Forbidden Feelings

Emma Taylor's life was a perfectionist's story. Her husband then, Michael, was a successful lawyer; she was a prominent psychologist with a busy practice. His beautiful home in the center of the city was the result of his efforts.

Emma's heart swelled with pride and accomplishment as she walked into her sleek, modern kitchen. It was sunny, the coffee was percolating, and bird song filled the air outside. It was going to be a great day.

Emma went to the kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee, and she sipped carefully, as she marveled at its flavor. Keeping an eye on the clock on the wall, she knew she had time to read a few notes for a new patient she was going to see next.

Emma sat down at the kitchen table, but her thoughts drifted to her patient Ryan. A call had come from his primary care doctor asking for help treating Ryan's anxiety and depression. Emma was curious about the challenge, and had accepted the case.

Just as Emma opened up her notes, Michael strode across the kitchen door, dapper and confident in his tailored suit.

"Morning, gorgeous," he said, giving Emma a peck on the cheek. "How's your day looking?"

Emma smiled and leaned into his kiss. "It's looking great, thanks. Today I have a new patient coming in and I'm excited about working with him.

Michael nodded, looking around the kitchen. "That's terrific. No doubt you'll do a great job. P.S. where's my phone? I could've swore that I left it right here on the counter."

Emma shook her head. "I didn't see it, but you might want to review your study." You were working late last night and you probably left it in there."

Michael nodded and left the kitchen, leaving Emma to her notes. And as she studied Ryan's file, she got that feeling again, that something wasn't right; And though she could not put her finger on what it was, she felt there was something about Ryan's case that would be more complex than what she originally thought.

Emma's concentration was broken by the ringing of the doorbell. She looked at the clock and remembered it was her time with Ryan. She inhaled, stood up, and straightened her dress. It was time to switch into professional mode and help Ryan work through his struggles.

By the time Emma reached the front door, she was both excited and fearful. She didn know what the next hour would bring, but shed meet anything thrown her way.

When Emma opened the door, her eyes fell to Ryan's chiseled features, bright blue eyes. He was more handsome than she had ever imagined, and for a moment she felt a flapping in her chest.

"Hi, Ryan," Emma said, reaching for his hand. "Thank you for joining our session today."

Ryan shook her hand, smiling, a firm but not crushing grip. "Thanks, Dr. Taylor. I appreciate you seeing me."

Emma walked Ryan into her study, a sunny room with bookshelves and a velvet loveseat. She waved for him to sit on the couch, while she occupied her armchair.

"So Ryan, tell me a little about yourself," Emma said and took out me notebook and pen. "What brings you here today?"

Ryan reclined on the couch, his eyes moving around the room until they focused on Emma. "I've been fighting anxiety and depression a long time," he said, his voice low and silky. "I've done therapy before, and it didn't really work for me. I'm hoping you can help me understand what's happening."

Emma agreed but her mind began racing. "I'm glad to assist you, Ryan. Can you explain a little more about what you've been experiencing? What kind of symptoms have you been experiencing?"

Ryan hesitated, his gaze falling to the ground. "It's just...I feel stuck, I guess. It was like I was going through the motions of life without the actual drive or direction.

Emma's heart went out to him. She was no stranger to that feeling. "I believe we can do something with that," she said, smiling encouragingly. "But before we get started, let me reassure you that all we talk about in this room is private. You're safe here."

Ryan looked up, hope glimmering in his eyes. "Thanks, Dr. Taylor. That means a lot to me."

Emma smiled again, a sense of connection in an unknown way, in Ryan. "Please, call me Emma. We're going to be working together, we're going to be working closely, and I want you to feel comfortable with me.'"

Ryan nodded, a smile tugging on his lips. "Okay, Emma."

She grew more and more engrossed in Ryan's story as the session progressed. She was committed to helping him get to the bottom of his anxiety and depression, and on the road to healing and moving on.

But as the hour ticked away, Emma had the feeling that there was more to Ryan's story, that there was something he wasn't saying. She filed this away for discussion in their next session.

Emma frowned as Ryan got up to leave. She had become used to his presence in her study, and she wasn't ready for the session to be over.

"Thank you for coming in today, Ryan," Emma said as she walked him to the door. Highlights will include the sand, see, dead tree and many more.

Ryan grinned, which crinkled the corners of his eyes. "Me too, Emma."

When Ryan walked out the door, Emma was not in the least levelheaded. She had a feeling that this would be a very interesting case indeed.

Emma couldn't get rid of the feeling: Something was off, as soon as Ryan left. She had practiced psychology for more than a decade, which had honed her observation skills. But there was something about Ryan that felt off.

The investigators were so covered up in this case that Emma thought it would be helpful to do a bit more looking into Ryan's background. She opened his file and started flipping through the notes. While reading, she realized that Ryan had been extremely vague about his past. He had said that he had grown up in a troubled home - the details were never specified.

Emma's curiosity was piqued. She dug a little deeper. She took out her phone and called a number.

"Hey, Sam," Emma said when her colleague picked up. "I need a favor."

"What's up?" Sam asked.

"I've got a new patient, and I'm struggling to get a read on him," Emma said. "See what you can discover about his background."

Sam said yes and Emma had hung up the phone. In the end even she could not shake the feeling that Ryan was hiding something.

Emma chose to run over her notes from the session while she waited for Sam to respond. She opened her notebook and started to flip through the pages.

Emma was reading, when she saw, which made her heart race a little: Ryan said he had been in a relationship in the past and it had ended badly. He hadn't been clear about the specifics, however, and Emma had suspected there was more to the story.

