Fate By a Thread

Maria Cecilia

I've been studying at Colégio Santa Inês since I was a little girl, my mother who always woke up with everything even though she worked hard, preferred to pay for my studies by fulfilling her dream of being a hairdresser, but when I was little we would never be able to open a business of our own because it wasn't just the course but materials, products, employees and not to mention the clientele since we didn't know many people in the city

It was me, my mother who always supported me in anything and everything I wanted to do, my father who was always a problem in our lives as he has a drinking and gambling problem, my grandmother who always made it very clear that I am the least loved granddaughter in the family

And we also had João Paulo who was my brother who I had the most responsibilities in life, I took care of him a lot so that our mother could work and support us with good studies and all the good and the best that she could give us, but God called him early , I mean, some bastard hit him on the way home from school

I only had a few abrasions, but my brother wasn't so lucky, I tried to pull him to the other side so that at least he wouldn't get hurt, but it was so fast that I couldn't do it in time.

My brother had several fractures all over his body and was in a coma for many months, at first we took him to a public hospital, but the driver who hit him ordered a lawyer to come the next day to look for us and offer all the treatment for my brother.

- Flashback -

- Good afternoon! I'm Dr Carlos Parada and I'm a lawyer for the client who ran over João Miguel Reis, he gave me carte blanche to transfer his son to a private hospital where he will pay all the expenses

Blanca – There is no need, sir, and I sincerely hope that your client is sorry after running over an innocent child because he was drunk.

Dr Carlos Parada – He is! That's why he said that I would only leave here with the transfer of the boy to the best hospital

Blanca – Well then, you'll be stuck there for the rest of your years, have a good time! - she said turning his back.

Maria Cecília – Mom, think about it! We know how public hospitals are, today they have doctors and tomorrow they don't, and not to mention how are we going to pay for medicine?

Blanca – That won't get your brother out of his coma Maria Cecília!

Maria Cecília – That's why mom, let's do this for him!

🎞 End of Flashback 🎞

In the same afternoon my brother had been transferred, I took care of him for long months, my mother and I always took turns while I studied in the morning she took care of him

When I got home from school I would stay until mid-morning and it was like that for 3 long months until the day my brother died and the driver had the courage to go to the funeral saying that my brother's death would not go unnoticed because he would give R$ 100 thousand reais, as if his life was worth only that

My mother and I wanted to reject it, but my mother thought a lot and since my brother would not have his life back at least mother could fulfill her dream of having the profession she always wanted, hairdressing and I could also have my studies guaranteed which was what I most wanted in life and that was how my mother managed to fulfill her dream of having her own business

3 months after my brother's death we all tried to move forward with life as we could, my grandmother of course blamed me for not taking care of my brother properly and that's why the car picked him up even though the whole family was already aware that the driver I was drunk and we were on the sidewalk but I was more than used to all of Grandma's insults

It was easier for Saci to cross her legs or see a codfish head than for Grandma to ever have a kind word with me.

But even though I was used to it, I still suffered, I tried to understand why she always acted that way, but my mother always tried to pass the cloth saying she was the age

6 months after all the suffering my mother was taken by surprise. She became pregnant with Elizabeth, at first it was very difficult because my mother was close to graduating as a hairdresser and my father, as always, spent all the money he saw ahead on games and drink, luckily she used all of my brother's indemnity to set up the salon and pay for the course and the rest she put in a bank for any eventuality

Elizabeth was born healthy and became the youngest baby in the house and I felt that my mission as a protective sister would continue until the day Elizabeth reached the age of majority.

And I would take care of her and play my role as a protective sister like I couldn't do with João Paulo

Blanca – Daughter, aren't you going to school today?

Maria Cecília – I'm going mom, I just came to get this book since it's math class and I'll need to

Blanca – All right, I'll go out with you, today is the day to give Elizabeth the vaccine

Maria Cecília – My little pimpolhinha is always quiet when she takes the vaccine – I said giving her a little kiss on her chubby thigh

I was very excited whenever I went to school, as I would see my prince charming that I've been in love with since I was 7 years old and I'm already 15 years old and since then I've never stopped loving him.

My best friend Mariana always says that I should confess to him, but would Bernardo Marrontinne fall in love with a simple person and the daughter of a hairdresser like me?

Not that I was ashamed of my mother's profession, but as I know he was the son of a millionaire and I believe he would never look at me

Mariana – What are you waiting for to tell that you've loved this boy for over 7 years?

