Forbidden Love With My Husband's Billionaire Cousin

Camille's

I have been holding this for too long.

For so long I know I will go crazy if I don't come clean and tell James about my intentions even when I know very well that it will upset him at first.

But I can't help it, I can't keep bearing this cross alone.

I want a baby, and my husband has to know about it.

It's been eleven years and even though our love for each other is more than any woman can ask for, I still want a child to rock in my arms and also proof to my family that I can really bear a child.

I don't even want to talk about them now, I don't want to talk about the insults and threats I have endured all these years from James' family, especially his mom.

Urgghh! That Bitch.

The very thought of it made me recoil with pure hate, and I shook my head to clear the thoughts from my mind.

'Are you okay love?' James' deep voice washed away every thought in my mind and it took me a moment to remember what exactly I had been thinking of.

Oh yes! Having a baby... and planning your mother's funeral. I thought briefly.

My heart started to pound as he kissed me and took the cup from my hand to sip some coffee, I wasn't sure any longer if I should tell him about my plans.

A plan that had birthed in my mind since the day I held my best friend's baby in my arms, which was three weeks ago.

'I am good, just have something I want to talk to you about' I say quickly before I have any more chance to contemplate on it any further.

He scans my face briefly to detect if this is some bad or really bad news, but I keep a straight face until he holds my hands and invites me to the dining table.

He's already dressed in tight jeans and a blue polo, the fading black baseball cap only covers a part of his brown hair which he hasn't cut in a while – his new job at the community center has been taking quite a lot of his time.

Even the time he always has for me...

'Talk to me love, what's going on? Did mom stop by again?' He asked with deep concern in his eyes and I wished that the small world we had built for ourselves was made complete with little us filling the space.

'No she didn't' I assured him and continued quickly before he could say something else.

'I want a baby James, I need my own baby' I held on to his hand which still clutched mine and waited with a pounding heart for a response.

'But we've tried Cam-' he's upset, he only calls me Cam when he's upset, frustrated, tensed, every other time but when he's in a good mood '-the doctors have assured-'

'No James, this isn't about the doctors or the test, this is something else' I paused to look at him, his eyes fixed on me in anticipation.

'I want us to adopt a baby James' I finally said and watched his face slowly cloud with different expressions as realization dawned on him.

I tried to hold on to his hands but it kept slipping away and the pounding in my heart worsened.

He got up from where he started opposite me and paced the kitchen which suddenly felt so tiny, removing his cap to run his hands through his full hair.

I just sat there, waiting, but one thing is for sure, whatever I was waiting for wasn't going to be positive.

And it broke my heart in ways I didn't realize a heart could be broken even before he said any words.

'Why Camille? Why?' he finally asked, still avoiding my eyes. 'Are you sure mom has nothing to do with this? Talk to me Cam, talk to me please' but he didn't even wait for me to say a word before he rambled on.

'We can't adopt a baby Camille, I don't know what has gotten over you but we can't do that. No way' he said with finality and finally turned to face me. An expression crossed his face so quickly before I could register what it was.

Was it guilt? Was he hiding something from me?

'You think I am crazy to want a child after eleven years and at my age? Is that what you think of me now?' I tried really hard to maintain my tone, but I could slowly feel my breath shaking and my voice getting dangerously higher.

He looked away and rested both hands on the sink at the far end of the kitchen, his hair all falling to the front as he bent his head to splash water on his face.

I waited for him to explain what he meant by something getting into me like it was normal for couples to remain childless for years even when the doctors kept assuring them time and time again of their perfect health. Like I was crazy for wanting what every woman wants and lives for, or wasn't having children part of the reason why we got married in the first place?

'What do you want me to tell my mom Camille? By the way I can't stand raising another man's child, I want mine and I don't care how long that takes'

So this is what this is about? pleasing his mother, putting her first as always. Does he think I have all my life to bear children? has he heard of menopause?

'Now it's about your mom and not how I feel. Really?' My voice drops to an inaudible whisper.

'Common Cam, you never liked the woman, but she's still my mom and I still have to consider that'

I looked at him and wondered why I had found the very close relationship he had with his mother charming. Thinking about it now, it disgusts me.

'Fuck you James' I spat out and stormed out of the kitchen, my whole body shaking with pain and disappointment.

Seconds later, I heard the front door slam short.

Thinking back to that moment now, I wish I had never let him leave that way.

MY LIFE IS DOOMED...

Camille's

'Hello, am I speaking with Mrs Camille Parker?'

That very question will hunt my mind for the rest of my damned life.

