Forbidden Love Volume

CHAPTER ONE

THE BEGINNING

I had gone to sleep very early the previous night because I was so tired from the recent training and preparations of war against the kingdom of Maracath and I had the same dream I had been relieving since my parent's tragedy all over again with no details left out. I spotted my younger self running through a field of dandelions as I let the air sweep my hair back and I inhaled the sweet scent of the flowers that lingered in the air. I felt at peace, it felt like heaven.

"Ava'', I heard a familiar voice call my name. I turned back and I saw my mother walking towards me dressed in a white satin gown that complimented her fair skin. Her blond hair fell graciously down her shoulders to her waist. And her brown eyes... The warmth that spread through my heart looking into them was euphoric. God, she was the definition of beauty and perfection.

"Mama'', I shouted as I ran towards her with my arms open.

Now here comes the ugly part, I thought in my sleep. As I ran towards my mother who stood smiling at me with open arms, I suddenly felt the earth disappear from my feet. A gasp escaped my mouth and before I could blink, I started falling down a dark endless space. I shouted at the top of my voice that my throat was scarred. But my screams were soon muffled by water rushing into my mouth and nostrils. I looked around in panic and I saw that I was surrounded by water. I was in the water! I was drowning! I panicked in terror and kicked viciously as the air in my lungs was replaced with water I tried to breathe and I coughed gasping for air, instead more water rushed in. Eventually, it felt like everything was coming to an end as my body became numb. My lungs weighed heavily with water and my eyes felt heavy.

No, I can't die, not here, not now, I tried to fight back with my thoughts, but it was late. My weight was already sinking me deep into the darkness and the little light I could see slowly disappeared.

With a loud gasp, I woke from the horrific dream. I looked around and sat up on my bed panting heavily as beads of perspiration trickled down my face.

"God'', I exhaled. I was supposed to be used to it but it always felt so real every single time that I remember vividly every detail whenever I woke up. I swung my legs down the bed knowing I had to get out of bed early because today was an important day. I was meeting General Declan of the royal army of Talamhth to discuss my plan to join the royal army because if I wanted to survive in this hellhole, I needed power. General Declan of the royal army of Talamhth was a well-respected and influential man. He was one of my father's most trusted men, so he was the right and perfect person to meet.

Someone knocked on the door and before I could answer, the door opened and my handmaid walked in with breakfast in her hands.

"Good morning my lady'', she greeted and bowed.

"Good morning Marie'', I greeted her back, watching as she placed the tray on the table at the center of the room.

"Here is your breakfast my lady. Eat before it gets cold'', she said, turning to me.

She walked to the windows and drew the curtains open. It was a bright day with clear blue skies. The brightness of the risen sun poked my eyes and I blinked severally.

"Shall I draw you a bath?'', I nodded without saying anything and she made her way into the boudoir.

I looked over at the tray of food and my stomach turned. Slowly, I stood up and walked sluggishly to the table. I sat in one of the two chairs and opened the tray lid and the heat that escaped filled my nostrils with the aroma of the food. I fed my eyes scanning the tray; boiled potatoes, scrambled eggs, tea and some fruits. It was appetizing however, I had no appetite, maybe because I was anxious. Anxious because the war against Maracath was the first war I would participate in since I completed my military training a few months ago. I picked up the fork placed on the side of the tray as I adjusted myself in the chair. I picked a chunk of potatoes and let it sit on the fork for a while before putting it into my mouth and I chewed slowly intending to savor the taste. It tasted good but I had a hard time swallowing it, it was like my gut rejected the food. Maybe I really did drown and now my stomach was filled with water, I picked another chunk of potatoes and chewed gently.

Lost in myself I didn't know when Marie came back into the room.

"You have eaten nothing my lady", she said worriedly, grabbing my attention. I turned my head in her direction and found her staring at me with scolding eyes. "You have been eating less for the past few days. Is there anything bothering you that I don't know about? Is it because of the war? Are you scared?''

Within these walls, Marie was always the one who cared and worried about me. She had been taking care of me since my parent's demise even though she was just seven years older than I was. I considered her my elder sister.

"Have you eaten?'', "you shouldn't do that, my lady, you're grown up now'', "Shall I prepare you for sleep?'', those were some of her most used lines to ensure my wellbeing. If not for her, I don't know if I could have survived inside these walls.

She stood there staring at me with those brown eyes that looked just like my mother's. Realizing I still hadn't answered her question, I stood up swiftly and walked toward the boudoir.

"I'm just not hungry, and I don't know why'', I shrugged, answering her long-asked question.

"Still you have to try and eat something, even if it is a little. I shall not pray for you to be killed by hunger when food is abundant'', she scolded. "You need strength to fight, you need strength to go to battle and that strength comes from food'', she added, emphasizing the last word.

