Fell In Love With My Roomy

JULIANNA

I wanted to live in a student apartment and be independent like my classmates.

My high school classmates mostly wanted to leave Rhode Island. I preferred staying. Why move 100 miles when I got into an Elite School near home?

I felt sad and alone as that seemed like a worse decision. I was in my bedroom while my peers were intoxicated in a frat basement. I saved plenty, but I couldn't afford to live alone, and none of my friends were seeking homes. Everyone I knew at school was closer to others, leaving me alone.

When the bus calls my stop, I calm down. I go up and wait at the door. I look around campus. Still calm. Only summer researchers and students were on campus.

I merely carried a tote bag today since I didn't have school or work. Coffee with an old buddy. I wore a tank top and summer shorts. I wasn't spectacular, but I took more time on my looks and getting ready today than I generally did for campus.

I strolled up to "The Grind," the campus coffee shop. It was near the arts center in a cute building. I check the blackboard promotions inside.

I wasn't social. I was shy with strangers and overly excited with friends. I was always in my brain, forcing myself to feel different depending on the situation.

"Hey, what can I get for you?" When the woman behind the counter asks, her lip piercing dances in the light, and I momentarily lose track of what I was thinking.

"Uh, could I get a latte with ice?" I ask quietly while looking for my wallet in my bag.

"How big is it?" He asks, not sounding very interested, and I try to be nicer, worried that she'll be upset that I didn't tell her sooner.

"A medium, please." When my hand finally closes around my wallet, I smile.

"Just regular milk?"

"Please, say yes!" I shrug and keep a light tone.

"That will be $62; do you have cash or a card?" She asks, and all of a sudden my heart starts racing. Almost $7 fucking dollars for an iced latte?

"Please take my card." I let out a sigh and pulled out my debit card. When I tap it against the machine, I feel like I can hear it crying. She gives me a number, and I wait for Carlo at a table.

I hook my bag to the back of my chair and look around for my cell phone. When my phone buzzes to let me know I have a text, I unlock it to read it properly.

CARLO [11 .01PM]

"Running late, see you in five"

It's 1.06 p.m. now, so he should be here soon.

"Julianna-banana!" I hear Carlo's big body coming over, and I see it too. I get up and give him a quick hug because I'm happy to see him again. He was the only person who ever called me by that name.

"Hi Carlo.' I smile at him, and he smiles back. He changed his hairstyle and got rid of his awful mustache. He used to say that it was what brought the girls in, and he wasn't wrong. Girls did seem to follow him around.

"You look good, what's going on?" When he asks, I just shrug.

"Not much, go get some coffee, and we'll talk.' I keep asking, and he smiles and walks toward the counter.

After a few minutes, he goes back to the table with a huge mug of coffee. He sits down and takes off his old flannel. "What'd you get?" I ask.

"Where's your black drip coffee?"

"They're still doing it." I give her a shrug and look up to see her struggling with the espresso machine. "No big deal, I just couldn't drink something hot."

"It's certainly warm." He nods in agreement and takes a sip of the black coffee. "So, how have you been, and how was your co-op?"

"It was pretty good, and I learned a lot and everything!' He gives a shrug.

Carlo and I had both been busy, so I hadn't been keeping up with him as well as I should have. We weren't really close friends to begin with, but now we were barely in each other's lives at all.

"They told me I could start work in two weeks."

"What?" I smile and ask, and he nods. "Wow, that's great! Congratulations!"

"It's pretty cool that if you get this degree, you can get a job right away." He laughs, and I laugh and roll my eyes. "I still can't believe I finished high school."

"I always forget that we aren't living in the same year. I shrug. "So, what do you want to do?"

"In a few days, I'll be moving back to New York. He says yes, and my eyebrows go up. "Your timing was good when you tried to set up a hangout!'

"You're leaving!' I say it again, and he nods. "Wow, that's a lot!"

"I know." He gives a shrug. "I think, though, that I'm ready to leave.'

"I don't think that's your fault." When I say yes, the woman behind the counter comes to give me my drink. I put the straw in the drink and move it around with the ice to mix it. I wasn't sad about that because I knew it was true and Carlo and I had never been close, especially after our philosophy class was over.

"What's the matter with you?" He changes the subject and asks, so I clear my throat.

"Not too much, because you know I'm dull.' He laughs when I mutter. "I'm writing a thesis for honors.'

"Wow, praise?" I nod when he mumbles. "Again, what show are you in?"

"History, with the early modern period as the main focus." I tell him again, and he nods.