The call came in while I was preparing dinner.

James had been away for the past seven hours and I was getting worried.

Although work kept him away most of the time, he never came back late, he never stayed out for so long.

Where could he have been? Is he so mad at me that he wouldn't mind staying out longer? Is this him trying to punish me for bringing up a discussion?

He hadn't even left the house with his cell phone, probably forgot it in his rush.

Oh God, whats going on? What have I done?

I hurried to answer the call, wondering who was calling and why.

Was it something to do with James?

When the caller announced later who they were, my breathe caught in my throat, waiting to know why they were calling my own home.

What's wrong? What's going on that has the cops calling me?

'Please can you come over to St Mary's hospital? Your husband was involved in an accident and we will need you to...' the female voice rambled on but I couldn't keep up.

My legs gave away under me and the breathe which had wedged in my throat all along finally escaped in a shrill scream that shook my small form.

I clutched my arms and tried to get myself together.

Oh my God, what have I done?

'Mrs Parker, are you still there?' The voice on the phone brought me back from my brief state of reverie and I ended the call immediately.

I had to get to the hospital immediately, I wasn't still sure what state James was, what if he just needs me now, what if there was something I needed to do so they could commence treatment, I had heard the lady say something about me filing a form or something.

I didn't bother to change into anything fancy, time wasn't on my side.

I took the car keys and rushed out of the house, my mind flooded with several possibilities and scenarios that I wished were not true.

What if I got to the hospital late? What if James was already death? Were his family already informed about the situation? Will I ever forgive myself if anything really happened to him?

Stop it Camille, just stop it already, everything will be fine.

But standing almost an hour latter in front of my husband – or what was left of him – I knew everything wasn't fine and will never be again.

I could not recognize the man in front of me and in that moment I wished I had the powers to turn back the hands of time.

My James, my love.

He was all wrapped up in bandages with a leg and arm hanging in the air. The only visible parts of his body were his face, toes and stomach and only the beeping of the life monitor signified the presence of life.

I should be grateful for his life at least, but fear stopped me from celebrating too early. Guilt made me just stand there instead of going closer and touching him, and running my hands over his peaceful face and whisper my apologies.

A doctor appeared so suddenly that it startled me, but I wiped the tears I had not recognized were running freely down my cheeks and smiled weakly at him.

'Can I see you briefly Mrs Parker?' His voice was plain, and his face expressionless as he spoke.

How do medical practitioners do this? Maintain a straight face when they are about to share the best or worst news to people?

'Is everything okay?' my voice was no louder than the faint humming of the medical equipment running in the small hospital room.

'Just come with me ma'am, I only need to tell you a few important things.' he touched my shoulders and rubbed it softly, but it didn't give me the tiniest bit of comfort.

It was only while I walked with the doctor to his office that I realized how badly I was dressed, still wearing my pajama pant and a see through shirt that read; Universal mummy.

This is so pathetic, are you that desperate Camille, what will all this eyes staring at you think of you if they knew... ENOUGH!

As I sat opposite him a few minutes latter and waited to hear what he had to say, I wished earnestly that it wasn't worst than what I had seen in that room.

What could be worst than James' present state by the way, probably death.

Is he dying?

'Is James okay? Is he going to die?' I said before I could stop myself, tears spewing from my eyes again. I could feel the goose bumps surface on my skin even though the room was warm and comfortable.

"No, no, of course not Mrs Parker. Although he wasn't brought in early by the ambulance, he had lost a lot of blood and had quiet a number of internal injuries as well. Its a miracle he actually got here alive, considering his state. Mr James is definitely a fighter we hope he he keeps fighting even now' He pauses to stare at me for a moment, as if to make sure that my assumptions were cleared.

I drew my palms to my mouth and sobbed silently, relief and gratitude washing through me.

James had always been that way, ever trying and never giving up no matter the situation, and I know he'll keep trying as long as he had a motivation to keep going.

At this point, I doubt that I am still his motivation.

But wait, I think I noticed an underlying message in his statement. Was there a chance that things could get worst? That I could lose my husband?

I waited for him to continue, fearing the worst.

'As I said, your husband sustained a lot of injuries and lost a lot of blood, although we still do not know the main reason for his unconscious state, we believe he'll be in that state for quiet some time, and he only needs everyone to be strong for him'.

I wanted to ask for how long, at least an estimated time, but the blank look on his face was all the answer I need.

My life was doomed, and I had not yet realized it.

CAMILLE

I am beginning to feel like a widow...