When we got into the boudoir, I let my robe slide down my shoulders onto the ground. Marie poured some scented oil into the bath. I stepped into the tub, the water was cold but soothing, exactly how I loved it. I lay in the tub and rested my head on the brim. Marie sat beside the tub, poured some soap and rubbed it on my skin. She took the bathcloth and started washing me.

Being in the water in the tub reminded me of my consistent dream. I thought of my mother and the joy I felt when I saw her. That was the only part of the dream I liked. After bathing, I made my way into the dressing room with Marie and I sat in front of the dresser as water dripped down my wet blond hair. Marie gathered my hair with a towel and dried it, she rubbed scented gel on it and combed it till it was fine. I wore my undergarment and Marie brought me a pair of blue leather trousers, a shirt and some armor.

"You're meeting General Declan this morning'', she reminded me and I nodded.

All of a sudden, the confidence I felt vanished the moment Marie reminded me and I felt my stomach knot with fear and my face turn pale. What if he doesn't agree to help? He is a general, a very influential and powerful man, almost as the king. What if he doesn't like me or what if he disregards me like any other general would? He is the only hope I have and if I fail to convince him then... no! I thought. I have to convince him no matter what, it is up to me whether he helps me or not. I felt Marie's hands on my shoulders.

"It is alright my lady, just be yourself", she said with an encouraging smile.

I took a deep and long breath to calm myself and looked in the mirror, Ava you just have to convince him, that is all, it won't be difficult. Just act natural, I said to myself letting out a deep breath of confidence and went to meet General Declan.

CHAPTER TWO

The WARRIOR PRINCESS

When I was done dressing, I made my way to the backyard of the castle. It was a training ground for guards so I knew General Declan would be there. Getting there, I found him sitting under a shade while watching the guards train. I approached him and when he noticed me, he stood up immediately putting the glass of wine in his hand on the table in front of him.

"Your Highness'', he bowed with his hand resting on his abdomen.

"Have your seat general'', I smiled.

He pulled out a chair opposite him at the other end of the table for me to sit in and he also went to sit in his chair. If there was one thing I liked about him, it was the fact that, unlike most generals or lords who beam with arrogance in the presence of a princess, because they are more powerful and influential, General Declan was exactly the opposite.

"So, how are preparations for the war going?'', I asked after we sat.

"Preparations are going smoothly so far. But we need a powerful ally that is willing to help us with this war against the kingdom of Maracath'', he replied.

"I'm sure his majesty is working on that. Besides we have many allies and I'm certain kingdoms are willing to support us'', I pointed out.

"Yes, many kingdoms are willing to support us. But, as the most powerful kingdom in the North, we do not require manpower. We need an ally powerful and wealthy enough to provide us supplies as well as aid us financially for the whole duration of the war'', he also pointed out.

"Do you have any such kingdom in mind?'', he shook his head slightly as he took a sip of his wine.

"Even if there was, it will be difficult to negotiate and come to agreeing terms'', he said.

I nodded knowing he was right. Such a powerful ally probably has everything so striking a deal will be next to impossible.

"I hope we find one as soon as possible before the war starts'', I said optimistically.

"I hope so too. I heard you are participating in the war'', he said in a way that sounded more like a question.

''Yes, I am. However, his majesty doesn't like that very much. But it's been months since I completed my training with no real experience. Also, there is no fun in sitting locked up in here, being on the battlefield on the other sounds fun'', I replied. He nodded, smiling slightly. "The thing is, I've decided to actively participate in the army'', and he looked over at me trying not to be surprised but I could see he was. "And I consider my participation in this war a first step to it'', I added.

"Why would you want that? Are you sure about this?'', he asked curiously.

I smiled understanding what he meant. Why would a princess who has a life of luxury want such hardship for herself?

"As I said earlier, being a princess is so depriving. But as a soldier, I'll have my freedom and also fulfill my royal duties by participating in warfare'', I clarified. "Hopefully, I'll gain power worthy of my ambitions'', I added.

"Power? Ambition?'', he narrowed his eyes.

"Am I not allowed to have any if not both?", I asked calmly but the irritation was clear in my voice. Because people, especially men, think of women as tools to gain more power or wealth or containers to breed children. Women were always treated as insignificant and their opinions and feelings didn't always matter.

"Beg your pardon, your highness, I didn't mean..."

"It doesn't matter, I just have to prove myself, isn't it, general?", I asked, cutting him off politely. "I am counting on your support. Shall we duel?'', I challenged him.

He wrinkled his forehead looking puzzled. "With all respect Your Highness, I don't th....''

"I have to train to prepare for the war and since you're here, a duel with you is better, don't you think?'', I said, but the truth was I wanted to prove myself, that I wasn't weak and I had what it took to join the ranks of the royal army because I had been training for it since I was thirteen.

