Freedom Again

PROLOGUE

The world has changed, that is what I have to say.

Life goes on? However, why does it feel like mine has stopped a decade ago when I was just an innocent girl looking for nothing but happiness? A lie, that is what it is, I wish I was still the same at least I had a place somewhere; I belonged to a certain category. what about now? I do not know anymore.

I looked at my own reflection in the mirror, empty eyes and a blank face, a dark aura and a girl that I no longer recognize. I closed my eyes and remembered the only person I am certain would have been disappointed

********

"Honey, get down here. Your dad has a surprise for you" shouted my dad from the living room.

He is here, my father is home.

I run down the stairs excited to see my, I long for him. He is a fireman and has been away for three days. I know for some people it would be normal, but for me, No!!!

I adore my dad, he has been here for me since the day I was born, for a whole 13 years he never said no to me. He treats me like a princess, and took care of me, my mom is a surgeon so she is rarely home, I spend most of my time with my daddy.

I saw him sitting on the couch in the living room holding a sky blue box, while tapping his foot on the ground impatiently.

One thing My Father dislikes is waiting, and well I made him wait.

I bounced on him hugging from behind. Tightly letting him know I missed him so much. He turned around and looked at me, chuckling softly while patting my head.

"Oh, your daddy misses you too, princess" he said while grabbing my hand making me sit beside him.

"I missed you so much, papa". I said while hugging him close to me, putting my head on his broad chest.

He put his finger on my chin making me look at him, he smiled.

"Your daddy was busy saving other people's lives, my dear princess. But he got something for you, and he is pretty sure you will like it," He said while pointing at the blue box that I saw him holding earlier.

"Really, is that for me? You didn't have to bring me something dad, all I want is your presence beside me, since mom is never free even on a Saturday night" I said sadly, knowing that this is a sensitive topic for both me and dad.

"Your mom is doing that for you, honey. So you can have the life you always dreamt of. Now open the box." He told me while giving me the box.

I smiled at him, and opened it.

My god there was the most gorgeous necklace ever. It was a silver necklace with a teardrop pendent. It was so simple, yet so beautiful, just what I like.

I felt tears streaming down my face, I was so happy, such a beautiful thing for me.

I hugged my dad so tight while sobbing on his chest.

"Thank you so much, dad. I really like it. "I said shakily, my voice hoarse from crying.

Even if he was busy, he never forgot about me. I am really lucky that I have such a father.

Please god; please don't let him leave me forever.

He smiled at me, wiping away my tears and said the sweetest words ever.

"You deserve the world princess, don't ever take it off. Whenever I am away from you, look at this and remember your father is always with you."

***********

I soaked my shirt with tears I should have never shed, I failed, I don't deserve to cry nor grieve over promises that are long forgotten. He promised he will always be with me and I promised I will follow his lead, the path he paved for me.

Two strong promises that got easily broken, he left me all alone in this cruel world and I failed him into becoming a person I don't even know anymore.

"Honey, wake up." a soft tender voice told me.

"It's time for you to wake up, dear." It said again.

Who is it? Who would wake me up with such tenderness? I opened my eyes and saw her sitting beside me on my bed, a soft look on her face.

My mom.

Her long silky hair is in a messy bun, her soft green eyes that always held that look of care within looked dull and tired, dark circles around them, dressed in a white shirt and jeans she flashed me a smile making a similar one curve on my face.

Oh, how much I missed her?

She just arrived from work tired and sleepy. Yet, her tenderness is always there. If only she knew, how her absence turns my life into a nightmare.

"Good morning, my princess. It's time for you to go to school," she said, scooting closer to me, planting a kiss on the top of my head.

I have to go to school, this sentence kept circling in my head, why does life have to be this cruel? Why do I have to leave on my mom's free day?

I smiled at her, loving the soft yet heartwarming touch of hers.

"Dear?" she said,

"Hmm," I replied. "It's been so long since I last saw you," She said, tears dancing in her eyes. I looked away from her broken stare, I took a deep breath before saying,

"Yes, mom. It's been almost a month," I spoke.

If only she knew how horrible it was, a month of tears and helpless cries, of sadness and nightmares.

"I am sorry I was so busy at the hospital," She looked down, ashamed to meet my eyes.

"It's okay, remember what my dad always tells you when you say that," I said, smiling at her.

"What matters is the number of lives you saved," she said, tears streaming down her face.

"Yes, so don't worry about me, Mom," I said, squeezing her hand.

"If it's okay, why do you seem so sad then?" she replied, I closed my eyes, holding back my tears.

"I just miss you that is all." I lied.

"I miss you way more, my dear." she grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug.

Oh god!

We started sobbing into each other's arms, a mother and her daughter, both hiding unrevealed secrets.

"Now, you have one hour to get ready. I am driving you to school," she said, pulling back, wiping her tears.

"Mom, can I stay with you today?" I said, hoping she would say yes.

Wishing she would save me from another nightmare.

"Honey, I wish you can. But you have school. I promise I would make time to come home this weekend," I looked down at my hands defeated; knowing she always says that, but ends up coming back after another month.

"Now get ready, and come to eat some breakfast, me and Ayman will wait for you." I flinched at the sound of his name.

Uncle Ayman. My stepdad, the man my mother considers a hero while all he really is a waking nightmare is the reason I wish I would never live to see the next day.