I tried so hard not to be one of those stereotypical Brown University students who had random piercings on their faces, wore too many colors, and raised their hands in class too often to look smart. I was studying something I really liked and had my head down.

"What's your main point?" When he asks, I just shrug.

"My professor and I are still working on it, but it's about sexism and how it changed over time in early civilizations."

"Sounds like a lot." He shakes his head, leans back, and runs his hand through his thick, sandy hair. "You still work at the Coleman pool?"

I got a job as a lifeguard at the school's fitness center pool during my first year. I had my certification, so I decided to use it to get a job on campus. I usually did it between classes, and most of the time I guarded lanes and swam for fun.

"Yes, I just got a raise last month. I act like I'm proud, and he laughs.

"Cool." He gives a shrug. "You look different?' I try not to get too excited when he says something.

I had lost some of my extra weight. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough that I liked how I looked. Also, my hair had grown since he had last seen me, and I had a tan from the summer. Also, when Carlo and I hung out, I wore my "homeless chic" clothes, which were old jeans, warm sweaters, and worn-out sneakers. I got a good night's sleep, put on some simple makeup, and did my hair today.

"I think my depression is finally leaving me because it's summer and all.' I tease him, and he laughs. "You look different, too, but every time I see you, you look different."

"I know, because my girlfriend didn't like the mustache, so I stopped growing it. I raise my eyebrows when he shrugs.

"Did you start dating Kayla again?" I ask, trying to think of the name of the girl he used to date.

"No, I've met someone new in Jersey.' I agree with what he says. Carlo was a ladies' man at heart. He had bad ideas about dating and relationships, and he had a long list of phone numbers. He was the kind of guy I would never try to date. He was kind of a walking red flag. "Emma is her name, and I told her I had to go home first to take care of some things here.

"What's she like?"

"She's fun, nice, and tall." I roll my eyes when he shrugs. "Who've you been seeing?"

"I told him, "Absolutely no one." "I live with my parents, whose room is right next to mine, and I don't have a car. Those aren't good times to try to find a date."

I don't really care if I'm dating someone or not, to be honest. It didn't change anything about my life because I was too busy to date.

"When did you last go out with someone?" When he asks, I raise my eyebrows.

"I'm not sure.'

"You still live with your parents? I can't believe you haven't left, Juls. It's been two years."

"I say, "I can't." "I can't afford rent down here by myself, and I like being at home.' I defend myself by crossing my legs and leaning back in my chair.

In truth, I did like being home. Even my annoying little brother Jesse, I loved my mom and dad. I liked eating home-cooked meals that I didn't have to make, having Scrabble nights, and watching The Great British Bake-Off with my mom. I just hated going to work.

"You have to leave.' I roll my eyes and say, "No s***, Carlo."

I sigh and say, "I know that."

But it's not that bad; it's just the bus.'

"The bus that takes you to campus in about an hour?" He challenges. "Look, Juls, your backpack always looks like it weighs a hundred pounds, which means you don't sleep. I haven't seen you in months, but I can tell that the end of the semester has helped your mental health a lot."

"Well, what should I do about that?" I ask. "All of that is true, but this is how things are. No one is looking for someone to live with. I huff, lean back in my chair, pick up my glass, and take a bitter sip of my drink.

I don't know if I'm an adult enough to do it anyway, because I never have my stuff together, and I don't know if I could pay my bills.

"Wait." He tells me while giving me a strange look and pulling out his phone. "I know how to solve your problem and mine at the same time.'

"Wait." He tells me while giving me a strange look and pulling out his phone. "I have the perfect answer to both of our problems."

"What do you want to say?" I ask because I'm afraid Carlo's mind has come up with something stupid. I was the more reasonable of the two of us, and I was the one who often asked him to explain what he was doing.

"My friends, those with whom I live?" When he talks, I agree. "Well, I can't stay where I am, so I'm leaving this year."

"Okay?'

"Everyone renewed our lease, but I didn't."

"Don't all of those guys go to your school?" I'm confused, so I ask. "Didn't they finish high school with you?"

"No, I was not a freshman. I met them when I was in my second year of living in the dorms. We also all played basketball against each other in the gym." When he talks, I raise my eyebrows.

"Are they in their fourth year like I am?" I say "yes," and he nods.

"Yeah, and they can't find anyone to move into the fourth room," he says, and my mind immediately goes to the best part. 15 minutes on foot from campus. "Since I told them I was taking that job in Jersey, they've been looking for weeks."

