First Love: A Love Once Lost

PROLOGUE

After I shower, I was looking for something I can wear inside my closet when something catches my eye; a bear stuffed toy wearing a pink shirt with 'Hug Me' written on it, I smiled when I saw it in the corner of my closet that was partially covered by some of my clothes...I took it and held it...

Caressed that bear's face...

A memory came back to my mind...

A memory to this day is still very clear to me...

I miss him-so much... I've missed him three times more...

I shook and sighed tapping the stuffed toy. "How are you? Aren't you sad that you're alone there in my closet?" I said to the bear that I was holding and then smiled bitterly. "I miss him...I wonder, how he is now?" I sadly said, suddenly a tear falls down my cheek. I thought I would never cry again-when I think of him...

But it's still hard to forget the past that gave you meaning, made you so happy, taught you how to love, that what is love really is, and what it feels like to be loved by someone you once dreamed of... it is difficult to forget the memories that come back spontaneously. A memories left and imprinted on my mind, soul, and in my heart... even a few years later, he still won't disappear from my mind... and I don't think that will happen either-to lose him from my heart and in my mind...if only...

A knock from the door caught my attention;

"Laine, will you fix my phone? I think there's something wrong with it," my mom's voice.

"Alright, ma. I'll just get dressed," I replied shouted. I faced the bear and stroked its face again. "I'll bring you back inside," I said sadly. And then I got dressed and quickly touch up myself; when I came out of my room, I was surprised that the whole house was quiet, I think my mom and I are the only ones here now.

Where are the others? I went straight out to the porch and looked for my mom, I was shocked when I saw him sitting on the couch on our porch... I didn't think he was here; I felt my heartbeat faster once more and he was the only one who could do this to me. I stopped at the door and stared at him until my mom tapped my shoulder...

"Dear, I want some snacks, please buy me a pizza and burgers," she said while pointing at whom I was facing.

He smiled sweetly at my mom who was able to show the dimple on his cheek, which is one of the reasons I loved him.

Those dimples...

His smiles...

"Yeah, sure po, tita," he answered softly.

His voice-that pierces my heart every time I hear and sounds like music to my ears...

I turned my attention to my mom as if I was asking her what she meant by doing this because I'm confused why she has to do this. But she just smirked at me and tapped me on the shoulder yet, I know that this is just her plan...

He got up from his seat. "Let's go?" he asked me.

"Huh? Me?" I asked in astonishment while pointing my hand at my chest.

He smiled again, that smile that melts me...

"Yes, you are," he nodded.

He quickly got on his motorbike and started the engine, he waited for me to ride behind it. And when I got on board, he speedily started his motorbike without any notice so that I could hug behind him unintentionally.

It's a good thing I didn't fall!

I saw his broad smile in the side mirror of his motorbike, and he obviously meant it. I slightly smiled then leered because his dimples were very obvious in his smile which added to his good looks. Add to that the smell of his perfume that once made me hooked. I close my eyes and inhale his masculine scent...

A familiar scent that I loved to smell...

And when I opened my eyes and looked at the side mirror, I saw him still smiling, I instantly bit my lower lip and averted my eyes...

There he is again; he's speeding up my heartbeat once more, I seem to be mesmerized by his eyes which once happened. His eyes were fascinating to stare at that any woman would be obsessed with him.

Please, stop what you are doing...

I might continue to love you...

CHAPTER 1: FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

LALAINE'S POV

Have you ever had a crush?

What is love?

Do you believe in love?

Do you believe in love at first sight?

How about First love never dies?

How do you know that you are in love with someone?

According to psychology theory, love has 3 feelings; it is lust, attraction, and attachment.

Lust is different from love,

Attention is based on obsession,

Attachment isn't exclusive to romance.

What does love do to a person?

Did you know that being in love can decrease appetite?

Being in love makes you happy.

Being in love can change you.

Love can make you sick,

But sometimes, love can be a pain reliever,

Love is blind to the point you can't see anyone but him/her, or let's say you don't see his/her faults, but you still love him/her. Sometimes when you fall in love with someone your whole world will just only spin with him/her

Having a trust can make your relationships stronger.

What if you fell in love for the first time but you were hurt?

But you really can't avoid being hurt when you love. Because not all love stories end in a 'happy ending'

Sometimes you also need to be hurt just to learn, just like the other people said, you can't learn to cook if you don't get burnt over and over again. Likewise with love you will be hurt first before you learn...

But what if you suddenly lose your feelings for the person you love?