Maria Cecília – I don't know friend, I believe I will never say anything

Mariana – I don't understand why, but if you want it that way

Maria Cecília – Well, you know that I am a simple person and he is the son of rich people

Mariana - We don't have that much contact with him, but from the little I see they say, he's just a chicken friend but a handsome man like that, if he wasn't a chicken at least a chick he would be - He said laughing

Maria Cecília – Maybe I should say yes, I already have a no, if a yes comes it will be a surprise

I just needed to know how I was going to tell if it was going to be through a letter or if I was going to speak face to face and I decided to be more cautious and put all my feelings on paper, taking advantage of the break time

"Something about you moves me and I don't know what it is, I don't know what it is about you that holds me back so much for so many years, but it's something that only you have and that's what sets you apart from other people. I've never been able to see that in anyone It's something strong, intense, something that takes me on a path destined for you and only you, a feeling that sometimes frightens me, but it ends quickly as soon as you arrive and open that beautiful smile, when you're sad I have the power to take away my own happiness just to see one more smile on your face even if we don't have that much intimacy, I don't say that just because I love you but also because a smile from you makes my day change completely, from my dreams, you never leave and always with your smile, with your eyes that are such a beautiful brown making me feel happy, making me feel loved even without you knowing it, everything that comes from you makes me feel better and fate brought you into my life, in such an unexpected way, I didn't imagine it would become so important but it did and made my heart beat faster, I'm completely in love with you, I can't deny it and even if I did you would know it would be the biggest lie in the world. My life wouldn't be the same without you, I fall more in love with you every day and you know what? I want to have a life by your side, planning it, but now not alone, not thinking only of myself; but in both of us and I want to be happy, my happiness is in you, I love you in secret for 8 years! Signed: Maria Cecília"

Mariana thought it was very cheesy, but I wouldn't have the courage to come and say everything I've felt for so many years so it was the best way, because we spoke very few times and he would certainly be surprised

Mariana – And when will you deliver this friendly letter? Go now, won't you? - He said biting his fingernails.

Maria Cecília – No my friend, it's better when you leave! I'll call and give it to him and finally he'll know how much I love him

The school bell rang and we headed towards the classroom, but there was a strange buzz, I hadn't seen Bernardo that day yet because he was writing the letter

Mariana – What is going on there? – Mariana asked a small group that was huddled together

– Bernardo Marrontinne had a bad fight with the 3rd grade boy and was suspended, but it seems that his parents took him out of school because he had no reason to be suspended

Maria Cecília – WHAT? I NEED TO RUN - I said running towards the exit gate

It's not possible, now that I've taken the courage to declare myself and open my heart, the parents take him out of the school like this, I ran across the school corridor until I reached the main gate, but when I arrived, the doorman wouldn't let me out

Yeah, did I mention that if I buy a dwarf, it grows? Unlucky as I am!

Porter - Where do you think you're going young lady?

Maria Cecília – I need to give this to Bernardo! Let me out please - I begged

But still the doorman wouldn't let me out, there was only Bernardo outside the car and as I saw that there was an open gap in his backpack, I threw the letter with the intention of falling into the backpack, but the letter fell into the manhole close to where Bernardo was and of course he didn't see

I could see the letter falling through the bars, I was completely helpless and I could hear the song "oh no, oh no, oh no, no no"

It was by a thread, now that Bernardo will never know that I've loved him for so many years

Mariana – Maria Cecilia! – Came running – Were you able to deliver the letter to him?

Maria Cecília – Oh, my friend! He still hadn't got into the car, just his parents and as his backpack was open because of skateboarding I still wanted him to get into the backpack

Mariana – And did you enter?

Maria Cecília – It was by a thread, but she fell down the drain

Mariana – What bad luck my friend! - He said hugging me.

I went home desolate and thinking that maybe I'll never see the boy I've loved for more than years

The next day and I didn't feel like getting out of bed to go to school at all, since my biggest reason was not going to school anymore and there was very little left to finish the year, I woke up from my thoughts when I heard a knock on the door

Fernando – Maria Cecília, wake up! Her mother told me to ask her to go to school

Maria Cecília – Not today daddy! I am not well

Fernando – What do you have? You don't look like you're sick! - He said placing his hand on my forehead.

Maria Cecília – You don't look like a drunk and addicted to gambling, but you are and that's not why I'm saying anything to you - I said while holding the pillow tighter

Fernando – Maria Cecília, I demand respect from you! You're not talking to your high school friends and come on, go shower soon and get ready for school

Maria Cecília – "I demand respect from you!" those who see it even think they have all this ball to talk that way - I mocked going towards the bathroom

To be honest, it would have been more of a miracle that my dad was home at this time of the morning, since he was up all night drinking and playing poker with his friends.