It has been more than a month since that fateful day that turned my life around for the worst, a month of self loathing and waning hope, but nothing has changed but a few bandages that had been unwrapped from James' body.

I was alone in my misery, James' mom had only showed up a couple of times and finally told me two weeks ago about her paid trip to the Maldives on vacation,

But I knew better, she was seeing a new man – an Arabian in the oil business – who was spoiling her crazy.

How I wish she understands how much I do not care about what she does. For the most part I appreciate her absence, it was a relief to know I didn't have to worry about being in the same space with her for a very long time.

Yet, loneliness threatened to drive me crazy, I need to talk to someone soon enough or risk going crazy.

Only one person came to mind at the thought of a friendly companion.

One day I'll talk about my very antisocial life that is limited to just one person, but for now I place a call to Helen – best friend turned sister - on my cell phone and wait while the phone rings.

I haven't spoken with her since the accident and have avoided her calls and messages as well. I still couldn't bring myself to tell anyone that I was the reason my husband was stuck in an unconscious state.

She answers on the second ring and I can hear the endless babbles of the twins before her tired voice comes alive on the phone.

'Hello' hearing her voice brought a level of comfort I never knew I would feel all this while. The simple way she said hello told me she didn't even know who had called her.

Maybe she was tired of my silence and frequent disappearance and deleted my contact.

I wanted to say something, anything, but the words stuck in my throat. Speechlessness have become a part of me since the accident,and I couldn't help it.

'Camille? Is that you Cam?' I could hear Helen's once tired voice spark with hope and excitement and I couldn't hold the myriad of emotions any longer. I cried – the second thing that was slowly becoming a part of me, I cried long and hard, and all the while she didn't interrupt me, just remained silent until I was ready to talk. The sound of the babies crying in the background telling me that she was still on the phone.

'Where are you?' she asked when I finally mellowed down to a gentle sob, and I sent her the address.

'I'm sorry Helen, I'm so so sorry' I sobbed into the phone and blew my nose into the edge of my shirt – I had no tissue on me.

Less than an hour later, I sat with Helen in the hospital's vast garden, holding hands and sharing things that had happened in the past months in that simple position more than words could ever do.

'I am a murderer Helen, I caused this' I sobbed into her waiting shoulders and she rocked me softly.

'Common Cam, there is no way this would have been your fault, he should have even treated you better in the first place, do you ever consider that?' she asked in that condescending voice she used whenever we talked about James.

'We need to get you out of here ma'am, you reek of sickness and death, when last have you even had fun?' I managed a weak smile and shake my head, I wasn't ready to leave James' sight at all.

I already felt guilty enough about the accident to leave his sight and miss any important change, but Helen knew what I thought before I could even say it.

'Listen to me Cam, you should also feel guilty about keeping me in the dark all this while and letting me take care of your god-children alone' she paused to look at me for a moment, as if to let her words sink in.

'Now go say your goodbyes, we're going to Vegas tonight' she winked at me and got up to leave immediately before I could say no, signaling that she will be waiting in the car.

Vegas, the last place I want to be right no given my emotional state – and my sexual state as well.

Common, Vegas is the secret club for every dark business and that place was definitely the home for every sex starved person in new York.

The real Las Vegas had nothing on it, it was a standing enigma of it own that was reserved only for a few.

I wanted to invite her to come see James but it would only be a vain effort, She never liked James as much as he disliked her too - maybe even more.

I return to the room and watch him for a few minutes while a nurse checks his vitals. I waited to tell her I was going out for a few hours and I needed someone to check on him while I was away.

Her eyes widened in what must be surprise – or maybe judgment.

But I ignored it as I went ahead to kiss James lightly on the lips and gathered a few things I wanted to drop off at home.

The ride home in Helen's convertible was both therapeutic and refreshing, the cool breeze that kissed every inch of my skin made the hot summer sun bearable.

I really needed this; the soothing comfort of nature and a wild friend like Helen who kept riding speedily like we were on a car race.

We stopped at an ice cream stand to get two cones and some pies, then drove straight home.

It took me a generous scoop of ice cream to get me relaxed and in a better mood that didn't involve feeling so bad about leaving James' side.

At least just for today.

As we went through endless dresses and shoes for the night with Helen only sitting on the bed and shaking her head to every dress I chose, I felt more and more alive, looking forward to what the night held for me.

Maybe a release...

Stop it you naughty girl, your husband is still in coma and it's your fault by the way.

But come to think of it, what will I do if an opportunity for a one night stand surfaces?

Will I be loyal enough to resist?