Follow Through

ACHOO!!" I sneezed myself awake and immediately started to flail within the tangle of tentacles trying to strangle me to death.I open my eyes and see........darkness.

Are my eyes even open?

Hold on;I begin clawing at my neck and face and instead of slimy,wet, gelatinous octopus limbs,my fingers come into contact with cloth.

"Crap,crap,bloody stupid idiot static electricity"

I seemed to have every single blanket,sheet and sweater currently trying to smother me to death.I fight and curse,landing on the floor of my bedroom in the process.I finally break free-my torso at least-and take stock of the damage done.

My room is a warzone.

A picture perfect tornado aftermath.

The books from my bookcase are strewn across the floor,pages everywhere.All my stationary is scattered.My desk has been upended,my drawers open and empty.The contents litter every available surface.A snow globe I've had since childhood is shattered my so is my lava lamp,my makeup case and a tumbler I left on my bedside table from last night.There's juice and makeup staining my beige carpet and I just sit there,still half buried under a mountain of fabric,in complete shock.

"No way is this static electricity." At this point I can feel my eyes begin to tear up from being open so wide for so long and I'm talking to my empty room like a crazy person.I try to untangle my legs and get up.

"Oh my freaking banana".

My dark hair falls in my face(really need to get it cut)as I attempt to sort through the debri that my possessions have become.It was at that exact moment that I started to float.

Impossibly,my eyes go wider and for about two minutes there's nothing but static in my brain.

What.The.Actual.Grapefruit.

A second later and my adrenalin kicks in,or rather screams in since the sound that tears from my throat is hardly even human.I panic,thrashing wildly,which catapults me across the room,turns me upside down and of course that's when I REALLY get into it.

Im in my room- in mid air almost touching the ceiling- kicking and punching with my eyes closed,cursing a mean streak of fruit profanity.

I suffer from what my best friend Keanu (insert eye roll here.His parents are Huge fans of 'The Matrix' and 'John Wick') calls Chronic Pathological Potty Mouth.According to him I can't say two sentences without using profanity.I ofcourse deny such a malicious (and very true) claim to which he challenged me to prove him wrong by going a day without swearing.And thus the fruity expletives were born.I began to substitute curse words for fruit names and despite making me sound completely insane,it actually worked.Its been a week since the dare and I can't seem to shake the habbit.Needless to say,I get stared at alot.

"kiwi,ginger,peach,apple,strawberry,shit shit shit".

Ok so older habbits are harder to shake.

My upstairs neighbor begins to smack her floor with what sounds like a broom stick and yell at me to shut the -insert non fruity expletive here-up.I slowly calm down as my adrenalin subsides and start to think 'hey,this isn't so bad after all'.Im like a 5ft 6" slender (BONY) cloud gliding around about six feet in the air.I do a quick summersault and even my hair is gracefully fanned out around me.This is straight up surreal,Im surely still asleep.This is nothing but an all too vivid dream.

Only one way to find out.

"Fu-ig!" Fig is a fruit right? Pinching myself does it's job and I'm convinced that this is the real deal.Now a whole new panic sets in.How the cherry do I get down from here?

"Maybe I can help with that."

I look up and there's a swirling frothy grey mist taking up about four feet of my ceiling.Before I can blink,what looks like a tree bark covered marshmallow reaches down and yanks me up by the hair.

There's that static again.Just what sort of weird Alice in Wonderland crap is this? While my brain tries to catch up,my body is thrown unceremoniously on what feels like large marbles.Unbelievably my eyes and nose register what appears to be.....gumballs? My brain skitters awake as my eyes once again widen to saucers.

There are millions of red,blue,purple,pink,orange,green and heck I don't know the names of all those other colours,but I'm sure every single shade on the spectrum is represented here,balls of glittery sugary gum underneath me and I lay there,my torso twisted and supported by my forearms,my legs folded at the knees,just staring with my hair forming a curtain around my face.Definitely putting 'haidresser' on my to-do- list.That normal thought seeps through my trance-like state and my head lifts.Then bam,back in the trance I go.This 'in shock' thing is becoming my new norm.Im surrounded by that weird foamy fog.It's thick and glows uncannily blue.I can only see through it if I focus on certain spots and man when I do this place just gets stranger and stranger.As far as I can tell I'm in some sort of forrest but these trees seem to be....melting? And they're not green either but a weird hazel colour and every single one of them is dripping brown goo,with folds of the stuff running down the trunk.My ears pick up the 'plop plop' they make and I stand,my incredulity still firmly in place.I take two steps,my curiosity piqued, because I swear that stuff looks-and smells-like rich chocolate,but I'm halted by that sonorous voice."I wouldn't do that if I were you".

