For Love & honor

Prologue

Aria's pov

Watching the planes crash into the towers changed me forever. Knowing instantly my husband was gone forever broke something inside of me. I didn't need the officers to come to my door and tell me what I already know.

I didn't shed a tear that day. I just got angry. After my husband was buried, I went down to the recruiter's office and signed up. I had so many plans, but they died right along with my husband. I had to do this. I needed to feel like I was doing something.

I didn't know if they would take me because I wasn't in shape. I have always been a curvy girl. People always called me fat. When I got to boot camp a few of the guys laughed at me. They said someone lazy like me would never make it. I would show them.

I would prove I can do this. See I wanted revenge on the monsters that took my husband away from me. I had to do this. I needed this, or else I would fall apart. It seems like no one believed in me. That only pushed me to do better.

I was tired of being the victim. I had one person here that I would call a friend. He has been in since he was 18 so he has helped me out here a lot. We shouldn't be friends since he's my commanding officer, but he's nice to be around.

His girlfriend left him for someone else. I told him about my husband, and we bonded over being broken hearted. It was nice to have someone to talk too here. I didn't feel so alone anymore.

Everyone accuses us of being more than friends but were not. My heart is shattered. I could never love anyone again. I was better off being alone. one could ever take the place of my husband.

Diesel's pov

I look around at all the new recruits thinking I was once like them. Now I have seen too much and done too much. I'm feeling old and worn down, and I'm only 32. I put in my paperwork, and soon I will be retired from all of this.

I wanted to have a life outside of war. I have been in since the day I turned 18

Now I was ready to meet someone, and possibly get married one day. I know who I have my eye on, but it will never happen. She hasn't been the same since she lost her husband a few years back.

We met when she came here for boot camp. Everyone said she wouldn't make it, but she did. We have become inseparable. Yet we are just friends. She feels that moving on would be betraying her husband.

I wish more than anything that Aria would love me the way I love her. Maybe that's another reason I am leaving. I need to put some distance between us. I need to get over her. Hell, I haven't dated since my girl left me when I was shipped over to Iraq. She sent me the famous "Dear John" letter.

I couldn't really blame her for not sticking around. At the time we were both young, and we never promised each other a future. At the time I was broken up over it, but now I am over it.

I just want to find a nice woman and settle down. I want to have a family. That's the one thing I have always wanted. Honestly, I want that with Aria, but I know it will never happen. I need to get that fool thinking out of my head.

She has told me time and time again the only man for her was her husband. I mean we have held hands a few times, and she did kiss me once. But she regretted it right after. She broke my heart when she said it was a mistake that will never happen again. No, the best thing for me is to leave this place and forget all about her.

Chapter 1

Aria's pov

I couldn't believe Diesel was leaving. I hated to admit it, but I would miss him. Truth is I cared very deeply for him. I know he's a good man, but I could never give him a chance. I could never handle losing someone I loved again.

No, it was for the best that he was leaving. I knew he wanted to say bye to me so I made sure I wouldn't be around. I knew if I had to tell him goodbye, I would have fallen apart. When I got back to base, he was long gone. I can't believe he left like that. He didn't want to see me before he left.

On my bunk was a letter from Diesel. I put it in my bag unread. Right now, I had to have my mind here. I was on my own here. I no longer had Diesel in my corner. Many wanted me to fail here. I would be damned if anyone let that happen. No one would ever see me fail.

Sirens started to go off all around me. I knew that could only mean a threat. I grabbed my gun, and off I went. I caught up to my squadron and listened for instructions. We got into 3 Humvee's and headed off into battle. Life was never a guarantee here.

One day you were laughing and sharing with your buddies the next you were crying over a friend that was now gone. I looked around on high alert. You never knew where your enemy was here. I was scared.

I started to regret not telling Diesel how I felt. If I were to die right now, he would never know. I heard a noise before everything went crazy. The Humvee in front of us blew up. We tried to swerve, but that did no good.

This was it I was going to die. I closed my eyes prepared to leave this earth. Soon I would be with my husband. The noise was so loud. I could hear everyone screaming. Then I felt pain like I have never known before.

Chapter 2

Diesel's pov

I got a call from a good friend of mine that changed my life today. I was told that Aria's Humvee had been hit by a roadside bomb. He told me she was being sent to a VA hospital in Germany then once she was better, she would be sent to the states.

Only thing is she had no family to take care of her. I knew I would step up and do anything I could for her. I loved her, and now I was going to show her just how much. I got on a plane and headed to Germany.

I needed to see with my own eyes how bad she was. I knew it was going to be bad. I was just so thankful she was alive. When I stepped into the hospital guilt suddenly hit me hard. It was my fault she was hurt. I should never have left her.

I was the only one that truly had her back there. I had to sit down and get control of my emotions. She couldn't see me upset. I found her doctor and asked him how she was.

"Well she was touch and go for a while, but she is doing better now. She has lost her right leg and suffered some burns all over her body. Other than that, she will make a full recovery. I say she will be able to head back to the states in a few weeks."

I wanted to throw up after listening to him. I knew this was going to destroy Aria. She was so independent. She hated asking for help. This was going to be too much for her.

I knew now that we would never be together. Even if she could let me in, she wouldn't now. She would think she was a burden to me. I wondered if she would even allow me to take care of her. I walked into her room, and my breath caught in my throat.

She looked so fragile. I pulled up a chair and set in it beside her bed. I didn't care how much she pushed me away. I was never leaving her again. I picked up her hand and held it as I finally allowed myself to cry. If I was there this wouldn't have happened. I could have protected her. I should have protected her. Now I was never going to let her go.