I got out of the shower going to the dresser to get my uniform, I started getting ready and thinking that it would be a long day at school since I wouldn't have my fuel that took me to school every day

I finished getting ready when I heard the thin cry that I could never mistake, it was my sister Elizabeth, but what was she doing at that time also at home? My mother always took her with her to the salon.

Maria Cecília – Why is my sister crying?

Fernando – She is nauseous because of the vaccine and told her mother to leave her here with me because the clients would complain about hearing her cry all the time

Maria Cecília – Are you taking care of a child? It's pretty dubious! - I found it strange

Fernando – I will not take care of it, your grandmother is coming soon and she will take care of it

Maria Cecília – So, I feel calmer because Elizabeth is her newest baby and I would never treat her badly like she does with me

I went to school calm in knowing that I would be in control, I went to the hall quickly and gave Mom a kiss and on the way I met Mariana

Mariana – Good morning friend, your face looks terrible!

Maria Cecília – It's good that it suits me, isn't it?

Mariana – My friend, you can't get borocochozinha like that, I've been looking and I know that Bernardo has a cousin who studies there at the school, who knows, you might not get his address from her

Maria Cecília - But I don't even know her name or anything - He said with his head down

Mariana – Don't worry, I know everything, just follow me and you'll be fine

We arrived at the school and Mariana followed me like madam's puppy up and down behind that girl who was Bernardo's cousin, super famous, but I never saw her and knew of her existence.

Mariana – Have you seen a blonde girl with light eyes called Ana? - She asked a small group that was in the canteen

"Over there," she said, pointing.

Mariana – Let's go Maria Cecília, courage! Ask for Marrontinne's address and let's go there, if that letter fell into the manhole it's sure to be fate telling you to express yourself face to face to him

Maria Cecília – Or is it fate stamping on my face that I will never have him, I even gave up on declaring myself sab... - I said while Mariana pulled me by the arm

Mariana – Anna? – Mariana cut me off – This is Maria Cecília, she and her cousin Bernardo have a pending matter and we heard that he left school, right? Anyway, can you give us his address or some contact?

Ana – Ih if it's another affair of my cousin, I already let you know that he's not worth anything cute – He said giving me a wink

Maria Cecília – It's nothing like that, er... – I got all flustered

Anna – I understand! My cousin really is a scoundrel, but a handsome, lucky scoundrel, no need to be shy! I'll give you the address and I'll even take you there, darling, but don't ever say that I gave you the address, my uncle is all mysterious and doesn't like Bernardo taking little cases home

Mariana – But she's not one of his affairs, well... not yet, right? - He said smiling at me.

Maria Cecília – Shut up, Mariana! Let's go before you drag my face across the school floor until you reach the pool, such shame - I said pulling her by the hand

Ana – There's no need to be shy, it's not cute, I understand what's going on, but don't care, because there's no point in a pity like you suffering for my cousin. Here is the address and remember, never say who gave it to you - He handed me the paper with the address on it.

Even redder than Mariana's bulletin, I still took the paper and walked away with the same

Mariana - See? It wasn't that difficult and from what I saw, that one over there likes mangoes and bananas, right?

Maria Cecília – What?

Mariana – Didn't you notice? I smelled leather from afar, the one next to her must be a girlfriend, I have no doubt!

Maria Cecília – Mariana, don't be delirious! Let's go home soon, I want to take a shower and get ready pretty to go there

We took the bus and Mariana got off at the same stop as me, since she wanted to go with me so that I wouldn't give up opening my heart halfway through, I even thought about writing another letter, but after the tragic end that the other one took I I preferred not to insist any longer and the only paper I will want to see are cash notes

I got ready pretty, Mariana wanted to put on several jewelry and a very flashy dress, however, that wouldn't be me, I liked the simple and I just put on an eye pencil, compact powder, mascara and a colorless gloss

Mariana insisted on paying for a taxi so that we could get there faster, whoever saw it would think that she was the one who would propose and not me.

Maria Cecília – It doesn't seem like I'm going to declare myself, you're more anxious than I am

Mariana – It's not a matter of anxiety, Mariazinha, it's a matter of letting go and I can't take it any longer for you to say "no, I'm saving my heart for Bernardo" so it's better to declare it once.

Maria Cecília – It was still a reality, wasn't it?

Mariana – No, that's where you're wrong Maria Cecília! There is the love of life and the love of your parakeet, but you don't even have a deadline of when you will allow yourself to meet the love of your parakeet, since you never let go of the love of life! You need to give this parakeet wings!

Maria Cecília – Jeez Mariana, you nymphomaniac!