Emma's brain was whirring with possibilities. She was eager to learn what Sam had discovered about Ryan's background.

As Emma was getting ready to pack up her things and go home, her phone rang. It was Sam.

"Hey, Emma," Sam said. "I have some information about your patient."

"What did you find out?" Emma asked, her heart pounding in excitement.

"It's not good," Sam said. "Ryan is known to be a little bit of a player. He has a history of linking with different women."

Emma's jaw dropped at Sam's words. She had sensed Ryan was hiding something, but she had no way of knowing it was this serious.

"Thanks, Sam," Emma said, her mind whirring with scenarios. "I owe you one."

Emma hung up the phone, leaving her with the lingering sense that she had only hit the tip of the iceberg here. She was determined to uncover the truth about Ryan's secrets, at any cost.

Emma spent the whole rest of the day unable to think of anything but. She found her thoughts drifting back to Ryan and the things he wasn't telling her. She did not want to push her luck, but despite her latest lead she felt like she was out of her depth.

Emma's own past was on her mind as she drove home from work. She had always been attracted to unfathomable, difficult men, and Ryan was no different. But when Emma grew older, she learned she deserved more. She was deserving of someone who would love and honor who she was.

Emma drove into her driveway, her mind drifting. It wasn't until she stepped out of the car that she noticed the figure standing on her porch.

"It's Emma, right?" Michael asked as she neared. "How was your day?"

Emma smiled, forced the smile across her face. "It was fine, thanks. Just a lot on my mind."

Michael raised an eyebrow. "Is there anything you'd like to discuss?

Emma hesitated. She didn't want to put her worry about Ryan on Michael. Besides, she didn't even know what she was up against yet.

"No, it's nothing," said Emma. "Just work stuff."

Michael nodded, but Emma could tell he found it hard to believe. She went inside and tried to forget Ryan. But that night, she couldn't stop thinking that she was getting old.

The following day, Emma was sitting in her study, waiting for Ryan to come. She had prepared for the session for hours, researching and reading through her notes.

Emma's heart leapt as Ryan strolled in. No, she was making a 100 percent effort to be professional, but she could not ignore the attraction that hung between them.

"Hey, Ryan," Emma said, smiling. "How are you feeling today?"

Ryan shrugged. "I'm okay, I guess. Just a lot on my mind."

Emma nodded. "Let's talk about it. What's been going on?"

Ryan paused, glancing around the room anxiously. Emma realized that he was struggling to open up.

"It's just...I don't know if I can trust you,' Ryan finally said.

Emma's heart went out to him. [She knew what vulnerability and fear felt like.

"I understand," Emma said softly. "But I want you to understand something that we trust in this room. You're safe here."

Ryan stared at her, his eyes searching. Emma could see fear and uncertainty there.

"Okay," Ryan said finally. "I'll try."

Emma smiled and felt a relief. She was determined to help and knew it wouldn't be easy.

Emma kept getting more and more interested in Ryan's world throughout the session. She had vowed it would be business as usual, but she couldn't help the connection she felt.

At the end of the session she felt like she had done a good job. She had been instrumental in getting Ryan to express himself and face his fears.

But there was something in his eyes that sparked attraction for Emma. She did acknowledge that it was wrong, but she needed to ignore their seduction.

"Thanks, Emma," Ryan said, rising to his feet. "I feel I've made a real change."

Emma smiled and forced back her emotions. "You're welcome, Ryan. I'm proud of you."

Emma sensed that Ryan was in trouble as he got up to leave. She understood that she had to suppress her feelings, but she couldn't resist the bond.

Emma was coming to grips with scary and exciting emotions in the weeks that followed. Sarah knew better than to feel attracted to Ryan, yet she could not deny that the chemistry between them was undeniable.

During her time spent with Ryan all Emma wanted was to be a part of his world. She knew she had to be cautious, but she couldn't help the way she felt.

One day when they were working together, Ryan looked at her with an odd expression.

"Emma, you know can I ask you something?" he said.

"Yes Ryan, with a smile Emma answered. "What is it?"

"You ever feel like you're just going through the motions? Ryan asked. "Where you're like, you're living someone else's life?"

Emma felt the pang of recognition. She had been feeling that way for a lot recently.

"Yes, Ryan," she said. "I think we all feel that way at times."

Ryan nodded without breaking eye contact. "I'm in a rut," he said. "Like I'm just sitting here waiting for something to happen."

Emma felt a surge of empathy. She knew precisely what Ryan was referring to.

"I think that's how we all feel sometimes," said Emma. "But maybe we just need to step outside of that. Perhaps it's time we rolled the dice and see what comes out."

Ryan smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "You're right, Emma," he said. "Maybe we do."

When they said goodbye, Emma felt as if something were about to change. She didn't know what it was, but she felt it in her bones.

Ryan thought about Emma's words for long after their session had ended. He had the feeling of being in a rut, waiting for something to happen. But what?

Ryan walked home with an odd restlessness. He knew he needed to take a leap of faith, but he was terrified. What if he failed?

Ryan was snapped from his thoughts by the ringing of his phone. He paused briefly before responding.

"Hey, Ryan," said a friendly voice. "It's Alex. I wanted to know if you wanted to get a drink tonight."

Ryan hesitated. He hadn't seen Alex for months, not since the falling-out. But there was something about Emma's words that spoke to him. Perhaps it was now time to have a little faith.

"Yes, Alex," Ryan finally said. "I'd love to grab a drink."

Ryan hung up the phone feeling somewhat trepidatious. What had he just signed up for