Can you fight how you feel about that person, just don't lose him/her forever?

But the only thing that I can say is-

Love is definitely complicated.

**

I'm Lalaine Cole F. Mendoza, a freshman student at McKinley High School. I am a shy type, a simple girl happy-go-lucky person, and friendly. I have a white complexion but just have a cute height. My favorite color is pink. I love watching romance movies, I love reading romance novels that made me believe that when it comes to love there is always a happy ending...

I can dance but not very well, I am just a simple person; happiness is shallow for me. I have 5 siblings, our eldest is Kuya Wayne followed by Ate Elisse, Kuya Jim, Ate Stella, and the youngest from us Cody. Our loving parents are Steve and Liza who supported us in everything we wanted, and they were both hardworking for our family.

And we are one big happy family...

**

Ate Dudez woke me up this morning because this is my first day as being a freshman in McKinley High School, MHS for short. Dudez is my big sister's babysitter to her children, she's with me because my family flew yesterday to Albay. My grandfather on my dad's side passed away due to his old age, and complications.

It's just sad that I didn't go to Albay to see my late grandfather at least for the last time. My mom, dad, ate Ella (ate means big sister) and her kids, my little brother and my kuya's kids (kuya means big brother) went for my grandpa's wake. They were the only ones who went because I can't be absent from school. So, I was left at home with ate Dudez.

I quickly took a shower and dress in my high school uniform. Then, eat the breakfast that Dudez prepares for me. She called me again when Robert our neighbor friend arrived. He is in senior high school now. Oh, by the way, we just moved here to McKinley Homes in Bulacan three weeks ago. So, my parents and my sister told

Robert to take care of me while they are not around. So, that's why Robert is picking me up now.

I finally took a last glance at my mirror before leaving the house, and then Robert and I left for school. I barely know him thus I am so shy to talk to him right now. But he is kind, he is approachable and gentlemanly, I'm just kind of too shy to talk to him. And I'm not the type of person who talks with people, especially if I'm not very close yet to them.

We reached the campus quickly; it was just a few miles away from our subdivision. The trip to our school was silent until we arrived at MHS. As luck would have it, Robert broke the silence for us. As I said I am somewhat shy to talk to him.

"Laine, we are here. Welcome to McKinley High School!" Robert declares and flashes his smile. I awkwardly smile and then nod to him.

Oh, this is it! I looked at our school with every building that it has. The students are in hurry and looking for their respective classrooms. The school is so great, the building is very spacious and exquisite, it also has a huge covered court where the students can play various outdoor games. And do their physical activities, and also any other school events.

This is only my second time here. Because the first time I was here was when Tito Roel our neighbor took me here, and help me to enroll. He used to be a famous singer in his time.

I was excited and at the same time feel nervous. I don't know anyone else here but just Robert. Hopefully, I can get along with my new classmates here.

If we hadn't moved, I would have been with my classmates in elementary school that I got compatible with them and I've been with them for long years. It's also sad that I'm separated from my childhood best friend.

I suddenly miss them!

"What is your section, Laine?" Robert asks me and cuts me off to my thoughts.

I immediately turned to him. "A-ah, Diamond. 1- Diamond," I stuttered and then looked back to the building and various students walking down the field.

"Oh, you're in the Jica building, it's on the first floor. Come on, I'll take you there," he said with a smile. He led the way to that building, and he accompanied me to my classroom.

As soon as we arrived in front of my classroom, I hesitate to go inside. Of course, this is new, new ambiance and new classmates. I peeked at the window where I could see my new classmates. It looks like they've known each other and I'm the only one who doesn't.

I can't understand how I feel right now.

Ugh! Then that, Robert saw my expression.

He also peeked at the window then turned to me. "It's okay Laine, make some new friends. I think they are all good. They don't bite," he joked.

"I-I'm just kind of shy, you know, it's the first day."

"Yeah right. I know how it feels too, I was like that when I was in my first year. If you want, I can join you at lunch?" he said shyly while scratching his nape.

"Sounds good," I nodded to him. "And besides I don't know anyone here yet."

He smiles at me, then we said our goodbyes before I enter my room. Oh, God thanks to him he accompanied me. Robert is a nice guy, yeah, he is. My sister and Dudez are teasing me to him, even though they barely know him because we just moved here. They always say that we are good to each other. But...

I just can't. I like him as a friend only.