She flashed me one last smile before heading downstairs leaving me shaking to face the devil that would wait for me for sure, so he can ruin my day.

I made my way to the school entrance ignoring the stinging feeling in my heart; it was always like this, yet I don't know why today is different, I feel like something terrible would definitely happen. I kept walking ignoring the stares people give me, and then the unexpected happened.

Did you ever ask yourself these questions?

Why does everyone I got close to leave me? Am I the reason? Do I have a fatal disease that drives every person away from me?

Well, I never wondered about such things until this moment.

I stood there looking at my one and only childhood friend, Tania, as she jokes and laughs with the most unexpected people, the people that made my life hell.

I felt my heart pang, disappointment, treason, and hurt. That is what I am feeling right now.

Is that a new feeling? No.

Did I expect that? Absolutely yes.

I was always wondering when she would tire of me and my pathetic excuse of life as they all did. Every time I think I made a friend, they leave and side up with 'them'.

Tania was different. She was my savior, my shoulder to cry on, and the person who always catch me before I fall. She was my only hope, the person who cleans up my wounds after being beaten up; she used to cry all night while looking at my miserable state.

Now, she left to leave me all alone in such a pathetic state. I wanted answers from her. Yet I can't ask, I wanted to cry and shout at her, tell her what did I do for her to leave me like all the others, but I knew better, I can't.

If I taught one lesson, it is never let them know they are getting to you. If I cry, I will break down in front of the people that made me like this. A coward that is what I would look like, desperate and miserable, that would only bring the unbearable pain I buried inside for four years, and he would not be proud.

"Look, look, she is here," Shouted Melissa, the person who started it all.

Ignoring her, I carried on walking, hoping she will just let it go. I stopped dead in my track when I felt something hard hit my head. I winced in pain. I looked at the ground, seeing a rock fall down just below my feet. Turning around, I was met with a completely different Tania.

Her face is full of makeup, wearing a tight short black skirt with a white t-shirt tucked inside, a black leather jacket to finish the look. What shocked me wasn't that?

It was her golden hair that was let down uncovered, her scarf gone. I must admit she looked gorgeous. However, this wasn't her. The shy hijab Tania was gone.

My tania is no longer there, she eyed me up and down, and cringed. That made me close my eyes, what happened?

"Oh, look who showed up," she said, the look of disgust still on her face, same buddy same.

I was just as disgusted as she was. Her outfit was way too revealing and her headscarf missing, wearing a hijab and pulling it off. I mean who does that. I swear I would have respected her choice if she isn't staring at me like that it's her life, not mine, however, the stares she is throwing my way to tell me otherwise.

"I guess you are too shocked that you forgot how to talk," she said taking a step towards me.

I rolled my eyes and turned on my heels to leave. Never waste time with fools.

"Oops, I think I am not done with you yet," she said grabbing my hand.

I glared at her and brushed it off, only for her to grab my headscarf.

I turned around quickly.

"What's wrong with you?" I yelled, fixing my scarf. However, she didn't pull away.

She turned around to the group of girls she was with, smirking.

"Oh, you think I would always be that the pathetic friend of a piece of dirt likes yourself?" She said her attention on me now.

"Poor you, you think you are something special, huh? God, what was I thinking being a friend of a disgusting item like you?"

An item?

Oh god, to say she was like a sister to me, God please have mercy on me.

I bit my lip to stop tears to fall. I can't let her see me cry, not after showing her true colors.

"Listen here, you bitch, don't look at me like you are the victim. Who can blame them? Do you not look at yourself in the mirror?"

Not her too. She can't be doing this.

"Or, oh did your stepfather break it?" she said mockingly, my eyes widened, she can't be doing this, she just can't

She took it too far.

"Did I hit a nerve?" she said smirking,

I blinked; I could not believe my ears.

NO, NO, No! My eyes sting, my heart aching, I think I am going to faint.

How cruel would my life get?

Ignore Karima! She doesn't deserve this, my subconscious told me; I need to ignore her indeed.

I exhaled, turning around, but this is not the end, she grabbed my headscarf and pulled it off.

This cannot be happening; she cannot do this to me.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I shouted, covering my hair with my hands, tears streaming down my face now.

I shoot her a dangerous look. While all she did was smirk, she throw my scarf at the people, far away from me.

I hurried and ran toward him, only for him to throw it to the ground stepping on it.

"You don't need it, your hair is beautiful," he said mocking me; they knew the meaning of it.

They knew I was a Muslim. They knew it was a necessity. Yet, they did this.

I fell to the ground my long hair falling from the bun, making the situation worse, I wish this ground would open and swallow me.

I tried to yank the scarf from his feet, but I could not. Many took off their phones recording the whole thing. While I was, numb. Everyone saw me and my hair, I was trying my best to respect my hijab and do all that it needed to be done, and now nobody just came and took it off, my dignity, my respect.

Why does it have to be like this? Why should we good people suffer and endure all this? Everyone was laughing when I finally succeed to pull the scarf away from his feet, all stained with dirt.

I pulled on my head, standing only to look at Tania, a smug look on her face.

"You will regret this, we both know you will," I said before running to the girl's bathroom to protect any pride or dignity left my heart beating fast, I felt like shit.

What I feared happened, I am doomed.