"There must be someone who wants to move in with them." I won't give up, and I don't know why it's come to this. To Carlo selling his apartment to a friend he doesn't see all that often.

"They don't want a dumb first-year student or a kid who wants to party with the fourth-year students." He tells me. "On top of that, they want someone like you, who isn't messy or loud."

"But I've met those guys, and they're loud and messy." I tell him, and he laughs.

"Last year, Mark was drunk in the living room and tried to do a handstand. In the process, he kicked a hole in the wall." He tells me, and my mouth drops. "Our landlord almost kicked us out because they're in trouble and want someone to blame."

"S-so-"

"You should move into the room I used to have." He says quickly and opens his phone right away, moving his thumbs quickly across the screen. "They need someone to fill the room, and you would be so close to campus."

Is he for real? My mind is going a mile a minute. I could do so much more, go out more than twice a year, and sleep a lot more than I do now.

I ask, "Who lives there?" and he smiles.

"You've met Mark and Kyle before, right?"

"I believe so." I mumble as I try to remember where they are. "Perhaps once?"

"Cool, but there's also Kent."

I ask, "Kent?" and he nods. "I've never met him."

"No, I don't think so. You've never seen him before.' He tells me what's going on, and my mind starts to catch up. It's not all fun and short walks to campus.

"You want me to live with three guys I don't know?" He sighs, but he seems to understand where I'm coming from. "That's a lot, Carlo. I have no idea how to live on my own, and I don't think-"

He begs, "Please do it." "We can't find anyone else, so until they find someone else, the three of them are paying the rent." He keeps on, and I give up. "You know me, Juls, and you know I wouldn't tell you to do something bad."

"You would, right?" He rolls his eyes when I insist.

"Maybe if it was something like stealing traffic cones or doing drugs, but not if it would mess up your life." He tells me, and I agree, that Carlo was a softy who would never want me to be hurt or sad. "I know these guys, and they're good people who will like you."

"What if they don't like me?"

"That won't happen." He assures me. "You'd be doing me a huge favor if you helped me. I feel like I'm getting out of helping these people."

"All right, what do they think?" I ask, and he gives me a shrug.

"I could send you a text? We could go over there and look around right now.' He keeps on, and I give up.

"What's up?" I ask, and his answer makes my stomach turn.

I was too shy around new people to be able to meet them.

"Yeah, I just sent them a message saying that a friend of mine wanted to look at the house." He explains, and as he turns his phone around to face me, I swallow the lump in my throat.

I hadn't seen Carlo in months, and I wasn't sure how well I knew him. Now I was going to live with his friends? That didn't make any sense.

But the campus was so close. Close to work, school, and my other activities. This was a great chance for me because I wouldn't have been able to find new roommates before the semester started.

"Um..." I mumble, and then I come to my senses. You have nothing to lose by going to look. "Sure, let's go.'

He smiles and sends a message back to his friends. I go back to my coffee and try to finish it before we have to get up.

"They want you to meet them." When he tells me, I smile and feel relieved. I could do this and take care of it. Carlo would never live with bad people, he's too nice. "Let me just get a to-go cup for the rest of my coffee, and I'll bring you over."

As soon as I finish my drink, he quickly gets up from the table. I then sit back and run my fingers through my hair. Relax Juls, just be normal. It will be fine, and if you do well, you won't have to live with your parents for long.

"Ready?" Carlo stands over me at the table and asks, "What's up?" I stand up and grab my bag.

"Sure." I take a weak breath and smile as I get my dish and number.

"You don't have to do that, someone comes around and clears the tables." I roll my eyes when he tells me.

"I just want to help. If nothing else, I can get them to the front." I tell him yes, and the angry woman behind the counter seems at least a little glad that I helped. I smile at her and walk back to Carlo, who is waiting patiently by the door.

"Juls, you will love this place. I'm aware of it." He tells me not to worry, puts his arm around my shoulder, and leads me out the door.

I really want him to be right.

I keep up with Carlo as he winds through the city. I couldn't remember how to get to his place because I'd only been there once and not for very long.

I'm so nervous that I can't stand it, and my palms are sweating like crazy. All I can think about is how weird I am. This might not seem like a big deal, but for me it is. I've always been awkward. I only stopped being awkward in the last year or two, but I still say stupid things.

"It's on top." Carlo points to a white house on the corner and says, "There it is." A college house is the most common place for students to live all over the country. And, like most college houses, it was divided into three smaller apartments. I thought Carlo lived in the suite in the basement.

"I forgot the part about the basement." He laughs when I mumble.