When I entered the room, I turned around and looked for an empty seat. I noticed they were looking at me maybe I wasn't familiar with them, but almost all of them already knew each other. I looked in the left row looking for a vacant seat, but I saw that there were only male students sitting there.

I turned to the right row again, until a curled hair girl called my attention. She waved her hand at me and gestured me to sit next to her, I shyly walked over to her then, they put me in the middle of her friend. I sat down in the middle of them and smiled at them both.

"Thank you." I shyly said then put my bag on the chair.

"Hi, I'm Cherry!" the curled hair girl greeted me warmly and held out her hand.

I reached for it with a smile. "I'm Lalaine Cole Mendoza, but you can call me Laine."

"Wow! Cool name, I like that, Cole! It sounds sassy!" Cherry said in awe, I smiled as she complimented my name.

The girl on my left held out her hand to me and I handed it to her with a smile. "Hello, by the way, I'm Chelle. Are you new here? Because your face is not familiar to us."

"Yes, we just moved here last summer. So, I'm kind of shy because I don't know anyone here yet."

"I thought so! It's okay though, the others here are also newcomers, like you, but almost all of us here knew each other because we're all the same in elementary school came from," Cherry snapped.

"But don't be ashamed, you're with us," Chelle said happily.

Cherry clung her left arm to my right arm. "Yeah, Chelle is right. You will get to know them too."

"Thank you, girls!" I thankfully replied to them.

"No problem, Laine! From now on, we are friends," Chelle winked at me.

Cherry flicked her fingers. "Of course! And we are glad to meet you, Laine," she grinned.

They're really kind...how lucky I am to have them as a friend, that for the first time they had immediately shown me kindness.

"So, where are you from school?" Chelle suddenly asked as she looked at herself in her pocket mirror.

I looked at both of them. "Ah, I studied at Saint Vincent also here in Bulacan. How about you two? Does your elementary school is just near here on our campus?"

"Yeah, McKinley Elementary School, it's just also a public school," Cherry replied as I nodded at her.

"So, you live in?" Chelle queried.

I looked at the watch I was wearing before I answered her. "At McKinley Homes, but we just move here a few weeks ago and in Sta. Maria, we used to live."

"Whoa! That's far from here, it's a good thing you moved here to McKinley and we met!" Cherry replied cheerfully.

"Ah, I see. It means that you are destined to meet us and to be friends with us. Yay!" We are meant to be, the three of us," Chelle said softly laughing her eyes get even narrowed, I also laughed at her.

Cherry suddenly tapped Chelle on her arm. "So, you mean seems to have in a relationship?" she questioned as her eyebrow was a bit arched. Chelle nodded at her, "Eh, were three so, it's the third wheel?" she added.

"Yeah, and you are the mistress! Just kidding!" Chelle said laughing so I also laughed because of what she said.

"You are crazy, Chelle! you even made me a mistress. I haven't even had a boyfriend yet!" Cherry immediately spanked her on the hand and tried to reach because I was in the middle of them.

Chelle and I laughed even more at what Cherry said. Chelle's face was almost red with laughter. That's why our other classmates turned their attention to the three of us seems to be wondering why we are laughing.

While our adviser has not yet arrived, I observed the rest of our classroom it was big compared to my classroom back then, and it was neat and clean overall. Even my new classmates are all talking and having their own worlds. They already knew each other based on what I see in them that they are close to each other.

Although, there are also newcomers like me that I can see sitting quietly at the back. They all look kind, even though you can see in others that some of the male students seem to be mischievous. While the others look innocent.

Luckily, I met Cherry and Chelle right away, I was happy and felt belonged with them, they treated me well right away. I think I can get along with these two amiable ladies. Thankfully, I immediately made two new friends despite the first day of school...

I hope to make more new friends...

CHAPTER : CAUGHT OFF

When the bell rang, the other students entered their respective rooms, only a few can be seen walking in the hallway. Shortly afterward, our class adviser, she's Mrs. Paz the first time who entered the room, I felt that she is amiable. And I'm right because she's kind even when she speaks to us, the way she talks was so tender, she's not like some strict teachers that you can just see in their appearance.

Thankfully, I somehow lost my nervousness because our adviser was kind, I've been thinking about what if our adviser is rugged or just strict. And it's also unavoidable to be nervous on the first day of school. It's also good because Cherry and Chelle are fun to talk to and love to joke so, it also reduces the nervousness and tension I used to feel a while ago.