Totally forgot I'd been kidnapped.

I whirl around,the unearthly mist shifting around me,and all I can do is blink rapidly as he speaks.My mouth falls open and even when my jaw becomes tired I can't close it.All I can think is "This must be where all the real tree bark went".

"Do fix your face,that expression is quite unattractive.Im honestly very weary of you-" he pauses to look me up and down quite derisively "-beings and how long it takes you to become coherent when I bring you here.To sum it up,I am Ulrik,you are in the land of Opa,this is the Forrest of Cacoa and we shouldn't tarry.You mustn't touch any of the Freia,Gargol would be most upset and we cannot do with a night in the goal chamber.Now come"

He steps past me,body dispersing the soft blue haze and my eyes follow but my feet refuse to move.My brain decided everything he said was gibberish and left it at that,infact the poor lil fella is straight up on its way to declaring me insane.Meanwhile my eyes do their job and capture his image.He's taller than me,kinda like Keanu who stands at 5ft 10",which is the only normal thing about him.He's wearing....the mist? His legs appear to be covered in oscillating,rotating sheaths of the grey-blue that surrounds us and like the good little workers they are,my eyes zoom in and sure enough whatever material his 'pants' are made of is one heck of a camouflage.His head, upper body and feet are bare and his skin-if I can even call it that-is what can only be described as the bark of an oak tree.Despite this tough looking exterior,his limbs are puffy and thick.I blink. What-the-Fu-(oops)ig. A cuddly, talking,walking,marshmallow, bear looking tree.He even had a snout! Deep set dark eyes,bushy eyebrows and pointy ears that stuck up from his head.I shook my head vigorously from side to side in a futile attempt to make sense of what was going on.Im dream-walking.Hallucinating.I knew that burrito I had for dinner was too loaded,and that jittery Mexican man and his cart must have been distributing wonky mushrooms.Thats what I get for buying my dinner on the side of the road.

"Judah!" Wait what? I look up from where I'd been staring at the gumball marbles and he's about 10 feet away and looking super pissed.

"How do you know my name?"

"What a ridiculous question,I saw it in your mind"

"My mind?? Stay out of my head you-you-what exactly are you?"

"I am the finder,now we must go.The hour grows late and you are wasting time."

I planted my feet.Folded my hands.I was getting pretty steamed myself.

"I ain't going anywhere with you bozo so either you start decoding them riddles you're speaking in or I'm staying right here" I'm pretty much shouting at this point.His reply is just as loud and very succint.

"Fine!"

With that he turns,slams his walking stick-where did that come from?-into the ground and disappears into the mist.

My eyelids are exhausted.All this rapid blinking is tiring them out.I turn in a slow circle,seeing nothing but spots of melting tree through the filmy blue grey haze.What choice do I have really? I shrug my granny night gown clad shoulders and follow him.

I didn't realise how creepy this place was until about five minutes after the Tree Bear vanished.It went from mystical to ominous real quick,the 'plop plop' starting to sound eerie and menacing.By then I had walked no more than fifty feet in the powdery,all encompassing fog and despite my rising apprehension the towering Freia ( funny how I remembered that but not Tree Bear's name) were really starting to look appetizing.They were growing fairly close together and there was one about two feet in front of me that I couldn't stop staring at.

The chocolate-and I'm a hundred per cent sure it is now-was oozing and flowing, undulating in this mesmerizing,almost seductive way and I couldn't tear my gaze from it.I know Tree Bear man warned me against touching the stuff but I can't imagine why.

I was alone.

Who would know? Plus I really needed a sugar rush.I looked up at the towering,beautiful mass of brown goodness and reached out to touch.I had one second to process the thick,creamy texture before I was yanked forcefully back by the scruff of my gown.

Tree Bear.