"It's big, has high ceilings, and everything else." He tells me not to worry, and I follow him to the side door.

I walk into the space and look around as I blink. He was right; for a basement, the ceilings were pretty high. The living room was right next to me. It had a big leather sectional and a flat-screen TV. On the left was a pony wall with shoes, and on the other side was the front closet and dining table. Behind the dining area was the kitchen, and straight ahead was a hallway with doors.

"So? It's not too bad, huh? When he asks, I nod and shrug. The floor and walls could have used a sweep and mop, but I didn't mind too much.

"It's great." He smiles when I shrug.

"I have to go to the bathroom. You wait here, and I'll show you the rest in a minute." He insists and holds out his hands. I nod and watch him walk down the hall.

I look around a bit, but I don't move. I just look at all the crap that's everywhere. The traffic cones in the corner and the beer boxes on the walls. It was a college house, and that's what college students did. How would it be to be in the same room as men? I didn't really know, but at home, all three of my family members and I shared a bathroom, and I knew how to clean up after myself. It might not be so bad.

"Hey." I hear one guy say this as he comes out of the back room and into the kitchen. "Don't I know you?" He asks, and I take a tense breath because I couldn't remember who he was.

"I-um, I'm not sure, but it's possible we've met before." I shrug. He had blonde hair and blue eyes, and he could have been any guy I'd ever met. "I'm Juls"

"Right! I remember you, Juls.' He smiles and goes through the cabinets while snapping his fingers. "The first time we met, we all played cards in the lounge of the residence hall."

"Oh, okay." I do the same. I had forgotten about the people we played with, but I was starting to remember.

"You look different, and it's hard to recognize you." He tells me, and I make a funny face.

"Is it different in a good or bad way?" When I ask, he laughs and puts a box of frosted flakes down on the counter.

"Good." He tells me this as he rips the top off the box, and my smile grows. "I'm Kyle."

"Right." I sigh and think about it better now. "Sorry, that happened about 2 1/2 years ago."

"Don't worry." He gives a shrug, opens the box, pulls out the bag, and shakes some right into his mouth. "So, are you still friends with Carlo?" He asks while still chewing, and I laugh.

"We haven't talked as much," she said.

"What's going on? "Where are you two today?" He asks while chewing and swallowing the food in his mouth.

"Well, sort of?" I shrug. "Um, I'm actually here to look at your open room." I did worry that he wouldn't like what I said.

"Really?" He asks with enthusiasm, and I nod. "That's great! We've been looking for a new roommate for weeks!"

"Carlo said that, and I want to get out of my house!" I say that I did, and he smiles and puts the box back down.

"Hey Mark!" Kyle is in the kitchen and calls. Mark comes out of the door on the right side of the hallway. Mark was good looking too, just like Kyle. It was obvious that these were Carlo's friends and that they were all pretty. Was I even pretty enough for them to want to live with me?

"Hey Dusty.' He says something, then takes a moment to look at me and then back at Kyle. "Who are you?"

"Juls, you've met Juls before, dude." He won't give up, so Mark raises an eyebrow. "She was Carlo's friend, and the first year she played cards with us."

"Oh, right," he says, and he seems happier about my coming. Mark was probably about five-eight inches shorter than Kyle. He was a good match for his red hair, and the freckles on the bridge of his nose made him look even better. "Is Carlo here to see you?"

"No, you idiot, she's here to see the apartment!" Kyle speaks up and keeps pouring cereal from the box into his mouth.

"Oh, you're the person Carlo sent us a text about."

"Yeah, being closer to campus would be nice." I say yes, and he agrees.

"Well, we probably shouldn't make any big decisions until Kent gets back!" He shrugs, and I agree with him by nodding. "You met Kent before?"

"Nope." I admit. I was most worried about that, but at least I knew the other guys.

"He's a good guy, you'll like him." Mark tells me that. "Do you want to see the rest of our house?"

"Sure." I just give him a shrug, and he smiles and leads me down the hall. Kyle is following behind with a box of cereal.

There are seven doors in the hall.

"I own this room on the right." Mark says as he quickly shows me his messy room. "Kyle's is the one across the hall." He says this, and Kyleg opens his door to show me that his room is mostly clean. "This is the complete bathroom." He keeps moving forward one step at a time to the next door on the right. It was pretty big and had a toilet, a sink with a lot of counter space, and a shower. "And over there is our laundry room and a half-bath." It was closed, but Carlo was probably still inside.

"Two toilets!" When I say it again, they both nod.