And since its the first day of school, we are instructed one by one to introduce ourselves in front of the class. Started in the first seats, what do we expect? This is exactly what is done on the first day of class. You will be introduced to say your full name, nickname you want to be called, birthday, address, and what is your hobby and talent. Some of our classmates were asked by Mrs. Paz to show off their talent in front of us.

Luckily, I wasn't included in them that need to show their talent!

Geez! That's embarrassing for me...

We just continued until the end of the first period of class. After that, our adviser bid goodbye and told us to wait for our other subject teacher, and she even instructed us not to leave the room during our class in other subjects. Also, not to hang around in the hallway during class time because it will definitely disturb other sections that are in class.

That's right, students should not hang out in the hallway, especially during the class period. It's not decent to see that during the class period, several students were scattered in the hallway. Apart from the other adjacent classrooms being distracted, the principal might blame the teacher because they were not there at that time.

I was startled when someone touched my back-and when I looked back at her, she gave me a wide smile. I remember her when she introduced herself earlier in front of our class. I was instantly impressed with her beauty when she stood in front of us. She's pretty indeed!

I guess she will be a muse of our section.

"Hello, Lalaine, right?" she immediately asked me then, I nodded at her. "By the way, I'm Missy, have you just moved to the McKinley Homes Subdivision?" she added.

I looked at her in a bit of shock. "Y-yeah, I'm Lalaine Cole, we just moved there last summer," I smiled in my response.

"I saw you earlier with Robert-actually, I am also in that subdivision," she grinned.

"Woah! That's nice, what phase and street are you in?"

"We are in phase two, Mahogany Street, I was in my service when I saw Robert and you together in phase 4. We just picked up my service mate there," she bit her lower lip. "Is he your boyfriend? Are you two in a relationship?" she asked a teasing question.

I shook my head right away when I heard her question. "No, we were just friends. He just picked me up at our house because I didn't know how I was going here yet. He's the only one-I know, I'm in phase 4 by the way," I shyly respond at her.

"Ah, I thought you were his girlfriend, I think you're perfect for each other. Yieee! Oh, he has a brother here, that's the one holding a black scarf, his name is JC," at the same time, she pointed to our male classmate who was sitting in the other row on the left.

And yes, he does look like Robert, you can't deny that they are both brothers.

"Really? I don't know that his brother is our classmate and also, we didn't know each other so far."

"Ah, he didn't introduce his brother to you? Hmm, So, Robert isn't really courting you?" her tanning again.

"I don't think so? We're just friends," I scratched my nape as she was so voluble. "By the way Missy, this is Cherry and Chelle," I turned to them and introduce her to them.

"Are you new here too? You're not familiar either," Chelle queried.

"Yeah, in our subdivision I graduated my elementary, not here near on our campus. Since there is a private school in our subdivision," Missy answered.

"Wow! Rich kid!" Cherry joked.

"She's also live in McKinley Homes, we're in the same subdivision," I said to them as they both nodded.

"Nice! Have you two known each other? Or just now?" Chelle asked as she pointed to Missy and me.

"I saw her earlier, but we didn't know each other yet, just now," Missy smiled at her that almost her eyes could no longer see, Chelle and Missy both have narrowed eyes.

Cherry tapped Missy's shoulder. "So, welcome to our club! You are now part of us! Yay!" she said excitedly.

Missy was a bit shocked. "Oh, really? Ah, thank you! I'm glad to be part of your friendship."

"Of course, and we are all pretty ladies! Right, Lalaine?" Cherry nudged me so, I somewhat laughing nodded at her.

"And-single ladies!" Chelle snapped then, slowly tucked her hair in her ear.

Missy teasingly looked at me. "Eh, probably Lalaine is not single just like us," I was suddenly shocked at what she'd said.

"Hey! I'm still single-and no boyfriend since birth," I bit my lip when I said that.

That's right, I haven't had a boyfriend yet, I only just had a crush when I was in elementary but I haven't tried dating yet. Even though I love romance movies and novels, but I also want to experience being with my boyfriend in the love stories I watch and read-someday...

The romantic relationship I ever dreamed of!

We just stopped talking when a slim lady came into our room, probably our next subject teacher. English is our next subject, when I looked at my timetable so, perhaps she's our English teacher. With her voice so weak we could hardly hear what she was saying and her voice was also a bit hoarse.

I focused my attention on her because I couldn't quite understand what she was saying for the reason of the weakness of her voice. Probably only students in front could barely hear her, she just laid down all her rules and regulations, then we also introduced each other in front of our class.

All-day long, for sure, we will make sure to do it...