He knew I wasn't asking so he put down the glass of wine in his hand and stood up. "Besides, I get to train with the best''.

"I can't assure you won't get hurt so try not to'', he warned.

"I won't be wearing armor otherwise''.

"Alright then, if you insist'', he sighed.

We went to the training ground and every guard halted whatever it was they were doing and cleared the area. General Declan and I stood opposite each other and were given a sword each. Suddenly without warning, he attacked. I blocked the attack swiftly but I was no match for his strength. Knowing that, he relaxed and took a few steps back. I gripped my sword tightly and launched at him. He stood still anticipating but I caught him unaware by removing a dagger from my boot and throwing it at him. However, he was fast to knock it away and despite the distraction, he was still able to dodge my sword that aimed at his neck. He anticipated, blocked and dodged every of my moves and attacks and after a while, I bent, resting my hands on my knees while panting. I knew he wasn't attacking me on purpose.

''What? Are you mocking me?'', I questioned, pretending to be upset.

With this, he swung his sword at me and I bent over moving behind him. He turned back at me and swung his sword again, I rolled forward and kicked him in the stomach and he fell hard on the ground. I stood up quickly and attacked with my sword but he was quick to roll sideways. He stood up with an amused expression. I sprinted towards him, he swerved to the side and put a leg in my way causing me to trip and fall hard on my stomach. I rolled over with a groan and found his sword pointing at me with a smirk on his face, but luckily for him, I was not the type to give up. I kicked his thigh to the side and he fell to his knee. I took my chance and stood up immediately, I drew my sword at him and he knocked it off my hand with a force that sent pain through my arm. I reached for the sword but he kicked my heels and I fell on my back. He rose and pointed the tip of his sword at my neck. I tried to reach for the other dagger in my second boot,

''Tsk! Tsk! tsk!'', general Declan shook his head in warning. It was then I realized that any slight movement could cut my throat. I had no choice, so I gave up. General Declan dropped his sword and pulled me up.

"That was excellent'', he remarked.

"But I lost'', I replied disappointed.

"I don't think any of my men ever lasted that long against me. I know now why you're called the warrior princess'', he laughed.

"Then I guess my skills and reputation will take me far in the royal army'', I said more like a question, running my hands through my messy hair to straighten it.

"There is no doubt about that, your highness. You have my full support'', he pledged.

Hearing this, I felt so happy that I wanted to scream. "Very well then I guess we will see to it and have further discussion after the war'', I smiled and he nodded.

"Thank you very much for your time, General Declan'', I bowed with appreciation instead of curtsying since I wasn't wearing a dress.

"It's an honor your highness'', he bowed deeply.

I left and went back to my quarters joyfully. However, little did I know that the happiness would last only for a while as my nemesis and misery had already been set in motion by my uncle, King Harald of Talamhth.

CHAPTER THREE

MARRIAGE

I felt a sense of accomplishment as I walked into my chamber. Soon after, Marie walked inside when I was taking off my armor and she helped me with it. Now that I had General Declan by my side my plans would be much easier. In fact, rising through the ranks of the royal army would be a cakewalk. I smiled at the thought of it.

"So how did it go?'', she asked eagerly about my meeting with General Declan.

I sighed loudly, "It went well'', I smiled widely.

"You don't have to tell. Your face says it all'', she teased.

"Oh really?'', I raised my brows pretending to be surprised and we both laughed.

"I have his support now. I knew I could count on him''.

"This will be a tough and rough road but I know you will prevail and survive'', Marie cheered me.

A knock interrupted us, "yes'', I called out to whoever it was. Shortly after, a guard walked into my chamber.

"Your Highness'', he bowed deeply.

I nodded acknowledging his respect. I raised a questioning eyebrow to know the reason he was here.

"The king asks you to join him in the living room immediately'', he informed.

I looked at Marie who was beside me.

"Is it anything urgent?'', I asked.

"His Majesty has guests from the kingdom of Malipish. They requested your presence, my lady'', he explained.

Malipish was a very powerful and wealthy kingdom in the East. Why would guests from a foreign and wealthy kingdom request the presence of a princess who isn't involved in political and state affairs? What do they want with me? I reasoned.

"I will be there in a moment'', I said to the guard and without a word he bowed and left.

After he left, Marie combed my hair and helped me change into a black silk gown she chose for me to wear. Black? Weird.

I couldn't deny that the black dress looked good on me. It was a simple long-sleeve gown with a v-neckline that reached just above my cleavage. The top was fit, revealing my bust, but was loose from the waist down. The way I was dressed was subtle yet elegant even though I had no jewelry on. I looked over at Marie in the mirror and gave her a light smile before I stood up and left to meet the king and his guests.