"You blockheaded dunderwhelp! Disobedient fool! Did you not hear what I said? A chit like you wouldn't last a second in the goal chamber.Curse Glob for this assignment!" His eyes were wide and glinting,his plump cheeks puffing in an out,his snout quivering.His body looked ready to burst with trapped tension.Dude sure had a temper,he was absolutely livid.

And ofcourse all my brain could send to my mouth was "Isn't it dunderhead and not dunderwhelp?"

His little beady eyes went frog like and bulging.

"That's what you heard?!" His yelling brought my hands up to protect my eardrums.I glared at him."This is alot to process and I haven't understood a word you've said since you opened your hairy mouth! Quit hollering at me and start speaking English!"

"Am I speaking a dialect unknown to you? The switch to your tongue is usually instantaneous but if you cannot decipher what I say then-" My eardrums were safe-for the moment-so I threw my hands up in frustration and cut him off.

"I get the words,you moron,but not what they mean! You haul me into this weird creepy place with no explanation and expect me to follow you! Who follows a mind reading Tree Bear! For all I know you're taking me to your den of Tree Bears to spear me like a kebab and slow roast me over a bonfire while singing 'kum-bah-yah'!" I'm pacing back and forth infront of him,my arms gesticulating while he stands with his Moses rod and stares at me.

"I am Ulrik the Finder,not Tree Bear" I stop pacing,look at his slightly confused face and slap my forehead with my palm.I sigh and massage my temples,pacing once again."Let's try this again-what exactly do you 'find'?"

His eyes follow me but he is absolutely still as he speaks."Not what,but whom.I am tasked with seeking and recruiting any being from your realm who possesses a gift of Glob.Upon the awakening of your abilities this morn I became aware of your location and was able to extract you before Gargol was able to detect you.Come to think of it," He tilted his shaggy head,his eyes widening imperceptibly with this new realisation, "you are indebted to me for that act alone human!" My glare was out again in full force."Well excuse me for not falling down and prostrating myself before you while I sing you praises and kiss your big hairy feet,but I've been almost suffocated to death by my room, levitated like Jean Grey and thrown into some freaky weird alternate dimension all in less than half an hour! I haven't even had my coke yet!"

"I will never understand why you homosapiens," who the sourkraut says that??? "insist on stuffing your rather fragile bodies with harmful addictive substances.What are they called? Drugs?" He shook his head at this,"incredibly asinine if you ask me".

Smack.Ouch,darn it facepalms hurt."Not cocaine! Coke!" His brows knit and as he's raising a sanctimonious finger to interject I clarify.

"Coca-Cola! You know,the heavenly fizzy happiness in a bottle?" Even I can feel the lovesick glaze begining to cover my eyes as I continue."The sweet, beautiful life giving energy booster that makes the world a better place" Okay maybe that was a bit much but bloody hell I haven't gone ten minutes after waking up without a cold crisp coca-cola in like.....man in like forever really. Maybe I am sort of a junkie.....

"Most certainly you are.If I am remembering the information correctly,that beverage contains an abhorrent amount of sugar and caffeine,both of which are highly addictive.How typically human of you.You are all so weak."

His mouth turns down in a disapproving frown and judgement is all but rolling off him.I put a couple daggers in my glare and aim it at him.

"Stay out of my head! And we're off topic,Ulrik of,wait where am I again?"

"The land of Opa" He says it reverently with open arms.Solemn look in his eyes.I look him up and down.

Theatrical much? "And where do you want to take me?"

"We must travel to Aorta to meet with the others before nightfall.It is a full day's journey and your lollygagging is costing us valuable time".

I put my hand up and pat the air,scrunch up my face,squint through my eye lids."Wait,hold up,aorta as in heart,artery aorta?"

His turn to squint now."If you know of Aorta why are you so befuddled?"

I roll my eyes and throw up my arms again.This conversation is becoming a real pain in the caboose."It's in the dictionary! They babble about it in my biology lecture,I know the English definition but not what it means here in never weirder land!"

"It is where all Globites meet,in the town of Cardoza.Our headquarters,if you may.Now come,we must leave."

Before I can object,he grabs me by my arm and we fall into a deep dark abyss that opened up under his feet.Yup,back into shock I go.