Time flies' lunchtime is approaching, the first day of school is still fine. My new classmates are good, and they are all jolly and friendly. They were the first who approach me, I met Cherry, Missy, and Chelle. Cherry is talkative, noisy, has a bit of big-eye brown, quite brown but she's sweet. Missy has narrow eyes is a quite white complexion, an average body and she's kind of modesty. And Chelle has narrow eyes too, somewhat white, moderate body figure, but she is the smallest to us.

"Where are you going to eat Laine?" Cherry glanced at me. "Would you like to come with us?" she added.

"Oh. I have to meet Robert, I will join him for lunch. Maybe tomorrow I can join you, girls?' I shyly said to them.

"Uhm, Cherry, I can't join you for lunch today. I will join the girls at the Pearl section just for today," Chelle apologized as she was holding her pocket mirror.

"Me too Cherry, I'll join Aira," Missy added with a pouted lip.

"Fine!" Cherry sighs. "Wait, Who's Robert Laine? Is that the guy you were with earlier?" Cherry said with a wide eye open. I quickly shook my head.

"Boyfriend? I thought you are single?" Chelle teasing me.

"What? No, he's not my boyfriend. He's just my friend, my neighbor friend," I explained to them while shaking my head. And they'll nod to me while flashing their smiles at me.

Silly girls...

Missy teased me too. "Yieee! Laine, just admits it that he's your boyfriend."

"Funny, girls! We're not into a relationship, he's just an f-friend of mine."

"Ah, but he looks a nice guy though," Cherry replied.

I just scratched my neck because of what she said. "Yeah, yeah, he's kind! But I told you I'm not in a relationship and doesn't have a boyfriend."

Cherry suddenly squeezed my side. "Don't hide it from us, Lalaine. It's fine if you already have a boyfriend. It's unbelievable that you don't have a boyfriend, you are pretty! Duh!" she rolled her eyes.

I was just shaken by what he said. The naughty ones don't want to believe that still I'm single and don't have a boyfriend. If only I had for sure, I would have introduced them to him but am sorry for them because there really isn't. And so far, I haven't had a crush on here; it's just the beginning of our class that I'll think about that right away? of course not.

I won't think about that for now, study first, right?

When the bell rang for our lunch break, Missy and Chelle went out first to join their other friends and have lunch together. After a while, Cherry came out of the room to go to the room next to ours, she would just talk to one of her friends there. Since she doesn't have someone with whom to eat lunch.

While I am in our classroom's hallway, waiting for Robert to show up. As he said that he will join me for lunch and he will also show me the whole campus. I glanced at every student in the hallway at the same time who happily chatted with their acquaintances.

I also observed the whole of our building which is cream-colored and it only has three floors. While the other building they called the Main building has four floors. It's bigger than here in Jica, so, there are more students there. But they said that the students there were always in trouble compared to here in Jica that they called a star section, that's why there seem to be more students who want to be in Jica.

Luckily I'm in the Jica building...

I suddenly missed my old school and my friends in Saint Vincent especially, my childhood best friend. Will there ever be a chance for us to meet up again? That's why we all cried so hard during our graduation as we will be separated.

As I watched the students were in the hallway, my phone suddenly vibrated in my skirt pocket, and when I looked at who was texting me it was Robert. He said that Nick would eat with us in the cafeteria, he's also our neighborhood friend and he's also kind like Robert.

I just replied to Robert and looked back into the hallway; until I looked at the end of the hallway with a group of guys. A senior high school that laughing at each other. Then, I saw that guy, his eyes narrowed, he is tall, quite muscular, someone that's good-looking.

That type of you can look at again after you look at him for the first time...

Oh, my gosh! He has a dimple too, that every time he smiles or just talks it shows his pretty dimples and they were a-dazzle with wonder over a friendly smile. I stared at him, looking at him from head to toe and back to his good-looking face.

I was mesmerized by him...

It feels like something magical happened that I can't explain...

I don't know why, but I can't take my eyes off him. There's something that I don't understand, I can't explain how I feel at the moment. Is this what they called 'Love at first sight?' I don't believe in that, I thought it was just a saying, an urban myth. But when I saw him, it seemed like my belief in that suddenly changed. I suddenly felt this strange feeling desire that I want to know more about him. It seems that he already stole my heart.

Then, he noticed me staring at him;

We both looked at each other, eye to eye...then, he smiles again.

My heart stops...

I'm caught off guard, I don't know what to do next. Should I look away? Or should I go inside the classroom?