As I made my way to the living room, multiple thoughts as to why my uncle would want or allow me to meet royal guests swirled in my head, that was something he never did or allowed. Even if the guests requested my presence, he could have just dismissed it with an excuse. Before I knew it, I already reached the living room where the king was meeting with his guests. I halted at the doors where two guards stood firmly at both sides. They saluted me by placing their right fists on the left side of their chests. I stared at the doors wondering what awaited me behind them. I nodded to the guards and the doors were opened and everyone in the room went quiet as I stood at the entrance of the room. I scanned the room swiftly, my uncle was sitting on his comfy throne with a goblet of wine in his hands and two other men whom I already assumed to be the guests sat across from him.

The guests rose from their seats knowing I was the princess whose presence they had requested.

"Lord Tariq, commander Noor, meet my nephew and the only daughter of late king Alexander, Ava'', my uncle introduced me, looking at me with those eyes I so much despised.

I raised my chin slightly and walked into the room elegantly."Your majesty. My lords'', I curtsied and stood in front of them.

"I must say your highness, your reputation precedes you. It is a pleasure to finally meet you my lady'', the shorter and older of the guests spoke with fascination in a local accent.

"1It is such an honor lord...'', I tried to remember his name which I had forgotten already.

"Lord Tariq. Chief of the royal council of Malipish'', he reintroduced himself.

Chief of the royal council of Malipish? I guess my uncle finally found such an ally because why else would such a powerful kingdom send a high-ranking official here if not for important matters such as an alliance? But why am I here? I thought.

"Lord Tariq'', I repeated, nodding.

I turned to the other guest who seemed to wait for his turn to shower me with appraisals, but it turned out to be the contrary.

"Your Highness, it is an honor. I am Noor, commander of the royal guards of Malipish'', he said stoically with the same accent as lord Tariq.

They then bowed in unison, brought their palms close to their foreheads, then placed them on their chests and then straightened up. It seemed that was how they showed respect or paid homage in their culture so, I curtsied in return.

My uncle sat there the whole time watching, and when the pleasantry thing was done, he motioned to me to sit in a chair beside him. I wanted to decline at first, but I obeyed. I shouldn't disrespect a king in the presence of his guests.

"So, what do you think of my nephew?''My uncle asked his guests and the question sounded a bit weird to me.

"Your majesty, I have heard words of the beauty and elegance and fierceness of her highness. But she is more to the eyes than ears'', lord Tariq remarked. "Now that I see you, there is truly no doubt you look a lot like your father'', he added. I heard that from people a lot, but the truth was I looked like both my father and mother. I just sat there faking smiles at his compliments and my cheeks already started to ache.

"Your majesty, I heard her Highness is a skilled swordswoman'', commander Noor who sat quietly the whole time finally spoke.

"She was trained by the very best in swordsmanship. She had her military training since she was thirteen. So, as you can see, I have raised my nephew well", he boasted.

I almost scoffed at his last sentence, although it was partly true. He raised me when he could have killed me or thrown me out. He didn't deny me anything, even when I told him I wanted to train in swordsmanship, he didn't object even though I was too young for that. He showed me no affection, but still, he did his best to raise me as his brother's daughter. Despite all these, I can't help but resent him deeply because.....

"Your Highness", someone called, interrupting my thoughts. Pulling myself together, I looked over at the guests and they seemed to await my response to a question I didn't hear because I was lost in thought.

Realizing I was lost, Commander Noor enlightened me, "We were wondering if you participate in state affairs also since you fight very well?"

"I studied politics only in the books. I take no interest in engaging in political matters. Besides, his majesty thinks it a dangerous and unbefitting involvement for a noblewoman or any woman", I explained. Both of them listened intently and nodded. Now is the time to let him know Ava, I said to myself.

"I assume you know we are going to war against the kingdom of Maracath soon. I am participating in the war and with his majesty's permission I'd like to join the royal army instead", I said as I turned my head to my uncle, knowing he wouldn't want to hurt his pride in the presence of his guests by declining my request. Although it wasn't a request, it was a way of informing him of my decision politely.

The guests' eyes widened in surprise, including my uncle. Then a look of confusion fell on the faces of the guests and their gazes shifted between the king and me. There was some sort of tension in the room and I noticed that something was going on that I didn't know about.

"Uhm...Ava", my uncle cleared his throat as he put down his wine goblet. "As you know, we are at war and we need a sustainable ally", he began to explain. "The kingdom of Malipish has offered to help and the perfect way to form a long-lasting alliance is through marriage", he narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips. That reaction I knew very well, he always did when he was about to say something he didn't like.

"So?", I urged him to speak.

"Ava, you are getting married".....