouldn't let me. But he didn't care. He grabbed me by the hair and yanked me to my feet, dragging me toward the table. I stumbled, my legs barely able to hold me up, and I tried to pull away, but his grip was iron.

"Papa, please..." I begged, panic rising in my chest as I realized what he was about to do. "Please, don't..."

He didn't respond. He shoved me onto the table, face down, and I heard the sound of his belt being unbuckled. My heart stopped.

"No! Abbu, please!" I screamed, thrashing under him, trying to get away. But he was too strong. He pinned me down with one hand, and I felt his other hand tugging at my skirt.

I thought I was going to die. I thought this was the end.

But then, a loud knock echoed through the house.

Papa froze. Another knock, this time louder, more insistent.

For a second, everything was still. Then, he cursed under his breath and let go of me. I fell to the ground, gasping for air, tears streaming down my face as I curled into myself, shaking.

The knocking continued.

Papa stormed out of the kitchen, slamming the door behind him. I could hear him cursing as he stomped toward the front door, his heavy boots echoing in the hallway. I didn't move. I couldn't. My entire body was trembling, and my mind was reeling from what had just happened.

I didn't know how long I lay there, waiting for him to come back, waiting for the next blow. But he never returned.

Instead, I heard voices from the front door. Someone was talking to Papa. The words were muffled, but I could hear the tension in his voice. Whoever it was, they were keeping him distracted.

I took the opportunity. With every ounce of strength I had left, I dragged myself to my feet and stumbled toward the stairs to get to my room and locked the door .

I fell to the ground after locking the door. My body was too weak to carry me to my bed.

So I laid there, my body wracked with pain and fear, l knew that I would never be free from the horror that had become a sad reality.